Breathers for Applejack (a MLP story) ch. 1

	The wind ran over the green hills and through the orchards before blowing gently across the hot and dusty country road, smelling like dirt and apples.  Applejack caught the scent in the breeze and smiled.  It was the smell of home.  There was no place she'd rather be in all of equestria than her home, but part of having a home meant having to leave it sometimes.  She was terribly prone to being homesick, even into her adulthood (although she hid this from nearly everypony she knew), but over the years she'd learned that going away gave her the opportunity to return home again.  Walking down the country road with the urban hustle and bustle of ponyville at her back and rolling green hills to her front, smelling the orchards on the wind before cresting that first big hill and seeing sweet apple acres in the distance always gave her a nostalgic feeling.  She loved her home.  But unlike the numerous apples in the orchards, supplies to run it didn't grow on trees.  So, she was heading into town on her monthly general supply trip.  In addition to the perpetually unfinished/broken down barn, there was a fence in the east orchard that needed repairing, and she suspected her younger sister was taking some of the nails and turpentine for her and her friends' clubhouse.  So, she had planned to buy some extras to compensate.  She'd even made a shopping list, like Twilight always wanted her to do.
	She walked down that road, the smell of apples still fresh in her nostrils, when she heard someone call her name in the distance.  She turned and saw the small, yellow figure of her younger sister Applebloom running towards the road from the farm.  Applebloom's tiny hooves worked at a rapid gallop, and she was panting.  She approached the fence separating the farm from the road, where Applejack was waiting.  Applebloom stopped just short of her side of the fence, panting.
	“W-Wait...wait up...” she said between breaths.  Applejack gave a short chuckle.
	“I haven't left yet, sugar cube, go on and catch your breath.” she said.  Applebloom regained her composure, swallowed, and then kept panting.
	“Granny Sm-...Gra...Granny Smith...wanted to ask you...if you remembered...to get a bellows.” she said, her panting calming down.
	“A bellows?  You mean for the fireplace?  What's wrong with our old one?”
	“You broke 'em.” she said.
	“I did what?” said Applejack, her head recoiling back in surprise so hard her hat flew off her head, drifting slowly back down to rest at an odd angle.  “I did nothin' of the sort.”
	“I know, sis, I didn't mean it like that!  I just meant that when Spike was doin' his...thing...and he tried to use 'em to help you breathe, he was too rough on 'em.  And when you were...” she said, before puffing her cheeks out and putting her forelegs out around her for emphasis, “all that air pressure must'a popped somethin' in there.  And when you blew Spike away, it landed on the ground and somethin' else popped.  So now it won't work.”  she said.
	“Ah, pony feathers.  Well...I did bring extra bits, just in case.  I suppose I can...drop by Geronimo's Smithin's and pick one up...” she said to herself before she noticed that Applebloom was noticeably trying not to smile, which was getting more and more obvious.  “And what's so funny about the smithin' traders, hmm?” she asked, smiling a little herself.  Applebloom shook her head and giggled to herself.
	“I'm sorry big sis, but that just got me thinkin'a that whole thing with Spike and all.  He blew you up like a party balloon!” she said, laughing.  Applejack just smiled and rolled her eyes.
	“Yeah, alright, alright.” she said, good-naturedly.  “I suppose it was pretty funny.  But this new one won't be used for horseplay, alright?  Fireplace bellows are real delicate.” she said, pointing a hoof at Applebloom, “...apparently.” she added.
	“I promise!” said Applebloom.
	“Okay, then.  Thanks for telling me, Applebloom, that was real helpful of ya'll.” she said.  Applebloom beamed proudly.  “Now run on back to Granny Smith, tell her I'll be sure to pick one up.”  she said.  Applebloom nodded and turned around, not moving.  She puffed her cheeks out and spread her legs out wide, moving forward in a couple of small hops before slowly making her way back in wide, waddling strides.  Applejack gave a quiet sigh out of her nose and continued on her way.

	After she had resumed her journey for a little ways, she stopped her walk long enough to pick a blade of straw from the side of the road with her hoof and put it in her mouth.  She continued on her way, tilting her hat forward to keep the sun out of her eyes, and she heard the sudden whooshing sound that heralded the arrival of her best friend.  She stopped to turn around.
	“Well howdy, Rainbow Dash.” she said, smiling.  The blue-colored pegasus was perched on the fence on the side of the road, digging in the patch of straw that Applejack had just visited.
	“Hey, Applejack.” she said, before ungracefully yanking out a hoof full of straw and taking flight.  “Are you headed into town?” she asked, hovering and maintaining a slow speed with Applejack.
	“Eeyep.  Good to see you drop by, but I thought the weather patrol was supposed to start movin' clouds in today?  Y'all aren't supposed to be workin', are ya?” she asked as Rainbow Dash coolly put a blade of straw in her mouth.
	“Yeah, well I'm- PLAH!” she said, spitting it out and wiping her forehooves together, dropping all she was carrying on the road.  “Yeah, well I'm waiting for the cloud factory to resume production again.  There were some technical difficulties.  Some filly or colt pipejammed in one of the output shafts and they had to stop all production to sort it all out.”
	“'Sort it out'?  That's doesn't sound too good.” Applejack said.  Rainbow continued.
	“Yeah, so they have to scrub the evaporation turbines, clear out the condenser pylons and dehumidify the entire interior of the shaft network.  Until then, no clouds.”  she said, raising a hoof to the clear sky.  Applejack just blinked at her.  All of the technical jargon Rainbow Dash had just said may as well have gone in one ear and out the other.
	“Is that so.” she said, simply.
	“Yeah.  I'm waiting til I get the go ahead, and then it's back to work.” she said.
	“Really?  Are ya sure ya weren't just sleeping in our orchards again?” she asked, with an edge of suspicion to her voice.  Rainbow Dash's face lit up in a surprised expression.
	“Uh-of course not.  Me?  Never!” she said.
	“Rainbow...”  she said, discerningly.
	“Aww...okay fine!  Yeah, I was sleeping in the east orchard.  Did Applebloom tell you?  She snitched on me, didn't she?”
	“Rainbow Dash!  You say 'snitch' like it's a bad thing!  Why, when I was her age, I would snitch on troublemakers every chance I got!” she said, proudly putting a hoof to her chest.
	“Yeah.  I remember.” grumbled Rainbow Dash, rolling her eyes.
	“And for your information, no, my sister did not 'snitch' on you.  If she did, I would'a come gotten you sooner.  I only figured you were, cause you got apple tree leaves in your mane.” she said.  Rainbow Dash ruffled her rainbow-colored mane and some leaves from the apple tree she slept in came out and fluttered to the ground.
	“Oh.  Oops.”  was all she said.  Applejack gave her an accusatory stare before returning her gaze to the road ahead of her, her head held high.
	“I'll let it slide this time.  Next time I'm telling Big Macintosh.”
	“Alright fine!  Next time I'll sleep in your smelly barn instead.  I'm sorry.  Happy?”
	“Mmmm-hmm.  I might just make an honest mare out you yet, Rainbow Dash.” Applejack said, a grin returning to her face.
	“Yeah, yeah, we'll see about that.  Anyways, what are you heading into town for?  Doing your supply run?” she asked.
	“Eeyep.” Applejack said.
	“Need any help?” asked Rainbow Dash.
	“Well...we need to make a lumber run at some point, but Big Macintosh is the only one strong enough to haul the cart fully loaded.”
	“Oh, alright.  Need help with anything else?”
	“Hmmm...I also need help picking out a, uh...” she started, before regretting bringing it up, knowing who she was talking to.
	“Picking out a what?”
	“a...bellows.” she said, uneasily, hoping that Rainbow wouldn't inquire further.
	“A bellows?  Like for the fireplace?  What happened to your old ones?” she asked.  Applejack winced and hesitated before answering, which took just long enough for Rainbow to remember on her own, her eyes lighting up as she did so, before she started giggling to herself, mischievously.  “Heeheehee...oh, yeah, now I remember...”
	“Right.  Well, apparently bellows are real fragile, and they broke during all that.” she said.
	“Oh, so you need...heeheehee...so you need some more heavy duty ones?  To help you with all the...breathing you'll be doing?  Ha ha ha ha ha ha!” she broke into her cackling laughter.  “Oh, oh!  Maybe you should get one with a net on it, so it can...catch your breath!  Ha ha ha ha ha ha!  You can't really do any physical activity or sports like that though, can you?  Not unless you're entering...a balloon race!  Ha ha ha ha ha!” she said, clutching at her belly and kicking her hind legs around, cackling gleefully while she still hovered alongside Applejack.
	“Heh heh...heh...yeah, that's...real funny, Rainbow Dash.” she said, laughing uncomfortably, not trying very hard to hide it.
	“Ha ha!  And-and you could be the balloon!  Haaaaaa!  Ha ha ha ha ha!” laughed Rainbow Dash.
	“Heh...yeah, I got it...kinda funny...I suppose...” she said, forcing a smile.  They both walked into town together.

	Applejack was quiet, listening to Rainbow Dash talk about various things nonstop, with the occasional joke about Applejack being a balloon thrown in between topics.  They'd just started coming into the market district when they spotted Pinkie Pie bouncing along with several shopping bags in her mouth, and the beleaguered form of Fluttershy behind her, carrying several shopping bags in her own mouth and one clutched under each wing, trying to catch up.
	“Oh, hey, it's Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy!  Hey!” Rainbow Dash said, waving to them.  Pinkie's eyes lit up and she happily bounced over to them.  Applejack didn't say anything, but she was relieved to finally have another friend around that she could converse with and not bring up the whole breathing thing.  After all, Pinkie Pie wasn't present when it happened, and there's no way that Fluttershy would bring it up.  Applejack smiled at the prospect.
	“Howdy Pinkie, Howdy Fluttershy!” she said.
	“Hey Rainbow Dash!  Howdy Applejack!” said Pinkie, the bags she was holding by her mouth bobbing up and down.  Fluttershy caught up to her and smiled, preferring to not say anything than let any of the bags she was holding by her teeth go.
	“Hey, what're you shopping for?” asked Rainbow Dash, pointing to the bags they were carrying.
	“Oh!  Fluttershy and I are preparing for the Pre-Groundhog's Day's Eve party I'm throwing tomorrow!” she said.
	“Groundhog's day...eve?” asked Applejack, rubbing her head with one of her hooves in confusion, moving her hat back and forth as she did so.  “I thought Groundhog's Day wasn't til next week?”
	Pinkie giggled in response.“Well of course Groundhog's day is next week, silly!  But tomorrow it will be one week before one day before it's Groundhog's Day!  That's why it's a Pre-Groundhog's Day's Eve party, duh!” she said.  Applejack and Rainbow Dash both gave each other confused looks before they looked back at the pair of them.
	“And...Fluttershy is helping you prepare?” asked Rainbow Dash.
	“Uh-huh!  She's the one supplying the groundhogs!” she said.  Fluttershy gently placed the bags she was holding on the ground.
	“Oh, yes.  Pinkie came to me and told me about her party idea this morning, and asked if she could borrow some of my groundhogs.”
	“It took me forever to convince her that I would take good care of them, but then I got a great idea!  I told her that she should help me throw it!  So I appointed her the 'Secretary of Groundhogs', but she thought that it sounded too important, and then she started cracking under the pressure of all the hypothetical responsibilities of being a secretary of something during the 30 seconds that she had the title, so, instead I just appointed her 'Fluttershy'”.
	“I like just being me.” she said, smiling a little.
	“But by having a title, she shares 50% of the responsibilities of the preparations for the party.” said Pinkie, decisively chopping her hoof down in the air.  “It's the rules!  I wrote all about it in my legal codex, Lex Partior Pinkium.”
	“At first, I was nervous about having Pinkie teach me how to throw parties...but the title that she appointed me was so...considerate.  And she asked me so...nicely.” she said, smiling shyly.
	“So then she said yes!  And we went out to start shopping for things!  And then we finished shopping for things, and started heading back down to Sugarcube Corner, but then we ran into you guys!  And then Rainbow Dash said 'Hey!' and Applejack said 'Howdy Pinkie Pie, Howdy Fluttershy!' and then I said 'Hey Rainbow Dash, Howdy Apple-
	“Yeah, yeah, yeah, we remember.”  said Rainbow Dash.
	“Oh yeah!” said Pinkie, and she giggled with her infectious, high-pitched laughter.  “So what are you two coming to the market for?”
	“Oh!”  Rainbow Dash said, and Applejack knew that she was going to tell a joke she had prepared, and she also knew that Pinkie would be even worse at keeping it to herself than Rainbow was.
	“Supplies!” Applejack said, dashing in front of Rainbow and cutting her off.  “I'm doing my monthly supply run, and asked if Rainbow Dash wanted to help me, and so we're goin' to buy supplies, and that's all.” she said, flashing a reassuring smile.  Rainbow Dash giggled behind her.
	“Yeah, but she needs to buy a bellows because-
	“Cause my old ones broke, and I just need some new ones!  For the fireplace!” she said, cutting Rainbow off again.  “And nothin' else!” she said, her eyes wide.
	“Hmmmmm...” Pinkie said, rubbing her chin.  “Are you hiding something, Applejack?” she said.
	“No, I ain't hidin' nothin'.  And that's the honest truth.”
	“Are you sure you aren't going to use the bellows to enter...the balloon race!?” she said.
	“No.” said Applejack, closing her eyes and nodding confidently.  Her eyes shot back open again.  “Wait, what did y'all say?” she asked.  Pinkie Pie nearly collapsed, giggling to herself, and Rainbow Dash busted up laughing with her.
	“Ha ha ha!  That's what- that's what I said!  Ha ha ha ha!” said Rainbow.
	“Rainbow Dash!  Did you tell her what happened?” she asked frustratedly, stamping her hoof on the cobblestone.
	“Heeheehee ha ha ha!  Don't look at me, I didn't tell her anything!” said Rainbow Dash, laughing.
	“But Pinkie Pie wasn't there!  How did she...?” Applejack asked.  She noticed Fluttershy blushing, looking at various spots on the ground, avoiding eye contact with anyone, while she slowly and silently shrunk and hid behind Pinkie.   Applejack gave an annoyed sigh.  “Gravy.” she said.  And if Pinkie had known about it long enough to be making jokes about it, that means that everypony knew.
	“Ooh, Ooh, I know, what do you call Applejack when she's had too much helium?  An apple flie!  Oh!  No, wait!  An apple floatter!  No!  An apple blimpkin!” she said, and Rainbow Dash was in tears with laughter.  Even Fluttershy giggled a little bit, covering her muzzle with her hoof, before she made eye contact with Applejack, and her smile immediately fell as she dropped her hoof and flitted her eyes shamefully back to ground.  Applejack had taken as much laughter as she could handle.
	“Well, I got things to buy.” she said, flatly.  “Don't be a stranger.” she said, trotting around Pinkie and continuing into the market.  Rainbow Dash opened one eye long enough to see her speedily walking away.
	“Hey!  Wait for me!” she said, flying after her.
	“Bye Rainbow Dash!  Bye Applejack!  See you at the party!” said Pinkie, waving after them.  Fluttershy stood next to her, waving nervously with one of her hooves.

	Applejack trotted at a brisk pace, but Rainbow Dash was always able to keep up without a problem.  “Ha ha ha ha...apple blimpkin...where does she come up with this stuff?”  Rainbow Dash said.  Applejack didn't say anything.  Her expression just soured and her head sank a little lower.  She made a stop at Tough-As-Nails' nail stall.
	“Hey there, Applejack.” the burly, bright red earth pony stallion said.
	“Howdy, Tough-As-Nails.  I just need a couple boxes of ¾ inch standard nails, a couple boxes of  ¼ inch deck nails, and a box of those real long support ones I've been seein' around.”
	“Alright.  That'll be...let's see...9 bits.” he said, as Applejack started fishing the golden coins out of her saddlebag.  “Yeah, the 4 inchers are real nice.” he said, putting the nails she asked for on the counter and casually resting a hoof on them, “What do you plan on usin' 'em for?  Some of those, uh...what do you call 'em...mooring lines?” he asked, slyly.
	“Naw, I thought about reinforcin' the walls on the barn.  That way, it'll stop getting knocked- wait, hold on a second...mooring lines?” she asked.  “I ain't plannin' on installin' any-” she cut herself off.  Tough-As-Nails starting cracking up, good-naturedly.  Realization dawned on Rainbow Dash's face.
	“Oh!  Ha ha ha ha!  Mooring lines!  Ha ha ha ha ha ha!” she said, kicking her hooves in the air.  Applejack's eyes narrowed.  She dumped the bits on the counter with a practiced flick of her head and swept all the boxes into her saddlebag with one sweep of her hoof.
	“Be seein' ya.” she said, bitterly.  Rainbow Dash followed her, laughing.
	“Bye, Tough-As-Nails!” she said, waving back at him.
	“Bye, you two!  Remember AJ, watch out for those sharp points!” he called out, and Rainbow Dash laughed even harder.

	Her next stop was at Blossom Frill's stall to get some lantern oil.
	“Hello, Applejack.” the white pegasus said, smiling kindly.
	“Hey, Blossom.  I'm gonna need this can filled.” she said, fishing a metal container out of her saddlebag and putting it on the counter.
	“Oh, certainly.  That'll be 10 bits.” she said, and Applejack started rummaging through her saddlebag.  She froze and looked up at Blossom Frill, who only smiled back.  She suspiciously brought out the coins and spit them out onto the counter.
	“So, uh...I'm just plannin' on usin' these for lanterns.  Nothing else.” said Applejack.
	“Oh!  I wouldn't want you to!  This oil is very flammable, and very dangerous, and should only be used in a gold-standard certified oil lantern!” she said.
	“Yeah.  I'm always safe when it comes to fire, don't you worry.” said Applejack back, waiting for the punchline.
	“Oh.  Well, that's very good.” she said, smiling back.  There was an awkward silence as she pumped oil into the can.  Rainbow Dash gave an annoyed sigh.  She was bored.  Applejack looked back and forth between them when she let out a contented sigh herself, smiling at her moment's respite from the bellows jokes.
	“Oh!  Um...” Blossom said, tapping a hoof against her head, trying to remember.  “Oh!  Yes.  I don't want you to be using an oil lantern for reasons other than its intended purpose.  None of this...using it to...make yourself a hot air balloon, that I've been hearing so much about.” she said, pointing a scolding hoof at her, apparently sincerely.  Applejack's smile slowly wilted down to a frown as she heard Rainbow Dash covering her mouth with her hoof, snickering in the air behind her.
“That would be quite irresponsible.” she said, nodding.
	“Is that what they're sayin'.” Applejack said, matter-of-factly.
	“Yes.  Everypony seems to be talking about it today.” she said, oblivious, “And I told them, well, if she wants to blow herself up like a balloon, that's her own business.  But it's the irresponsible use of oil lantern accessories that I cannot abide by!” she said.  Applejack was speechless, but Rainbow Dash butted in, putting a hoof around Applejack's shoulders.
	“Don't worry, Blossom, I'll make sure she doesn't use her hobby irresponsibly.” she said.
	“Well that's good.  At least one of you is thinking safely about lantern use.” she said, smiling satisfactorily.  “Oh!” she said, tapping her hoof on her head again.  “Speaking of hot air balloons, um...I was meaning to tell you.  Oh, darn it, Raindrops stopped by earlier, and said she was looking for you...and she wanted me to tell you something if I ever saw you...but now I can't remember what...” she said.  Rainbow Dash gasped.
	“Aw, crud!  Is the weather factory up and running again?” she asked.
	“Yes!  That's it!” she said, nodding.  Rainbow Dash groaned.
	“Um...sorry AJ, I gotta go.  I probably should have been up there half an hour ago.” she said, fluttering slowly away.
	“No, it's no problem.  You just do what you gotta do.” she said, glad to have Rainbow Dash out of her mane for the time being.
	“Okay.  Great!  Uh...we can finish this up later, okay?” she said, before turning around and shooting off into the sky, leaving a rainbow-colored contrail behind her.  Applejack sighed in relief and turned back to the stall.
	“Here's your lantern oil!” said Blossom Frill.
	“Thank ya kindly, Blossom.” Applejack said, putting it back in her saddlebag.
	“But no hot air ballooning.” she said, wagging her hoof.  Applejack let out a loud groan.  “No ifs, ands, or buts!  Fire safety is serious business!” she said.
	“But I- nnnngggggg...” Applejack said, cutting herself off before she said something she was gonna regret.  “Fine.  I'll try not to.” she said , plainly.
	She made her way to the different stalls, trying to keep conversation to a minimum as her saddlebags filled up and items got checked off of her list.  She didn't hear any more jokes at her expense, but couldn't help but feel all the eyes on her wherever she went, or notice the grins that came across pony's faces when they spotted her, and her mood got worse.  When she checked the last item off the list, it was time for the last order of business.  The thing that Applejack had been looking forward to the least.  Geronimo's Smithings was a large trading post slightly out of the way of some of the more popular walk-ins.  She went inside and looked around, going immediately for the shelf with the bellows on it.  There were different models, but she didn't bother checking between them.  She grabbed a handle on one of them with her teeth and carried it over to the line.  She stood there, seething, breathing hard out of her nostrils.  What she didn't notice was an old pony behind her with old, quilted saddlebags on and a shawl.  She leaned to the side, looking over Applejack.
	“My my, such a strong young mare.  Ye're probably good at sports n' things, aren't ye?” she asked in a lilting accent.  Applejack didn't say anything, she just slowly turned her head and looked at her.  Applejack had never seen this old mare before.  Applejack glared at her while she smiled.  “I only ask cause ye seem like such a strong girl, but ye're so out of breath.” she said.  Applejack had to make a conscious effort to stop breathing so hard out of her nostrils.  “Good thing ye're buying a bellows, hmm?” she said, giving a small chuckle.  “To help ye with ye're breathin', hmm?” she asked.  Applejack didn't say anything, she just slowly turned her head back forward.  She starting shaking her head, which got more and more negative until she got fed up and spit the bellows out of her mouth.
	“No.  No!  That's it!  I'm sick and tired of all these jokes!  Oh, do you need help breathing Applejack?  You must be entering the balloon race Applejack!  Ha ha ha!  Let's all laugh at Applejack!” she said.  Everypony in the store was staring at her, speechless.  “Well it's not funny!  I'm tired of hearing about something that happened once!  And it was a while ago!  And it was not!  That big!  Of a deal!” she shouted, and stomped out of the place, brushing roughly against the side of the old pony, her old saddlebags getting tugged off, falling on the floor and getting stamped on by one of Applejack's hooves in the process.  The old pony's expression darkened, and she looked up at Applejack with menace.
	“Ye made a mistake, strong little filly.” she said, her voice dark enough that it caused Applejack to stop in her tracks.
	“Oh yeah?  Well, I'm sorry.” she said.
	“Ye don't really mean that, I can tell.”
	“Well too bad, that's all you're gettin'.  I'm done for the day.” she said.
	“Oh, no ye're not.  I curse you, Applejack!” she said, lifting a twisted hoof up.
	“Oh yeah?  A curse?  Well, I just happen to know from experience that curses ain't real.” she said, bitterly.
	“Oh, I curse you, Applejack.  Whatever darkness lies in your heart shall be laid bare for all ponies to see!  Whatever your worst fear is, shall come true!  Your friends will be enemies, so it shall fall to you to befriend your enemies!” she said.
	“Isn't this supposed to rhyme or somethin'?” Applejack asked.
	“I curse you, Applejack.  I curse you!  Waste all the breath you want on me, for all of equestria shall be glad to...give it back.” she said, grinning wickedly.
	“Is that supposed to be another breathing joke?  You know what?  I have the list, I'm going home.” she said.  She turned around and stomped down the street.
	“Yes...see you soon, Applejack.  Hopefully.  Hopefully.” said the old mare, watching her go.

	The road gave way to her farm and Applejack was truly home again.  She couldn't enjoy it as she normally did because she wasn't in the cheeriest of moods after her experience in Ponyville, and her strange encounter with the old pony.  She sullenly dragged her hooves as she walked, feeling guilty for not buying the bellows while she was there, even though she had promised to.  Overall, she was not having a good day.  She dumped the supplies off next to the barn, and shook her body off, free from the added weight of the bags.  She heard commotion in the orchard and figured she should get this off of her chest now and tell her family what had happened.  Maybe Big Macintosh could pick one up when he went to the lumber yard.  She walked through the shade of the apple trees, and saw her large, muscular older brother bucking trees with one hoof, Applebloom arranging empty baskets under them.
	“I'm back.  I got most of the supplies.” she said, simply.
	“Hey Applejack!” said Applebloom enthusiastically, trotting over to her.  “Did you remember to get the-uh...umm...Applejack, are you...feeling alright?” she asked.  Applejack sighed.
	“No.  Everypony kept making jokes about me needin' help breathin', n bein' blown up like a balloon 'n all that.  After dealin' with it all mornin', I couldn't take it anymore, 'n I lost my temper.  I started rantin' 'n ravin' at everypony in earshot.  I even got an old mare so upset she put a curse on me.”  She said, and Big Macintosh had completely stopped working, making his way over to Applebloom with a concerned look on his face.  “Well, you know, not a real one.  She's probably into that hippy-dippy stuff, like the ponies that Rarity buys her beauty products from.   Anyways, I didn't buy a bellows, n' I feel mighty awful for snappin' at everypony like that.  I'm...I'm sorry.” she said, her head low in shame, with tears in her eyes.
	“Uuuh...you don't look too good, sis.  A little...short of breath, maybe?” Applebloom said.  Applejack let out a huge, anguished groan.
	“Celestia's bells, not you too!  What did I just get through explainin' to y'all?  Do I look short of breath to you?  Watch.” she said, taking a big, exaggerated breath.  Applebloom's eyes lit up in panic.
	“Oh no!  You're definitely out of breath!  Maybe it's the heat stroke!  Miss Cheerilee taught us about heat stroke in school.  Maybe that long walk to town and back carrying all those supplies got to your head!”
	“Applebloom, I don't have heat stroke.”  Applejack said, frustrated.  “Although, I'll give you points for creativity, nopony else's made a heat stroke joke today.  Well, alright, get it all out'a your systems.” she said, beckoning with her hoof.  Applebloom gasped, dramatically putting her hooves on the side of her head in fright.
	“Ah!  Not thinking you have heat stroke is the first symptom of heat stroke!  We have to get her out of the sun fast, Big Mac!” she said.
	“Eeeeeyup.” he said simply.
	“Applebloom, that's crazy talk, why would- yeeaaaagh!” she said as Big Macintosh's large, meaty hoof wrapped around her body and before she knew it, she was lifted off her feet and draped over his back like he used to do with her when she was a foal.
	“Wha- hey!”  Applejack said.  “Big Macintosh you put me down this instant!” she said, her body limply spread across his back.
	“Nnnnnnope.” he said simply.
	“Put me down!  Now!” she said, but he didn't respond.  She kicked her hooves around uselessly, but she couldn't budge herself as he carried her across the orchard, Applebloom in tow.

	Applebloom opened one of the slanted storm doors to the cellar, and then scampered over and opened the other one with effort.  Bag Macintosh went down the dusty steps to the dirt floor, walking past huge wooden barrels to the cellar, where they kept their stores of apple and grape juice during harvest season.  Applejack had given up kicking and fussing and was resting her head on one of her hooves, annoyed.
	“Alright.  This place is nice and cool and damp.  This oughta do nicely.” Applebloom said, walking around the main floorspace in a wide circle, and Big Macintosh set Applejack down in the center.  She didn't say anything, she just started walking away.
“No!  You have to sit and rest, Applejack!” said Applebloom, grabbing her and setting her up against one of the large barrels.
	“But there's still work-” Applejack started.
	“No work!  You have to sit and rest, big sis.  The extra activity could cook your brains!” she said.  Applejack just crossed her front legs in a moping manner and looked to the side, angrily.  “That's better.  Now, you go and get Granny Smith, Big Mac.  I'll stay here and make sure Applejack doesn't go nowhere.” she said.
	“Eeeeeyup.” he said, turning and walking back up the steps.
	“Okay.  Now, what was the next step?  Get them in the shade, sit them down for rest, then...oh, yeah!  Get them something to drink!”  she said.  “Oh, wow, it sure was lucky that Big Mac brought you to the cellar, wasn't it?” she said, looking at the huge barrels of juice around them.
	“Yeah.  It's great.” said Applejack, sourly.
	“Good!  You realize you have the condition now!  Don't worry, Applejack, we're trying to help you!” she said.
	“Come on Applebloom, this joke's gone on long enough!  This is ridiculous!  I'm just waitin' for Granny Smith to get here and set you two straight.” she said.
	“But you've got a problem, sis!  You're still so short of breath!  Oh, you're barely breathing!  Has it gotten worse?” she said.  Applejack groaned.  “We need to get you something to drink, fast!” she said, her tiny hooves pounding the dirt as she galloped over to one of the huge barrels and skidded to a halt.  “Apple juice?  Nope.” she said, scampering over to the next one.  “Grape juice?  Mmm...nah.” she said, scampering over to the next one.  “Cccccider?  Oh, yeah!  We still have extra cider leftover from that competition a ways back!  I think this would classify enough as an emergency to break it open!” she said, approaching the huge wooden barrel in the corner.
	“Applebloom, we're saving that for a special occasion.  I'm not gonna drink any for the sake of your drawn-out joke.”  She said.
	“Now let's see.  How do you...” said Applebloom, not listening, as she fumbled with the tap with her hooves.
	“Applebloom!  Stop!” she said, getting onto all fours and trotting her way over to the barrel.  With a metallic creak, the tap opened and sparkling, golden cider started pouring out of the spigot, where it splashed on the cellar floor and made sweet, apple-flavored mud.  “Applebloom, look what you did!  If you open up one of these, you gotta put something under the tap or else it's all gonna- ULP!” she said as Applebloom deftly wrapped her foreleg around Applejack's neck and shoved her face-first into the tap.  The sound of cider splashing in the dirt immediately stopped and was replaced by a steady
GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP
 as Applejack looked with a mixture of worry and shock over her puffed out, freckled cheeks, past the spigot sticking out of her mouth and up at the barrel, which towered over her, filled with cider, pouring unrelentingly into her mouth, starting to make her orange stomach bulge outwards, making a noise similar to stretching rubber.
	“Nope.  I'll manage.  You can thank me later.” she said, as Applejack frantically clawed at the side of the huge barrel with her hooves, her belly getting bigger and rounder, but Applebloom was deep in thought, a hoof to her chin, completely oblivious to her expanding sister's plight.  She walked around Applejack's widening hindquarters as her hind legs trembled under her own weight and collapsed, splaying outwards, her bloated flanks hitting the ground, wobbling up and down and narrowly missing Applebloom.  “Now let's see...now we've got that taken care of...” she said, just barely outpacing the swell of her sister's orange rump, which was getting bigger and rounder by the second.  Her blonde tail rose upward, uncoiling itself from the ground, rising higher and higher before the tip finally lifted off, and it draped limply down her expanding butt cheeks, rising up...and up...and up...
GULP GULP GULP “Mmmmmph!” GULP GULP GULP “Mmmmmmph!” GULP GULP GULP
	“Get them in the shade...then you...get them something to drink...”
	“MMMMMMMPH!” GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP
	“No, wait...first you get them in the shade, then you have them rest, then you get them something to drink!  Or was it...?”
	GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP “Mmph.” GULP GULP “Mmph.” GULP
	“Okay.  So I did do it right so far.  But what's the next step?” she asked.
	GULP GULP GULP GULP...GULP...GULP...GULP......GLUB........GLUB...........GLUB.......
	“Oh yeah!  The next step is to take it easy again!” she said, turning around.  “Hey big...sis...” she trailed off, looking up in astonishment.  Applejack was huge and swollen, her mouth still wrapped around the spigot, somewhere, between freckly cheeks as big as cantaloupes.  Her big, bloated body was as large and round as the parade float that Applebloom had made with her friends for the summer harvest parade.  Her comparatively small hind legs stuck out on each side of her enormous, bloated hindquarters, and her forelegs stuck feebly straight out.  Her entire massive body was jostling up and down slightly, like a big, orange water balloon.
“Wow...you must've been thirstier than I thought.” said Applebloom.  She approached her inflated sister and prodded her with a hoof.  Her skin gave in and sprung back out, a muffled hissing, gurgling sound coming from her body.  She walked around Applejack's body to her head.  Applejack's eyes were wide and her pupils were narrowed.  Applebloom could see her lips wrapped around the spigot as her whole head bobbed up and down with her body and trembled, her bulging cheeks wobbling, as if there was an enormous pressure within her that was fighting to get out.  Applebloom looked right into Applejack's wide, emerald-green eyes, which looked up right back, darting up and down Applebloom's smiling face.
“There!  Don't you feel better already?” she asked.  Applejack blinked.  “Here, let me just...get you off...” she said, getting her hoof around Applejack's muzzle and pulling.  Her mouth stretched like rubber before audibly popping off, her head rocking forward and back slightly as a loud, distinct gurgling resonated from within her huge, cider-logged body.  Her eyes went wide and her cheeks puffed out again before
BRAAAAAAAAAAAAP!
She let loose with a monstrous burp, a few golden bubbles coming out of her mouth, before her head sunk downwards, sickly.
	“Uuuuuugh...*urp*...p-pardon...BRAAAP!”  she said, groggily.  Applebloom fiddled with the lever on the tap, but she seemingly couldn't open or close it.  A single drop of cider came out of the tap and hung there, before falling into the dirt.  Applejack watched it fall with disgust.
	“Sis!  You drank the whole thing!?  There was a whole season's worth of cider in there!  You weren't supposed to drink all of it!” she said.  Applejack just gurgled discontentedly, her tongue hanging out of her mouth.
	“Alright, alright, now, what's this all about?  Where's our little apple dumpling?” she heard Granny Smith say.  The small, green, old mare made her way slowly down the steps on trembling old hooves.  Big Macintosh followed closely behind her.  His sleepy eyes widened as soon as he saw Applejack's massively swollen body, his face falling in surprised confusion.  Granny Smith didn't seem to notice.  “Applejaaaaack?  Applejack?  Where are ya?  I can't take a good look at ya if you're hidin', oh just like when ya used to get stage fright 'n hide in the crawlspace...” she said, wandering aimlessly around.  Applebloom ran around Applejack and started tugging on Granny Smith's shawl.
	“Granny Smith, Granny Smith!” she said excitedly, pointing at Applejack.
	“Eeerrrwha'stha...?” she mumbled, before her eyes focused.  “Oh, howdy Applebloom!  Do you know where your big sister is?”
	“She's right there!” Applebloom said, pointing.
	“Oh, I see you 'n your little friends made another float for the parade!  Oooh, yes.  What is it this year, mmmm...an orange?  A pumpkin?” she asked.
	“No, Granny, that's not a float!” she said, galloping toward's Applejack's inflated rear end before jumping up.  “It is Applejack!” she said, slapping her hoof against Applejack's cutie mark, three apples which had been stretched out many times larger than their original size.  Applejack's body sloshed and gurgled upon contact.
	“Awhaa's that?  Applejack, is that you?” she said, treading slowly up to Applejack and giving her round body a couple of experimental prods with her hoof.  Applejack's tail reflexively whipped out, far above her expanded rump, before coming back down to a rest again.
	“Uuuugh...Granny Smith...” she said.  Granny Smith walked around the wide expanse of her body to her head.
	“My, my, my.  What happened here?  You're as big as a barn, sugar cube!  Well, I hope you drank your fill.  Haven't seen a filly put away this much cider since the third annual Apple family reunion, yep.  Or the eighth annual Apple family reunion, for that matter, when you got into the grapes that were supposed to be for the grape squishin' competition.” she said, poking Applejack with a sly grin.  Applejack gave a soft burp and groaned with her tongue hanging out, nearly sick at the mention of it.
	“I'm...I'm sorry, Granny Smith.  Ugh.  It was an accident.” she said, meekly wiggling her front hooves as she talked, “Applebloom muzzled me on the tap, 'n I tried to get off, but...ugh...I drank the whole barrel.” she said.
	“Mmmhmmmm.” Granny Smith said, a hoof to her chin, looking over Applejack's inflated body analytically before turning to the cider barrel and rapping on it with her hoof, hearing it ring hollowly in the vast space that formerly filled with cider that was now inside Applejack.  “Well, that's alright, Applejack.  It looks ya learned your lesson already.” she said.
	“My les-mmmph.  BRAAAAP.  Ugh...pardon...my lesson!?” she said, angrily jerking her head up in a way that made her whole big, round body slosh backwards and forwards in a way that made Applebloom and Big Macintosh take a couple steps back, uneasily.  “I didn't mean to drink a whole season's...ugh...worth of cider, this all started cause Applebloom was makin' a joke about me havin' heatstroke!”
	“It was not a joke!  Granny Smith, I was bein' serious!” she said, looking pleadingly at her.
	“Oh, not a joke my achin' hoof!  I had to put up with-
	“That's enough!  Both of ya!” Granny Smith interjected, and they were both silent.  In the silence, a gurgle audibly worked it's way through Applejack's body and she burped again.
	“Now.  Applebloom.  Tell yer ol' Granny Smith what happened.” she said.  Applejack turned her head the other way and pouted, her head sinking downwards and her tiny limbs sinking down as far as she could manage.
	“Well, Applejack came home and told us that she was sorry about somethin', and started ramblin' on with some nonsense about breathin' and balloons and an old pony curse, and I thought that she was delusional 'n miss Cheerilee taught us about heatstroke in school and so I thought it was heatstroke 'n I was just tryin' to help 'n now everypony's yellin' at me!” she said, stamping her hooves into the ground for emphasis with tears in her eyes.  Applejack's expression softened, and she looked more guilty.
	“'N that's the truth?” Applejack asked.
	“Honest truth!” Applebloom said.
	“Well...I'm sorry, little sis.  I was just havin' a bad day.  I thought you 'n Big Mac were havin' a laugh at my expense.  I didn't mean to- BRAAAAAAAP!  Mmm...pardon...I didn't mean to put ya down like that.”
	“'N I didn't...mean to make you drink a whole season's worth of cider.  I figured you'd stop.” she said.
	“Well, you got a mighty strong grip, you can't help it.  Runs in the family.” Applejack said, winking.  Applebloom giggled.
	“There.” Granny Smith said, smiling.  “Now everypony's all made up.”
	“There's just one problem, Granny Smith.  Applejack's as big as a house- er, a barn now!  How're we gonna get her out of the cellar?”  Applebloom asked.
	“Oh, well, I spose we'll have to get her out the same way we do with the barrels.  We'll open up the bay door, there, 'n Big Mac can...roll her out.” she said.  Big Macintosh gave Applejack a look, up and down, as if weighing her in his mind.
	“Eeeeeeyep.” he said, simply.  He walked over to the large bay door in the back of the cellar and kicked it open, and made his way over to Applejack.  She jiggled in place anxiously, watching him go back and forth.  She was over twice as big around as he stood tall, and he planted both of his rear hooves on her body and pushed.  He grimaced with the effort, his muscles straining and sweat forming on his brow, as Applebloom scampered up next to him and planted her forehooves on her inflated sister's hide and pushed with all of her might, too.  With a slosh, she started rolling.
	“Whooooooah nelly!  BRUUUURP!”  Applejack said, as her head rotated in place on her massive body, the whole world spinning around to her.  With much effort, they rolled their huge, cider-logged sister out the door and into the west orchard.  When they finally rolled her to a stop, she was upside-down, laying on the wide, round, orange expanse that was her back, looking like she was going to be sick, more burps escaping from her, golden bubbles floating from her mouth each time.  Somehow, her hat had remained on her head.  Granny Smith walked over to her and looked down at her head, critically.  Applejack panted and wearily looked downwards, which was up, at Granny Smith.
	“Hhhmmmmm...you know, I thought that it was all the cider in your belly before, but now that Applebloom mentions it...you do look a bit green around the gills...” she said.  Applejack looked up at her with worry, her body sloshing with a start.
	“Y-you think I got heatstroke, Granny Smith?” she asked.
	“Heatstroke, hmmhmmm...well, maybe, maybe...” she said.  “I seen plenty of ponies work
'emselves to heatstroke before.  Ain't recall ever seein' you catchin' it, though, but there's a first time for everythin'.” she said.
	“Well, besides...ugh...” she said, looking down at her huge body before her, “...you think there's really somethin' wrong with me?” she asked.
	“Mmmmm...aaaaah!  Ah-ha ha ha!  IIIII got it!” she said, springing to life with inspiration.  “It's the breathin'!  You just need some help breathin' is all!” she said.
	“Breathin'?” Applejack said, looking confused.  “Uh...Granny Smith, you sure 'bout that?”
	“Appleblooooooom!” she called out.
	“Right here, Granny Smith!” Applebloom said, eager to help.
	“Ah!  There you are.  Here...” she said, shoving an entire hoof into her mouth before bringing them back out with her dentures.  “Holb ontho deesth fler a shleconth.” she said, tossing them carelessly to Applebloom.  She flinched away from them, catching them on the end of one hoof, before tipping them to the other hoof, before tossing them back and forth like they were a hot potato, before gingerly holding them with both hooves as far away from her as she could.
	“Eeeeeeeewwwww...” she said.
	“Nlow.  Ooooooolll' Grammy Smilth'sth golna show ya'll whalt hwe liketh tho call dtha 'kisth o' laaalfe' back inl dthle day.  Nlow, pay atthelntchon.” she said, gripping Applejack's head with both hooves and smacking her lips.
	“Wait!  Granny Smith! I-” she started, but Granny Smith locked lips with her, and Applejack's eyes went wide as her cheeks puffed up, and the cider inside her audibly started bubbling up.  She broke off to take a deep breath.
“Wait!  No, I think you-”
WHOOOOOF-mmmph!
“Granny- BRAAAAP- Smith, I-”
WHOOOOOF-mmmph!
“I don't think you're really helping me I-
WHOOOOOF-mmmph!
	Applejack sputtered and coughed as Granny Smith panted.
	“Ah!  Whah...wherderdah...here'sth I...what'sth'em will'em...” she mumbled, snatching her dentures back from Applebloom and popping them back in her mouth.  “Whoo!  Doggy, I'm getting' too old for this, I tell ya-hwhat.  Big Mac!” she said.  Big Macintosh raised his head ever-so-slightly in acknowledgment.  “Why don't you do your old Granny a favor n resuscitate your sister here?” she asked, patting her hoof against Applejack's inflated body.  Big Macintosh gave a look at Applejack and a look back at her.
	“Eeeeeeyup.” he said, simply.  Applejack panted with her tongue out of her mouth, trying to keep the mass inside of her contained.  Then, she saw her brother's large, red hoof stamp down in her field of vision.  Worried, she followed it up to his face.  He was steeling himself before he opened his mouth and took a big, deep breath, his chest puffing out as he did so.
	“Wait.  Wait, no, Big Macintosh, WAI-” she tried to warn, before he clamped his muzzle down over hers, his eyes shut tight, blowing with all of his considerable might.
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOF!
the breath went, on and on and on.  Applejack's eyes were wide open as her tiny limbs stood straight out.  The cider inside of her violently bubbled and churned, as her massive, round girth began to swell out even more.  She looked down on him in a panic, her cheeks growing, as her body inflated bigger, and bigger, and bigger, her orange hide creaking at the pressure.  Applebloom watched the whole thing nervously, backing away from the two and hiding behind Granny Smith, who stared at the whole thing approvingly.  Some groans escaped Applejack's lips as Big Mac's breath never seemed to end, she just got bigger, and bigger, her belly poking up above the apple trees, her legs getting absorbed by the bulk of her body.  Finally, his head started trembling, his face turning blue, coming to the end of his breath.  Applejack looked down at their mouths and up at him, her eyes getting wider as she suddenly feared what would happen as soon as he let go.  He breathed out...and out...and out...and out...Applejack's body getting huge and taught, until finally...he released her for just a second to get a breath, and she blew a bunch of air in his face.  He flinched out of the way before glaring angrily down at her, but his gaze was met with a look of worry on Applejack's face as her cheeks blew up bigger and bigger, the cider in her bubbling away violently, her hide creaking and groaning.  He stepped back uneasily as she looked at all three of them pleadingly, before shock overcame her face.
BRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!
They were met with a burp on par with an explosion.  It was a burp so large and so deep, that Applejack lost track of where she was for a second.  She looked around groggily, putting a hoof to her tummy.  She rubbed it painfully before she realized she had control of her hooves again.  She looked at both of her forehooves joyfully, and then down at her own body, which had miraculously, suddenly shrunk back down to normal.  She laughed a bit, before she saw a curious sight between her legs: everything.  She looked around to see that she was not, in fact, lying on the ground on her gigantic, inflated body full of cider, but flying through the air.  As soon as this thought had entered her head, her hat flew off of it, but she caught it in a hoof, planting it firmly onto her blonde mane, ruffling in the wind, and keeping it there.
	“Ooooooh, HAYSEEEEEEEEED!” She screamed as she flew uncontrollably through the air, headed straight for ponyville.  She went down, down, down, and was headed straight for a tree.  She broke through the outer layer of leaves, but immediately landed cross-wise on a tree branch, knocking the wind out of her.  She fell backwards, whacking her head on one and taking one in the back, flipping her over, and she proceeded to hit every tree branch on her way down.  She hit the ground belly-first, hard, and grunted, before a long, slow groan left her mouth as her hat slowly floated down like a leaf before resting on her head at an odd angle.  A small burp left her lips, a single golden bubble floating out and drifted up, and up, and up, before popping.