that was a pretty good bday weekend #pastebinmonday

bday stuff:

I turned 28 on friday and took a half day at work. was gonna marathon stream all smrpg categories but then I realized the timing for low level would have made no sense and decided to sleep instead and resume in the morning.

racing any% with mill was fun. i was the only one who ended up finishing, and then i took WR for beat culex on my first completed attempt, lmao. claude and mill are demoing a skip pando route but I think for marathon safety reasons im gonna submit the fight pando route that I tweaked to stuff. mill took WR a few hours later LOL

MotS was disappointing. i could have pbed for free in that category, but I was playing really really off. not only because of tiredness but because I had inadvertently done something unrelated that made a friend uncomfortable, and being upset with myself about that made it hard to keep focus. at least i've gotten better at masking that as a caster. (things are ok on that front now though, nothing to worry about)

the second day was awesome. I spent the whole day playing randomizer with sean and flek and then doing low level with them in the call. can't ask for anything better than a whole day with 2 of my best friends. they both death abused early on and I didnt so I was underleveled which screwed me over later, so I ended up being the only one who didnt finish randomizer. no big deal, I was just happy to have spent time with my friends.

it made sense too because I did low level after that. low level is such an RNG shitshow that the leaderboard for it ranges from 8 to 18 hours, all being people who are already skilled at any%. i got extremely lucky with some first-try wins on fights that are huge time commitments, and my worse RNG came with easy fights right beside a save point. sean stayed with me the whole call up until boomer/exor, it was late and he had to sleep. flek had to leave to go do other stuff but came back right as I was heading into the smithy fight. i finished in under 12 hours which put me in 3rd place. what a trip dude. the category is a grind but I legitimately enjoyed myself. I almost forfeited at boomer/exor to tiredness but decided to roll with it, then I realized I sold the red essence for countdown... luckily having done Equipless and being a Most of the Stuff runner helped me with some backup strats that saved the run.

I did a short stream yesterday and went out for dinner with 11 of my friends. that was awesome. some of these friends I havent seen in a while and it was nice to have that many ppl I love under one roof. there were 6 of us from my discord, that was cool. it was a great time but I was tired having not recovered from finishing low level at 5 am lmao. i came home and called sean while he played ff7 and at one point he went to get pizza and I fell asleep while he was gone, and then I heard him say "ok im back" which scared the shit out of me and I woke up LOL

a lot of ppl wished me well and had nice things to say to me on my bday which made me really happy especially when things have not been so good lately. not much has changed on that front, but I did finally talk to somebody about the thing ive never told anybody. that was a relief but not really bc I still have to live with it. sucks but that's life. i had a complete mental breakdown on tuesday I think it was and had to rely on my best friend to bring me back down to earth... i'm really lucky to have such good friends. im having the realization as I write this that it wasnt any one thing he said or did, but just the sound of my best friend's voice is enough to calm me down even if we're just cracking stupid jokes and watching a stream. that's special.

i got a shitload of donations/bits and almost doubled my sub count over the weekend. holy fuck. i'm at 59 subs right now. that's some good shit for an affiliate. also got a ton of raids from my amazing friends and 200+ new followers, unbelievable. thank you so much everybody. being surrounded by all this love this weekend was something ive really needed. it's hard to find the words for it.

i'm probably gonna go out with my family tonight, I havent seen them in a while. hopefully my mom is feeling up to it, she's been under the weather lately. I miss them.