Thread 101: Stories 46-60

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 OOCO
>AJ
"Chrysalis"
~~~~

>Now Ah' realize that this here fire may seem like an act of aggression, but Ah' assure you that at no point did Ah' try ta' set yer' head on fire, it was all a big misunderstanding.

"If I had a bit for every time I heard that, I could buy Canterlot..."

>No, really, this here fire was totally an accident, and at no point did Ah' wanna set yer' head on fire.

"You keep mentioning that, yet I don't remember it ever going up near my head."

>...Well good, cause it wasn't s'posed to.

"Uh... huh."

>Also, Ah' want to make it clear, any future events that involve fire goin' up ta' yer' head is not an act of aggression, but an accident.

"Now, see, since you said this before it happens, it now sounds premeditation."

>Premeditated.

"STOP MAKING UP WORDS!"

>Well, Ah' mean, ya' actually said the right word, it's just yer' grammar was off.

"STOP MAKING UP GRAMMAR RULES!"

>That... is actually fair, they DO make up unrelated and arbitrary rules sometimes. Ah' agree with you on that.

"...huh. Well, that's a nice feeling. Very vindicating! Yep. I feel vindicating."

FWOOSH!

"GAH!... WHAT THE FUCK, APPLEJACK!?"

>Ya' actually meant vindicated. Ah' know, Ah' know, but grammar is important ta' anyone without a life.

"I meant the fucking fire!"

>Oh, that... total accident.

"Why do you keep-... Oh for fucks sake!"

>Accident.

"I forgot I was wearing the damn farmer hat, okay!? It was just a roleplay bid! It didn't even work! This isn't about you, it was seeing if he had a farmmare fantasy! That's all!"

>Oh...

"..."

>...Was still an accident, and Ah'm stickin' to it.

"FOR FUCKS SAKE! You can't just cover up everything with it's an accident!"

>Sure ya' can.

"WHAT!?"

>...Ya' gonna take off the-

POW!

>MAH DANG EYE!

"Accident! I was just trying to hoof you the hat, WHOOPS!"

>...Brought that on mah'self.

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
[Luna]
{Rarity}
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night/pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter and Rarity...is sitting on my toilet.

{No...I'm not on a toilet. This is clearly a throne.}

"...nope that's a toilet all right. I have one similar at my castle. Do you know the same toilet maker, Pinkie?"

'Is this why you've been using sexdolls to fight us? You were on a toilet?'

{Fine yes, it's a toilet. SOMEPONY shoved an enema up my behind!}
They snicker.
{Stop laughing! You're all going to-}

>I can't wait to air this!

{...what?}

>There are cameras all over the dreamhouse. They're transmitted and instantly edited. The newest thing in dream video marketing, instant videos. They're out before the adventure is even finished.

{You mean everypony is going to see me...}

>Yup.

"Gross."

'Embarrassing.'

[...Could be worse. I've seen some *CENSORED*.]

{No...THIS IS TERRIBLE! I CAN NEVER SHOW MY FACE AGAIN!}

>But this gives you screen time.

{Not like this. I'm just going to be seen as a cheap...trollop! *sobs* My life is ruined! I might as well just die!}

[That makes things easier.]
Lifts hammer.

>Maybe it doesn't have to come to that.

"No she's right. I'd die of embarrassment."

'Just kill yourself. I want to wake up.'

>(speech)Hold on, people think it's Rarity. You don't have to be Rarity. Just go back to being cardboard Rarity and you wouldn't have to face the consequences of being publicly humiliated. I can put you in my show if you want.

"The shame!"

'Kill yourself, Rarity.'

[Can I break you now?]

{...you know what? This isn't worth canon screen time.}
They blink and Cardboard Rarity appears. The real Rarity turns to normal looking dazed. They look back at CRarity to see she moved and soaking up the water from the wet floor. Another blink and she's collapsed on the floor soaking wet. Rarity walks up with a box cutter and slashes her.
{...let us never speak of this.}

>...anti-climactic.

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 >AJ
"Sunset"
'Guards'
[Changelings]
~~

"So, it's pretty much just been this?"

>Preeettty much just been this.

'Look, we're TRYING to make you not sound scary, can you meet us halfway?'

[We're not doing anything scary!]

[HEE HEE! Come back mister butterfly!]

'...'

[She's just trying to play with it!]

'She's a spider.'



'Why would you do that?'

[Great Great Great Grand Momma did it so she could be scary.]

'...'

[Erm... uh...]

'See what we mean?'

[Look, dude, no stallion can keep a ling down!... Unless you're Fourteen.]

[OH FUCK YOU!]

[Oh, shit, you're one of the guys who joined up?... Whoops!]

[How did you not notice!?]

[...Oh hivemind we do all look the same...]

[MY LIFE IS A LIE!]

'And we have set off an existential crisis. Fantastic.'

[AHHHHHHH!]

"...And you want to put these things IN SOCIETY. That's the plan. That's the plan you have. Take these things, and say "Hey! I want you IN PUBLIC now!" This is plan A."

>Actually, we're probably at, like... I'mma say, V, or X, dependin'.

"What's plan Z?"

>Same as it is for all of Equestria.

"And that is?"

>...

"...That portal still works, right?"

>Ya' won't find out in time.

"...eeee...."

[MY LIFE IS A LIEEEEEE!]

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>42
"Spitfire"
'???'
~~

>...I'm legitimately worried they're retarded.

"HEY!"

>No, hush, I'm allowed to wonder this, this is a real concern.

"They're not THAT bad!"

>Aren't they? Are they really not?

"..."

>HOW!?

"They just don't get much chances to fly, that's all! Most pegasi live in clouds when they're kids for fucks sake, but these guys if they go up too high risk freezing to death."

>They could fly to castle height.

"And do what? What's up there for them? Everyone they want to talk to is down here, and there's no clouds to mess with up there."

>...Huh.

"This is what happens when you isolate yourself in the middle of the frozen fucking tundra!"

>I too have pointed out many a time the poor choices made here.

"But no, they're not retarded."

>Well, that's good to hear. Not sure if I believe it, but I like hearing it.

"If it's that big an issue, try punching it. According to you, that fixes mental issues."

>...

PUNCH!

"OW!"

>Did it work?

"I think you broke my jaw!"

>It doesn't sound like it worked.

"WHY YOU LITTLE!"

TACKLE!

>OH SO IT'S LIKE THAT, IS IT!?

BAM!

'...Is this a bad time to ask what our next training assignment is?'

>"BRING IT OOOOOOONNNNNNN!"

'...That's a yes?'

BOOM!

'That's a yes.'

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>SA
"???"
~~~

The bubbles had betrayed him.

For once, no amount of delightful hottub bubbles had soothed his worry. His greatest ally, the bubble, had failed him.

All was lost.

"Well, that is not the face I expected to see on you in such a delightful thing such as this."

He didn't even bother to crack an eye open. Even if she had not spoken a word, he would have instantly known the one who joined him by the sheer displacement of water alone. There was exactly two beings big enough to make said water rise from his neck to his chin, and only one of them was this... 'buoyant.'

>Hmmm. Hey, Celly.

Likewise, even without a single slit of sight, he could tell she had raised her eyebrow.

"Well, I certainly didn't expect you to jump up in joy at my presence, but I expected something."

>Sorry, just... distracted.

"I can tell that."

He heard her move towards him, invisioning in his mind how her hair looked when she swam through the water. Like a boat with tye-dye fuel had been ruptured.

"What's wrong?"

>...It's this Eighteen thing... again.

"Oh my, and things were just looking up, weren't they?"

>That's the problem. They're going really, really well, but I feel like I'm mentally blocking myself from actually enjoying it. You know I cuddled her this morning?

"Well, I'm sure she appreciated that."

He felt her swim by, tiny little waves tickling his chest once more as her mass shifted the waters all around.

>Oh, she did, and you know what? At first, I got her mixed up with Cadence-

"A recurring theme, I've noticed."

>-but even after I realized it was her?... Wasn't a deal breaker.

"Ohhh?"

>I'm dead serious, not a deal breaker. I was still... you know, still interested. I was! She's attractive! And she's so loyal and understanding and... ahhhh, I don't need to say it all again. What can I say, I find her attractive, and even though I'm saying this it still sounds... like I shouldn't.

"Because, of course, the mere idea that you be attracted to more than one individual is just absurd. Don't you know that ring is supposed to be a magical band that makes you unable to find anyone other than your wife arousing?"

>Said every cheater ever.

"Oh no, said every sane individual ever. Every cheater ever adds on the addendum "So that makes me just acting on it without you knowing okay." You on the other hoof, have a bit of a different situation, no?"

>...That's the other problem. I have no excuses not to just go for it, but...

"But, as always, you're worried. Or thinking about how things were or should be, or any other myriad of problems, no?"

>That's the short of it.

"Shining... what you should be asking yourself is, how do you feel? You, not them."

>I know how I feel, I've come to terms with that a long time ago. I didn't mean for it to happen or develop,, but it did. I can't stop how I feel, but... I'm worried.

He heard the water break, the slight tapping of hooves against the edge of the hot tub, and he felt as water began to drip down onto his face.

At last, he opened his eyes, and met with her own wide, concerned ones. Their two faces concealed from all the world by the curtain of her hair, as if granting privacy even in the open room.

"Shiny... I'm worried too."

>He blinked, partially from the water dripping onto his face partially from the confusion of her words.

>Worried about what?

"About you. I'm worried, because you just keep stopping yourself from being happy. There's nothing stopping you but you, and you just don't seem to want to let yourself be happy."

>It's a little more complicated than that.

"Of course it is, you knew full well that this was going to be complicated when it started. You knew not kicking Chrysalis out to the curb when I sent her over here was going to be complicated, you knew letting a changeling train your army was going to be complicated, you knew letting eighteen touch confidential paperwork was going to be complicated... and you knew that adopting a tiny little thing into your life was going to be so, so complicated. You knew this, but you didn't let it stop you. You didn't let it keep you from being happy, Shiny. You went with it, you did not fear the flow of it, and I got to watch you go from being a sad soul to... who you were supposed to be."

>...this is different.

"Of course it is... of course it is. But a different plain with different rules does not make the fight atop it any less worthwhile. You should know this, solider."

>...I'm just really worried about her.

"Shining, she is a grown mare who is married to you. She has sworn to share her life, her everything, with you, and you her. You did your part when you shared what had been growing in your heart, you remained stalwart despite that, and she said that she would accept it. If she does have a problem, you have told her speak it freely and you will not judge her. If she said she did, you would go from there. But she remains as she said the first time. Be worried, fine... but don't think for her, Shining. She can speak for herself."

His eyes rolled to the side, suddenly heavy, unable to look up to hers any longer.

>...You don't need to, you know.

A slim, white hoof touched his cheek, ever so slightly pushing him to return his gaze to hers.

"Shining... you deserve to be happy."

He felt a lump well in his throat at the sincerity of her words, the honest way she spoke every single letter. Even now, he wondered if that time they had spent fighting had all been a horrible nightmare.

His limbs arose from the water, wrapping themselves around a long, swan like neck and pulling her in close. She allowed it, offered no resistance as he brought her cheek to his, and he embraced her, letting her wistfully waving hair tickle his face and neck as it covered him.

>...I'm not sure of that sometimes... but if you say it, I'll believe you.

"Will you?"

>...I'll always believe in you.

Her own grip tightened around him, not hard, never enough to use her powerful limbs to ever bring him harm, but enough for him to know. To know the words unspoken.

She knew that he did.

Even if it was but a mere baby step, the first step had been taken.

>Celestia... you deserve to be happy too, you know.

"Oh, you silly thing..."

Ever so slightly, their grips tightened in tandem.

"How could I be anything else at a time like this?"

They each had sought the other's happiness.

They succeeded.

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>Rarity
"Cadence"
~~~

"This looks like fun."

The groan that came from the shorter princess could have muffled a bomb going off with it's sound. Tiredly, she laid her head to the fancy table of the restaurant the two shared their tea at, ruffling the papers she had brought along to do while they talked.

>If your intention is mockery, may I direct you to the nearest cliffside and advise you to forget that you are in the possession of wings.

"Don't be silly, if anything I'd forget I had a horn. I used to be a pegasus after all!"

>Really, I'd forget that if you didn't keep reminding me, I never see you fly.

"Ehhh, castle is a bit stuffy, not much wing room. I'm stiff all the time."

>Well, at least you have a husband to 'loosen you up'.

"Oh yeah! He gives amazing wing massages, you don't even know."

>Oh? Eager to put his hooves on your back, is he?

"Yep! I think he likes it."

The white princess suddenly found all her previous worries gone away, and an eagerness unlike before took her over. She shuffled to the edge of her seat, waiting for the next juicy tidbit to come.

The silence that dragged on told her everything.

>You're being honest, aren't you?

"Why wouldn't I be?"

As did the completely sincere confusion on the elder princesses face.

>Darling... may I ask you an... a-hem, personal question? Mare to mare?

"Oh, uh... sure!"

>When was the last time you and Shining...

"...yes?"

Subtly, two white hooves began to tap together.

When that didn't work, she moved on to more furious tapping, and waggling of the eyebrows to accompany it.

When that, also, didn't work, she finally moved on to not-so-subtly slamming the tip of her hoof into the crook of the other one and making noises to go along with it.

All the while, she was gifted with nothing but an empty, vacant stare.

This went on for troublingly long before she gave up, rolled her eyes, and decided all pretenses could just go out the window.

>...When is the last time you and Shining slept together, is my question.

"Oh!... Been a while."

Simply put, and even simpler, empty silence to join it.

This was going to be one of those talks.

>Is there an... issue?

"Hm?... Oh, nope! No issues."

>Is he... just not all that impressive and you're too kind to point it out?

"Impressive?... oh... OHH! Oh! Oh ho hoo, nooo... he's uh, he's not lacking in that department. Just... eh?"

She knew it was fruitless to hope for more than an 'eh' from her, but she waited all the same.

She wasn't disappointed in at least one area.

>Well, then is it something else? Really for someone in your position I would think that-

"Are we really going to try to talk about my sex life? No offense, Rarity, but you sound like those guys that just assume I have to be banging them out left and right because of my title. I'm the princess of love, not lust."

It seems she had struck a nerve there.

Best not to press it any harder.

>Oh, of course I didn't mean to imply that-

"Well, you did, just like all of them do. It's... annoying."

>Well I only bring it up because of recent... developments. Don't you ever wonder if it's this... 'lacking' that he began to have a bit of a wandering eye.

It seemed she had wildly underestimated what constituted 'striking a nerve' before.

If she thought there had been offense before, it was nothing compared to what crossed the taller princess's face now.

>Oh... oh my, it seems that I-

"Rarity?"

Hearing the voice of the normally bubbly and bright princess go low was far, far more chilling than the other would have ever imagined it could be.

What came next was somehow even worse.

"If you have insecurities about the fact Spike's eye has been 'wandering' over to Applejack, do come out and say it straight. Don't go roundabout by implying the same thing with me to overcome it. I understand, we're in similar situations. You, like me, were the first one, the one who caught their eye first and hardest, and wouldn't let go. But then things changed, and he began to feel something for someone else, and you didn't know what to do. What's worse, you care about the one he's wandered onto as well, just as much. So, of course, you fear that this was somehow your fault. Should I have been more open? More forwards? Done something to 'bring him back' before he strayed too far? So much like that. You're wondering if I have an explanation, maybe you can get to the root of your own problem as well."

Smoothly, the princess rose from her seat, moving away with grace and poise.

"I'm sorry, but I can't offer you answers on that. It's not that with me, I know it... I don't know what it is, but that's not what happened with me. It's something... else. Love can be the most powerful force in the universe, Rarity, but sometimes it's... unpredictable. I don't know what happened with you."

With a gracious movement, she made her way around the table, stopping only to whisper just as she reached her closest to the shellshocked, gaping mare.

"I know Shiny and I were meant to be, and we were meant to be forever... I'm afraid I couldn't tell you if it was meant to be with Spike, or if it was the love that burns brightly, then burns out. Maybe he did move on, maybe not. I can't tell you that."

She paused, her eyes instinctively trailing over to the direction her Empire lied. For a second, they glimmered warmly.

In the next, they turned into something else entirely.

"... But I can tell you this. Regardless, you need to say something, before it's too late. If it gets too strong, and then you make your move just to make them decide... you're a monster. To use love as a weapon against those you care about is... disgusting. And I'd never forgive you."

That was it. That chilling speech, those terrible words, and then she was gone.

Leaving alone nothing but a shaking, gaping, wide eyed mare, with her heart beating a thousand miles an hour.

>...I just wanted to suggest some ways to spice up the bedroom...

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OOCO
>SA
"Celestia"
'Chrysalis'
[AJ]
~~

>Now, hold up... where did you get piranhas?

[That's yer' question!? That's really what jumps out at you about this! That is seriously the thing that makes ya' stop and go' "Hey wait a minute, this don't seem quite right!" THAT!?]

>Piranhas are rare.

[IT'S A DANG OBSTACLE COURSE! How did she build that!?]

'Carefully.'

[That just raises further questions!]

"Really? It feels like it answers all but one of the important ones to me."

[...Wait, all but one?]

"Of course! The most important question is... who's going first-NOTIT"

>Not it!
'Not it!'

[...Wait what now!?]

'HAH! Have fun, AJ!'

[Ah'm not doin' that! That's stupid!]

'BAWWWKBAWKBAWKABAWK!'

[Wow. Yer' gonna go there?]

"BAWWWKBAWKBAWKBAWK"

[Now Ah' expected it from her, but that's just-]

>BAAAWWKKBAKWBAWKBAWK!

[FINE! Ya' know what?! FINE! Ah'm not a chicken! Watch me! Ya'll ain't got NOTHIN' ON ME-

~~~

[AH' HAVE REGREETTTSSS!]

>Ooooo~, that did not go well.

'We're deducting points by the bite, right?'

"I think tripping on the flamethrower is the bigger penalty."

'And yet... I feel like she's won regardless.'

"You know, I'm starting to think you're right."

>This seems dumb now.

"Yeah, what were we thinking?"

'Hey, Appleass? I can't believe I'm saying this but... sigh... I admit defeat, you win. You won!'

>That's good sportsmareship, Chrysalis.

"Bravo!"

[OH FUCK YOU!]

'No need to brag! I said you won!'

>Very poor sportsmareship.

"Tsk, tsk."

[FUCK YA'LL!]

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>Chrysalis
~~~

It was cold.

Not that a frozen tundra was known for being anything else, of course. But to her, even with her power burning inside, it was quite cold. She knew it was silly to think this, anyone would find chill in the dark in the middle of one of the many blizzards that seemed an everyday occurrence to this land, but she dwelt upon it all the same.

For if she was cold, how would her subjects feel?

The wind tossed her hair this way and that as she looked out to the barren wasteland. So much empty space, so much free land for anyone to claim if they so chose. Who would argue? It was not like a single scarp of it was usable. It was cold, it was dead, it was empty. The only place that gave life was the heart that still beat in the middle of a corpse of a land.

A heart that just wasn't big enough.

Her breath left her in waves of steam, tickling her nose as it was pushed away by the barren storm. She could not hold it in as she thought back to where she had been but a few minutes ago.

In the stadium, counting available spots for changelings. Calculating exactly how much space she had to work with for her coming plan.

It wasn't enough.

It wasn't nearly enough.

It wasn't enough or a one, a single, an individual. It wasn't nearly close to the barest basics of 'enough'. One Queen with a decent sized brood would break it.

The ballroom back in Canterlot was much the same. For a group of under a hundred, it was livable. It was doable. It could be done. For a massive Hive...

It wasn't even close.

More breath, more steam left her as her head whipped back and forth. There was so much room out here... but they couldn't live in it. There was so much land out here, but they could not take it. There was so much...

But she wanted none of it.

The power she sought was at last in her grasp, and like life sustaining water rolling through the holes in her hooves, she just could not get a grasp on it. She could at last have a hive to rule over, a country, a kingdom, a true race to be known and respected!

But she would have to give up so much.

If she indeed did create a new Queen, if indeed a new hive was to be made, if indeed there was to be rule, she would have to rule it.

But it could not be here. It could not be in Canterlot. It could not be in the barren snow.

For the very first time in her life, a choice was presented to the Queen. For the very first time, she had the opportunity to take everything her mother had promised. She could at last have all she desired. Perhaps one day, she could have it all indeed. She could be not the last Queen, but the greatest Queen, the eternal Queen, the one to rule over all Queens who would come after, and forever more. She would be the one who stood above all, for all of time.

She could have it all.

But for the first time in her life, her heart had betrayed her.

For the first time in her life, she thought of the power... but her mind was swarmed as well with thoughts of other things, as well as what she would have to give up.

For the very first time in her life... Queen Chrysalis knew what it was to hate what she was, and the choices she must make.

For the very first time in her life, her lips felt like ice, and her words betrayed that which she had wanted so much to keep done.

For the first time in her life, she admitted to herself what she felt inside.

>...I don't want to go...

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OMAKE!
>Chrysalis
"???"
~~~

>...I don't want to go...

"HEY!"

>GAH!

"I"m the only one around here doing dr who references, thank you!"

>YOU'RE NOT EVEN A FUCKING CHARACTER HERE!

"Still!"

>Get outta here you limey bastard!

"I'm watching you!"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OMAKE!
>Spike
"AJ"
~~

>Alright, after a year of searching, all the resources I can muster, and a lifetime worth of work, I finally know who tried to shoot you!

"...Blueblood? It was Blueblood, wasn't it? Don't... don't we know this? Ah' feel like we know this."

>NO! That's what he wanted you to think.

"Who, Blueblood? Yeah, he did, made it pretty well known-"

>NO! Not him... the one behind THIS DOOR!

"...this... this is in mah office. How long has this been in mah office!?"

>From the start, Applejack, from the start! Hidden behind this potted plant!

"HOW DID AH' NOT NOTICE THAT!?"

>You didn't want to see it, AJ.. you couldn't understand the truth.

"Ah'm suddenly very confused."

>It'll all make sense when I open this door.... prepare yourself.

HISSS

"...w-what..."

>...So... this was all your doing? It was you all along.

He collapsed to his knees, unable to keep looking at the secret room filled with computers, monitors and switches any longer. He looked down in despair.

Right before Winona ran up to him and started licking his face, her headset nearly falling off.

"...Ah'm out."

BLAM!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Spike
"DT"
'Rarity'
~~~~
Spike stands in front of a mirror spinning and twirling Charity before holstering her.
>Okay, time for work.

DT gives an eyebrow raise as she installs a mouthpiece on TBDRLIATU
"...has anypony told you you work too much?"

Spike glances at a big bullet made of bullets.
>Has anypony told you you have too much time on your hooves?

"I can have hobbies! Do you still even remember how to use your gun, or are you too busy pushing the quill?

>What? Of course I do. I stay in practice and always prepared for action.

"Well, I'm constantly tweaking with Sexy, ready for the next big thing, so that's important too don't you think? By the way, Applejack's not letting me do anything about that giant flaming mouth thing. What's up with that? She's blue balling me, Spike. If I had balls right now, they'd be bluer than your balls."

He rolls his baoding balls.
>Leave my balls out of this. We shouldn't do anything until it actually does something threatening, so until then don't attack it.

"Fine, but I'm ready when it decides to rampage. Your pea-shooter ain't got nothing on TBDRLIATU here."

>...if you recall, I did beat you in a fight before and I've been making my own mods for Charity.

She makes a scrunchy face.
"...oh yeah, but can you make her sing?"

Rarity's voice come from Charity.
'Of course I can sing. Better than your rocket launcher that's for sure.'

>Wait what?

"Prove it! It's Saxxy time."
TBDRLITU transforms slightly and DT makes a jazzy saxophone-like sound from him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKpaTLMefiU
'When the Jazzmare's testifyin'
A faithless mare believes
She can sing you into paradise
Or bring you to your knees.

Jazzmare, take my blues away
Make my pain the same as yours
With every change you play
Jazzmare, oh, Jazzmare~'
DT puts on sunglasses and goes into a solo.

>...

'...don't give me that look. I couldn't just let her show us up. Also, it didn't technically sing, so we won.'

>...let's go.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >AJ
"???"
~~~

>Oh, ya' sinful little thing... ya' dirty little treat you... nobody can ever know.

She breathed in deep, the tangy scent filling her nostrils.

>Ohhh, ohh Ah' missed you... this here, this is a taste Ah' just can't get enough of... but nobody can ever know.

The sensation filled her mouth as she took it in slowly, deeply, savoring every inch of the tough skin above the soft innards.

>Nobody can ever know Ah' love the taste o' you... what would mah' family think? They'd look at me funny every single day... Applebloom would never be the same... but dang it, Ah' love it so much.

She closed down her mouth over the sinful little thing, and her taste buds were awash with flavor.

The flavor... of Orange.

>No one can ever know... Ah' can't get enough Orange in my diet-

"Applejack! I can hear you in there!"

>D-DON'T COME IN, SPIKE! WHATEVER YA' DO DON'T COME IN!

"I'm not! I just wanted to tell you we don't care if you eat oranges! Nobody is going to look at you funny!"

>...

"Just make sure to clean the citrus off your face before you come out next time! Ugh... swear, you are such a silly pony and rabblegrabblegrumblegrum..."

>..............................

'Is he gone?'
>Yep, he's gone.
'Good, now where were we?'
>Right here... uncle Orange. Nom!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Omake
>SA
"18"
~~

>...I kind of wonder what would've happened if I kept going.

"You'd get laid."

>What would've been the ramifications?

"You, Shining Armor, would get a slice."

>Would things have changed for the better?... Or the worse?

"You'd get you some honey. Tap it. Hit. Wreck it. Hammer it home. Plow the fields. Conquer new lands. Invade new territory. Erupt. Blow your load. Give up the baby batter."

>...Or would they have stayed the same?

"YOU WOULD'VE GIVEN ME THE D!"

>...Yeah, you're right, I'm overthinking this.

"GAHHHHHHH!"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Omake
>Sunset
‘AJ’

>Soo….who’s the guard?

‘Oh that? That there’s Quicksilver.

>…They’re pretty.

‘Uh…yeah, yeah I guess he’s ‘bout the prettiest stallion I ever run across…there a reason for this line o’ inquiry?

>A pretty stallion huh? Hmm…excuse me I need to go…requisition some services~

‘O….k? Wait a sec’ how’re you gonna requisition anything?

>By your authority of course, I am your student after all.

‘Right! I guess that can work. So, what d’ya need him for anywa-…’

‘SUNSET NO! YOU DO NOT USE MY AUTHORITY TO REQUISITION BOOTY CALLS! SUNSET!? SUNSET! GIT BACK HERE DANGIT!’

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OMAKE
>SA
"???"
~~~

>...She knows what she's doing... doing it just to tease me... this shower is so cold...

As if to agree with him the door to the room opened with a SLAM!

Just barely, through the fog of the shower glass, he could make out someone walking inside. Someone very unexpected.

>...what... what in the...

"Hello, Shining Armor."

>...hello? Uh, nice to see you again.

"The same to you."

>What, ahhh, why are you in Applejack's bathroom? I'm kind of... using it.

"I know. That is why I am here."

>...Beg pardon?

"You have an issue."

>No kidding.

"I have an issue as well."

>Sorry to hear that?

"I have heard that our issues have means to be mutually resolved."

>...I'm... I'm sorry?

Smoothly, the door to the shower opened, and the other stepped inside.

He reared back, his back to the shower wall as she stalked closer, an deadly look in her eye. Though he shook, fear did nothing to his 'sword', which remained as iron solid as ever.

>What... what do you want?

She reared up, mashing her chest to his, and placing two hooves on either side of his head.

"...I require screentime."

>You know... I could just get you some, we don't have to do this part. I didn't with Discord last thread, he still got stories.

"I know."

>Oh... then why?

She leaned in, her breath hot on his ear as she whispered.

>Because I want to rock your world.

"...You did not just say thaaaAAAAT!"

Her head had left his ear, finding a much better place to reside.

>Oh! Ohhhh screw it! You win!"

He lurched forwards, tackling the willing other off him and to the floor, ready and willing... not that he could tell.

>By the way, Maud? One more joke like that, and you're not getting seen for another ten threads.

"My heart is crumbling."

>...

"..."

>...Bluff called.

"You may begin now."

>Are you going to talk in that monotone the whole time during?

"Yes."

>...Good. NGH!

"Oh baby. Oh baby. Oh baby."

>W-why is that so hot...

"Oh baby. Break my boulders."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________