Ok, I'm over it. I am not going to fight with you about anything, I'm just going to say my piece and be done with it so that I don't explode into some crazy lunatic later.

I know you're around. Accident or not, you sent ME a message. Being the overthinker that I am, I wanted to see if you were online... Imagine my shock when I saw that you were. And with who? None other than the lying bitch who said I threatened her and I had never been anywhere near her.

I refuse to feel like I am competing with anyone. So, if that's what you want, go ahead. I'm too grown for games.

CenturionToday at 1:59 PM
Brandi
I went into my room and passed out. I woke up this morning and she was in there.
She must have seen me in there and figured I was awake
I'll even send you the chat log
But now I see your apology last week meant nothing as you did the same thing again just now
So thanks for that

CenturionToday at 4:59 PM
And poof

LiseToday at 5:22 PM
As I said, I am not going to fight with you over it. If that is what you want, I will not stand in your way.

CenturionToday at 5:23 PM
did you not read what I just said?
I was asleep and I've been on campus alldnay

LiseToday at 5:27 PM
I am sick, and I am tired.
And I'm angry.
No, angry isn't quite the word... Livid? Furious? Maybe sprinkle in some frustrated.
Want to understand why?
No. No, of course not. Because you didn't do anything.
I'm going to stop and just head to bed. I said I wasn't going to fight with you and I don't feel well enough for this.
But I get it. I totally get it.

CenturionToday at 5:31 PM
Lol why?
I haven't done anything
I parked in my room last night and today
If someone goes there when I'm not home, I'm can't see or speak to them
I park in my rooms constantly

LiseToday at 5:34 PM
Also, do you keep trying to log into my imvu account?

CenturionToday at 5:35 PM
No I don't even know your password
Plus why would I? I don't care about who you hang out with on IMVU

LiseToday at 5:35 PM
Funny... It won't let me log in because there were "too many attempts". I've been logged out for hours. :/

CenturionToday at 5:35 PM
I'm not controlling
lol
Really gonna accuse me of that

LiseToday at 5:36 PM
Idk, might be that snake you keep around :person_tipping_hand:

CenturionToday at 5:36 PM
Who?

LiseToday at 5:37 PM
Srsly?

CenturionToday at 5:37 PM
Yes seriously

LiseToday at 5:38 PM
The entire reason I am mad at you!

CenturionToday at 5:38 PM
You shouldn't be mad at me!
I've done nothing!
I've been on campus all day!

LiseToday at 5:38 PM
It had nothing to do with you hanging out with someone else. But that this SOMEONE LIED ON ME AND YOU STILL FUCKING HAVE HER AROUND.

CenturionToday at 5:39 PM
And I was asleep when she came in there yesterday!

LiseToday at 5:39 PM
That is why I am fucking pissed.

CenturionToday at 5:39 PM
She didnt accuse you of anything. I was venting to her about YOU the last time you started this shit and she didn't want to be around me for the fear of you doing THIS
The way she worded it seemed like you already did, but she said you didn't
Because you are CONTROLLING
And you have no self control
You IMMEDIATELY assume the worst and panic

LiseToday at 5:41 PM
Gee, you're one to fucking talk about self control.

CenturionToday at 5:41 PM
And you throw all of the blame on ME
Someone who hasn't done ANYTHING
You're really bringing my anger issues up
Something that has nothing to do with this
All right

LiseToday at 5:42 PM
No, no hun. YOU throw blame on me. Every single time I get upset. You try the best that you can to make me feel bad for even being upset, worried, anxious. You want me to trust you... Tell me HOW?

CenturionToday at 5:43 PM
lol
That is right there.
Brandi is always the victim

LiseToday at 5:44 PM
And don't throw fucking stones if you don't want them thrown back at you.

CenturionToday at 5:44 PM
Always

LiseToday at 5:44 PM
Ok, Trace.

CenturionToday at 5:44 PM
I am busy on campus and you shit on me for doing nothing

LiseToday at 5:46 PM
It wasn't nothing. Instead of clarifying an issue that was clearly had, nothing was said and here I was with the knowledge that my supposed boyfriend didn't give a fuck about how I might've felt. Communication between the two of us SUCKS. And it didn't use to.

CenturionToday at 5:46 PM
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
I can't hang out with my friends without telling you?
Even when I am asleep

LiseToday at 5:46 PM
If you're miserable, if you think I am "controlling" then what the fuck are we even doing?

CenturionToday at 5:46 PM
or not even home

LiseToday at 5:46 PM
No.
You seem to be missing the point.

CenturionToday at 5:47 PM
Having her around isn't even an issue
You don't even know each other
You overthink, as usual, and you panic.
Which leads to anger
Which you blame me for directly.
Plus, if it was still issue, you would have spoken to me more about it.
YOU dropped it

LiseToday at 5:48 PM
The issue was that you'd all but hinted that she'd said I threatened her when I hadn't. No clarification. You said "I'll take care of this" and that was it.
That's why I dropped it.

CenturionToday at 5:49 PM
Then why do you still care? I took care of it. It was a non issue.
Plus, don't try to shift shit. You were mad because I was in there alone with her.

LiseToday at 5:49 PM
Because in my mind you were still hanging around someone who lied on me.
Ok, Trace.

CenturionToday at 5:50 PM
When I told you that I wasn't even home/asleep, you suddenly shifted it to her being around in general.
Hence, "I don't want to be competing with anyone"
Your words.
I am not stupid.
I can see right through it.
It was never about having her around
It was the worry about me going for another girl.
Don't bullshit me.
So you lash out at me with 0 evidence

LiseToday at 5:52 PM
You know what. I can't believe I am doing this. Or arguing over another person. That's fine. Keep her, I'm done. I'm over it. And I am so much better than this bullshit.

CenturionToday at 5:52 PM
LOL are you serious!?
Keep who? Someone I met like 3 weeks ago?

LiseToday at 5:52 PM
I don't want to fight with you.
I said that to start with and it's why I stayed silent for several hours.

CenturionToday at 5:53 PM
I am laughing at the 'Keep her' statemet.
Holy shit.

LiseToday at 5:54 PM
I will keep my controlling ass to myself. Problem solved.

CenturionToday at 5:54 PM
I don't even know her that well.
And so be it.

LiseToday at 5:55 PM
If that's what you want to do.

CenturionToday at 5:55 PM
I won't toleratethis

LiseToday at 5:55 PM
Ok.

CenturionToday at 5:56 PM
And it will never change

LiseToday at 5:56 PM
What won't?

CenturionToday at 5:56 PM
Week later after apologizing and you're back at it

LiseToday at 5:57 PM
You don't understand the kind of crippling anxiety of giving your heart to someone and having it brutally butchered by someone you thought you could trust.

CenturionToday at 5:57 PM
I don't understand?
LOL.

LiseToday at 5:57 PM
No.
You don't.

CenturionToday at 5:57 PM
Now THAT is funny.

LiseToday at 5:57 PM
You may live with anxiety and depression. But not where love is concerned.
If that were the case then nearly 2 fucking years wouldn't be going down the drain right now.

CenturionToday at 5:58 PM
Remember my ex Lynn, who I thought was gonna marry me? But in the end, took my money and used me as an ATM?
Yeah
You're always the victim
you have it the worst
no one understands your pain
that mentality is keeping you in that bubble

LiseToday at 5:59 PM
You don't. And you never will.

CenturionToday at 5:59 PM
Wo.
wow.
Okay we're done here.
You are incapable of listening. You are unteachable.

LiseToday at 5:59 PM
See? It's that easy for you.

CenturionToday at 5:59 PM
You don't listen to reason.
Easy?
Ok buddy

LiseToday at 6:00 PM
How are you being reasonable? Please explain.

CenturionToday at 6:01 PM
I am telling you everything that has happened.. Which is nothing. I provide objective information, which you ignore and toss aside for your victim mentality.
Instead of seeing the bigger picture, you cannot leave the "worst case scenario is 100%' bubble.
You only think about yourself.
I don't understand having the heart butchered after loving someone?
Are you kidding?
What an incredibly horrible thing to say.
Why don't you ask Asia if I don't understand
she'll have plenty to tell you about Lynn

LiseToday at 6:03 PM
Because it happened, Trace. It fucking happened. And I am TERRIFIED of it happening again. Of just being tolerated until something better comes along.

CenturionToday at 6:03 PM
And it did fucking happen to me.

LiseToday at 6:05 PM
So, I'm scared. I am scared... Of you being just like everybody else.
And I'm crazy when I give a fuck because I'm scared.

CenturionToday at 6:06 PM
That's not an excuse.

LiseToday at 6:06 PM
No. It isn't.

CenturionToday at 6:06 PM
You can't exuse this behavior like that.
I won't tolerate it.
I won't

LiseToday at 6:07 PM
But how do I even talk to you about it when you get so defensive about it? How do I tell you how I am feeling without you getting upset?

CenturionToday at 6:07 PM
BECAUSE YOU ATTACK ME
WITH ACCUSATIONS
AND SLANDER
OBVIOUSLY

LiseToday at 6:08 PM
Yes. In anger born from fear, I say shit.

CenturionToday at 6:08 PM
Instead of asking to talk about it, you send me horrible messages
and you tell me to 'keep her'
and you wont 'compete'
fucking garbage
Drives me NUTS

LiseToday at 6:08 PM
I'm sorry.

CenturionToday at 6:08 PM
Like last week, right?

LiseToday at 6:09 PM
...no

CenturionToday at 6:09 PM
See
How can I trust you
How do I know you wont do this again next week
or the next week
and the week after that

LiseToday at 6:09 PM
But don't you see that's my problem, too?
Trust.

CenturionToday at 6:09 PM
Brandi
that's not an excuse anymore.
You've been with me for 2 years
if trust is STILL a problem after 2 years, it will be a problem forever.

LiseToday at 6:11 PM
It has NEVER been an excuse. I have spent my entire life being lied to, let down, given up on, walked out on, not good enough, not in the plans...
I hate living with that kind of anxiety in my stomach.
I hate the panic attacks and the inability to sleep.
It has never been YOU. It has always been fear. And self doubt.

CenturionToday at 6:13 PM
Why are you lying to me? You literally just implied that I was with another girl
Accusing me of looking for another woman
Not 4 hours ago

LiseToday at 6:13 PM
I am not lying, Trace. I'm trying to tell you where this is coming from.
The ROOT of the fucking problem.
Why I say the things I say.

CenturionToday at 6:14 PM
Again, not an excuse.
When I have anger outbursts, I don't say 'woops, can't blame me cause anger is the root!"

LiseToday at 6:14 PM
No. You just go silent.

CenturionToday at 6:15 PM
Yeah, because if I don't, it keeps going.
And I get destructive
But that holds no relevance here.

LiseToday at 6:15 PM
So, that's pretty much the same thing. Self-sabotage.

CenturionToday at 6:15 PM
It's not the same thing.
I don't control who you hang out with

LiseToday at 6:15 PM
It is. It's just as destructive.

CenturionToday at 6:16 PM
I don't accuse you of hacking into my account
I don't accuse you of looking for other women
or men

LiseToday at 6:16 PM
I didn't accuse you. I asked you if you tried logging into my account and then I told you WHY I asked you that.

CenturionToday at 6:16 PM
BULL
SHIT

LiseToday at 6:17 PM
Ok. I don't want to fight with you anymore.

CenturionToday at 6:17 PM
Also, do you keep trying to log into my imvu account?

CenturionToday at 5:35 PM
No I don't even know your password
Plus why would I? I don't care about who you hang out with on IMVU

LiseToday at 5:35 PM
Funny... It won't let me log in because there were "too many attempts". I've been logged out for hours. :/
You think this isn't accusatory?

LiseToday at 6:18 PM
No. You took it that way. My meaning was ok, so if not you then who?

CenturionToday at 6:18 PM
lol
I took it that way
lmao

LiseToday at 6:18 PM
You did.

CenturionToday at 6:18 PM
Everyone and their mother would look at that as accusatory.
Except you, of course.

LiseToday at 6:19 PM
Ok.

CenturionToday at 6:19 PM
Regardless, I stand by what I say
I won't tolerate it.

LiseToday at 6:19 PM
Ok.
So, what would you like to do.

CenturionToday at 6:20 PM
We are going to take a looooooooong break.
See how we function absent one another
if it is good, it should stay that way
If not, we'll figure it ou
out
But for now, I cannot tolerate this

LiseToday at 6:21 PM
This is what I mean.

CenturionToday at 6:21 PM
?!
What?!

LiseToday at 6:21 PM
Ok, Trace.

CenturionToday at 6:21 PM
?!?!?!??
i have dinner to make

LiseToday at 6:22 PM
Of course.
2 years down the drain. One more person checking out.
Go figure.

CenturionToday at 6:28 PM
no its not
If we decide to try again, it's not down the drain
unless you want it to be that way

LiseToday at 6:30 PM
You want me to hold onto hope? For what? You to finally forgive me and try to make things work? Like you did when you didn't speak to me at all for a month? You want me to trust you, but do things like that?

CenturionToday at 6:31 PM
It is a common practice in relationships.

LiseToday at 6:33 PM
Ok, so right now you are what exactly?

CenturionToday at 6:33 PM
T?
?
What do you mena.
mean

LiseToday at 6:34 PM
So, what are we?

CenturionToday at 6:36 PM
I told you
taking a break
See what happens when we are apart.