1-08 Inflict

	Rain gently patters on my window, streaking my view of the grey morning with the beginnings of a dreary day. It must have rained all through the night. I lean back from my window and return to my mirror, steeling myself with a deep breath. I can get this right. Wordlessly, I part my hair into three locks and begin the attempt to braid my hair for the fourth time this morning. The rain begins to pound on the window louder, drawing my attention as the wind announces its arrival as well. I hope I'm not caught in another rainstorm on my way to class.

	My mind wanders as I stare out into the courtyard below, to important things, and to wanton thoughts. I think of my poor stray out there in that weather and endeavour to make time to heat some milk for it before I leave for class. I think of whether or not I'll bother to replace my bracelet, although I'm sure Saki will scold me once she notices. Saki brushes my mind at that, and I think of all she did for me last night. You reach a certain level of comfort with an old friend where you don't need explanations, just a warm hug and the knowledge that you'll have someone to talk to when you're ready. I can't help but run through scenarios in which I appeared as I had Saki to my other friends. Friends? I pause.

	Would I be able to call Lilly a friend? Or Hanako? I know them, certainly, but only once have I ever attempted to talk to Lilly beyond pleasantries, and I was met with a calm assurance that seems to come naturally to her. She came to visit me in the hospital, certainly, but... but maybe I should stop trying to analyse my connections to people. People like Nakai.

	I yelp, realizing I've managed to tie a knot in my hair and have tugged at it painfully. My own fault for not focusing. Resigning to my failure, I begin to untie the knot and unweave my hair as I notice someone in my doorway.

	'You're up early.' Saki greets me through a stifled yawn, leaning on my doorframe in a bedraggled pair of pajamas. I look her up and down, putting together what I'm seeing.

	'Shouldn't you be getting ready?' I reply, frowning.

	'Should I be getting ready for what? Do you have plans?' Saki just frowns in return, looking equally confused. There's a silence as I feel the gears in my head clicking into place.

	Slowly dropping my hands from my hair, I look up at her and say, 'it's Sunday.'

	'It... is Sunday.' She confirms, looking at me like I'd just asked the year. I look down at my school uniform and back at Saki. Her eyes follow and look back at me as a smile slowly breaks out on her face. 'Oh Rika, dear sweet Rika, you were getting ready for class, weren't you?' Punctuating her question with a hearty chuckle, she moves across the room and stands beside me, taking my head in her arms as though I was an upset child.

	'That may have been the case, yes.' I muffle into her torso before she pulls me away, clasping her hands to my head and looking into my eyes.

	'You woke up before your brain did, didn't you?' She lets me go, still sniggering as she continues, 'nothing for it, I suppose. Say.'

	'Say... what?' I repeat.

	'Say... have you got plans today?' She follows, innocently tilting her head.

	'To be honest, I'd sort of booked my day out with the classes I don't have. It being Sunday has really cleared up my schedule.'

	'I figured that would be the case. Well, seeing how the obvious answer to getting you out of this slump is hanging out with this wonderful lady right here,' she pause, gesturing at herself, 'how's about a little day out on the town? I'm going out shopping for some new paints, but I figured I'd make a day of it and me and a few friends are going to get ice cream and maybe a movie and other city junk.'

	'Ice cream?' I dubiously ask, looking out the window at the bleak day it's promising to be.

	'Maybe not ice cream. Anyway, you don't really know them, but I'm sure they'll warm up to you. Just be your usual charming self.' She adds, grinning. I weigh the thought of going out with Saki and her friends. I did want to get out of my head, but hanging out with Saki's friends might be a little much. She studies my face, then pouts like she read my mind.

	'I know they're not your usual crowd, but you should get out of your comfort zone a little.' Saki softly says, creasing her eyebrows in the particular way she does.

	'Maybe I should... but I'm not sure, Saki. I don't want to push myself back into a state again,' I sigh, running my hair between my fingers, 'maybe I should take baby steps for now. Like, join a club or something.' Looking up, I see Saki's face light up at that as she walks behind me and separates my hair in her hands, beginning to braid it.

	'You probably know you best right now, then.' She says slowly, with an edge of disappointment. Finishing the braid, she walks around to face me and regards me seriously. 'You have to promise to go ask about clubs, then. None of this...' she wildly gestures at my mess of library books on the desk, '... seclusion. Deal?'

	'Deal.' With that I stick out my hand, and she spits on hers then grasps it firmly. Saki just smiles as my face curls and I wipe my hand off with a tissue.

	'Well then, I do have to get ready for the city today. You get changed and go ask around first thing, okay?' Twirling away towards the door, she looks back to catch my nod and skips out towards her room. For a while, I watch the space where she was and consider. I'd have to keep my promise about the clubs, but which? I let the thought mull around in my head while I dug through my wardrobe for something to wear. It's hardly forbidden to wear school uniform on the weekend, but most students, myself included, take the opportunity to wear something of their own.

	After a short look, I pull out a casual looking blue dress with some large buttons down the front that don't actually button anything. Fashion, apparently. Shrugging off my uniform, I pull the dress over my head and slip my arms in. On observation, the dress was shorter than when I last wore it, coming up to mid-thigh. Terrific, I'm still growing, despite already taller than half the guys in my class. Looking out at the weather again, I also slip on some thick tights and a pair of cosy boots before shrugging on my shockingly still clean jacket that I wore yesterday. Quickly draining the cooling tea I'd brewed when I woke up in one long gulp, I set it down and head out into the hallway.

	It proves to be as empty as you'd imagine a school dorm to be on an early Sunday morning, but that saves me the awkwardness of bumping into anyone who saw me before. True to my promise, I head to the kitchenette before heading out and heat up some milk for the stray. Easing open the back door, I find it waiting for me, soaking wet and shivering. It gives a pitiful meow when it spots me and rubs itself against my leg.

	'You idiot, couldn't you have found somewhere warm?' I chastise it, setting the milk down. It sneezes in response, almost falling into the bowl. Chewing my lip, I decide to take the risk and reach down for the poor thing, huddling it under my jacket. It purrs in delight and nestles into me as I make a quick detour to my room, milk in hand. I settle the sodden bundle onto my bed, setting the milk on the floor. 'You can stay here since it's so miserable out, but I expect you to behave.' I inform the cat, hands on hips, but it's already curled into a ball and fallen asleep. Maybe I'll add finding this thing a home to my list today. 'I'll be back soon, and no cleaning is scheduled today so you should be safe.' I add to the slumbering ball of fur before heading out the door again and locking it. Finally out the main doors and into the courtyard, I'm blasted by a fiercely cold gust that threatens to blow my coat off my shoulders. Pulling it securely and warmly around myself, I trudge through to the classroom building through the Spring storm. By the time I've fought with the wind to pull the door shut behind me, I deeply regret my decision not to bring an umbrella for the short walk. Glumly, I head down the hall towards the library to find some listings for club activities. Along the way, I'm distracted by a passing whiff of warm cinnamon, and I slow in my tracks. It is, of course, coming from the tearoom. I decide that I have time today to have a second cup of tea with Lilly and let myself be drawn in by the pleasant aroma.

	Easing the door open, I poke my head in and see that Lilly's the only one here this morning, focused on brewing the what smells like Chai tea with her back turned to the door. There's a moment of hesitation as I realize she'll have questions about yesterday, but I push that out of my mind and slip inside.

	'Good morning, Lilly.' I greet her as I gently close the door behind me. I watch her pause what she's doing for a moment, before she turns her head over her shoulder and smiles.

	'Ah, good morning Rika, I should have known it was you this early,' she replies with her usual comforting demeanour, 'please sit. You're lucky I always brew enough for a guest.' I quickly oblige and move from hovering at the doorway, pulling up the seat closest to the window. Lilly continues preparing the tea as I sit and watch the first students emerge from the dorms, only to flee back inside from the rain. Glancing at Lilly, I notice she's totally dry and rack my brain for a way to ask how she avoided the rain without seeming prying.

	'That rain, huh?' Elegant and understated, Rika, good job. Lilly doesn't seem to mind, however, and turns her head to the sound of the rain pattering against the glass.

	'Quite the morning. I was lucky to get a dry spell while I walked Hanako inside.' Lilly explains over her shoulder. 'By the way Rika, you can hang your coat over the radiator, you sound soaked.' She adds.

	The curiousity gets the better of me. 'I sound soaked?'

	She laughs as she moves to the table and sets the tea and saucer in front of me, 'I can hear your coat dripping on the floor.'

	'Oh.' I reply, feeling heat rush to face. I quickly drape the coat over the radiator and watch the steam from it rise up and cloud the window. As Lilly returns for her own tea, I hastily rub a viewing hole with my sleeve to watch students flee across the drenched courtyard to and fro. My attention darts back as Lilly sets her saucer down with a gentle tink against the cup. I wait for her to say something, but we sit in silence in the tearoom, just listening to the rain and enjoying the warm sensation of nice tea on a cold day. I clasp the cup with both hands, trying to get the chill out of my bones as Lilly idly stirs her tea with a teaspoon, eyes fixed down at the swirling liquid.

	'Rika...' She starts, glancing up at me. I take a sip of tea and steel myself.

	'Yes?' I try and sound calm, but a tremor in my voice betrays me.

	'About yesterday... was something wrong?' Oh dear Lilly, how do I go about answering that? Yes, a million things were but nothing I could tangibly explain? That I panicked for no other reason than things seemed to be going well? Maybe I can pretend the tart didn't agree with me and I had to rush home. Which is why I was crying, obviously, because of a stomach ache.

	'I remembered something sad.' Not wholly a lie, but far from the truth. Lilly frowns, obviously not satisfied with the answer. Her forehead crinkles as she ponders a better phrasing.

	'Did Hisao do something to upset you?' She decides on something surprisingly blunt. Another question I can't answer. I suppose he did, of no fault of his own. What it was I couldn't say.

	'I don't know. I don't think so.' I say, not looking up from my tea, 'nice tea for the weather, isn't it?' I cringe at my own awkward change of subject, and Lilly doesn't look pleased at it either. She politely offers a small smile anyway.

	'I always drink Chai on days like this. This is actually an oolong blend.' She offers, maintaining the pursed smile.

	'Oh, I didn't notice. Is there ginger as well?' I meekly return, mind still threatening to buckle down on me.

	'Mm. I added it myself.' She smiles a little broader at that, but there's the questions unanswered evident in the set of her expression.

	'It really compliments the cinnamon, I think.' Time for a conversational u-turn, 'I'm thinking of joining a club.' Lilly's face brightens up, and her concern is pushed aside for the moment.

	'Really? Oh my, any ideas?' She follows, looking as though she already has a few. I rack my brain, and think of what clubs I know. Art, track, the student council. Astronomy? Is there an astronomy club?

	'Maybe astronomy? Something relaxed would suit me, I think.' If there isn't an astronomy club I'm going to seem as out as touch as... as I am, actually.

	'Perfect! I believe they have a meeting right now, actually, they tend to gather early.' She hastily says as she rises from her chair and offers me her arm.

	'We're going right now?' I hesitate, but slowly rise to my feet and take her arm. No sooner than I do, Lilly marches off with me down the hall.

	'No time like the present. They're in the club room now so you can meet everyone.' I take a hard swallow at that, but Lilly has my arm in a shockingly firm grip as though she anticipates my escape attempt. We go up a flight of stairs and arrive at the club room sooner than I hoped. Lilly raps the door a few times.

	'Come in!' A familiar voice from inside calls out. Molly? Oh no. Without ceremony, Lilly opens the door and pulls me inside, leaving me standing before a room full of around seven people, all with their heads turned to me. I feel equal parts embarrassed and vulnerable as Molly looks up from her star chart to recognize me and grins.

	'Rika! What brings you here?' Her eyes wander from my pained expression to Lilly's grip on me, but it only seems to delight her further.

	'Rika was thinking of joining your club.' Lilly answers before I can open my mouth and Molly turns to me.

	'Is that true?' She asks. I manage a nod, but words are beyond me.

	'We can always use someone to lug around the equipment, right guys?' She laughs and the club joins her, nodding their assent. I shift uncomfortably and find my voice.

	'I'm still just thinking about it.' I stammer, talking much too fast and much too quiet. Molly hears however, and stands from her position over the chart, stretching out her arms above her.

	'You don't have to join immediately. But maybe you can tag along on our trip tonight. We're going star gazing to celebrate the vernal equinox.' With that, she gestures for me to come over beside her. I free myself from Lilly and walk across the room, eyes fixed on the floor and away from meeting the gazes of the other club members. I stand a couple of feet away from her. Molly pulls one arm around me to get me closer, and points at the chart with the other. 'See here? The equinox signals the start of Spring,' she pauses to glare out the window at the rain, 'even if the rains came early. If the weather abides, which it mightn't from the looks of things, we're going out to the country side with our equipment and watching the night sky. We'll mostly just eat junk food and lounge around on the picnic blankets though.' She laughs again, and I offer a giggle as well. 'Ah, sounds like you're interested, then! Well, no pressure anyway, we'll only go if this weather clears up.'

	'It sounds like it might be fun.' I reply, mulling over the idea. It does actually sound alright. Even if I don't make friends, I can bring a book and a thermos filled with tea.

	'It's settled then! Wanna' sit in with us now and get to know the gang?' She cheesily smiles, the group cringing at the phrase. She obviously uses it a lot.

	'No, I should really finish my tea with Lilly...' I look up, only now noticing that Lilly has vanished and left me to it. She planned this. Molly notices it as well, and just pulls me in tighter.

	'Looks like she's busy! You're all ours!' She wickedly says, grinning with all her teeth. I feebly smile in return, and look about the group. Some are smiling at me, but most have already returned to what they were doing. There aren't any other faces I recognize, at least. I look back out the window, and I realize.

	I hope the weather clears up for tonight.