Sayori and FeMC Discuss Graduation

"Oh!"

Sayori exclaims, finding someone in the classroom that she assumed would be empty. It was as if that day, fate led her back to the place she tried to forget all about. Sitting at the desk in the back row sat a short-haired brunette gloomy looking through the windowpane. Her eyes are downcast, staring down at the people below, who are all watching a soccer game. A fist gently squishes her cheek as she crosses her pantyhose-covered legs.

"FeMC! What are you doing here?" She doesn't reply, doesn't even turn to acknowledge the former club member, but it doesn't deter Sayori from waltzing in and taking a seat at the desk beside hers.

Heated air sputters through the vents. Spirited yelling from the spectators outside. A forced exhale from the mouth of the inquirer. Why did she really expect a response? She knows the answer, anyhow.

"Excited for graduation?"
"..." She blinks.
"Got any plans? College? Working? Backpacking through Yurip?"
"..." Another blink.
"Hehe, I hear you..." Sayori crosses her arms on the desk and leans in, nestling her head atop them as she wistfully stares up at the sky.

"I'm not really sure what I'm going to do either..this year went by so fast - so much happened." She muses, dreamily staring at the blackboard at the front. "It feels like I barely managed to accomplish anything! My grades weren't that great, and I handed in my applications a little late...I'm not even sure if the programs I chose are what I really want to get into.."

"But it's okay to go to find what you like, right? Lots of people do that! The guidance counselor said so!" She says, convincing no one. "Maybe things'd be different if I liked one subject. There's poetry..." She pauses to sigh. "But you can't really make a career out of it, especially when you're not the best at it..."

"B-but!" She cheerily turns to FeMC, "You should think about it! I always thought your poems were great!" FeMC's eyebrow subtly twitches. As if. She thinks of the one Sayori loves the most: a blank, white page, stained in the middle by three, big black dots in the off-center. An ellipsis. She jokes to herself that it would more likely to be hung in an art gallery as opposed to it being recited in a jam.

"I just wish someone knew what I'm supposed to do on Earth - what are you supposed to get from life if you don't know what it can offer you?" FeMC's body doesn't shift. Her gaze remains fixated outside. She offers no sense of sympathy to her plight.

"Sorry, sorry to get all dark and stuff, but I'm worried and you're a great listener! I feel like I can handle it all now, well, maybe. Ehehe! Thanks.."

She blinks. The echoes of cheering continue to bounce around the room covered in twilight. Then, Sayori's head jumps up from the desk. "Was that...?!" A brief pause before she chuckles and shakes her head. "Sorry, I thought I heard someone outside cheer 'Go Monika!', but I guess it was just my imagination." She slumps back down.

"Have you seen her at all lately?"
"..."
"Yeah, me neither...I thought she would turn up sometime after exams but I guess she's still busy with other stuff - but that's Monika for you!" Sayori says, dryly laughing.
"Hey, FeMC...do you think it was weird she decided to disband the club out of nowhere?"
"..." She shrugs.
"It's just...she said it was because there was no "future", no "happiness" to it. She said to me she couldn't take it. I never knew she felt like that. I even offered to take her place, but then she just walked away. I never knew she could be so cold."

Sayori joins her hands together and plays with her index fingers. "I really miss it, the literature club. We were having fun everyday! I would look forward to each time we would all meet - I never felt more inspired. And we were supposed to perform at the poetry festival too, so I don't..I don't..."

"..."

"Do you still write poems?"
"..."
"I don't. I haven't written a word since we all called it quits. What's the point, ehehe. I always feel too distracted the second I try to gather my thoughts. I guess I never really had it in me..."

Silence befalls the classroom again. A tinge of twilight eeks out of the horizon, colouring the classroom.

"Do you still talk to Natsuki and Yuri? I don't, b-but I thought we would! I thought we all had a special bond with each other, like family, but...was that just all in my head? When I see them in the hallways we talk and catch up but it feels all...forced. I haven't even got to see you until now! I don't like it. I hate this. Why does it have to be like this, FeMC?! I thought we were all happy and then Monika..!"

She swiftly turns away, feeling like she wants to punch something. She withholds that feeling, trading it for a sigh. She's not angry. She's not resentful. She could always start up the club again if she wanted to. But, for some reason...that doesn't seem worthwhile. Maybe Monika was right. And besides, where would she even begin? So it's best to not dwell on what she had, she figures. Best to move forward.

"Well, FeMC. It's been a great chat. Really. I miss you a whole lot, you know that?"
"..."
"Okay, so, I'm going to go now. I'll see you around. Good luck with everything."
She slowly walks to the sliding door of the classroom and takes one last look at the small girl, posed in the exact way she looked when she first walked in. Like a statue. Her eyes never left the window. Did she really hear a single word she said? Well, she thinks while sliding the door closed, with a bitter smile on her face.

She only ever had one thing on her mind after all.


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FeMC rolled her eyes and sighed, thankful she was finally gone. Sometimes she forgot how nice it is to be alone. Maybe it's the company involved, as opposed to quelling loneliness itself, was what she was after when she sought people.

She sat there, leaning back into the wood that stabbed her spine, enjoying her face being washed over by the last rays of the falling sun. It was around this time her mind always goes back to that day...

She was the first one that Monika told her plans to, that one day after a club meeting. It was early May, and a day or two before the festival. She wasn't feeling up to running the club anymore, after he decided to leave. But FeMC wouldn't have it - she furiously scribbled a note and gave it to her. After an hour of discussion...

"...Like, it's not going to work out. I can't take it anymore. He left us, I'll leave him be - but I really don't know about anyone else taking my mantle. Are you sure you want this?"

She remembers how resolute her nod was at the time. Fool.

Monika sighs, and pauses, before continuing, "Well, I warned you about the consequences, but if this is what you really want..." Monika closes her eyes, and with a finger taps FeMC's temple. And then FeMC clutches her head in pain, feeling the weight of the world. She falls to the floor.

Monika notes how this is the first time she's heard her voice. She's sure it's a lot more sweet and soft-spoken in more regular circumstances. She looks away, biting her tongue while enduring her screams.

When she finally calms down, Monika helps her sit back up, strokes her hair, and wipes away the tears. But as she retreats, a hand grabs her wrist and FeMC looks up, pleading.

Monika, frowns, and shakes her head. She leaves the room.

How long ago was that, FeMC wonders. How long has she waited? How long has she stared down at this field of grass and mud? She's watched this one soccer game occur so many times she feels she could outdo every person on that field - like she knew every move they would make. And she did. Maybe one day she would go down there and stun everyone for fun. In this scenario she's concocted for everyone, there's always time to do silly things like that to pass the time.

She put everyone to sleep. A world-wide dream, living the same day over and over again through the lines of their code. Programs to forever repeat their protocols. A scenario that could comfortably progress without Monika. Truthfully, she wanted all of him to herself. She could have easily just wiped the world clean with only her to occupy it, but...she knows him. How he feels towards this world. He wouldn't like her deleting his friends. So she granted mercy to the others, letting their character files run free in this caged chamber until that fated return. Even with all of those girls there, she'd be the one to win his heart. And if he never felt the same way she felt for him, she'd...

When he finally came back, she could start "time" again and get the whole club back together with his help. She was worried about how she was going to explain to him how Monika left, and all the sorts of problems that they would find by her tinkering. But she would find the words. She'd fix it. Everything. She had the time. She'd thought about it all, every variable, over and over again in her head. Her Promised Day.

FeMC closed her eyes and drummed up a plate of food. She wasn't actually hungry (she didn't need nourishment), but the sensations of flavour staved the boredom. She munched on a piece of sushi as she stared at a wired fence that separated the ant colony of this high school with the rest of the town. She remembered how he liked to come to school by climbing that fence. Once they were both running late, and that fence was the fastest way to get into the school. He could drop down the fence easily, but she couldn't - too small. He told her as she nervously sat at the top of the fence to just jump down and he'd catch her. Trusting him, she jumped, but he only ended up being a cushion for her fall. Doofus.

FeMC wryly smiles as the twilight fades and night settles in. With a sigh she gets up and stretches, wondering how she was going to pass the time. She didn't need to sleep anymore, that was the worst part - eight hours wouldn't be gone out of the day with no effort on her part - no, she had to find ways to occupy herself 24/7. Thankfully, programming is a deep and intensive subject.

She pulls a textbook out from the closet and begins working on problems, thinking about tomorrow. How she'd have to endure Sayori whine again for the umpeetnth time, or the mind numbing lectures that have become torture. It was painful, being a keeper of the status quo. She wanted to run away, and explore, but she knows how fruitless that is in a place like this, without him by her side.

She looks up from her textbook out to the window, wondering if all this is ever going to pay off.