Bucket- Stair-ing

"What stairs?" asked Tide.

"The ones going down," said Mr. Bucket.

"Right," said JUROR. "But where can we find those stairs?"

"Good question," said Mr. Bucket. "Children, if you are out in public and you want to find stairs, what should you do?"

"Look for a sign?" asked Keerthi.

"Vape?" asked Mahuika.

"No," said Mr. Bucket. "If you want stairs you need to have them wanting to stair at you. In most countries, people might stair at you for any reason. Not in WonkaLand! Here people only go around stair-ing if they see something truly stair-able."
...

"I am bald," said Mr. Bucket. "Children, if you remember only one lesson from this experience, please know. Shaving cream does not belong on pies."

"I hate you," said Chili.

"Understandable," said Mr. Bucket. "Thankfully it will grow back. But since I am currently bald…"

A wide door appeared behind Mr. Bucket and the children. It had wide wooden eyes and a fat mouth.

It was stair-ing.

Mr. Bucket turned around and pointed at it.

"You! You! What do you think you are doing!"

"Oh," said the door. "I was… it wasn't you. It. It was the forest. I love stair-ing at the forest. The trees are beautiful this time of year."

"Liar!" shouted Mr. Bucket. "You are a filthy liar! You rude rude rude door! I am bald! My life is hard enough without stair-ers like you! You have no right! No right!"

"I'm sorry," said the door. "I wasn't trying-"

"No!" said Mr. Bucket. "Shut up! I do not want to hear it. My group and I will be leaving immediately! Now open up! Consider yourself lucky that I do not go around telling everyone what you were doing."

The door swung itself open. "Sorry. Sorry. There's no excuse. Please. I'm sorry."

"Terrible!" said Mr. Bucket as he shooed the children inside and followed them. "Shame on you!"

He slammed the door shut.

- Chapter 12: The Stairs