Dear Jason,
I can't do this. It hurts too much. I'd like to keep things good and civilised between us, but if you can't even look me in the eye when I'm standing right in front of you then that's just not going to work for me. I want to know what's going on in your head, I want you to tell me the truth about what you're thinking and how you're feeling. it's hard though, because I know you don't trust me, and how can I trust the one person that I want to more than anything if that person is not willing to do the same.... you don't want to come to the party on this, that's cool, I don't mind. just stop acting like you give a shit when you so obviously don't. if you really did, you'd try showing it.... but no, you just try to ignore what's going on coz it's better than feeling anything.
I could never be mad at you, even if I wanted to, because you've given me the most amazing and beautiful gift in the whole world. pretty sure you're the one missing out there. in all honesty, I didn't want this baby when I got pregnant, and it took me a very long time to come to terms with everything that was happening, but I'm glad I made this decision now. also, I know I told you that you could name it if it was a boy, but you were a total prick to me about pretty much everything so I didn't see why I should be doing YOU any favours... you think what I did was unfair? well that's just too fucking bad. I've tried picturing you holding him and talking to him, but I just can't see it happening. I'm the one who's going to be there for him every day of his life, not you. You aren't the one who is going to be feeding him, changing him, clothing him, bathing him, holding him when he cries, so you have no rights.
Anyway, my point is.... get fucking involved or get the fuck out of my life. Seriously, this is getting ridiculous.
Let me know when you grow a heart.