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- >be me
- >be proud dixiefag
- >be on photoshop
- >tilting that png of me
- >thankfully the image is small enough they can't see the hairs on my neck
- >adding in the scpia filter
- >mmm yeah I look like an authentic southern gentleman
- >time to save this picture
- >name it "Turning the tides.png"
- >Sit back and admire the shopped photo of Gettysburg
- >there's a knock at the door
- >whos.what
- >opens the door
- >It's your mom
- >"Hi anon, I saw that post you just made" she says
- >she gets down on all knees
- >all four of them
- >her arm knees as well
- >"Is there anything I could do for you?"
- >My south rises again as I point to my 8cm one eye'd yankee
- >She rips open my dungarees and starts slobbing on my bayonet
- >seceedsmyunion.south
- >She gets a load of powder from my musket all over her face
- >She cleans herself up and gets up
- >wallet falls from her pocket
- >it opens
- >See she has a drivers license from Indiana
- >The woman before me transforms into the most vial yankee I've ever seen
- >Pull out my original 1852 Navy revolver
- >Yankee charges me, tries to burn down my Georgia
- >Shoot the yankee devil in front of me with all six shots
- >she is dead
- >Another victory for the south
- >Turn back to my computer and open up the Fredricksburg scene from "Gods and Generals", I squirt lotion into my hands
- >all four of them
- >my feet leg hands to
- >I'm actually a monkey
- >We're actually all monkeys
- >Look out my window and see the statue of liberty buried in the sand
- >today was a good day
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