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- "Almost all my middle-aged and elderly acquaintances, including me, feel about 25, unless we haven't had our coffee, in which case we feel 107."
- Martha Beck
- "I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake."
- Lewis Black
- "Coffee is already known to be a preventative factor against mild depression, Parkinson's disease, and colon and rectal cancers."
- Chris Kilham
- "Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?"
- Steven Wright
- "Drinking a cup of coffee with your eyes closed isn't a sophisticated task for a person, but it's hard for a robot."
- Vijjay Kumar
- "Even a bad cup of coffee is better than no coffee at all."
- David Lynch
- "I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup."
- Eddie Izzard
- "I quit coffee. It won't be easy drinking my Bailey's straight but I'll get used to it. It'll still be the best part of waking up."
- Megan Mullally
- "I wake up some mornings and sit and have my coffee and look out at my beautiful garden, and I go, 'Remember how good this is. Because you can lose it.'"
- Jim Carrey
- "If it wasn't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever."
- David Letterman
- "My children know not to shout before Mummy has warmed herself into something human with her coffee."
- Ben Kidron
- "Never drink black coffee at lunch; it will keep you awake all afternoon."
- Jilly Cooper
- "Never trust anyone who doesn't drink coffee."
- AJ Lee
- "Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second."
- Edward Abbey
- "Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break."
- Earl Wilson
- "The smell of fresh-made coffee is one of the world's greatest inventions."
- Hugh Jackman
- "Three hundred years ago, during the Age of Enlightenment, the coffee house became the center of innovation."
- Peter Diamonde
- "Up to a thousand milligrams of caffeine is considered safe for most people, which translates into about 10 cups of coffee a day."
- Michael Greger
- "When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas..."
- Emo Philips
- "You can't have a decent food culture without a decent coffee culture: the two things grow up together."
- Adam Gopnik
- "We want to do a lot of stuff; we're not in great shape. We didn't get a good night's sleep. We're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup."
- Jerry Seinfeld
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