Larry Wall's quotes

... Now the very thought of looking at Perl code scares me ...

This one is specially for Roman:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
  Doing linear scans over an associative array is like trying to club
  someone to death with a loaded Uzi.
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All language designers are arrogant.  Goes with the territory... :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <1991Jul13.010945.19157@netlabs.com
%%
Although the Perl Slogan is There's More Than One Way to Do It, I hesitate
to make 10 ways to do something.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <9695@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
And don't tell me there isn't one bit of difference between null and space,
because that's exactly how much difference there is.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <10209@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
"And I don't like doing silly things (except on purpose)."
             -- Larry Wall in <1992Jul3.191825.14435@netlabs.com>
%%
:        And it goes against the grain of building small tools.
Innocent, Your Honor.  Perl users build small tools all day long.
             -- Larry Wall in <1992Aug26.184221.29627@netlabs.com>
%%
/* And you'll never guess what the dog had */
/*   in its mouth... */
             -- Larry Wall in stab.c from the perl source code
%%
Because . doesn't match \n.  [\0-\377] is the most efficient way to match
everything currently.  Maybe \e should match everything.  And \E would
of course match nothing.   :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <9847@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
Be consistent.
             -- Larry Wall in the perl man page
%%
Besides, including <std_ice_cubes.h> is a fatal error on machines that
don't have it yet.  Bad language design, there...  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <1991Aug22.220929.6857@netlabs.com>
%%
Besides, it's good to force C programmers to use the toolbox occasionally.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <1991May31.181659.28817@jpl-devvax.jpl.nasa.gov>
%%
Besides, REAL computers have a rename() system call.    :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <7937@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
break;                          /* don't do magic till later */
             -- Larry Wall in stab.c from the perl source code
%%
But you have to allow a little for the desire to evangelize when you
think you have good news.
             -- Larry Wall in <1992Aug26.184221.29627@netlabs.com>
%%
Chip Salzenberg sent me a complete patch to add System V IPC (msg, sem and
shm calls), so I added them.  If that bothers you, you can always undefine
them in config.sh.  :-) -- Larry Wall in <9384@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
/* dbmrefcnt--;  */     /* doesn't work, rats */
             -- Larry Wall in hash.c from the perl source code
%%
#define NULL 0           /* silly thing is, we don't even use this */
             -- Larry Wall in perl.c from the perl source code
%%
#define SIGILL 6         /* blech */
             -- Larry Wall in perl.c from the perl source code
%%
Does the same as the system call of that name.
If you don't know what it does, don't worry about it.
             -- Larry Wall in the perl man page regarding chroot(2)
%%
double value;                /* or your money back! */
short changed;               /* so triple your money back! */
             -- Larry Wall in cons.c from the perl source code
%%
Down that path lies madness.  On the other hand, the road to hell is
paved with melting snowballs.
             -- Larry Wall in <1992Jul2.222039.26476@netlabs.com>
%%
echo "Congratulations.  You aren't running Eunice."
             -- Larry Wall in Configure from the perl distribution
%%
echo "Hmmm...you don't have Berkeley networking in libc.a..."
echo "but the Wollongong group seems to have hacked it in."
             -- Larry Wall in Configure from the perl distribution
%%
echo "ICK, NOTHING WORKED!!!  You may have to diddle the includes.";;
             -- Larry Wall in Configure from the perl distribution
%%
echo $package has manual pages available in source form.
echo "However, you don't have nroff, so they're probably useless to you."
             -- Larry Wall in Configure from the perl distribution
%%
echo "Your stdio isn't very std."
             -- Larry Wall in Configure from the perl distribution
%%
#else /* !STDSTDIO */     /* The big, slow, and stupid way */
             -- Larry Wall in str.c from the perl source code
%%
[End of diatribe.  We now return you to your regularly scheduled
programming...]
             -- Larry Wall in Configure from the perl distribution
%%
Even if you aren't in doubt, consider the mental welfare of the person who
has to maintain the code after you, and who will probably put parens in
the wrong place.  -- Larry Wall in the perl man page
%%
"Help save the world!"              -- Larry Wall in README
%%
Hey, I had to let awk be better at *something*...  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <1991Nov7.200504.25280@netlabs.com>1
%%
I already have too much problem with people thinking the efficiency of
a perl construct is related to its length.  On the other hand, I'm
perfectly capable of changing my mind next week...  :-) --lwall
%%
I don't know if it's what you want, but it's what you get.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <10502@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
I dunno, I dream in Perl sometimes...
             -- Larry Wall in  <8538@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
If I allowed "next $label" then I'd also have to allow "goto $label",
and I don't think you really want that...  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <1991Mar11.230002.27271@jpl-devvax.jpl.nasa.gov>
%%
If I don't document something, it's usually either for a good reason,
or a bad reason.  In this case it's a good reason.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <1992Jan17.005405.16806@netlabs.com>
%%
"I find this a nice feature but it is not according to the documentation.
Or is it a BUG?"
"Let's call it an accidental feature. :-)"
             -- Larry Wall in <6909@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
if (instr(buf,sys_errlist[errno]))  /* you don't see this */
             -- Larry Wall in eval.c from the perl source code
%%
if (rsfp = mypopen("/bin/mail root","w")) {     /* heh, heh */
             -- Larry Wall in perl.c from the perl source code
%%
If you consistently take an antagonistic approach, however, people are
going to start thinking you're from New York.   :-)
             -- Larry Wall to Dan Bernstein in <10187@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
If you want to program in C, program in C.  It's a nice language.  I
use it occasionally...   :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <7577@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
If you want to see useful Perl examples, we can certainly arrange to have
comp.lang.misc flooded with them, but I don't think that would help the
advance of civilization.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <1992Mar5.180926.19041@netlabs.com>
%%
If you want your program to be readable, consider supplying the argument.
             -- Larry Wall in the perl man page
%%
I know it's weird, but it does make it easier to write poetry in perl.    :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <7865@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
I'll say it again for the logic impaired.
             -- Larry Wall
%%
I might be able to shoehorn a reference count in on top of the numeric
value by disallowing multiple references on scalars with a numeric value,
but it wouldn't be as clean.  I do occasionally worry about that. --lwall
%%
I'm sure that that could be indented more readably, but I'm scared of
the awk parser.
             -- Larry Wall in <6849@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
In general, if you think something isn't in Perl, try it out, because it
usually is.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <1991Jul31.174523.9447@netlabs.com>
%%
In general, they do what you want, unless you want consistency.
             -- Larry Wall in the perl man page
%%
Interestingly enough, since subroutine declarations can come anywhere,
you wouldn't have to put BEGIN {} at the beginning, nor END {} at the
end.  Interesting, no?  I wonder if Henry would like it. :-) --lwall
%%
I think it's a new feature.  Don't tell anyone it was an accident.  :-)
         -- Larry Wall on s/foo/bar/eieio in <10911@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
"It is easier to port a shell than a shell script."
             -- Larry Wall
%%
It is, of course, written in Perl.  Translation to C is left as an
exercise for the reader.  :-)  -- Larry Wall in <7448@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
It's all magic.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <7282@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
It's documented in The Book, somewhere...
             -- Larry Wall in <10502@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
> (It's sorta like sed, but not.  It's sorta like awk, but not.  etc.)
Guilty as charged.  Perl is happily ugly, and happily derivative.
             -- Larry Wall in <1992Aug26.184221.29627@netlabs.com>
%%
It's there as a sop to former Ada programmers.  :-)
     -- Larry Wall regarding 10_000_000 in <11556@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
It won't be covered in the book.  The source code has to be useful for
something, after all...  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <10160@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
:  I've heard that there is a shell (bourne or csh) to perl filter, does
:  anyone know of this or where I can get it?
Yeah, you filter it through Tom Christiansen.  :-)  -- Larry Wall
%%
:       I've tried (in vi) "g/[a-z]\n[a-z]/s//_/"...but that doesn't
: cut it.  Any ideas?  (I take it that it may be a two-pass sort of solution).
In the first pass, install perl. :-)
             -- Larry Wall <6849@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
I won't mention any names, because I don't want to get sun4's into
trouble...  :-)     -- Larry Wall in <11333@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
Just don't compare it with a real language, or you'll be unhappy...  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <1992May12.190238.5667@netlabs.com>
%%
Just don't create a file called -rf.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <11393@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
last|perl -pe '$_ x=/(..:..)...(.*)/&&"'$1'"ge$1&&"'$1'"lt$2'
That's gonna be tough for Randal to beat...  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in  <1991Apr29.072206.5621@jpl-devvax.jpl.nasa.gov>
%%
Let's say the docs present a simplified view of reality...    :-)
             -- Larry Wall in  <6940@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
Let us be charitable, and call it a misleading feature  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <2609@jato.Jpl.Nasa.Gov>
%%
Lispers are among the best grads of the Sweep-It-Under-Someone-Else's-Carpet
School of Simulated Simplicity.  [Was that sufficiently incendiary?  :-)]
             -- Larry Wall in <1992Jan10.201804.11926@netlabs.com
%%
No, I'm not going to explain it.  If you can't figure it out, you didn't
want to know anyway...  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <1991Aug7.180856.2854@netlabs.com>
%%
/* now make a new head in the exact same spot */
             -- Larry Wall in cons.c from the perl source code
%%
OK, enough hype.
             -- Larry Wall in the perl man page
%%
OOPS!  You naughty creature!  You didn't run Configure with sh!
I will attempt to remedy the situation by running sh for you...
             -- Larry Wall in Configure from the perl distribution
%%
Perl is designed to give you several ways to do anything, so
consider picking the most readable one.
             -- Larry Wall in the perl man page
%%
Perl itself is usually pretty good about telling you what you shouldn't
do. :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <11091@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
Perl programming is an *empirical* science!
             -- Larry Wall in <10226@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
pos += screamnext[pos]  /* does this goof up anywhere? */
             -- Larry Wall in util.c from the perl source code
%%
Q. Why is this so clumsy?
A. The trick is to use Perl's strengths rather than its weaknesses.
             -- Larry Wall in <8225@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
Randal said it would be tough to do in sed.  He didn't say he didn't
understand sed.  Randal understands sed quite well.  Which is why he
uses Perl.   :-)  -- Larry Wall in <7874@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
Real programmers can write assembly code in any language.   :-)
             -- Larry Wall in  <8571@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
Remember though that
THERE IS NO GENERAL RULE FOR CONVERTING A LIST INTO A SCALAR.
             -- Larry Wall in the perl man page
%%
s = (char*)(long)retval;                /* ouch */
             -- Larry Wall in doio.c from the perl source code
%%
signal(i, SIG_DFL); /* crunch, crunch, crunch */
             -- Larry Wall in doarg.c from the perl source code
%%
Sorry.  My testing organization is either too small, or too large, depending
on how you look at it.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <1991Apr22.175438.8564@jpl-devvax.jpl.nasa.gov>
%%
stab_val(stab)->str_nok = 1;    /* what a wonderful hack! */
             -- Larry Wall in stab.c from the perl source code
%%
str->str_pok |= SP_FBM;                     /* deep magic */
s = (unsigned char*)(str->str_ptr);         /* deeper magic */
             -- Larry Wall in util.c from the perl source code
%%
Tactical?  TACTICAL!?!?  Hey, buddy, we went from kilotons to megatons
several minutes ago.  We don't need no stinkin' tactical nukes.
(By the way, do you have change for 10 million people?) --lwall
%%
That means I'll have to use $ans to suppress newlines now.
Life is ridiculous.
             -- Larry Wall in Configure from the perl distribution
%%
The autodecrement is not magical.
             -- Larry Wall in the perl man page
%%
The only disadvantage I see is that it would force everyone to get Perl.
Horrors.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in  <8854@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
*** The previous line contains the naughty word "$&".\n
if /(ibm|apple|awk)/;      # :-)
             -- Larry Wall in the perl man page
%%
There ain't nothin' in this world that's worth being a snot over.
             -- Larry Wall in <1992Aug19.041614.6963@netlabs.com>
%%
There are many times when you want it to ignore the rest of the string just
like atof() does.  Oddly enough, Perl calls atof().  How convenient.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <1991Jun24.231628.14446@jpl-devvax.jpl.nasa.gov>
%%
There are probably better ways to do that, but it would make the parser
more complex.  I do, occasionally, struggle feebly against complexity...  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <7886@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
There are still some other things to do, so don't think if I didn't fix
your favorite bug that your bug report is in the bit bucket.  (It may be,
but don't think it.  :-)  Larry Wall in <7238@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
There is, however, a strange, musty smell in the air that reminds me of
something...hmm...yes...I've got it...there's a VMS nearby, or I'm a Blit.
             -- Larry Wall in Configure from the perl distribution
%%
"The road to hell is paved with melting snowballs."
             -- Larry Wall in  <1992Jul2.222039.26476@netlabs.com>
%%
/* This bit of chicanery makes a unary function followed by
a parenthesis into a function with one argument, highest precedence. */
             -- Larry Wall in toke.c from the perl source code
%%
"...this does not mean that some of us should not want, in a rather
dispassionate sort of way, to put a bullet through csh's head."
Larry Wall in <1992Aug6.221512.5963@netlabs.com>
%%
> This made me wonder, suddenly: can telnet be written in perl?
Of course it can be written in Perl.  Now if you'd said nroff,
that would be more challenging...   -- Larry Wall
%%
Though I'll admit readability suffers slightly...
             -- Larry Wall in <2969@jato.Jpl.Nasa.Gov>
%%
tmps_base = tmps_max;                /* protect our mortal string */
             -- Larry Wall in stab.c from the perl source code
%%
Unix is like a toll road on which you have to stop every 50 feet to
pay another nickel.  But hey!  You only feel 5 cents poorer each time.
             -- Larry Wall in <1992Aug13.192357.15731@netlabs.com>
%%
"We all agree on the necessity of compromise.  We just can't agree on
when it's necessary to compromise."
             -- Larry Wall in  <1991Nov13.194420.28091@netlabs.com>
%%
/* we have tried to make this normal case as abnormal as possible */
             -- Larry Wall in cmd.c from the perl source code
%%
What about WRITING it first and rationalizing it afterwords?  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <8162@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
: 1.  What is the possibility of this being added in the future?
In the near future, the probability is close to zero.  In the distant
future, I'll be dead, and posterity can do whatever they like...  :-) --lwall
%%
"What is the sound of Perl?  Is it not the sound of a wall that
people have stopped banging their heads against?"
             -- Larry Wall in <1992Aug26.184221.29627@netlabs.com>
%%
When in doubt, parenthesize.  At the very least it will let some
poor schmuck bounce on the % key in vi.
             -- Larry Wall in the perl man page
%%
"You can't have filenames longer than 14 chars.
You can't even think about them!"
             -- Larry Wall in Configure from the perl distribution
%%
You have to admit that it's difficult to misplace the Perl sources.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <1992Aug26.184221.29627@netlabs.com>
%%
Your csh still thinks true is false.  Write to your vendor today and tell
them that next year Configure ought to "rm /bin/csh" unless they fix their
blasted shell. :-)   -- Larry Wall in Configure from the perl distribution
%%
You want it in one line?  Does it have to fit in 80 columns?   :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <7349@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
%%
Well, enough clowning around.  Perl is, in intent, a cleaned up and
summarized version of that wonderful semi-natural language known as
"Unix".
             -- Larry Wall in <1994Apr6.184419.3687@netlabs.com>
%%
Anyway, there's plenty of room for doubt.  It might seem easy enough,
but computer language design is just like a stroll in the park.

Jurassic Park, that is.
             -- Larry Wall in <1994Jun15.074039.2654@netlabs.com>
%%
I want to see people using Perl to glue things together creatively, not
just technically but also socially.
             -- Larry Wall in <199702111730.JAA28598@wall.org>
%%
The whole history of computers is rampant with cheerleading at best and
bigotry at worst.
             -- Larry Wall in <199702111730.JAA28598@wall.org>
%%
If someone stinks, view it as a reason to help them, not a reason to
avoid them.
             -- Larry Wall in <199702111730.JAA28598@wall.org>
%%
As usual, I'm overstating the case to knock a few neurons loose, but the
truth is usually somewhere in the muddle, uh, middle.
             -- Larry Wall in <199702111639.IAA28425@wall.org>
%%
Odd that we think definitions are definitive.   :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199702221943.LAA20388@wall.org>
%%
: But for some things, Perl just isn't the optimal choice.

(yet)   :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199702221943.LAA20388@wall.org>
%%
I don't like this official/unofficial distinction.  It sound, er, officious.
             -- Larry Wall in <199702221943.LAA20388@wall.org>
%%
If you write something wrong enough, I'll be glad to make up a new
witticism just for you.
             -- Larry Wall in <199702221943.LAA20388@wall.org>
%%
So far we've managed to avoid turning Perl into APL.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199702251904.LAA28261@wall.org>
%%
Not that I have anything much against redundancy.  But I said that already.
             -- Larry Wall in <199702271735.JAA04048@wall.org>
%%
They can always run stderr through uniq.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199704012331.PAA16535@wall.org>
%%
I'd put my money where my mouth is, but my mouth keeps moving.
             -- Larry Wall in <199704051723.JAA28035@wall.org>
%%
Of course, I reserve the right to make wholly stupid changes to Perl
if I think they improve the language.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199704251604.JAA27300@wall.org>
%%
Call me bored, but don't call me boring.
             -- Larry Wall in <199705101952.MAA00756@wall.org>
%%
I think $[ is more like a coelacanth than a mastadon.
             -- Larry Wall in <199705101952.MAA00756@wall.org>
%%
We question most of the mantras around here periodically, in case
you hadn't noticed.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199705101952.MAA00756@wall.org>
%%
(Presuming for the sake of argument that it's even *possible* to design
better code in Perl than in C.  :-)
    -- Larry Wall on core code vs. module code design
%%
That could certainly be done, but I don't want to fall into the Forth
trap, where every running Forth implementation is really a different
language.
             -- Larry Wall in <199705101952.MAA00756@wall.org>
%%
Tcl long ago fell into the Forth trap, and is now trying desperately to
extricate itself (with some help from Sun's marketing department).
             -- Larry Wall in <199705101952.MAA00756@wall.org>
%%
The whole intent of Perl 5's module system was to encourage the growth
of Perl culture rather than the Perl core.
             -- Larry Wall in <199705101952.MAA00756@wall.org>
%%
Randal can write one-liners again.  Everyone is happy, and peace spreads
over the whole Earth.
             -- Larry Wall in <199705101952.MAA00756@wall.org>
%%
Life gets boring, someone invents another necessity, and once again we
turn the crank on the screwjack of progress hoping that nobody gets
screwed.
             -- Larry Wall in <199705101952.MAA00756@wall.org>
%%
No prisoner's dilemma here.  Over the long term, symbiosis is more
useful than parasitism.  More fun, too.  Ask any mitochondria.
             -- Larry Wall in <199705102042.NAA00851@wall.org>
%%
Obviously I was either onto something, or on something.
             -- Larry Wall on the creation of Perl
%%
It's the Magic that counts.
             -- Larry Wall on Perl's apparent ugliness
%%
May you do Good Magic with Perl.
             -- Larry Wall's blessing
%%
P.S. Perl's master plan (or what passes for one) is to take over the
world like English did.  Er, *as* English did...
             -- Larry Wall in <199705201832.LAA28393@wall.org>
%%
You can prove anything by mentioning another computer language.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199706242038.NAA29853@wall.org>
%%
I think you didn't get a reply because you used the terms "correct" and
"proper", neither of which has much meaning in Perl culture.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199706251602.JAA01786@wall.org>
%%
I'm sure a mathematician would claim that 0 and 1 are both very
interesting numbers.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199707300650.XAA05515@wall.org>
%%
True, it returns "" for false, but "" is an even more interesting
number than 0.
             -- Larry Wall in <199707300650.XAA05515@wall.org>
%%
Any false value is gonna be fairly boring in Perl, mathematicians
notwithstanding.
             -- Larry Wall in <199707300650.XAA05515@wall.org>
%%
We didn't put in ^^ because then we'd have to keep telling people what
it means, and then we'd have to keep telling them why it doesn't short
circuit.  :-/
             -- Larry Wall in <199707300650.XAA05515@wall.org>
%%
Anybody want a binary telemetry frame editor written in Perl?
             -- Larry Wall in <199708012226.PAA22015@wall.org>
%%
Perhaps I'm missing the gene for making enemies.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199708040319.UAA16213@wall.org>
%%
Perl has a long tradition of working around compilers.
             -- Larry Wall in <199708252256.PAA00105@wall.org>
%%
Personally, I like to defiantly split my infinitives.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199708271551.IAA10211@wall.org>
%%
Real theology is always rather shocking to people who already
think they know what they think.  I'm still shocked myself.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199708261932.MAA05218@wall.org>
%%
The computer should be doing the hard work.  That's what it's paid to do,
after all.
             -- Larry Wall in <199709012312.QAA08121@wall.org>
%%
The following two statements are usually both true:
	There's not enough documentation.
	There's too much documentation.
             -- Larry Wall in <199709020026.RAA08431@wall.org>
%%
Of course, this being Perl, we could always take both approaches.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199709021744.KAA12428@wall.org>
%%
The random quantum fluctuations of my brain are historical accidents that
happen to have decided that the concepts of dynamic scoping and lexical
scoping are orthogonal and should remain that way.
             -- Larry Wall in <199709021854.LAA12794@wall.org>
%%
At many levels, Perl is a "diagonal" language.
             -- Larry Wall in <199709021854.LAA12794@wall.org>
%%
I'm serious about thinking through all the possibilities before we
settle on anything.  All things have the advantages of their
disadvantages, and vice versa.
             -- Larry Wall in <199709032332.QAA21669@wall.org>
%%
Part of language design is purturbing the proposed feature in various
directions to see how it might generalize in the future.
             -- Larry Wall in <199709032332.QAA21669@wall.org>
%%
Sometimes we choose the generalization.  Sometimes we don't.
             -- Larry Wall in <199709032332.QAA21669@wall.org>
%%
I wouldn't ever write the full sentence myself, but then, I never use
goto either.
             -- Larry Wall in <199709032332.QAA21669@wall.org>
%%
It's appositival, if it's there.  And it doesn't have to be there.
And it's really obvious that it's there when it's there.
             -- Larry Wall in <199709032332.QAA21669@wall.org>
%%
Oh, get ahold of yourself.  Nobody's proposing that we parse English.
             -- Larry Wall in <199709032332.QAA21669@wall.org>
%%
As with all the other proposals, it's basically just a list of words.
You can deal with that... :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199709032332.QAA21669@wall.org>
%%
I hope I'm not getting so famous that I can't think out load [sic] anymore.
             -- Larry Wall in <199709032332.QAA21669@wall.org>
%%
It would be possible to optimize some forms of goto, but I haven't
bothered.
             -- Larry Wall in <199709041935.MAA27136@wall.org>
%%
A "goto" in Perl falls into the category of hard things that should be
possible, not easy things that should be easy.
             -- Larry Wall in <199709041935.MAA27136@wall.org>
%%
How do Crays and Alphas handle the POSIX problem?
             -- Larry Wall in <199709050042.RAA29379@wall.org>
%%
Well, that's more-or-less what I was saying, though obviously addition
is a little more cosmic than the bitwise operators.
             -- Larry Wall in <199709051808.LAA01780@wall.org>
%%
You tell it that it's indicative by appending $!.  That's why we made $!
such a short variable name, after all.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199709081801.LAA20629@wall.org>
%%
The choice of approaches could be made the responsibility of the
programmer.
             -- Larry Wall in <199709081901.MAA20863@wall.org>
%%
As someone pointed out, you could have an attribute that says "optimize
the heck out of this routine", and your definition of heck would be a
parameter to the optimizer.
             -- Larry Wall in <199709081854.LAA20830@wall.org>
%%
If you're going to define a shortcut, then make it the base [sic] darn
shortcut you can.
             -- Larry Wall in <199709241628.JAA08908@wall.org>
%%
It is my job in life to travel all roads, so that some may take the road
less travelled, and others the road more travelled, and all have a
pleasant day.
             -- Larry Wall in <199709241628.JAA08908@wall.org>
%%
It's getting harder and harder to think out loud.  One of these days
someone's gonna go off and kill Thomas a'Becket for me...
             -- Larry Wall in <199709242015.NAA10312@wall.org>
%%
I was about to say, "Avoid fame like the plague," but you know, they can
cure the plague with penicillin these days.
             -- Larry Wall in <199709242015.NAA10312@wall.org>
%%
But the possibility of abuse may be a good reason for leaving
capabilities out of other computer languages, it's not a good reason for
leaving capabilities out of Perl.
             -- Larry Wall in <199709251614.JAA15718@wall.org>
%%
Oh, wait, that was Randal...nevermind...
             -- Larry Wall in <199709261754.KAA23761@wall.org>
%%
P.S.  I suppose I really should be nicer to people today, considering
I'll be singing in Billy Graham's choir tonight...   :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199709261754.KAA23761@wall.org>
%%
Magically turning people's old scalar contexts into list contexts is a
recipe for several kinds of disaster.
             -- Larry Wall in <199709291631.JAA08648@wall.org>
%%
And we can always supply them with a program that makes identical files
into links to a single file.
             -- Larry Wall in <199709292012.NAA09616@wall.org>
%%
I wasn't recommending that we make the links for them, only provide them
with the tools to do so if they want to take the gamble (or the gambol).
             -- Larry Wall in <199709292259.PAA10407@wall.org>
%%
This has been planned for some time.  I guess we'll just have to find
someone with an exceptionally round tuit.
             -- Larry Wall in <199709302338.QAA17037@wall.org>
%%
    switch (ref $@) {
    OverflowError =>
	warn "Dam needs to be drained";
    DomainError =>
	warn "King needs to be trained";
    NuclearWarError =>
	die;
    }
             -- Larry Wall in <199709302338.QAA17037@wall.org>
%%
I surely do hope that's a syntax error.
             -- Larry Wall in <199710011752.KAA21624@wall.org>
%%
Anyway, my money is still on use strict vars . . .
             -- Larry Wall in <199710011704.KAA21395@wall.org>
%%
If you remove stricture from a large Perl program currently, you're just
installing delayed bugs, whereas with this feature, you're installing an
instant bug that's easily fixed.  Whoopee.
             -- Larry Wall in <199710050130.SAA04762@wall.org>
%%
I don't think it's worth washing hogs over.
             -- Larry Wall in <199710060253.TAA09723@wall.org>
%%
It's certainly easy to calculate the average attendance for Perl
conferences.
             -- Larry Wall in <199710071721.KAA19014@wall.org>
%%
Tcl tends to get ported to weird places like routers.
             -- Larry Wall in <199710071721.KAA19014@wall.org>
%%
Historically Tcl has always stored all intermediate results as strings.
(With 8.0 they're rethinking that.  Of course, Perl rethought that from
the start.)
             -- Larry Wall in <199710071721.KAA19014@wall.org>
%%
I knew I'd hate COBOL the moment I saw they'd used "perform" instead of
"do".
             -- Larry Wall on a not-so-popular programming language
%%
Just don't make the '9' format pack/unpack numbers...  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199710091434.HAA00838@wall.org>
%%
I think that's easier to read.  Pardon me.  Less difficult to read.
             -- Larry Wall in <199710120226.TAA06867@wall.org>
%%
To ordinary folks, conversion is not always automatic.  It's something
that may or may not require explicit assistance.  See Billy Graham.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199710141738.KAA22289@wall.org>
%%
Well, you can implement a Perl peek() with unpack('P',...).  Once you
have that, there's only security through obscurity.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199710161537.IAA07828@wall.org>
%%
It may be possible to get this condition from within Perl if a signal
handler runs at just the wrong moment.  Another point for Chip...  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199710161546.IAA07885@wall.org>
%%
As pointed out in a followup, Real Perl Programmers prefer things to be
visually distinct.
             -- Larry Wall in <199710161841.LAA13208@wall.org>
%%
The Harvard Law states:  Under controlled conditions of light, temperature,
humidity, and nutrition, the organism will do as it damn well pleases.
             -- Larry Wall in <199710161841.LAA13208@wall.org>
%%
That should probably be written:
    no !@#$%^&*:@!semicolon
             -- Larry Wall in <199710161841.LAA13208@wall.org>
%%
That gets us out of deciding how to spell Reg[eE]xp?|RE . . .
Of course, then we have to decide what ref $re returns...  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199710171838.LAA24968@wall.org>
%%
'Course, that doesn't work when 'a' contains parentheses.
             -- Larry Wall in <199710211647.JAA17957@wall.org>
%%
I was trying not to mention backtracking.  Which, of course, means that
yours is "righter" than mine, in a theoretical sense.
             -- Larry Wall in <199710211624.JAA17833@wall.org>
%%
Not that I'm against sneaking some notions into people's heads upon
occasion.  (Or blasting them in outright.)
             -- Larry Wall in <199710211624.JAA17833@wall.org>
%%
(To the extent that anyone but a Prolog programmer can understand \X totally.
(And to the extent that a Prolog programmer can understand "cut". :-))
             -- Larry Wall in <199710211624.JAA17833@wall.org>
%%
Wow, I'm being shot at from both sides.  That means I *must* be right.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199710211959.MAA18990@wall.org>
%%
You don't have to wait--you can have it in 5.004_54 or so.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199710221740.KAA24455@wall.org>
%%
There's something to be said for returning the whole syntax tree.
             -- Larry Wall in <199710221833.LAA24741@wall.org>
%%
It's not really a rule--it's more like a trend.
             -- Larry Wall in <199710221721.KAA24321@wall.org>
%%
Double *sigh*.  _04 is going onto thousands of CDs even as we speak,
so to speak.
             -- Larry Wall in <199710221718.KAA24299@wall.org>
%%
The code also assumes that it's difficult to misspell "a" or "b".  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199710221731.KAA24396@wall.org>
%%
Well, hey, let's just make everything into a closure, and then we'll
have our general garbage collector, installed by "use less memory".
             -- Larry Wall in <199710221744.KAA24484@wall.org>
%%
People who understand context would be steamed to have someone else
dictating how they can call it.
             -- Larry Wall in <199710221710.KAA24242@wall.org>
%%
For the sake of argument I'll ignore all your fighting words.
             -- Larry Wall in <199710221710.KAA24242@wall.org>
%%
Think of prototypes as a funny markup language--the interpretation is
left up to the rendering engine.
             -- Larry Wall in <199710221710.KAA24242@wall.org>
%%
The way these things go, there are probably 6 or 8 kludgey ways to do
it, and a better way that involves rethinking something that hasn't
been rethunk yet.
             -- Larry Wall in <199710221859.LAA24889@wall.org>
%%
Beauty?  What's that?
             -- Larry Wall in <199710221937.MAA25131@wall.org>
%%
I'm afraid my gut level reaction is basically, "'proceed' is cute, but
cute doesn't cut it in the emergency room."
             -- Larry Wall in <199710281816.KAA29614@wall.org>
%%
I suppose one could claim that an undocumented feature has no
semantics.  :-(
             -- Larry Wall in <199710290036.QAA01818@wall.org>
%%
Yes, we have consensus that we need 64 bit support.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199710291922.LAA07101@wall.org>
%%
:  - cut in regexps

I don't think we reached consensus on that.  We're still backtracking...
             -- Larry Wall in <199710291922.LAA07101@wall.org>
%%
Boss:   You forgot to assign the result of your map!
Hacker: Dang, I'm always forgetting my assignations...
Boss:   And what's that "goto" doing there?!?
Hacker: Er, I guess my finger slipped when I was typing "getservbyport"...
Boss:   Ah well, accidents will happen.  Maybe we should have picked APL.
             -- Larry Wall in <199710311732.JAA19169@wall.org>
%%
Perhaps they will have to outlaw sending random lists of words.  fee fie
foe foo
             -- Larry Wall in <199710311916.LAA19760@wall.org>
%%
Hey, if pi == 3, and three == 0, does that make pi == 0?  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199711011926.LAA25557@wall.org>
%%
(Never thought I'd be telling Malcolm and Ilya the same thing... :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199711071819.KAA29909@wall.org>
%%
And other operators aren't so special syntactically, but weird
in other ways, like "scalar", and "goto".
             -- Larry Wall in <199711071749.JAA29751@wall.org>
%%
Portability should be the default.
             -- Larry Wall in <199711072201.OAA01123@wall.org>
%%
If this were Ada, I suppose we'd just constant fold 1/0 into

    die "Illegal division by zero"
             -- Larry Wall in <199711100226.SAA12549@wall.org>
%%
Are you perchance running on a 64-bit machine?
             -- Larry Wall in <199711102149.NAA16878@wall.org>
%%
Almost nothing in Perl serves a single purpose.
             -- Larry Wall in <199712040054.QAA13811@wall.org>
%%
There's some entertainment value in watching people juggle nitroglycerin.
             -- Larry Wall in <199712041747.JAA18908@wall.org>
%%
Reserve your abuse for your true friends.
             -- Larry Wall in <199712041852.KAA19364@wall.org>
%%
Er, Tom, I hate to be the one to point this out, but your fix list
is starting to resemble a feature list.  You must be human or something.
             -- Larry Wall in <199801081824.KAA29602@wall.org>
%%
It's hard to tune heavily tuned code.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199801141725.JAA07555@wall.org>
%%
Perl will always provide the null.
             -- Larry Wall in <199801151818.KAA14538@wall.org>
%%
It's easy to solve the halting problem with a shotgun.   :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199801151836.KAA14656@wall.org>
%%
Well, I think Perl should run faster than C.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199801200306.TAA11638@wall.org>
%%
To Perl, or not to Perl, that is the kvetching.
             -- Larry Wall in <199801200310.TAA11670@wall.org>
%%
I suppose you could switch grammars once you've seen "use strict subs".  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199804140117.SAA02006@wall.org>
%%
Well, you know, Hubbard had a bunch of people sworn to commit suicide
when he died.  So of course he never officially died...
             -- Larry Wall in <199804141540.IAA05247@wall.org>
%%
Even the White House has a press agent.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199804150048.RAA08083@wall.org>
%%
That's a valid argument.  I just don't think it's valid enough.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199804150050.RAA08093@wall.org>
%%
Perl should remain fast and intuitive (to the extent that it is :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199804151704.KAA12290@wall.org>
%%
I would estimate that the number of programs it breaks in the world
will be less than 10.  As long as one of those 10 isn't CGI.pm, we're
probably okay.
             -- Larry Wall in <199804161805.LAA18882@wall.org>
%%
Just put in another goto, and then it'll be readable.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199804161810.LAA18902@wall.org>
%%
Doing linear scans over an associative array is like trying to club
someone to death with a loaded Uzi.
             -- Larry Wall
%%
I'm reminded of the day my daughter came in, looked over my shoulder at
some Perl 4 code, and said, "What is that, swearing?"
             -- Larry Wall in <199806181642.JAA10629@wall.org>
%%
Y'know, there are other possibilities if we assume that filenames
are UTF-8...yikes...wait, put down that meat cleaver!  Aieeee!!!
             -- Larry Wall in <199806181655.JAA10702@wall.org>
%%
    print rand rand rand 1, "\n";	# interesting distribution
             -- Larry Wall in <199806191536.IAA19013@wall.org>
%%
: I could understand principles of Perl source in 2-3 days [. . .]

Gee, it took me about eleven years.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199806200201.TAA22277@wall.org>
%%
There's often more than one correct thing.
There's often more than one right thing.
There's often more than one obvious thing.
             -- Larry Wall in <199806201726.KAA26569@wall.org>
%%
I don't believe I've ever cuddled my elses.
             -- Larry Wall in <199806221550.IAA07171@wall.org>
%%
I've always maintained a cordial dislike for indent, because it's usually
right.
             -- Larry Wall in <199806221558.IAA07251@wall.org>
%%
I'd make people say 'use Fork;' if I thought I could get away with it.
             -- Larry Wall in <199806232054.NAA01735@wall.org>
%%
The way I see it, if you declare something portable, you'll always be
wrong, and if you declare it non-portable, you'll always be right.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199806232215.PAA02356@wall.org>
%%
Perhaps you should compile your Perl with long doubles one of these
megaseconds.
             -- Larry Wall in <199806241734.KAA09652@wall.org>
%%
But we can both blame it all on Henry.
             -- Larry Wall on perl's regex engine
%%
: Why Bible quotes exclusively?  What happened to the Eastern religions?

I'm still working on the Unicode mods.
             -- Larry Wall in <199807021924.MAA05380@wall.org>
%%
Maybe we should take a clue from FTP and put in an option like "print
hash marks on every 1024 iterations".  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199807171819.LAA13771@wall.org>
%%
And besides, if Perl really takes off in the Windows space, I think the
rest of us would just as soon have a double-agent within ActiveState.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199807172334.QAA18255@wall.org>
%%
The court finds everyone to be in contempt (including himself :-), and
orders everyone sentenced to five years hard labor.  (Working on Perl,
of course.)
             -- Larry Wall in <199807211548.IAA26184@wall.org>
%%
I note that the Python folks still think they like JPython.  I wonder
how long that will last?
             -- Larry Wall in <199808050009.RAA22631@wall.org>
%%
I view the JVM as just another architecture that Perl ought to be ported to.
(That, and the Underwood typewriter...)
             -- Larry Wall in <199808050415.VAA24026@wall.org>
%%
So please don't think I have a "down" on the MVS people.  I'm just pulling
off their arms to beat other people over the head with.
             -- Larry Wall in <199808050415.VAA24026@wall.org>
%%
It's, uh, pseudo code.  Yeah, that's the ticket...
[...]
And "unicode" is pseudo code for $encoding.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199808071717.KAA12628@wall.org>
%%
: What do people think?
What, do people think?  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199808071736.KAA12738@wall.org>
%%
Well, sure, I explicitly mentioned "vtables" last time I brought this
up.  But a single pointer is fairly paltry, as tables go.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199808170117.SAA19369@wall.org>
%%
I dunno.  Perhaps you should be happy that I have a policy of refraining
from grumbling about handicapped operating systems.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199808291719.KAA12244@wall.org>
%%
Perl did not get where it is by ignoring psychological factors.
             -- Larry Wall in <199809031634.JAA26895@wall.org>
%%
On the plus side, it's a lot easier in general to find /usr/include than cpp.
             -- Larry Wall in <199809041612.JAA05556@wall.org>
%%
Psychotics are consistently inconsistent.  The essence of sanity is
to be inconsistently inconsistent.
             -- Larry Wall in <199809041918.MAA06850@wall.org>
%%
That which hits the fan tends to get flung in all directions.
             -- Larry Wall in <199809091801.LAA15194@wall.org>
%%
If this were Ada, we'd simply doc it as "erroneous".
             -- Larry Wall in <199809111734.KAA28296@wall.org>
%%
So I'm thinking about ??, or !!, or //, or \\, or whatever.  But I
think I like ?? the best so far.  Or the least worst.
             -- Larry Wall in <199809150037.RAA17580@wall.org>
%%
One operator is no big deal.  That can be fixed in a jiffy.
             -- Larry Wall in <199809151814.LAA22396@wall.org>
%%
In Clintonese, that would be "You are free to infer that I was saying
that."  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199809222305.QAA17574@wall.org>
%%
Would you trust the linguistic intuitions of someone who has been
studying Latin or Greek for three days?
             -- Larry Wall in <199809230518.WAA19312@wall.org>
%%
But I know what's important to me, and what isn't.  And I think I know what
people can get used to, and what they can even learn to like.  (It just takes
some people longer than others. :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199809230518.WAA19312@wall.org>
%%
My arthritic pinkies are already starting to ache just thinking about ||||=.
             -- Larry Wall in <199809251659.JAA06689@wall.org>
%%
Orthogonality for orthogonality's sake is not something I'm keen on.
             -- Larry Wall in <199809260112.SAA17178@wall.org>
%%
Hmm, doubtful.  The source code generally wasn't there when I needed it.
             -- Larry Wall when asked if he learned Perl from the perl source
%%
Must be a different Larry Wall.  There are at least 137 of us in the U.S.
             -- Larry Wall in <199809300035.RAA12495@wall.org>
%%
Symmetry is overrated.  Overrated is symmetry.
             -- Larry Wall in <6vhq4r$a6i@kiev.wall.org>
%%
That is a known bug in 5.00550.  Either an upgrade or a downgrade will
fix it.
             -- Larry Wall in <6vu1vo$89c@kiev.wall.org>
%%
That being said, I think we should immediately deprecate any string
concatenation that combines "19" with "99".   :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199811242002.MAA26850@wall.org>
%%
The Golden Gate wasn't our fault either, but we still put a bridge across it.
             -- Larry Wall in <199811242253.OAA28167@wall.org>
%%
It should be illegal to yell "Y2K" in a crowded economy.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <199811242326.PAA28495@wall.org>
%%
One thing I do understand is that people get scared when I start
thinking out loud.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <20031212010945.GB29594@wall.org>
%%
: No comment, since this is still hovering (see Larry's reply).

Flutter, flutter.
             -- Larry Wall in <20031213005325.GE7605@wall.org>
%%
We don't have enough parallel universes to allow all uses of all
junction types--in the absence of quantum computing the combinatorics
are not in our favor...
             -- Larry Wall in <20031213210102.GE18685@wall.org>
%%
Accidental stacks considered harmful.
             -- Larry Wall in <20031213202246.GD18685@wall.org>
%%
I try not to confuse roles and traits in my own life.  Being the Perl
god is a role.  Being a stubborn cuss is a trait.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <20031215021442.GA4012@wall.org>
%%
And in the limiting case where the optimizer is completely broken because
it's not implemented yet, we get to work around that too.  Optionally...
             -- Larry Wall in <20031217195433.GB31020@wall.org>
%%
I think I'm happier with that.  $rubyometer += 0.3 or so.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <20031219184224.GA19865@wall.org>
%%
Then people who believe only in Interfaces can use the same
underlying system-defined Roles without compromising their
Java-bedeviled value system.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <20040217163036.GA30527@wall.org>
%%
Well, some of that relates to the fact that last year I basically
had to take half a year off to participate in various non-optional
gastric revisions.
             -- Larry Wall in <20040226192647.GA11151@wall.org>
%%
Execute!  (I hope that's the right word...)
             -- Larry Wall in <20040302065954.GA12495@wall.org>
%%
Yes, I'm a megalomaniac to think that I can set a better standard than
the French...  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <20040303205940.GA24064@wall.org>
%%
"Best effort" is one of those phrases that doesn't mean what it means...
             -- Larry Wall in <20040316024220.GB3367@wall.org>
%%
I recommend not remaking my mistakes.  Please make different mistakes.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <20040317192052.GA10645@wall.org>
%%
Biologist: What's worse than being chased by a Velociraptor?
Physicist: Obviously, being chased by an Acceloraptor.
             -- Larry Wall in A12
%%
Python's syntax succeeds in combining the mistakes of Lisp and Fortran.
I do not contrue that as progress.
             -- Larry Wall in <20040512161005.GB3902@wall.org>
%%
Backtracking is a wonderful concept till you have to do it.
             -- Larry Wall in <20040624192459.GE24759@wall.org>
%%
But let me put this on the record: I specifically disrecommend use of
grammar tweaks that will incite lynch mobs.  You have been warned.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <20040709193138.GA21997@wall.org>
%%
You might as well write your warning in Russian for all the good
it'll do.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <20040710010945.GC32394@wall.org>
%%
: I'm about to learn myself perl6 (after using perl5 for some time).

I'm also trying to learn perl6 after using perl5 for some time.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <20040709202041.GA23451@wall.org>
%%
I suppose that :byte could also take an argument to force a particular
old-style (single-byte) locale, if we choose to support them, and are
willing to take the consequences of Jarkko going postal.  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <20040712184548.GA19937@wall.org>
%%
One error message that would be of great benefit to novices is if we
could guess where the missing brace is based on indentation.  (But not
*assuming* the missing brace, of course--this isn't Python...  :-)
             -- Larry Wall in <20040714172318.GA21069@wall.org>
%%
Just don't anyone suggest that we indicate what's modified *syntactically*
by placing the adverb directly under it...  Yow.  Two-dimensional programs.
Reminds me of BF...  Maybe we should just pass this suggestion on to
Guido...  :-)      -- Larry Wall in <20040714181005.GB23830@wall.org>
%%
Two-dimensional parsing is fun...
             -- Larry Wall in <20040721231814.GA30798@wall.org>
%%
It'd be really nice to find a way to explain continuations to people
without inflicting the typical torturous explanations on people who
aren't interested in brain pretzels.
             -- Larry Wall
%%
People can't see the ferment in my mind. What they see externally has to be
filtered through my verbal apparatus, which is actually quite limited. I
often think that my verbal processor is a slow interpreter. My wife's verbal
processor is a fast compiler.       -- Larry Wall, 8th State of the Onion
%%
I don't have ADHD. I tend to perseverate and not get distracted when I
should get distracted . . . My good friend Tom Christiansen, who does have
ADHD, once said jokingly that I have "task-switching deficit" disorder.
             -- Larry Wall, 8th State of the Onion
%%
Anyway, please don't anyone take offense at my free associations. Even
if they're true.
             -- Larry Wall, 8th State of the Onion
%%
You know how people are sometimes rude on Usenet or on a mailing list.
Sometimes they'll write something that can only be taken as a deadly insult,
and then they have the unmitigated gall to put a smiley face on it, as if
that makes it all right.      -- Larry Wall, 8th State of the Onion
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Personally, Rorschach blots always look like butterflies to me.  Or
pelvis bones, I admit it.
             -- Larry Wall, 8th State of the Onion
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Another way to look at it is that screensavers are sort of a poor man's
LSD, without the bad trips.
             -- Larry Wall, 8th State of the Onion
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I had really weird dreams on morphine [after having a tumor removed].
Didn't like those screensavers. But a wonderful poem came to me -- it
started out "In Xanadu did Kubla Khan a stately pleasure dome decree."
But I can't remember the rest of it. -- Larry Wall, 8th State of the Onion
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Maybe I'm a little bit crazy, but I can't decide if it's psychotic or
neurotic. You know the difference, don't you? A psychotic thinks that
2 + 2 = 5. A neurotic knows that 2 + 2 = 4, but it makes him nervous.
             -- Larry Wall, 8th State of the Onion
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The interesting thing was that while I was watching, they forked. You know,
like BSD. One group of cuttlefish went off one way, and the other group went
off another. Maybe they had a personality conflict. Maybe they had a fight
over licensing. I dunno.       -- Larry Wall, 8th State of the Onion
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Are you going to bother to set up an unspoofable identity for every
shirt in your closet?
             -- Larry Wall, 8th State of the Onion
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In any event, the real geeks will probably just have the screen
tattooed on their chest. Or their stomachs. Teletubbies "R" us.
             -- Larry Wall, 8th State of the Onion
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We're a hospital of people helping each other, performing random acts
of beauty for each other, even when no one is watching but God.
             -- Larry Wall, 8th State of the Onion
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These days I may be missing the bottom of my stomach, but I still have
the bottom of my heart. So I would like to thank you from the bottom of
my heart for being precisely who you are.
             -- Larry Wall, 8th State of the Onion
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The problem with a thesaurus is that it only gives you synonyms, not the
word you really want.  :-)
    -- Larry Wall in <20041204185741.GA16358@wall.org>
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It's kinda funny to watch the Parrot folks reinventing a similar scheme.
(Er, no pun intended.  Really!)
    -- Larry Wall in <20041204193310.GC16358@wall.org>
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 ...a Lazy has to be aware of when it is out of values, and when it should
call into some meta-Lazy for more iterator values.  And I suppose that
meta-Lazy could in turn have a meta-meta-Lazy, which could have a
meta-meta-meta-Lazy, and now my brane hurts.   -- Larry Wall
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Appearances to the contrary notwithstanding, I'm not trying to break
Perl 5 constructs just for the heck of it.
    -- Larry Wall in <20041206220054.GA10212@wall.org>
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Well, hey, we'll have to leave some of the programming up to you.  :-)
    -- Larry Wall in <20050212184643.GA20059@wall.org>
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Personally I'm looking forward to seeing what the .mathematica method
spits out for a junction, but maybe I'll have to settle for a .apl
method instead.
    -- Larry Wall in <20050216071655.GC3909@wall.org>
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It is my persistent belief (and fond hope) that theory and practice
don't always have to pull in opposite directions.
    -- Larry Wall in <20050216183411.GA24492@wall.org>
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The human psyche is a mishmash of rules of thumb, and Einstein's thumb
is only two of them.
    -- Larry Wall in <20050217173835.GB26246@wall.org>
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My assertion that we can do better with computer languages is a
persistent belief and fond hope, but you'll note I don't actually
claim to be either rational or right.  Except when it's convenient.  :-)
    -- Larry Wall in <20050217173835.GB26246@wall.org>
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How long before someone writes $x.ugly('Python'), I wonder...
    -- Larry Wall in <20050217181027.GD26246@wall.org>
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Bare S-expressions won't work in standard Perl, of course, unless you
make "(foo" parse like some kind of reserved word for a known set of
"foo".  I'm sure if you did that someone would consider it perverse.
    -- Larry Wall in <20050221193216.GE409@wall.org>
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The semantics of alcohol don't change when you reach drinking age.
Only the pragmatics change.
    -- Larry Wall in <20050221191846.GD409@wall.org>
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I think so--a pair can always pretend to be a very small hash.
    -- Larry Wall in <20050221175223.GA409@wall.org>
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 ...sometimes collections of stupid utterances can be rather clever.  If
my writings are ever published posthumously, they should probably be
called "A Collection of Stupid Utterances", or some such...  :-)
    -- Larry Wall in <20050303163144.GA5235@wall.org>
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But at some point you just give up and call it cheating, er,
I mean, AOP.  :-)
    -- Larry Wall in <20050307173849.GA16558@wall.org>
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I'm not consistent about consistency, you see, except when I am...
And I try to believe six foolish consistencies before breakfast each day. :-)
    -- Larry Wall in <20050307164019.GA14585@wall.org>
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Uh, yeah.  Obviously, 11 pm is still to early in the day for me...
    -- Larry Wall in <20050308071002.GA1069@wall.org>
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I have no opinion on its suitability for any particular task.  I'm just
the language designer--my job is to shoot you in the foot and make you
think you did it to yourself.  :-)
    -- Larry Wall in <20050309170804.GA22973@wall.org>
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That's...sick...  I love it.  *Please* don't tell Damian.
    -- Larry Wall in <20050309180300.GF22973@wall.org>
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Sex is fun, but it probably doesn't solve all your problems.
    -- Larry Wall in <20050309192903.GA27250@wall.org>
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You have the irritating habit of asking good questions I don't have
an easy answer for.  Please don't stop.
    -- Larry Wall in <20050314165932.GA12577@wall.org>
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But maybe we could try to set some slushiness milestones on the road to
hell freezing over...
    -- Larry Wall in <20050314165932.GA12577@wall.org>
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Oh, right--I'd better learn to read Perl 6 one of these days.  :-)
    -- Larry Wall in <20050316201700.GB31121@wall.org>
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That's what Sleepy Brain says.  But Coffee Brain despises Sleepy Brain.  :-)
    -- Larry Wall in <20050317164126.GA28021@wall.org>
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fail("Language designer not persuaded");    # :-)
    -- Larry Wall in <20050327054109.GC25664@wall.org>
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If I thought that I could design a language that will never disappoint
anyone, I'd be a lot stupider than I already think I am, I think.
    -- Larry Wall in <20050328202308.GA21733@wall.org>
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And you can still put in all that cruft if you want to.  You can even
force yourself to have to do it.  But to me, it feels a bit like slavery,
so I'm still looking for a land flowing with milk and honey, even if
there are a few giants in it.  -- Larry Wall
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As long as "we" includes "you", that's fine by "me".  :-)
    -- Larry Wall in <20050330171201.GA22184@wall.org>
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Clear conceptual splits often hide false dichotomies.
    -- Larry Wall in <20050330195322.GB22184@wall.org>
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Birds naturally prefer early binding to late binding; worms will
naturally disagree.  Rolling stones gather no type constraints.
    -- Larry Wall in <20050330195322.GB22184@wall.org>
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Hmm, where there's a way, there's a will, I guess.
    -- Larry Wall in <20050413040733.GA5986@wall.org>
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It's not designed to make people happy who want to confuse those
issues.  We have macros for that.
    -- Larry Wall in <20050419155213.GC19507@wall.org>
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Is that enough muddy thinking for one morning?
    -- Larry Wall in <20050419155213.GC19507@wall.org>
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It seems like a sane thing to me, but that's a rather low standard.
    -- Larry Wall in <20050419150023.GA19507@wall.org>
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: I hope I never have to design my own language. I would be schizophrenic
: before the day ends.
That's backwards.  You have to be schizophrenic before the day starts.
    -- Larry Wall in <20050419150023.GA19507@wall.org>
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Hmm.  What would it mean to goto a class?
    -- Larry Wall in <20050420185445.GC766@wall.org>
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In any event (no pun intended), I've always wondered how it is you
can "kill" a process with a SIGCONT.  As long as we're fixing everything
else, maybe we can fix Unix too.  :-)
    -- Larry Wall in <20050420171135.GD29671@wall.org>
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Or I suppose we could always recontextualize the meaning of "is"
instead.  There is prior art...
    -- Larry Wall in <20050420192727.GF766@wall.org>
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Dude, nowadays we're trying to make Perl 6 more Unicode aware, not
less; /usr/share/dict/words is so, like, monocultural, and stuff.
    -- Larry Wall in <20050420194147.GH766@wall.org>
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Anything is *possible* in PUGS.  :-)
    -- Larry Wall in <20050420205201.GD3971@wall.org>
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sub eval_C ($proggie) { CGrammar.top($proggie).compile.link.run.dump.gdb }
    -- Larry Wall in <20050420220706.GA6265@wall.org>
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It might do what you mean.  Personally, I would never mean that if I
could help it.  :-)
    -- Larry Wall in <20050421225012.GA12790@wall.org>
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But I'm sure some will argue that's too subtle.  (Hi, @Larry<Damian>.)
    -- Larry Wall in <20050423013102.GA21941@wall.org>
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We're still discussing it on @Larry, but I think we can make that work.
    -- Larry Wall in <20050503004247.GA7342@wall.org>
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Yes, it's a slippery slope.  No, we are not sliding all the way down
it.  And it's just as easy to slide up this slope as well as down, and
end up with Lisp rather than APL.  Neither extreme is healthy.
    -- Larry Wall in <20050504165510.GB7407@wall.org>
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Almost nothing in the design of Perl 6 is there for a single purpose.
    -- Larry Wall in <20050504165510.GB7407@wall.org>
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I think a p6explain would be a rather popular program.
    -- Larry Wall in <20050505050259.GA25468@wall.org>
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Every day it gets a little harder to distinguish my senility from
my insanity...
    -- Larry Wall in <20050507200008.GC27695@wall.org>
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The compiler is not immutable; it is a means to an end.
And the end I am imagining is one that I cannot imagine.
    -- Larry Wall in <20050514164301.GA13727@wall.org>
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There's more than one method to our madness.
    -- Larry Wall in <20050614192549.GB17779@wall.org>
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The stupid people are the ones proposing to outlaw stupidity.  :-)
    -- Larry Wall in <20050708031759.GB3727@wall.org>
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Of course, if we make the MMD rules sufficiently complicated, we'll just have
to make the warning spit out a spreadsheet to show the calculations.  Then we
hide all that behind an interview process, just like all our wonderful tax
preparation software...  -- Larry Wall in <20050708185704.GA12164@wall.org>
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My suggestion would be to assume that the Apocalypses are primarily
intended to be entertaining rather than factual. :-)
    -- Larry Wall in <20050809221810.GA31369@wall.org>
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Wheelbarrow is a scavenger. That is to say, he's a sysadmin.
    -- Larry Wall in The State of the Onion 9
%%