TEMTGHC

I only play true ethical MTG hardcore. I destroy every meta card I open because it is unethical to keep it. When my deck loses, I destroy every card in my collection because it's not true ethical MTG hardcore otherwise. I rip apart every Mythic I pull because it is unrealistic to ever pull a Mythic rare in true ethical MTG hardcore. I've banned Super Friends from my local EDH playgroup because Planeswalkers are unethical powerhouses. Every time I open a foil, I immediately use it in a random deck to increase the challenge. I've had /r/MagicTCG and MTGSalvation blacklisted since I opened my first beta pack back in 93, because player interaction gave too much advantage. I've sent at least 84 emails to WoTC support over the years asking for bans on cards like Island and Counterspell. I read and listen to every flavor text, drive to work podcast, DailyMTG article to fully immerse myself in the true ethical MTG hardcore experience. Every time I go into this general and read the word "meta", "trading", "force of will", "deck velocity", "JTMS", so on and so on, I make sure to thrust my giant vibrating dildo one to three times to punish myself accordingly for tainting my TEMTGHC experience. I've stolen at least a dozen credit cards from my parents to pay for the 3,250 booster boxes that I have bought to show my support for WoTC and the true hardcore game that they have developed. It deeply saddens me that Finkel left, he was the only one that spoke only truth. Why do you self-proclaimed MTG hardcores even try to pretend that you're truly MTG hardcore? You make me fucking sick.