NOT PLANNED ON A WHIM STIR FRY
And you couldn't bring eggs because you motorcycled to the store

PRE-PREP:
    1. Go to Asian grocery with no recipe in mind and assorted leftovers
    2. Buy what looks colorful and good
    3. Get home and find carrots in crisper

PREP:
Pre-cook pork
    1. Buy riblets that you thought were boneless
    2. Throw in pressure cooker for 12m with some water
    3. When they're done, pull the meat off the bones
Combine aromatics
    1. Dice carrots
    2. Mince cilantro, parsley, Thai basil
    3. Microplane garlic, ginger
    4. Combine
Prep mushrooms
    1. Take out of bag
    2. Chop the bottom stem part off
Chop jicama
    1. Roughly chop jicama into 1/2" cubes
    2. All of it
    3. Realize you bought too much
    4. Leave 3/4 of it in the fridge as snacks
Shred red cabbage
    1. Buy red cabbage
    2. It's also way too much
    3. Shred half of it
    4. You didn't buy gallon bags again
    5. Wrap the remaining half in saran wrap to be forgotten in fridge

COOK:
(You have an electric stove that is not hot enough and a medium sized wok, so do all of this in batches or your stuff won't get hot enough and you'll stew it)
(Always stir frequently, keep stove on high, close to smoke point, unless told otherwise)
Crisp pork
    1. Add peanut oil (high smoke point) to wok
    2. Cook until crispy on two sides, stirring frequently
    3. Take pork out and set aside
Cook aromatics
    1. Add peanut oil to wok
    3. Add all the aromatics
    4. Wait until they smell really good, about a minute, stirring frequently
    5. Remove and set aside
Cook mushrooms
    1. Throw mushrooms in without oil
    2. Cook on _medium_
    3. Wait for them to start releasing water, about 2m
    4. Leave in pan
Cook jicama
    1. Toss in with mushrooms
    2. Turn stove to high
    3. Cook for 2m until edges are translucent
    4. Remove all and set aside
Cook cabbage and sugar snap peas
    1. Throw cabbage and peas in wok
    3. Add oil
    4. Cook for 2m until peas are bright green but cabbage is still crispy
    5. Set aside

COMBINE:
Toss it all in a big bowl and stir it up
You need to do this to be able to finish it in batches

COOK AGAIN:
(Stove on high, don't add oil, there's enough oil in there)
(Don't forget to cook in batches)
    1. Toss everything into the wok
    2. Add 1/2 cup oyster sauce per batch
    3. Add 1/4 cup soy sauce
    4. Add 2 tbsp fish sauce
    5. Add salt, white pepper to taste
    6. Stir until the sauce reduces
    7. Add more stuff to taste