This is What Fatties Have Reduced American Cinema To

Hollywood these days is a shadow of its former self.  No longer can we go to a cinema and expect to enjoy a quality film such as Singin’ in the Rain or North by Northwest.  Clearly, American film has degraded and just about everything that comes out of Hollywood Is complete garbage.  What happened?  Did the directors just run out of ideas?  Nope, that’s not it.  The fatties got to the movie industry.

I was rudely reminded of such last night.  I was out on a date with a girl I wanted to fuck.  I didn’t want to see a movie because I figured it was probably going to be shit like all these modern films are, but she really wanted to see one complete with the begging and whining, so being the gentleman that I am, I took her to the movie theater.  Since I didn’t give a shit, I let her choose the movie.  She chose Zookeeper, which just opened last night.  Big fucking mistake.  Men, take note of my experience here; never let the female you go out with decide what you two do or what movie you to see if you go to one.  I got lazy and apathetic, and thus I paid the price.

When she chose, I didn’t notice that it was the new Kevin James movie.  I watched his previous movie Paul Blart: Mall Cop that my friend pirated (no way we’d give money to such a disgusting film).  God what a stupid film that was.  I couldn’t watch it for longer than 15 minutes, it’s about some fatty who can’t make it as a regular cop because he can’t pass the fitness test, so he becomes a mall cop.  This Zookeeper movie was more or less the same.  Kevin James plays his usual fat and disgusting self and then he finds this attractive girl, so in order to win her over he tries to get a better job because his fat loser ass doesn’t make shit working at the zoo.  But the animals at the zoo don’t want that (they probably want to eat him for all that lard in his body and the ease of taking him down, I know I would if I were a lion), so they convince him to stay and try to help the fatty be “smooth” to win her over with his newly found style.  Yeah, at that point, some 15 to 20 minutes into the movie I got up and left.  I was disgusted.  I told the girl I was with I’m going to the bathroom (presumably to vomit) and just ditched her there.  Fuck her.  A girl who wants to see a movie like that isn’t worthy of getting fucked by me.

I didn’t even need to watch the rest of the movie to know everything about it.  It’s the same shit.  Fart jokes, fatty glorification, and all that, complete with the fat ass miraculously getting the hot girl to fall in love with him.  Aww… isn’t that cute? *gag*

In all seriousness, it’s disgusting.  Fart jokes and fatty glorification is what Hollywood has become reduced to.  Most Americans these days, particularly the movie-going ones, are fat, so the movie industry has seen fit to pander to this demographic.  They fulfill their fantasies time and again in the most cliché format, with the fat guy overcoming his repulsiveness and somehow winning the hot girl he lusts over.  Of course, Hollywood doesn’t show their sexual encounter, where they’d have to face the grim reality of her learning that the fatty can’t keep it up for longer than 5 minutes without getting a heart attack.  But hey, that wouldn’t fit in with Hollywood’s fatty glorification message.  Hollywood these days is promoting fatties and fat tolerance.  It’s sick.  Go watch Ricky Gervais in The Invention of Lying, Jonah Hill in Superbad, or Zach Galifianakis in any movie.  It’s all about fatty glorification and pandering to fatties.  It makes me want to vomit.

This is what American cinema has been reduced to.  If you want to see good looking people you can look up to in your films, you need to go back 40+ years ago to find those movies.  This is just yet another example of how fatties hurt us all.  Those fat pieces of shit have destroyed a respectable fine art.