What Men Want (2019)

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Subtitles by explosiveskull

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<i>Hello? Hello, Glenn.
It's Ali Davis.</i>

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<i>Yes, baby! I'm excited, too.
But wait, what?</i>

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<i>Yes, I know</i> Sports Illustrated
<i>wants Serena for June,</i>

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<i>but before we talk about that client,
we need to talk about Lisa Leslie,</i>

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who will be front and center
at the shoot.

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What? Oh, oh, no.
No, this ain't a negotiation.

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It's center position or tall-ass
girl ain't showing up for the shoot!

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<i>Big news in basketball.</i>

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<i>College sensation Jamal Barry
declared himself eligible</i>

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- <i>for the NBA draft.</i>
- What? Excuse me,

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- I am her agent.
- <i>He has not yet signed with an agent.</i>

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Oh, no, no.
Glenn, don't go there with me.

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What'd you say? Oh, no, no.
No, no, no.

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Oh, you. No. No, no, no, no.

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No, no, no.
Glenn, no, you listen!

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Unless Lisa is guaranteed
center position in writing,

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you'd better learn
how to Photoshop

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because you ain't gonna have
any of my clients

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in your magazine ever again!

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You know what? Goodbye.

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I'm not dealing
with stupid people today.

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- Good morning?
- Good morning.

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Oh, he's calling back!

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You know what? Can you deal
with the slow people today?

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I can't.

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Hey, Glenn,
let me see if I can get her.

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You know what? She just stepped out.

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I'll have her return.
Buh-bye.

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How long have you been up?

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Ooh, since 3:00 a.m.,
and I've been crushing it all morning,

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talking to Nike and Puma.

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But I've decided I'm going
to take Candace to Adidas,

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because they stepped up.

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- You're dinging.
- Oh, no, stop it.

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Please stop. Here, stop it!

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Go away!

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Mari created this
Lovefinders.com profile for me.

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Can you please get rid of it?

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All these stupid alerts
keep coming up.

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- I will have it taken down ASAP.
- Mm-hmm.

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If that's definitely
what you want?

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That is definitely what I want.

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Okay. It's just...
It's been a minute.

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Uh, how would you know?

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- Well, I keep your calendar.
- Booty calls aren't in there.

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Just please do
what I ask you to do.

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Thank you. Ooh, I got to go.

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Dry cleaning is here,
and I really feel like

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the black skirt,
houndstooth jacket screams,

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"Damn right you're making me partner!
Took you bitches long enough."

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You know what, Brandon?
Just because you're gay,

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doesn't mean you're fabulous,
okurrr?

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- Okurr.
- It's "okurrr."

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I... I can't even...

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Come on, honey, walk like you
are an assistant to a partner.

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- Mm-hmm.
- Let's go.

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Holy Mother of <i>Men's Health and
Fitness,</i> what is happening here?

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Oh, that's my new neighbor.

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Captain Fucktastic, that's what
I've been calling him. Right?

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Yeah.

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- Hi.
- Hi. Hi.

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Such a nice day for a jog.

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I like running.
I just don't like running alone.

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He's gay.

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Anyone seen the new Gaga video?

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No, he's not.

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God.

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Not even a sideways eye fuck.
Nada.

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What's going on in his head?

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What, my ass doesn't look good
in this skirt?

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Oh, given
the current climate,

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it feels inappropriate
for me to comment on your body.

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- Brandon!
- Tight as a snare drum.

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You could bounce a quarter
off that thing.

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You know what? Screw him.

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- Today's my day. I'm making partner, baby.
- Mm-hmm!

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And no man,
I don't care how fucktastic,

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is gonna kill my vibe.

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<i>It's Mari,</i>

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<i>she says she wants you
to bring champagne</i>

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<i>to the bachelorette party
'cause Olivia's always sucks.</i>

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<i>Okay, Bridezilla, take a Xanax.</i>

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So, seeing as how today's
the big day and all,

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I was wondering if,
once you get bumped up to partner,

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you might...
see any changes in store for me?

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Look,
you make a great assistant,

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but you'd be a shitty agent.

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And I say that
with love.

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I know, right? Totally.

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Luckily, I'm blissfully happy
just being your assistant...

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Good.

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...in perpetuity.

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Ooh, hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo.

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Check out
the sweet new wheels.

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A pre-celebration
for the big day, huh?

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No, Ethan. Just...
another day at the office.

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- Rolling calls, crushing balls.
- Good morning, Ms. Davis.

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Ah, ladies first. Thank you.

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I mean, this should've
happened years ago.

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It's crazy that I'm a
partner and you're not

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just 'cause I signed Matt Ryan.
I mean, come on!

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I mean, in fairness to me,
monster signing, but still...

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Yeah, you're right, Ethan.
It is crazy.

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That's what I said.

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Well, I'm rooting for you.

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- Fingers crossed, right?
- Thanks, Ethan.

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I can't.

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Ali Davis's office. Hi, Mari.

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Mari says she knows you're here.

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She has a quick
bachelorette party question.

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Tell her I'm all good
for tomorrow night.

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Text me any specifics.
But be supportive, you know.

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Make it sound like I wish
I had time to shoot the shit.

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Hey, girl. Ali can't wait to get it.
It's gonna be a partay.

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Hey, hey, pop quiz!
What is being kicked today?

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- A world of ass!
- Boom!

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- Sorry.
- Staff meeting in five.

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I swear to God, bro,
don't fuck with me!

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Fuck you, bro! I'll rip out
your eyes and fuck the sockets!

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I'll fuck your mom!

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Ad agency exec?

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Oh, no, it's my brother.

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Yeah, we're doing that whole
fantasy football prep.

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Anyway, want a doughnut?

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Sure. Thanks.

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Hey. It's always good
to see you guys.

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It always brightens my day.

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Oh, thanks, Danny.

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You said you were gonna
fuck your brother's ma?

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- Our mom, yeah.
- Uh-huh. Okay.

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So, we're laying in bed
and she says,

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"Do you even know my name?"

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- No clue, right? None.
- I have no clue.

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So, I pretend to be
all appalled by this.

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I run off to the bathroom,
I sneak to the kitchen,

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I start looking
through her mail,

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I find
a Bed Bath & Beyond coupon.

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I'm buck naked, mind you.
She comes in, I go,

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"Oh, good morning,
uh, Resident."

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And knowing you, Kevin,
you kept the coupon.

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You know I did.

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Story gets better,
I'll finish it later.

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Oh, come on, Ali can handle
locker-room talk. Right, bro?

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Yeah, I'm sure you'll get the
X-rated version at poker night.

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Why do you keep on this?
There's no poker night.

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If there was a poker night,
we would invite you

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'cause I'd like
to take your money.

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- Really?
- No poker night.

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None, nada, zip!

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Ooh, I'ma need you to calm down,
baby man child.

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Mm.

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Looking like Bamm-Bamm.

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Boom! Seize the day, right?

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That's why we're here.

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We seize the day here at Summit!
That's right!

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That's right! Good to see you!
How you doing?

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You keep telling yourself that.

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All right. Gentlemen...

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Headline news:

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Jamal Barry will be the
number-one pick in the NBA draft,

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and he's meeting
with agents.

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Now, I love Jamal.

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Not only because
he's a big-time player,

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but he's a franchise maker.

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But Jamal does come
with some baggage.

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Dear old dad.

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Guy legally
changed his name to Joe Dolla,

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which he's also calling his line
of nutritional supplements.

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So, now you know what we're up against.

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So, here's what we need.
We need to let him know

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that he'll have
the entire team around him.

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Because our teamwork
makes their dream work!

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- Whoo!
- That's right! All right!

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Now, speaking...
speaking of teamwork,

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I think we got ourselves...

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a championship ball.

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Right?

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And I think you know
what this means.

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That means somebody in this room
is about to be knighted.

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Now, that could be you.
Uh-huh.

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It could be you.

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You had a good year.

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But anyway,
before I name names...

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I got to say something
about this person.

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This person...

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is tough as nails,
plays with passion and grit.

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This person...

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has brass balls
when it comes to negotiations.

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Now, it's my honor
to confer title of partner

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to the person synonymous with
Summit Worldwide Management.

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Let's give it up for the newest
member of the partners club!

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Here you go! Eddie Allen!

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- Ali?
- Whoo!

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That's a great interception,
Ali, but that pass was to Eddie.

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- Yeah, he said "Eddie."
- Eddie, that's right.

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Pass that ball to Eddie. Eddie!
Eddie Allen, our new partner!

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Way to go, Eddie! Good job.

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- Great year!
- Yeah!

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- Eddie Allen, boys!
- Whoo!

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- That's our new partner!
- All right!

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Hand him the ball.
That's right. Give it up.

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You want to hand the ball
to Eddie.

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That's right. Hand the ball over.
That's right, there you are.

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- Eddie Allen! Congratulations to Eddie!
- Yeah! Whoo!

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That's teamwork right there!
Teamwork!

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Is this a joke, Nick? Huh?

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I mean, what the fuck do I
have to do to make partner?

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Breathe. Grab a Fiji.

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I mean, you know the deal.

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It has to be
unanimous partner approval.

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Okay. So who was it?
It was Kevin, wasn't it?

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00:09:57,289 --> 00:09:58,753
I knew it was Kevin.

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It's anonymous,
so I honestly couldn't tell you.

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This is bullshit. This is boys-club
bullshit, and you know it!

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Look, this is a meritocracy.

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So, you're not entitled
to be a partner.

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I'm sorry, "entitled"?

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Oh, well, you name someone who reps
more Olympic gold medalists than me.

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I have clients on the cover
of <i>Sports Illustrated</i> and <i>Vogue</i>

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in the same month!

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But you don't have any of
the big three clients, do you?

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The MLB, the NBA, the NFL.

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I mean,
Eddie signed Mitchell Trubisky.

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That's a number-one draft pick.

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Boom. Done.

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- Boom!
- Yeah.

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- Okay.
- Ali. Ali!

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Look.
So I'm gonna be honest with you.

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You don't connect well with men.

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That means you're doing great
in your lane.

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So, let's just stay
in your lane.

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- Okay?
- Okay. Are you finished?

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- Yeah, I'm good.
- Great.

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I have to go get back
in my female lane.

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Have a great day, dick...
I mean, Nick.

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What'd I say?

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Listen up, assholes!

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00:11:10,490 --> 00:11:13,854
I am personally going to sign
Jamal Barry.

240
00:11:13,856 --> 00:11:15,921
- Uhh.
- This is fair warning.

241
00:11:15,923 --> 00:11:19,453
Buckle up, backstabbing bitches.

242
00:11:29,223 --> 00:11:30,556
Hey, Ali, how you doing?

243
00:11:30,558 --> 00:11:32,421
Fan-fucking-tastic.
Couldn't be better!

244
00:11:32,423 --> 00:11:33,921
Hey, Skip!
Your daughter's here.

245
00:11:33,923 --> 00:11:35,219
Hey, Dad!

246
00:11:35,221 --> 00:11:36,620
- Hey, you're early.
- Yeah.

247
00:11:36,622 --> 00:11:37,520
Break.

248
00:11:39,089 --> 00:11:41,654
Doesn't look like you're headed
for a celebratory dinner.

249
00:11:41,656 --> 00:11:46,454
No, because they made
a 31-year-old suck-up partner.

250
00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:48,220
But I'm good, Daddy.
You know why?

251
00:11:48,222 --> 00:11:51,588
Because I go high
when they go low.

252
00:11:51,590 --> 00:11:54,386
- You want to talk about it?
- Yes, I want to talk!

253
00:11:54,388 --> 00:11:56,655
Let me just get
these hand wraps...

254
00:11:56,657 --> 00:12:01,287
These hand wraps are...
Gets me so...

255
00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:05,553
I work harder than all of 'em.
I do my job better.

256
00:12:05,555 --> 00:12:07,420
And they're still trying
to hold me down.

257
00:12:07,422 --> 00:12:10,286
They hit you,
you hit back even harder.

258
00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:12,353
You got you.

259
00:12:12,355 --> 00:12:14,786
You hear me? You got you.

260
00:12:14,788 --> 00:12:17,620
How am I supposed to fight a system
that's rigged against me, Daddy, huh?

261
00:12:17,622 --> 00:12:18,919
Tell me that!

262
00:12:18,921 --> 00:12:22,454
You deliver on your word.
You sign Jamal Barry.

263
00:12:22,456 --> 00:12:24,420
Then you're undeniable.

264
00:12:25,955 --> 00:12:27,821
You're right. You're right!

265
00:12:27,823 --> 00:12:29,020
Just shake the shit off.

266
00:12:29,557 --> 00:12:32,287
I got me. I got me.

267
00:12:33,155 --> 00:12:34,320
Come on.

268
00:12:35,191 --> 00:12:36,521
And soon...

269
00:12:37,322 --> 00:12:39,688
I'm gonna sign Jamal Barry.

270
00:12:39,690 --> 00:12:42,721
That's it,
that's it, that's it. Yeah.

271
00:12:44,023 --> 00:12:46,754
Yes! Break.

272
00:12:47,524 --> 00:12:49,586
- Good talk, good talk.
- Thanks, Daddy.

273
00:12:49,588 --> 00:12:52,622
- Oh! Ho-ho-ho!
- I didn't hear the bell.

274
00:12:52,624 --> 00:12:55,353
That's my girl. That's my girl.

275
00:12:55,355 --> 00:12:56,653
I love you.

276
00:12:57,090 --> 00:13:01,822
I can't believe I leased
that stupid expensive Porsche.

277
00:13:01,824 --> 00:13:05,287
I just knew
I was gonna get it this time.

278
00:13:06,025 --> 00:13:07,721
Fake it till you make it, girl.

279
00:13:10,357 --> 00:13:12,221
Who is that new bartender?

280
00:13:13,591 --> 00:13:15,888
Oh, that's Will.
He's been here a couple of months.

281
00:13:19,825 --> 00:13:22,923
Uh, you know what, Dad? I think I'm
gonna stay and have another drink.

282
00:13:22,925 --> 00:13:24,322
Uh-huh.

283
00:13:24,324 --> 00:13:25,923
- I got the bill, don't worry.
- Yeah, yeah.

284
00:13:25,925 --> 00:13:29,289
- Thank you for my pep talk.
- Oh, you're welcome.

285
00:13:32,491 --> 00:13:34,689
Don't look at me like that.

286
00:13:53,222 --> 00:13:54,320
Hi.

287
00:13:54,956 --> 00:13:55,954
Hi.

288
00:13:55,956 --> 00:13:57,720
So, what you mixing?

289
00:13:57,722 --> 00:14:00,786
How about a bespoke cocktail
tailored specifically for you?

290
00:14:00,788 --> 00:14:03,255
- For me?
- Let me just get a look at you.

291
00:14:04,522 --> 00:14:06,554
No, don't laugh.
Wait a minute.

292
00:14:06,556 --> 00:14:08,187
All right,
now turn this way.

293
00:14:08,189 --> 00:14:09,755
Turn the other way.

294
00:14:11,256 --> 00:14:13,287
Okay. I got you.

295
00:14:13,289 --> 00:14:14,820
Okay.

296
00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:19,153
Oh, oh, no, no, no,
I'm not a vodka girl.

297
00:14:19,155 --> 00:14:21,921
I really like whiskey.
I like dark.

298
00:14:21,923 --> 00:14:23,822
- Oh, do you?
- Mm-hmm.

299
00:14:23,824 --> 00:14:25,886
Would you go to a symphony,
hop up on stage

300
00:14:25,888 --> 00:14:28,222
and tell the conductor
he needs more cello?

301
00:14:28,224 --> 00:14:31,488
- Probably, but go ahead.
- Uh-huh.

302
00:14:36,323 --> 00:14:38,586
Okay. All right.

303
00:14:40,023 --> 00:14:42,422
I call this "The All You."

304
00:14:43,889 --> 00:14:45,021
All me.

305
00:14:45,023 --> 00:14:46,854
- All you.
- Mm-hmm.

306
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:51,755
Mmm.

307
00:14:52,156 --> 00:14:53,522
Mmm.

308
00:14:53,524 --> 00:14:56,320
This is really good.
Do I taste rose?

309
00:14:56,322 --> 00:14:59,455
You do. It's the cardamom rose syrup.
I make it myself.

310
00:14:59,457 --> 00:15:03,554
And it pairs perfectly with the Cîroc
you tried to get me to stop pouring.

311
00:15:07,391 --> 00:15:09,788
Um... Would you like to try it?

312
00:15:09,790 --> 00:15:12,889
I mean, if you don't mind
sharing my straw.

313
00:15:18,057 --> 00:15:19,055
Uh...

314
00:15:35,591 --> 00:15:37,756
Yeah.

315
00:15:38,525 --> 00:15:41,256
Where'd you say
your bedroom was? Huh?

316
00:15:41,258 --> 00:15:42,790
Oh! Over there?

317
00:15:42,792 --> 00:15:46,022
It's, uh...
somewhere back there.

318
00:15:46,024 --> 00:15:47,323
Go find it.

319
00:15:47,325 --> 00:15:49,689
Ooh, girl,
what I'm about to do to you!

320
00:15:49,691 --> 00:15:51,789
Yeah, show me, papi!

321
00:15:51,791 --> 00:15:53,055
Oh, yeah.

322
00:15:54,357 --> 00:15:56,024
- To the left.
- Wait.

323
00:15:56,026 --> 00:15:57,955
To the left. To the right, to the right!

324
00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:00,389
- Wait, hold...
- To the left!

325
00:16:00,391 --> 00:16:01,723
Ah! Can we talk about...

326
00:16:01,725 --> 00:16:04,522
- Oh!
- Ow! Ah, ah!

327
00:16:04,524 --> 00:16:06,989
Hold on! Ah...

328
00:16:07,389 --> 00:16:08,987
Uh!

329
00:16:09,924 --> 00:16:12,321
Uh... Okay.

330
00:16:12,323 --> 00:16:13,855
- Uh...
- Ooh.

331
00:16:18,524 --> 00:16:19,654
Oh!

332
00:16:19,656 --> 00:16:21,489
Oh, that's it!
Oh, my God!

333
00:16:21,491 --> 00:16:23,754
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!

334
00:16:23,756 --> 00:16:25,454
I can't breathe!
I can't breathe!

335
00:16:28,023 --> 00:16:30,455
Whoa! Ah! Ah!

336
00:16:30,457 --> 00:16:33,721
Ooh! Ooh, ooh.

337
00:16:33,723 --> 00:16:35,622
That was great.

338
00:16:42,156 --> 00:16:43,288
Yeah.

339
00:17:09,558 --> 00:17:11,355
- Who are you?
- I'm Ben.

340
00:17:11,357 --> 00:17:13,821
I hope it's okay
I borrowed your mask.

341
00:17:14,624 --> 00:17:17,088
Welcome to Wakanda.

342
00:17:20,089 --> 00:17:21,088
What?

343
00:17:21,090 --> 00:17:22,021
Hey, Ben.

344
00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:24,390
Ben. Ben! Oh, uh.

345
00:17:24,392 --> 00:17:26,056
Hey. Hey, buddy.

346
00:17:26,058 --> 00:17:27,890
I thought Brody's dad
was dropping you off at 10:00.

347
00:17:27,892 --> 00:17:29,355
It's 10:05.

348
00:17:29,357 --> 00:17:31,291
- 10:05...
- Oh, okay, uh...

349
00:17:31,293 --> 00:17:33,688
Go... Go play with some Legos.
Daddy's getting up.

350
00:17:33,690 --> 00:17:35,023
- Now go, go play.
- I... I need...

351
00:17:35,025 --> 00:17:37,322
- I need my, uh, my mask.
- The nasty... Oh.

352
00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:40,556
Don't... Close your mouth. Don't breathe.
Don't say nothing. Just...

353
00:17:40,558 --> 00:17:42,756
- Can I... Just...
- That mask...

354
00:17:42,758 --> 00:17:45,490
- The little...
- Thank you!

355
00:17:45,492 --> 00:17:47,223
Come on, baby, go.
Just play Legos.

356
00:17:47,225 --> 00:17:50,757
Go play some Legos.
I'ma be there. Daddy's coming.

357
00:17:50,759 --> 00:17:52,056
- All right.
- You have a kid?

358
00:17:52,058 --> 00:17:53,257
He was at a sleepover.

359
00:17:53,259 --> 00:17:55,022
Obviously,
I did not want him to see this.

360
00:17:55,024 --> 00:17:57,289
Oh, my God.
This is terrible.

361
00:17:57,291 --> 00:17:59,990
- Baby, where are you going?
- I'm never late.

362
00:17:59,992 --> 00:18:03,655
I'm so late!
I'm so late, so late, so late.

363
00:18:06,358 --> 00:18:08,523
You're married?

364
00:18:08,525 --> 00:18:09,957
Wait. No...

365
00:18:09,959 --> 00:18:12,957
Okay, what time does
she get here, huh? 10:18?

366
00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:14,490
- Jerk!
- It's not what you think...

367
00:18:16,725 --> 00:18:18,790
I knew
that wasn't a mask.

368
00:18:21,291 --> 00:18:25,155
45K. I know it's a starter
model for me, but I'm in the game now.

369
00:18:26,824 --> 00:18:28,290
Ali, hey, hey!
Good of you to join us.

370
00:18:28,292 --> 00:18:30,487
- Hey!
- You know Devonta and John, right?

371
00:18:30,489 --> 00:18:31,888
- Devonta, of course!
- Yeah.

372
00:18:31,890 --> 00:18:34,622
- I love your hair like that.
- Your hair...

373
00:18:34,624 --> 00:18:36,021
Thank you! Hey, John.

374
00:18:36,023 --> 00:18:37,655
I can't see your hair
all the way up there.

375
00:18:37,657 --> 00:18:39,455
Good to see you, though.

376
00:18:39,457 --> 00:18:41,355
- Hey, you got a little some...
- Hey, no, you got something!

377
00:18:41,357 --> 00:18:42,720
Don't you try that, cutie.

378
00:18:42,722 --> 00:18:44,122
- Thank God, you're here.
- Yes.

379
00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:46,088
We have
a center-position situation.

380
00:18:46,090 --> 00:18:48,021
No, we don't have a
situation, we have a contract.

381
00:18:48,023 --> 00:18:49,956
- That's the situation.
- Okay.

382
00:18:49,958 --> 00:18:52,189
Uh, not asking, just informing:
you have a condom on your back.

383
00:18:52,191 --> 00:18:54,055
- A what?
- You have a condom on your back.

384
00:18:54,057 --> 00:18:56,922
A what? Oh, my God. Get it off.
Get it off! Get it off!

385
00:18:56,924 --> 00:18:59,355
Please remember this when
you're considering my raise.

386
00:18:59,357 --> 00:19:01,522
Yeah, take it to your grave
or I will kill you.

387
00:19:02,857 --> 00:19:04,888
What is
this center-position bullshit?

388
00:19:04,890 --> 00:19:07,490
Which asshole in here doesn't
understand the concept of a contract?

389
00:19:07,492 --> 00:19:09,189
- Hold...
- Kevin!

390
00:19:09,191 --> 00:19:10,622
Do not talk over me.

391
00:19:11,559 --> 00:19:13,054
Tell whichever asshole here

392
00:19:13,056 --> 00:19:15,656
who wants to try to bump Lisa
from center position

393
00:19:15,658 --> 00:19:17,057
- to step to me...
- Okay.

394
00:19:17,059 --> 00:19:18,924
...and not hide behind
you motherfuckers.

395
00:19:18,926 --> 00:19:20,190
Great.

396
00:19:20,192 --> 00:19:22,022
Tell him yourself
'cause he's right behind you.

397
00:19:22,024 --> 00:19:22,757
Where?

398
00:19:22,759 --> 00:19:24,623
Peek-a-boo.

399
00:19:24,625 --> 00:19:26,322
Business rule number one:

400
00:19:26,324 --> 00:19:28,957
You should never call somebody
an asshole behind they back.

401
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:30,824
- You know who said that?
- No, I do not.

402
00:19:30,826 --> 00:19:32,890
- Asparagus Chevrolet.
- Who?

403
00:19:32,892 --> 00:19:36,390
You know, a co-founder
of General Motors, 1884.

404
00:19:36,392 --> 00:19:40,622
Ali Davis, meet Joe Dolla,
Jamal Barry's father.

405
00:19:40,624 --> 00:19:43,523
And manager.

406
00:19:43,525 --> 00:19:45,023
And bodyguard.

407
00:19:45,025 --> 00:19:47,690
And psychologist
and nutritionist

408
00:19:47,692 --> 00:19:50,622
and trainer and sociologist
and urologist.

409
00:19:50,624 --> 00:19:52,224
That means everything.

410
00:19:52,226 --> 00:19:54,389
- Wow, that's a lot. Uh...
- Mm-hmm.

411
00:19:55,126 --> 00:19:57,088
You know the second rule
of business?

412
00:19:57,090 --> 00:19:58,990
There's always
a win-win situation

413
00:19:58,992 --> 00:20:01,722
where everyone walks away happy.
You like that?

414
00:20:01,724 --> 00:20:03,323
I know that's right.

415
00:20:03,325 --> 00:20:06,156
But it don't always happen
like that in sports. It don't.

416
00:20:06,158 --> 00:20:07,423
Somebody got to win,

417
00:20:07,425 --> 00:20:09,690
and somebody got to taste
the agony of defeat,

418
00:20:09,692 --> 00:20:11,423
like that blind ski jumper.

419
00:20:11,425 --> 00:20:13,458
Yeah. It's a lethal day.

420
00:20:13,460 --> 00:20:15,458
Decapitated.
Just help us out here, please?

421
00:20:15,460 --> 00:20:17,857
- Ali D!
- Lisa!

422
00:20:17,859 --> 00:20:21,592
Hey, girl, look at you!
Six feet five inches of perfect.

423
00:20:21,594 --> 00:20:22,858
What's the holdup here?

424
00:20:23,192 --> 00:20:26,257
Yeah, I was gonna come over
and talk to you about that.

425
00:20:26,259 --> 00:20:30,292
We were talking about the cover
image, and...

426
00:20:30,294 --> 00:20:32,291
of course, you're guaranteed
center position.

427
00:20:32,293 --> 00:20:37,757
But we were... we were thinking
that maybe you'd split it

428
00:20:38,391 --> 00:20:40,055
with, um, Jamal Barry,

429
00:20:41,089 --> 00:20:42,356
the projected number-one
NBA draft pick?

430
00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:45,588
- Split it?
- Mm-hmm.

431
00:20:45,590 --> 00:20:48,824
Let me ask you guys a question.
Are you good at math?

432
00:20:48,826 --> 00:20:50,655
- Yes, <i>summa cum laude.</i>
- Not my strong suit.

433
00:20:50,657 --> 00:20:52,124
I got through.

434
00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:54,488
So how many championships
does Jamal Barry have?

435
00:20:54,490 --> 00:20:58,222
None. But this is the "Legends
and Rising Stars" issue.

436
00:20:58,224 --> 00:21:02,223
I have two championships,
three MVPs, and four gold medals.

437
00:21:02,225 --> 00:21:05,323
Now add that up and you tell me if
I'm gonna share my magazine cover

438
00:21:05,325 --> 00:21:08,355
with whatever dude is here
or the flavor of the month.

439
00:21:08,357 --> 00:21:09,889
Uh...

440
00:21:11,358 --> 00:21:14,090
Okay. You're right.
You are right.

441
00:21:14,092 --> 00:21:16,290
Give the woman the throne,
gents!

442
00:21:16,292 --> 00:21:19,888
She's earned it.
And we have a contract.

443
00:21:19,890 --> 00:21:23,124
Boom! I'm so glad my agents
are mad geniuses.

444
00:21:23,126 --> 00:21:25,022
And Ali, you got an old
wine stain on your blouse.

445
00:21:25,024 --> 00:21:28,124
Girl, yes,
wine next week! Your house.

446
00:21:28,126 --> 00:21:30,257
- So, you mentioned win-win.
- Yes.

447
00:21:30,259 --> 00:21:32,057
And I ate all those shrimps
over there.

448
00:21:32,059 --> 00:21:33,789
You understand? So, I win.

449
00:21:34,058 --> 00:21:36,890
My son Jamal is not gonna be
a part of this photo shoot.

450
00:21:36,892 --> 00:21:39,824
You lose. Now watch this.

451
00:21:39,826 --> 00:21:41,156
Jamal, let's go!

452
00:21:44,393 --> 00:21:46,657
Jamal, it was...

453
00:21:46,659 --> 00:21:47,857
...very nice to...

454
00:21:49,227 --> 00:21:51,523
- Well, that could've gone worse.
- How?

455
00:21:51,525 --> 00:21:54,090
Could've noticed the used condom
on your back earlier.

456
00:21:54,825 --> 00:21:56,058
That was a rubber glove.

457
00:21:56,060 --> 00:21:58,190
I was dyeing my hair,
you asshole.

458
00:21:58,192 --> 00:22:00,856
Yeah...
dyeing your hair with semen.

459
00:22:01,993 --> 00:22:03,589
<i>So, the wine gal at Rite Aid</i>

460
00:22:03,591 --> 00:22:06,325
<i>said this was their bestseller
for bachelorette parties.</i>

461
00:22:06,327 --> 00:22:09,491
Well, your taste in champagne
hasn't evolved much since college,

462
00:22:09,493 --> 00:22:10,991
but down the hatch.

463
00:22:10,993 --> 00:22:12,723
Kinda Chablis
meets NyQuil and bleach.

464
00:22:12,725 --> 00:22:14,157
- Oh, it's burnt.
- Hello, everyone!

465
00:22:14,159 --> 00:22:16,123
- Hey, girl.
- Sorry I'm late.

466
00:22:16,125 --> 00:22:18,758
Ah. Look at you and your boobies.

467
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:20,026
I picked up some champagne.

468
00:22:20,028 --> 00:22:21,191
Thank God,
real champagne!

469
00:22:21,193 --> 00:22:23,025
Good. Because mine sucked.

470
00:22:23,027 --> 00:22:25,423
Happy last days of
being a single woman, cousin.

471
00:22:25,425 --> 00:22:26,825
Lots of dicks here.

472
00:22:26,827 --> 00:22:28,391
Okay, you need to put that down.

473
00:22:28,393 --> 00:22:29,824
Oh.

474
00:22:29,826 --> 00:22:31,158
- What'd I miss?
- Uh-oh.

475
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:32,725
- Oh, I know that face.
- Ali...

476
00:22:32,727 --> 00:22:34,224
- Yeah.
- Oh.

477
00:22:34,226 --> 00:22:36,024
You didn't make partner,
did you?

478
00:22:36,026 --> 00:22:38,391
Did that little shit Brandon
text you?

479
00:22:38,393 --> 00:22:42,890
Uh, no, your half-ass angry
smile kinda gave it all away.

480
00:22:42,892 --> 00:22:44,925
I just can't believe that Nick

481
00:22:44,927 --> 00:22:47,558
tried to sell me
some bullshit about how...

482
00:22:48,194 --> 00:22:50,358
how I don't connect with men.

483
00:22:50,859 --> 00:22:52,156
Can you believe that?

484
00:22:52,158 --> 00:22:53,323
Mm.

485
00:22:53,325 --> 00:22:54,223
Me!

486
00:22:54,625 --> 00:22:56,422
- I mean, it...
- Uh...

487
00:22:56,424 --> 00:22:58,057
- What?
- Uh, let me see that bottle.

488
00:22:58,059 --> 00:23:00,056
- Nothing!
- Nothing, I...

489
00:23:00,691 --> 00:23:02,457
Mm. Mm-mm-mm.

490
00:23:02,459 --> 00:23:04,890
Well... I don't get it.

491
00:23:04,892 --> 00:23:07,989
Right? I grew up around men
all my life.

492
00:23:07,991 --> 00:23:09,923
- Like, fuck him!
- Mm, Ali...

493
00:23:09,925 --> 00:23:11,591
I think I'm gonna call a Lyft.

494
00:23:11,593 --> 00:23:16,091
No. No. No one's calling
anything, because...

495
00:23:16,793 --> 00:23:19,123
- we should be smoking up.
- Ciarra!

496
00:23:19,125 --> 00:23:21,490
I haven't smoked that
in 25 years.

497
00:23:21,492 --> 00:23:24,990
I'm high on Christ.
I don't need it anymore.

498
00:23:25,493 --> 00:23:27,558
Okay, so...

499
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:31,022
I have a special surprise
for you ladies.

500
00:23:31,024 --> 00:23:33,124
- Oh.
- I love surprises.

501
00:23:33,126 --> 00:23:38,790
Now, we all know that Mari and James
have a bright and shiny future. Okay?

502
00:23:38,792 --> 00:23:40,790
But specifics are good, right?

503
00:23:40,792 --> 00:23:43,191
So I hired a psychic. Come on.

504
00:23:43,193 --> 00:23:45,591
- Come on! Yes!
- That's really sweet, Olivia.

505
00:23:45,593 --> 00:23:50,423
But don't nobody want no Dionne
Warwick psychic-hotline con artist

506
00:23:50,425 --> 00:23:52,490
spinning bullshit
about our past.

507
00:23:52,492 --> 00:23:55,791
Okay, well, she's already here,
and she probably can hear you, so...

508
00:23:56,859 --> 00:23:58,056
Ah.

509
00:24:18,492 --> 00:24:19,624
Where did you find her?

510
00:24:19,626 --> 00:24:22,059
- Facebook.
- What?

511
00:24:22,526 --> 00:24:24,724
All right, ladies...

512
00:24:25,626 --> 00:24:32,258
our spiritual journey tonight
will begin with...

513
00:24:34,626 --> 00:24:37,791
Oh!

514
00:24:39,061 --> 00:24:40,890
<i>♪ Old school
players To new school fools ♪</i>

515
00:24:40,892 --> 00:24:42,425
<i>♪ Kast keep it jumpin'... ♪</i>

516
00:24:43,394 --> 00:24:44,724
<i>♪ Nigga be tryin' to... ♪</i>

517
00:24:44,726 --> 00:24:45,958
<i>♪ Ain't your mama pretty ♪</i>

518
00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:47,625
<i>♪ Got meatballs in her titty ♪</i>

519
00:24:47,627 --> 00:24:49,125
Bee-otch!

520
00:25:00,627 --> 00:25:01,591
You.

521
00:25:03,395 --> 00:25:04,393
My card.

522
00:25:05,462 --> 00:25:06,458
Um...

523
00:25:08,827 --> 00:25:10,458
Please tap these cards.

524
00:25:15,991 --> 00:25:17,089
Thank you.

525
00:25:22,326 --> 00:25:23,224
Hmm.

526
00:25:27,326 --> 00:25:28,356
Hmm!

527
00:25:29,959 --> 00:25:31,057
Mm.

528
00:25:32,426 --> 00:25:34,957
Mmm. Mmm!

529
00:25:35,828 --> 00:25:40,959
Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!

530
00:25:41,626 --> 00:25:42,590
Mmm!

531
00:25:42,926 --> 00:25:45,423
Uh! Uh!

532
00:25:51,192 --> 00:25:53,558
It says here you're
having problems at work.

533
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:57,191
Yeah, you heard me
talking to my girlfriends.

534
00:25:57,193 --> 00:25:59,991
Mm-hmm. Mm, mm. Mm!

535
00:25:59,993 --> 00:26:04,391
There's a man there who does
not want you to succeed.

536
00:26:04,393 --> 00:26:06,692
Uh, he feels threatened by you.

537
00:26:06,694 --> 00:26:08,757
Ah. A man? Try a dozen.

538
00:26:08,759 --> 00:26:12,490
There's also a man who you
will have a relationship with.

539
00:26:14,294 --> 00:26:16,624
And his name begins with...

540
00:26:18,726 --> 00:26:19,657
W.

541
00:26:22,793 --> 00:26:24,358
- Will?
- Wait, ho...

542
00:26:24,360 --> 00:26:26,959
How did you know that?
How the fuck did you know that?

543
00:26:28,527 --> 00:26:31,159
Were you spying on me
at the Highland Tap last night?

544
00:26:31,161 --> 00:26:32,660
Ma'am, I don't even know
who you are.

545
00:26:32,662 --> 00:26:34,758
Plus, I'm 19 years sober.

546
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:38,559
If you don't count the weed
and the peyote and the crack.

547
00:26:38,561 --> 00:26:39,692
Crack?

548
00:26:41,127 --> 00:26:43,824
I was just kidding.

549
00:26:44,327 --> 00:26:45,892
Fuck the goddamn shit.

550
00:26:46,861 --> 00:26:49,592
You want to know
how to connect with men, right?

551
00:26:50,294 --> 00:26:51,926
- Uh...
- Well, I can help you

552
00:26:51,928 --> 00:26:54,192
open your inner portal.

553
00:26:55,062 --> 00:26:56,225
Yeah.

554
00:26:56,227 --> 00:26:59,091
So, let's just... have some tea.

555
00:26:59,093 --> 00:27:02,225
- Oh, I don't really like tea.
- No, no, have some.

556
00:27:02,227 --> 00:27:04,192
Oh, what's that smell?

557
00:27:04,194 --> 00:27:07,027
Oh, that's
the fey lougawou plant.

558
00:27:07,029 --> 00:27:09,058
It's an extract from Haiti.

559
00:27:09,060 --> 00:27:10,492
Then I can read you.

560
00:27:16,995 --> 00:27:18,093
Just take a sip.

561
00:27:18,993 --> 00:27:22,057
Go on, take a sip. Relax.

562
00:27:22,059 --> 00:27:23,157
- Ew.
- Oh.

563
00:27:25,692 --> 00:27:26,790
Whoa, yes!

564
00:27:28,193 --> 00:27:29,792
Now...

565
00:27:29,794 --> 00:27:31,791
Oh, yeah, drink it.

566
00:27:32,427 --> 00:27:34,357
- Get it down. Sip it.
- Uh...

567
00:27:35,060 --> 00:27:39,125
Oh. Travel within.
Feel yourself.

568
00:27:39,127 --> 00:27:42,225
Feel it. Relax.

569
00:27:42,725 --> 00:27:43,857
You are yin...

570
00:27:44,425 --> 00:27:46,290
and you are yang.

571
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:51,825
You are both male and female.

572
00:27:53,961 --> 00:27:56,423
Ali. Oh, feel it all inside.

573
00:27:57,461 --> 00:27:59,525
Let it work your insides.

574
00:28:00,794 --> 00:28:01,992
<i>You are yin...</i>

575
00:28:02,460 --> 00:28:03,458
Do you feel it?

576
00:28:03,460 --> 00:28:05,656
<i>...and you are yang.</i>

577
00:28:06,326 --> 00:28:07,859
<i>Journey within.</i>

578
00:28:07,861 --> 00:28:11,992
<i>Hear your inner,
inner, inner voice.</i>

579
00:28:11,994 --> 00:28:13,059
Ali.

580
00:28:14,694 --> 00:28:16,591
I'm ready to
shake a tail feather!

581
00:28:17,794 --> 00:28:20,724
- We didn't get enough of that bong.
- Hey, Lyft driver!

582
00:28:20,726 --> 00:28:23,925
- Are you ready for the girls?
- Whoo!

583
00:28:23,927 --> 00:28:26,593
- The party bus has arrived!
- Yes!

584
00:28:26,595 --> 00:28:28,491
Bitch said
my fashion was terrible.

585
00:28:28,493 --> 00:28:31,491
Oh, that was so much fun.
It was such a great reading.

586
00:28:59,562 --> 00:29:02,026
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
take it easy, girl.

587
00:29:02,028 --> 00:29:05,393
I don't want to spend my special night
holding your hair out of the toilet.

588
00:29:05,395 --> 00:29:07,724
- No, girl, I'm good.
- Okay.

589
00:29:08,463 --> 00:29:10,625
I don't know
if it's that freaky tea

590
00:29:10,627 --> 00:29:13,461
or if it's all the weed
and the Hennessy,

591
00:29:13,463 --> 00:29:15,960
but honey, I am feeling it!

592
00:29:15,962 --> 00:29:18,927
Is anybody else feeling...

593
00:29:31,563 --> 00:29:34,828
That's my song!

594
00:29:34,830 --> 00:29:37,457
Uh, actually, it's my song.

595
00:29:37,459 --> 00:29:39,224
- Oh!
- You... You remember?

596
00:29:39,226 --> 00:29:40,791
Before I started
following the Lord,

597
00:29:40,793 --> 00:29:43,724
I was following 2 Live Crew
on tour.

598
00:29:43,726 --> 00:29:46,491
- It's true, it's so true.
- Oh, my God!

599
00:29:46,493 --> 00:29:49,723
Little secret here...
this song is about me. Shh.

600
00:29:55,093 --> 00:29:56,225
All right.

601
00:29:59,228 --> 00:30:02,260
Okay, I gotta go.
I gotta go. Move.

602
00:30:14,893 --> 00:30:16,757
- Ooh!
- Whoo!

603
00:30:31,595 --> 00:30:33,959
Oh, someone had
too much whiskey tonight.

604
00:30:41,894 --> 00:30:42,791
Whoo!

605
00:30:45,595 --> 00:30:46,525
Whoo!

606
00:30:54,595 --> 00:30:55,359
Whoo!

607
00:30:55,361 --> 00:30:56,892
Ah! Ah!

608
00:31:06,896 --> 00:31:09,426
Oh. Morning, Ms. Davis.

609
00:31:09,428 --> 00:31:11,493
All your signs look good,

610
00:31:11,495 --> 00:31:15,659
but I'm gonna check your vitals once more
before we release you back in the wild.

611
00:31:16,795 --> 00:31:18,793
<i>Thank God
this one didn't die on me.</i>

612
00:31:18,795 --> 00:31:21,760
<i>Some dickweed shoves a whole
hairdryer into his rectum,</i>

613
00:31:21,762 --> 00:31:23,626
<i>electrocutes himself
in the shower,</i>

614
00:31:23,628 --> 00:31:25,427
<i>but somehow I'm responsible.</i>

615
00:31:25,429 --> 00:31:27,027
<i>I mean, who does that?</i>

616
00:31:27,029 --> 00:31:28,761
Um, excuse me.

617
00:31:28,763 --> 00:31:30,227
- Hmm?
- Doc.

618
00:31:30,229 --> 00:31:31,727
Did you say something?

619
00:31:31,729 --> 00:31:32,594
No.

620
00:31:33,262 --> 00:31:34,960
You did. You said something

621
00:31:34,962 --> 00:31:38,760
about some dude
shoving a hairdryer up his ass.

622
00:31:39,830 --> 00:31:42,294
- I don't think I did.
- No, I heard you.

623
00:31:42,296 --> 00:31:43,660
And that's... that's weird.

624
00:31:43,662 --> 00:31:45,960
That's something
very weird to say.

625
00:31:46,996 --> 00:31:48,860
Oh, well, anyway, uh...

626
00:31:48,862 --> 00:31:51,260
Blood pressure's normal.
All good.

627
00:31:51,526 --> 00:31:53,593
<i>I must be losing it.</i>

628
00:31:53,595 --> 00:31:56,692
<i>Starting today, no more drinking at work.
Just cocaine.</i>

629
00:31:56,694 --> 00:32:00,027
Hey! Why are you telling
me about your coke problem?

630
00:32:00,029 --> 00:32:03,058
A, it makes me very uncomfortable.
You're a doctor.

631
00:32:03,060 --> 00:32:05,524
And B,
just too much information.

632
00:32:06,862 --> 00:32:09,426
- I didn't say anything.
- You did.

633
00:32:09,428 --> 00:32:11,526
- Are you taping this?
- What?

634
00:32:11,528 --> 00:32:12,960
I'm calling a lawyer.

635
00:32:13,994 --> 00:32:15,559
You need rehab.

636
00:32:16,327 --> 00:32:17,627
Where's my cell phone?

637
00:32:17,629 --> 00:32:19,691
Oh, you're okay. Hallelujah.

638
00:32:19,693 --> 00:32:22,259
Praise the Lord.
I've been praying and fasting all night.

639
00:32:22,261 --> 00:32:24,760
- I'm starving! Muah, muah.
- Oh, you are so dramatic.

640
00:32:24,762 --> 00:32:26,391
And my knees are killing me.

641
00:32:26,393 --> 00:32:28,193
Hey, girl, I got some Combos.
Raided the vending machine!

642
00:32:28,195 --> 00:32:31,559
<i>This place
smells like gonorrhea. Ugh!</i>

643
00:32:31,561 --> 00:32:33,126
- What did you say?
- Hmm?

644
00:32:33,128 --> 00:32:35,893
- Ms. Davis, you're free to go.
- Oh, finally!

645
00:32:35,895 --> 00:32:38,160
I can take you home
or I brought work clothes.

646
00:32:38,162 --> 00:32:39,625
Work.

647
00:32:39,627 --> 00:32:41,294
Ali, can't you
take it easy for a change?

648
00:32:41,296 --> 00:32:42,727
No, no, no. Don't do that.

649
00:32:42,729 --> 00:32:44,760
You know what,
close that so I can get dressed.

650
00:32:46,595 --> 00:32:48,325
- Hey, queen.
- Hi, how are you?

651
00:32:48,327 --> 00:32:50,994
I'm good.
So... here's the T.

652
00:32:50,996 --> 00:32:53,860
We had a bachelorette party last
night, and we're a little hung over.

653
00:32:53,862 --> 00:32:57,493
So if you could just
hook us up with some... Oxy?

654
00:32:57,495 --> 00:32:59,259
No, ma'am, I'm sorry.
I can't do that.

655
00:32:59,261 --> 00:33:00,726
Darvocet?

656
00:33:01,162 --> 00:33:02,093
Percocet?

657
00:33:02,996 --> 00:33:04,793
Any 'cets?

658
00:33:04,795 --> 00:33:07,761
All the 'cets? Oh, you nasty!
All the 'cets?

659
00:33:07,763 --> 00:33:09,494
No, ma'am,
we can't do that. Sorry.

660
00:33:09,496 --> 00:33:12,627
Okay, this is gonna
change your mind.

661
00:33:12,629 --> 00:33:14,160
Gonna blow your mind.

662
00:33:14,162 --> 00:33:16,094
- No, I'm sorry.
- Meet me on eight.

663
00:33:16,096 --> 00:33:17,594
Girl, I can't do transactions
in public like this.

664
00:33:17,596 --> 00:33:19,093
On eight, in the closet.

665
00:33:20,129 --> 00:33:22,961
<i>Oh, my doctor says
I can't drive for a week.</i>

666
00:33:22,963 --> 00:33:26,727
Which should give me enough time
to find my driver's license.

667
00:33:27,562 --> 00:33:30,094
Which could be anywhere,
after last night.

668
00:33:30,096 --> 00:33:33,928
<i>Well, at least I don't have to peel
used condoms off your back today.</i>

669
00:33:33,930 --> 00:33:34,961
<i>So far.</i>

670
00:33:36,462 --> 00:33:38,661
Okay, stop doing that.

671
00:33:38,663 --> 00:33:40,028
Stop doing what?

672
00:33:40,030 --> 00:33:41,928
Talking
without moving your mouth

673
00:33:41,930 --> 00:33:45,227
and saying rude shit you should
not be saying to your boss.

674
00:33:45,229 --> 00:33:46,695
I swear on my life

675
00:33:46,697 --> 00:33:48,294
I would never say
anything disrespectful

676
00:33:48,296 --> 00:33:49,761
or inappropriate to you ever.

677
00:33:49,763 --> 00:33:51,861
<i>Which is more than
I can say for you.</i>

678
00:33:51,863 --> 00:33:53,595
Right there. You just did it.

679
00:33:53,597 --> 00:33:55,261
You said,
"More than I can say for you."

680
00:33:55,263 --> 00:33:57,428
And then there was that crack
about the condom on my back.

681
00:33:57,430 --> 00:34:00,095
- I heard you say it!
- But I... I didn't say it.

682
00:34:00,097 --> 00:34:01,862
<i>Holy shit,
are you reading my mind?</i>

683
00:34:01,864 --> 00:34:03,295
<i>Because if you can hear
my inner thoughts,</i>

684
00:34:03,297 --> 00:34:04,994
<i>I am super fucked!</i>

685
00:34:04,996 --> 00:34:07,660
I can hear your inner thoughts,
and you are super fucked!

686
00:34:10,261 --> 00:34:11,827
Stop screaming!

687
00:34:11,829 --> 00:34:13,626
I said stop doing that!

688
00:34:13,628 --> 00:34:15,193
- Okay, Brandon, pull over.
- Okay.

689
00:34:15,195 --> 00:34:17,027
- Pull over, I need some air.
- I'm pulling over.

690
00:34:17,029 --> 00:34:18,627
I need some air.
Pull over right here!

691
00:34:18,629 --> 00:34:19,727
I'm pulling over!

692
00:34:20,028 --> 00:34:23,160
- Stop the fucking car!
- I'm stopping the car!

693
00:34:23,162 --> 00:34:24,826
I stopped thinking! I swear!

694
00:34:24,828 --> 00:34:26,326
- I'm not screaming inside my head! Hello?
- No, no, no, no.

695
00:34:26,328 --> 00:34:28,159
Wait, what are you doing?
You don't do stairs!

696
00:34:28,161 --> 00:34:29,726
What are you doing?

697
00:34:32,229 --> 00:34:33,592
Okay, okay.

698
00:34:35,395 --> 00:34:36,726
Fresh air.

699
00:34:39,961 --> 00:34:43,226
<i>Goddamn dog.
I wish I could shit anywhere.</i>

700
00:34:43,228 --> 00:34:45,126
<i>That would be cool.</i>

701
00:34:45,128 --> 00:34:47,127
<i>These shoes
are fucking killing me.</i>

702
00:34:47,129 --> 00:34:49,028
<i>What was the name
of that cheese that I liked?</i>

703
00:34:49,030 --> 00:34:50,860
<i>Michael Keaton
was the best Batman.</i>

704
00:34:50,862 --> 00:34:53,860
<i>Yes, bitch,
I look good in this hat. I know.</i>

705
00:34:53,862 --> 00:34:55,794
<i>That's water
on my pants, not pee.</i>

706
00:34:55,796 --> 00:34:57,761
- <i>Is it "croyssant" or "croissant"?</i>
- Oh!

707
00:34:57,763 --> 00:35:00,026
<i>Nothing wrong with being a
virgin, no matter what my mom says.</i>

708
00:35:00,028 --> 00:35:02,061
- <i>French people are so cool.</i>
- <i>Did I let the dog out?</i>

709
00:35:02,063 --> 00:35:04,192
<i>I wish I'd fucked a
black broad before I got married.</i>

710
00:35:04,696 --> 00:35:06,927
<i>Hello, Oprah!</i>

711
00:35:08,695 --> 00:35:11,026
No! No! No! No!

712
00:35:14,496 --> 00:35:16,892
Would you stop running?
It's cobblestone!

713
00:35:16,894 --> 00:35:18,194
Shut up, just shut up!

714
00:35:18,196 --> 00:35:20,129
- Good morning, Ms. Davis.
- Good morning.

715
00:35:20,131 --> 00:35:23,527
<i>This whole wearing ladies'
underwear thing is fantastic.</i>

716
00:35:23,529 --> 00:35:24,894
<i>Who knew?</i>

717
00:35:25,995 --> 00:35:28,229
Ali, can you hear other people?

718
00:35:28,231 --> 00:35:32,260
Key to signing Matt Ryan: befriending
his wife through mutual friends at BC.

719
00:35:32,262 --> 00:35:34,928
What are the odds that
we sponsor the same charity?

720
00:35:34,930 --> 00:35:36,727
She vouches for me,
boom, I'm in.

721
00:35:36,997 --> 00:35:40,396
Shit, man, that's some next-level
ass-kissing right there. Respect!

722
00:35:40,398 --> 00:35:42,560
<i>How does this douche
have a nicer watch than me?</i>

723
00:35:42,562 --> 00:35:44,228
<i>Got to be family money.</i>

724
00:35:44,230 --> 00:35:46,828
<i>Shit, I hope no one figures out
that this Rolex is a fake.</i>

725
00:35:47,463 --> 00:35:49,227
- What up, Ali D?
- Gentlemen.

726
00:35:49,229 --> 00:35:51,994
<i>Ugh! I hate my voice.
I hate my nose. I hate my chin.</i>

727
00:35:51,996 --> 00:35:53,828
<i>I suck, I suck, I suck!</i>

728
00:35:54,163 --> 00:35:57,296
<i>Pretend I'm working,
pretend I'm working, pretend I'm working.</i>

729
00:35:57,298 --> 00:35:59,528
<i>I'm pretty sure
I still reek of tequila.</i>

730
00:35:59,530 --> 00:36:00,695
- <i>No more day drinking.</i>
- Good morning.

731
00:36:00,697 --> 00:36:02,362
<i>Look straight ahead.</i>

732
00:36:02,730 --> 00:36:03,829
<i>God, these piercings hurt.</i>

733
00:36:03,831 --> 00:36:05,229
<i>God, these piercings hurt!</i>

734
00:36:05,231 --> 00:36:07,229
<i>Come on,
anal isn't cheating.</i>

735
00:36:07,231 --> 00:36:08,994
<i>I wonder if it's too late
to become a marine biologist.</i>

736
00:36:08,996 --> 00:36:10,528
<i>I don't think
this deodorant is working.</i>

737
00:36:10,530 --> 00:36:11,762
What? The Jets?

738
00:36:11,764 --> 00:36:13,061
Are you fucking kidding me?

739
00:36:13,063 --> 00:36:15,062
Are you fucking
kidding me?

740
00:36:15,064 --> 00:36:16,529
See, this is why Dad left.

741
00:36:16,865 --> 00:36:18,695
This is exactly why Dad left
because of shit like this.

742
00:36:18,697 --> 00:36:19,962
Oh, hey, you two.

743
00:36:20,398 --> 00:36:25,196
<i>Ooh, I'd pay $10,000
to see those nipples. Plus tax.</i>

744
00:36:32,029 --> 00:36:33,960
No, this is not happening.
This is not...

745
00:36:33,962 --> 00:36:36,028
Oh, my God, please make it stop!

746
00:36:36,030 --> 00:36:38,160
- Oh, God, you walk fast in those heels.
- Please, God, make it stop.

747
00:36:38,162 --> 00:36:40,960
<i>Is this thing still on?
Testing, testing.</i>

748
00:36:40,962 --> 00:36:43,395
<i>I enjoy apple slices
with cinnamon.</i>

749
00:36:43,397 --> 00:36:46,194
Okay, your snack choices
do not interest me right now!

750
00:36:46,196 --> 00:36:49,327
- <i>Oh, I'm so scared.</i>
- I need help! Can't you see that?

751
00:36:49,329 --> 00:36:51,327
Help me! Help me!

752
00:36:51,329 --> 00:36:53,259
- Help me!
- Okay, I'm helping! I'm helping.

753
00:36:53,261 --> 00:36:56,196
I am booking us a psychiatrist
with side-by-side couches.

754
00:36:56,198 --> 00:36:58,827
No, no, no! No more doctors!
I can't handle doctors!

755
00:36:58,829 --> 00:37:00,929
I'm in the middle of too much
work shit for this!

756
00:37:00,931 --> 00:37:02,527
I can't handle this! I can't...

757
00:37:02,529 --> 00:37:07,061
Oh, my God. I'm so hot.
I'm so hot. Oh, my God.

758
00:37:07,063 --> 00:37:09,561
I'm getting hot! I'm hot!

759
00:37:09,563 --> 00:37:11,828
- Do something.
- Okay, okay, okay!

760
00:37:11,830 --> 00:37:13,594
<i>You know
what's weird about this?</i>

761
00:37:13,596 --> 00:37:15,961
<i>When people hear voices,
it's usually God or Satan,</i>

762
00:37:15,963 --> 00:37:17,327
<i>not their assistant.</i>

763
00:37:17,329 --> 00:37:20,260
Okay, wait.
Let me see something. Move!

764
00:37:22,096 --> 00:37:24,260
<i>Yo, I want some sushi.
But it's Monday.</i>

765
00:37:24,262 --> 00:37:26,329
<i>How many pees a day is too many?
I gotta get my prostate checked.</i>

766
00:37:26,331 --> 00:37:28,061
<i>I am not
going back to naked yoga.</i>

767
00:37:28,063 --> 00:37:29,962
<i>Another pair of sneakers?
What the fuck?</i>

768
00:37:29,964 --> 00:37:32,127
- <i>Did I leave the back door open?</i>
- <i>Tinder or Grindr?</i>

769
00:37:32,129 --> 00:37:34,062
<i>Junk, junk, junk in the trunk.</i>

770
00:37:34,064 --> 00:37:35,662
<i>Damn! How the hell
did she get pregnant?</i>

771
00:37:35,664 --> 00:37:37,295
- <i>I pulled out twice.</i>
- Oh, my God!

772
00:37:37,297 --> 00:37:40,794
Okay, so apparently
I only hear men's voices.

773
00:37:40,796 --> 00:37:42,661
And yours.

774
00:37:42,663 --> 00:37:45,195
Okay. Ouch.
Wait, wait, wait.

775
00:37:45,197 --> 00:37:47,162
Walk me through last night...
the bachelorette party.

776
00:37:47,164 --> 00:37:49,995
Did... Did you gals get into
any controlled substances?

777
00:37:49,997 --> 00:37:52,129
- Weed? X? Coke? Ayahuasca? Meth?
- A little. No.

778
00:37:52,131 --> 00:37:54,260
- LSD? Fentanyl? Bath salt?
- No!

779
00:37:54,262 --> 00:37:56,796
Are you in a K hole?

780
00:37:56,798 --> 00:37:57,929
Wait.

781
00:37:57,931 --> 00:37:59,661
There was this psychic. Sister.

782
00:37:59,663 --> 00:38:01,328
Yes! Yes! Sister!

783
00:38:01,330 --> 00:38:03,796
And she was supposed to help me
understand men better.

784
00:38:03,798 --> 00:38:06,329
She gave me this tea, this tea,
and she made me drink it.

785
00:38:06,331 --> 00:38:08,663
And it was nasty.
It tasted like dirt.

786
00:38:08,665 --> 00:38:11,028
- And you drank it?
- She said to!

787
00:38:11,030 --> 00:38:12,995
I thought black people stopped
drinking tea after <i>Get Out.</i>

788
00:38:12,997 --> 00:38:14,729
You forgot to stay woke.

789
00:38:14,731 --> 00:38:16,862
Shut up! We need to see Sister.

790
00:38:25,664 --> 00:38:26,561
Um, that's it.

791
00:38:27,231 --> 00:38:29,361
"Hot Chocolate
Hair Designers"?

792
00:38:30,131 --> 00:38:32,794
- Yeah.
- You drank tea from this place?

793
00:38:32,796 --> 00:38:35,530
- Hey, don't judge me.
- Okay.

794
00:38:35,532 --> 00:38:37,228
Just pull it together
and act normal.

795
00:38:37,230 --> 00:38:41,327
Yeah, girl.
She bleached all his clothes.

796
00:38:41,329 --> 00:38:43,093
- I know, I was looking outside my window.
- I...

797
00:38:43,095 --> 00:38:47,694
Mm-hmm. I woulda did the same thing.
Yeah. Mm-hmm.

798
00:38:51,796 --> 00:38:54,361
Hi, ladies. Excuse me.

799
00:38:54,363 --> 00:38:57,128
I'm looking for a psychic
by the name of Sister.

800
00:38:57,130 --> 00:38:59,293
Um, I heard she works here.

801
00:39:01,363 --> 00:39:04,695
Hey, Sister!
You got customers.

802
00:39:04,697 --> 00:39:06,429
Well, send 'em on back.

803
00:39:06,431 --> 00:39:07,727
Through that curtain.

804
00:39:11,696 --> 00:39:14,429
- Come on!
- <i>♪ Dance with me, dance with me ♪</i>

805
00:39:14,431 --> 00:39:18,362
<i>♪ And romance with me
Romance with me ♪</i>

806
00:39:18,364 --> 00:39:25,328
<i>♪ Oh, baby
Don't you see me crying? ♪</i>

807
00:39:25,330 --> 00:39:30,428
<i>♪ I'll do you right, right
Baby tonight ♪</i>

808
00:39:30,430 --> 00:39:31,629
- Hi.
- Hi.

809
00:39:31,631 --> 00:39:33,497
You looking for indica
or sativa?

810
00:39:33,499 --> 00:39:37,496
Look, I got this hybrid
called Gorilla Glue.

811
00:39:37,498 --> 00:39:43,095
Baby, it'll take you up and
then lay you back down to chill.

812
00:39:43,630 --> 00:39:45,528
I'm not here to buy weed.

813
00:39:45,530 --> 00:39:48,462
I actually need psychic advice,
please.

814
00:39:48,464 --> 00:39:50,129
I was just kidding.

815
00:39:50,131 --> 00:39:51,228
Oh.

816
00:39:51,530 --> 00:39:54,162
We all know weed is illegal
in the state of Georgia.

817
00:39:54,164 --> 00:39:56,696
- Okay.
- For the moment.

818
00:39:56,698 --> 00:40:00,727
- You can sit over there.
- I can... just get a quick wash.

819
00:40:00,729 --> 00:40:01,894
So...

820
00:40:04,097 --> 00:40:06,428
what can I do for you, baby?

821
00:40:07,730 --> 00:40:12,263
You did a... a tarot reading at my
friend Mari's bachelorette night.

822
00:40:12,265 --> 00:40:14,161
- Mm-hmm.
- And you made me drink

823
00:40:14,163 --> 00:40:16,396
- this really funky tea.
- Mm.

824
00:40:16,398 --> 00:40:19,763
And, um, it messed me up.
So, what was in it?

825
00:40:19,765 --> 00:40:21,561
Oh, that was just jasmine tea.

826
00:40:22,465 --> 00:40:25,263
- Oh.
- And a teeny bit of pot.

827
00:40:26,731 --> 00:40:30,296
And a teeny, tiny bit of... X.

828
00:40:30,298 --> 00:40:32,597
- What?
- FYI, you signed a waiver.

829
00:40:32,599 --> 00:40:36,730
- So you dosed me?
- No, no, no. See, people... People like it.

830
00:40:36,732 --> 00:40:39,930
People enjoy this, generally.
But what do you want me to do?

831
00:40:39,932 --> 00:40:41,064
- Some dry cleaning?
- Mm-mm.

832
00:40:41,066 --> 00:40:42,497
Did she... Did you shit yourself?

833
00:40:42,499 --> 00:40:45,096
- No. No. No.
- Did she shit herself?

834
00:40:45,098 --> 00:40:47,230
- No! No.
- Oh.

835
00:40:47,232 --> 00:40:48,863
Okay, so...

836
00:40:49,166 --> 00:40:52,161
- This tea with ecstasy...
- Okay.

837
00:40:52,163 --> 00:40:55,561
...um, gave me psychic powers.

838
00:40:56,063 --> 00:40:57,528
- And...
- Mm-hmm.

839
00:40:57,530 --> 00:40:59,062
...now, I know
you said you wanted

840
00:40:59,064 --> 00:41:01,061
to help me
understand men better,

841
00:41:01,063 --> 00:41:05,428
but now... Now I can literally
hear people's inner thoughts.

842
00:41:05,430 --> 00:41:08,129
So, you can hear
what I'm thinking right now?

843
00:41:08,131 --> 00:41:11,329
No. Not you, just...
just men.

844
00:41:12,597 --> 00:41:13,895
It's true.

845
00:41:13,897 --> 00:41:16,362
And it's driving me nuts.
Please help.

846
00:41:17,564 --> 00:41:19,429
Amazing. Amazing!

847
00:41:19,431 --> 00:41:22,694
- No, it's not.
- Yes, it is! That's amazing!

848
00:41:22,696 --> 00:41:24,429
This is the most amazing thing.

849
00:41:24,431 --> 00:41:26,563
- You know, the website said...
- Website?

850
00:41:26,565 --> 00:41:29,595
...that this new tea from Haiti
was coldblooded.

851
00:41:29,597 --> 00:41:30,829
It said it was the shit.

852
00:41:30,831 --> 00:41:32,461
But this!

853
00:41:34,031 --> 00:41:36,463
This is a psychic phenomenon.

854
00:41:36,465 --> 00:41:38,562
- No, it's not.
- Look...

855
00:41:39,265 --> 00:41:40,728
you got the shine now.

856
00:41:40,730 --> 00:41:42,896
I don't want the shine.
That doesn't sound good.

857
00:41:42,898 --> 00:41:44,395
- Yeah, you got the shine.
- You got it.

858
00:41:44,397 --> 00:41:46,930
So, what do you think
I'm supposed to do about it?

859
00:41:46,932 --> 00:41:48,894
Well... look.

860
00:41:48,896 --> 00:41:51,697
I know I always said, you
know, "What is he thinking?"

861
00:41:51,699 --> 00:41:52,829
And now I know.

862
00:41:52,831 --> 00:41:53,861
And you don't want to know

863
00:41:53,863 --> 00:41:54,863
because it's not good.

864
00:41:54,865 --> 00:41:56,696
Okay, just please...

865
00:41:56,698 --> 00:41:58,362
get the men out of my head.

866
00:41:58,632 --> 00:42:03,862
So, you're telling me that you came
in here to get rid of this ability?

867
00:42:03,864 --> 00:42:05,795
- Yes.
- Are you crazy?

868
00:42:05,797 --> 00:42:07,963
No. Do you know
how many men I work with?

869
00:42:07,965 --> 00:42:10,728
Honey, relax. Breathe.

870
00:42:10,730 --> 00:42:12,297
- Listen, come here.
- What?

871
00:42:12,299 --> 00:42:14,163
- Come, come, come on.
- That's a lot of rocks.

872
00:42:14,165 --> 00:42:15,463
Thank you. Come here, let me...

873
00:42:15,465 --> 00:42:17,231
- Those are nice.
- Thank you, thank you.

874
00:42:17,233 --> 00:42:19,896
- Okay. Oh, God.
- Now, listen. Just calm down.

875
00:42:19,898 --> 00:42:20,962
- You feel that?
- Yeah.

876
00:42:20,964 --> 00:42:22,463
- You feel that?
- Oh, yeah.

877
00:42:22,465 --> 00:42:24,029
- You feel it? Okay. Listen...
- I do. I actually do.

878
00:42:24,031 --> 00:42:25,529
- I feel that.
- Good. Calm down.

879
00:42:25,531 --> 00:42:28,362
- Okay.
- Now, weren't you the one...

880
00:42:28,364 --> 00:42:29,797
Mm.

881
00:42:29,799 --> 00:42:33,397
...complaining about men
holding you down at the job?

882
00:42:33,399 --> 00:42:35,497
- Yeah. That was me.
- Yeah, that was you.

883
00:42:35,499 --> 00:42:37,229
- Yeah, that was good.
- That was you. Uh-huh.

884
00:42:37,231 --> 00:42:39,130
- Yeah, right there. Mm.
- Right here? Okay.

885
00:42:39,132 --> 00:42:42,196
Now, if you can read
their thoughts...

886
00:42:43,131 --> 00:42:44,763
how they gonna do that?

887
00:42:53,500 --> 00:42:55,430
You could get inside
Joe Dolla's head.

888
00:42:56,066 --> 00:42:58,464
- Or Jamal's.
- You're right.

889
00:42:58,466 --> 00:43:01,431
And I can
sign the hell out of him.

890
00:43:01,998 --> 00:43:04,064
- There you go.
- You know what?

891
00:43:04,066 --> 00:43:06,064
I think I'm gonna hold on
to this gift after all.

892
00:43:06,066 --> 00:43:07,162
Thank you, Sister.

893
00:43:11,664 --> 00:43:13,729
- See you later.
- Kevin, my man.

894
00:43:13,731 --> 00:43:17,162
Do we have any meetings on the
books for Joe Dolla and Jamal yet?

895
00:43:17,164 --> 00:43:19,396
Nothing yet,
but we are working on it.

896
00:43:19,398 --> 00:43:22,296
<i>Just poker at Nick's house
tonight, and you're not invited.</i>

897
00:43:27,932 --> 00:43:30,095
Joe Dolla, here I come.

898
00:43:36,898 --> 00:43:39,795
Okay, gentlemen...

899
00:43:39,797 --> 00:43:43,896
I am going to climb
into your minds

900
00:43:43,898 --> 00:43:45,629
and empty your wallets.

901
00:43:55,431 --> 00:43:56,664
Hey!

902
00:43:56,666 --> 00:43:59,229
- Ali! What's up?
- Hi.

903
00:43:59,231 --> 00:44:00,830
You here
to drop off paperwork?

904
00:44:00,832 --> 00:44:02,564
<i>What the fuck
are you doing here?</i>

905
00:44:02,566 --> 00:44:04,963
No, I am here
for secret poker night.

906
00:44:05,565 --> 00:44:07,162
Thanks for inviting me finally.

907
00:44:07,164 --> 00:44:09,129
- Hey, I brought a gift.
- It's not a secret.

908
00:44:09,131 --> 00:44:11,397
But super glad
you've been invited... finally.

909
00:44:11,399 --> 00:44:13,729
- Me, too.
- Huh? I invited you? That's...

910
00:44:13,731 --> 00:44:15,597
No, I invited you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

911
00:44:27,098 --> 00:44:31,029
<i>Pair of sevens? Fuck it.
I'm bluffing these fools.</i>

912
00:44:32,098 --> 00:44:34,831
<i>This is literally
the worst hand ever dealt</i>

913
00:44:34,833 --> 00:44:35,963
<i>in the history of poker.</i>

914
00:44:36,766 --> 00:44:39,462
<i>Three fives, come to papa.</i>

915
00:44:41,432 --> 00:44:43,396
<i>Grant lost some weight.</i>

916
00:44:43,398 --> 00:44:45,764
- Bet's to you, Miss Win-Win.
- Ah.

917
00:44:45,766 --> 00:44:49,097
It's just Miss Win tonight,
but I'm in.

918
00:44:49,933 --> 00:44:50,998
Two thou.

919
00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:52,830
<i>And that's a no.</i>

920
00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:58,598
<i>I smell toast.
Am I having a stroke?</i>

921
00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:01,930
<i>Wait, I have toast in my pocket.</i>

922
00:45:01,932 --> 00:45:03,296
Okay...

923
00:45:04,434 --> 00:45:07,264
<i>Gotta stop playing poker
with poor people.</i>

924
00:45:11,767 --> 00:45:14,498
<i>Shit,
I'm missing</i> Real Housewives.

925
00:45:14,500 --> 00:45:15,630
<i>Nothing.</i>

926
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:19,731
<i>I'm so rich.</i>

927
00:45:21,497 --> 00:45:24,862
<i>I'm gonna freeze my sperm
and have baby ice cubes.</i>

928
00:45:26,365 --> 00:45:28,129
<i>Ooh, Yahtzee!</i>

929
00:45:28,131 --> 00:45:30,464
<i>All right. Two kings.
Let's look for number three.</i>

930
00:45:30,466 --> 00:45:32,229
<i>You can't win this hand.</i>

931
00:45:32,231 --> 00:45:34,296
<i>Played tight.
It's time to make a push.</i>

932
00:45:34,298 --> 00:45:35,929
<i>Two hearts? Yes!</i>

933
00:45:35,931 --> 00:45:38,630
- <i>Seriously?</i>
- <i>Aw, shit.</i>

934
00:45:38,632 --> 00:45:41,329
<i>Great pot odds,
with two streets to come.</i>

935
00:45:41,331 --> 00:45:43,231
- <i>King of diamonds.</i>
- <i>Nine, five, offsuit.</i>

936
00:45:43,233 --> 00:45:44,630
<i>What am I supposed to do
with this?</i>

937
00:45:44,632 --> 00:45:46,330
<i>Never win shit here.</i>

938
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:51,263
<i>She got balls. Big lady balls.</i>

939
00:45:52,898 --> 00:45:54,864
Young lady...

940
00:45:54,866 --> 00:45:57,763
I see how you winning all these
games and stuff, you know?

941
00:45:57,765 --> 00:46:00,564
And I know there's something
going on, you dig?

942
00:46:00,566 --> 00:46:03,565
It's a numerical anomaly,
that's what it is.

943
00:46:03,567 --> 00:46:07,797
No, Joe. I'm just really good
at reading people.

944
00:46:07,799 --> 00:46:08,830
Like you.

945
00:46:09,466 --> 00:46:11,229
<i>Aw, shit.</i>

946
00:46:11,231 --> 00:46:13,097
<i>What's happening?</i>

947
00:46:13,099 --> 00:46:17,429
Like me! That's what she said.
She said like me.

948
00:46:17,431 --> 00:46:19,463
Like me
is a valuable skill, girl.

949
00:46:19,465 --> 00:46:21,798
Uh, it's like being able
to start a fire in the woods.

950
00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:24,330
<i>I should really learn how
to start a fire in the woods.</i>

951
00:46:24,332 --> 00:46:26,864
<i>Then again,
when am I ever in the woods?</i>

952
00:46:26,866 --> 00:46:29,696
<i>Squirrels are terrifying.
And frogs.</i>

953
00:46:29,698 --> 00:46:31,997
I'll raise you another three.

954
00:46:31,999 --> 00:46:36,163
<i>Statistically,
I've got 12 outs with two streets to come.</i>

955
00:46:36,165 --> 00:46:37,796
The pretzels are delicious.

956
00:46:38,999 --> 00:46:42,298
I feel the heat
coming off those cards. I'm out.

957
00:46:52,201 --> 00:46:54,565
<i>Damn! I got to cut one.</i>

958
00:46:54,567 --> 00:46:56,397
<i>It's that egg salad.</i>

959
00:46:56,399 --> 00:46:58,396
<i>I'll sneak it out with a cough.</i>

960
00:47:01,566 --> 00:47:02,964
- <i>Ew!</i>
- <i>What the fuck?</i>

961
00:47:02,966 --> 00:47:05,730
- <i>Ugh!</i>
- <i>Just... just wow.</i>

962
00:47:06,433 --> 00:47:08,030
<i>Ugh, is that egg salad?</i>

963
00:47:08,032 --> 00:47:09,897
Damn! Could we open up a window?

964
00:47:09,899 --> 00:47:12,297
Whoever did that
needs to go see a doctor.

965
00:47:14,967 --> 00:47:19,165
<i>Seven, deuce, offsuit.
Who dealt this shit-ass hand?</i>

966
00:47:19,167 --> 00:47:21,298
<i>Oh, damn it! I did.</i>

967
00:47:21,300 --> 00:47:23,431
<i>Fuck it.
I'm gonna take my stand here.</i>

968
00:47:23,433 --> 00:47:26,197
I'll raise you two thousand.

969
00:47:28,833 --> 00:47:31,898
<i>For the love of God, Ali,
don't take all of Joe Dolla's money.</i>

970
00:47:31,900 --> 00:47:34,498
<i>Let the greedy motherfucker
win.</i>

971
00:47:35,533 --> 00:47:37,497
<i>I kinda like this crazy woman.</i>

972
00:47:37,499 --> 00:47:39,896
Well, it's just me and you,
Joe Dolla.

973
00:47:39,898 --> 00:47:43,029
Alpha Dog vs. Mama Bear!

974
00:47:43,998 --> 00:47:46,430
<i>Is this crazy lady bluffing?</i>

975
00:47:46,432 --> 00:47:48,396
<i>I got to bluff the bluffer.</i>

976
00:47:48,398 --> 00:47:49,996
<i>Make her the bluffee.</i>

977
00:47:50,532 --> 00:47:51,996
I'm all in.

978
00:47:51,998 --> 00:47:53,797
I ain't playing
no more games with you.

979
00:47:53,799 --> 00:47:54,964
I'm all in.

980
00:47:54,966 --> 00:47:56,397
I'm all in.

981
00:47:57,200 --> 00:47:59,829
What you got?

982
00:48:16,633 --> 00:48:17,697
Hm.

983
00:48:18,532 --> 00:48:20,064
Well-played, Dolla.

984
00:48:23,199 --> 00:48:26,097
Oh, a little bit of pee came out.

985
00:48:26,099 --> 00:48:29,398
I tell you, this woman's a charm.
She's my good luck charm.

986
00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:31,697
She coming
to the meeting tomorrow, Nick?

987
00:48:31,699 --> 00:48:34,032
You got it, Joe.
Anything you say.

988
00:48:34,034 --> 00:48:36,798
Wouldn't be a meeting
without her. Right, Ali?

989
00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:38,664
I wouldn't miss it
for the world.

990
00:48:38,666 --> 00:48:40,797
That's right, girl,
you better not. You hear me?

991
00:48:40,799 --> 00:48:43,063
<i>What the fuck just happened?</i>

992
00:48:43,600 --> 00:48:44,831
It's a good-looking pot.

993
00:48:54,466 --> 00:48:56,096
<i>Damn, she's fine.</i>

994
00:48:56,999 --> 00:48:59,331
<i>She smells like cigar smoke
and whiskey.</i>

995
00:48:59,867 --> 00:49:01,364
<i>So sexy. Mm!</i>

996
00:49:02,267 --> 00:49:04,564
<i>Shame she's with
that skinny white guy.</i>

997
00:49:05,233 --> 00:49:06,598
<i>How did he get her?</i>

998
00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:08,865
He's gay.

999
00:49:08,867 --> 00:49:11,264
Gay. He's gay.

1000
00:49:11,266 --> 00:49:13,064
I'm sorry, what?

1001
00:49:13,333 --> 00:49:17,566
Oh, I thought you said something
about the guy that's always with me.

1002
00:49:17,568 --> 00:49:19,300
He's my assistant.

1003
00:49:19,302 --> 00:49:21,700
He's gay. He's my gay assistant.

1004
00:49:22,966 --> 00:49:23,964
Cool.

1005
00:49:25,501 --> 00:49:27,132
<i>Wonder if I should ask her out.</i>

1006
00:49:28,067 --> 00:49:30,097
<i>Why can't it ever be the woman
who makes the move?</i>

1007
00:49:31,401 --> 00:49:35,199
<i>I wish she would just slam me against
these elevator doors and kiss me.</i>

1008
00:49:36,835 --> 00:49:37,865
Excuse me?

1009
00:49:38,701 --> 00:49:40,631
- What are you doing?
- This.

1010
00:50:05,265 --> 00:50:07,029
Whoo!

1011
00:50:09,601 --> 00:50:10,997
- Let's take it upstairs to the loft.
- Ooh!

1012
00:50:10,999 --> 00:50:12,932
- It's sexier than the bedroom.
- Okay.

1013
00:50:12,934 --> 00:50:15,498
Wait, let me freshen up
a little bit.

1014
00:50:15,500 --> 00:50:16,697
- Bathroom's right there.
- Okay.

1015
00:50:16,699 --> 00:50:18,566
- And take your time, okay?
- Okay.

1016
00:50:18,568 --> 00:50:20,364
I got to say, it was spooky
how you read my mind.

1017
00:50:20,366 --> 00:50:22,931
<i>That was the hottest shit ever.</i>

1018
00:50:22,933 --> 00:50:23,963
Mm, mm.

1019
00:50:23,965 --> 00:50:25,465
Go get ready, go get ready.

1020
00:50:25,467 --> 00:50:27,197
Let me see you walk away.

1021
00:50:27,732 --> 00:50:28,830
I'm gonna get so ready.

1022
00:50:28,832 --> 00:50:30,364
- Whoo!
- <i>Oh, shit! Oh, damn!</i>

1023
00:50:30,366 --> 00:50:31,833
<i>She could be the one!</i>

1024
00:50:31,835 --> 00:50:35,865
Oh, shit! You into
that African freaky shit.

1025
00:50:35,867 --> 00:50:38,465
<i>♪ Ooh, I've been waiting, Lord ♪</i>

1026
00:51:08,533 --> 00:51:11,231
Oh. What kind of music is that?

1027
00:51:11,233 --> 00:51:15,833
Mm, I really love your artwork.
You're very cultured.

1028
00:51:15,835 --> 00:51:17,965
Are you ready? Here I come.

1029
00:51:17,967 --> 00:51:21,198
Why are you so quiet?

1030
00:51:24,768 --> 00:51:26,666
Before we begin,
we should agree on a safe word.

1031
00:51:26,668 --> 00:51:28,400
- What the fuck?
- No, no.

1032
00:51:28,402 --> 00:51:30,332
"What the fuck" won't work.
Something more specific.

1033
00:51:30,334 --> 00:51:32,667
Yeah, you know what?
I think I left my kid in the back seat.

1034
00:51:32,669 --> 00:51:33,865
But you stay right there.

1035
00:51:33,867 --> 00:51:35,733
- Hey! Come on!
- No, no, no!

1036
00:51:35,735 --> 00:51:37,933
I thought
you were the real deal!

1037
00:51:37,935 --> 00:51:41,167
Jamal Barry.
Now, you are the real deal.

1038
00:51:41,169 --> 00:51:44,333
And on behalf of
the entire Summit team,

1039
00:51:44,335 --> 00:51:49,134
I want to thank you for taking your
time to hear our presentation today.

1040
00:51:49,136 --> 00:51:52,233
All right, so I'ma bounce pass
this over to my man Kevin Myrtle.

1041
00:51:52,235 --> 00:51:53,899
And he'll take it from here.

1042
00:51:53,901 --> 00:51:56,067
- You're in good hands.
- Okay, take it away.

1043
00:51:56,069 --> 00:51:58,699
This agency represents the
biggest athletes in the world,

1044
00:51:58,701 --> 00:52:02,167
but we here believe
that you can surpass them all

1045
00:52:02,169 --> 00:52:05,967
with your skills,
your confidence, your charisma.

1046
00:52:05,969 --> 00:52:07,465
We see you

1047
00:52:07,467 --> 00:52:11,031
as the athlete that every kid
is gonna want to grow up to be.

1048
00:52:11,033 --> 00:52:12,864
Now, this is just
a little teaser

1049
00:52:12,866 --> 00:52:16,065
of the coming attractions
for Jamal Barry's future.

1050
00:52:17,767 --> 00:52:19,431
<i>♪ No cap, no cap ♪</i>

1051
00:52:19,433 --> 00:52:21,264
<i>♪ I see you motherfuckers
Wanna talk ♪</i>

1052
00:52:21,266 --> 00:52:23,331
<i>♪ About Jamal this
And Jamal that ♪</i>

1053
00:52:23,333 --> 00:52:25,166
<i>♪ But we balls to the wall
Motherfucker! ♪</i>

1054
00:52:25,168 --> 00:52:27,866
<i>♪ Y'all like small balls
I'm that big dog ♪</i>

1055
00:52:27,868 --> 00:52:30,198
<i>♪ I'm like Shaq D on Adderall
That's how I ball ♪</i>

1056
00:52:30,200 --> 00:52:31,765
<i>♪ See that private jet
That model chick ♪</i>

1057
00:52:31,767 --> 00:52:33,467
<i>♪ That's how I ball ♪</i>

1058
00:52:33,469 --> 00:52:34,864
<i>♪ See, she like it raw
She like it raw ♪</i>

1059
00:52:34,866 --> 00:52:37,098
<i>♪ That's how I ball ♪</i>

1060
00:52:37,100 --> 00:52:39,265
<i>♪ They try to put the head
On my salary I still ball ♪</i>

1061
00:52:39,267 --> 00:52:41,064
<i>♪ Respect the name Jamal
I come from Joe Barry's balls ♪</i>

1062
00:52:41,066 --> 00:52:42,599
<i>♪ If we can't talk at all ♪</i>

1063
00:52:42,601 --> 00:52:44,098
<i>♪ Then we can't talk at all ♪</i>

1064
00:52:44,100 --> 00:52:46,531
<i>♪ How I ball
How I ball ♪</i>

1065
00:52:49,568 --> 00:52:51,066
<i>♪ How I ball ♪</i>

1066
00:52:51,068 --> 00:52:53,132
<i>♪ And can't nobody ball
Like Jamal ♪</i>

1067
00:52:53,134 --> 00:52:55,132
<i>♪ And bitches love balls ♪</i>

1068
00:52:56,033 --> 00:52:58,131
<i>♪ Especially Jamal's balls ♪</i>

1069
00:52:59,202 --> 00:53:02,400
<i>♪ No cap, there's no cap
Yeah, there's no cap ♪</i>

1070
00:53:02,402 --> 00:53:03,699
Okay...

1071
00:53:04,201 --> 00:53:06,798
<i>♪ Yeah, there's no cap
Yeah, there's no cap ♪</i>

1072
00:53:12,001 --> 00:53:14,266
Nice.

1073
00:53:14,268 --> 00:53:15,600
Whoo!

1074
00:53:19,767 --> 00:53:21,698
Baller video, Kev.

1075
00:53:22,469 --> 00:53:24,266
Now, look, I...

1076
00:53:24,268 --> 00:53:26,731
That is a rough edit of, you
know, what we're feeling here.

1077
00:53:26,733 --> 00:53:31,099
<i>Ten percent for this reject
'90s Diddy video? Hell, no!</i>

1078
00:53:31,101 --> 00:53:32,800
<i>Man, get me out of here.</i>

1079
00:53:32,802 --> 00:53:35,066
<i>I just want to play some pickup
at Wabash Park.</i>

1080
00:53:35,068 --> 00:53:38,399
Oh, please, please,
gentlemen, please.

1081
00:53:38,401 --> 00:53:41,065
I think I know
what's on everybody's mind here.

1082
00:53:41,835 --> 00:53:43,932
You're not going with Summit.

1083
00:53:44,700 --> 00:53:46,134
And why should you?

1084
00:53:46,136 --> 00:53:50,166
That cheap '90s rap video
is not who you are.

1085
00:53:50,168 --> 00:53:51,465
That's right.

1086
00:53:51,836 --> 00:53:55,100
'Cause this boy's body
is a Shinto shrine, okay?

1087
00:53:55,102 --> 00:53:58,899
Every breakfast he ever has is
made with my patented smoothie.

1088
00:53:58,901 --> 00:54:01,100
<i>Oh, man, not the smoothie rant.</i>

1089
00:54:01,102 --> 00:54:06,401
We're talking about kale, chia
seed, coconut juice, avocados.

1090
00:54:06,403 --> 00:54:09,100
You know how many avocados
is in this boy's body?

1091
00:54:09,102 --> 00:54:10,733
Look at his legs!

1092
00:54:10,735 --> 00:54:13,168
On top of that,
fish oils, mega-nines,

1093
00:54:13,170 --> 00:54:14,968
sometimes fives and sixes.

1094
00:54:14,970 --> 00:54:16,700
- Omega.
- Depends on what I have.

1095
00:54:16,702 --> 00:54:19,166
Pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds.

1096
00:54:19,168 --> 00:54:21,998
- Some pistachios sometimes go in there.
- Okay.

1097
00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:23,864
- Whatever it is...
- Sounds healthy.

1098
00:54:23,866 --> 00:54:25,364
No, wait a minute!

1099
00:54:25,366 --> 00:54:28,032
I put more stuff in it.
Sometimes I add cherries.

1100
00:54:28,034 --> 00:54:30,298
A little soy sauce,
some duck sauce.

1101
00:54:30,300 --> 00:54:33,199
Okay, then I add more chia seed
on top of that!

1102
00:54:33,201 --> 00:54:35,098
I care about this here boy.

1103
00:54:35,567 --> 00:54:37,999
Okay, Joe...

1104
00:54:38,001 --> 00:54:42,498
You could hire a freelance agent
and pay only five percent,

1105
00:54:42,500 --> 00:54:45,966
but you would be missing out on what
a full-service agency has to offer.

1106
00:54:45,968 --> 00:54:48,733
Besides what, free Fiji water
and a sizzle reel?

1107
00:54:48,735 --> 00:54:52,766
Look, building a billion-dollar brand
goes beyond cutting costs. Okay?

1108
00:54:52,768 --> 00:54:56,700
It's about developing relationships
with leading sponsors.

1109
00:54:56,702 --> 00:54:59,431
Knowing who delivers
and who's all hype.

1110
00:54:59,433 --> 00:55:02,799
It's installing protections
to keep your money

1111
00:55:02,801 --> 00:55:04,732
through injuries, trades.

1112
00:55:04,734 --> 00:55:07,300
Look... It's...

1113
00:55:07,302 --> 00:55:11,399
It's not really about
our vision for you at all.

1114
00:55:11,401 --> 00:55:14,166
It's about
what's in your mind, Jamal.

1115
00:55:15,136 --> 00:55:15,898
Right on.

1116
00:55:15,900 --> 00:55:17,534
<i>That all sounds great,</i>

1117
00:55:17,536 --> 00:55:20,000
<i>but what I really could use
right now is a cup of coffee.</i>

1118
00:55:20,968 --> 00:55:26,133
Even... if it's as simple
as a cup of coffee.

1119
00:55:30,469 --> 00:55:31,366
Damn.

1120
00:55:32,136 --> 00:55:34,834
- How'd you know that?
- Just doing my job.

1121
00:55:34,836 --> 00:55:37,099
<i>Okay, now she's pissing me off.</i>

1122
00:55:37,101 --> 00:55:38,333
<i>What the fuck
just happened?</i>

1123
00:55:38,335 --> 00:55:39,867
<i>I thought
that video was awesome.</i>

1124
00:55:41,669 --> 00:55:43,066
You know what?
To be honest,

1125
00:55:43,068 --> 00:55:45,600
I never considered
a female agent until now.

1126
00:55:45,602 --> 00:55:48,400
Until Branch Rickey took a
chance on Jackie Robinson,

1127
00:55:48,402 --> 00:55:51,567
no one ever considered a colored
baseball player in the majors.

1128
00:55:51,569 --> 00:55:54,467
Well,
Branch Rickey was the mahatma.

1129
00:55:54,469 --> 00:55:57,900
- Mm-hmm.
- Only white man deserving of sainthood.

1130
00:55:57,902 --> 00:56:00,301
- Abraham Lincoln, Pop.
- But he was part Eskimo.

1131
00:56:00,303 --> 00:56:02,067
Mr. Barry's car is at the valet.

1132
00:56:02,069 --> 00:56:03,532
Thank you, Brandon.
And you know what?

1133
00:56:03,534 --> 00:56:05,733
I would love to finish
this conversation.

1134
00:56:05,735 --> 00:56:07,267
How about I invite you
to the Hawks game?

1135
00:56:07,269 --> 00:56:09,167
Sunday afternoon?
We have a sky suite.

1136
00:56:09,169 --> 00:56:12,033
- <i>Skybox... Fuck yes!</i>
- Can't do it. Not gonna happen.

1137
00:56:12,035 --> 00:56:14,267
- That's family day. You understand?
- Oh.

1138
00:56:14,269 --> 00:56:17,099
Hey, Sly and the Family Stone
could be coming out of seclusion.

1139
00:56:17,101 --> 00:56:19,434
I mean, it could be an asteroid
coming towards Earth.

1140
00:56:19,436 --> 00:56:20,700
"Oh, no, no!"

1141
00:56:20,702 --> 00:56:22,100
Not gonna happen,
you understand?

1142
00:56:22,102 --> 00:56:23,667
- 'Cause we lock it down.
- <i>Damn.</i>

1143
00:56:23,669 --> 00:56:25,900
But you know something,
you wouldn't understand that,

1144
00:56:25,902 --> 00:56:27,600
'cause you're not,
like, a family woman.

1145
00:56:28,436 --> 00:56:30,567
What makes you think
I'm not a family woman?

1146
00:56:30,569 --> 00:56:32,100
Whoo, whoo, whoo!

1147
00:56:32,102 --> 00:56:34,400
No disrespect.
I mean, you doing you.

1148
00:56:34,402 --> 00:56:36,302
But this is a different set
of values right here.

1149
00:56:36,304 --> 00:56:38,199
You know,
we all about the roots.

1150
00:56:38,201 --> 00:56:40,364
- So this is about the roots, it's deep.
- Roots.

1151
00:56:40,366 --> 00:56:42,064
<i>I don't trust a woman
with no family.</i>

1152
00:56:42,467 --> 00:56:45,898
<i>Like I don't trust a man with
no eyebrows and too many keys.</i>

1153
00:56:53,235 --> 00:56:57,600
As a matter of fact,
I will bring my family.

1154
00:56:58,069 --> 00:56:59,699
There they are, right there.

1155
00:56:59,701 --> 00:57:02,600
There, both of them, the big one
and the little. Hey, Will!

1156
00:57:02,602 --> 00:57:04,900
Hey! Hey! Will! Will!

1157
00:57:04,902 --> 00:57:06,365
Come over here.

1158
00:57:06,367 --> 00:57:08,300
Uh, who are they?

1159
00:57:08,302 --> 00:57:10,966
- This is your husband?
- Ah, the man put a ring on it.

1160
00:57:10,968 --> 00:57:14,099
Oh, yeah! Did you want me to
have your family wait upstairs?

1161
00:57:14,101 --> 00:57:15,400
No, I need you to roll calls.

1162
00:57:15,402 --> 00:57:17,600
- Roll calls, Brandon.
- Okay.

1163
00:57:17,602 --> 00:57:20,033
Hey! Hey.

1164
00:57:20,035 --> 00:57:21,533
- Hey.
- Hey.

1165
00:57:21,535 --> 00:57:23,668
<i>Oh, now she's smiling?
Clearly crazy.</i>

1166
00:57:23,670 --> 00:57:24,999
<i>Who the fuck are they?</i>

1167
00:57:26,100 --> 00:57:28,234
Um, Will, this is Jamal Barry

1168
00:57:28,236 --> 00:57:30,034
and his dad, Joe Dolla.

1169
00:57:30,036 --> 00:57:31,300
That's Ben.

1170
00:57:31,302 --> 00:57:33,099
<i>Holy shit, it is.</i>

1171
00:57:33,101 --> 00:57:34,766
- Wassup, man?
- What's goin' on, brother?

1172
00:57:35,235 --> 00:57:37,067
Yeah, bring it on in here,
playa!

1173
00:57:37,402 --> 00:57:39,999
Right on.
That's a live one on your hands.

1174
00:57:40,001 --> 00:57:41,633
Oh, yes, I'm alive.

1175
00:57:41,635 --> 00:57:43,966
You talking about him?

1176
00:57:44,601 --> 00:57:46,000
You got me!

1177
00:57:46,002 --> 00:57:48,468
He's a funny fella.
This guy's a prankster.

1178
00:57:48,470 --> 00:57:49,533
He is.

1179
00:57:50,001 --> 00:57:51,366
Ow.

1180
00:57:51,368 --> 00:57:53,300
I dig this here,
but you know what?

1181
00:57:53,302 --> 00:57:55,001
I'ma let y'all have
your family time.

1182
00:57:55,003 --> 00:57:56,866
Girl, you look like
you spit this little boy out.

1183
00:57:56,868 --> 00:57:58,334
"Family time"?

1184
00:57:58,336 --> 00:58:00,134
You look
just like your mother, boy.

1185
00:58:00,136 --> 00:58:02,032
Okay, I'll talk to you later.
All right! Yes.

1186
00:58:02,436 --> 00:58:04,367
So, hey,
what are you guys doing here?

1187
00:58:04,969 --> 00:58:07,234
Go ahead, do your thing.
Show her.

1188
00:58:07,236 --> 00:58:11,168
Sorry. I found your license
on the floor in my dad's room.

1189
00:58:11,170 --> 00:58:14,734
And I'm also sorry for wearing
your underwear on my head.

1190
00:58:14,736 --> 00:58:17,100
Okay. Thank you. Um...

1191
00:58:17,304 --> 00:58:18,901
And, you know,
I should probably apologize

1192
00:58:18,903 --> 00:58:20,834
for leaving your house
in such a frenzy, I just...

1193
00:58:21,137 --> 00:58:23,167
I can be short with people
sometimes.

1194
00:58:23,569 --> 00:58:25,734
I'm sure you probably thought
I was crazy.

1195
00:58:26,270 --> 00:58:29,701
<i>Crazy people don't think
they're crazy, so maybe she's not.</i>

1196
00:58:30,370 --> 00:58:32,769
- Mm-hmm.
- Can you try to be nice to my dad?

1197
00:58:32,771 --> 00:58:35,534
Ever since Mom died,
Dad's been very lonely.

1198
00:58:35,536 --> 00:58:38,669
- What?
- Whoa, whoa, hey, hey. It's okay, buddy.

1199
00:58:38,671 --> 00:58:40,800
Why didn't you say that to me
in the beginning?

1200
00:58:41,036 --> 00:58:43,202
Well, I was gonna tell you
that morning,

1201
00:58:43,204 --> 00:58:45,468
but you ran out so fast, you...

1202
00:58:46,136 --> 00:58:47,768
You know, I'm...
I'm sorry about...

1203
00:58:47,770 --> 00:58:49,735
<i>Wait,
why am I apologizing to her?</i>

1204
00:58:49,737 --> 00:58:51,302
<i>I didn't do nothing wrong.</i>

1205
00:58:51,304 --> 00:58:52,966
You know what?
Why don't I make it up to both of you

1206
00:58:52,968 --> 00:58:56,234
and invite you to the Hawks
and Timberwolves game on Sunday?

1207
00:58:56,236 --> 00:58:57,566
We have a skybox.

1208
00:58:57,568 --> 00:59:01,032
<i>Karl-Anthony Towns? Skybox!</i>

1209
00:59:01,470 --> 00:59:02,867
- You serious?
- Yes.

1210
00:59:03,168 --> 00:59:05,400
Well, yeah.
Yeah, that'd be nice.

1211
00:59:05,402 --> 00:59:08,333
- Okay, well, I'll see you Sunday. Great.
- All right, cool, cool.

1212
00:59:17,368 --> 00:59:19,365
- Can I talk to you for a second?
- Mm-hmm.

1213
00:59:24,069 --> 00:59:26,667
Hey, that was supposed to be
a team presentation,

1214
00:59:26,669 --> 00:59:29,200
not some bullshit
"You go, girl" moment.

1215
00:59:29,202 --> 00:59:31,133
The only bullshit in that room

1216
00:59:31,135 --> 00:59:33,868
was that racist <i>Lifestyle
of the Rich and Clueless</i> shit!

1217
00:59:33,870 --> 00:59:35,835
<i>Ball-busting bitch!</i>

1218
00:59:36,936 --> 00:59:38,401
Well, if Team Bro

1219
00:59:38,403 --> 00:59:40,568
would listen to a sister
every once in a while,

1220
00:59:40,570 --> 00:59:42,933
maybe I wouldn't have to be
a ball-busting bitch.

1221
00:59:42,935 --> 00:59:44,134
I did not say that.

1222
00:59:44,136 --> 00:59:45,501
<i>Shit, did I?</i>

1223
00:59:45,503 --> 00:59:47,200
If you didn't, you thought it.

1224
00:59:47,537 --> 00:59:49,602
<i>Stop moving the car.</i>

1225
00:59:51,003 --> 00:59:53,402
<i>Stop moving the fucking car.</i>

1226
00:59:53,938 --> 00:59:56,901
I know it was you
who voted me down from partner.

1227
00:59:56,903 --> 01:00:00,302
What? I voted to make you
partner every single time,

1228
01:00:00,304 --> 01:00:02,501
and please stop moving
the fucking car!

1229
01:00:02,503 --> 01:00:04,734
<i>Maybe I shouldn't have.
You're crazy as fuck.</i>

1230
01:00:05,102 --> 01:00:06,234
Wait.

1231
01:00:07,704 --> 01:00:09,068
You really voted for me?

1232
01:00:09,070 --> 01:00:12,000
Yes! This is a business.
I'm a numbers guy.

1233
01:00:12,002 --> 01:00:13,634
You get the numbers.
End of story.

1234
01:00:13,636 --> 01:00:16,401
All right, so if it wasn't you,
then who was it?

1235
01:00:16,403 --> 01:00:18,102
I don't know.
It could've been anyone!

1236
01:00:18,104 --> 01:00:19,769
It's not like you have
a lot of friends here.

1237
01:00:19,771 --> 01:00:21,868
You're constantly
throwing the first punch,

1238
01:00:21,870 --> 01:00:24,000
and you got you and no one else.

1239
01:00:25,736 --> 01:00:28,468
That's bullshit.
That's bullshit.

1240
01:00:28,470 --> 01:00:31,469
Because if I were a man,
people would say I play hard.

1241
01:00:31,471 --> 01:00:34,602
<i>If you were a man,
people would say that you were a dick.</i>

1242
01:00:37,772 --> 01:00:39,269
Well, thanks for the talk.

1243
01:00:39,271 --> 01:00:42,436
It's always nice for a woman
to be called a dick.

1244
01:00:44,437 --> 01:00:45,335
Wha...

1245
01:00:45,337 --> 01:00:47,135
I did not say that.

1246
01:00:47,137 --> 01:00:50,503
<i>No more dating strippers
unless Fantasia calls me back.</i>

1247
01:00:50,505 --> 01:00:52,734
<i>I'm getting fat.
Like, Rerun fat.</i>

1248
01:00:52,736 --> 01:00:55,501
Hey, Ali. I heard you crushed
your Jamal Barry meeting. Nice.

1249
01:00:55,503 --> 01:00:57,202
<i>I'm so hot for you!</i>

1250
01:00:57,204 --> 01:00:58,403
<i>I wish I could
scream it out loud,</i>

1251
01:00:58,405 --> 01:00:59,835
<i>but no one would understand.</i>

1252
01:00:59,837 --> 01:01:01,670
Oh, Danny, thank you.
You're so sweet.

1253
01:01:01,672 --> 01:01:03,369
<i>Don't think I don't see
that big-ass dick</i>

1254
01:01:03,371 --> 01:01:05,068
<i>trying to bust
through those pants.</i>

1255
01:01:05,803 --> 01:01:06,735
What did you say?

1256
01:01:08,169 --> 01:01:09,600
We didn't say anything.

1257
01:01:09,969 --> 01:01:11,934
I'm gonna, uh...
go back to my desk.

1258
01:01:11,936 --> 01:01:14,133
Um, I'll see you two later.

1259
01:01:15,303 --> 01:01:17,333
<i>You and me, Brandon, someday.</i>

1260
01:01:33,537 --> 01:01:37,267
So, Nick, what'd Ali mention
about five-percent commission?

1261
01:01:37,269 --> 01:01:39,301
Five-percent commission.
She's hilarious.

1262
01:01:39,303 --> 01:01:40,667
Would you excuse me a second?

1263
01:01:42,603 --> 01:01:45,068
So when is this fabulous
fake family gonna show?

1264
01:01:45,070 --> 01:01:46,568
They will be here.

1265
01:01:46,570 --> 01:01:48,900
Well, the Barry Bunch
keep asking for him.

1266
01:01:49,368 --> 01:01:52,099
- Hey.
- Hey!

1267
01:01:52,704 --> 01:01:55,167
- Hey, sorry we're late.
- I know, honey.

1268
01:01:55,169 --> 01:01:56,833
You had a rough day.

1269
01:01:57,069 --> 01:02:00,101
And you, you little... thing.

1270
01:02:01,236 --> 01:02:02,467
Go.

1271
01:02:03,236 --> 01:02:04,568
Hey, yo, Ali!

1272
01:02:04,903 --> 01:02:08,001
I have a monumentally
important question to ask you.

1273
01:02:08,003 --> 01:02:10,167
- Okay.
- Do you trust Elon Musk?

1274
01:02:10,169 --> 01:02:12,902
'Cause that man is one white
glove and metal hand away

1275
01:02:12,904 --> 01:02:14,834
from being a James Bond villain.

1276
01:02:14,836 --> 01:02:16,302
Freaky.

1277
01:02:16,304 --> 01:02:17,570
Hey, thanks again
for inviting us, Ali.

1278
01:02:17,572 --> 01:02:19,069
- Okay, yes.
- Appreciate you.

1279
01:02:19,071 --> 01:02:20,835
- Wassup, Will?
- Wassup, Jamal?

1280
01:02:20,837 --> 01:02:22,702
- What's going on, man?
- Hey, man. You good?

1281
01:02:22,704 --> 01:02:24,836
- Yes, sir.
- Yeah, yeah, I'm... I'm... I'm good.

1282
01:02:24,838 --> 01:02:27,569
<i>Holy shit, Jamal Barry
remembered my name!</i>

1283
01:02:27,571 --> 01:02:29,301
That skank is a ho.

1284
01:02:29,971 --> 01:02:31,769
Ali Cat and Will of the People,

1285
01:02:31,771 --> 01:02:34,769
that is my baby girl,
my wife. Loretta!

1286
01:02:34,771 --> 01:02:37,503
I know, bitch is always talking
shit about other people.

1287
01:02:37,505 --> 01:02:40,135
Her nappy weave
is some virgin hair from Peru.

1288
01:02:40,137 --> 01:02:43,102
- I'm fine.
- Baby, will you please get off the phone?

1289
01:02:43,104 --> 01:02:44,735
You said this was family day.

1290
01:02:44,737 --> 01:02:46,536
I know.
I'm talking to my mother.

1291
01:02:46,538 --> 01:02:47,902
Oh, I didn't know.

1292
01:02:48,405 --> 01:02:50,002
Look, Ma, I got to go.

1293
01:02:50,004 --> 01:02:51,669
<i>If she botches this,
she is fired.</i>

1294
01:02:51,671 --> 01:02:53,470
And, baby, this is Ali.

1295
01:02:53,472 --> 01:02:55,269
She's the one I demolished
in poker night.

1296
01:02:55,271 --> 01:02:57,202
- Mm.
- I brought out the alpha dogs.

1297
01:02:57,538 --> 01:03:01,203
Is that the same alpha dog who was
supposed to get me a pinot grigio?

1298
01:03:01,205 --> 01:03:02,769
You know,
I tell you what, Mrs. Barry,

1299
01:03:02,771 --> 01:03:04,535
why don't I step out
to the main bar with you

1300
01:03:04,537 --> 01:03:06,770
and then I can get
some Mama Jamal stories, huh?

1301
01:03:06,772 --> 01:03:08,802
- Hey, bubby, don't be long!
- Mm-hmm.

1302
01:03:08,804 --> 01:03:10,203
You're my oxygen!

1303
01:03:12,872 --> 01:03:15,369
<i>Now, this is the court
I want to play on.</i>

1304
01:03:18,505 --> 01:03:19,970
- Ben, come here.
- Ben, come here.

1305
01:03:20,372 --> 01:03:22,637
- Ben, come here.
- Ben-Ben, come here. Here, now.

1306
01:03:23,037 --> 01:03:25,567
- Ben. Ben-ben, come here.
- No, Ben. Come, come, come...

1307
01:03:26,304 --> 01:03:27,668
- Ben, Ben, come here.
- Ben, come here.

1308
01:03:27,670 --> 01:03:29,867
- Ben, Ben.
- Ben.

1309
01:03:30,203 --> 01:03:31,401
- Ben.
- Ben. Come...

1310
01:03:31,803 --> 01:03:33,600
- Ben, come here.
- Ben, Ben, come here.

1311
01:03:33,871 --> 01:03:37,167
Wow! Y'all are cute, man.
Y'all so cute!

1312
01:03:37,169 --> 01:03:39,868
Ahh!

1313
01:03:39,870 --> 01:03:42,202
Like peanut butter and jelly
and pickled herring,

1314
01:03:42,204 --> 01:03:43,635
you know,
but you got arms and legs.

1315
01:03:43,938 --> 01:03:46,535
- That's so us.
- How did y'all meet?

1316
01:03:46,770 --> 01:03:48,734
- Uh... I'll take it! We...
- Well, I...

1317
01:03:49,669 --> 01:03:51,901
Uh, well,
it's kind of embarrassing.

1318
01:03:52,371 --> 01:03:53,936
It was a one-night stand.

1319
01:03:54,205 --> 01:03:56,668
Wow, nice! Yeah, nice.

1320
01:03:56,670 --> 01:03:59,868
Hey, ain't nothing wrong with a little
bit of shame in the Walk of Shame.

1321
01:03:59,870 --> 01:04:01,836
You know what I'm saying?
That's a paradox.

1322
01:04:01,838 --> 01:04:03,802
But now y'all can enjoy
your fruits of y'all labor,

1323
01:04:03,804 --> 01:04:06,036
'cause that's what it's about!
You know, 'cause...

1324
01:04:06,038 --> 01:04:08,502
<i>What in the fuck
is he talking about?</i>

1325
01:04:08,504 --> 01:04:09,968
Fruits, he's...

1326
01:04:09,970 --> 01:04:11,836
Little man! You planning
being a baller someday?

1327
01:04:11,838 --> 01:04:13,101
Oh, yes! Ben...

1328
01:04:13,103 --> 01:04:15,068
Big Ben loves basketball.
Isn't that right, Ben?

1329
01:04:15,070 --> 01:04:17,602
I don't... I don't really...
I don't really think so.

1330
01:04:17,604 --> 01:04:19,136
Actually, no. You know...

1331
01:04:19,138 --> 01:04:21,035
He finds the craziest stuff
on the Internet.

1332
01:04:21,037 --> 01:04:22,903
- Yes, he does.
- I got to limit his screen time.

1333
01:04:22,905 --> 01:04:24,935
You know? Because me,
you know, I'm a single...

1334
01:04:24,937 --> 01:04:27,536
- Uh, you know what?
- I am... parched.

1335
01:04:27,538 --> 01:04:29,468
Can you please get me
some wine, baby?

1336
01:04:29,738 --> 01:04:31,736
Yeah, yeah. What do you want?
They got red, white...

1337
01:04:31,738 --> 01:04:33,936
It doesn't matter. Surprise me.

1338
01:04:33,938 --> 01:04:36,304
- Go get some. Just go get me some.
- Ali.

1339
01:04:36,306 --> 01:04:37,970
Ah, you know me.

1340
01:04:37,972 --> 01:04:39,003
Get me some!

1341
01:04:39,504 --> 01:04:40,836
- Surprise me!
- You've got a strong hand.

1342
01:04:40,838 --> 01:04:42,802
- Oh, you so crazy!
- It's strong.

1343
01:04:42,804 --> 01:04:44,737
- He's silly.
- He don't know your wine preference?

1344
01:04:44,739 --> 01:04:46,935
Oh, he does.
We just like surprises, that's all.

1345
01:04:46,937 --> 01:04:49,702
Guess what?
My birthday's next week.

1346
01:04:50,071 --> 01:04:52,001
Ooh! How old you gonna be?

1347
01:04:53,038 --> 01:04:54,070
Tell him, Ben.

1348
01:04:54,072 --> 01:04:55,169
Six.

1349
01:04:55,171 --> 01:04:56,536
Six.

1350
01:04:56,538 --> 01:04:57,870
You gonna blow it out,
little man?

1351
01:04:57,872 --> 01:04:59,702
Yes!
We're gonna do it really big.

1352
01:04:59,704 --> 01:05:01,970
We're gonna do big things
for his birthday. Right, Ben?

1353
01:05:01,972 --> 01:05:04,736
- You are?
- Yeah! Really big.

1354
01:05:04,939 --> 01:05:08,436
If we're talking blowout,
what I really wanted is

1355
01:05:08,438 --> 01:05:10,535
a cake shaped like a sports car.

1356
01:05:10,537 --> 01:05:13,802
Oh, you got it, Ben! You got it.

1357
01:05:13,804 --> 01:05:14,770
Promise?

1358
01:05:15,005 --> 01:05:16,369
Yes, I promise.

1359
01:05:16,371 --> 01:05:18,302
What... Wait, wait...
Oh!

1360
01:05:19,305 --> 01:05:21,235
That's a beautiful thing, girl.

1361
01:05:21,538 --> 01:05:22,536
Ooh-hoo-hoo.

1362
01:05:23,906 --> 01:05:27,504
Well, thank you so much for coming.
I hope you had a good time.

1363
01:05:27,506 --> 01:05:29,671
Oh, no. We had an amazing time.
Thank you.

1364
01:05:29,673 --> 01:05:32,203
Hey, um, how about tomorrow
night I'll take you out?

1365
01:05:32,706 --> 01:05:35,636
But we gonna do something a little
bit more low-key than, uh...

1366
01:05:35,638 --> 01:05:38,102
- Oh, yeah, sure! Sure.
- Yeah, okay.

1367
01:05:38,104 --> 01:05:40,336
Okay, well, you go ahead home.

1368
01:05:40,338 --> 01:05:42,635
- Oh, hey!
- Wha... What...

1369
01:05:42,637 --> 01:05:44,768
- Good night! Good night. Ohh!
- Uh, okay...

1370
01:05:44,770 --> 01:05:46,803
Make sure you put him into bed.
I'll see you soon.

1371
01:05:46,805 --> 01:05:48,635
- I got it, I got it.
- All right, okay.

1372
01:05:48,637 --> 01:05:51,734
This boy get up and he drink
smoothies 16 times a day.

1373
01:05:51,736 --> 01:05:53,969
Sometimes he get the runs,
but it's all good.

1374
01:05:53,971 --> 01:05:55,837
That's only
when his mother make it.

1375
01:05:55,839 --> 01:05:57,936
You know what I'm saying?
'Cause she just overloads.

1376
01:05:57,938 --> 01:05:58,934
Ali?

1377
01:05:59,438 --> 01:06:01,134
Karl-Anthony!

1378
01:06:01,136 --> 01:06:03,268
- How you doing, sweetheart?
- Great game, baby!

1379
01:06:03,270 --> 01:06:05,236
Triple double and we didn't win.
So, it don't mean shit.

1380
01:06:05,238 --> 01:06:07,102
- You know how that go.
- Those numbers, though.

1381
01:06:07,104 --> 01:06:09,634
You keep putting those numbers up.
Hey, Jamal!

1382
01:06:09,636 --> 01:06:11,101
Come here, I got somebody
I want you to meet.

1383
01:06:11,103 --> 01:06:13,468
- Oh, that's your mans?
- Well, I'm working on it.

1384
01:06:13,470 --> 01:06:15,602
- I feels you.
- <i>Holy shit! Don't freak out.</i>

1385
01:06:15,604 --> 01:06:17,437
<i>It's Karl-Anthony!
Yo, he's looking at me!</i>

1386
01:06:17,439 --> 01:06:18,403
Yo, Jamal Barry, right?

1387
01:06:18,905 --> 01:06:20,903
- Yes, sir. Yep.
- Appreciate it, man. Much love.

1388
01:06:20,905 --> 01:06:22,736
- Nice to meet you.
- Absolutely. Absolutely.

1389
01:06:22,738 --> 01:06:25,736
<i>Holy shit!
Uh, hey, hey, don't freak out.</i>

1390
01:06:25,738 --> 01:06:27,968
Yo, I've been watching you
since high school, man.

1391
01:06:27,970 --> 01:06:30,101
I must say, young fella,
I'm pretty impressed.

1392
01:06:30,338 --> 01:06:32,636
- Oh, for real?
- Yeah, man, you're killing it.

1393
01:06:32,638 --> 01:06:35,136
- Cool. Yeah, yeah, that's cool.
- <i>Kid's nervous.</i>

1394
01:06:35,138 --> 01:06:37,970
<i>Probably thinking, "Holy shit,
it's Karl-Anthony Towns!"</i>

1395
01:06:37,972 --> 01:06:40,802
<i>Holy shit,
it's Karl-Anthony Towns!</i>

1396
01:06:40,804 --> 01:06:44,269
Karl-Anthony, do you have any
advice for our young fella here?

1397
01:06:44,271 --> 01:06:46,136
Listen, man, for real,

1398
01:06:46,138 --> 01:06:48,603
you got great things ahead of
you, but always remember,

1399
01:06:48,839 --> 01:06:51,471
no one has ever become a star
playing for himself.

1400
01:06:51,473 --> 01:06:52,937
Always got to keep
the team first.

1401
01:06:52,939 --> 01:06:55,970
<i>♪ If you like piña coladas ♪</i>

1402
01:06:55,972 --> 01:06:58,137
<i>♪ And getting caught
In the rain ♪</i>

1403
01:06:58,139 --> 01:07:00,838
<i>Damn! Got to get that
stupid song out of my head.</i>

1404
01:07:00,840 --> 01:07:02,370
- You feel me?
- Totally.

1405
01:07:02,372 --> 01:07:04,537
<i>I have no idea
what he just said.</i>

1406
01:07:05,105 --> 01:07:07,836
- Oh, shit. I'll see you.
- Yo, Karl!

1407
01:07:08,206 --> 01:07:10,104
Hey, Karl! Hey, Karl!

1408
01:07:10,106 --> 01:07:13,637
Hey, I got a way to disrupt
the children's beverage sector!

1409
01:07:13,939 --> 01:07:15,469
That was a great game, right?

1410
01:07:15,972 --> 01:07:18,936
Well, just give me a call
if you need anything else, okay?

1411
01:07:18,938 --> 01:07:21,438
As a matter of fact,
there is something I need.

1412
01:07:21,440 --> 01:07:24,504
Can I get a ballpark estimate
of what kind of deals we expect?

1413
01:07:24,506 --> 01:07:26,905
You know what I'm saying?
Just for financial planning purposes.

1414
01:07:26,907 --> 01:07:31,371
Pops, you can't ask her to do work for
us if you haven't signed with her agency.

1415
01:07:31,373 --> 01:07:33,270
Yeah, but if I like what I hear,

1416
01:07:33,272 --> 01:07:35,537
we can say we got ourselves an agent.

1417
01:07:39,739 --> 01:07:42,337
Brandon! Can you get me
some coffee, please? Thank you.

1418
01:07:42,339 --> 01:07:44,738
<i>Peach cobbler,
peach cobbler, peach cobbler.</i>

1419
01:07:44,740 --> 01:07:46,838
<i>Peach cobbler with blueberries.</i>

1420
01:07:46,840 --> 01:07:49,005
<i>Peach cobbler warmed up.
Peach cobbler.</i>

1421
01:07:49,007 --> 01:07:50,870
- What are you mumbling about?
- <i>Peach cobbler à la mode.</i>

1422
01:07:50,872 --> 01:07:53,203
I am thinking about
my favorite dessert

1423
01:07:53,205 --> 01:07:55,436
so that you can't hear
my actual thoughts.

1424
01:07:55,438 --> 01:07:58,070
Oh, no, no, no.
Out with it. Come, come.

1425
01:07:58,072 --> 01:08:00,002
I believe
you are a good person.

1426
01:08:00,004 --> 01:08:02,436
So, I am choosing to chalk
this fake-family business

1427
01:08:02,438 --> 01:08:04,870
up to an overabundance
of competitive spirit.

1428
01:08:04,872 --> 01:08:06,969
- Give me my coffee.
- There, I said it.

1429
01:08:08,371 --> 01:08:10,304
- Please.
- Oh, speak of the devil,

1430
01:08:10,306 --> 01:08:12,336
here is your fake husband now.

1431
01:08:12,771 --> 01:08:15,436
Aw, Will is inviting you
to hang out tonight.

1432
01:08:15,438 --> 01:08:16,837
No.

1433
01:08:16,839 --> 01:08:19,502
- "That sounds like fun."
- What are you doing?

1434
01:08:19,504 --> 01:08:21,702
- "Let's do it."
- Uh, no.

1435
01:08:21,704 --> 01:08:22,836
Can you stop typing?

1436
01:08:22,838 --> 01:08:24,268
I'm not going on a date tonight!

1437
01:08:24,771 --> 01:08:28,936
"Any way I could bring
my friend Mari..."

1438
01:08:28,938 --> 01:08:30,971
- Wha...
- "...and her fiancé?

1439
01:08:30,973 --> 01:08:34,169
Just realized we had plans.
Could be a fun double date."

1440
01:08:34,171 --> 01:08:35,570
- Exclamation point.
- No, no!

1441
01:08:35,572 --> 01:08:36,770
- We do not...
- Send.

1442
01:08:36,772 --> 01:08:38,336
I don't have plans with her.

1443
01:08:38,338 --> 01:08:39,969
Come here, you little...

1444
01:08:41,039 --> 01:08:42,771
I don't have plans with Mari.

1445
01:08:42,773 --> 01:08:44,370
Exactly,
and she's getting resentful.

1446
01:08:44,372 --> 01:08:46,404
This way, you knock out
two birds with one stone

1447
01:08:46,406 --> 01:08:48,903
while using Mari and James as a buffer.
You're welcome.

1448
01:08:50,839 --> 01:08:52,803
Okay, fine. Fine.

1449
01:08:52,805 --> 01:08:56,505
But you agented me,
and agents do not like being agented.

1450
01:08:56,507 --> 01:08:59,037
<i>Too bad.
And I should be an agent.</i>

1451
01:08:59,039 --> 01:09:02,636
- What?
- You heard me, loud and clear.

1452
01:09:03,738 --> 01:09:07,904
So, you think you got what it takes
to be a good sports agent. Really?

1453
01:09:07,906 --> 01:09:09,471
What do...
what do you know about sports?

1454
01:09:09,473 --> 01:09:12,436
- <i>Oh, basically everything!</i>
- Oh, please.

1455
01:09:12,438 --> 01:09:14,171
<i>I'll bet you didn't know
that Tom Brady,</i>

1456
01:09:14,173 --> 01:09:16,337
<i>the 199th pick
of the 2000 NFL draft,</i>

1457
01:09:16,339 --> 01:09:18,671
<i>has more playoff
touchdown passes, 68,</i>

1458
01:09:18,673 --> 01:09:20,938
<i>than number-one picks David
Carr, 65, and Tim Couch, 64,</i>

1459
01:09:20,940 --> 01:09:22,771
<i>had in their entire careers.</i>

1460
01:09:22,773 --> 01:09:24,537
- I knew that.
- Oh, yeah?

1461
01:09:24,841 --> 01:09:27,304
And do you know what happened
on June 25, 2009?

1462
01:09:28,506 --> 01:09:30,302
Michael Jackson passed. Ha!

1463
01:09:31,240 --> 01:09:32,939
True. And tragic.

1464
01:09:32,941 --> 01:09:35,171
But it was also the day
that Steph Curry was selected

1465
01:09:35,173 --> 01:09:38,005
as the seventh overall pick
in the 2009 NBA draft

1466
01:09:38,007 --> 01:09:39,638
by the Golden State Warriors,

1467
01:09:39,640 --> 01:09:42,337
with a contract
totaling $12.7 million

1468
01:09:42,339 --> 01:09:44,836
over four years.

1469
01:09:45,373 --> 01:09:47,237
Isn't that great?

1470
01:09:47,606 --> 01:09:49,972
You know sports trivia.
That's beautiful.

1471
01:09:49,974 --> 01:09:51,738
But it takes more
to being an agent.

1472
01:09:51,740 --> 01:09:53,471
You have to know
how to handle people, sweetie.

1473
01:09:53,473 --> 01:09:54,939
<i>Oh, you mean like
when I stopped you</i>

1474
01:09:54,941 --> 01:09:56,404
<i>from handing Rafael Nadal</i>

1475
01:09:56,406 --> 01:09:58,038
<i>a passed appetizer
with ham in it</i>

1476
01:09:58,040 --> 01:09:59,939
<i>because I read
in his autobiography</i>

1477
01:09:59,941 --> 01:10:00,871
<i>that he hates ham, cheese,
storms, and animals?</i>

1478
01:10:00,873 --> 01:10:03,171
- <i>Okurrr!</i>
- Mm.

1479
01:10:03,173 --> 01:10:05,103
Oops, sorry.
Did that slip out?

1480
01:10:05,308 --> 01:10:07,472
Ooh. Someone's in a mood.

1481
01:10:07,474 --> 01:10:10,604
Oh! I have a pick-me-up.

1482
01:10:10,606 --> 01:10:12,337
You have a secret admirer.

1483
01:10:12,339 --> 01:10:14,903
Oh, please. You are just trying
to change the subject,

1484
01:10:14,905 --> 01:10:16,636
- and it is not going to work.
- Mm-mmm.

1485
01:10:17,139 --> 01:10:18,869
<i>Okay, tell me who it is.</i>

1486
01:10:19,504 --> 01:10:21,069
Well, apparently,

1487
01:10:21,071 --> 01:10:23,036
Puppy Dog Danny
wasn't crushing on me.

1488
01:10:23,038 --> 01:10:24,803
It's you he wants to mount.

1489
01:10:24,805 --> 01:10:26,503
Ooh, there he is.

1490
01:10:26,505 --> 01:10:27,970
How big you think
Shaq's dick is?

1491
01:10:27,972 --> 01:10:31,137
Yeah, he's closeted, honey.

1492
01:10:31,538 --> 01:10:34,771
And he wants to pound
on your booty cheeks.

1493
01:10:35,172 --> 01:10:37,904
I don't know why.
But there you have it.

1494
01:10:57,472 --> 01:10:59,839
Ohh! Ho-ho!

1495
01:10:59,841 --> 01:11:02,271
You suck so bad.

1496
01:11:02,273 --> 01:11:04,304
You look like you had
a seizure, girl.

1497
01:11:04,306 --> 01:11:06,937
You can just pick up the ball and
drop it in the hole next time.

1498
01:11:06,939 --> 01:11:09,705
Really? You know,
both of y'all can shut up.

1499
01:11:10,339 --> 01:11:11,670
Nice shot, baby.

1500
01:11:12,139 --> 01:11:13,070
Bam!

1501
01:11:17,806 --> 01:11:19,772
Hey, can I get
some more limes, please?

1502
01:11:19,774 --> 01:11:21,039
Sure.

1503
01:11:21,041 --> 01:11:22,506
Here you go, keep the change.

1504
01:11:22,940 --> 01:11:24,204
- Thanks.
- That's right.

1505
01:11:24,206 --> 01:11:25,637
<i>Man, look at that ass!</i>

1506
01:11:26,006 --> 01:11:27,903
<i>I should tap that
before the wedding.</i>

1507
01:11:28,372 --> 01:11:29,705
<i>Shit, or after.</i>

1508
01:11:30,639 --> 01:11:32,303
- You up, Ali.
- Mm-hmm.

1509
01:11:33,906 --> 01:11:35,837
- Excuse me.
- Go ahead.

1510
01:11:36,306 --> 01:11:37,839
Oh!

1511
01:11:37,841 --> 01:11:39,438
- Shit!
- Ali!

1512
01:11:39,440 --> 01:11:41,170
What the fuck?
Those are his nuts!

1513
01:11:41,172 --> 01:11:43,406
Which are getting married to me
Saturday,

1514
01:11:43,408 --> 01:11:46,039
- and I want them in good shape.
- Both balls, honey.

1515
01:11:46,041 --> 01:11:47,605
- Both of 'em?
- Yeah.

1516
01:11:47,607 --> 01:11:49,471
<i>Man, why is Mari
even friends with Ali?</i>

1517
01:11:49,473 --> 01:11:51,573
<i>She only gives a shit
about herself anyways.</i>

1518
01:11:51,575 --> 01:11:52,639
<i>Always flaking.</i>

1519
01:11:54,007 --> 01:11:55,704
<i>Only reason she's here tonight
is to show off her new guy.</i>

1520
01:11:55,906 --> 01:11:58,205
<i>What he wearing anyway?
Tight-ass jeans.</i>

1521
01:11:58,207 --> 01:12:01,438
- Uh, are you having fun?
- Yeah.

1522
01:12:01,440 --> 01:12:03,138
- Work hard, play hard, right?
- Mm-hmm.

1523
01:12:03,140 --> 01:12:05,171
Uh-huh.

1524
01:12:07,807 --> 01:12:11,071
- Anyone need anything else?
- No, we're good, thanks.

1525
01:12:12,539 --> 01:12:14,871
- Nice shot.
- Thanks.

1526
01:12:17,908 --> 01:12:21,406
Well, look at you,
impressing all the ladies.

1527
01:12:21,408 --> 01:12:23,172
Her?

1528
01:12:23,540 --> 01:12:24,435
Whatever.

1529
01:12:24,938 --> 01:12:26,937
<i>Why would I waste
a second on her</i>

1530
01:12:26,939 --> 01:12:29,003
<i>when I got you standing
right here in front of me?</i>

1531
01:12:34,207 --> 01:12:35,137
Um...

1532
01:12:35,440 --> 01:12:36,671
You know what?

1533
01:12:36,673 --> 01:12:38,236
Why don't you show me
how to play?

1534
01:12:38,238 --> 01:12:39,970
'Cause I suck.

1535
01:12:39,972 --> 01:12:41,536
- I would love to.
- Okay.

1536
01:12:41,538 --> 01:12:43,736
And to be clear,
if I'm putting my arms around you,

1537
01:12:43,738 --> 01:12:45,271
if I'm holding your hips,

1538
01:12:45,273 --> 01:12:46,970
it's just to get
your pool shot right.

1539
01:12:47,206 --> 01:12:49,372
- You're being professional.
- Just strictly professional.

1540
01:12:49,374 --> 01:12:51,138
You know,
I just care about my job.

1541
01:12:51,140 --> 01:12:53,705
- Okay, come on.
- I'm good at my job.

1542
01:13:42,740 --> 01:13:44,573
- Ah.
- Whoo!

1543
01:13:44,575 --> 01:13:47,205
<i>Oh, okay, okay.
Slow down. Slow... Wait.</i>

1544
01:13:47,606 --> 01:13:50,605
- <i>Slow down, girl. This isn't a rodeo.</i>
- Ah!

1545
01:13:52,141 --> 01:13:54,072
<i>Yeah... Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Easy with the balls!</i>

1546
01:13:54,074 --> 01:13:56,405
<i>Easy with the balls.
They're attached to me.</i>

1547
01:13:57,942 --> 01:14:00,639
<i>Why are her eyes always closed?
Am I that ugly?</i>

1548
01:14:00,874 --> 01:14:02,304
Oh, what the...

1549
01:14:02,875 --> 01:14:05,538
<i>Damn, her eyes opened,
but she look crazy as hell.</i>

1550
01:14:05,540 --> 01:14:06,972
<i>They were better closed.</i>

1551
01:14:06,974 --> 01:14:08,039
<i>Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa...</i>

1552
01:14:08,041 --> 01:14:10,338
<i>God, easy on the balls.</i>

1553
01:14:17,142 --> 01:14:18,607
What's up? You okay?

1554
01:14:20,541 --> 01:14:24,739
Just admit it.
This wasn't going so good.

1555
01:14:24,741 --> 01:14:26,072
What?

1556
01:14:26,074 --> 01:14:28,406
No, it was, it was, it was...

1557
01:14:28,942 --> 01:14:30,173
It was cool.

1558
01:14:31,041 --> 01:14:33,338
Okay, look. How about...

1559
01:14:34,508 --> 01:14:37,173
How about we try something
a little different tonight?

1560
01:14:37,175 --> 01:14:38,306
Uh, like what?

1561
01:14:39,939 --> 01:14:41,703
Like how about we call a truce?

1562
01:14:42,140 --> 01:14:44,605
Nobody is in control.
We'll just...

1563
01:14:45,807 --> 01:14:47,937
you know, we share a little bit.

1564
01:14:48,440 --> 01:14:49,538
Can you share?

1565
01:14:52,173 --> 01:14:54,104
- Yeah.
- Okay, okay...

1566
01:14:54,106 --> 01:14:55,904
Hey... share, share.

1567
01:14:56,506 --> 01:14:57,503
Share.

1568
01:14:59,207 --> 01:15:00,939
- Yeah, that's right.
- Okay.

1569
01:15:29,074 --> 01:15:30,439
How was that?

1570
01:15:32,173 --> 01:15:34,072
It was phenomenal!

1571
01:15:34,941 --> 01:15:36,271
It was like you were in my head.

1572
01:15:36,273 --> 01:15:37,971
You knew everything
that I wanted.

1573
01:15:38,841 --> 01:15:42,105
Girl, I feel like I just ran half a
marathon. I need some electrolytes.

1574
01:15:42,107 --> 01:15:44,006
- You want some electrolytes?
- No...

1575
01:15:44,008 --> 01:15:46,038
I don't smoke or nothin' after sex,
but I'm gonna get me some Gatorade.

1576
01:15:46,040 --> 01:15:47,305
- You want some Gatorade?
- No.

1577
01:15:47,307 --> 01:15:49,572
- I got flavors.
- I am good.

1578
01:15:49,574 --> 01:15:51,838
- Oh, okay. All right.
- I'm straight.

1579
01:15:52,807 --> 01:15:57,672
<i>Ali, bomaye! Ali, bomaye!
Ali, bomaye!</i>

1580
01:15:57,674 --> 01:15:58,805
<i>Shit, yeah.</i>

1581
01:16:00,075 --> 01:16:01,306
<i>She the greatest of all time.
Thank you, Lord Jesus.</i>

1582
01:16:01,308 --> 01:16:03,138
- <i>Ali, bomaye!</i>
- Yes!

1583
01:16:09,741 --> 01:16:11,939
Will and Ben are here.
They're on their way up.

1584
01:16:11,941 --> 01:16:13,172
I want to know something.

1585
01:16:14,175 --> 01:16:15,872
What do you see
in that gin jockey?

1586
01:16:16,442 --> 01:16:18,939
I mean, you're successful,
beautiful,

1587
01:16:19,242 --> 01:16:21,673
and he's a single parent
with no career.

1588
01:16:21,675 --> 01:16:23,372
Did you say "gin jockey"?

1589
01:16:23,775 --> 01:16:25,805
Yes, I said "gin jockey."

1590
01:16:25,807 --> 01:16:27,540
He is a businessman, okay?

1591
01:16:27,542 --> 01:16:29,973
He's saving his money
so he can open his own bar.

1592
01:16:29,975 --> 01:16:32,940
Like your gym.
Look, just please be nice.

1593
01:16:32,942 --> 01:16:35,239
Be nice?
I am nice. I'm nice as shit.

1594
01:16:36,341 --> 01:16:38,606
"Gin jockey"?
Where do you find these things?

1595
01:16:38,608 --> 01:16:41,440
- Come here, Dad. Hey!
- Hey.

1596
01:16:42,941 --> 01:16:45,773
- Dad, I need you to meet Will and Ben.
- Hi.

1597
01:16:45,775 --> 01:16:47,340
- Nice to meet you, sir.
- Welcome, welcome.

1598
01:16:47,677 --> 01:16:49,407
<i>I'll give it three months.</i>

1599
01:16:49,409 --> 01:16:52,039
<i>She'll chew him up
and spit him out.</i>

1600
01:16:53,440 --> 01:16:55,737
Hey, did you introduce yourself?

1601
01:16:56,107 --> 01:16:58,637
Hi, I'm Ben.
It's nice to meet you.

1602
01:16:58,639 --> 01:16:59,805
Wait, wait, wait.

1603
01:16:59,807 --> 01:17:03,471
So, tomorrow.
Big signing day, huh?

1604
01:17:03,473 --> 01:17:04,506
Yep.

1605
01:17:04,508 --> 01:17:05,872
No worries about, you know,

1606
01:17:05,874 --> 01:17:07,273
crazy Joe changing his mind

1607
01:17:07,275 --> 01:17:08,606
or Jamal trying
to stay in school?

1608
01:17:08,841 --> 01:17:10,805
Nah, I have a pretty good gauge
on that situation.

1609
01:17:10,807 --> 01:17:13,905
So I think I know
what's on Jamal's mind.

1610
01:17:13,907 --> 01:17:14,872
I'm sure you do.

1611
01:17:15,474 --> 01:17:17,905
But, you know,
knowing what's on a man's mind

1612
01:17:17,907 --> 01:17:19,739
is not the same
as what's in his heart.

1613
01:17:19,741 --> 01:17:22,238
Well, isn't it the same thing?
To get paid and get laid?

1614
01:17:22,240 --> 01:17:25,206
Wait. You really think
that's what men want?

1615
01:17:25,208 --> 01:17:27,806
- Mm-hmm.
- Wow.

1616
01:17:28,042 --> 01:17:30,138
- That's messed up.
- Well...

1617
01:17:30,140 --> 01:17:32,138
Have you ever
even trusted a man?

1618
01:17:33,007 --> 01:17:34,339
She trusts me.

1619
01:17:34,974 --> 01:17:36,705
Okay. Well, see...

1620
01:17:37,608 --> 01:17:42,272
I think that men and women just want
the same thing at the end of the day.

1621
01:17:42,842 --> 01:17:45,707
They want to be
with somebody they trust.

1622
01:17:46,241 --> 01:17:48,838
To be respected,
appreciated, and...

1623
01:17:49,475 --> 01:17:51,304
and just to feel safe.

1624
01:17:51,608 --> 01:17:54,206
So you believe men and women
want the same thing?

1625
01:17:54,541 --> 01:17:57,406
As a bartender, I've learned
to sit back and listen.

1626
01:17:57,408 --> 01:18:00,240
Eventually, you learn
how people really feel.

1627
01:18:01,008 --> 01:18:02,106
Good to know.

1628
01:18:02,541 --> 01:18:05,140
<i>Wow, she is really beautiful.</i>

1629
01:18:05,507 --> 01:18:07,605
So, now that we know
what men and women want,

1630
01:18:07,943 --> 01:18:10,540
the question is what do boys want?

1631
01:18:10,542 --> 01:18:12,972
Got any gift ideas
for your birthday, Ben?

1632
01:18:12,974 --> 01:18:14,640
My dad works real hard,

1633
01:18:14,642 --> 01:18:17,040
so I try not to make
a big deal out of it.

1634
01:18:17,374 --> 01:18:20,240
It's mostly just
about me and him hanging out.

1635
01:18:20,242 --> 01:18:22,507
Us, too.

1636
01:18:24,308 --> 01:18:26,706
Do you know that Ali grew up
without a mom?

1637
01:18:26,708 --> 01:18:29,073
<i>I think
about that woman every day.</i>

1638
01:18:29,508 --> 01:18:30,773
<i>And it still hurts.</i>

1639
01:18:31,141 --> 01:18:35,307
You know, Ben, I imagine your
dad had to work extra hard

1640
01:18:35,309 --> 01:18:37,208
to raise a kid as kind as you.

1641
01:18:37,210 --> 01:18:38,474
Thank you, Skip.

1642
01:18:39,374 --> 01:18:41,672
I think you can appreciate it
more than most.

1643
01:18:43,876 --> 01:18:45,106
To fatherhood.

1644
01:18:54,243 --> 01:18:55,142
You did it!

1645
01:18:55,477 --> 01:18:57,106
You guys day drinking? I'm in.

1646
01:18:57,108 --> 01:18:58,440
Oh, hey.

1647
01:18:58,442 --> 01:18:59,908
Yeah. Let me just grab
two more glasses.

1648
01:18:59,910 --> 01:19:01,474
I'll be right back.

1649
01:19:01,476 --> 01:19:02,541
Did you figure out
who you're gonna draft,

1650
01:19:02,543 --> 01:19:03,707
Roethlisberger or Brady?

1651
01:19:03,709 --> 01:19:05,540
I think I'm gonna go with Brady,

1652
01:19:05,542 --> 01:19:07,107
but my friend Duncan said
he's gonna get Roethlisberger,

1653
01:19:07,109 --> 01:19:08,872
and we can swap
any time we want.

1654
01:19:08,874 --> 01:19:11,438
<i>God, he's beautiful.
And he loves fantasy football?</i>

1655
01:19:11,440 --> 01:19:13,072
What kind of league is that?

1656
01:19:13,074 --> 01:19:14,971
Do you have to wear
a weird T-shirt or some shit?

1657
01:19:14,973 --> 01:19:17,938
<i>It sounds nice.
And he plays fantasy football?</i>

1658
01:19:18,441 --> 01:19:19,606
<i>He's perfect.</i>

1659
01:19:20,007 --> 01:19:23,338
Hey, you know what?
Why don't you two play together?

1660
01:19:23,975 --> 01:19:26,439
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah, I... I would love that.

1661
01:19:26,441 --> 01:19:27,873
You know, you can't pick...

1662
01:19:27,875 --> 01:19:29,740
<i>Do you take this man</i>

1663
01:19:29,742 --> 01:19:32,173
<i>to be your lawfully
wedded husband?</i>

1664
01:19:32,175 --> 01:19:33,972
<i>He's got it all! Uh!</i>

1665
01:19:33,974 --> 01:19:36,972
Okay, you know what?
I have to get a lot of work done

1666
01:19:36,974 --> 01:19:39,073
before Will comes here
to take me to lunch, so...

1667
01:19:39,075 --> 01:19:40,840
Hey, did you see?
Joe Dolla called a press conference.

1668
01:19:40,842 --> 01:19:41,973
- What?
- <i>That's right.</i>

1669
01:19:41,975 --> 01:19:43,607
<i>I'm telling you,</i>

1670
01:19:43,609 --> 01:19:44,973
<i>when it come to him,
he look just like me.</i>

1671
01:19:44,975 --> 01:19:46,772
<i>This is my son.</i>

1672
01:19:46,774 --> 01:19:49,606
<i>Matter of fact, we gonna withdraw
from the NBA draft right now.</i>

1673
01:19:49,608 --> 01:19:52,574
<i>I'ma take Jamal's gifts
to the great nation of China.</i>

1674
01:19:52,576 --> 01:19:54,574
<i>Ni hao! Holla!</i>

1675
01:19:54,576 --> 01:19:56,106
<i>What about
all that talk of playing</i>

1676
01:19:56,108 --> 01:19:57,573
<i>for your hometown, Jamal?</i>

1677
01:19:57,575 --> 01:19:59,940
<i>What can I say?
You know, situation changed.</i>

1678
01:19:59,942 --> 01:20:02,206
<i>What kind of money
are the Chinese offering?</i>

1679
01:20:02,208 --> 01:20:03,973
<i>Our new concierge agent,</i>

1680
01:20:03,975 --> 01:20:05,907
<i>Ethan Fowler,
he gonna answer that.</i>

1681
01:20:05,909 --> 01:20:07,706
- <i>Money Man! Tell 'em wassup.</i>
- <i>Yep.</i>

1682
01:20:07,708 --> 01:20:09,641
<i>Hey there, ladies and gentlemen.
Ethan Fowler.</i>

1683
01:20:09,643 --> 01:20:12,173
<i>Our good friends in China
are currently offering</i>

1684
01:20:12,175 --> 01:20:14,873
<i>three times
the rookie NBA deal, okay?</i>

1685
01:20:14,875 --> 01:20:17,539
<i>Does this mean you've
signed with Summit Worldwide?</i>

1686
01:20:17,541 --> 01:20:19,306
<i>I'll actually answer
that one. Uh...</i>

1687
01:20:19,308 --> 01:20:20,940
<i>I've currently left Summit</i>

1688
01:20:20,942 --> 01:20:24,173
<i>to focus exclusively all my time
and energy on one client.</i>

1689
01:20:24,175 --> 01:20:26,674
<i>He cut,
he sliced his rates in half.</i>

1690
01:20:26,676 --> 01:20:27,973
- <i>Yeah, I know.</i>
- <i>In half!</i>

1691
01:20:27,975 --> 01:20:29,106
<i>I mean, come on, ten percent...</i>

1692
01:20:29,108 --> 01:20:30,640
<i>that is highway robbery.</i>

1693
01:20:36,976 --> 01:20:38,341
Everybody out.

1694
01:20:39,142 --> 01:20:40,807
Out! Get out!

1695
01:20:41,476 --> 01:20:44,341
Ali. You stay.

1696
01:20:48,242 --> 01:20:51,540
Uh, I'm sure that China deal
is not closed.

1697
01:20:51,542 --> 01:20:53,075
We can still save this.

1698
01:20:55,075 --> 01:20:57,206
We can save this.

1699
01:20:57,544 --> 01:21:00,142
Five-percent commission. Wow.

1700
01:21:00,877 --> 01:21:04,075
Not only did you blow this
signing, you gave Ethan the idea

1701
01:21:04,077 --> 01:21:06,442
that could very well fuck our
business model completely.

1702
01:21:06,444 --> 01:21:08,307
Okay, this is not all my fault.

1703
01:21:08,309 --> 01:21:11,675
I mean, if I didn't think I'd get
crucified by all those MeToo-ers,

1704
01:21:11,677 --> 01:21:13,407
I'd fire your ass today.

1705
01:21:14,177 --> 01:21:17,542
Oh, so you're saying you're not
firing me because I'm a woman.

1706
01:21:18,910 --> 01:21:21,007
No. Not just that.

1707
01:21:22,410 --> 01:21:23,441
Oh.

1708
01:21:24,075 --> 01:21:27,840
So, you're not firing me
because I'm a black woman.

1709
01:21:28,175 --> 01:21:30,205
No. No, no. I didn't say that.

1710
01:21:30,475 --> 01:21:32,473
Because that'd be racist
and sexist.

1711
01:21:32,475 --> 01:21:35,273
Hell, no.
I am not your twofer.

1712
01:21:35,275 --> 01:21:36,873
I dare you to fire me.

1713
01:21:36,875 --> 01:21:39,406
My clients will follow me
out that door.

1714
01:21:39,941 --> 01:21:42,438
You keep on dreaming that dream.

1715
01:21:46,042 --> 01:21:47,807
- Nick, please...
- Nope, not happening.

1716
01:21:47,809 --> 01:21:49,374
- There she goes.
- Hey.

1717
01:21:49,376 --> 01:21:50,707
- Hey, girl, ready for lunch?
- Yeah.

1718
01:21:50,709 --> 01:21:52,340
I can wait downstairs
if that's better.

1719
01:21:52,342 --> 01:21:54,339
- Okay.
- Oh, great. You know what?

1720
01:21:54,910 --> 01:21:57,340
You can stop pretending.
Okay, Will?

1721
01:21:57,342 --> 01:21:58,607
If that's even your name.

1722
01:21:58,909 --> 01:22:02,441
Actually, I'm glad this
charade can finally end.

1723
01:22:02,443 --> 01:22:04,941
Sorry, "charade"?
What's he talking about?

1724
01:22:04,943 --> 01:22:06,373
- Nick, please, don't...
- You two.

1725
01:22:06,876 --> 01:22:08,473
Pretending that
y'all are married

1726
01:22:08,776 --> 01:22:11,241
to impress that fucking fraud
Joe Dolla!

1727
01:22:11,742 --> 01:22:14,708
Well, you know what?
It didn't work.

1728
01:22:15,509 --> 01:22:17,372
Mr. Family Man, huh?

1729
01:22:19,709 --> 01:22:22,273
Okay, whoo.
This is a big misunderstanding.

1730
01:22:22,275 --> 01:22:23,273
So wait, wait, hold up.

1731
01:22:24,243 --> 01:22:26,840
That's why you really
invited us to the game?

1732
01:22:27,710 --> 01:22:29,908
- No.
- Not to make up for the fact

1733
01:22:29,910 --> 01:22:34,175
that you accused me of cheating
on my dead wife with you?

1734
01:22:34,177 --> 01:22:35,173
No.

1735
01:22:35,476 --> 01:22:37,308
Please, it is very complicated.

1736
01:22:37,310 --> 01:22:40,373
- Just let me talk to you alone.
- About... About what?

1737
01:22:40,610 --> 01:22:44,908
About what? How you used my son,
my child, as a prop?

1738
01:22:51,044 --> 01:22:51,973
Just...

1739
01:22:52,410 --> 01:22:54,041
- Please.
- Please stay away from us.

1740
01:22:55,143 --> 01:22:56,074
Please.

1741
01:23:15,744 --> 01:23:18,208
These powers
have ruined my life.

1742
01:23:18,778 --> 01:23:20,542
I would like to return them.

1743
01:23:20,978 --> 01:23:23,141
Or whatever you do with powers.

1744
01:23:23,344 --> 01:23:24,742
Well, if I can be real,

1745
01:23:25,278 --> 01:23:28,343
I finished off the Haitian tea,
drunk it all myself.

1746
01:23:28,710 --> 01:23:30,677
- And...
- The only voices I heard

1747
01:23:30,679 --> 01:23:33,710
were Joan Rivers and Tupac.

1748
01:23:34,445 --> 01:23:36,307
And they did not get along.

1749
01:23:36,910 --> 01:23:40,474
My God, this is a disaster.

1750
01:23:41,409 --> 01:23:45,073
Mm.
Maybe you looking at it the wrong way.

1751
01:23:46,675 --> 01:23:50,139
With power comes a
responsibility to tell the truth.

1752
01:23:50,808 --> 01:23:52,739
Have you been telling the truth?

1753
01:23:53,842 --> 01:23:55,739
You need to let
the spirit guide you.

1754
01:24:08,777 --> 01:24:10,840
- The spirit.
- Yeah.

1755
01:24:18,543 --> 01:24:19,974
Spirit.

1756
01:24:27,544 --> 01:24:31,042
Yikes. Hey, maybe we, uh,
take it easy on the drinky-drink there.

1757
01:24:31,044 --> 01:24:33,041
Ceremony's about to start
and you're in it, okay?

1758
01:24:33,043 --> 01:24:35,274
No, no, no.
I need a cranberry vodka

1759
01:24:35,276 --> 01:24:37,607
because I'm feeling the spirit,
Brandon.

1760
01:24:37,609 --> 01:24:40,107
- Uh-huh.
- I have words, they need saying.

1761
01:24:40,545 --> 01:24:43,975
As a matter of fact,
everybody in here

1762
01:24:43,977 --> 01:24:47,008
needs a big, steaming mug
of hot tea.

1763
01:24:47,010 --> 01:24:50,007
Oh, or maybe everybody just
sticks with water, you know...

1764
01:24:50,009 --> 01:24:52,876
No. No, no, no. How about you go get
that vodka cran like I said, baby.

1765
01:24:52,878 --> 01:24:55,108
- Uh-huh.
- Trusty assistant. Go.

1766
01:24:55,444 --> 01:24:56,475
Hm.

1767
01:24:56,477 --> 01:24:57,942
And Christ said,

1768
01:24:57,944 --> 01:24:59,608
"A man shall leave
his mother and father

1769
01:24:59,610 --> 01:25:01,375
and cleave to his wife,

1770
01:25:02,110 --> 01:25:04,008
so that they are
no more twain..."

1771
01:25:04,010 --> 01:25:06,908
<i>Check out that tasty
Oreo bridesmaid sandwich.</i>

1772
01:25:06,910 --> 01:25:09,309
<i>I can't believe how long
this Viagra's lasting!</i>

1773
01:25:09,311 --> 01:25:11,541
<i>Can't believe I'm
missing the game for this shit.</i>

1774
01:25:11,543 --> 01:25:12,808
<i>Did I leave my keys on my desk?</i>

1775
01:25:12,810 --> 01:25:14,442
<i>♪ Cotton-eyed Joe ♪</i>

1776
01:25:14,444 --> 01:25:16,442
<i>♪ I'd been married
A long time ago ♪</i>

1777
01:25:16,444 --> 01:25:18,242
<i>♪ Where did you come from?
Where did you go? ♪</i>

1778
01:25:18,244 --> 01:25:20,275
<i>Oh, man. This suit's
giving me a swamp ass.</i>

1779
01:25:20,277 --> 01:25:22,442
<i>I love the word
"Toledo." To-le-do.</i>

1780
01:25:22,444 --> 01:25:24,210
<i>Can't believe I said "I
love you" to the delivery guy.</i>

1781
01:25:24,212 --> 01:25:26,109
<i>Look at Gabby's tits
just hanging out.</i>

1782
01:25:26,111 --> 01:25:28,376
<i>Haven't tapped that
since Mari was in Boston.</i>

1783
01:25:28,378 --> 01:25:30,210
<i>Might need to get that again
soon though.</i>

1784
01:25:30,212 --> 01:25:31,641
Ladies and gentlemen,
the bride and groom

1785
01:25:31,643 --> 01:25:33,274
have written their own vows.

1786
01:25:33,276 --> 01:25:34,675
- James?
- Yes, sir.

1787
01:25:35,412 --> 01:25:38,075
When I met you on that
sun-dappled June afternoon

1788
01:25:38,077 --> 01:25:39,808
- at the Waffle House...
- He said, "dappled".

1789
01:25:39,810 --> 01:25:41,610
...and you put
that whole bottle of hot sauce

1790
01:25:41,612 --> 01:25:42,642
on your two-piece...

1791
01:25:43,812 --> 01:25:45,642
I knew right then there'd
never be another woman for me.

1792
01:25:45,644 --> 01:25:47,643
Oh, God.
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.

1793
01:25:47,645 --> 01:25:50,675
- I'm so, so sorry.
- What the hell?

1794
01:25:50,677 --> 01:25:53,241
I... have something I gotta say.

1795
01:25:53,243 --> 01:25:54,608
What are you doing?

1796
01:25:54,610 --> 01:25:57,674
Girl, I am letting the spirit
move me.

1797
01:25:57,944 --> 01:25:58,841
Huh?

1798
01:26:00,577 --> 01:26:01,941
I...

1799
01:26:03,343 --> 01:26:04,906
I've been given a gift.

1800
01:26:05,309 --> 01:26:06,740
Possibly by God.

1801
01:26:06,742 --> 01:26:08,841
Possibly by a low-rent,

1802
01:26:08,843 --> 01:26:11,274
hair-styling,
weed-dealing psychic. But...

1803
01:26:11,976 --> 01:26:14,440
I can hear men's thoughts.

1804
01:26:15,877 --> 01:26:17,607
Ali, why don't you just come

1805
01:26:17,609 --> 01:26:18,974
sit down here with me
for a minute?

1806
01:26:18,976 --> 01:26:20,274
Uh, Brandon, back up.

1807
01:26:20,677 --> 01:26:21,573
Back up.

1808
01:26:21,875 --> 01:26:23,476
I'm just saying,
as your friend...

1809
01:26:23,478 --> 01:26:26,074
You... are not my friend.

1810
01:26:26,076 --> 01:26:28,541
You are my assistant, though.

1811
01:26:28,843 --> 01:26:30,707
And right now
you're not assisting me,

1812
01:26:30,709 --> 01:26:33,410
you're interrupting my message!

1813
01:26:33,412 --> 01:26:36,275
So I need you to sit down
and shut the fuck up!

1814
01:26:37,610 --> 01:26:38,741
Hallelujah.

1815
01:26:41,344 --> 01:26:42,575
You're on your own.

1816
01:26:43,376 --> 01:26:44,374
Excuse me.

1817
01:26:44,376 --> 01:26:45,441
Thank... Thank you.

1818
01:26:45,945 --> 01:26:47,908
- Thank you for sharing that with us.
- And...

1819
01:26:48,878 --> 01:26:50,476
because of my gift,

1820
01:26:51,044 --> 01:26:54,942
James, I know you are not worthy
of my friend, Mari.

1821
01:26:54,944 --> 01:26:56,409
What are you talking about?

1822
01:26:56,411 --> 01:26:58,477
And you need to know,
before you jump the broom,

1823
01:26:58,479 --> 01:27:01,441
that he slept with your
cousin Gabby last May.

1824
01:27:02,744 --> 01:27:04,708
- What?
- While you were in Boston, girl.

1825
01:27:04,710 --> 01:27:07,210
That... That never happened.
That never, never happened.

1826
01:27:07,212 --> 01:27:10,175
I am so sorry, Mari.
He said you were on a break.

1827
01:27:12,578 --> 01:27:13,875
Is this true?

1828
01:27:14,377 --> 01:27:15,542
Everybody lying right now.

1829
01:27:16,011 --> 01:27:19,575
- Mari!
- Whoo! He deserved that! Amen!

1830
01:27:19,844 --> 01:27:21,610
- Bring it over here.
- Oh! Baby, hold on.

1831
01:27:21,612 --> 01:27:24,510
Ali, cut it out.
This is not the time or the place.

1832
01:27:24,512 --> 01:27:28,809
Well, Ciarra, you have problems
in your own house.

1833
01:27:28,811 --> 01:27:31,575
Don't throw no stones,
living in a glass house.

1834
01:27:31,877 --> 01:27:35,709
Excuse me? My house is fine.
In fact, it's locked down.

1835
01:27:35,711 --> 01:27:38,709
Okay? I think
you're just a little jealous

1836
01:27:38,711 --> 01:27:40,577
because we're all married.

1837
01:27:40,579 --> 01:27:42,177
I have always felt that way.

1838
01:27:42,179 --> 01:27:45,244
- Are you ser... Really?
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.

1839
01:27:45,911 --> 01:27:47,610
So look at yourself.

1840
01:27:47,612 --> 01:27:50,343
Well, your husband has been
getting his thing sucked,

1841
01:27:50,578 --> 01:27:53,610
on the down-low, by his golf buddy Louis.

1842
01:27:53,612 --> 01:27:55,210
I have always felt that way.

1843
01:27:55,212 --> 01:27:56,809
- He what?
- You've lost your mind.

1844
01:27:56,811 --> 01:27:58,143
I would never.
That's disgusting!

1845
01:27:58,478 --> 01:28:01,110
It wasn't when you were
sucking on my dick!

1846
01:28:01,112 --> 01:28:02,976
Oh, Lord, not in the church!

1847
01:28:02,978 --> 01:28:04,444
Hallelujah! A testimony!

1848
01:28:04,446 --> 01:28:06,710
You kissed me
with dick on your lips?

1849
01:28:06,712 --> 01:28:07,910
- Oh, hell, no!
- Whoo!

1850
01:28:13,978 --> 01:28:15,840
That's my brother.
Hold Terence.

1851
01:28:16,310 --> 01:28:17,174
Oh, no!

1852
01:28:18,478 --> 01:28:20,208
- Oh, yeah!
- Everyone...

1853
01:28:20,210 --> 01:28:21,609
Don't you take that! Don't you...

1854
01:28:21,611 --> 01:28:22,809
Oh, yeah!

1855
01:28:22,811 --> 01:28:24,408
- Oh, really?
- My hair!

1856
01:28:28,810 --> 01:28:31,307
- Eat it! Eat the wig!
- Just grow up.

1857
01:28:33,077 --> 01:28:34,374
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

1858
01:28:34,376 --> 01:28:35,274
Bitch!

1859
01:28:37,344 --> 01:28:38,408
Stay back!

1860
01:28:41,210 --> 01:28:42,342
Oh, oh.

1861
01:28:46,078 --> 01:28:49,043
Well, hello. Welcome back.

1862
01:28:51,045 --> 01:28:52,208
I'd just like to say...

1863
01:28:53,078 --> 01:28:56,043
since your last visit,
I went to detox

1864
01:28:56,045 --> 01:28:57,974
and I got my life back on track.

1865
01:28:58,277 --> 01:28:59,409
So, thank you.

1866
01:29:04,445 --> 01:29:05,343
That's it?

1867
01:29:06,078 --> 01:29:07,275
That's what?

1868
01:29:09,078 --> 01:29:10,410
I don't hear anything.

1869
01:29:11,545 --> 01:29:12,609
No sound?

1870
01:29:13,077 --> 01:29:15,808
- No sound?
- No, no, no, I hear that. I just...

1871
01:29:17,379 --> 01:29:19,544
I... I don't hear
your inner thoughts.

1872
01:29:20,145 --> 01:29:22,142
That's a good thing, trust me.

1873
01:29:24,910 --> 01:29:27,277
Okay, so, um, great,
I guess I can go.

1874
01:29:27,279 --> 01:29:29,676
- Ah, well...
- Where my peeps at?

1875
01:29:30,212 --> 01:29:32,076
Ali, you can leave anytime,

1876
01:29:32,078 --> 01:29:34,843
but, um,
there's no one here for you.

1877
01:29:37,178 --> 01:29:38,376
Oh.

1878
01:29:42,279 --> 01:29:44,144
Guess I'll get myself home.

1879
01:29:58,479 --> 01:30:00,310
- <i>So let's just stay in...</i>
- <i>You hear me?</i>

1880
01:30:00,312 --> 01:30:02,243
- <i>...your lane.</i>
- <i>You got you.</i>

1881
01:30:02,245 --> 01:30:05,310
<i>About what, how you used
my son, my child, as a prop?</i>

1882
01:30:05,312 --> 01:30:07,144
<i>We share a little bit.
Can you share?</i>

1883
01:30:07,146 --> 01:30:08,943
<i>I believe
you are a good person.</i>

1884
01:30:08,945 --> 01:30:10,643
<i>It's not like you have
a lot of friends here.</i>

1885
01:30:10,645 --> 01:30:12,276
<i>Work hard,
play hard, right?</i>

1886
01:30:12,513 --> 01:30:13,977
<i>Constantly
throwing the first punch,</i>

1887
01:30:13,979 --> 01:30:15,578
<i>and you got you and no one else.</i>

1888
01:30:15,580 --> 01:30:17,809
<i>That bartender
get back to you yet?</i>

1889
01:30:19,781 --> 01:30:21,145
No.

1890
01:30:22,012 --> 01:30:25,244
And I don't blame him,
the shit I pulled.

1891
01:30:26,743 --> 01:30:29,342
I just wanted to win, you know?

1892
01:30:30,711 --> 01:30:32,442
I let it get away from me.

1893
01:30:33,011 --> 01:30:36,343
No, no, no. That's on me.

1894
01:30:38,643 --> 01:30:42,509
When your mom took off,
I didn't trust anyone.

1895
01:30:43,778 --> 01:30:47,207
And... I put that all on you.

1896
01:30:48,944 --> 01:30:50,442
I'm sorry if I...

1897
01:30:51,344 --> 01:30:53,209
taught you some wrong lessons.

1898
01:30:53,211 --> 01:30:57,509
I wanted you to toughen up,
because I was so scared.

1899
01:30:59,044 --> 01:31:01,174
I didn't want you
to be scared, too.

1900
01:31:01,945 --> 01:31:03,076
Dad...

1901
01:31:03,612 --> 01:31:05,276
you did an amazing job.

1902
01:31:05,910 --> 01:31:08,208
An excellent job.

1903
01:31:09,679 --> 01:31:12,778
No. This is all on me, okay?

1904
01:31:13,144 --> 01:31:14,841
I messed everything up.

1905
01:31:15,146 --> 01:31:18,110
And now I got to put my
big-girl drawers on and fix it.

1906
01:31:21,480 --> 01:31:25,276
You know, there's things
that we probably need to learn.

1907
01:31:25,712 --> 01:31:27,876
When to lower our fist.

1908
01:31:28,179 --> 01:31:30,777
There's so many
beautiful things that...

1909
01:31:31,478 --> 01:31:34,276
we don't see
because our hands are...

1910
01:31:35,045 --> 01:31:37,076
in front of our face.

1911
01:31:43,012 --> 01:31:44,209
Thanks, Dad.

1912
01:31:46,613 --> 01:31:49,411
You're the best.

1913
01:31:53,880 --> 01:31:56,610
You know, I don't really need
to check with Ali on that one.

1914
01:31:56,612 --> 01:32:00,244
Serena Williams is not gonna do
local TV ads for a mattress store.

1915
01:32:00,246 --> 01:32:02,377
But thank you
for your interests.

1916
01:32:04,614 --> 01:32:05,610
You're here.

1917
01:32:06,713 --> 01:32:08,844
Yeah. Danny said it would
be better to look for work

1918
01:32:08,846 --> 01:32:10,043
while I still have a job.

1919
01:32:10,045 --> 01:32:11,477
So, I'm looking for work.

1920
01:32:11,479 --> 01:32:13,411
Which I'm sure
you already heard.

1921
01:32:13,413 --> 01:32:16,010
I don't have the power
anymore.

1922
01:32:16,713 --> 01:32:18,610
I can't hear men's voices.

1923
01:32:21,079 --> 01:32:24,077
So, I just told you all of that
for no reason.

1924
01:32:24,614 --> 01:32:27,112
Wow, I just cannot win.

1925
01:32:27,479 --> 01:32:30,411
Hey! Still the best part
of my day.

1926
01:32:36,246 --> 01:32:37,612
Wait, are you two...

1927
01:32:37,614 --> 01:32:39,176
Playing
fantasy football together?

1928
01:32:39,178 --> 01:32:40,275
Yes, we are.

1929
01:32:41,878 --> 01:32:44,276
That's great.

1930
01:32:47,511 --> 01:32:49,674
Can I talk to you
in my office?

1931
01:32:51,446 --> 01:32:52,510
Please?

1932
01:32:53,145 --> 01:32:54,642
Have a seat.

1933
01:32:58,678 --> 01:33:00,209
Listen, Brandon.

1934
01:33:00,912 --> 01:33:02,509
I'm sorry about that bullshit

1935
01:33:02,511 --> 01:33:05,777
about you not being cut out
to be an agent.

1936
01:33:06,711 --> 01:33:09,244
I would've told you anything
to keep you on my desk,

1937
01:33:09,246 --> 01:33:10,676
because I needed you.

1938
01:33:13,545 --> 01:33:16,310
And you're a better friend
than I deserve.

1939
01:33:21,078 --> 01:33:22,978
You... That's...
You're apologizing.

1940
01:33:22,980 --> 01:33:24,177
Yes.

1941
01:33:24,845 --> 01:33:26,510
- To me.
- Mm-hmm.

1942
01:33:26,979 --> 01:33:28,077
Wow.

1943
01:33:28,947 --> 01:33:30,511
I did not see that coming.

1944
01:33:31,479 --> 01:33:35,145
It's not a promotion or a raise,
but it is definitely something.

1945
01:33:35,147 --> 01:33:37,511
Okay, well,
you get a raise effective today.

1946
01:33:37,878 --> 01:33:40,845
And will until you find
something better.

1947
01:33:40,847 --> 01:33:42,810
And a promotion, TBD.

1948
01:33:43,746 --> 01:33:46,277
I don't even know
if I still work here.

1949
01:33:46,712 --> 01:33:47,777
Have you heard anything?

1950
01:33:50,745 --> 01:33:52,210
Well, thank you.

1951
01:33:57,379 --> 01:34:01,377
Oh, God, I just wish
I had gotten out of my own head

1952
01:34:02,047 --> 01:34:06,412
and gotten to know Jamal
instead of try to sell him.

1953
01:34:06,913 --> 01:34:09,577
I just wish I'd listened to him.

1954
01:34:29,946 --> 01:34:33,178
All right, you have got to
be psychic or something.

1955
01:34:33,913 --> 01:34:35,077
What you got over there?

1956
01:34:35,079 --> 01:34:37,046
Um, just a little Chinese food

1957
01:34:37,048 --> 01:34:38,811
to celebrate your success.

1958
01:34:39,747 --> 01:34:41,845
Well, I guess I'll be
eating a lot of it then.

1959
01:34:41,847 --> 01:34:43,110
You happy?

1960
01:34:44,747 --> 01:34:45,779
What do you think?

1961
01:34:49,014 --> 01:34:50,312
Let me see that.

1962
01:34:52,147 --> 01:34:53,412
I don't know.

1963
01:34:53,414 --> 01:34:55,377
I'm not even gonna pretend
to know.

1964
01:34:57,613 --> 01:34:59,678
- Whoo-hoo!
- Okay. Look at you.

1965
01:34:59,680 --> 01:35:02,744
What can I say?
My dad wanted a boy.

1966
01:35:02,746 --> 01:35:05,277
Yeah, well, you don't even
have to tell me about dads.

1967
01:35:05,511 --> 01:35:07,442
You know, mine is, uh, unique.

1968
01:35:07,746 --> 01:35:09,110
That is very true.

1969
01:35:15,847 --> 01:35:18,310
Dad took me out to this court
when I was five.

1970
01:35:19,378 --> 01:35:23,309
And he would not let me leave
until I sank three in a row.

1971
01:35:23,813 --> 01:35:24,911
And it got us here.

1972
01:35:25,314 --> 01:35:26,511
I know it sounds corny,

1973
01:35:26,513 --> 01:35:28,177
but I want to win
a championship

1974
01:35:28,179 --> 01:35:29,711
and celebrate here.

1975
01:35:30,279 --> 01:35:31,878
With the people I grew up with.

1976
01:35:32,980 --> 01:35:33,979
That's my dream.

1977
01:35:33,981 --> 01:35:35,245
I get it.

1978
01:35:39,012 --> 01:35:40,278
Give me that.

1979
01:35:41,480 --> 01:35:43,410
You're gonna have a lot
of people coming at you

1980
01:35:43,412 --> 01:35:45,579
with all sorts of advice
from here on out.

1981
01:35:45,581 --> 01:35:47,178
- You know that, right?
- Right.

1982
01:35:47,180 --> 01:35:48,778
But you're the one
I should listen to, right?

1983
01:35:50,947 --> 01:35:53,944
No. The only person
you should listen to is you.

1984
01:35:55,012 --> 01:35:58,244
Because you're the only person
who knows what you really want.

1985
01:35:58,881 --> 01:36:01,812
Forget your head.
What's in your heart?

1986
01:36:07,112 --> 01:36:09,445
Just fuck him. I'm done.

1987
01:36:09,913 --> 01:36:13,711
I always sensed that he was
a skeezy motherfucker.

1988
01:36:13,713 --> 01:36:15,411
But you know what?
I was on that marriage train

1989
01:36:15,413 --> 01:36:16,845
and I didn't want to get off.

1990
01:36:16,847 --> 01:36:18,277
Just fucking stupid.

1991
01:36:18,279 --> 01:36:21,245
When that woman
leaped onto the stage

1992
01:36:21,247 --> 01:36:22,943
and ripped out your hair...

1993
01:36:23,746 --> 01:36:26,046
I almost put down my phone
and said something.

1994
01:36:26,048 --> 01:36:29,512
- How is that helping us?
- Not... Oh, twelve o'clock.

1995
01:36:30,013 --> 01:36:31,180
Hi.

1996
01:36:31,182 --> 01:36:34,745
- No. No.
- No. No. No.

1997
01:36:35,080 --> 01:36:36,946
Nope, nope, nope, nope.

1998
01:36:36,948 --> 01:36:38,845
Let them grieve.

1999
01:36:39,914 --> 01:36:44,213
You know, by the grace of God,
my marriage is still intact.

2000
01:36:44,215 --> 01:36:45,878
It was stronger than theirs
to begin with.

2001
01:36:45,880 --> 01:36:48,680
But it is still intact,
because my husband wasn't there.

2002
01:36:48,682 --> 01:36:50,345
- What the fuck?
- All right?

2003
01:36:50,347 --> 01:36:52,046
But I am devastated
for the two of them.

2004
01:36:52,048 --> 01:36:53,379
Devastated.

2005
01:36:53,381 --> 01:36:55,678
- You ruined their lives!
- Um, look, I'm...

2006
01:36:57,613 --> 01:37:00,179
I know you guys probably hate me
for what I pulled.

2007
01:37:00,181 --> 01:37:02,645
I am so sorry, okay?

2008
01:37:03,014 --> 01:37:05,112
I really want
to make it up to you.

2009
01:37:05,615 --> 01:37:08,780
Look, I did what I did
because I love you, okay?

2010
01:37:09,280 --> 01:37:10,977
Not because I'm jealous.

2011
01:37:10,979 --> 01:37:12,577
I want what's best
for all of you,

2012
01:37:12,579 --> 01:37:14,679
and I'm not gonna let you
marry a skeezer

2013
01:37:14,681 --> 01:37:16,245
and I'm not gonna stand by
and not tell you

2014
01:37:16,247 --> 01:37:17,710
about your down-low husband.

2015
01:37:17,712 --> 01:37:19,678
I'm sorry.
I'm a friend, not an enabler.

2016
01:37:19,680 --> 01:37:23,145
That was some freaky-ass shit
you pulled.

2017
01:37:23,147 --> 01:37:25,143
You could hear men's thoughts.

2018
01:37:25,612 --> 01:37:27,544
And you didn't tell us,
your girls?

2019
01:37:27,546 --> 01:37:29,778
- Yeah, what the fuck?
- We should've been the first to know.

2020
01:37:29,780 --> 01:37:31,412
We could've helped you out!

2021
01:37:31,414 --> 01:37:32,878
- That's good information.
- Look...

2022
01:37:33,346 --> 01:37:35,277
I know I've been
a shitty friend.

2023
01:37:35,279 --> 01:37:36,578
- Mm-hmm.
- Yes.

2024
01:37:36,580 --> 01:37:37,945
- Very shitty.
- Terrible.

2025
01:37:37,947 --> 01:37:39,245
Very shitty friend.

2026
01:37:39,247 --> 01:37:41,110
And that is Jesus
speaking through me.

2027
01:37:41,112 --> 01:37:43,645
I mean, like skid-mark-in-the-drawers
shitty-ass friend.

2028
01:37:43,647 --> 01:37:46,912
I'm about to write poetry about
it, just to express my rage.

2029
01:37:46,914 --> 01:37:49,212
- Well, that's a good thing.
- Boo-Boo Shitty Kitty.

2030
01:37:49,214 --> 01:37:51,578
- Shit on top of shit.
- One star on Yelp.

2031
01:37:51,580 --> 01:37:53,979
- Shitty Shitty Bang Bang Ali.
- "Knock, knock."

2032
01:37:53,981 --> 01:37:55,378
- "Who's there?" "Ali, and I'm shitty."
- The shitty friend.

2033
01:37:55,380 --> 01:37:56,711
Yeah, the shitty friend.

2034
01:37:56,713 --> 01:37:58,643
Okay.
All right, I deserve that.

2035
01:37:58,880 --> 01:38:00,512
I deserve it all.

2036
01:38:01,013 --> 01:38:03,544
But I want to make that up
to you too, okay?

2037
01:38:03,546 --> 01:38:07,878
I promise
to prioritize my life better.

2038
01:38:08,079 --> 01:38:11,644
You mean more to me,
and I should treat you as such.

2039
01:38:11,646 --> 01:38:15,512
Because I really do love you
and I need you in my life, okay?

2040
01:38:21,680 --> 01:38:25,411
All right.
Margarita Mondays on me. Shit.

2041
01:38:28,147 --> 01:38:29,278
Forever?

2042
01:38:30,981 --> 01:38:32,278
Mm-hmm.

2043
01:38:32,280 --> 01:38:34,045
- I'm about to get fired.
- I don't care.

2044
01:38:34,047 --> 01:38:36,313
I say if she wants
to pay for Margarita Mondays,

2045
01:38:36,315 --> 01:38:37,812
let's let her do it.

2046
01:38:37,814 --> 01:38:39,512
That's my cheat day
and you're gonna pay.

2047
01:38:39,514 --> 01:38:40,879
- Okay.
- You will pay.

2048
01:38:40,881 --> 01:38:42,512
- Thank you.
- Okay, let's toast.

2049
01:38:42,514 --> 01:38:44,247
- We need to make a toast.
- Give it to her!

2050
01:38:44,249 --> 01:38:45,879
We need to make a toast, come on.

2051
01:38:45,881 --> 01:38:47,378
We'll toast, we'll toast.
We'll get some more.

2052
01:38:47,380 --> 01:38:50,280
To my three best friends.

2053
01:38:50,615 --> 01:38:51,812
- Yes!
- Cheers!

2054
01:38:56,282 --> 01:38:59,379
<i>This is the 2018 NBA Draft,</i>

2055
01:38:59,381 --> 01:39:03,746
<i>and commissioner Adam Silver is
about to step to the microphone.</i>

2056
01:39:09,281 --> 01:39:12,047
Good evening,
and welcome to the NBA Draft.

2057
01:39:12,482 --> 01:39:16,346
These young men here tonight
represent the future of our sport.

2058
01:39:16,783 --> 01:39:20,513
With the first pick
in the 2018 NBA Draft,

2059
01:39:20,515 --> 01:39:22,045
the Atlanta Hawks select...

2060
01:39:23,049 --> 01:39:27,013
Jamal Barry from Georgia Tech.

2061
01:39:29,213 --> 01:39:32,110
- Thanks for making this happen.
- So proud of you.

2062
01:39:54,447 --> 01:39:56,045
Hey, hey, there she is!

2063
01:39:56,313 --> 01:39:58,579
The worst thing to happen
to US-China relations

2064
01:39:58,581 --> 01:40:01,311
since Richard Nixon
shot and ate a panda.

2065
01:40:02,781 --> 01:40:06,512
Joe, I really want you
on my team, okay?

2066
01:40:07,214 --> 01:40:08,813
How about we work together

2067
01:40:08,815 --> 01:40:12,546
to make sure Jamal
has an amazing career.

2068
01:40:12,548 --> 01:40:13,746
How about that?

2069
01:40:15,948 --> 01:40:18,012
- I like you.
- Thanks.

2070
01:40:18,014 --> 01:40:21,613
- See Jamal? That's my dude.
- Mm-hmm.

2071
01:40:21,615 --> 01:40:23,044
And you know dudes.

2072
01:40:24,647 --> 01:40:27,479
Well, that's the first time
I've heard that.

2073
01:40:31,581 --> 01:40:34,045
<i>Well, first order of business.</i>

2074
01:40:34,515 --> 01:40:38,045
I guess we can all see that
Ethan has rejoined the team.

2075
01:40:38,380 --> 01:40:41,213
And we have dropped our lawsuit
accordingly.

2076
01:40:41,215 --> 01:40:43,314
Listen, guys,
that unfortunate China incident

2077
01:40:43,316 --> 01:40:47,547
was brought on, if you can believe
it, by clear braces. Uh...

2078
01:40:48,083 --> 01:40:52,613
Excessive salivation led to
dehydration, exhaustion, and stress.

2079
01:40:52,615 --> 01:40:54,580
- You know.
- But I'm great now.

2080
01:40:54,582 --> 01:40:55,981
Happy to be back.

2081
01:40:55,983 --> 01:40:57,712
Ethan's no longer a partner.

2082
01:40:57,714 --> 01:41:00,212
And he'll be subject
to a yearly probationary review.

2083
01:41:01,483 --> 01:41:02,846
Now, with that being said,

2084
01:41:03,115 --> 01:41:06,446
seems like we have
a partner slot that has opened.

2085
01:41:07,415 --> 01:41:09,846
Or shall I say... "had."

2086
01:41:12,483 --> 01:41:15,046
I think we all know
what this is.

2087
01:41:15,581 --> 01:41:18,379
And I think we all know
who deserves it.

2088
01:41:19,148 --> 01:41:21,045
Let's give it up
for our newest partner:

2089
01:41:21,416 --> 01:41:22,780
Ali Davis.

2090
01:41:42,614 --> 01:41:45,177
Wow. Thanks. Thanks.

2091
01:41:45,646 --> 01:41:47,577
Thanks so much, Nick.

2092
01:41:50,547 --> 01:41:53,013
For so many years,
all I ever wanted

2093
01:41:53,015 --> 01:41:56,347
was to be a part
of this boys club.

2094
01:41:56,682 --> 01:41:58,045
It's all I ever wanted.

2095
01:42:03,748 --> 01:42:05,147
And...

2096
01:42:07,280 --> 01:42:11,247
I don't want to be
a part of your club anymore.

2097
01:42:13,581 --> 01:42:17,145
No, from now on, my self-worth

2098
01:42:17,781 --> 01:42:21,245
is not going to come
from a man's approval.

2099
01:42:23,915 --> 01:42:24,912
No.

2100
01:42:26,414 --> 01:42:29,013
I am going to compete and win

2101
01:42:29,015 --> 01:42:31,646
on my own terms, not yours.

2102
01:42:32,049 --> 01:42:35,646
So, I'm opening my own agency.

2103
01:42:37,915 --> 01:42:39,514
I'm sorry,
what's happening here?

2104
01:42:39,516 --> 01:42:41,380
Oh, calm down, Nick.
Have a Fiji.

2105
01:42:41,382 --> 01:42:43,581
I will come after
your clients hard!

2106
01:42:43,583 --> 01:42:44,947
Calm your nuts!

2107
01:42:44,949 --> 01:42:47,280
Look, you do very well
in your lane, Nick.

2108
01:42:47,282 --> 01:42:48,613
So, stay in it.

2109
01:42:48,615 --> 01:42:52,246
Oh, and, uh,
my partner is going to be...

2110
01:42:52,248 --> 01:42:53,147
Uh!

2111
01:42:54,849 --> 01:42:58,013
What? Wait, bro. No way!

2112
01:42:58,683 --> 01:43:00,012
I'm with her.

2113
01:43:00,014 --> 01:43:02,881
Okay, so on that note,
we're out.

2114
01:43:02,883 --> 01:43:05,981
Um, and we would like
to wish you the best

2115
01:43:05,983 --> 01:43:07,849
in all of your future endeavors,

2116
01:43:07,851 --> 01:43:09,381
i.e., go fuck yourself.

2117
01:43:09,649 --> 01:43:11,514
And kiss my black ass.

2118
01:43:11,516 --> 01:43:12,580
Let's go.

2119
01:43:12,582 --> 01:43:13,679
Hey, Nick.

2120
01:43:16,116 --> 01:43:17,948
Oh, there's one more box
at the front desk.

2121
01:43:17,950 --> 01:43:19,281
I'm gonna go grab it.

2122
01:43:19,784 --> 01:43:20,915
Okay.

2123
01:43:23,049 --> 01:43:25,913
The two of you are so cute
together, it's sickening.

2124
01:43:26,617 --> 01:43:28,613
Well, it's all thanks to you.

2125
01:43:28,615 --> 01:43:31,647
And I guess a little bit thanks
to that weird Sister lady.

2126
01:43:31,916 --> 01:43:34,480
Okay. Uh, so, all I need to
know now is where you'd like me

2127
01:43:34,482 --> 01:43:36,715
to make a reservation
for you and the other agents

2128
01:43:36,717 --> 01:43:37,815
to celebrate the new firm.

2129
01:43:37,817 --> 01:43:39,281
I took care of that.

2130
01:43:39,283 --> 01:43:40,948
I made reservations
for three at Pricci at 8:00.

2131
01:43:40,950 --> 01:43:42,914
- You made a reservation?
- Mm-hmm.

2132
01:43:42,916 --> 01:43:45,047
So, you, Kevin,
who's the third?

2133
01:43:45,417 --> 01:43:46,415
Oh, um...

2134
01:43:46,417 --> 01:43:47,614
Our new agent.

2135
01:43:47,983 --> 01:43:49,913
Um, you actually know this guy.

2136
01:43:50,117 --> 01:43:52,848
He's cute, he's short,
about your height, wears your glasses.

2137
01:43:53,250 --> 01:43:56,313
Yeah, he's gonna make
one hell of an agent.

2138
01:43:57,048 --> 01:43:59,346
I'm gonna be a...
You're making me a...

2139
01:44:00,347 --> 01:44:02,712
I'm just gonna take a second
and try to read your mind

2140
01:44:02,714 --> 01:44:04,179
and see if you're
fucking with me,

2141
01:44:04,181 --> 01:44:05,845
which would be
unbelievably cruel. But...

2142
01:44:06,180 --> 01:44:07,979
I think you're being serious.
Is this for real?

2143
01:44:07,981 --> 01:44:09,711
Yes, and it's long overdue.

2144
01:44:11,014 --> 01:44:12,913
Permission to pick you up
and spin you around?

2145
01:44:12,915 --> 01:44:14,813
I think I'm gonna regret this,
but okay.

2146
01:44:14,815 --> 01:44:16,881
Ah! Thank you so much!
Thank you, thank you!

2147
01:44:16,883 --> 01:44:18,846
Okay, wait a minute!
Hold on! Put me down.

2148
01:44:19,347 --> 01:44:20,578
Listen, listen, listen.

2149
01:44:21,015 --> 01:44:23,746
- Agents don't speak in that high tone.
- Hey!

2150
01:44:23,748 --> 01:44:25,746
Hey, what'd I miss?
What happened?

2151
01:44:26,216 --> 01:44:28,246
- Ali's making me an agent.
- Yeah.

2152
01:44:29,015 --> 01:44:30,348
That's so hot, bro.

2153
01:44:30,982 --> 01:44:32,513
- Stop!
- Oh!

2154
01:44:33,782 --> 01:44:36,746
Oh, my God. Congrats.

2155
01:44:40,583 --> 01:44:41,981
Yeah, that's what's up.

2156
01:44:42,816 --> 01:44:44,546
- Yeah.
- Feel me. That's what's up, man.

2157
01:44:44,747 --> 01:44:45,645
Dope!

2158
01:44:46,015 --> 01:44:47,748
Ooh, yes! Damn.

2159
01:44:47,750 --> 01:44:49,046
That's what's up.

2160
01:44:50,883 --> 01:44:52,646
All right,
who wants more cupcakes?

2161
01:44:52,648 --> 01:44:54,114
Me! Me! Me!

2162
01:44:54,116 --> 01:44:56,314
Wait, wait, wait. One at a time.

2163
01:44:57,516 --> 01:44:59,914
Um, uh... Bridget, would you...

2164
01:45:02,016 --> 01:45:04,113
Birthday cake delivery
for Ben.

2165
01:45:04,115 --> 01:45:06,847
- Ali, you remembered.
- Yes.

2166
01:45:06,849 --> 01:45:09,414
- That's a sports Turbo S.
- It is.

2167
01:45:09,416 --> 01:45:12,448
Maybe you can take a ride
in a real one someday.

2168
01:45:12,450 --> 01:45:14,679
Uh, Shonda,
would you mind taking the...

2169
01:45:15,516 --> 01:45:18,047
- Good to see you.
- Come with me, Ben.

2170
01:45:21,316 --> 01:45:23,313
Come on, kids.
Cake outside.

2171
01:45:23,916 --> 01:45:25,148
Can we talk?

2172
01:45:30,117 --> 01:45:32,215
I'm so sorry to show up
unannounced like this,

2173
01:45:32,217 --> 01:45:35,347
but I promised Ben
a birthday cake

2174
01:45:35,349 --> 01:45:37,713
and I wanted to honor
that promise.

2175
01:45:42,617 --> 01:45:44,215
And now I'll go.

2176
01:45:45,750 --> 01:45:46,814
Thank you.

2177
01:45:48,184 --> 01:45:51,814
But you do know that one grand
gesture doesn't just rewrite history.

2178
01:45:56,017 --> 01:45:57,882
Will, that night I met you...

2179
01:45:59,016 --> 01:46:02,149
I was afraid
that everything that I wanted

2180
01:46:02,151 --> 01:46:04,014
was being taken from me.

2181
01:46:05,984 --> 01:46:07,180
I've been there.

2182
01:46:08,318 --> 01:46:12,015
I was angry, and I disrespected
you, and that was wrong.

2183
01:46:14,083 --> 01:46:15,780
You see, I never...

2184
01:46:16,082 --> 01:46:18,980
considered what a man wants
or how he feels,

2185
01:46:18,982 --> 01:46:20,646
just as long as I won.

2186
01:46:21,216 --> 01:46:22,945
But what I've learned is that...

2187
01:46:23,382 --> 01:46:27,080
winning really doesn't matter
if you're a horrible person.

2188
01:46:27,882 --> 01:46:29,379
And you taught me that.

2189
01:46:30,348 --> 01:46:33,079
And I want to thank you
from the bottom of my heart.

2190
01:46:35,883 --> 01:46:37,114
Cool.

2191
01:46:38,483 --> 01:46:42,079
- Cool.
- Look, I know a lot has changed,

2192
01:46:42,317 --> 01:46:43,213
and so fast,

2193
01:46:44,317 --> 01:46:47,414
but, um...
I would really like a second chance.

2194
01:46:47,416 --> 01:46:49,781
And I understand if you say no.

2195
01:46:53,416 --> 01:46:56,180
- It's your third chance.
- Third? Oh, third.

2196
01:46:56,182 --> 01:46:57,982
It's... it's your third chance.

2197
01:46:57,984 --> 01:47:01,880
Shit, third.
Okay, well...

2198
01:47:01,882 --> 01:47:04,045
I like to believe
three's a charm.

2199
01:47:04,815 --> 01:47:06,647
But I totally respect...

2200
01:47:07,916 --> 01:47:09,581
- your decision.
- I, uh...

2201
01:47:18,749 --> 01:47:19,950
Okay. Okay.

2202
01:47:19,952 --> 01:47:21,616
But on one condition.

2203
01:47:22,183 --> 01:47:24,182
Look, I need to know
everything you're thinking.

2204
01:47:24,184 --> 01:47:25,748
- Everything. The truth.
- Oh!

2205
01:47:25,750 --> 01:47:27,249
No matter how hard.

2206
01:47:29,384 --> 01:47:30,281
Negotiation.

2207
01:47:31,351 --> 01:47:33,050
That's something I promise you
I'm really good at.

2208
01:47:33,052 --> 01:47:35,382
Oh, don't you worry.
You ain't getting off easy.

2209
01:47:36,183 --> 01:47:37,748
Oh, you're not.

2210
01:47:38,185 --> 01:47:40,582
I'm taking Ben to the park after this.
Hang out.

2211
01:47:45,751 --> 01:47:48,782
When you were my age,
what did you want to be?

2212
01:47:48,784 --> 01:47:51,914
Mm, I wanted to be a boxer,
believe it or not.

2213
01:47:52,350 --> 01:47:54,847
Interesting.

2214
01:47:56,818 --> 01:47:58,282
Which do you like better,

2215
01:47:58,284 --> 01:48:01,116
Porsche Turbo S
or a used Subaru?

2216
01:48:01,318 --> 01:48:04,016
Uh, I would have to say
a Porsche.

2217
01:48:04,018 --> 01:48:07,217
- Well, at least until my lease is up.
- Uh-huh.

2218
01:48:07,219 --> 01:48:08,449
- Makes sense.
- Yeah.

2219
01:48:10,384 --> 01:48:12,850
So, what are you thinking
of calling your new agency?

2220
01:48:12,852 --> 01:48:16,015
I'm thinking
Davis Athletics Management.

2221
01:48:16,017 --> 01:48:18,982
You do know,
abbreviated, that's DAM.

2222
01:48:18,984 --> 01:48:20,681
Like D-A-M. DAM.

2223
01:48:20,952 --> 01:48:22,648
- That's right.
- So you do know.

2224
01:48:22,852 --> 01:48:25,615
When people call,
I want the receptionist to say,

2225
01:48:25,617 --> 01:48:27,214
"DAM. How can I help you?"

2226
01:48:27,516 --> 01:48:30,047
- Aw, shit.
- No, that's "Aw, DAM."

2227
01:49:01,582 --> 01:49:02,647
Hold this with me.

2228
01:49:02,884 --> 01:49:04,249
Someone else is here with us.

2229
01:49:04,251 --> 01:49:05,680
Who is it?

2230
01:49:05,916 --> 01:49:07,449
- Mari.
- Yeah?

2231
01:49:08,083 --> 01:49:09,483
Mari, it's me.

2232
01:49:09,485 --> 01:49:10,515
Who is it?

2233
01:49:10,784 --> 01:49:12,315
Why did you do this to me, Mari?

2234
01:49:12,317 --> 01:49:14,714
Why didn't you mind your own
fucking business, Mari?

2235
01:49:14,716 --> 01:49:17,950
You put me behind bars
and I killed myself, Mari!

2236
01:49:17,952 --> 01:49:20,514
- Oh, shit.
- You're a fucking bitch, and I hate you!

2237
01:49:20,516 --> 01:49:22,614
Mm. Mm.

2238
01:49:22,916 --> 01:49:24,548
You're having some difficulties.

2239
01:49:24,550 --> 01:49:27,314
Don't beat me in the head
with that mystical bullshit.

2240
01:49:27,316 --> 01:49:30,282
You ain't no psychic.
I just came to buy some weed.

2241
01:49:30,284 --> 01:49:31,948
Well, why didn't you
say something?

2242
01:49:31,950 --> 01:49:34,483
- I thought you knew.
- Nigga, how much you need?

2243
01:49:34,485 --> 01:49:35,949
Before you start,
I just want to say

2244
01:49:35,951 --> 01:49:37,782
I'm allergic to tea. So...

2245
01:49:37,984 --> 01:49:39,049
Ha.

2246
01:49:39,051 --> 01:49:41,449
Not TJ Maxx.

2247
01:49:41,451 --> 01:49:43,115
'Cause I've seen
that robe there.

2248
01:50:02,085 --> 01:50:04,882
You're gonna rot in hell, Mari!

2249
01:50:04,884 --> 01:50:06,483
I don't want to go to hell.

2250
01:50:06,485 --> 01:50:08,015
You're a fucking bitch, Mari!

2251
01:50:08,017 --> 01:50:09,449
You're a fucking bitch!

2252
01:50:09,451 --> 01:50:11,883
- Mari, you're a fucking...
- Okay!

2253
01:50:11,885 --> 01:50:13,282
No, no. Go like that.

2254
01:50:13,284 --> 01:50:14,684
I feel like
maybe I need more nail.

2255
01:50:14,686 --> 01:50:16,083
No, like that.

2256
01:50:17,118 --> 01:50:18,616
Are you watching what I'm doing?

2257
01:50:18,618 --> 01:50:19,883
Who is your pastor?

2258
01:50:19,885 --> 01:50:21,784
I don't like to actually go
into church.

2259
01:50:21,786 --> 01:50:24,717
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
- So I watch it on the television.

2260
01:50:25,017 --> 01:50:27,282
Who's ever on when I wake up.

2261
01:50:48,450 --> 01:50:51,281
- Are those prescription glasses?
- Oh, boy.

2262
01:50:51,283 --> 01:50:52,948
Now, I'ma tell you
one more time.

2263
01:50:53,418 --> 01:50:55,315
Look, you can't use
your privilege in here.

2264
01:50:55,317 --> 01:50:59,781
People who want to become
proficient in the fashion world,

2265
01:50:59,783 --> 01:51:01,647
they purchase gnomes.

2266
01:51:02,117 --> 01:51:04,149
- You see that?
- A gnome? Great.

2267
01:51:04,151 --> 01:51:05,649
You need to get that gnome.

2268
01:51:05,651 --> 01:51:08,380
Don't put it next to any kind
of costume jewelry.

2269
01:51:08,382 --> 01:51:10,515
Because it cancels it out
completely.

2270
01:51:10,517 --> 01:51:12,182
So everything you have on,
you need to put that

2271
01:51:12,184 --> 01:51:13,714
on the other side of the home.

2272
01:51:13,716 --> 01:51:16,548
- Well, I mean...
- I just have so many gifts.

2273
01:51:16,550 --> 01:51:20,148
- Yeah. Yeah.
- And it's hard to hone in on one.

2274
01:51:20,150 --> 01:51:23,181
But you know where...
I think I know what that gift really is.

2275
01:51:23,183 --> 01:51:25,380
- What, what, what?
- Okay.

2276
01:51:26,250 --> 01:51:27,449
- Women's...
- Women's...

2277
01:51:28,317 --> 01:51:30,080
- empowerment...
- empowerment...

2278
01:51:33,351 --> 01:51:36,015
- coaching, speaking,
- coaching, speaking,

2279
01:51:36,618 --> 01:51:38,382
- and comedy.
- and comedy?

2280
01:51:38,384 --> 01:51:40,348
- Get out of here!
- Baby, yes.

2281
01:51:40,350 --> 01:51:41,982
We are right here.

2282
01:51:41,984 --> 01:51:44,082
I'm also seeing
that you having

2283
01:51:44,084 --> 01:51:46,082
some trouble
with your penis.

2284
01:51:46,084 --> 01:51:49,250
What? Nah, nah,
that was cleared up years ago.

2285
01:51:49,252 --> 01:51:51,016
I'm sorry, it was upside-down.

2286
01:51:51,018 --> 01:51:52,982
- This is not your penis.
- Oh.

2287
01:51:52,984 --> 01:51:54,482
That's your nose.

2288
01:52:04,085 --> 01:52:07,283
That's a six. These are three
sixes in a row. You see?

2289
01:52:07,285 --> 01:52:08,549
- Ah!
- Mm-hmm.

2290
01:52:08,551 --> 01:52:10,448
That's, uh...
that's the devil.

2291
01:52:10,450 --> 01:52:12,683
- That's the devil.
- All right.

2292
01:52:12,685 --> 01:52:13,581
You're the devil.

2293
01:52:14,251 --> 01:52:16,916
When I first saw you,
I did not want to say it

2294
01:52:16,918 --> 01:52:18,416
in front of the other girls,

2295
01:52:18,618 --> 01:52:21,917
but there's something
more special about you.

2296
01:52:21,919 --> 01:52:23,550
- Yes. Yes!
- Mm-hmm.

2297
01:52:23,552 --> 01:52:26,250
You're amazing,
and there's something about you

2298
01:52:26,252 --> 01:52:28,751
that is better than
everything that I've seen.

2299
01:52:28,753 --> 01:52:31,083
- Stay in my life forever.
- Let me tell you something.

2300
01:52:31,085 --> 01:52:33,585
Listen.
I can put you in my book.

2301
01:52:33,587 --> 01:52:35,750
We can meet once a week
and do this.

2302
01:52:35,984 --> 01:52:37,116
I'd have to pay you.

2303
01:52:37,420 --> 01:52:39,851
- Oh, don't, don't.
- I would have to pay you.

2304
01:52:39,853 --> 01:52:41,984
- I insist on paying you.
- No, I don't. No.

2305
01:52:41,986 --> 01:52:45,417
I would like to prepay
ten sessions in advance.

2306
01:52:45,419 --> 01:52:47,316
- Cash only.
- Okay.

2307
01:52:56,420 --> 01:53:01,420
Subtitles by explosiveskull