moxie - Today at 1:41 PM
Hey
trash - Today at 1:44 PM
yo
moxie - Today at 1:55 PM
Whate up
I was wondering how you were doing and if we were okay :sob:
You never msg me ...
trash - Today at 1:58 PM
hm? i'm doing fine! just... working like crazy as usual
moxie - Today at 2:03 PM
Okay!! Did you see my@plurk
trash - Today at 2:05 PM
about achilles?
moxie - Today at 2:05 PM
Yes!!
trash - Today at 2:05 PM
yep!
moxie - Today at 2:05 PM
I was wondering what you had to say since you didn’t comment
Or you didn’t have anything to say
Since it’d affect you
trash - Today at 2:06 PM
if you're not having fun, you should find a way to have fun
it'll suck to see cr go but whatever you thnk is best is best
moxie - Today at 2:06 PM
Okay!
trash - Today at 2:07 PM
i just felt like its a personal choice yknow?
i dont want to sway you one way or the other
and i didnt really... have anything to add i guess
moxie - Today at 2:11 PM
Do you think I act stupid
Lmao
I’ve been struggling a lot w insecurities and assuming people ooc feel one way or another about me. So I thought I’d talk to you personally
trash - Today at 2:13 PM
sometimes, yeah
i mean stupid is a strong word
i'd say imprudent? i guess
moxie - Today at 2:14 PM
Hm
Alrighty I see
Sorry you feel that way. I’m glad you were honest though
I don’t want to be around people who think that way of me for acting like myself, I like to laugh and if that’s offputting I apologize for that
I want ppl to be comfortable in discussing that with me, though
You’re a good guy jay. I feel like things became strained for no apparent reason but if that’s I. My head then I’m sorry.
trash - Today at 2:18 PM
you should always just strive to be true to yourself
moxie - Today at 2:19 PM
Thanks for the advice :ok_hand:
I must admit I’m disappointed in the lack of an in depth response. I’m saddened.
You’re not addressing what I’m saying and are just brushing me off with something generic and supposedly encouraging
So I’m calling bs on it bc I want to know how you truly feel
I’m opening up and I want you to too.
trash - Today at 2:23 PM
it's not really that easy for me to be open about how i feel, i know it's a cop out, but it's not an ill filling or anger or anything like that. i don't really know what to say
i get that you're insecure and you're going through a lot to put yourself in a good place, and that's really good, you should always want to improve
but i'm also not like... i don't know, it doesn't feel right telling you how you should live your life or change, either
moxie - Today at 2:25 PM
I’m not asking for that
I’m asking for your feelings about me and you just admitted that you think I act stupid without clarifying or saying anything positive
I apologized for being offputting. You didn’t address that or talk about it with me it just seems like you’re avoiding confrontation
trash - Today at 2:27 PM
see, it's somewhat related. like the fact you're even pushing me to give an answer. you push people really hard, it's a sensitive topic and i don't want to say things that's going to come off wrong
moxie - Today at 2:27 PM
If I’ve bothered you you should tell me. I’m not saying I would necessarily change but I do care about you and I don’t want to upset you
Well yeah bc I don’t think it’s a conflict that should be put under the rug jay
It’s a sensitive topic but it’s about my feelings and I think I deserve like. To be acknowledged f that makes sense
I consider you my friend but you try really hard to avoid negative interaction I think and I respect that but I’m not a scary person. I’ll listen to you and it’s important for me to know jow@my friends feel
trash - Today at 2:29 PM
i do, because i don't enjoy conflict
moxie - Today at 2:30 PM
It doesn’t have to be a bad or scary thing :frowning:
trash - Today at 2:30 PM
i've tried having open conversations with you but you tend to get aggressively defensive or change the tone to the point where i'm terrified to say anything
moxie - Today at 2:30 PM
If you have issues w me it’s going to leak out other ways and I will notice is what I’m saying
Well I’m sorry for that. If you notice that you can always point it out and I’ll try to tone it down
You’re a passive person and I don’t want to unintentionally take advantage of that
trash - Today at 2:31 PM
i think you just have this huge personality to you, and it's great, but for someone like me, i get swept up hella quick
moxie - Today at 2:31 PM
Okay.
Keep going.
I would like for you to clarify. If I’ve hurt you I think you deserve to have that hurt acknowledged
trash - Today at 2:33 PM
i don't know if it's hurt so much as just... cowardly on my end. i legitimately feel sometimes like i'm going to say something and you're going to be really offended, when that's never what i wanted in the first place
moxie - Today at 2:34 PM
I’m sorry :frowning:
I’m aggressive and it’s hard sometimes to rein myself in w people who are passive bc I’m friends with equally aggressive people LOL
But I don’t want to scare you at all. I love you a lot and talk about you to people irl all the time!!!
I feel like you’ve gotten distant. ....
That’s how things leak.
trash - Today at 2:35 PM
leak? metaphorically?
moxie - Today at 2:35 PM
Yeah like.
When someone feels negative but hides it or suppressed it it will still be noticeable
Kinda like body language but online
trash - Today at 2:36 PM
yeah, that's what i pretty much do, i hold things in and try to get over them myself. i mean it's not exactly related to this conversation, or even you, but a statement about my life in general
moxie - Today at 2:37 PM
I know..: well that’s how you cope personally
It’s not necessarily wrong but I’ll notice and want to talk about it
It doesn’t have to be scary. I think everyone’s feelings are valid and legitimate
I just want you to be open w me. If not I can’t be close to you
Bc you’ll be hiding things that you feel
trash - Today at 2:40 PM
so what are your fears? is it because i say you do imprudent things?
moxie - Today at 2:41 PM
Yes - and how that may be offputting to you or put you in a position where you don’t want to befriend me or be close to@me@anymore
trash - Today at 2:41 PM
i think you're putting words in there that might not be true
it's not that i don't want to be close to you, i don't think that's it at all
i do think, though, that sometimes when you say things, you don't think through your words or the things you say have an effect on people that you don't see forthcoming- and that has the effect of pushing people away
moxie - Today at 2:45 PM
I’m not talking about other ppl tho. I want to know how you personally feel and if you can give instances of that
Tho I appreciate your insight
When it’s like kyah being personally offended over me saying sieg is a bad protest idc ... I’m not close with kyah
And if kyah would rather make scathing remarks with lols tacked on rather than talk to me about it and tell me they’re seriously bothered then that’s on them
I can’t read minds
Which is why I’m coming to you to ask you personally
trash - Today at 2:47 PM
yeah, that argument between you two bothered me a lot, and is a good example of what i'm talking about
moxie - Today at 2:51 PM
Well I’m sorry it bothered you.
I don’t understand ppl who get so serious over fandom opinions and then they want to get away with remarks without seriously talking about it with me privately
I have an issue w that in itself. I don’t do well with non confrontational ppl esp bc I find it hypocritical of ppl to enjoy my positive attention and energy and then get bent out of shape over innocuous remarks about a protagonist
I won’t apologize for what I said j will apologize for having a conversation wrought w tension in a public chat
When t should’ve been private
Anyhow, I noticed you were put off
I’m putting the ball in your court. I don’t know if I’ll be actively pursuing ou for chats when you don’t seem too involved - maybe you got scared off?
trash - Today at 2:54 PM
wait, wait
back up like 2 steps
moxie - Today at 2:54 PM
But I’m willing to get over a hurdle. If you have an inherent issue w my personality then I won’t bother you or put you on the spot. I didn’t know that’s how you felt and I didn’t mean to be pushy
trash - Today at 2:54 PM
then get bent out of shape over innocuous remarks about a protagonist you flat out joked that you would rape a sieg if he joined
max... that wasn't okay
moxie - Today at 2:58 PM
i said id kill him..
LMAO
i never said rape.. wtf.
how dare you... dude... idk why youd accuse me of that, i remember clearly what i said. maybe i said id bang them but that isn't a joke about rape. wtf.
moxie - Today at 3:00 PM
idk. i thought you knew me well enough but i'm getting the sense that you don't? But that's fine.
honestly you're valid in what you feel or think, but i did not do that.
you misunderstood.
anyhow, whatever. ill drop.
trash - Today at 3:03 PM
hold this conversation, i have to be on a call right now
moxie - Today at 3:03 PM
i don't like people thinking this way of me - i wasn't aware my behavior was so belligerent that people think id' make serious jokes about rape... when I'm a victim of sexual assault.. no one said anything when id' joke about fucking ryuji to death?
so i find this hypocrital and hurtful.
fine.
id rather you have been upfront about this before
thinking this way about me is not cool or okay in tiself./
trash - Today at 3:05 PM
if i remember, the conversation was about the idea if a sieg ever apped in you'd have sex with him, it was so cringey, like non-consensual even
like, why would you even say that?
moxie - Today at 3:06 PM
I will get what I said
i never said that
trash - Today at 3:06 PM
i never mind if it's me, because i wanted ryuji and achilles to hook up in game and we even apped in with the hope that it would work out, and we've even written them leading up to sex, that would be completely OK
moxie - Today at 3:06 PM
i tell everyone id bang them???
trash - Today at 3:07 PM
max you joke so often about sexual themes
moxie - Today at 3:07 PM
its never implied to be rape???
I KNOW LMAO
EXACTLY
so why think I'm joking about RAPE of all things
trash - Today at 3:07 PM
it can be taken the wrong way SO MANY ways
moxie - Today at 3:07 PM
ive BEEN raped
trash - Today at 3:07 PM
because you didn't even think of what the sieg rp'er would want
you gotta see its cringey
please tell me you do
moxie - Today at 3:07 PM
i say that to everyone.. i would say that to the sieg.
why think its rape now of all times... when i openly say
I'm gonna bang morgana
im gonna bang your mom
etc.
trash - Today at 3:08 PM
please dont shes so old
moxie - Today at 3:08 PM
its hypocritical.
trash - Today at 3:08 PM
dude, you really need to reel back on the sexual comments
moxie - Today at 3:08 PM
its being selective about whats okay and what isnt
its not consistent
trash - Today at 3:08 PM
like, in general
moxie - Today at 3:08 PM
suure.
im dropping anyway, so you don't have to put up with it at all.
im sorry if my jokes about ryuji was ever offensive to you
i cant take anyone seriously though if theyre going to be choosy and selective about whats okay and what isn't re: sexuality esp concerning characters that aren't their own. im sorry. most people are receptive, they like the attention.
when someone tells me they don't appreciate it i stop altogether.
trash - Today at 3:10 PM
you're doing it again. aggressively defensive to the point where it pushes people away
this is what i mean
moxie - Today at 3:10 PM
im being hoenst though.
like.. if youre going to say what im doing wrong, i want to say how i think its wrong. if you weren't a friend id just say okay and wash my hands of it.
trash - Today at 3:11 PM
i'm not telling you to drop at all, though, idk why you're saying that
moxie - Today at 3:11 PM
i don't want anyone to be uncomfortable.
me dropping is my own choice.
i never wanted to taint my characterization ooc and i feel like its changed peoples impression of my character.
and that cant necessarily be changed right away.
trash - Today at 3:12 PM
but how?
who's been treating him like a joke?
moxie - Today at 3:12 PM
but don't ever insinuate that i threatened to rape ..a character...
that's so offensive to me
as someone whos suffered from assault.
that's putting intentions in me
trash - Today at 3:12 PM
it's a boundary issue
moxie - Today at 3:12 PM
and hurts me.
its not your boundary though, and i didn't say rape... or non consensual sex.
when i talk about boning a character its always meant to be consensual unless Achilles gets rejected.
so youre implying my intentions when you don't know
bc you didn't talk to me about it right away
trash - Today at 3:13 PM
it opened the door for the implication
moxie - Today at 3:13 PM
but i dod that..with everyone
do you see what im saying?
youre being selective
and it doesn't make sense to me
its saying that its okay to do it to one person but not anyother
i evne clarified that i just didn't like him as a protag but as a side character i would've liked him.
and that id rp with one..
and then we started yelling and joking around.
you didn't talk to me about my pov , my intentions, or what i thought.
you just made a bold assumption so i hope you can see why that's offensive to me, jay.
esp bc that's such a sensitive topic to me to begin with.
trash - Today at 3:15 PM
you're being so manipulative right now.
moxie - Today at 3:15 PM
wtf.. im laying out facts, jay.
trash - Today at 3:15 PM
i already told you i process things internally
moxie - Today at 3:15 PM
i know, but to make a bold assumption like that when i didn't OUTRIGHT say it is hurtful.
im telling you that. how i feel.
it was a bold assumption. i didn't say that so why think that - you admitted you thought of it as an implication.
thats' not being manipulative. why do you think it is? can you explain tome
so i can clarify
trash - Today at 3:18 PM
you're telling me that i'm being offensive and that you're hurt while simultaneously making me feel like crap like wth
moxie - Today at 3:20 PM
well that is how i feel? like its an open door. this is about getting it out in the open.
i felt offended that youd make that assumption without talking to me - im telling you so we can talk about this and avoid that in the future
if i said it with harsh words its be im emotional
trash - Today at 3:22 PM
well i'm sorry i didn't come to you right away about it? you have to understand how awkward it felt, i wasn't even a part of the conversation
moxie - Today at 3:22 PM
but i mean what i said. i don't want you ever thinking that's what i meant without talking to me first, if i didn't outright say something pls don't assume. just ask me to clarify.
i don't want my friends thinking that of me :frowning:
even if its not your convo you saw it and made an assumption which is fine. but im telling you to talk to me first before thinking that of me
trash - Today at 3:22 PM
i can promise that
in the future, i absolutely will
moxie - Today at 3:23 PM
okay that means a lot :frowning:
im srory.. i got triggered LMAO
trash - Today at 3:23 PM
can you promise to take feedback and not withdraw or get super angry at me?
moxie - Today at 3:23 PM
I WAS SHAKING..and im at work and i didn't mean to be overly aggressive or accusatory.
trash - Today at 3:23 PM
i feel like thats the issue here honestly
moxie - Today at 3:23 PM
yes :frowning: but if i think im being faced with an unfounded accusation i want to be able to say i feel that way.
i can try to speak calmer and clarify things i say
trash - Today at 3:24 PM
i dont like going to you because you get aggressive and then i just feel like i cant say anthing or do anything without an argument or putting us in an awkward place
moxie - Today at 3:26 PM
i know but you also have to understand that tense emotions happen and that doesn't have to be scary. ill try to be calmer.
do you understand why id react that way being told that my friend thought i was making a joke about rape?
me talking about sex and stuff is bc... i get pos feedback from everyone
who likes the attention/thinks its funny.
that's why i said it confuses me
i'm glad you talked to me about it though. i got triggered so maybe i was a bit aggressive.
trash - Today at 3:28 PM
max you're a naturally funny person, you dont need to lean on jokes about sex as a crowd pleaser
moxie - Today at 3:28 PM
i do it so people don't think their characters are unattractive actually
ive ran into that problem before. where i thirst after one character and people will be like WHAT ABOTU MINE
LMAO
trash - Today at 3:29 PM
that's so mean holy fuck
agjjeghaj
moxie - Today at 3:29 PM
i don't think its mean. people get insecure about their characters not being engaging or feeling left out
so that's what i do. i try to make people feel included, i try to get them to have cr with others.
if someone hasissues they will talk to me! but i haven't ran into that before yet at agoge.
i can stop making jokes about ryuji, i never wanted to make you of all people uncomfortable about my jokes.
esp bc im having Achilles respect ryuji and to encourage him not to do impulsive things/let him be sexual with him
i hope that comes across
but yeah ill adjust... I don't know if I want to keep Achilles in agoge and If people feel uncomfortable then ill do whats best for everyone involved. I just don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable.
trash - Today at 3:41 PM
i hate to be like this but i really can't talk that much right now, i have to be active in this call
moxie - Today at 3:41 PM
no its okay!! I think the conversation is over now anyway.