May 9th, 2017
Not a member of Pastebin yet? Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!
  1. Spaceball the Jumpchain
  3. Spaceballs the intro
  5. Take these 1000 Spaceballs the Choice Points (SCP) to help you.
  7. Spaceballs the origin
  9. Roll 1d8+20 for age, keep gender, 50 CP to decide whatever you want for both.
  11. Drop-in (0 SCP)
  12. You drop into the world as you are now. No memories clouding your judgement, but no friends either.
  14. Space rogue (100 SCP)
  15. You are a dashing rogue, but in space. Sometimes people doubt your morals, but you usually end up doing the right thing. Also, you tend to have exciting adventures.
  17. Spaceball (100 SCP)
  18. You are a Spaceball, from planet Spaceball. All you do is dirty deeds.
  20. Cameraman (100 SCP)
  21. You don't actually have a role in this adventure, your job this time around is to be the guy (or girl) who points the camera at the people who are having adventures. Maybe you'll finally see what this stuff is like for me.
  23. Spaceballs the locations
  24. Roll 1d8, or pay 100 SCP to choose if you don't like what you get.
  26. 1 Planet Spaceball
  27. Watch out for the air shortage.
  29. 2 Planet Druidia
  31. 3 Moon of Vega
  33. 4 Planet of the Apes
  35. 5 Space Diner
  37. 6 In Pizza the Hutt's limosine
  39. 7 In the middle of space
  40. Hope you have a ship
  42. 8 Free choice
  43. Lucky you
  45. Spaceballs the perks
  47. We're on Pluto (100 SCP) Free Drop-in
  48. You have the unusual ability to determine what planet you're on by the texture of treebark. Does not work on planets without trees, for obvious reasons.
  50. General Dashing-ness (100 SCP) Free Rogue
  51. People swoon over you, you can pull of crazy plans, and you're good at space-swashbuckling.
  53. I didn't see you playing with your dolls again! (100 SCP) Free Spaceball
  54. People are either too scared of you or respect you too much to call you on it when you do something embaressing.
  56. Action! (100 SCP) Free Cameraman
  57. You actually know how to operate a camera.
  59. Vulcan Neck Pinch (300 SCP) Discount Drop-in
  60. You can safely and quickly render people unconsious by squeezing a nerve cluster. Remember, it's down where the shoulder meets the neck.
  62. Pretty good for Rambo (300 SCP) Discount Rogue
  63. You're really good with a gun.
  65. Spaceballs (300 SCP) Discount Spaceball
  67. Don't look at the camera (300 SCP) Discount Cameraman
  68. When you want to, as long as you keep to yourself and don't do or say anything, people tend to forget you're there. Good for when you want to get footage when people are at their most open or hear things they wouldn't admit to your face.
  70. Moichandising (600 SCP) Discount Drop-in
  71. You are an expert at merchandising. The basics of mass production and advertising are now known to you, and you have the rights to put characters from any world you've been to on whatever mundane crap you want to sell to an unsuspecting public. As a bonus, you also get 200 SCP worth of items from the Merchandise section.
  73. Schwartz-sensitive (600 SCP) Discount Rogue
  74. You're attuned to the Schwartz, granting you the abilities of minor telekinesis and calling a laser sword from a Schwartz ring.
  76. If you took Spacball as your origin, you are attuned to the dark side of the Schwartz and gain an additional attack that targets a foe's most sensitive bits.
  78. President (600 SCP) Discount Spaceball
  79. You are now president of planet Spaceball, with all the power that entails. This also grants a large boost to your charisma and political abilities. Unfortunately, being around so many Spaceballs may make you think you took the Surrounded by Assholes drawback.
  81. We are looking at now (600 SCP) Discount Cameraman
  82. By using the latest in cinematic technology, you're able to get movies on the shelves while they're still being made, including the movie for your current world. In any world, you may watch the movie of your previous adventure, even going past the present moment. Be very careful though, compressing ten years into two and a half hours is going to leave a lot of important stuff on the cutting room floor. In addition, you also receive movies of all your previous adventures, and will receive the movie of a world upon visiting it.
  84. Spaceballs the merchandise
  86. 500 Spacebucks (50 SCP)
  88. Spaceballs the Schwartz ring (50 SCP) Free with Schwartz-sensitive
  89. Bupkis.
  91. Spaceballs the Dolls (50 SCP)
  92. Nine dolls. One is of you, and the others are of your choice of 8 companions.
  94. Spaceballs the Lunchbox (50 SCP)
  96. Spaceballs the Spaceballs Helmet (100 SCP) Free Spaceball
  97. A free Spaceball Helmet. It looks ridiculous.
  99. Spaceballs the Jam (100 SCP)
  100. Lets you jam radars, gets rid of the bleeps, the sweeps, and the creeps. The default flavor is raspberry, but you can pick the flavor for another 50 SCP.
  102. Spaceballs the Flamethrower (100 SCP) Free Drop-in
  103. Kids love it
  105. Spaceballs the Blaster (100 SCP) Free Rogue
  106. A high-quality blaster. Legally I have to tell you that you're not supposed to aim this at people, and we're not liable if you do.
  108. Spaceballs the Virgin Alarm (100 SCP)
  109. This alarm can detect, and will go off, when a virgin attempts to have sex within 50 meters of it. Great fun.
  111. Spaceballs the Mr. Coffee (100 SCP) Free Cameraman
  112. Provides you with a perfect, piping-hot cup of coffee. Good for when you're watching radar.
  114. Spaceballs the Mr. Radar (200 SCP)
  115. It's space radar. Now you can detect things more accurately than with your eyes.
  117. Spaceballs the Liquid Schwartz (200 SCP)
  118. Boots the speed of anything that has an engine so it goes at the speed of plot. Refills once a month.
  120. Spaceballs the Medalion of royalty (200 SCP)
  121. Showing this can temporarily convince people you're royalty. However, since this is a licensed good, it's not actually real and your story will eventually fall apart.
  123. Spaceballs the Hyperjets (300 SCP)
  124. Any vehicle these are installed on gains the ability to travel at lightspeed. You should probably only instal this on a spaceship, for obvious reasons.
  126. Spaceballs the Ludicrous Speed Drive (600 SCP)
  127. Lightspeed too slow? Installing this on a vehicle grants it FTFTL (Faster than Faster than Light) travel. Be careful, you'll go so fast you'll turn to plaid.
  129. Spaceballs the spaceships
  130. How are you going to get around space? This is how.
  132. Space bicycle (0 SCP)
  133. A space bike. It'll get you around, but it's pretty weak and you have to pedal.
  135. Space Car (100 SCP)
  136. It's a space car. Comes with a radio that works in space and a cassette player.
  138. Space RV (200 SCP)
  139. Can be any make of RV you want, even a Winnebago. You can buy Hyperjets for it at a discount.
  141. Space import (400 SCP)
  142. You can take a vehicle you already have and make it spaceworthy. You may take your choice of either free Hyperjets or a discounted Ludicrous Speed Drive.
  144. Spaceball 2 (1200 SCP) Discount with President
  145. You have an exact copy of Spaceball 1. It's extremely powerful, but requires a crew the size of an army. It also has a mall and a three-ring circus, and can transform into the mighty Mega-Maid. Comes with a free Ludicrous Speed Drive. Fitting it in your warehouse might be a problem though...
  147. Oh, and the self-destruct cancellation button is broken, but I'm sure that won't be a problem.
  149. Spaceballs the Drawbacks
  150. Can take up to 2
  152. I've got the same combination on my luggage! (+100 SCP)
  153. Your password for everything is 1 2 3 4 5. EVERYTHING.
  155. Oh no...not again (+100 SCP)
  156. On occasion, an alien will burst out of your torso, sing, and then run away. This won't kill you, but it's annoying and hurts like hell. For 100 SCP, you may take one of them as a companion.
  158. Pizza sends out for you (+200 SCP)
  159. You're in debt to Pizza the Hutt for one million spacebucks. Better find some cash quick before Pizza sends out for you.
  161. Matching luggage (+200 SCP)
  162. You refuse to go anywhere unless you can bring your matching luggage. It's a large set.
  164. Surrounded by assholes (+300 SCP)
  165. You're surrounded by assholes. This affects any allies or subordinates, even companions you bring into this world.
  167. Even in the future nothing works! (+300 SCP)
  168. Fuck!
RAW Paste Data Copied