2017/06/02 10:36]  Zeni Deka: welcome home my girl
[2017/06/02 10:36]  Zeni Deka: come join me
[2017/06/02 10:36]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): Thank you
[2017/06/02 10:36]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): How are you doing?
[2017/06/02 10:36]  Zeni Deka: /me pulls her in tight
[2017/06/02 10:37]  Zeni Deka: doing good here girl, and very happy to get to see you
[2017/06/02 10:37]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): /me smiles softly
[2017/06/02 10:37]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): I really appreciate all the attention you've given me. I mean that
[2017/06/02 10:37]  Zeni Deka: I do my best for it
[2017/06/02 10:38]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): You're very kind, and it's touching that you invited me into your household
[2017/06/02 10:38]  Zeni Deka: ty
[2017/06/02 10:39]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): I've been thinking a lot lately, about SL and my direction and such
[2017/06/02 10:39]  Zeni Deka: oh?
[2017/06/02 10:39]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): I don't like saying this, but I don't feel that things are working between us
[2017/06/02 10:40]  Zeni Deka: what do you mean
[2017/06/02 10:41]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): I mean that I appreciate what you've tried to do for me, but I don't think I'll be coming around here anymore. I feel like what you want and what I want are too different
[2017/06/02 10:41]  Zeni Deka: so thats it not even going to talk through it just not going to come here
[2017/06/02 10:42]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): I don't see how we could talk through things. I have an owner who makes me very happy and satisfied. I'm open to some casual fun, but it's very clear you are more interested in an ownership-type relationship
[2017/06/02 10:43]  Zeni Deka: if i was I would be pushing more
[2017/06/02 10:44]  Zeni Deka: and if I did not respect what you and your owner has that would be the case
[2017/06/02 10:45]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): You pushed enough that it made me uncomfortable repeatedly. I've hoped that I could get you to tone that down, but I haven't been able to communicate that well enough I guess
[2017/06/02 10:45]  Zeni Deka: nope
[2017/06/02 10:46]  Zeni Deka: i have not felt you being uncomfortable, quite the opposite
[2017/06/02 10:46]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): When I feel sub, it's hard for me to object to things. I tried to go along with what you wanted, but emotionally it wasn't good for me
[2017/06/02 10:47]  Zeni Deka: theres alot more then just blindly going along
[2017/06/02 10:47]  Zeni Deka: and you should know this
[2017/06/02 10:47]  Zeni Deka: you are sub not a slave
[2017/06/02 10:48]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): /me nods
[2017/06/02 10:48]  Zeni Deka: even then a slave can talk to the right owner
[2017/06/02 10:48]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): I know
[2017/06/02 10:50]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): Would you honestly be satisfied with things being very casual? You probably would not see me much
[2017/06/02 10:50]  Zeni Deka: like i do now
[2017/06/02 10:50]  Zeni Deka: its not like you are here every day either
[2017/06/02 10:52]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): I have been avoiding logging in for a while, because of my feelings about this. I know that was unfair to you, I didn't want to leave you hanging, but it was also not an easy decision for me
[2017/06/02 10:52]  Zeni Deka: yes it was quite unfair
[2017/06/02 10:53]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): I know, I'm sorry I did that. I needed time to figure things out
[2017/06/02 10:53]  Zeni Deka: considering I would rather deal with the situation and work through it, but yet you let it fester
[2017/06/02 10:53]  Zeni Deka: if you had of came to me to talk about it
[2017/06/02 10:53]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): /me sighs softly
[2017/06/02 10:55]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): I didn't want to hurt you. It's hard to say 'too much' to someone who is just showing kindness
[2017/06/02 10:55]  Zeni Deka: and this isnt hurting me now by telling me you have "just went along"
[2017/06/02 10:56]  Zeni Deka: and yes I had shown kindness, not for my own gain either
[2017/06/02 10:56]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): I did enjoy a lot of the things we did together, I didn't mean to imply I wasn't
[2017/06/02 10:58]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): I really am thankful for the kindness you've shown me, and I'm sorry that it's come to this
[2017/06/02 10:58]  Zeni Deka: this is on you for sure
[2017/06/02 10:58]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): Yes I know
[2017/06/02 10:59]  Zeni Deka: once this is made and once leaving here, there might be a chance it could be talked about in the future but for right now you will be living with this
[2017/06/02 10:59]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): /me nods softly
[2017/06/02 10:59]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): I understand
[2017/06/02 11:00]  Zeni Deka: my kindness can not be taken lightly
[2017/06/02 11:00]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): I don't, this was very hard for me
[2017/06/02 11:00]  Zeni Deka: this wouldnt of been hard if you had of came to me to talk
[2017/06/02 11:00]  Zeni Deka: long before this
[2017/06/02 11:01]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): You're right, I should have communicated better
[2017/06/02 11:01]  Zeni Deka: how would you feel if this was you in my position for wildrose
[2017/06/02 11:01]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): I would feel awful
[2017/06/02 11:02]  Zeni Deka: and a bit bitten
[2017/06/02 11:02]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): /me nods softly
[2017/06/02 11:02]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): I'm sorry that I put you through this
[2017/06/02 11:02]  Zeni Deka: i am kind and caring until i get bit
[2017/06/02 11:03]  Zeni Deka: you have known how this family had worked
[2017/06/02 11:03]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): I know
[2017/06/02 11:04]  Zeni Deka: I would of been ok  to give you space
[2017/06/02 11:04]  Zeni Deka: or to tone things down
[2017/06/02 11:04]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): I didn't know how to express that, and you are right, that is my fault
[2017/06/02 11:04]  Zeni Deka: yes I can read alot from people
[2017/06/02 11:05]  Zeni Deka: but not a mind reader
[2017/06/02 11:06]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): No, I know you can only act on what I communicate
[2017/06/02 11:06]  Zeni Deka: one thing i have just learned, now
[2017/06/02 11:06]  Zeni Deka: you and wildrose are great at putting masks on
[2017/06/02 11:08]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): I never intended to hide my feelings. I couldn't figure out how to express what I really felt at times. I know that doesn't excuse it, but that is what happened
[2017/06/02 11:08]  Zeni Deka: yep
[2017/06/02 11:10]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): I hope this doesn't harm your relationship with Wildrose. She had nothing to do with this, it is all on me
[2017/06/02 11:10]  Zeni Deka: thats up to you
[2017/06/02 11:10]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): What do you mean?
[2017/06/02 11:10]  Zeni Deka: since you are her owner
[2017/06/02 11:10]  Zeni Deka: very simple
[2017/06/02 11:10]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): I would never try to get in the way of something good for her. I hope that things go very well between you
[2017/06/02 11:11]  Zeni Deka: things have been
[2017/06/02 11:11]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): I'm glad to hear that
[2017/06/02 11:11]  Zeni Deka: and while she was trying to find herself i was trying to show you some of what i had to offer
[2017/06/02 11:12]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): /me nods softly
[2017/06/02 11:12]  Zeni Deka: shes going to be getting the same care and love that i had been showing her
[2017/06/02 11:13]  Zeni Deka: she even came to me when she didnt feel right and talked through things
[2017/06/02 11:13]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): That is good, I'm glad that she has handled things better than i did
[2017/06/02 11:14]  Zeni Deka: seems to be so
[2017/06/02 11:15]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): Do you feel that there's more to talk about?
[2017/06/02 11:15]  Zeni Deka: dont know now
[2017/06/02 11:15]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): /me nods softly
[2017/06/02 11:15]  Zeni Deka: since i didnt know there were things to talk about to begin with
[2017/06/02 11:17]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): I'm willing to talk about specifics if you want to, but I know this hurts and I don't want to drag things out unnecessarily
[2017/06/02 11:18]  Zeni Deka: wont be today
[2017/06/02 11:18]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): I understand
[2017/06/02 11:18]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): I'm sorry for doing this to you
[2017/06/02 11:18]  Zeni Deka: you had an opportunity to talk about specifics when they came up
[2017/06/02 11:18]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): Yes, you're right
[2017/06/02 11:19]  Zeni Deka: yep yet again my kindness getting hit again
[2017/06/02 11:20]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): I am glad that you have Diamond. She is a very good girl, and you deserve someone like her who will do right by you
[2017/06/02 11:21]  Zeni Deka: yes shes done wonders for me in many ways
[2017/06/02 11:21]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): /me smiles softly
[2017/06/02 11:21]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): Well, I suppose I should go and let you move on to better things
[2017/06/02 11:21]  Zeni Deka: shes been through all the times i got kicked
[2017/06/02 11:21]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): /me nods softly
[2017/06/02 11:22]  Zeni Deka: and she will be getting me through this time getting kicked
[2017/06/02 11:22]  Zeni Deka: and i will say this... the only one that will change anything to help wildrose is going to be you
[2017/06/02 11:22]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): I hope the best for you and your family, I really do. I'm sorry for this
[2017/06/02 11:23]  Zeni Deka: but if you remove her from my care shes not gonna have it anymore
[2017/06/02 11:24]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): I have no intention of doing that. I want the best for her, and you are kind and generous
[2017/06/02 11:24]  Zeni Deka: who knows what i might consider with this situation but its going to be a long while
[2017/06/02 11:24]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): I understand
[2017/06/02 11:24]  Zeni Deka: i wont be doing what i have been doing in the past
[2017/06/02 11:24]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): I know
[2017/06/02 11:25]  Zeni Deka: i wont be looking for you to be on
[2017/06/02 11:25]  Zeni Deka: and i wont be putting things on hold to come even to say hi
[2017/06/02 11:25]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): I understand
[2017/06/02 11:25]  Zeni Deka: you lost that
[2017/06/02 11:25]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): /me nods softly
[2017/06/02 11:25]  Zeni Deka: now ive ran out of time
[2017/06/02 11:26]  Zeni Deka: be well
[2017/06/02 11:26]  Ashley (AshleyK2813): Goodbye Zeni