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INDOXXI
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1
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Someone once said, "We don't
stop playing because we grow old.

2
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:41,925
"We grow old because we stop playing."

3
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When you're a kid, you can't imagine
having any other group of friends.

4
00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:49,053
You think you're gonna be
buddies forever.

5
00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:52,227
Of course, for most people,
that just doesn't happen.

6
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:57,145
But my friends and I,
we figured out a way around that.

7
00:00:57,599 --> 00:01:00,193
We just never stopped playing.

8
00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:04,031
And I like to think that simple thing,
playing a game,

9
00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:07,656
is what made me the man I am today.

10
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So the man you are today
wants to be a janitor.

11
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Yes.

12
00:01:16,827 --> 00:01:19,421
Look, Doctor Malloy,
I'm looking at your résumé.

13
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:21,544
It says you got a Ph.D.
in veterinary medicine

14
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:24,422
and that you actually
have a successful practice right now.

15
00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:28,681
Look, there comes a time
in every man's life

16
00:01:28,839 --> 00:01:30,466
where you just gotta take stock,

17
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ask yourself what's really important,
what's on your bucket list.

18
00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:37,397
So let me get this straight.

19
00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:41,602
On your bucket list, you don't have,
like, skydiving or rock climbing,

20
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or tap dancing, maybe?

21
00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:44,362
Dancing with wolves,

22
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:45,815
I believe that has to be a thing.

23
00:01:45,897 --> 00:01:47,524
They wouldn't have made a movie
if it wasn't, you know?

24
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:51,203
All I know is that, for me,
what I really want

25
00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:57,243
is to clean the urine off
of that man's toilet seat.

26
00:01:57,743 --> 00:01:58,744
Talking about the boss.

27
00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:02,497
Mr. Callahan.

28
00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:04,166
Yeah, he's a great man.
This is a great company.

29
00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:07,048
Anything I can do
to get closer to that guy, sign me up.

30
00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:08,962
Okay, look, man.

31
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,676
Honestly, any other situation,

32
00:02:10,756 --> 00:02:12,975
I would just tell you
to get the fuck out my office, okay?

33
00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:16,725
But we do need the help,
so when can you start?

34
00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:24,357
I've already begun.

35
00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:25,608
What the fuck was that?

36
00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:27,697
I haven't even opened that yet.

37
00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:30,697
I'm sorry.
I was trying to be proactive.

38
00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:33,157
Today. I can start today. Um...

39
00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:35,781
Why don't I get you another Coke?

40
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- You do that, we good.
- Okay.

41
00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:39,326
But don't throw away no more new stuff.

42
00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:41,335
You will not be disappointed.

43
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We don't have to shake hands, man.

44
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- Okay. I'll be right back.
- Sure.

45
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White people.

46
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All right, Bob. You're the CEO
of a Fortune 800 company.

47
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You have commanded the respect
of coworkers and vendors alike,

48
00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:02,895
and that is why you're being interviewed
by the big boys.

49
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:05,353
The Wall Street Journal.

50
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:10,695
- Miss Crosby.
- Hi.

51
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,609
- Hi. Bob Callahan.
- Rebecca.

52
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:13,990
Thank you so much
for taking the time.

53
00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:15,244
Thank you.

54
00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:17,994
Should we just get right into it?

55
00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:19,575
- Yeah, let's jump right in.
- All right.

56
00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:22,127
Well, here's what I would love for your
readers to know about our company.

57
00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:23,416
We are young.

58
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We are dynamic. We are fun.

59
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So let's talk about diabetes.

60
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:31,469
Mr. Callahan,
how do you respond to the idea

61
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that your industry
uses captive insurance

62
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to move risk off balance sheets?

63
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Well, great question. Tough, but fair.

64
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Um, I guess I would say that
what I love about Freedom Atlantic

65
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is that we're not like
other insurance companies.

66
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We're big, but small.

67
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... Small.

68
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We are, um...

69
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You know, we're complex...

70
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...and yet, also simple.

71
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And we are global...

72
00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:08,169
Yet local.

73
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,545
That's exactly right.

74
00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:10,625
Sorry, one second.

75
00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:13,212
Hey, could you maybe come back
at another time?

76
00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:14,842
We're just right in the middle
of something. Sir?

77
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:18,346
I'm afraid not, Bob.

78
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,177
Jesus Christ, Hoagie!

79
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What are you doing here?

80
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:22,596
How did you get past security?

81
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:24,306
I didn't. I work here.

82
00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:28,818
You got a job at my company,
so you could try to tag me?

83
00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:30,396
Come on. Bob, it's over.

84
00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:32,652
You don't think I can escape
from my own conference room?

85
00:04:32,856 --> 00:04:33,857
Where are you gonna go?

86
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:36,534
Well, guess what? Watch now
'cause this is happening.

87
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- God dang it!
- Okay.

88
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:43,162
- ... Ouch.
- You okay?

89
00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:44,622
God. Okay.

90
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:45,786
You're right.

91
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,204
It's over.

92
00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:51,591
- Well, you're it.
- Yeah, I know. All right.

93
00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:53,384
It's good to see you.
Good to see you, pal.

94
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:54,712
- Good to see you.
- Have you lost weight?

95
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:57,639
Yeah, a little bit.
Hey, listen, this is serious. Um...

96
00:04:58,465 --> 00:04:59,466
Jerry's quitting.

97
00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:00,596
What? Bullshit.

98
00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:02,978
I swear to God.
End of this season, he's retiring.

99
00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:07,558
Well, okay. But, lam in the middle
of an interview. So can I--

100
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,985
- Wall Street Journal, that's so coo“
- Thank you.

101
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:11,312
No, thank you, by the way,

102
00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:12,737
'cause this was the distraction
I needed.

103
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,315
You get Bob talking about himself...

104
00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:16,195
It is just a feedback loop. Non-stop.

105
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:17,867
- Can we talk about this outside, please?
- Yeah.

106
00:05:17,943 --> 00:05:20,071
Can we talk about this outside?
I'll be right back. I promise.

107
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:21,988
There's three days left in May.

108
00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:24,996
That gives us 63 hours
to round up the guys and get him.

109
00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:27,077
Great. We can talk about this
over dinner.

110
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,503
What? No, no, no. We have to go now!

111
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,664
Don't you have bathrooms to clean
or something?

112
00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:32,082
Technically, yes, I do.

113
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All right, well, you know what?

114
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,676
Take this ridiculous thing off...

115
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:36,636
...and get to it.
We'll talk about this later.

116
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:38,884
I'll resign, Bob.

117
00:05:38,964 --> 00:05:40,386
You don't have to. You're fired.

118
00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:42,222
Good. 'Cause the benefits here suck!

119
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:43,476
No, they don't.

120
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,762
That's true. Benefits are really good.

121
00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:50,983
Hey, sorry about that.
Where were we?

122
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:52,936
- Diabetes. Yes.
- Explain.

123
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:55,738
Well...I'm not a doctor,
but there are two types.

124
00:05:56,231 --> 00:06:01,283
Type one is called "Type One".
And Type Two is more of an adult onset.

125
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:02,908
No. Him.

126
00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:06,457
- What are you doing?
- Hoagie, what do you want?

127
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,750
You tagged me. I'm it, okay?

128
00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:09,828
You're sitting there
like I didn't just tell you

129
00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:11,333
we gotta deal with this right now.

130
00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:14,583
Because we got a real shot
at Jerry this year.

131
00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:15,792
You say that every year.

132
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:18,004
- Yeah, but this year's different.
- You say that every year.

133
00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:20,384
- But this year's really different.
- You said that last year.

134
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:21,760
I know, you're right.

135
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,600
But this year's actually different

136
00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:28,563
because we know exactly
where he's going to be and when.

137
00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:33,856
"The wedding celebration
of Susan and Jerry.

138
00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:35,107
"Saturday, May 31st."

139
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,401
He's a sitting duck!

140
00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:41,075
We gotta join forces. We get Jerry now,

141
00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:43,194
or we die.

142
00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:46,365
- What?
- Eventually. You know what I mean.

143
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,500
Come on, Bob.

144
00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:52,583
You gonna grow old,
or you gonna keep playing?

145
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:00,086
Keep playing.

146
00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:03,723
That is the right answer.
Nice to meet you.

147
00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:04,883
I'm sorry. I have to go.

148
00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:05,967
No....

149
00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:08,136
Hold on. Hold on.

150
00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:09,937
I can't believe he's getting married,
and he didn't even tell us.

151
00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:12,311
I know. I was mad at first, too,
and then hurt.

152
00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:14,939
But, you know, he just realized
he'd be a sitting target.

153
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:16,603
That's insane, even for him.

154
00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:19,064
Will one of you please tell me
what's going on here?

155
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,440
Are we off the record?

156
00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:22,158
No, definitely not.

157
00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:23,234
Awesome. Okay.

158
00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:25,912
Our group of friends has been playing
the same game of tag for 30 years.

159
00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:27,284
What?

160
00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:30,709
For the entire month of May,
every year, we play tag.

161
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:31,785
Just like when we were kids.

162
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,791
But we're not on a playground,
and we all live in different cities.

163
00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:36,168
So you don't ever know
when someone's gonna pop up.

164
00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:37,499
You could be shopping at the mall,

165
00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:39,084
and then your buddy
jumps out of the trunk

166
00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:40,965
and, boom, tags you. You're it.

167
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:42,128
Here's the craziest part.

168
00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:44,715
Our buddy, Jerry, never been tagged.

169
00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:48,348
What do you mean he's never been tagged?
You never put your hand on his body?

170
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:50,645
Not during the month of May.
For like, 3O years.

171
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:53,724
Why don't you just go over to his house
and tag him?

172
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,772
- It's not that easy.
- Why not?

173
00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:57,443
Because...

174
00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:02,991
Well, for starters,
because he's so freaking fast.

175
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:05,659
You just can't catch him.

176
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:08,580
Yeah,
and if you do manage to catch him,

177
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:12,501
then he goes feral and turns into
some kind of crazy wild animal.

178
00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:19,458
And if you manage
to trap the wild animal,

179
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,794
he still finds a way.

180
00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:25,922
What just happened there?

181
00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:28,300
To this day, I have no idea. No idea.

182
00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:32,433
He's the best that ever played. Yeah.

183
00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:35,018
And now, he wants to retire
with a perfect record,

184
00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:39,194
make us all look like fools. Fools!

185
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,150
He gets very excited.

186
00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:43,439
There he is.

187
00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:46,033
Wait. You're not leaving.

188
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:47,360
Look, Ms. Crosby, I apologize.

189
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,325
I will have someone from my office
reach out to you.

190
00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:51,156
We will reschedule this
as soon as I'm back in town.

191
00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:52,578
Nope.

192
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:55,164
- Nope?
- No. Change of plan.

193
00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:56,335
I'm coming with you.

194
00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:57,958
This is a story.

195
00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,039
What? No.

196
00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:01,216
Yes. This is the coolest game ever.

197
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,634
I don't think that's gonna be her angle.

198
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:04,256
I don't know what my angle is,

199
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:07,089
but I do find it very interesting
that we live in a world

200
00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,015
where grown men take an entire month

201
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:10,558
out of every year
to play a child's game.

202
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:13,766
It's very interesting.
You're right. Let's go.

203
00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:16,351
I don't think she means interesting
in a good way.

204
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,149
- Get in, Bob.
- Fine! Fuck it, I'm going.

205
00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:43,750
All right, it's all ready for you, Dad.

206
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:48,926
Hey! Thank you. Thank you.

207
00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:53,264
I'll be honest with you.
Ever since my wife died,

208
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:56,062
you've really been the rock
holding me down.

209
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:02,856
So thank you.

210
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,446
Well, I appreciate that.
I really do.

211
00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,194
But your wife is not dead.

212
00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:10,152
Well, she's dead to me.

213
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:12,488
What?

214
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,368
Yeah.

215
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,575
- That's right.
- That's right.

216
00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:18,285
Listen to me.

217
00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:22,539
"To live in the past is
to die in the present."

218
00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:23,748
Now, who said that?

219
00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:26,376
- You did.
- Bill Belichick said that!

220
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,052
God love him. Yes, sir.

221
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,596
All right, I'm gonna get us more weed.

222
00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:30,672
God bless you, son.

223
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:33,720
Damn, that was fast!

224
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:40,682
- Hey!
- Hey, Anna.

225
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:42,893
- Hey, Chilli. How are you?
- Good, nice to see you.

226
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,102
What are you doing here?

227
00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:46,654
I was... I was walking by

228
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:50,655
and thought I'd pop in
and say hi to you and Roger.

229
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:52,235
Yeah, we're doing great. Where's Hoagie?

230
00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:55,614
Um... He's, um...
You know...

231
00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:59,122
- Shit!
- Hogan's in, the library.

232
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:02,082
Is it... Dad, what month is it?

233
00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:04,126
May.

234
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:07,083
You're not getting by me.

235
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:11,421
Anna, are you okay?

236
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:13,423
He's loose! He's loose!

237
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:14,507
Fuck it.

238
00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:15,592
Hogan, honey, he's coming.

239
00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:20,222
He's heading down the east stairwell.

240
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,814
- Hey. Hogan!
- Hey, Chilli!

241
00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:30,899
I haven't seen you in a while, man.
How's everything?

242
00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:32,734
- Pretty good. Yeah, what about you?
- Good, yeah.

243
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:34,364
Everything's good, man. Yeah, work.
I mean, I'm going through that divorce.

244
00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:36,321
- You sure?
- But, everything's fine. It's fine.

245
00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:39,286
Hey, also, side note.
Stop bringing your wife into this, man.

246
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,663
That's bullshit.
She's way too intense for the game.

247
00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:43,541
You're just jealous
'cause she's such a badass.

248
00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:46,039
She's my secret weapon.
Kind of worked 'cause you're trapped.

249
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,549
- Am I trapped?
- Yeah.

250
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,254
I am?

251
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,052
Damn you, Chilli!

252
00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:01,809
Jesus, Chilli!

253
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:03,185
That's trash!

254
00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:17,412
Fuck me!

255
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:19,489
Hey, Martin!

256
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,038
Hi. Sorry.

257
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,092
Excuse me, Mrs. Martin.
Coming through.

258
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:41,018
'SWFY. sorry, sorry.

259
00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:43,013
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

260
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:47,397
My God! I'm so sorry.
So sorry. Wow. Okay.

261
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,897
Get him, Andy!

262
00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:56,700
Good, Andy, good!

263
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:04,204
Ho, ho, ho, ho.

264
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,207
Chilli, Chilli, Chilli...

265
00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:11,166
Chilli! No, no, no!

266
00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:26,181
Fuck!

267
00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:28,065
You okay, buddy?

268
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,315
Just great. Great.

269
00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:34,693
You ain't getting me today, man.
I'm not losing.

270
00:13:34,772 --> 00:13:35,898
There's only one problem, Chilli.

271
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:37,984
On, yeah? What's that?

272
00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:39,820
I'm not it.

273
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:42,329
The fuck you mean,
you're not it?

274
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:43,580
I am, motherfucker!

275
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:50,038
- It! Come on. Get up.
- Goddamn!

276
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:51,296
- You all right?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

277
00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:52,919
You took a pretty big hit there. My God.

278
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,296
Yeah, I thought I got away.

279
00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:57,174
- Set him up. Knock him down.
- My God!

280
00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:58,254
- Good idea.
- All right, fair and square.

281
00:13:58,338 --> 00:13:59,339
- I'm it, right?
- Yes.

282
00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:00,469
And now you're it.

283
00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:02,846
- Whoa. Nope.
- Yeah.

284
00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:04,393
Nope. I'm not taking it.

285
00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:05,641
No, I'm not. No!

286
00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:07,100
- No.
- We're not... No!

287
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:08,310
Guys, we're too old for...

288
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:12,025
No, don't start hitting. God.

289
00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:14,524
No, no, you're it.
I don't know who is it.

290
00:14:15,438 --> 00:14:17,486
- You're it. You're it.
- Guys, guys!

291
00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:19,738
- This is ridiculous.
- Son of a bitch! You sack punched me!

292
00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:21,490
- Well, you punched me!
- You sack punched him?

293
00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:22,949
Yeah, you went crazy, and now you're it.

294
00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:24,113
- Sorry.
- Okay, I'm it.

295
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:25,699
Truce, truce, truce.

296
00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:26,783
Deal.

297
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,334
This isn't about us anyway.

298
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:31,663
This is the year we get Jerry.

299
00:14:31,746 --> 00:14:33,373
- We're not gonna get Jerry.
- He said the same thing.

300
00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:35,879
No, no. I said the same thing.
We got a plan, all right?

301
00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:39,921
Guys! Guys, let's go.

302
00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:42,466
She's so intense, man.
She takes it too far.

303
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:44,801
You know what? If it wasn't for me,
you guys would be day drunk,

304
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,261
playing mini-golf with 12-year-olds.

305
00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:49,018
Let's go. I know where Sable is.
Get in the car, ladies.

306
00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:50,724
Yeah, we're going right to the airport,
so grab a bag, grab a...

307
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:52,935
- A toothbrush or whatever.
- I'm good. Let's go.

308
00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:54,273
- Really?
- Wow!

309
00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:55,478
- That's gross.
- Well, he's gung-ho. That's good.

310
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:57,234
Hey, Rebecca,
we're gonna go get Sable now.

311
00:14:57,772 --> 00:14:58,819
Who is Sable?

312
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,454
I know you think
she's not cheating on me.

313
00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:07,081
But what about the possibility

314
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,459
of her knowing that I'm following her
to Pilates class,

315
00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:11,582
and on the days
when it's not Pilates class,

316
00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:15,040
that's when she has all the free time
to ride random dick.

317
00:15:16,791 --> 00:15:18,634
Okay, riding dicks.

318
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:21,929
Kevin, you're really focused
on other dicks.

319
00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:24,557
But what about yours? What about you?

320
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:26,054
If you don't focus on the other dicks,

321
00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:28,762
those dicks will plug up
the places you wanna go.

322
00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:33,351
What about mentally
going into each of those holes

323
00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:38,397
and unplugging every one of those dicks.
Pulling out, pulling out, pulling out.

324
00:15:39,063 --> 00:15:41,486
And then you have a clear mind.
Dickless.

325
00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:44,824
Well, I'm paranoid
that my original paranoia

326
00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:46,370
might turn on my paranoia.

327
00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:49,032
It sounds like there are
some fundamental trust issues.

328
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:50,791
You can't trust anybody.

329
00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:52,289
I don't think anyone's out to get you.

330
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:53,995
I don't think anyone is following you.

331
00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:55,170
Stop!

332
00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:56,247
I can't take it anymore.

333
00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:58,879
I can't take it. I can't listen to this.

334
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:00,042
Are you shushing me?

335
00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:05,464
What the fuck?

336
00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,351
- Wow!
- How are you?

337
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:10,394
- Doctor!
- You're there.

338
00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:12,396
Hi, Hogan. Nice to meet you.

339
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:13,689
Bob Callahan. How do you do?

340
00:16:13,764 --> 00:16:15,232
- Sorry, this is a terrible idea.
- Who are you?

341
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:16,685
We're friends of Sable's.

342
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:19,646
We thought it'd be really funny
to hide in there,

343
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,652
but then we overheard way too much.

344
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:24,325
Yeah, buddy, you're clearly
going through a lot of shit.

345
00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:25,819
All right, get here, man.

346
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:28,405
And, um, also, you're it, so...

347
00:16:28,571 --> 00:16:31,074
I don't care. I miss you.
How are you, buddy? Good to see you.

348
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:32,625
- I'm good.
- Yup.

349
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,077
- Now you're it.
- I know. I know. I'm it.

350
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,629
Anyway, yeah, we came to get you,
so come on.

351
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:37,955
- Sable. Come on.
- Come on.

352
00:16:38,789 --> 00:16:40,917
I got 40 minutes left in the session.

353
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,298
- So what? This is important.
- Yeah.

354
00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:46,430
Pack your bags. We're going home.

355
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,634
I don't have my bags here.

356
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,010
- Yeah, we know.
- Obviously.

357
00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:52,094
- For fuck's sake.
- I know that. It's just--

358
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:53,521
We will go by your house
and get your stuff.

359
00:16:53,596 --> 00:16:55,018
You should've just went to my house
in the first place

360
00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:56,098
if we were gonna go to my house anyway.

361
00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:58,150
- This seemed like a better idea.
- It was a whole bit! Let's go.

362
00:16:58,226 --> 00:16:59,569
Yeah, come on, we'll figure it out.

363
00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:01,112
Okay, you'll still owe me for this hour.

364
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:02,188
Thanks, Doctor.

365
00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:04,273
You guys aren't taking
my mental health seriously.

366
00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:30,675
Look at those little assholes.

367
00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:33,306
- Calm down.
- It's awful to be back.

368
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:34,603
It's gonna be fun.

369
00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:58,999
It still smells the same.

370
00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:03,541
...Here we go.

371
00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:10,006
All right!

372
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:24,645
Okay, yeah.

373
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:29,155
Yeah, it's still there.

374
00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:31,406
Guys, we're back in the war room.

375
00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:33,738
You know what that means.

376
00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:35,243
No, I don't know what that means.

377
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:38,334
It means we're going to war, Sable.
Now, just to be clear,

378
00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:41,834
we're not gonna tag Jerry
at the actual wedding ceremony

379
00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:44,506
because, frankly,
that would make us giant assholes.

380
00:18:44,582 --> 00:18:46,004
I'm sorry. I thought that was
the whole point of this.

381
00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:48,962
I took two weeks unpaid vacation
for that exact reason.

382
00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:50,592
- Two weeks?
- Yeah.

383
00:18:50,755 --> 00:18:52,302
I'm going zip-lining after this.

384
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:55,594
Okay. There's gonna be plenty of time
to get him before the ceremony.

385
00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:56,973
There's a rehearsal dinner.

386
00:18:57,053 --> 00:19:00,933
There's a luncheon, photo shoot.
Just don't worry. We're gonna get him.

387
00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:03,393
Very official plan. Who wants to smoke
some weed with me? Sable!

388
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:04,602
I'll take a toke.

389
00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:06,395
What?

390
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:11,076
Yeah, I've been, you know,
experimenting with pot recently.

391
00:19:11,192 --> 00:19:13,035
Mostly medicinal, but hey.

392
00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:17,199
I've wanted to get high with you
my entire life, Hogan.

393
00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:19,499
- Honestly.
- Let's do it.

394
00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:21,373
- This is the best gift of all time.
- Okay.

395
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:25,748
This is exactly how I imagined it,
by the way.

396
00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:29,919
Hoagie's mom.

397
00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:33,590
I've got pizza rolls
for my pizza roll boys.

398
00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:35,516
Ooh. Pizza rolls.

399
00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:40,562
Is that marijuana I smell?

400
00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:45,442
No. What?

401
00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:48,650
It's my pot. I'm really sorry.
I was smoking pot. It's an old habit.

402
00:19:48,813 --> 00:19:51,487
So it's your weedie.

403
00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:55,199
I think I'm getting a contact high.

404
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,362
- _Qkay.
- _

405
00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:59,078
Hits me deep. Below the belt, you know.

406
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,958
I've got a belt upstairs.

407
00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:03,040
I use it on naughty little boys.

408
00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:07,168
What the fuck is going on?

409
00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,045
I hope you don't hurt those boys.

410
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,552
I don't mean to.

411
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:14,384
It was really nice speaking with you.
Thank you for the pizza rolls.

412
00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:18,552
Mom, stop flirting with Chilli.

413
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:21,597
Linda, have you seen Jerry lately?

414
00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:23,355
I mean, do you still play tennis
with his mom?

415
00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:24,891
Because we need to find him
before the wedding,

416
00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:26,066
and we've got no clues.

417
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,023
I don't even talk to her.
I never see her at the club.

418
00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:31,655
But I'm thrilled for Jerry.
Susan is such a nice girl.

419
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,825
- We just need the information.
- Yeah, we need to find him. Yeah.

420
00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:36,111
Have you taken the guys
over to the Sandpiper?

421
00:20:36,277 --> 00:20:40,453
Lou does nothing but talk about you
and the old days and Jerry.

422
00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:42,867
You know, I think he's lonely.

423
00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:45,456
Okay, that's not helpful. But it...

424
00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:46,620
My God!

425
00:20:46,787 --> 00:20:48,289
Lou knows everything
going on in this town.

426
00:20:48,456 --> 00:20:50,333
Guys, we're going to the Sandpiper.

427
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:53,386
I don't wanna go to the Sandpiper.
I'm having a great time here.

428
00:20:53,544 --> 00:20:55,638
I miss this basement.
We don't have any more beer.

429
00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:57,093
Let's go to the Sandpiper.

430
00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:10,644
Lou!

431
00:21:11,437 --> 00:21:13,735
Gentlemen! And ladies.

432
00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:17,323
How are you guys?
Hey, we have new summer stouts on draft.

433
00:21:17,485 --> 00:21:19,908
Lou, we don't give a shit about summer
stouts. We're just looking for Jerry.

434
00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:22,615
Ooh, I hate to be the bearer
of bad tidings, Anna,

435
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,284
but you are technically
still banned from here.

436
00:21:25,534 --> 00:21:26,581
- HOAGIEI What? Still?
- What?

437
00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:28,037
It was dollar margarita night, Lou.

438
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:29,372
Hey, I don't make the rules.

439
00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:30,664
Fuck you, Lou.

440
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:34,385
You know something about Jerry.
I can see it in your eyes, you rat fuck.

441
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,800
I don't know where Jerry is.

442
00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:38,179
Fuck you. Tell us.

443
00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:42,218
I'm sorry, Lou. I'm so sorry.

444
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:44,303
How are you'? How's your mom?

445
00:21:44,470 --> 00:21:45,722
- Fantastic.
- That's good.

446
00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:47,057
- Fit as a fiddle.
- Tell her I said hi.

447
00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:48,140
I will, for sure.
She'll love hearing that.

448
00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:49,316
And fuck you.
I don't wanna be in this bar anyway.

449
00:21:49,391 --> 00:21:50,768
- Okay, okay.
- We're gonna wait outside.

450
00:21:50,935 --> 00:21:53,654
Look forward to catching up with y'all.
Whoo!

451
00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:56,448
Listen, I'll tell you everything
you need to know about Jerry

452
00:21:56,607 --> 00:22:00,908
if you tag me just one time.
It is all I ask. I will spill.

453
00:22:01,070 --> 00:22:02,322
Why Can't I tag you?

454
00:22:03,447 --> 00:22:05,996
Because I'm not officially in the game.

455
00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:07,205
What's the good word, Lou?

456
00:22:07,368 --> 00:22:09,541
We don't stop playing
'cause we grow old.

457
00:22:09,703 --> 00:22:11,705
We grow old because we stop playing.

458
00:22:11,872 --> 00:22:13,340
You are not part of this game.

459
00:22:13,499 --> 00:22:14,500
Benjamin Franklin.

460
00:22:14,583 --> 00:22:16,176
- Lou.
- Yeah?

461
00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:17,336
Where's Jerry?

462
00:22:17,795 --> 00:22:19,092
I'm afraid I can't help you out
with that, boys.

463
00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:20,882
- Really?
- Yeah, you see,

464
00:22:21,048 --> 00:22:22,675
Jerry and I struck a little deal.

465
00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:25,846
I say nothing about his whereabouts,
and then I get to play tag next year.

466
00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:27,604
- Jerry made that deal with you?
- Yeah.

467
00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:30,266
And I am unbreakable, boys.

468
00:22:30,432 --> 00:22:32,730
Cannot penetrate this Iron Curtain.

469
00:22:32,893 --> 00:22:35,271
The vault is closed.

470
00:22:35,646 --> 00:22:38,445
Well, Lou, that is a real shame because
I was gonna introduce you to Rebecca,

471
00:22:38,607 --> 00:22:42,077
who is writing an article about tag
for The Wall Street Journal.

472
00:22:42,152 --> 00:22:43,369
How cool is that?

473
00:22:43,445 --> 00:22:44,617
- So cool.
- Isn't that exciting?

474
00:22:44,697 --> 00:22:46,916
Is there any way
that Lou could be in your article?

475
00:22:47,074 --> 00:22:48,075
Yeah.

476
00:22:48,242 --> 00:22:49,368
Right? It's an interesting angle, right?

477
00:22:49,535 --> 00:22:51,913
Probably has to be a story
for that to happen, right?

478
00:22:51,996 --> 00:22:53,919
What do you mean,
there has to be a story?

479
00:22:54,957 --> 00:22:56,504
Well, I mean, no Jerry, no story.

480
00:22:56,667 --> 00:22:58,044
You need Jerry for the story?

481
00:22:58,210 --> 00:22:59,928
Could you imagine that thing
printed out here, framed?

482
00:23:00,004 --> 00:23:01,722
- Hanging on the wall? With this guy?
- Yeah.

483
00:23:01,797 --> 00:23:03,014
Which will get published everywhere.
Everyone will see.

484
00:23:03,173 --> 00:23:04,846
- Nationally.
- Don't you wanna be in the article?

485
00:23:05,009 --> 00:23:06,977
Yeah, dude.
I would love to be in an article.

486
00:23:07,553 --> 00:23:08,850
Well, we're not gonna break
Fort Knox here.

487
00:23:09,013 --> 00:23:10,105
Fuck, man. All right.

488
00:23:10,264 --> 00:23:11,982
- I was really excited about that story.
- Good to see you, buddy.

489
00:23:12,141 --> 00:23:13,893
- Good luck, man.
- Look, look, look.

490
00:23:17,021 --> 00:23:18,273
My mom talked to his mom,

491
00:23:18,439 --> 00:23:21,693
and she said that the rehearsal
is at the Deer Creek Country Club.

492
00:23:21,859 --> 00:23:23,031
- Deer Creek.
- There it is.

493
00:23:23,193 --> 00:23:25,070
Anyways, the name is Louis Seibert.
That's S-E-I-B...

494
00:23:25,237 --> 00:23:27,410
- I'll remember that. Thank you.
- She's got a great memory.

495
00:23:27,907 --> 00:23:29,079
Big Lou, thank you, buddy.

496
00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:30,788
- Thank you.
- Yeah, you bet.

497
00:23:32,995 --> 00:23:34,588
Hello, Ms. Rollins?

498
00:23:34,747 --> 00:23:36,875
This is Margaret from
the Deer Creek Country Club.

499
00:23:37,041 --> 00:23:39,715
I'm just calling to let you know
we won't be able to refund your deposit

500
00:23:39,877 --> 00:23:42,255
since you canceled the rehearsal
on such short notice.

501
00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:44,594
- SUSAN". What? My God.
- I think you have a mistake here.

502
00:23:44,757 --> 00:23:46,475
We didn't cancel
the reception.

503
00:23:46,634 --> 00:23:50,935
I'm afraid we have unfortunately booked
something else in that time slot now.

504
00:23:51,221 --> 00:23:53,315
- A quinceafiera.
- A quinceafiera.

505
00:23:53,474 --> 00:23:55,397
- A what?
- The fuck's a quinceafiera?

506
00:23:55,559 --> 00:23:57,061
A celebration of womanhood.

507
00:23:57,227 --> 00:23:58,444
It's a celebration of womanhood.

508
00:23:58,604 --> 00:24:00,151
- This is bullshit.
- My God!

509
00:24:00,314 --> 00:24:01,531
We're coming to the club right now.

510
00:24:34,515 --> 00:24:35,562
Hello?

511
00:24:38,644 --> 00:24:40,066
Hello?

512
00:24:44,024 --> 00:24:45,025
Hello, boys.

513
00:24:46,860 --> 00:24:47,861
Who is it?

514
00:24:48,779 --> 00:24:49,780
I am.

515
00:24:50,990 --> 00:24:52,412
Callahan approaches
from the left.

516
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:57,288
Engage no-contact protocol.

517
00:24:59,123 --> 00:25:01,000
No hand shall touch my body.

518
00:25:06,714 --> 00:25:10,560
JERRY". Mental note. Bob slapped Hoagie
with his hand. Hoagie is now it.

519
00:25:14,471 --> 00:25:15,472
Chilli.

520
00:25:16,432 --> 00:25:18,309
He dives at me in a pussy-like fashion.

521
00:25:19,268 --> 00:25:21,236
Poor planning. Poor execution.

522
00:25:24,398 --> 00:25:25,445
Piece of cake.

523
00:25:26,525 --> 00:25:27,651
I head for the door to escape.

524
00:25:27,818 --> 00:25:29,070
Sable blocks it.

525
00:25:29,695 --> 00:25:31,242
It's showtime.

526
00:25:34,324 --> 00:25:37,203
Hoagie has tagged Sable.
He is now fair game.

527
00:25:39,329 --> 00:25:40,376
I speedbag him.

528
00:25:56,847 --> 00:25:58,440
Jerry! You okay?

529
00:26:00,559 --> 00:26:01,981
I've never been better.

530
00:26:02,770 --> 00:26:04,772
Welcome home, boys!

531
00:26:07,691 --> 00:26:08,988
Hey, who's this with you?

532
00:26:09,151 --> 00:26:11,995
This is Rebecca. She's a reporter.

533
00:26:12,071 --> 00:26:13,163
Very famous.

534
00:26:13,238 --> 00:26:15,536
Did they, mention that
I haven't been tagged in 30 years

535
00:26:15,699 --> 00:26:17,042
'cause they suck at this game?

536
00:26:17,117 --> 00:26:18,164
Extensively.

537
00:26:18,243 --> 00:26:19,665
Never been tagged. Just saying.

538
00:26:19,828 --> 00:26:20,875
I can't believe you would rather

539
00:26:20,954 --> 00:26:22,706
not invite your closest friends
to your wedding

540
00:26:22,873 --> 00:26:23,999
than risk getting tagged.

541
00:26:24,166 --> 00:26:27,386
Hey, Bob, look, you're here, ain't you?
Right? I knew you'd come.

542
00:26:27,461 --> 00:26:28,963
Cookie, the valet needs the keys.

543
00:26:29,129 --> 00:26:30,722
Hi, baby. Come here, honey. Come here.

544
00:26:30,881 --> 00:26:32,758
We didn't invite you.

545
00:26:32,925 --> 00:26:34,973
- Yeah. Sorry.
- Guys.

546
00:26:35,135 --> 00:26:36,808
This is Susan, my soon-to-be-bride.

547
00:26:36,970 --> 00:26:38,563
- Hi. Nice to meet you, Susan.
- Hey.

548
00:26:38,722 --> 00:26:39,848
- Hi.
- She'll explain why.

549
00:26:40,015 --> 00:26:43,110
It's just...
I know it sounds really crazy.

550
00:26:43,268 --> 00:26:46,442
It's just, everyone on my mother's side
have had May weddings,

551
00:26:46,605 --> 00:26:49,108
and I don't want
my wedding ruined over...

552
00:26:49,316 --> 00:26:52,536
I swear, I don't wanna be that woman,

553
00:26:52,778 --> 00:26:57,329
but I do feel like that woman is kind
of understandable in this situation.

554
00:26:57,407 --> 00:26:59,501
Don't make excuses, baby.
You don't have to. Come on.

555
00:26:59,660 --> 00:27:01,583
Look, I already broke a fucking window.
What are we gonna do here, guys?

556
00:27:04,248 --> 00:27:05,795
- Amendment.
- Amendment.

557
00:27:05,958 --> 00:27:07,050
Amendment. All right. Get in here.

558
00:27:07,209 --> 00:27:08,756
Truce. Truce, bitches.

559
00:27:10,462 --> 00:27:13,181
No tag at the rehearsal.
No tag at the luncheon.

560
00:27:13,340 --> 00:27:16,810
No tag at the dinner. And do not
even mention tag at the ceremony.

561
00:27:16,969 --> 00:27:18,971
Ceremony.

562
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:20,852
- We got it.
- Thank you.

563
00:27:21,014 --> 00:27:22,140
No way, I'm not signing this.

564
00:27:22,307 --> 00:27:23,775
You're officially re-not invited.
How's that?

565
00:27:23,934 --> 00:27:24,935
Okay, then fine.

566
00:27:25,102 --> 00:27:26,649
I'll crash your fucking wedding,

567
00:27:26,728 --> 00:27:28,230
and I'll tag you
as you try to kiss your bride.

568
00:27:28,313 --> 00:27:29,656
Hey, hey, hey-

569
00:27:29,815 --> 00:27:31,192
Look, Susan.
You seem like a lovely person,

570
00:27:31,358 --> 00:27:33,076
and I'm sure this will all be fine.

571
00:27:33,235 --> 00:27:36,739
We just need to formalize it, something
we've been doing a long time and...

572
00:27:37,948 --> 00:27:39,621
Sign it.

573
00:27:41,285 --> 00:27:42,286
What the...

574
00:27:42,828 --> 00:27:44,626
"No mention of tag is..."

575
00:27:44,788 --> 00:27:46,540
- Ridiculous.
- It's unreasonable.

576
00:27:46,707 --> 00:27:47,879
Thank you, GUYS-

577
00:27:47,958 --> 00:27:49,631
Here.

578
00:27:50,836 --> 00:27:52,213
All right, boys.

579
00:27:55,340 --> 00:27:56,683
- All right.
- So good to see you, Bob.

580
00:27:56,842 --> 00:27:59,061
You know what? Don't touch me when
we're on a truce. It's very patronizing.

581
00:27:59,219 --> 00:28:00,892
Yeah, it's a little weird for me, too.

582
00:28:00,971 --> 00:28:03,474
Well, it was really nice
meeting everyone,

583
00:28:03,557 --> 00:28:07,312
and I look forward to getting to know
you guys better this weekend and just...

584
00:28:07,394 --> 00:28:10,318
I don't know. I've just dreamt
about this day my whole life, so...

585
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,232
- Congrats, Susan. We're happy for you.
- It's gonna be great.

586
00:28:12,399 --> 00:28:13,400
Thank you.

587
00:28:13,483 --> 00:28:14,484
It's really good to see you, boys.

588
00:28:14,776 --> 00:28:15,777
Cheers.

589
00:28:17,654 --> 00:28:18,655
Six tequilas, please.

590
00:28:22,618 --> 00:28:23,995
- To Jerry.
- Wait.

591
00:28:27,122 --> 00:28:29,750
So, boys, how did it go?

592
00:28:29,917 --> 00:28:31,009
- Not good.
- So bad.

593
00:28:31,168 --> 00:28:32,920
So, so bad.

594
00:28:33,003 --> 00:28:35,756
Did you guys just sign away
your chance to tag him?

595
00:28:35,839 --> 00:28:40,515
Yeah, but we're still okay
because non-wedding times are fair game.

596
00:28:40,677 --> 00:28:41,974
We just gotta find the right window.

597
00:28:42,054 --> 00:28:43,431
- What happened?
- He kicked our ass.

598
00:28:43,555 --> 00:28:45,728
- Well, technically, he punched my ass.
- Punched your ass.

599
00:28:45,807 --> 00:28:46,933
- Repeatedly.
- Hard.

600
00:28:47,017 --> 00:28:48,610
Well, according to the bylaws,
that is highly illegal.

601
00:28:48,769 --> 00:28:50,988
Except he didn't hit my asshole,

602
00:28:51,146 --> 00:28:52,443
-so it's legal.
- It's legal.

603
00:28:52,606 --> 00:28:54,199
Okay, what are you talking about?

604
00:28:54,524 --> 00:28:55,821
Here.

605
00:28:55,984 --> 00:28:57,201
Page...

606
00:28:57,361 --> 00:28:59,034
Yes! Right there.

607
00:28:59,655 --> 00:29:00,952
No asshole punching.

608
00:29:01,114 --> 00:29:05,335
Why would you play a game where
you're constantly punched in the ass?

609
00:29:06,745 --> 00:29:07,746
Fair question, Rebecca.

610
00:29:07,913 --> 00:29:08,914
Beep. I'll take this.

611
00:29:09,039 --> 00:29:12,259
Tag is more than a game.
It's a way of life.

612
00:29:12,417 --> 00:29:13,509
No, buddy.

613
00:29:13,669 --> 00:29:15,967
That's exactly right. You nailed it.

614
00:29:16,129 --> 00:29:18,257
Facial disgracial.

615
00:29:18,423 --> 00:29:19,766
Okay, Lou, thank you.

616
00:29:19,925 --> 00:29:22,348
We'll take it from here....

617
00:29:22,511 --> 00:29:23,558
But he's exactly right.

618
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:25,017
It's so much more than a game.

619
00:29:25,180 --> 00:29:27,933
Say I'm LeVar Burton.
Say I'm LeVar Burton.

620
00:29:28,100 --> 00:29:30,102
I was there
when Sable lost his virginity.

621
00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:32,187
God damn it, Hoagie!
I was almost finished!

622
00:29:32,354 --> 00:29:33,355
Get over here!

623
00:29:33,438 --> 00:29:36,282
And Callahan was there
when Anna and I had our first child.

624
00:29:37,859 --> 00:29:40,612
Congratulations, buddy.
You're it. Doing great, Anna.

625
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:43,578
And all the guys were there
for me when my father died.

626
00:29:43,740 --> 00:29:47,461
I think your dad would have
really wanted you to be

627
00:29:47,619 --> 00:29:49,792
it in this moment.

628
00:29:52,207 --> 00:29:53,459
This game,

629
00:29:53,542 --> 00:29:56,512
it's given us a reason to be
in each other's lives all these years.

630
00:29:56,670 --> 00:29:59,844
The last it from each season
will live in shame for one year.

631
00:30:00,007 --> 00:30:01,805
- So what happens if you lose?
- You lose.

632
00:30:01,883 --> 00:30:03,135
- You're it.
- What does the winner get?

633
00:30:03,302 --> 00:30:05,725
There are no winners. Just not losers.

634
00:30:05,887 --> 00:30:09,767
I would love to sit here and deconstruct
the spirit of competition with everyone,

635
00:30:09,933 --> 00:30:11,276
but Jerry's still on the loose,

636
00:30:11,435 --> 00:30:12,732
and we've got to get him where it hurts.

637
00:30:12,894 --> 00:30:14,896
- Not in the asshole.
- Not in the asshole. Obviously.

638
00:30:15,063 --> 00:30:16,736
Guys, let's go to his house.

639
00:30:16,898 --> 00:30:18,275
He wouldn't be at his house.
It's too obvious.

640
00:30:18,442 --> 00:30:21,366
Yeah, it's too obvious,
so he's gonna be there. This is Jerry.

641
00:30:21,528 --> 00:30:24,953
Maybe it's so obvious that
it's not obvious that he will be there.

642
00:30:25,115 --> 00:30:26,913
- So he's at the house.
- He's not gonna be there.

643
00:30:27,075 --> 00:30:30,420
If he's there, then it'll be obvious
for him to be there,

644
00:30:30,579 --> 00:30:31,671
so he wouldn't be there

645
00:30:31,830 --> 00:30:34,709
because he would think that we would
automatically come there, obviously.

646
00:30:35,167 --> 00:30:36,168
What?

647
00:30:36,251 --> 00:30:37,423
You know what? One way to find out.

648
00:30:37,586 --> 00:30:38,587
Let's go.

649
00:30:38,712 --> 00:30:39,759
It'll be obvious to...

650
00:30:39,921 --> 00:30:41,173
Come on!

651
00:30:58,565 --> 00:31:00,158
It's locked.

652
00:31:06,907 --> 00:31:08,124
What do you see?

653
00:31:08,283 --> 00:31:09,284
It's nice.

654
00:31:09,451 --> 00:31:12,546
There's lot of attention to detail,
but not too overdone.

655
00:31:12,704 --> 00:31:15,378
Well, can you just unlock it?

656
00:31:17,626 --> 00:31:18,843
This is breaking and entering.

657
00:31:19,002 --> 00:31:21,096
No, it doesn't count
if you know the person.

658
00:31:22,756 --> 00:31:24,224
That is not true.

659
00:31:25,092 --> 00:31:27,971
"Did you guys really think
I would be home?"

660
00:31:30,055 --> 00:31:31,056
Feels like a trap.

661
00:31:31,223 --> 00:31:32,691
All right, let's split up.
We'll cover more ground.

662
00:31:32,849 --> 00:31:33,850
No, that's a terrible idea.

663
00:31:34,017 --> 00:31:35,519
He'll never expect it.

664
00:31:35,685 --> 00:31:37,528
Now help me out of the door, please.

665
00:31:40,816 --> 00:31:42,944
Jerry!

666
00:31:43,944 --> 00:31:45,821
He's gotta be here.

667
00:31:48,073 --> 00:31:50,576
Have you ever even been here before?

668
00:31:56,873 --> 00:31:57,920
Ooh.

669
00:31:58,667 --> 00:31:59,759
Deviled eggs.

670
00:32:01,128 --> 00:32:03,096
Delicious. These go fast.

671
00:32:10,971 --> 00:32:12,097
What the fuck?

672
00:32:12,722 --> 00:32:13,814
Man.

673
00:32:15,308 --> 00:32:17,151
Whoa.

674
00:32:17,227 --> 00:32:18,979
Jerry got chloroform?

675
00:32:19,146 --> 00:32:22,992
What the fuck? He has stepped it up.

676
00:32:23,150 --> 00:32:26,996
Aerial maps of the city.
Bunch of blueprints.

677
00:32:27,154 --> 00:32:29,782
Five different hats? Wow.

678
00:32:30,407 --> 00:32:32,580
People change.

679
00:32:40,208 --> 00:32:41,710
Did you...

680
00:32:42,502 --> 00:32:43,503
I didn't do anything.

681
00:32:53,221 --> 00:32:56,771
Who is that scampering around my house?

682
00:32:56,933 --> 00:32:59,982
Hello, boys, did you really think
I'd go home?

683
00:33:00,145 --> 00:33:01,442
- You idiots.
- I knew it.

684
00:33:01,605 --> 00:33:03,699
- It's too obvious.
- Yep.

685
00:33:03,857 --> 00:33:05,359
I mean, that's just a lucky guess.

686
00:33:05,525 --> 00:33:06,526
Okay, Jerry, where are you?

687
00:33:06,693 --> 00:33:07,740
You know, seeing you guys tonight

688
00:33:07,903 --> 00:33:09,951
made me wanna take a walk down
memory lane.

689
00:33:10,489 --> 00:33:11,490
Ta-da!

690
00:33:11,656 --> 00:33:12,999
- Is that your...
- That's my bedroom.

691
00:33:13,158 --> 00:33:14,831
You're at my parents' house.
Why are you at my parents' house?

692
00:33:14,993 --> 00:33:16,336
It's a little smaller than I remember.

693
00:33:16,495 --> 00:33:17,997
You broke into my house!

694
00:33:18,163 --> 00:33:19,460
We broke into his house.

695
00:33:19,623 --> 00:33:21,250
Yeah, we broke into your house.

696
00:33:21,416 --> 00:33:22,963
JERRY". Hey, hey! Look who I found, Hoag.

697
00:33:23,668 --> 00:33:25,170
Hoagie, I miss you so much!

698
00:33:25,337 --> 00:33:26,714
What are you doing with Mr. Stubbles?

699
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:28,052
This little guy
got you through

700
00:33:28,131 --> 00:33:29,383
a lot of troubles in life, didn't he?

701
00:33:29,549 --> 00:33:30,926
All right, Jerry.

702
00:33:32,844 --> 00:33:34,596
Let's see where this one goes.

703
00:33:34,763 --> 00:33:37,141
Mr. Stubbles has something to say.
What was that?

704
00:33:37,307 --> 00:33:40,151
He says that his skin's very dry.
It needs to be moisturized.

705
00:33:40,310 --> 00:33:42,984
Jerry, put down Mr. Stubbles.
So help me God.

706
00:33:44,689 --> 00:33:45,906
What's happening here?

707
00:33:46,066 --> 00:33:48,489
I think he's about to masturbate
in Hoagie's childhood bedroom.

708
00:33:48,652 --> 00:33:50,325
No.

709
00:33:50,487 --> 00:33:52,410
It's the ultimate act of dominance.

710
00:33:52,572 --> 00:33:54,165
I'm gonna stay here until you come.

711
00:33:55,242 --> 00:33:56,915
Unless I come first.

712
00:33:58,370 --> 00:33:59,371
You sly dog.

713
00:34:02,541 --> 00:34:04,009
- Go! Go! Go!
- Did you get him?

714
00:34:04,167 --> 00:34:05,919
- Start the car!
- I started it. I started it.

715
00:34:06,086 --> 00:34:07,258
Everybody put their seat belts on.

716
00:34:07,420 --> 00:34:08,763
Go! Go! Go!

717
00:34:08,922 --> 00:34:10,424
- Everybody in.
- Hold on.

718
00:34:10,590 --> 00:34:12,433
Is everybody in?

719
00:34:16,137 --> 00:34:18,765
This is gonna be nice and smooth,
Mr. Stubbies.

720
00:34:18,932 --> 00:34:20,730
This isn't gonna hurt whatsoever.

721
00:34:20,892 --> 00:34:23,441
Stay put. We're coming for you.
We're coming for you.

722
00:34:23,603 --> 00:34:26,823
Yeah, but hurry up! Daddy, hurry up!

723
00:34:26,982 --> 00:34:28,734
Mr. Stubbles is not into you.
He can't be into you.

724
00:34:28,900 --> 00:34:31,073
He's not a sexual being, okay?
So put him down!

725
00:34:37,993 --> 00:34:39,495
Hey, team.

726
00:34:46,084 --> 00:34:49,258
Jerry, how are you in my room right now?

727
00:34:49,379 --> 00:34:50,676
We're all in my room.

728
00:34:50,755 --> 00:34:54,350
No, of course I'm not there. I'm here.
In my basement.

729
00:34:54,676 --> 00:34:55,677
Where are you guys?

730
00:34:55,844 --> 00:34:58,017
Are you fucking kidding me?

731
00:34:58,179 --> 00:35:01,149
He built a replica
of your bedroom in his basement?

732
00:35:01,308 --> 00:35:02,651
Good night, gentlemen.

733
00:35:11,401 --> 00:35:13,824
Amateurs.

734
00:35:15,238 --> 00:35:16,285
Let's begin. Um...

735
00:35:16,781 --> 00:35:19,034
So kind of a rough start.

736
00:35:19,159 --> 00:35:22,129
That was pretty standard, actually.
Yeah, Jerry's extreme.

737
00:35:22,287 --> 00:35:25,086
The masturbation was fake,
but the pleasure was real.

738
00:35:25,248 --> 00:35:27,876
I mean, I've said it before,
but we're not gonna tag him because,

739
00:35:28,418 --> 00:35:30,762
you know, he's better at tag
than us.

740
00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:32,843
I'm obviously going to be the one
that tags Jerry.

741
00:35:33,006 --> 00:35:36,260
I've been working
with this Japanese guy. Sensei.

742
00:35:36,426 --> 00:35:38,929
He knows zero karate.

743
00:35:39,095 --> 00:35:41,814
He doesn't know karate.
He's claiming to know karate?

744
00:35:43,767 --> 00:35:45,394
He doesn't know karate.
I don't think he knows karate.

745
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:48,609
Well, then what does he call it when
I roundhouse kicked him in 10th grade?

746
00:35:48,772 --> 00:35:51,070
Callahan and Chilli did get in a
huge fight sophomore year of high school

747
00:35:51,232 --> 00:35:56,113
and Callahan did just tag Chilli
with a beautiful roundhouse kick.

748
00:35:56,279 --> 00:35:59,829
But in Chilli's defense, when Callahan
kicked him...

749
00:35:59,991 --> 00:36:01,243
He shit in his pants!

750
00:36:01,409 --> 00:36:03,161
Yeah, okay, that never happened.

751
00:36:03,328 --> 00:36:06,423
And it's nice to actually get
an opportunity to address it directly.

752
00:36:06,581 --> 00:36:07,753
By all means. I'm all ears.

753
00:36:07,916 --> 00:36:11,261
I mean, I was very sweaty.
It was warm out.

754
00:36:11,461 --> 00:36:15,511
The sweaty ass defense?
He's been banging that drum for years.

755
00:36:15,674 --> 00:36:17,597
Hottest October on record, if I recall.
Look it up.

756
00:36:17,759 --> 00:36:19,181
Wall Street Journal,
you have fact checkers

757
00:36:19,260 --> 00:36:20,728
for this exact scenario, right?

758
00:36:20,804 --> 00:36:22,772
Yeah.

759
00:36:22,847 --> 00:36:24,815
While you're at it,
can you have the fact checkers look into

760
00:36:24,974 --> 00:36:27,898
if The Maury Povich Show is staged?
'Cause it feels staged,

761
00:36:28,061 --> 00:36:30,029
but he swears it's not staged.

762
00:36:30,188 --> 00:36:32,737
But they do the exact same thing
every time.

763
00:36:33,608 --> 00:36:34,951
What?

764
00:36:49,457 --> 00:36:53,837
Sable, I know where
Jerry's gonna be. I need the tag.

765
00:36:57,465 --> 00:37:00,594
Yeah. Just picked up the tux.

766
00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:01,977
All right, see you soon, babe.

767
00:37:03,304 --> 00:37:05,306
Hey, Rob, how're you doing, bud?
Good to see you.

768
00:37:05,473 --> 00:37:06,690
You, too, man.

769
00:37:07,100 --> 00:37:08,818
Gloria, ma'am.

770
00:37:08,977 --> 00:37:10,194
- My balloon!
- Whoa!

771
00:37:10,979 --> 00:37:12,981
Hey, this must be yours, buddy.

772
00:37:13,148 --> 00:37:14,149
Thanks, mister.

773
00:37:14,315 --> 00:37:15,407
Look at that.
You gonna eat that whole thing?

774
00:37:16,276 --> 00:37:18,370
You know what? You should consider
some alternative snacks.

775
00:37:18,737 --> 00:37:20,705
Keeping fitness fun, buddy.

776
00:37:28,413 --> 00:37:30,256
Excuse me, ma'am.

777
00:37:30,415 --> 00:37:32,292
You dropped your...

778
00:37:33,793 --> 00:37:35,420
Men's athletic crossover-style boot,

779
00:37:35,587 --> 00:37:37,134
size nine and a half.

780
00:37:37,630 --> 00:37:39,473
Suggests a man
that is neither fashionable

781
00:37:40,008 --> 00:37:41,430
nor athletic.

782
00:37:41,593 --> 00:37:42,594
Hoagie.

783
00:37:52,979 --> 00:37:54,151
JERRY". Little does Hoagie know

784
00:37:54,314 --> 00:37:57,033
I've been teaching a women's
self-defense boot camp for six years.

785
00:37:57,942 --> 00:37:59,159
First defense 101.

786
00:37:59,319 --> 00:38:00,616
Class is in session.

787
00:38:10,830 --> 00:38:11,956
Holy shit!

788
00:38:52,330 --> 00:38:53,502
- You're done, Hoagie.
- Never!

789
00:38:53,665 --> 00:38:54,666
You're done.

790
00:38:54,833 --> 00:38:55,834
Never!

791
00:38:58,127 --> 00:39:00,095
All right, I'm done.

792
00:39:00,171 --> 00:39:02,924
Dude, you look amazing, by the way.
You've really upped your game!

793
00:39:03,091 --> 00:39:04,764
How'd you know I was gonna be here?

794
00:39:04,843 --> 00:39:06,436
Aha! Surprised you, right?

795
00:39:07,053 --> 00:39:08,851
I saw the pick-up ticket for your tailor

796
00:39:08,930 --> 00:39:10,022
when we broke into your house
the other night.

797
00:39:13,017 --> 00:39:14,018
Impressive.

798
00:39:14,185 --> 00:39:15,482
I'm taking you down, Jerry.

799
00:39:15,645 --> 00:39:17,522
Well, we both know
that's never gonna happen.

800
00:39:17,689 --> 00:39:19,657
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Coming through. Excuse me.

801
00:39:19,816 --> 00:39:21,944
Boy. Cavalry's coming in.

802
00:39:22,110 --> 00:39:23,532
Hey, Jerry.

803
00:39:23,695 --> 00:39:25,117
This old lady bothering you?

804
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:27,703
I'm good, Marvin. Thanks, man.
Everything's all right.

805
00:39:27,866 --> 00:39:29,083
It's just a friend of mine.

806
00:39:29,242 --> 00:39:30,459
Hey, it's good to see you.
Looking good, brother.

807
00:39:30,577 --> 00:39:32,625
- My man.
- Yeah, staying in shape.

808
00:39:34,289 --> 00:39:35,962
What the fuck?

809
00:39:36,124 --> 00:39:38,252
All right, well, maybe
I'll call the police. All right?

810
00:39:38,418 --> 00:39:40,386
This is assault.
You willing to go to jail for this?

811
00:39:40,962 --> 00:39:42,635
You're goddamn right, lam.

812
00:39:43,298 --> 00:39:48,395
Okay, then maybe I will cause
a big scene and get arrested also.

813
00:39:48,553 --> 00:39:51,056
Then, once we both get to jail,
I'll just...

814
00:39:51,222 --> 00:39:52,348
What? Bribe a guard?

815
00:39:52,432 --> 00:39:54,935
Be put in my cell? Yeah, I figured
you'd say that. It's pretty obvious.

816
00:39:55,101 --> 00:39:57,149
Hoag, you have to realize
that's gonna take hours,

817
00:39:57,312 --> 00:39:58,564
during which time

818
00:39:58,730 --> 00:40:00,448
I'll have fashioned
a shiv from my toothbrush

819
00:40:00,523 --> 00:40:01,945
and used it to murder my cellmate.

820
00:40:02,108 --> 00:40:03,234
You'd just shiv your cellmate?

821
00:40:03,401 --> 00:40:05,870
Don't worry. He's a bad person
who's done terrible things,

822
00:40:06,029 --> 00:40:07,030
so justice is served.

823
00:40:08,364 --> 00:40:10,332
It gets me thrown in solitary
confinement, which is what I want.

824
00:40:10,700 --> 00:40:13,670
Out of reach. Completely untaggable.

825
00:40:13,828 --> 00:40:15,296
Damn, you have thought this through.

826
00:40:16,915 --> 00:40:18,132
Pretty good, right?

827
00:40:18,499 --> 00:40:20,172
Look, understand two things, Hoagie.

828
00:40:21,252 --> 00:40:23,050
First, you're not gonna screw up
this wedding. Okay?

829
00:40:23,212 --> 00:40:26,216
And secondly,
I will never let you tag me.

830
00:40:26,382 --> 00:40:28,601
You're gonna die before that ever
happens. You understand that, right?

831
00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:32,310
I don't fear death, Jerry.
And I'm not gonna give this up

832
00:40:32,472 --> 00:40:33,598
till I die.

833
00:40:34,057 --> 00:40:36,310
Okay. Good luck.

834
00:40:45,902 --> 00:40:47,904
See you at the rehearsal, Jerry.

835
00:40:53,326 --> 00:40:56,546
These hushpuppies are insane.

836
00:40:56,621 --> 00:40:57,622
All right, listen.

837
00:40:57,705 --> 00:41:01,960
T-minus 34 minutes until this rehearsal
dinner is over, and Jerry's fair game.

838
00:41:02,043 --> 00:41:04,762
There's four of us. There's four exits.
Let's fan out and trap this rat.

839
00:41:04,921 --> 00:41:06,173
Okay? Synchronize your watches.

840
00:41:06,339 --> 00:41:08,137
- I don't know how to do that.
- I don't wear a watch.

841
00:41:08,299 --> 00:41:10,176
Time is a construct.

842
00:41:11,094 --> 00:41:12,937
Okay, 5:00.

843
00:41:13,096 --> 00:41:14,723
Could have said that at the beginning.

844
00:41:15,264 --> 00:41:16,265
Well, we said it now.

845
00:41:16,432 --> 00:41:18,935
- OO, how hard is that?
- 5:00, yeah, it's easy.

846
00:41:19,102 --> 00:41:21,070
- Hi, guys. How are you?
- How are you?

847
00:41:21,229 --> 00:41:22,606
Sorry about the other night.
That wasn't...

848
00:41:22,772 --> 00:41:23,898
Yeah, that wasn't cool.

849
00:41:24,065 --> 00:41:26,193
No. I mean, listen,
I know it's not just you guys.

850
00:41:26,359 --> 00:41:28,407
I mean, Jerry's worse than all of you.

851
00:41:28,569 --> 00:41:30,162
He's very competitive.

852
00:41:30,321 --> 00:41:31,538
When we were kids, we had a contest

853
00:41:31,698 --> 00:41:34,201
to see who could hold their breath
for the longest underwater.

854
00:41:34,826 --> 00:41:36,373
He almost died.

855
00:41:36,452 --> 00:41:39,205
He won, but at what cost? Really?

856
00:41:39,288 --> 00:41:43,384
I hope he's this competitive
when it comes to being a father.

857
00:41:44,460 --> 00:41:45,461
Are you pregnant?

858
00:41:46,045 --> 00:41:48,173
- Really?
- Yeah, that's why the Shirley Temple.

859
00:41:48,339 --> 00:41:49,636
- My gosh!
- I know.

860
00:41:49,799 --> 00:41:51,096
- Here, cheers!
- Congratulations, that's great!

861
00:41:51,259 --> 00:41:52,385
- Cheers, thank you!
- My gosh!

862
00:41:52,552 --> 00:41:53,849
- That's such good news.
- Thank you. Yeah.

863
00:41:54,012 --> 00:41:55,889
- We're not telling that many people.
- Okay.

864
00:41:56,055 --> 00:41:58,023
Listen, I know
it's gonna get a little wacky

865
00:41:58,182 --> 00:41:59,684
over the next couple of days
with you guys.

866
00:41:59,851 --> 00:42:01,524
- Sure the fuck is, yeah.
- Okay.

867
00:42:01,602 --> 00:42:04,105
Just don't go too far

868
00:42:04,188 --> 00:42:07,488
and go out there and play golf.
It's amazing. Do something fun.

869
00:42:07,567 --> 00:42:10,070
- Okay? Okay. Bye, guys.
- See you.

870
00:42:10,153 --> 00:42:12,531
I like her.
She has a beautiful personality.

871
00:42:12,697 --> 00:42:14,574
Very effervescent. Good energy.
Good vibes.

872
00:42:14,699 --> 00:42:16,167
Don't believe a word
she fucking says.

873
00:42:16,325 --> 00:42:17,622
She's a hired hand. She's an actress.

874
00:42:17,827 --> 00:42:19,625
- What?
- I mean, look at this son of a bitch.

875
00:42:19,787 --> 00:42:21,664
- This is Colonel Sanders in the flesh.
- That's, like, her uncle.

876
00:42:21,831 --> 00:42:23,879
- It's the fucking Truman Show.
- Will you stop?

877
00:42:23,958 --> 00:42:26,302
The whole thing. Jerry set it up.
I guarantee it.

878
00:42:26,377 --> 00:42:28,129
Every single person here has been hired.

879
00:42:28,212 --> 00:42:29,589
You have gotta calm down.

880
00:42:29,672 --> 00:42:32,676
Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm his wife.

881
00:42:33,885 --> 00:42:36,104
Jerry, is that Cheryl Deakins?

882
00:42:41,934 --> 00:42:43,231
Yeah. Good. Hey!

883
00:42:43,770 --> 00:42:44,942
- You invited her?
- Yeah, of course.

884
00:42:45,104 --> 00:42:46,105
What?

885
00:42:46,272 --> 00:42:47,990
What? We're all old friends.

886
00:42:48,649 --> 00:42:49,650
Makes sense.

887
00:42:49,817 --> 00:42:51,034
I'm not buying this.

888
00:42:54,238 --> 00:42:55,239
Is that...

889
00:42:55,406 --> 00:42:57,033
Cheryl Deakins.

890
00:42:57,200 --> 00:42:58,247
You know she was coming, Bob?

891
00:42:58,576 --> 00:43:00,419
- I did not.
- I didn't either.

892
00:43:00,578 --> 00:43:01,579
She looks good.

893
00:43:01,746 --> 00:43:03,339
- Great. She always does.
- Yeah.

894
00:43:04,082 --> 00:43:05,334
Wow!

895
00:43:05,500 --> 00:43:07,628
Who is Cheryl Deakins?

896
00:43:07,794 --> 00:43:10,638
Is she like the Yoko or something?

897
00:43:10,797 --> 00:43:12,344
I don't get that reference,

898
00:43:12,507 --> 00:43:15,351
but she's someone whose presence
causes strain on our group.

899
00:43:15,885 --> 00:43:17,603
We've known her since grade school.

900
00:43:19,263 --> 00:43:22,608
She was the first girl that Chilli
and Callahan had a crush on.

901
00:43:23,226 --> 00:43:25,900
When we were kids,
Cheryl was into Chilli,

902
00:43:26,187 --> 00:43:28,690
much to Callahan's chagrin.

903
00:43:28,856 --> 00:43:31,075
But young love is unpredictable.

904
00:43:31,234 --> 00:43:34,204
Later that same year, she decided
she was into Callahan,

905
00:43:34,487 --> 00:43:36,785
much to Chilli's chagrin.

906
00:43:37,490 --> 00:43:40,710
But she always had
a place in her heart for Chilli.

907
00:43:49,127 --> 00:43:50,800
And this went on for decades.

908
00:43:50,962 --> 00:43:53,135
And all of a sudden,
she just married an orthodontist.

909
00:43:55,341 --> 00:43:56,593
They get all the chicks.

910
00:43:56,676 --> 00:43:57,677
What?

911
00:43:57,760 --> 00:43:59,228
How long has it been
since you've seen her?

912
00:43:59,387 --> 00:44:01,139
About 10 years for me. How about you?

913
00:44:01,764 --> 00:44:02,981
Same, I guess.

914
00:44:04,433 --> 00:44:05,901
- Been a while.
- Sure has.

915
00:44:05,977 --> 00:44:07,820
You sneaky trickster.

916
00:44:07,979 --> 00:44:10,778
She looks amazing, and you know it.
Think about this.

917
00:44:10,940 --> 00:44:14,319
What if Cheryl ended up getting back
together with our boy?

918
00:44:14,485 --> 00:44:15,782
- Chilli?
- Callahan?

919
00:44:15,945 --> 00:44:17,071
Obviously.

920
00:44:17,155 --> 00:44:18,372
- Wait. What?
- Duh.

921
00:44:18,531 --> 00:44:19,953
- Did you say Chilli?
- You're Team Callahan?

922
00:44:20,116 --> 00:44:21,993
- Yeah!
- We've been married all this time,

923
00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:23,503
and you think she should end up
with Callahan?

924
00:44:23,661 --> 00:44:26,005
Of course. Wait, you think Chilli?

925
00:44:26,164 --> 00:44:28,633
Wait, do you know those guys at all?

926
00:44:28,916 --> 00:44:30,213
Who are you right now?

927
00:44:30,293 --> 00:44:31,294
- What?
- You're freaking me out.

928
00:44:31,377 --> 00:44:32,378
I feel like I don't even know you.

929
00:44:32,503 --> 00:44:33,925
You're like this foreign person.

930
00:44:36,549 --> 00:44:38,222
Do you want me to be a foreign person?

931
00:44:38,759 --> 00:44:39,760
What?

932
00:44:40,595 --> 00:44:41,972
Here? Right now?

933
00:44:42,054 --> 00:44:43,476
Because, um...

934
00:44:43,556 --> 00:44:45,604
I just got lost
on the way to bibliothéque,

935
00:44:45,766 --> 00:44:47,985
and I don't know
where all my other French friends are.

936
00:44:48,144 --> 00:44:49,191
Chantelle is here?

937
00:44:49,353 --> 00:44:50,570
Chantelle is here with...

938
00:44:50,730 --> 00:44:51,731
My God!

939
00:44:55,067 --> 00:44:56,819
Honey, it's almost 5:00.

940
00:44:57,653 --> 00:44:59,200
Keep your head in the game.

941
00:44:59,363 --> 00:45:00,364
You're so good.

942
00:45:00,531 --> 00:45:01,953
Come on, we'll go to the bathroom
for five minutes.

943
00:45:02,116 --> 00:45:03,117
All right.

944
00:45:03,284 --> 00:45:04,536
It's crazy.

945
00:45:04,702 --> 00:45:06,704
- Hey, you should go talk with her.
- No, you should go.

946
00:45:06,871 --> 00:45:07,963
Neither of you should.

947
00:45:08,664 --> 00:45:10,382
- Thanks.
- You're welcome. Neither one.

948
00:45:10,625 --> 00:45:11,922
Shut up, Sable.

949
00:45:12,001 --> 00:45:13,378
No, honestly, it should be you, Bob.

950
00:45:13,544 --> 00:45:15,091
No, I think she really
wants to talk to you

951
00:45:15,171 --> 00:45:18,095
'cause I think girls really like,
you know,

952
00:45:18,257 --> 00:45:21,431
depressed guys that still have a name
for their bong.

953
00:45:25,556 --> 00:45:26,728
Get a good one.

954
00:45:29,310 --> 00:45:30,732
This is gonna go great.

955
00:45:31,604 --> 00:45:32,696
Thank you.

956
00:45:32,855 --> 00:45:34,573
All right, good advice.

957
00:45:36,192 --> 00:45:37,193
Good luck.

958
00:45:38,569 --> 00:45:40,196
Tell her I said hi.

959
00:45:44,533 --> 00:45:45,534
Cheryl Deakins.

960
00:45:46,244 --> 00:45:47,712
Chilli Cilliano.

961
00:45:48,037 --> 00:45:49,209
How'd you know it was me?

962
00:45:49,372 --> 00:45:52,216
I'd know that faint smell of sativa
and Old Spice anywhere.

963
00:45:52,375 --> 00:45:54,127
Yeah. I had to get a little stoned.

964
00:45:54,293 --> 00:45:56,216
I can't be sober at these things.
They're awful.

965
00:45:57,380 --> 00:45:58,927
That was the wrong choice, man.

966
00:45:59,298 --> 00:46:00,299
What?

967
00:46:00,466 --> 00:46:04,471
Neither of you should have gone,
but if one of you should have went,

968
00:46:04,637 --> 00:46:05,980
then it should have been you.

969
00:46:06,347 --> 00:46:07,644
How many wines have you had?

970
00:46:09,350 --> 00:46:11,853
How many legs does an octopus have?

971
00:46:12,770 --> 00:46:13,817
Well, eight.

972
00:46:16,607 --> 00:46:19,986
I see that you've been
rejecting fashion trends

973
00:46:20,152 --> 00:46:22,951
and haircuts and maybe hygiene.
I respect that.

974
00:46:23,114 --> 00:46:27,585
Well, I think respect is the key to the
beginning of rebuilding a friendship.

975
00:46:27,702 --> 00:46:29,955
- Is that a saying? Maybe?
- Yeah, sure. Who said that?

976
00:46:30,121 --> 00:46:33,295
I don't know. I wanna hear
about this husband of yours.

977
00:46:34,292 --> 00:46:38,172
What's the story?
Is he still charming, sensible, rich?

978
00:46:38,713 --> 00:46:40,511
No. Dead.

979
00:46:40,965 --> 00:46:42,763
Yeah, same with me.

980
00:46:42,925 --> 00:46:44,723
Dead to me. Divorced.

981
00:46:45,636 --> 00:46:49,482
No, I mean he's "dead" dead.
He actually died.

982
00:46:49,932 --> 00:46:51,024
He's dead?

983
00:46:51,934 --> 00:46:53,106
For real?

984
00:46:54,687 --> 00:46:56,860
Yeah, he, um...

985
00:46:56,939 --> 00:46:59,488
He died in a car crash.
We were separated already.

986
00:46:59,567 --> 00:47:00,944
You already separated.

987
00:47:01,277 --> 00:47:02,904
- Yeah.
- And now he's dead. He's gone.

988
00:47:03,070 --> 00:47:04,162
- He's gone.
- Officially.

989
00:47:04,322 --> 00:47:06,916
Act a little more upset about it.

990
00:47:07,074 --> 00:47:09,577
I know, but, anyway, how are you?
How's your life?

991
00:47:09,702 --> 00:47:13,923
Great. I lost my business. Divorced.
Playing tag competitively.

992
00:47:14,081 --> 00:47:15,128
Pretty much rock bottom.

993
00:47:15,291 --> 00:47:17,589
- Are you trying to make me horny?
- Fuck yes, lam.

994
00:47:17,668 --> 00:47:19,045
-'Cause it's happening.
- It is?

995
00:47:19,128 --> 00:47:21,222
Yeah.

996
00:47:22,465 --> 00:47:23,967
So have you tried the hushpuppies,
or what?

997
00:47:24,050 --> 00:47:25,427
What do you think they're talking about?

998
00:47:27,303 --> 00:47:29,431
I don't know, and I don't want
you to worry about it.

999
00:47:29,597 --> 00:47:30,723
We've got 15 minutes.

1000
00:47:30,890 --> 00:47:35,316
Chilli, I think about you
all the time, Chilli.

1001
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:38,943
Yeah? But what about
Callahan? He's so handsome.

1002
00:47:39,106 --> 00:47:41,359
He's very handsome,
but he's a selfish lover

1003
00:47:41,525 --> 00:47:42,822
with a small dick.

1004
00:47:43,069 --> 00:47:44,070
Really?

1005
00:47:44,153 --> 00:47:45,496
Plus he sobs after he comes.

1006
00:47:45,654 --> 00:47:47,031
Okay.

1007
00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:48,240
Wow.

1008
00:47:48,407 --> 00:47:50,910
It's okay, Callahan.
It's nothing to be ashamed of.

1009
00:47:50,993 --> 00:47:52,620
Okay, you know what?
You guys are all 12-year-olds.

1010
00:47:52,703 --> 00:47:53,704
Chilli.

1011
00:47:53,788 --> 00:47:56,462
Hey, Cheryl, I want to reconnect.

1012
00:47:56,791 --> 00:48:00,091
Yeah.

1013
00:48:00,169 --> 00:48:01,671
- What's happening now?
- Bob!

1014
00:48:01,837 --> 00:48:04,932
Yeah, I'm just...
I'm just feeling the vibes.

1015
00:48:05,049 --> 00:48:08,474
I mean, who wants to have sex
with a guy named Bob?

1016
00:48:08,636 --> 00:48:11,606
"Bob." Just doesn't sound right.
"Bob."

1017
00:48:11,764 --> 00:48:12,981
- "Bob."
- "on, Bob."

1018
00:48:13,140 --> 00:48:15,234
- "Bob. Bob, Bob."
- "Robert."

1019
00:48:15,309 --> 00:48:16,401
"Bob."

1020
00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:17,937
I wasn't gonna text you, you know?

1021
00:48:18,104 --> 00:48:19,401
I didn't wanna mess with you
when you were married.

1022
00:48:19,563 --> 00:48:21,156
No, I think that's nice. Respectful.

1023
00:48:21,315 --> 00:48:22,612
If I knew he was dead,
I would have texted right away.

1024
00:48:22,775 --> 00:48:23,776
All right. Okay.

1025
00:48:23,943 --> 00:48:26,366
- No! Please don't leave on that!
- No, it's fine.

1026
00:48:26,529 --> 00:48:28,372
We're good. We're good.
I'm just gonna use the ladies' room.

1027
00:48:28,489 --> 00:48:29,490
- I'll see you later.
- Okay.

1028
00:48:29,573 --> 00:48:30,574
- It's nice to see you.
- It's great to see you.

1029
00:48:30,783 --> 00:48:31,784
You too.

1030
00:48:36,038 --> 00:48:37,039
Widowed.

1031
00:48:54,682 --> 00:48:56,104
Cheryl Deakins.

1032
00:48:56,642 --> 00:48:58,019
What are you doing here?

1033
00:48:58,185 --> 00:48:59,186
And where are the urinals?

1034
00:48:59,728 --> 00:49:00,980
Probably in the men's room.

1035
00:49:02,356 --> 00:49:04,233
- You haven't changed a bit.
- Thank you.

1036
00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:05,743
No, that was not a compliment.

1037
00:49:05,901 --> 00:49:07,778
Well, I have matured.

1038
00:49:07,945 --> 00:49:09,288
Have you? Really?

1039
00:49:09,447 --> 00:49:11,870
Because this old move where you
follow me into the bathroom,

1040
00:49:12,032 --> 00:49:13,454
it's exactly what you did
atjunior prom.

1041
00:49:13,617 --> 00:49:15,961
It was a good move then,
and it's a good move now.

1042
00:49:16,370 --> 00:49:17,713
Marginally nicer bathroom.

1043
00:49:18,497 --> 00:49:19,498
Do you wanna get a drink?

1044
00:49:19,582 --> 00:49:21,129
Actually, I think
I'm gonna head home.

1045
00:49:21,292 --> 00:49:22,384
Can I give you a ride?

1046
00:49:23,002 --> 00:49:24,379
- Sure.
- Great.

1047
00:49:24,795 --> 00:49:25,887
Right after we have that drink.

1048
00:49:26,046 --> 00:49:27,514
I see what you did there.

1049
00:49:31,719 --> 00:49:35,144
Okay, guys. It's almost go time.
ls everybody in position? Over.

1050
00:49:35,514 --> 00:49:37,437
Sable is in position.

1051
00:49:39,393 --> 00:49:40,986
- Chilli!
- Yeah. Let's get him.

1052
00:49:41,145 --> 00:49:44,240
HOAGIE". Callahan. Callahan,
do you read me? Over.

1053
00:49:46,275 --> 00:49:48,528
Callahan. Where are you, buddy?

1054
00:49:51,489 --> 00:49:52,911
Callahan!

1055
00:49:53,073 --> 00:49:55,292
We got an unguarded exit, okay?

1056
00:49:55,951 --> 00:49:56,952
Hi.

1057
00:49:57,703 --> 00:49:59,250
Callahan!

1058
00:50:06,212 --> 00:50:07,384
Go! Go! Go! Go!

1059
00:50:07,463 --> 00:50:08,464
Go!

1060
00:50:08,631 --> 00:50:10,178
Not today, motherfucker!

1061
00:50:12,426 --> 00:50:14,099
Hey, thanks for coming. Appreciate it.

1062
00:50:19,391 --> 00:50:20,483
GO! Go!

1063
00:50:20,643 --> 00:50:22,896
Come and get it, bitches!

1064
00:50:24,730 --> 00:50:26,482
- Get in! Get in!
- We're close. We're close.

1065
00:50:26,649 --> 00:50:28,026
Go!

1066
00:50:42,331 --> 00:50:43,708
- Hold on! Hold on!
- Go, go!

1067
00:50:45,292 --> 00:50:47,260
Go faster! Go faster!

1068
00:50:47,336 --> 00:50:48,713
Giddy up!

1069
00:50:49,797 --> 00:50:51,094
We're coming for you!

1070
00:50:52,841 --> 00:50:54,843
Go, Hoagie, go!

1071
00:51:00,516 --> 00:51:01,517
Jesus!

1072
00:51:03,894 --> 00:51:04,986
Incoming!

1073
00:51:06,564 --> 00:51:07,690
- Son of a bitch!
- Come on!

1074
00:51:07,773 --> 00:51:09,241
CHILLII Go! Go!

1075
00:51:10,651 --> 00:51:12,028
God, I wish I had my gun here.

1076
00:51:12,194 --> 00:51:14,322
There are so many good birds to shoot.

1077
00:51:15,948 --> 00:51:17,291
So this is a vacation for you?

1078
00:51:17,449 --> 00:51:21,420
Yeah. I mean, some couples go
on cruises. Some couples go camping.

1079
00:51:21,579 --> 00:51:25,379
Some couples go to strip clubs
and have gangbangs,

1080
00:51:25,541 --> 00:51:27,293
and this is just what we do.
This is what we love.

1081
00:51:27,459 --> 00:51:28,881
This is our gangbang.

1082
00:51:29,712 --> 00:51:32,056
You know, it seems to me like
you'd be really good at the game.

1083
00:51:32,214 --> 00:51:33,215
- Why don't you play?
- Well,

1084
00:51:33,382 --> 00:51:36,352
they came up with the rules
when they were nine. No girls allowed.

1085
00:51:36,844 --> 00:51:39,688
And to be honest, I can get a little

1086
00:51:39,763 --> 00:51:42,607
overly aggressive
and competitive sometimes.

1087
00:51:42,766 --> 00:51:44,439
Come on, Jerry.
You're dead meat!

1088
00:51:44,643 --> 00:51:46,270
Yeah, kick his ass!

1089
00:51:46,437 --> 00:51:48,155
Keep your eyes downfield!

1090
00:51:48,314 --> 00:51:49,782
Cut across the fourth fairway!

1091
00:51:49,940 --> 00:51:51,783
Don't fuck this up!

1092
00:51:52,026 --> 00:51:53,619
Yeah. Well.

1093
00:51:54,987 --> 00:51:57,536
I have to show you
pictures of our kids.

1094
00:51:59,742 --> 00:52:00,914
Go, go, go!

1095
00:52:02,870 --> 00:52:03,917
Get him, Hoagie. Get him!

1096
00:52:04,079 --> 00:52:05,251
Hold on. Hold on.

1097
00:52:06,248 --> 00:52:08,216
Hoagie, stop!

1098
00:52:09,084 --> 00:52:11,553
- Hoagie, what are you doing?
- I can't see!

1099
00:52:20,471 --> 00:52:23,190
Wh00!

1100
00:52:24,933 --> 00:52:25,934
Everybody good?

1101
00:52:26,018 --> 00:52:28,567
I'm fine. I'm fine.

1102
00:52:30,522 --> 00:52:31,774
Well, that happened.

1103
00:52:31,857 --> 00:52:33,404
Onward.

1104
00:52:34,902 --> 00:52:35,903
Let's get him.

1105
00:52:35,986 --> 00:52:37,238
Whoo! That was invigorating.

1106
00:52:47,331 --> 00:52:50,050
on.

1107
00:52:50,209 --> 00:52:53,304
That is psychological warfare
right there.

1108
00:52:54,046 --> 00:52:55,047
That's impressive.

1109
00:52:55,214 --> 00:52:56,261
Yeah, that's a good move.

1110
00:52:56,423 --> 00:52:57,800
Good one, Jen!

1111
00:53:01,553 --> 00:53:02,554
There he is!

1112
00:53:04,181 --> 00:53:05,433
Hello, boys.

1113
00:53:08,143 --> 00:53:09,941
What?

1114
00:53:10,521 --> 00:53:11,522
What the...

1115
00:53:11,605 --> 00:53:12,902
How's he doing this?

1116
00:53:13,065 --> 00:53:14,157
All right, Jerry, stop!

1117
00:53:14,316 --> 00:53:15,568
He's multiplying!
It's happening!

1118
00:53:15,734 --> 00:53:16,735
- What the fuck?
- There's one!

1119
00:53:18,821 --> 00:53:19,822
One is there!

1120
00:53:19,988 --> 00:53:21,114
- Hey!
- What?

1121
00:53:21,490 --> 00:53:22,912
You guys, there's so many.
There's so many!

1122
00:53:23,075 --> 00:53:24,076
What the...

1123
00:53:24,493 --> 00:53:26,495
There he is! I'm coming for you, Jerry!

1124
00:53:26,578 --> 00:53:27,704
Chilli, you're not even it!

1125
00:53:35,921 --> 00:53:37,389
I'm on your ass!

1126
00:53:39,466 --> 00:53:40,467
Come on!

1127
00:53:49,893 --> 00:53:51,691
Shit!

1128
00:53:52,271 --> 00:53:53,397
Shit!

1129
00:54:01,321 --> 00:54:04,040
This is terrible. This is pure bullshit.

1130
00:54:04,199 --> 00:54:05,200
We should not be here.

1131
00:54:05,325 --> 00:54:07,794
This is getting way too extreme.

1132
00:54:07,870 --> 00:54:09,622
I need you to buck up, Sable.

1133
00:54:09,788 --> 00:54:11,040
- Yeah.
- Come on, let's stay focused.

1134
00:54:11,123 --> 00:54:13,797
Yeah, we bucked up
out of the goddamn golf cart.

1135
00:54:18,547 --> 00:54:20,299
You smell that?
Do you smell it?

1136
00:54:20,466 --> 00:54:21,763
It's Jerry. I smell him.

1137
00:54:21,925 --> 00:54:23,017
It's leaves and grass.

1138
00:54:23,969 --> 00:54:25,095
And centipedes.

1139
00:54:25,721 --> 00:54:26,973
Just typical woods stuff.

1140
00:54:27,598 --> 00:54:29,441
He's close.

1141
00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:30,772
I can feel it.

1142
00:54:30,934 --> 00:54:32,151
I can feel something.

1143
00:54:33,812 --> 00:54:34,859
Shit!

1144
00:54:37,524 --> 00:54:39,276
- Jesus! My God!
- Shit.

1145
00:54:39,443 --> 00:54:41,445
- My, God!
- Wow, that's crazy.

1146
00:54:42,654 --> 00:54:45,282
Our friend is a psychopath,
and this is scary.

1147
00:54:46,450 --> 00:54:48,293
He got me. I'm down.

1148
00:54:48,744 --> 00:54:51,088
This is on you now. Come here.

1149
00:54:51,872 --> 00:54:52,919
Let me tag you.

1150
00:54:53,707 --> 00:54:55,300
Come on!

1151
00:54:55,959 --> 00:54:56,960
All right.

1152
00:54:58,337 --> 00:54:59,338
I can see him.

1153
00:54:59,505 --> 00:55:02,850
He's at three o'clock. 50 yards out.

1154
00:55:03,008 --> 00:55:04,760
- Three o'clock. Got it.
- Three o'clock.

1155
00:55:06,678 --> 00:55:07,725
Sable!

1156
00:55:10,724 --> 00:55:12,101
That three o'clock.

1157
00:55:12,267 --> 00:55:14,235
- You didn't say which time zone, man!
- There's no time zones.

1158
00:55:14,394 --> 00:55:16,613
Why didn't you just point
the first time? Next time, just point.

1159
00:55:16,772 --> 00:55:17,944
It's that way. Go!

1160
00:55:18,106 --> 00:55:19,107
- Okay.
- GO, go:

1161
00:55:19,608 --> 00:55:20,609
Go, Sable, go!

1162
00:55:44,508 --> 00:55:46,510
I see you.

1163
00:55:48,387 --> 00:55:50,060
Yeah, motherfucker.

1164
00:55:55,269 --> 00:55:56,270
You're it!

1165
00:56:08,657 --> 00:56:09,874
I don't like that.

1166
00:56:17,291 --> 00:56:18,292
Sleep.

1167
00:56:23,881 --> 00:56:24,882
Sable?

1168
00:56:25,966 --> 00:56:27,218
Sable?

1169
00:56:41,690 --> 00:56:43,033
What happened?

1170
00:56:43,108 --> 00:56:44,325
Well, you got chloroformed.

1171
00:56:44,401 --> 00:56:46,028
Chloroformed? What?

1172
00:56:46,111 --> 00:56:47,909
Bob took our car,
and now we're in a Lyft.

1173
00:56:47,988 --> 00:56:49,114
We're going to the Sandpiper.

1174
00:56:49,698 --> 00:56:50,699
I don't wanna be it anymore.

1175
00:56:50,866 --> 00:56:52,994
I don't wanna be it.
Hoagie, it's on you, bud.

1176
00:56:53,076 --> 00:56:54,077
Now, what the fuck?

1177
00:56:54,161 --> 00:56:56,414
Wait. I'm confused.
Whatjust happened in there?

1178
00:56:56,580 --> 00:56:59,129
Well, Jerry woke up early,
got some grounds crew

1179
00:56:59,291 --> 00:57:02,261
to go out in the woods, build some
snares and a swinging log trap,

1180
00:57:02,419 --> 00:57:04,968
and, wear matching outfits
to act as decoys.

1181
00:57:05,339 --> 00:57:06,340
Maniac.

1182
00:57:09,092 --> 00:57:10,139
Are you okay?

1183
00:57:10,218 --> 00:57:13,313
Yes, yes. I am. I am... I'm good.

1184
00:57:13,805 --> 00:57:16,479
I am amazed that you're able to stay
so optimistic after all that.

1185
00:57:16,642 --> 00:57:19,145
Well, some have said
I am the heart and soul of the game.

1186
00:57:19,311 --> 00:57:20,528
No, you've said that.

1187
00:57:20,687 --> 00:57:22,064
You're the only person
I've heard say that.

1188
00:57:22,230 --> 00:57:25,985
Well, technically "just me"
fits the legal definition of "some,"

1189
00:57:26,151 --> 00:57:27,778
so suck a dick.

1190
00:57:29,446 --> 00:57:32,416
Well, it seems like the game
has really kept you guys connected.

1191
00:57:32,574 --> 00:57:34,167
- Exactly.
- Well, except Jerry.

1192
00:57:34,326 --> 00:57:35,703
What? Don't say that.

1193
00:57:35,869 --> 00:57:37,371
How often do you see Jerry
outside of tag?

1194
00:57:37,454 --> 00:57:40,378
...Well, not super frequently, but--

1195
00:57:40,540 --> 00:57:43,089
I mean, would you consider that
a close friendship?

1196
00:57:45,796 --> 00:57:47,844
Well, that's kind of a dicky question.

1197
00:57:57,265 --> 00:57:58,312
Thank you.

1198
00:57:59,893 --> 00:58:03,773
All I'm saying is,
Callahan better fucking be here.

1199
00:58:10,112 --> 00:58:11,113
What's up? What?

1200
00:58:11,279 --> 00:58:12,496
Look who decided to show up.

1201
00:58:12,656 --> 00:58:13,999
What? I had a business call
with Beijing.

1202
00:58:14,074 --> 00:58:15,075
Couldn't be helped. I'm sorry.

1203
00:58:15,200 --> 00:58:17,794
Business call with Beijing? It would
have been 8:00 a.m. Saturday out there.

1204
00:58:17,953 --> 00:58:19,955
You doing business calls
at 8:00 a.m. Saturday morning?

1205
00:58:20,122 --> 00:58:21,749
Why do you know so much
about Beijing time zones?

1206
00:58:21,915 --> 00:58:24,759
2008 Olympics. Michael Phelps, baby.

1207
00:58:25,752 --> 00:58:27,550
Fair enough.
Okay, anyway, I have an idea.

1208
00:58:27,713 --> 00:58:28,885
- Anybody want to hear it?
- Yes.

1209
00:58:29,047 --> 00:58:30,924
- What is it?
- Jerry's gym.

1210
00:58:31,383 --> 00:58:32,930
Someone there's gotta know where he is.

1211
00:58:33,093 --> 00:58:35,221
- I like this. That's a good idea.
- Great!

1212
00:58:35,387 --> 00:58:37,230
- Up top! Buckle up, gang!
- Yes! Giddy up!

1213
00:58:37,389 --> 00:58:38,766
- You're it, by the way.
- What's wrong?

1214
00:58:38,932 --> 00:58:40,605
- My fucking knee.
- What's wrong with your knee?

1215
00:58:40,767 --> 00:58:41,768
I got hit by a log.

1216
00:58:41,852 --> 00:58:42,944
You got hit by a log, what?

1217
00:58:43,020 --> 00:58:45,068
We were chasing him. I got hit
by a fucking log. It really hurts.

1218
00:58:45,147 --> 00:58:47,525
I'm gonna go in. Fuck, I'm pissed off
about this, but go.

1219
00:58:47,607 --> 00:58:48,950
You want me to call the pediatrician?

1220
00:58:49,067 --> 00:58:50,444
I'm an adult.
I don't need a pediatrician.

1221
00:58:50,527 --> 00:58:51,528
You're not coming?

1222
00:58:51,611 --> 00:58:53,659
I think I'm gonna slow you down.
Why don't you guys go?

1223
00:58:53,822 --> 00:58:54,994
After the gym, let's meet up.

1224
00:58:55,157 --> 00:58:56,158
All right, fine.

1225
00:58:56,324 --> 00:58:57,325
Trust me, I wanna go, but I just--

1226
00:58:57,492 --> 00:59:00,120
Y'all need a sub? I'm in!

1227
00:59:00,287 --> 00:59:01,834
We're super good, man. Thanks!

1228
00:59:01,913 --> 00:59:03,665
We're good.

1229
00:59:03,832 --> 00:59:06,085
Who's banned now, bitch?

1230
00:59:06,668 --> 00:59:10,138
I'm okay.
All right, guys. Take it easy!

1231
00:59:21,683 --> 00:59:23,481
That knee healed up fast.

1232
00:59:23,643 --> 00:59:25,270
Stay out of this, Lou.

1233
00:59:29,524 --> 00:59:31,492
You saucy devil.

1234
00:59:42,496 --> 00:59:45,875
Hey, there, welcome to Granite Fitness.
Get hard, stay hard.

1235
00:59:46,041 --> 00:59:49,011
Just so you guys know, we're going
to be closing in five short minutes,

1236
00:59:49,169 --> 00:59:51,171
but is there anything
I can help you with?

1237
00:59:51,379 --> 00:59:53,507
Yes, Dave, in fact, there is something
you could help us with.

1238
00:59:53,673 --> 00:59:55,926
How would you like to earn $500?

1239
01:00:03,266 --> 01:00:06,190
Okay, just so you guys know, I'm not
sucking your guys' dicks, all right?

1240
01:00:06,353 --> 01:00:07,980
And I'm not letting you
suck my dick either.

1241
01:00:08,146 --> 01:00:11,116
No one is talking about anyone
sucking anyone's anything.

1242
01:00:11,274 --> 01:00:14,278
You sure about that?
'Cause this guy's eyeing me hard.

1243
01:00:14,653 --> 01:00:15,654
What?

1244
01:00:15,821 --> 01:00:17,073
I'm just saying, man,
you've got that vibe.

1245
01:00:17,155 --> 01:00:18,748
- Yeah?
- Stop it.

1246
01:00:18,907 --> 01:00:20,250
Hey, Sable, seriously. Chill.

1247
01:00:20,408 --> 01:00:21,580
- Just stop it.
- Stop it.

1248
01:00:21,785 --> 01:00:25,460
It's too sexual. You're undressing me,
literally, right now with your eyes.

1249
01:00:25,539 --> 01:00:31,512
Dave. 500 bucks, and all we want
is to know where Jerry is.

1250
01:00:33,130 --> 01:00:36,430
Jerry. Yes, okay, shit.

1251
01:00:36,508 --> 01:00:39,808
He did mention that some people
were gonna swing by looking for him.

1252
01:00:40,053 --> 01:00:42,772
He left a message. Um, yeah.

1253
01:00:42,931 --> 01:00:44,399
Go fuck yourselves.

1254
01:00:44,474 --> 01:00:46,852
Okay, look. $1,000.
All right? Easy money.

1255
01:00:47,018 --> 01:00:48,144
Jerry won't even know
that you sold him out.

1256
01:00:48,311 --> 01:00:50,188
I got a better idea.
Why don't you go back

1257
01:00:50,355 --> 01:00:52,699
to the little Best Western
that you're staying in

1258
01:00:52,858 --> 01:00:54,952
and jerk each other off in the nude?

1259
01:00:55,110 --> 01:00:57,283
Why do you keep taking this conversation
into a sexual direction?

1260
01:00:57,445 --> 01:01:00,540
Listen, Dave. $1,500. Don't be an idiot.

1261
01:01:00,699 --> 01:01:02,872
Not a chance,
you dick-sucking homophobes.

1262
01:01:02,951 --> 01:01:04,248
- Hey!
- What?

1263
01:01:04,494 --> 01:01:05,495
Dave?

1264
01:01:06,621 --> 01:01:07,793
Do you know what we're gonna do?

1265
01:01:07,956 --> 01:01:08,957
What?

1266
01:01:12,586 --> 01:01:14,964
We're gonna waterboard you.

1267
01:01:26,099 --> 01:01:27,601
Don't be a hero, Dave.

1268
01:01:27,767 --> 01:01:29,394
Jerry doesn't give a shit about you.

1269
01:01:31,021 --> 01:01:32,113
So tell us where he is.

1270
01:01:32,564 --> 01:01:33,907
I'm never gonna tell you.

1271
01:01:34,941 --> 01:01:35,988
Last chance, Dave.

1272
01:01:37,819 --> 01:01:41,198
You're not gonna go through with this
for some game, so quit jerking me off!

1273
01:01:43,074 --> 01:01:44,075
Jesus.

1274
01:01:44,242 --> 01:01:45,789
No one's jerking you off, kid,

1275
01:01:45,952 --> 01:01:47,670
'cause Jerry has pushed us
to the fucking edge.

1276
01:01:47,829 --> 01:01:49,923
If you don't tell us
what we need to know,

1277
01:01:49,998 --> 01:01:51,625
you're going over the edge with us.

1278
01:01:51,791 --> 01:01:52,917
You ready to die for this shit?

1279
01:01:53,084 --> 01:01:55,212
I'd rather die than get sucked off
by you homophobes.

1280
01:01:55,378 --> 01:01:58,257
We're not gonna suck you off.
We're gonna waterboard you.

1281
01:01:58,423 --> 01:02:00,300
I'm just taking
a principled stand right now.

1282
01:02:00,467 --> 01:02:02,720
Okay. Well, guess what.
Now, this is gonna happen. All right?

1283
01:02:02,886 --> 01:02:04,638
Are you ready?
I hope you can hold your breath, son!

1284
01:02:04,721 --> 01:02:05,722
Do it!

1285
01:02:05,805 --> 01:02:07,523
'Cause this is going right down!

1286
01:02:07,682 --> 01:02:09,605
- Yeah!
- Yeah! You son of a bitch!

1287
01:02:09,768 --> 01:02:10,860
Here it comes!

1288
01:02:11,019 --> 01:02:12,191
It's coming!
It's coming! It's coming!

1289
01:02:12,354 --> 01:02:14,152
Yeah. You know, we should not.

1290
01:02:14,314 --> 01:02:16,487
I feel like it would be way too much.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

1291
01:02:16,650 --> 01:02:17,697
That got out of hand.

1292
01:02:17,859 --> 01:02:19,532
My heart is beating
really fast right now.

1293
01:02:19,694 --> 01:02:21,788
We were just Kidding.
We were just bluffing.

1294
01:02:21,947 --> 01:02:24,541
- No, we weren't fucking bluffing!
- Anna, Anna, Anna!

1295
01:02:24,699 --> 01:02:26,827
- My God, no. Just, no.
- Sweetheart.

1296
01:02:26,993 --> 01:02:29,837
It's a war crime, right?
It's not really who we are.

1297
01:02:29,996 --> 01:02:30,997
Yes, sorry.

1298
01:02:31,164 --> 01:02:33,041
We got a kinky cat over here.

1299
01:02:33,375 --> 01:02:34,797
- Okay.
- Fuck you, Dave.

1300
01:02:34,960 --> 01:02:36,803
God, I love your passion.

1301
01:02:36,962 --> 01:02:38,589
I'll tell you what.

1302
01:02:40,507 --> 01:02:43,477
I will tell you where Jerry's gonna be

1303
01:02:44,302 --> 01:02:47,977
for $2,000. Cash. American.

1304
01:02:48,139 --> 01:02:49,140
- Okay, fine.
- No problem.

1305
01:02:49,307 --> 01:02:50,650
Why didn't you say that
in the first place?

1306
01:02:50,809 --> 01:02:52,356
Why did you take us
down this whole road?

1307
01:02:52,519 --> 01:02:54,192
Well, it looked like
there was room to negotiate,

1308
01:02:54,271 --> 01:02:55,397
and I was all prepared to do that.

1309
01:02:55,563 --> 01:02:57,736
But then we went down
the whole torture track,

1310
01:02:57,899 --> 01:03:00,994
and I just dug
my heels in, philosophically.

1311
01:03:01,069 --> 01:03:02,696
I happen to be an objector.

1312
01:03:02,779 --> 01:03:05,202
- We are too, obviously.
- Not really.

1313
01:03:05,365 --> 01:03:06,366
It was a bluff.

1314
01:03:06,533 --> 01:03:08,035
You know what?
You should probably not write this down,

1315
01:03:08,201 --> 01:03:09,327
and if it does come up,

1316
01:03:09,494 --> 01:03:12,589
just mention that
we didn't actually waterboard him.

1317
01:03:12,747 --> 01:03:13,748
No waterboarding.

1318
01:03:13,915 --> 01:03:16,134
Just a lot of talk about
sucking each other's dicks.

1319
01:03:16,668 --> 01:03:17,669
Yeah.

1320
01:03:18,670 --> 01:03:20,013
Okay, look, you know what? Here.

1321
01:03:20,171 --> 01:03:26,224
I'm gonna give you $2,000,
and I'm gonna give you an extra $500.

1322
01:03:26,386 --> 01:03:28,434
You just carry around that kind of cash
all day?

1323
01:03:28,596 --> 01:03:30,598
You were mentioning something
about Jerry, I think.

1324
01:03:30,765 --> 01:03:34,110
Yeah, Jerry is in AA.

1325
01:03:34,269 --> 01:03:36,818
- Wait, what?
- Yeah. Alcoholics Anonymous.

1326
01:03:36,980 --> 01:03:38,982
I know what it stands for. Wait, did you
guys know anything about this?

1327
01:03:39,357 --> 01:03:42,076
He goes there every morning
at a church on Brunswick.

1328
01:03:42,235 --> 01:03:43,953
Looking back, I can kind of see it.

1329
01:03:44,112 --> 01:03:46,581
I mean, the first step is recognizing
you have a problem.

1330
01:03:47,282 --> 01:03:49,705
I'm just glad
he's getting the help he needs.

1331
01:03:50,327 --> 01:03:52,000
Sorry, did you say
that church is on Brunswick?

1332
01:03:52,162 --> 01:03:53,163
- Yes.
- Okay!

1333
01:03:53,288 --> 01:03:54,631
- Let's go! Clean up the water!
- Thank you!

1334
01:03:54,789 --> 01:03:56,132
So sorry.

1335
01:03:57,584 --> 01:03:59,882
I told you this wasn't gonna be just
another boring corporate profile, right?

1336
01:04:00,045 --> 01:04:01,547
Right. This is definitely different.

1337
01:04:01,713 --> 01:04:04,216
And I know I'm no longer
the center of the story,

1338
01:04:04,382 --> 01:04:06,510
which is fine with me.
I don't mind giving up the...

1339
01:04:09,554 --> 01:04:11,477
Bob, can I buy you a drink?

1340
01:04:11,639 --> 01:04:13,357
Can you fucking believe this?
Hold on one second.

1341
01:04:13,558 --> 01:04:15,310
- Maybe...
- One second, one second.

1342
01:04:15,477 --> 01:04:17,320
Terrible experience.
So that we will never do it...

1343
01:04:17,479 --> 01:04:20,983
Hi! Hi! WOW! L00k at this.

1344
01:04:21,149 --> 01:04:22,196
- How you doing?
- Good.

1345
01:04:22,359 --> 01:04:23,531
Pretty good.
Yeah, we're just catching up.

1346
01:04:23,693 --> 01:04:25,070
That's so nice. How's that knee?

1347
01:04:25,236 --> 01:04:26,988
- It actually does hurt.
- Yeah.

1348
01:04:27,155 --> 01:04:29,783
But resting and talking to an old friend
has actually really helped.

1349
01:04:29,949 --> 01:04:31,121
Thank you for asking.

1350
01:04:31,201 --> 01:04:32,703
Hey, how was the business call
with Beijing?

1351
01:04:33,244 --> 01:04:34,245
- Super good.
- It was?

1352
01:04:34,329 --> 01:04:36,252
- Yeah, I got a lot done.
- Great.

1353
01:04:36,331 --> 01:04:38,379
What, you think I faked
my business call to Beijing

1354
01:04:38,458 --> 01:04:39,675
like you faked hurting your knee?

1355
01:04:39,834 --> 01:04:42,178
You know what, dude?
I'm sick of this shit, Bob.

1356
01:04:42,337 --> 01:04:43,930
- You're it. How about that?
- No! Pass.

1357
01:04:44,089 --> 01:04:45,887
- You can't pass. And you can't tag back.
- You're it. I pass.

1358
01:04:46,049 --> 01:04:47,517
- My God.
- It's like literally the first rule.

1359
01:04:47,675 --> 01:04:49,097
- You're it! You're it! You're it!
- You cannot tag me back!

1360
01:04:49,177 --> 01:04:51,851
- I'll rewrite the fucking rule book!
- Shut up!

1361
01:04:51,930 --> 01:04:52,931
Why're you acting like children?

1362
01:04:53,181 --> 01:04:54,433
-'Cause he started it.
- You started it.

1363
01:04:54,516 --> 01:04:55,608
You literally started it.

1364
01:04:55,683 --> 01:04:56,730
- No, you started it!
- "My knee hurts."

1365
01:04:56,810 --> 01:04:57,857
What do you think they're talking about?

1366
01:04:57,936 --> 01:04:59,062
Are we off the record?

1367
01:04:59,229 --> 01:05:00,572
Yeah, sure, sure.

1368
01:05:01,648 --> 01:05:02,695
No idea.

1369
01:05:02,857 --> 01:05:04,404
You know what?
I shouldn't have come.

1370
01:05:04,484 --> 01:05:06,111
Jerry always gets in your head.

1371
01:05:06,277 --> 01:05:07,950
Did Jerry tell you to say that?

1372
01:05:08,113 --> 01:05:09,660
You part of the whole
Truman Show of it all?

1373
01:05:09,823 --> 01:05:11,825
I mean, Jerry invited me
to the rehearsal dinner

1374
01:05:11,991 --> 01:05:14,585
because he thought it would distract
you guys, which it did.

1375
01:05:14,744 --> 01:05:18,294
But, um, I wanted to see you. So I came.

1376
01:05:18,373 --> 01:05:19,420
Sure.

1377
01:05:19,499 --> 01:05:20,500
My God.

1378
01:05:20,583 --> 01:05:23,962
You guys are fucking idiots.
Both of you. But I love you both.

1379
01:05:24,170 --> 01:05:26,218
I'm gonna go. Maybe I'll see you later.
Or not.

1380
01:05:26,381 --> 01:05:29,555
- Cheryl...
- Go get Jerry. He fucking deserves it.

1381
01:05:30,969 --> 01:05:32,221
Bye, Cheryl.

1382
01:05:32,971 --> 01:05:34,268
Wow!

1383
01:05:34,431 --> 01:05:35,432
What do you want?

1384
01:05:35,557 --> 01:05:38,731
There's gonna be plenty of time
to get rejected by Cheryl

1385
01:05:38,893 --> 01:05:41,567
after 12:00 a.m. on June 1st.

1386
01:05:41,729 --> 01:05:46,986
So what I need you guys to focus on,
is the fact that we're a team.

1387
01:05:47,152 --> 01:05:50,497
Right? We love each other,
and we love this.

1388
01:05:50,655 --> 01:05:54,580
Let's bask in that.
Stay focused on our mission. All right?

1389
01:05:54,742 --> 01:05:56,369
Let's get back on this horse and ride.

1390
01:05:56,536 --> 01:05:58,004
Let's get this asshole.

1391
01:05:58,163 --> 01:06:00,336
Lou, not part of it. Not at all.

1392
01:06:00,623 --> 01:06:01,715
Now, shake.

1393
01:06:02,792 --> 01:06:03,793
Shake!

1394
01:06:06,588 --> 01:06:09,216
All right. Now we got some work to do.

1395
01:06:21,644 --> 01:06:22,645
Got it.

1396
01:06:22,812 --> 01:06:24,655
Go get him, sweetie.

1397
01:06:43,041 --> 01:06:45,715
Hey, do you think we should talk
to Jerry about being an alcoholic

1398
01:06:45,877 --> 01:06:48,346
-before we get into all this?
- No.

1399
01:06:50,715 --> 01:06:55,312
But now, I've been clean and sober
for almost four years.

1400
01:06:55,887 --> 01:06:59,482
Thanks to all of you
and that higher power. Amen?

1401
01:06:59,641 --> 01:07:01,769
- Amen.
- Amen.

1402
01:07:03,561 --> 01:07:05,939
Jerry, you about ready to share?

1403
01:07:06,397 --> 01:07:08,240
Come on, y'all,
let's give it up for Jerry.

1404
01:07:15,907 --> 01:07:18,330
- My name is Jerry.
- Hi, Jerry.

1405
01:07:21,704 --> 01:07:26,835
JERRY". The slight scent of weed. Chilli.
He thinks he's caught me off guard.

1406
01:07:27,418 --> 01:07:29,341
My God!
I've caught him off guard.

1407
01:07:32,799 --> 01:07:34,517
He rushes in from behind.

1408
01:07:35,176 --> 01:07:37,474
Idiot. I give him a wake-up call.

1409
01:07:43,601 --> 01:07:47,276
Hazelnut coffee?
What kind of bitch drinks hazelnut?

1410
01:07:49,232 --> 01:07:51,826
Holy! Chilli! Hit me!

1411
01:07:53,027 --> 01:07:54,028
Get him!

1412
01:07:54,362 --> 01:07:57,491
I'm going to trap him
and tag him in the face,

1413
01:07:57,991 --> 01:08:01,586
and yet, in my heart of hearts,
pretty sure it's not gonna work.

1414
01:08:04,289 --> 01:08:07,338
Hoagie's attempts to face me fail
because he lacks confidence.

1415
01:08:08,001 --> 01:08:10,254
Also, I think it's fair to say,

1416
01:08:10,962 --> 01:08:14,307
I'm fucking surgical
with these complimentary donuts.

1417
01:08:18,219 --> 01:08:21,814
And this is why
print journalism is dying.

1418
01:08:25,059 --> 01:08:28,108
BOB. Yes! This is the moment
I've been waiting for.

1419
01:08:28,271 --> 01:08:30,649
I'm going to be the one who tags Jerry.

1420
01:08:34,360 --> 01:08:37,204
JERRY". Callahan will become distracted
by his own arrogant thoughts,

1421
01:08:38,948 --> 01:08:39,995
which I will exploit.

1422
01:08:40,158 --> 01:08:41,626
BOB". This will be my victory,

1423
01:08:41,701 --> 01:08:44,250
which makes sense
because success breeds success...

1424
01:08:45,163 --> 01:08:46,164
God.

1425
01:08:57,550 --> 01:09:02,556
How come "bi-weekly" means both
twice a week and every other week?

1426
01:09:02,722 --> 01:09:06,568
That's mad confusing
and it's just linguistically lazy.

1427
01:09:12,774 --> 01:09:13,775
Shit!

1428
01:09:25,495 --> 01:09:27,088
- Holy shit!
- Excessive.

1429
01:09:35,880 --> 01:09:38,224
Feeling trapped, Jerry?

1430
01:09:38,716 --> 01:09:39,808
No.

1431
01:09:39,967 --> 01:09:40,968
Nice.

1432
01:09:44,180 --> 01:09:45,181
Holy shit!

1433
01:09:47,392 --> 01:09:48,393
No, no, no!

1434
01:09:49,894 --> 01:09:52,192
No, no, no!

1435
01:09:52,313 --> 01:09:54,315
We got you, Jerry! You're trapped!

1436
01:09:54,482 --> 01:09:57,486
Five hours till your wedding!
We can wait it out if you can!

1437
01:10:13,084 --> 01:10:15,928
Shit. You know what I just realized?

1438
01:10:16,087 --> 01:10:18,340
There's a lot of sacramental wine
and wafers in there.

1439
01:10:18,506 --> 01:10:19,678
He could survive for quite a while.

1440
01:10:19,841 --> 01:10:21,013
No, he can't drink.

1441
01:10:21,175 --> 01:10:23,269
- Yeah, but it's not real wine.
- Yes, it is.

1442
01:10:23,428 --> 01:10:24,896
It's just grape juice. It's not wine.

1443
01:10:25,054 --> 01:10:28,775
I mean, I was once so fucked up
that I took a shit in my niece's crib.

1444
01:10:29,058 --> 01:10:31,436
Twice, if you ask my sister-in-law.

1445
01:10:32,353 --> 01:10:33,605
So how long you been sober?

1446
01:10:33,771 --> 01:10:35,899
No, I'm not sober.
I'm high right now.

1447
01:10:35,982 --> 01:10:37,404
I'm just here to tag my friend.

1448
01:10:37,567 --> 01:10:41,743
Good luck with the sobriety, man.
That's cool. Definitely.

1449
01:10:41,904 --> 01:10:43,827
It's awful quiet in there.

1450
01:10:44,240 --> 01:10:46,038
You know what he's doing?
It's a classic ruse.

1451
01:10:46,200 --> 01:10:48,919
Make them think there's an exit
and he already escaped. Not buying it.

1452
01:10:49,078 --> 01:10:51,046
I buy it. I bet he has a secret door
back there.

1453
01:10:51,205 --> 01:10:53,207
Refrigerator turns into an elevator.

1454
01:10:53,291 --> 01:10:54,292
What?

1455
01:10:54,375 --> 01:10:56,548
Takes the elevator down to the basement.
That's his lair.

1456
01:10:56,627 --> 01:10:58,345
- Different outfits, computer screens.
- What are you talking about?

1457
01:10:58,421 --> 01:11:00,640
- Cameras watching us.
- He's not Batman.

1458
01:11:03,801 --> 01:11:05,144
Told you. In there.

1459
01:11:05,303 --> 01:11:06,395
What's it say?

1460
01:11:07,722 --> 01:11:10,851
-"Eat my dick."
-"Eat my dick." "Balls." "Ass"?

1461
01:11:11,017 --> 01:11:12,064
"Butt."

1462
01:11:12,143 --> 01:11:13,190
"Ice cream."

1463
01:11:13,269 --> 01:11:14,270
- What?
- What?

1464
01:11:14,437 --> 01:11:16,815
Yeah, he's taunting me.
He knows I'm lactose intolerant.

1465
01:11:18,900 --> 01:11:20,902
What is going on? Where is he?

1466
01:11:21,694 --> 01:11:23,662
Where is he?

1467
01:11:29,660 --> 01:11:30,832
Jerry?

1468
01:11:30,995 --> 01:11:33,999
We're supposed to be getting
our wedding photos done in an hour.

1469
01:11:34,081 --> 01:11:35,458
What are you doing?

1470
01:11:35,625 --> 01:11:37,343
- Come on out, Jerry.
- Jerry, you can come out.

1471
01:11:37,502 --> 01:11:38,549
We're not gonna get you, Jerry.

1472
01:11:38,711 --> 01:11:40,258
Babe, look, calm down.
Look, I'm sorry.

1473
01:11:40,421 --> 01:11:42,594
Shut up, Jerry.
I can't fucking take this, Jerry.

1474
01:11:42,757 --> 01:11:44,134
She can't take it. Come on out.

1475
01:11:44,300 --> 01:11:46,519
Honey, why are you playing this game
right now?

1476
01:11:46,594 --> 01:11:48,722
Why are you playing this game
with your friends right now?

1477
01:11:48,805 --> 01:11:50,773
Why is he playing this game right now?

1478
01:11:50,932 --> 01:11:52,855
Hey, babe, look.
You gotta calm down, okay?

1479
01:11:52,934 --> 01:11:54,561
Listen to me! It's very hard

1480
01:11:54,727 --> 01:11:57,901
because you have decided
to ruin everything.

1481
01:11:58,064 --> 01:12:00,158
And so have you.

1482
01:12:00,316 --> 01:12:03,286
With your stupid face,
and your stupid beard,

1483
01:12:03,444 --> 01:12:05,071
and your stupid glasses,

1484
01:12:05,238 --> 01:12:07,036
and that stupid jumpsuit.

1485
01:12:07,114 --> 01:12:10,038
There's only so much
a girl can take,

1486
01:12:10,201 --> 01:12:12,920
and then you want me
on top of that, just to...

1487
01:12:15,706 --> 01:12:17,333
My God. Are you okay?

1488
01:12:17,500 --> 01:12:20,754
- Babe? Suz? Sue?
- Jerry. My God.

1489
01:12:21,128 --> 01:12:22,721
- Boo? Boo-boo?
- Sue'?

1490
01:12:22,880 --> 01:12:24,598
Boo-boo? Boo-boo?

1491
01:12:24,757 --> 01:12:26,179
What happened? Wait, wait, wait.
What happened?

1492
01:12:26,342 --> 01:12:27,343
Susan, are you okay?

1493
01:12:27,510 --> 01:12:29,353
- Sit down, sit down, sit down.
- It's the baby. It's the baby.

1494
01:12:29,512 --> 01:12:31,480
It's finally happening. He's right here.
Who's it? Bob, tag him.

1495
01:12:31,639 --> 01:12:32,811
- Are you kidding me?
- What?

1496
01:12:32,974 --> 01:12:33,975
There's something wrong with her baby.

1497
01:12:34,141 --> 01:12:35,859
There's nothing wrong with that baby.
It's a fake.

1498
01:12:36,018 --> 01:12:37,520
If you won't do it, then tag me.
I'm gonna do it.

1499
01:12:37,687 --> 01:12:39,530
Yeah. Fine.
You want me to tag you, then?

1500
01:12:39,689 --> 01:12:40,986
Oops, I missed.

1501
01:12:41,148 --> 01:12:42,320
As usual, you're completely wrong.

1502
01:12:42,483 --> 01:12:44,451
This? You think I'm wrong?
This is so over the top!

1503
01:12:44,610 --> 01:12:45,782
This is obvious.

1504
01:12:47,780 --> 01:12:49,157
Tag me, and I'll give him a hug.

1505
01:12:49,323 --> 01:12:50,666
And I'll say,
"if she's having a miscarriage,

1506
01:12:50,741 --> 01:12:52,084
"this is awful, and you're it."

1507
01:12:52,410 --> 01:12:54,208
Are you kidding me right now?

1508
01:12:54,370 --> 01:12:56,498
You know what? This feels like a scene
from What Would You Do?

1509
01:12:56,664 --> 01:12:59,008
You get put in a precarious situation,

1510
01:12:59,166 --> 01:13:01,089
and you have to make the right decision.

1511
01:13:01,252 --> 01:13:02,299
It's all actors and cameras.

1512
01:13:02,461 --> 01:13:06,182
It's not great television,
but it hooks me in.

1513
01:13:06,340 --> 01:13:07,341
What?

1514
01:13:07,425 --> 01:13:08,802
Come on.

1515
01:13:08,968 --> 01:13:10,470
All right, we're good.
We're gonna get to the hospital.

1516
01:13:11,762 --> 01:13:15,687
Jesus. Hey! Jerry? Jerry, if you need
anything I could easily--

1517
01:13:15,766 --> 01:13:17,268
You come near her or my baby,

1518
01:13:17,435 --> 01:13:18,857
I'll crush your windpipe, Bob.

1519
01:13:20,438 --> 01:13:22,190
This ain't no fucking game.

1520
01:13:27,945 --> 01:13:29,447
I'm pretty sure it's real, guys.

1521
01:13:29,614 --> 01:13:32,743
I will be so pissed
if she didn't have a miscarriage.

1522
01:13:32,909 --> 01:13:33,910
Chilli!

1523
01:13:34,327 --> 01:13:35,328
We all would be.

1524
01:13:35,494 --> 01:13:36,871
- It's just a thing you don't...
- Say.

1525
01:13:37,038 --> 01:13:38,381
It's implied.

1526
01:13:58,643 --> 01:14:00,737
Hey, Linda. Namaste.

1527
01:14:03,064 --> 01:14:04,907
Shouldn't you boys be getting cleaned up
for the wedding?

1528
01:14:05,066 --> 01:14:07,239
Not you, Chilli.
You're perfect.

1529
01:14:07,818 --> 01:14:09,240
Thanks, Linda.

1530
01:14:09,403 --> 01:14:11,371
I don't think
anybody's gonna be freshening up.

1531
01:14:14,700 --> 01:14:16,577
Hoagie, you can't go looking like that.

1532
01:14:19,914 --> 01:14:23,544
"To everyone asking,
the wedding has been postponed.

1533
01:14:23,709 --> 01:14:25,757
"Thank you for your thoughts
and prayers."

1534
01:14:25,920 --> 01:14:27,172
It's from Jerry's mom.

1535
01:14:27,505 --> 01:14:30,258
- Well, maybe we're bad people.
- Maybe?

1536
01:14:30,424 --> 01:14:32,017
Yes, I think we definitely are.

1537
01:14:32,093 --> 01:14:33,094
We might be.

1538
01:14:33,177 --> 01:14:36,647
Tag used to be a thing
that made me really happy.

1539
01:14:36,973 --> 01:14:40,273
But now, it's destroying me. I feel sad.

1540
01:14:40,434 --> 01:14:41,777
Shut the fuck up, Sable.

1541
01:14:41,936 --> 01:14:44,940
Has anyone seen
the bridesmaids' lnstagram stories?

1542
01:14:45,982 --> 01:14:47,609
Check it out.

1543
01:14:48,234 --> 01:14:51,534
"Wedding's canceled."
Sad face emoji.

1544
01:14:51,696 --> 01:14:54,324
"I can't wear the dress.
Such a pretty dress.

1545
01:14:54,490 --> 01:14:56,413
"So sad." Goodbye emoji. "Was it a..."

1546
01:14:56,575 --> 01:15:00,170
Really? ls there any chance
that all these women could post banal,

1547
01:15:00,329 --> 01:15:02,457
minute-by-minute moments from their day,

1548
01:15:02,540 --> 01:15:04,668
with mind-numbing captions
at the same time?

1549
01:15:04,834 --> 01:15:06,677
- Totally.
- Absolutely. That's all lnstagram is.

1550
01:15:06,752 --> 01:15:09,130
- Yeah.
- I don't know about this, guys.

1551
01:15:09,296 --> 01:15:11,674
It doesn't feel right. I smell a rat.

1552
01:15:11,757 --> 01:15:12,804
That's what I've been saying.

1553
01:15:12,883 --> 01:15:13,884
I have been actually saying this
the whole time.

1554
01:15:14,051 --> 01:15:17,726
Hey, sweetheart, can we just move on?
It's over.

1555
01:15:17,888 --> 01:15:19,731
But it's not. Now, come on, guys.

1556
01:15:19,849 --> 01:15:21,351
I'm gonna get to the bottom of this.

1557
01:15:21,517 --> 01:15:23,019
- Bob.
- What'd I do?

1558
01:15:23,185 --> 01:15:24,277
Can I take a photograph of you?

1559
01:15:24,562 --> 01:15:25,814
No. Okay.

1560
01:15:25,896 --> 01:15:26,897
Cute.

1561
01:15:27,231 --> 01:15:28,608
I'm gonna set up
an lnstagram account for you.

1562
01:15:28,774 --> 01:15:29,775
Please don't.

1563
01:15:29,900 --> 01:15:32,403
Rachel Ditmus is the only bridesmaid
with a private lnstagram account.

1564
01:15:32,570 --> 01:15:34,823
She's been wanting you to finger bang
her since the sixth grade.

1565
01:15:35,406 --> 01:15:38,125
If anybody's stupid enough
to fall for our request,

1566
01:15:38,200 --> 01:15:40,828
it will be that dum-dum.

1567
01:15:40,911 --> 01:15:44,040
And sent.
All we've got to do now is wait.

1568
01:15:44,123 --> 01:15:46,296
And accepted!

1569
01:15:46,459 --> 01:15:47,927
- Really?
- That was weirdly fast.

1570
01:15:48,085 --> 01:15:49,337
Do not finger bang her.

1571
01:15:49,503 --> 01:15:52,256
My God. I was right.

1572
01:15:52,423 --> 01:15:54,551
- What? What are we looking at here?
- What the hell is this?

1573
01:15:54,717 --> 01:15:55,809
A wedding dress.

1574
01:15:55,968 --> 01:15:56,969
What the fuck?

1575
01:15:57,553 --> 01:15:58,930
They faked the fucking miscarriage!

1576
01:15:59,096 --> 01:16:01,519
No, no, no. Jerry's going down.
We're gonna destroy that wedding.

1577
01:16:01,682 --> 01:16:03,355
- Let's go!
- This is bullshit. That is so fucked up.

1578
01:16:03,517 --> 01:16:04,518
Absolutely.

1579
01:16:07,938 --> 01:16:08,939
Hoagie?

1580
01:16:11,358 --> 01:16:12,610
Hoagie, what are you doing?

1581
01:16:12,902 --> 01:16:14,074
Damn it!

1582
01:16:14,695 --> 01:16:16,117
- Sweetie.
- Hoagie?

1583
01:16:16,280 --> 01:16:17,623
Be careful.

1584
01:16:18,574 --> 01:16:20,167
Should we stop him, or...

1585
01:16:20,326 --> 01:16:22,545
I'm not getting near him.
He's swinging that bat around.

1586
01:16:25,206 --> 01:16:27,208
- Sweetie, that's your mom's.
- Yeah, you're gonna hurt yourself.

1587
01:16:35,424 --> 01:16:40,976
We lost! He beat us! The game is over!

1588
01:16:42,765 --> 01:16:44,392
We can't tag Jerry.

1589
01:16:45,601 --> 01:16:49,526
It's just time for us to come to terms
with that. He's untouchable. That's it.

1590
01:16:49,688 --> 01:16:51,281
What do you wanna do?
You wanna just give up?

1591
01:16:51,440 --> 01:16:53,943
Yeah, Bob. I wanna give up.
It's time to give up.

1592
01:16:54,110 --> 01:16:55,703
Come on, Hogan. You're not a quitter.

1593
01:16:55,861 --> 01:16:57,204
What's the alternative?

1594
01:16:57,655 --> 01:17:00,204
We go to the wedding.
We try to tag him. We fail.

1595
01:17:00,783 --> 01:17:02,285
And we fuck up the wedding?

1596
01:17:02,368 --> 01:17:03,870
That's not a cool move.
That's a dick move.

1597
01:17:04,036 --> 01:17:05,583
That's not what friends do.
That's what assholes do.

1598
01:17:05,746 --> 01:17:08,545
Hoagie! He faked a fucking miscarriage.

1599
01:17:08,707 --> 01:17:10,801
This is a miscarriage ofjustice.

1600
01:17:11,836 --> 01:17:13,179
This is where we get him.

1601
01:17:13,337 --> 01:17:14,554
He deserves to pay for that.

1602
01:17:15,422 --> 01:17:17,766
Even if we wanted to do that,
we all signed an amendment.

1603
01:17:17,925 --> 01:17:21,179
Amendments are null and void
if you fake a miscarriage.

1604
01:17:21,345 --> 01:17:22,892
That's just basic contract law.

1605
01:17:23,055 --> 01:17:24,648
- That's law. Basic contract law.
- Law.

1606
01:17:24,807 --> 01:17:25,808
Like he said.

1607
01:17:25,975 --> 01:17:28,273
- I literally said exactly that.
- I know. We're saying it together.

1608
01:17:28,435 --> 01:17:31,780
But I was also right earlier
because I said the miscarriage was fake.

1609
01:17:31,856 --> 01:17:35,986
The amendment stands,
and maybe that's a good thing.

1610
01:17:36,610 --> 01:17:39,489
Maybe it's time to grow up a little.

1611
01:17:39,864 --> 01:17:41,787
I'm going to the wedding.

1612
01:17:42,533 --> 01:17:46,959
And you guys can do what you want.
I hope you come too.

1613
01:17:47,121 --> 01:17:48,964
Chilli, just put on a tie.

1614
01:17:52,376 --> 01:17:53,423
Sweetie.

1615
01:17:57,214 --> 01:17:58,306
Do you even have a tie?

1616
01:17:58,465 --> 01:17:59,637
Yes, I have a tie.

1617
01:17:59,717 --> 01:18:01,435
- Do you need to borrow a tie?
- Yes, I need to borrow a tie.

1618
01:18:44,595 --> 01:18:47,769
Hi! I'm so glad you made it!

1619
01:18:47,848 --> 01:18:49,100
Is that champagne?

1620
01:18:49,183 --> 01:18:51,231
I know.

1621
01:18:51,644 --> 01:18:53,362
I'm the girl who cried miscarriage.

1622
01:18:53,520 --> 01:18:56,865
But I had to get him out of that room
and distract you for a couple of hours

1623
01:18:57,024 --> 01:18:58,492
so that the amendment could kick in.

1624
01:18:58,651 --> 01:19:00,278
Wait. Are you even pregnant?

1625
01:19:00,361 --> 01:19:01,783
No, I was never pregnant.

1626
01:19:01,946 --> 01:19:03,072
You were never pregnant?

1627
01:19:03,155 --> 01:19:04,281
Whoa.

1628
01:19:04,365 --> 01:19:05,867
Just listen. Jerry knew

1629
01:19:06,033 --> 01:19:07,831
that you guys might get the drop on him

1630
01:19:07,993 --> 01:19:10,712
so "Operation Miscarriage"
was our fail-safe.

1631
01:19:10,871 --> 01:19:13,044
- It was an operation?
- It was actually my idea.

1632
01:19:13,249 --> 01:19:14,751
- Brilliant. Brilliant!
- Thanks.

1633
01:19:14,917 --> 01:19:16,089
That's diabolical.

1634
01:19:16,252 --> 01:19:19,256
Everyone's just pissed because you won,
and they're boys.

1635
01:19:19,338 --> 01:19:22,638
They can't get pregnant,
so they can't fake a miscarriage.

1636
01:19:22,758 --> 01:19:24,180
It's true.

1637
01:19:24,343 --> 01:19:26,562
Look, I'm not saying I want you
to have a miscarriage.

1638
01:19:26,720 --> 01:19:27,721
Then don't.

1639
01:19:27,888 --> 01:19:31,062
'Cause that would be terrible.
But if you ever do have a miscarriage,

1640
01:19:31,225 --> 01:19:33,774
I don't wanna say that you would
deserve it 'cause that's too far,

1641
01:19:33,936 --> 01:19:36,314
but what I will say and what I do feel

1642
01:19:36,480 --> 01:19:38,448
is that's what you get.

1643
01:19:38,983 --> 01:19:42,078
Okay. It's fine.
We can all have different feelings.

1644
01:19:42,152 --> 01:19:44,826
But it's our wedding day, you guys.
Come on.

1645
01:19:44,989 --> 01:19:47,117
And we came up with this great amendment

1646
01:19:47,283 --> 01:19:51,914
so that we could all enjoy this day
together and have fun and relax.

1647
01:19:52,079 --> 01:19:53,171
Are we cool?

1648
01:19:53,872 --> 01:19:55,874
- Yeah, I guess so.
- Not yet.

1649
01:19:56,250 --> 01:20:00,676
Sorry. Not cool yet.
It's just, you did murder a child.

1650
01:20:00,754 --> 01:20:01,755
No.

1651
01:20:01,839 --> 01:20:02,886
She didn't.
No, it was a fake miscarriage.

1652
01:20:03,048 --> 01:20:05,927
Yeah, not the imaginary child
that was inside of you,

1653
01:20:06,093 --> 01:20:09,848
but the actual inner child
that lives inside of me

1654
01:20:10,014 --> 01:20:11,266
got decapitated.

1655
01:20:11,390 --> 01:20:15,816
Head flew up, did flips in the air,
blood spurting everywhere.

1656
01:20:15,978 --> 01:20:19,482
Hoagie, Jerry has a perfect record,

1657
01:20:19,648 --> 01:20:21,116
and we're a team now.

1658
01:20:21,567 --> 01:20:22,693
The winning team.

1659
01:20:22,860 --> 01:20:25,613
And I just feel like, Hoagie,
if you're gonna play

1660
01:20:25,779 --> 01:20:28,953
a children's game as a grown man,

1661
01:20:29,116 --> 01:20:31,869
maybe, next time,
don't play like a child.

1662
01:20:33,912 --> 01:20:37,507
Anyways, I am really excited
you guys are here.

1663
01:20:37,666 --> 01:20:40,215
Try the raw bar. It's off the hook.

1664
01:20:40,377 --> 01:20:42,505
It's my wedding!
I'm getting married!

1665
01:20:42,671 --> 01:20:45,299
- Congratulations.
- Come on! Grab it!

1666
01:20:49,970 --> 01:20:52,849
I take back everything I said
about her being effervescent.

1667
01:20:53,599 --> 01:20:55,442
I met Jerry in AA.

1668
01:20:55,601 --> 01:20:58,525
You see, people,
I got a lot of problems.

1669
01:20:58,687 --> 01:21:03,739
Anger issues. I left my wife.
I have many kids.

1670
01:21:03,901 --> 01:21:07,155
And this man
got me to turn to the cloth.

1671
01:21:07,321 --> 01:21:09,119
It was a low point in my life.

1672
01:21:09,281 --> 01:21:11,454
There was jail time involved.

1673
01:21:11,617 --> 01:21:13,836
I briefly converted to Islam.

1674
01:21:13,994 --> 01:21:18,249
I lost a long legal battle
with Jo-Ann Fabrics.

1675
01:21:18,415 --> 01:21:21,669
During that time, I got to know
Jerry and Susan as a couple.

1676
01:21:21,835 --> 01:21:22,961
And that is a true blessing.

1677
01:21:23,128 --> 01:21:25,551
What's the difference between
Episcopalian and Lutheran?

1678
01:21:25,714 --> 01:21:28,183
Episcopalians don't eat fish.

1679
01:21:29,343 --> 01:21:33,018
That's pescatarian.
That's not a religion.

1680
01:21:33,180 --> 01:21:34,853
They're all fanatics. I don't know.

1681
01:21:35,599 --> 01:21:38,443
Remind me again, is it on the kiss
or after they walk back down the aisle?

1682
01:21:38,602 --> 01:21:41,355
Seriously?
You said you'd worked weddings before.

1683
01:21:41,522 --> 01:21:45,447
The kiss, the doves, end of ceremony.
The groom was very specific about this.

1684
01:21:45,609 --> 01:21:48,328
...and finds new ways
of expressing love

1685
01:21:48,404 --> 01:21:51,283
through the ups and downs of life.

1686
01:21:51,448 --> 01:21:54,827
Susan, do you take Jerry
to be your husband?

1687
01:21:55,536 --> 01:21:58,005
Do you promise to love, honor,
cherish and protect him,

1688
01:21:58,163 --> 01:22:02,168
forsaking all others,
holding only to him forever more?

1689
01:22:02,835 --> 01:22:03,927
I do.

1690
01:22:04,086 --> 01:22:05,087
Beautiful.

1691
01:22:05,254 --> 01:22:07,097
There's gonna be a window.

1692
01:22:07,256 --> 01:22:09,258
- What, sweetie?
- The doves.

1693
01:22:09,967 --> 01:22:11,389
What about the doves?

1694
01:22:11,593 --> 01:22:13,220
There's an opening.

1695
01:22:13,637 --> 01:22:15,389
Just relax, honey.

1696
01:22:15,973 --> 01:22:17,771
You seem stressed.

1697
01:22:19,017 --> 01:22:21,645
Jerry, do you take Susan
to be your wife?

1698
01:22:22,688 --> 01:22:25,737
Do you promise to love, honor, cherish,
and protect her

1699
01:22:25,899 --> 01:22:30,029
forsaking all others,
holding only to her forever more?

1700
01:22:30,112 --> 01:22:31,329
I do.

1701
01:22:31,488 --> 01:22:33,286
I mean, this is actually
kind of beautiful.

1702
01:22:33,449 --> 01:22:35,292
It really is, man.

1703
01:22:35,367 --> 01:22:38,041
I now pronounce you husband and wife.

1704
01:22:39,705 --> 01:22:41,628
You may kiss the bride.

1705
01:22:41,748 --> 01:22:43,466
I love you.

1706
01:23:28,921 --> 01:23:30,298
- Hoagie!
- Go, go, go!

1707
01:23:30,464 --> 01:23:32,683
- God! Guys, go!
- Hoagie! You okay?

1708
01:23:32,841 --> 01:23:34,138
Jesus.

1709
01:23:34,718 --> 01:23:35,719
Hey, man.

1710
01:23:36,178 --> 01:23:37,179
Buddy?

1711
01:23:37,304 --> 01:23:39,102
- You scared away the swans.
- Hoagie?

1712
01:23:40,098 --> 01:23:41,725
- Hogan? Hogan.
- Hoagie!

1713
01:23:41,892 --> 01:23:44,236
I can't believe that you guys did this.
Right now.

1714
01:23:44,394 --> 01:23:47,568
Well, I don't think you get to claim
the moral high ground over us, actually.

1715
01:23:47,731 --> 01:23:48,823
Yeah, you're not better than us.

1716
01:23:48,982 --> 01:23:50,780
You and your wife pretended
to have a goddamn miscarriage.

1717
01:23:50,943 --> 01:23:52,695
Misunderstanding! Misunderstanding.

1718
01:23:52,861 --> 01:23:55,080
- Misunderstanding.
- In her vagina.

1719
01:23:55,489 --> 01:23:56,741
Wow. Boy.

1720
01:23:56,907 --> 01:23:58,284
Guys, call a doctor!

1721
01:23:58,450 --> 01:23:59,872
- Can you hear me?
- Buddy?

1722
01:24:00,244 --> 01:24:01,917
- Hey!
- Somebody get a doctor!

1723
01:24:02,079 --> 01:24:04,457
- Bud?
- He's gone full loss of consciousness.

1724
01:24:04,623 --> 01:24:06,000
That's impressive.

1725
01:24:06,166 --> 01:24:07,918
Even better
than your performance. Right?

1726
01:24:08,001 --> 01:24:09,753
I know! It's so good!

1727
01:24:09,920 --> 01:24:11,922
Excuse me, everyone...

1728
01:24:12,130 --> 01:24:13,632
Everything's fine.

1729
01:24:13,966 --> 01:24:15,559
This is all just a game.

1730
01:24:18,512 --> 01:24:20,480
He's still unconscious, but he's stable.

1731
01:24:20,639 --> 01:24:23,392
He really should never have been
this active given his condition.

1732
01:24:23,559 --> 01:24:25,527
- You can see him when he wakes up.
- Thanks.

1733
01:24:27,104 --> 01:24:28,526
I got this.

1734
01:24:28,689 --> 01:24:31,317
Excuse me, Doctor. Hey, how are you?

1735
01:24:31,483 --> 01:24:34,532
- Yeah.
- Doctor...Doctor Yoon, is it?

1736
01:24:34,695 --> 01:24:36,072
- Yes.
- How do you spell that?

1737
01:24:36,989 --> 01:24:39,788
- You're looking right at it.
- I know, but I'm just asking you.

1738
01:24:40,284 --> 01:24:41,581
What exactly are you asking me?

1739
01:24:41,952 --> 01:24:44,455
My friends and I do this thing.
It's this really weird game.

1740
01:24:44,913 --> 01:24:47,041
Is there any chance this is all fake,
that you could just tell me.

1741
01:24:47,207 --> 01:24:48,925
I won't tell the others.

1742
01:24:49,251 --> 01:24:50,343
Is this fake?

1743
01:24:50,586 --> 01:24:52,839
- This hospital?
- The whole thing, yeah. Is it fake?

1744
01:24:53,005 --> 01:24:54,302
That's the dumbest thing
I've ever heard.

1745
01:24:54,381 --> 01:24:56,054
He told you to say that, right?

1746
01:24:56,216 --> 01:24:58,844
- Look, I gotta prep a surgery.
- Will you just do me one quick favor?

1747
01:24:59,011 --> 01:25:01,105
Could you recite
the Hippocratic Oath for me?

1748
01:25:01,263 --> 01:25:02,890
That's not a thing doctors memorize.

1749
01:25:05,809 --> 01:25:07,402
Still unsure.

1750
01:25:08,061 --> 01:25:09,654
It's gonna be fine.
It's just, it was a lot.

1751
01:25:09,813 --> 01:25:11,235
I mean, how does that all happen
at a wedding?

1752
01:25:12,316 --> 01:25:13,317
Hey, boss.

1753
01:25:14,026 --> 01:25:15,027
How did that go?

1754
01:25:15,193 --> 01:25:16,490
I'm all turned around.

1755
01:25:16,653 --> 01:25:17,654
About what?

1756
01:25:18,530 --> 01:25:20,077
If he's an actor or if he's not.

1757
01:25:20,240 --> 01:25:23,369
He's not. He's a doctor.
We're in a hospital.

1758
01:25:24,828 --> 01:25:27,126
You're drinking the Kool-Aid.

1759
01:25:33,962 --> 01:25:36,215
All right. What do we do?

1760
01:25:36,381 --> 01:25:38,850
Look, Chilli, what's wrong with you?
Just go talk to the girl.

1761
01:25:39,009 --> 01:25:40,010
Could be a trap.

1762
01:25:40,093 --> 01:25:42,642
She's here for a friend
who is in the hospital. Okay?

1763
01:25:43,388 --> 01:25:44,890
You know I'm right. I'm always right.

1764
01:25:45,057 --> 01:25:47,901
Okay, you're right about this,
but you are not always right.

1765
01:25:48,060 --> 01:25:49,357
Buddy, I'm always right,
and you know it's true.

1766
01:25:49,436 --> 01:25:50,437
Bob, you're not always right.

1767
01:25:50,520 --> 01:25:51,897
-100%...
-1989.

1768
01:25:52,272 --> 01:25:53,273
Come on.

1769
01:25:53,440 --> 01:25:55,488
Ken Griffey Jr. enters the league,
and what do you say?

1770
01:25:55,776 --> 01:25:57,028
"He will never be
as good as his father."

1771
01:25:57,194 --> 01:25:58,411
And he's better than his father.

1772
01:25:58,570 --> 01:26:00,789
- Where are the rings?
- You are so wrong!

1773
01:26:00,947 --> 01:26:03,496
The historical record
has proven that I am right.

1774
01:26:03,659 --> 01:26:05,878
You know what? Time will tell.

1775
01:26:05,952 --> 01:26:08,751
You will never admit
that you are wrong about anything.

1776
01:26:08,914 --> 01:26:10,166
I'm not wrong.

1777
01:26:10,332 --> 01:26:12,255
Come on, it's been a while
since we've done this.

1778
01:26:12,417 --> 01:26:13,464
Come here, man.

1779
01:26:14,461 --> 01:26:15,838
This was a fun few days, man.

1780
01:26:16,004 --> 01:26:17,381
- I really missed you.
- I missed you too, man.

1781
01:26:18,256 --> 01:26:20,384
- You want a breath mint?
- No, I don't want a breath mint.

1782
01:26:20,550 --> 01:26:21,767
- Stop it.
- You want a breath mint?

1783
01:26:21,843 --> 01:26:24,813
I would love a breath mint.
I got a gross taste in my mouth.

1784
01:26:31,687 --> 01:26:33,064
Hey, mind if I sit?

1785
01:26:33,230 --> 01:26:34,231
No.

1786
01:26:36,858 --> 01:26:37,859
Thanks for coming.

1787
01:26:38,402 --> 01:26:40,951
- I hope he's okay.
- Yeah, me too.

1788
01:26:44,783 --> 01:26:46,000
Um...

1789
01:26:52,541 --> 01:26:55,886
I don't know if that...
We're in a hospital and...

1790
01:26:56,044 --> 01:26:57,421
- You know?
- Yes.

1791
01:26:57,587 --> 01:27:00,306
My friend is possibly dying.

1792
01:27:00,465 --> 01:27:04,311
But it feels like a time I need
to tell you how I feel about you,

1793
01:27:04,594 --> 01:27:07,313
and I am so pumped
that your husband's dead.

1794
01:27:07,723 --> 01:27:09,066
- No.
- No.

1795
01:27:09,850 --> 01:27:12,444
But I'm really happy to see you, Cheryl.

1796
01:27:14,187 --> 01:27:17,407
You are broke and divorced

1797
01:27:17,566 --> 01:27:19,944
-and just a fucking mess, really.
- Yeah.

1798
01:27:20,110 --> 01:27:21,362
But it's fun to see you, too.

1799
01:27:21,528 --> 01:27:23,576
Good. All right. I'll take that.

1800
01:27:23,739 --> 01:27:26,993
I actually think that...

1801
01:27:27,159 --> 01:27:30,083
I can't believe I'm saying this,
but I would see you again.

1802
01:27:30,996 --> 01:27:32,873
- For real?
- Yeah.

1803
01:27:33,039 --> 01:27:35,087
- Like a little date.
- No, definitely didn't say that.

1804
01:27:35,250 --> 01:27:37,298
- Like a dinner.
- Smaller than that.

1805
01:27:37,669 --> 01:27:39,592
- Like a lunch.
- How about a snack?

1806
01:27:40,756 --> 01:27:42,724
I'll take what I can get.

1807
01:27:43,008 --> 01:27:46,012
Hoagie, I know you're fucking with me.

1808
01:27:46,845 --> 01:27:52,602
I'm not. I've got a tumor on my liver
the size of my right nut.

1809
01:27:54,770 --> 01:27:56,397
Jesus.

1810
01:27:56,980 --> 01:27:57,981
Yeah.

1811
01:27:58,148 --> 01:28:00,867
I know you're fucking with him,
but what are you doing? What's the plan?

1812
01:28:01,026 --> 01:28:03,529
- Tell us what's going on.
- Chilli, there's no plan.

1813
01:28:03,695 --> 01:28:04,912
What's going on?

1814
01:28:05,071 --> 01:28:06,618
There's no plan, Chilli.

1815
01:28:06,990 --> 01:28:08,207
Stop winking at me.

1816
01:28:08,366 --> 01:28:10,084
Think it's real.
This looks like it's doing something.

1817
01:28:10,243 --> 01:28:12,792
Something real is happening
on this thing right here.

1818
01:28:12,871 --> 01:28:14,168
How long have you known this?

1819
01:28:14,331 --> 01:28:15,583
For three weeks.

1820
01:28:15,749 --> 01:28:17,092
Three weeks.

1821
01:28:17,250 --> 01:28:20,629
Right nut.
Too specific, I call bullshit.

1822
01:28:20,796 --> 01:28:22,298
That's a lie. Right? It's a lie.

1823
01:28:22,464 --> 01:28:23,465
I'm not lying.

1824
01:28:24,090 --> 01:28:26,934
Although I did lie about one thing.

1825
01:28:27,719 --> 01:28:29,721
Jerry's not quitting
at the end of the season.

1826
01:28:29,888 --> 01:28:31,435
JERRY". What? Why the fuck would I quit?

1827
01:28:31,598 --> 01:28:33,066
Yeah, I just... I said that

1828
01:28:33,225 --> 01:28:36,195
to get everyone together,
you know, for one last round.

1829
01:28:36,353 --> 01:28:39,197
Hoagie, tell me you are fucking joking
about this.

1830
01:28:39,356 --> 01:28:40,608
No.

1831
01:28:41,608 --> 01:28:47,832
There is a decent chance
I will not be around for next season.

1832
01:28:56,665 --> 01:28:57,666
Damn.

1833
01:29:00,085 --> 01:29:02,304
And, I mean, plus,
even if you were, you'd be,

1834
01:29:03,547 --> 01:29:05,675
you know. Really slow.

1835
01:29:05,757 --> 01:29:07,600
A total sitting duck.

1836
01:29:07,676 --> 01:29:10,475
Carrying like an IV bag around,
that's easy.

1837
01:29:10,554 --> 01:29:11,851
I had an uncle that went through chemo,

1838
01:29:11,930 --> 01:29:13,853
and afterwards,
he was terrible at games.

1839
01:29:14,266 --> 01:29:17,019
But I guess that makes sense.
It would be weird if he got better.

1840
01:29:18,186 --> 01:29:19,688
Then everybody would be getting chemo.

1841
01:29:22,607 --> 01:29:24,359
I love you guys.

1842
01:29:25,902 --> 01:29:28,496
I love... I love this game. You know?

1843
01:29:29,197 --> 01:29:32,792
I don't know what it is.
ltjust brings out the best in us.

1844
01:29:34,536 --> 01:29:35,958
Except today.

1845
01:29:36,288 --> 01:29:38,962
Today, I don't know.

1846
01:29:39,749 --> 01:29:44,220
I really fucked up your wedding, Jerry,
and I am super sorry.

1847
01:29:45,422 --> 01:29:46,423
Jerry?

1848
01:29:47,090 --> 01:29:49,843
.Has he hung up?
- Jerry?

1849
01:29:54,639 --> 01:29:57,734
You didn't fuck up my wedding, Hoagie.
Come on.

1850
01:29:59,644 --> 01:30:01,362
- Right?
- No.

1851
01:30:01,438 --> 01:30:02,860
You might have
ruined a moment.

1852
01:30:03,940 --> 01:30:06,739
I screwed it up.
You should've been up there with me.

1853
01:30:06,902 --> 01:30:07,903
All you boys should've.

1854
01:30:08,945 --> 01:30:09,946
That's my fault.

1855
01:30:10,530 --> 01:30:14,160
I always thought that you guys were just
much closer to each other than to me...

1856
01:30:14,242 --> 01:30:15,243
What?

1857
01:30:15,619 --> 01:30:17,587
I mean, if it seems like we were closer,

1858
01:30:17,662 --> 01:30:20,256
it's only because
we're physically closer

1859
01:30:20,415 --> 01:30:21,667
because you always ran away.

1860
01:30:21,833 --> 01:30:23,335
Successfully. You know, I mean,

1861
01:30:23,501 --> 01:30:25,503
not for nothing, you might actually be

1862
01:30:25,587 --> 01:30:27,715
the very best person at this game
on the planet.

1863
01:30:28,089 --> 01:30:29,716
He might be, right?

1864
01:30:30,216 --> 01:30:32,093
Yeah, you're really good at tag.

1865
01:30:33,053 --> 01:30:35,852
Yes, but you've kind of missed
the point.

1866
01:30:36,014 --> 01:30:39,188
I mean, it's not about trying
to get away from each other.

1867
01:30:39,267 --> 01:30:44,273
It's actually about having a reason
to be around each other. You know?

1868
01:30:44,439 --> 01:30:45,611
Yeah.

1869
01:30:45,982 --> 01:30:47,905
I mean, Ben Franklin said it best.
Am I right?

1870
01:30:48,068 --> 01:30:50,662
"We don't stop playing
'cause we grow old..."

1871
01:30:50,737 --> 01:30:52,284
"We grow old
because we stop playing."

1872
01:30:52,364 --> 01:30:55,288
I've been wanting to say for a few years
that quote is not Benjamin Franklin.

1873
01:30:55,367 --> 01:30:57,369
That is German anthropologist,
Karl Groos.

1874
01:30:57,452 --> 01:30:59,454
- La, la, la, la, la...
- Why are you ruining the moment?

1875
01:30:59,621 --> 01:31:00,713
- I just don't even want to know.
- He's in the hospital.

1876
01:31:00,789 --> 01:31:02,757
- It felt like the right moment.
- It's not the right moment, so...

1877
01:31:02,832 --> 01:31:03,879
- It is the right moment.
- It isn't.

1878
01:31:04,042 --> 01:31:05,089
So, Jerry...

1879
01:31:09,005 --> 01:31:10,302
It's 11155.

1880
01:31:10,465 --> 01:31:13,093
Get in here, and let me tag you.

1881
01:31:17,514 --> 01:31:19,357
You know, I've been so attached,
I suppose,

1882
01:31:19,432 --> 01:31:21,105
to my perfect record all these years,

1883
01:31:21,184 --> 01:31:22,982
dominating you fools.

1884
01:31:23,144 --> 01:31:25,943
Maybe I should. Maybe I shouldn't.

1885
01:31:26,106 --> 01:31:29,076
If you think about it,
Jerry is a tag virgin.

1886
01:31:29,401 --> 01:31:30,448
Or champion.

1887
01:31:30,527 --> 01:31:32,575
Just let us deflower you.

1888
01:31:32,737 --> 01:31:34,080
We'll be gentle.

1889
01:31:34,572 --> 01:31:36,165
I can't.

1890
01:31:38,034 --> 01:31:39,035
Come on.

1891
01:31:40,704 --> 01:31:41,705
I can't do it.

1892
01:31:41,788 --> 01:31:45,634
Then I'm not gonna tag anybody,
and the game ends with me.

1893
01:31:45,709 --> 01:31:47,006
That's dark.

1894
01:31:47,085 --> 01:31:49,463
Or you just let me tag you.

1895
01:31:51,840 --> 01:31:53,513
All right, fuck it.

1896
01:32:00,015 --> 01:32:01,016
- God!

1897
01:32:01,099 --> 01:32:02,316
Loser! Loser!

1898
01:32:02,392 --> 01:32:03,689
You suck!

1899
01:32:04,644 --> 01:32:05,645
Awesome.

1900
01:32:07,105 --> 01:32:09,733
- Yes!
- You officially suck.

1901
01:32:09,816 --> 01:32:10,908
You're so it!

1902
01:32:11,067 --> 01:32:13,240
Goddamn! All right!

1903
01:32:15,488 --> 01:32:16,740
I love you guys.

1904
01:32:17,741 --> 01:32:18,958
Love you too, man.

1905
01:32:22,996 --> 01:32:26,626
You know we got five minutes
left of May.

1906
01:32:27,292 --> 01:32:29,386
I ain't gonna be last it. Bitches!

1907
01:32:48,646 --> 01:32:49,989
Look, Bob!
Where are you gonna go, Bob?

1908
01:32:50,148 --> 01:32:51,149
No!

1909
01:32:57,072 --> 01:32:59,575
Verbal amendment?
That women should be playing.

1910
01:33:01,034 --> 01:33:03,207
- Amendment.
- Yeah, amendment.

1911
01:33:05,538 --> 01:33:07,540
You just made a big mistake.

1912
01:33:09,292 --> 01:33:11,920
- You're it, bitch!
- You're it now!

1913
01:33:12,087 --> 01:33:13,304
- You're going down!
- You're too intense!

1914
01:33:13,463 --> 01:33:15,340
You're gonna suck my tiny ginger balls.

1915
01:33:15,507 --> 01:33:16,850
ON. Gross!

1916
01:33:17,008 --> 01:33:19,386
You're gross!

1917
01:33:29,020 --> 01:33:30,488
Come on! Shit! No.

1918
01:33:36,152 --> 01:33:37,825
- You're it.
- No, I can't get involved in the story.

1919
01:33:37,904 --> 01:33:38,996
We made an amendment!

1920
01:33:39,072 --> 01:33:41,951
Come on, it's a little bit fun, right?
You have about three minutes.

1921
01:33:55,588 --> 01:33:58,717
Sable! Come on.
Where are your ethics, buddy?

1922
01:33:59,884 --> 01:34:01,682
Come on. Just reach out.

1923
01:34:01,845 --> 01:34:02,846
- No!
- You got it.

1924
01:34:04,347 --> 01:34:05,348
Shit, hang on a second.

1925
01:34:05,515 --> 01:34:06,732
You Okay?

1926
01:34:06,891 --> 01:34:08,484
- You all right?
- Yeah.

1927
01:34:10,478 --> 01:34:11,604
You're it!

1928
01:34:48,766 --> 01:34:50,734
Tag, brother!

1929
01:34:52,937 --> 01:34:54,985
You're it!

1930
01:34:55,148 --> 01:34:56,946
- I'm it?
- You're it?

1931
01:34:57,859 --> 01:34:59,156
Now you're it.

1932
01:34:59,319 --> 01:35:01,697
You got me. No way!

1933
01:35:04,115 --> 01:35:06,618
- Not bad? Pretty hot?
- Wow.

1934
01:35:17,086 --> 01:35:19,134
You're it!

1935
01:35:21,966 --> 01:35:23,263
Yeah, baby.

1936
01:35:25,094 --> 01:35:27,643
Hey, fucker. You're it!

1937
01:35:29,641 --> 01:35:31,393
You're it! Yeah!

1938
01:35:32,644 --> 01:35:34,066
You're it, baby!

1939
01:37:31,763 --> 01:37:36,860
Once, there was a kid who

1940
01:37:37,018 --> 01:37:41,524
Got into an accident
and couldn't come to school

1941
01:37:41,689 --> 01:37:47,446
But when he finally came back

1942
01:37:47,612 --> 01:37:54,336
His hair turned
from black into bright white

1943
01:37:56,537 --> 01:37:59,962
He said that it was from when the cars

1944
01:38:00,124 --> 01:38:05,346
Had smashed him so hard

1945
01:38:16,849 --> 01:38:21,730
Once, there was this girl who

1946
01:38:21,896 --> 01:38:26,948
Wouldn't go and change
with the girls in the change room

1947
01:38:27,110 --> 01:38:32,367
- But when they finally made her

1948
01:38:32,532 --> 01:38:38,915
They saw red marks all over her body

1949
01:38:41,332 --> 01:38:44,256
She couldn't quite explain it

1950
01:38:44,419 --> 01:38:50,597
They'd always just been there

1951
01:38:50,967 --> 01:38:53,686
Baa, baa, baa, baa

1952
01:38:53,761 --> 01:38:56,560
Baa, baa, baa, baa

1953
01:38:56,681 --> 01:38:59,651
Ooh

1954
01:38:59,725 --> 01:39:01,352
Yeah

1955
01:39:01,769 --> 01:39:06,570
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey

1956
01:39:12,655 --> 01:39:17,252
Both the girl and the boy were glad

1957
01:39:17,994 --> 01:39:23,376
'Cause one kid had it worse than that

1958
01:39:41,017 --> 01:39:45,193
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey

1959
01:39:48,983 --> 01:39:54,160
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

1960
01:39:54,322 --> 01:39:59,203
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah

1961
01:40:02,997 --> 01:40:04,169
- You're it.
- Fucker!

1962
01:40:21,849 --> 01:40:22,850
English - SDH