Hey Shakra, great stuff in this thread. Was wondering if I could request a special commission piece? It's kind of a specific thing I have in mind.

So there's an 8-bit George W Bush, he's in the Oval office, but it's made of Dollar Bill background. Maybe the desk be Gold Leaf? Not sure if that's accurate, I'll leave that up to you.

Bush will be flicking off the Nintendo Logo with his left (viewers' right? I need to doublecheck this from my notes) and his right hand will also be flicking off the Nintendo Logo and also holding an I-phone where he's playing Angry Birds. Also, Bush will be dressed in Steam Punk.

Now all of that will be painted, on cardboard of course, and the painting will be in a painting where it's being held by a Munny dressed like Snoop Dog (the rapper) and he's saying "For Rezzle? Wizzle Segaizzle Genesis is the best." in Impact Font (is it possible to paint in a font? Again, I'm not sure in the logistics of all this.) The center figure of Snoop should seem somewhat enhappyed, but also reticent.

All of this will be painted on an actual physical Apple Computer Macbook Laptop, and should be made out of cardboard, and the Macbook Logo should be still visible. It should measure 72"x48", or whatever the actual dimensions of a Macbook is. edit: are.

You'll be doing this painting, embarking on this Artistic journey into the unknown, and I'll be there with you, as your humble patron and art assistant. This work, your Magnum Opal (?), will surely require a kingly sum of cardboard and acrylic paint. I will be there, with you, handing you brushes, acrylic paints, and indeed your canvases, by which I mean scraps of cardboard.

You're working at a feverish pace now, breatheing the very Life into Munny Snoop Dog's eyes. MAgicalizzle.

As you get more and more absorbed into your work, you'll start to feel the burn, the delightful fire of great accomplishment and expenditure, there's sweat running down your back and chest, soaking your hair and dripping into your eyes. I'll hand you a rag to wipe off your face, and you'll towel yourself down impulsively before noticed that the rag is soaked with human piss.

"What the...?" you'll ask yourself, "This rag is soaked with piss? I just wiped a piss soaked rag all over my face? Why would my patron hand me a piss soaked rag to dry myself off with?"

But you'll shrug it off and put your nose "back to the grindstone," so to speak. You'e back "in the groove," painting with renewed vigor, tracing the corporate logos with a deft hand. Soon you'll grow thirsty, and need refreshment, as well as quenching. But the Sobe bottle I hand you will be filled with piss, and likewise the energy bars I pass to you will be actually pieces of solid human waste.

"I am an artist, a great artist," you'll tell yourself. "Why is this man trying to get me to consume his piss and shit? I am an artist!"

Soon I will be close behind you as you work, directly pissing onto your body. You'll imagine it is a cool spring rain, at first, yet soon you will be soaked with my piss. As I gain confidence, I will piss and shit on you with increased frequency.

"I am an artist, I am an artist," you shout, as if to remind yourself. "I don't deserve this kind of treatment."

But questions of justice and deserving are entirely irrelevant, because the pissing and shitting will continue, regardless.

Soon, you will have lost all sense of your humanity, lost your agency all together, left as nothing more than an object, a recipient of my piss and shit. I will have reduced you to a human toilet.

Then the second phase of the artwork will begin.

I will begin to alter your physical form to match your interior state, as a toilet. Your torso will be encased in porcelain (actually cardboard painted to look like porcelain, I find cardboard to be the ideal artistic material). Your body will be frozen in a seated position, your femurs will be reshaped into the circular lip of a toilet bowl, and your now vestigal artist's arms will be removed. Your head will protrude from the top of the tank, eyes open, to allow you to witness and internalize your current state, as an actual toilet.

But what is the ideal location to display such an ambitious, exciting work of art? Surely not in a stuffy old museum or gallery? No, your piece will at Dave and Busters.

You will be planted in a Dave and Busters mens' restroom. You will be a pay toilet. Adult man children nerds will stuff dollar bills in your mouth, which your will gum impotently while they sit on you and fill you with piss and shit. Fat, sweaty nerds will enter, still moist from extended Dance Dance Sessions and their sweaty buttcheeks will stick to your thighs. They will evacuate their bowels yet steaming and burning with the fire of greasy french fries, burgers, dozens of fried chicken wings. Dirty paper currency will be forced through your lips and down your throat as you stare at the heaving backs of your infantile obese customers. You will say to yourself "I am an artist I am an artist an artist I am an artist" as you sit in this bathroom for the rest of your days.

For this I would be willing to pay as much as $85. Thanks, Sharka, hope we can figure someting out

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