Ten Years Chasing A Dream (ch5)

EARLY RELEASE FOR ALL MY PATRONS!!

Now that Maya knows where she is in her life (and Claudine's), she's somehow going to have to juggle her 28-year-old mindset inside a 17-year-old body.

Disclaimer: I do not own Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight.

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						Chapter 5. Blinded

And so, in the days and weeks to come, Maya lives her life again.

Only this time, she lives it better, at least in terms of treating Claudine like the girlfriend and near-fiancee she'd once almost been to her.

Though Maya does allow her present 17-year-old self to live as she should, whenever it comes to Claudine, her 28-year-old mindset would often kick in with the want to pamper and compliment and be close to Claudine in an effort to make up for all the years when Maya had so foolishly neglected her.

In their lecture classes, Maya is still well-versed and gets very high marks, oftentimes the highest in the class. She's knowledgeable with the content they study, perhaps because she'd lived this life before somehow.

But that doesn't mean she slacks off this time around and allows her pre-existing memories and experiences to speak for her current life. Maya still works herself hard each and every day in every department, mainly for theatre, of course. She sings and dances and acts more brilliantly than ever, and everyone in the school admires her to some degree, be it to the point of envy or adoration.

But more than she focuses on her studies or her acting, Maya focuses on her partner.

Of course they still have their competitions and rivalry. No amount of time warps or alternate dimensions or any other kind of phenomena would be able to disrupt the relationship forged between the two of them.

Claudine still huffs and snaps at her and challenges her to every little thing, or stubbornly refuses to admit when Maya does something more impressively than she does. But she always offers Maya compliments in the end, no matter how pouty or laced with feigned animosity they may be.

And in turn, Maya responds differently than she had in her previous life. It soon becomes that she responds to Claudine with less haughty words and smug expressions, and instead engages in softer, more honest replies. Maya had mistreated her once, and it had been far too many times. She doesn't ever want to make that mistake again, or make Claudine upset or hurt.

Therefore, Maya reacts to her in the tenderest of ways, with the kindest looks and the sweetest smiles, rather than the conceited arrogance Claudine was no doubt used to.

It rightfully flusters her whenever Maya ends up holding her hand out of nowhere, or praising her way too much for a minor accomplishment, or gazing at her with such strong emotions behind her eyes. It always makes her blush and turn away, which only makes Maya fall more and more deeply in love with her.

One morning, Maya is more eager than ever to get out of bed so she might see Claudine yet again today. She rushes a bit with her own grooming and hurries out into the hallway to await her.

Of course, Claudine takes her time with her morning prep, so Maya ends up waiting quite a few minutes until her door finally opens. But it's all so worth the wait to see her emerge, glowing and full of energy to meet the day.

Even weeks into this new life, seeing her smile every morning still brings tears to Maya's eyes.

She can't remember the last time in her previous life when she'd seen Claudine smile or be eager to wake up and greet the world. Rather, Claudine had probably continued to do so for a while, but eventually Maya had stopped looking, and so before long Claudine had stopped finding joy in the new mornings.

But presently, Claudine grins as she greets her fellow classmates who walk by.

"Bonjour~ Let's do our best again today, all right?"

And it isn't just their close friends who Claudine greets, but every classmate or junior or senior who might pass her by. She's so kind and considerate of every single person, regardless of her relationship with them or lack thereof. But when her eyes finally wander across the hall to Maya, Claudine's gaze twitches in mild annoyance just for a second before she's stomping over in outrage.

"And just what do you think you're doing walking around looking like that?" Claudine stops in front of Maya with her arms crossed and chides her. "You're a complete mess, Tendo Maya! Here, hold still-"

Claudine reaches out to her, and Maya freezes when her hands near her face. Though Claudine's words and energy are charged, her touch is so gentle as she smooths Maya's unkempt hair for her, tucking loose locks that Maya hadn't cared to comb behind her ears. Claudine mutters in French to herself in exasperation as she circles Maya, adjusts her ribbon behind her head, and then comes back around to the front of her to fix her uniform's ribbon as well.

And all throughout Claudine's fussing, Maya holds herself back for as long as possible before she just can't contain herself any longer.

"Saijou-san, you're looking more beautiful than ever this morning." Maya catches Claudine's hand as she's pulling it away, and instead pulls it back in to leave a warm kiss on the back of it. Claudine makes a startled yelp in the back of her throat as several other girls passing by take note and gasp or giggle.

"Tendo-san and Saijou-san!"

"They're so stunning!"

"How bold!"

Maya holds the kiss to Claudine's hand a bit longer than necessary. And to Claudine, to have kissed her at all like this wasn't necessary to begin with. She yanks her hand away from Maya all too soon.

"What in the world are you doing, you creep?"

"Forgive me," Maya says, bowing forward a little. "Your beauty is simply beyond compare, Claudine. I couldn't resist."

"Well, start resisting!" Claudine snaps. "Still saying things like that out-of-the-blue… and who said you could use my first name?"

"My apologies."

"Mechante va!" Claudine takes a step back and whirls around. "Come, on then! Let's go eat."

Maya smiles and eagerly follows to walk at her side. She once again takes Claudine's hand, to which Claudine responds by pulling away.

Such was the case about half the time. Depending on where they were on campus or what time of day it was; if Maya would grab her hand, Claudine would pull away.

But the other half of the time she would allow the contact, and once or twice over the weeks, she'd even squeeze back softly.

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Another day at lunchtime, Claudine is just taking her seat with a tray of food and a bowl of soup when she accidentally loses her grip on the tray as she's placing it down. The hot soup spills down over her left hand and wrist, and she lets out a short yelp of surprise more than pain.

But before anyone else can even ask if she's all right, Maya is up from her seat and already rounding the table to be by her side immediately.

"Claudine-!" In her worry, she reverts instantly to the intimacy of using Claudine's first name. "Are you all right? Are you burned?" Maya is already grabbing a handful of napkins and holding them tightly over Claudine's wrist. Before Claudine can even react or answer her, Maya continues fretting. "Do you feel dizzy? Perhaps you should sit down. No, I'll bring you to the nurse." And with that Maya puts an arm around her back tenderly and begins guiding Claudine out of the cafeteria.

Claudine is so overwhelmed by such a serious reaction from Maya that she's too baffled to protest until they're already out in the hallway.

"H-Hey! Tendo Maya, calm down!" Claudine manages to wriggle her hand away from Maya's grasp and remove the napkins. "It's not burned or anything, just a bit red. I'm perfectly fine."

"But does it hurt?" Maya asks, rubbing the small of her back softly.

Claudine huffs.

"Well it was hot. Of course it hurts. But not that much. You don't have to make such a big deal out of it. It's not going to kill me."

And of course Claudine doesn't know. She has no idea what those words do to Maya, what nightmares they bring up. But Maya can't help herself.

"I'm… sorry…" Her formal speech vanishes, and all at once she pulls Claudine into a hug. She wraps one arm tightly across Claudine's shoulders and the other across her back, pulling her in as close as possible, just to feel her, just to know she is safe.

Claudine, on the other hand, sputters, not knowing anything of the truth.

"H-Hey! Tendo Maya! What's with you, doing this kind of thing recently?" She lifts her hands up a little bit, at first to try and gently nudge Maya away, but Maya refuses to let her go.

Claudine doesn't know what's gotten into her, if there's trouble with her parents or something else, but she doesn't want to be too cruel to her. So she lets Maya hug her for a moment, despite how stiff and confused she herself is feeling.

Maya continues murmuring apologies into her hair.

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…"

Claudine mumbles back a bit awkwardly.

"It's fine. You don't need to apologize so seriously. You just overreacted to something so minor. I'm fine, Tendo Maya. Honestly. It doesn't even hurt anymore."

She gives a small pat to Maya's side in hopes of pacifying her. But Maya continues to hold her without any indication that she'll let go anytime soon. Claudine glances around to ensure no one else is nearby before allowing it to continue.

"You know… If there's something going on… something troubling you… you should talk to the teachers or the guidance counselor. Or if that's too much pressure… you could talk to me, if you have to."

And this is exactly why. This is exactly why Maya is falling for her so much harder this time around. Because even though Claudine knows nothing of Maya's true situation - be it a suffocating home life or a leap 10 years back in time - Claudine is still offering to help her in any way she can think of.

Even though they are still 'rivals'. Even though they still barely know each other from her perspective. Claudine still wants to help her in any way she can.

"Claudine…" Maya whispers. "You are… so wonderful… more than I could ever hope to express…"

By now, if Maya is spouting lines like that, Claudine can assume she's feeling a bit better, so she eases away from her.

"You're such a weirdo," she sighs.

Maya quickly wipes her sleeve across her eyes to dry any lingering wetness and offers a sincere smile.

"Please allow me to bring you to the nurse just to be safe."

"Fine. If only so the nurse herself can tell you there's nothing to worry about."

And sure enough that's exactly what the nurse tells them after putting a bit of ointment on Claudine's wrist. Claudine has a goading moment of 'I told you so,' to which Maya just gazes adoringly back at her.

And on their walk back to the cafeteria, Maya cups Claudine's hand gently in hers, and Claudine lets her.

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Another day, during one of their more intense dance lessons, Claudine has been tossing around the usual comments to spark a fire in Maya's competitive side and further motivate her to work harder.

"Come on!" Claudine laughs as she and Maya move swiftly and sharply across the studio together. "Is that really all you've got, Tendo Maya? At this rate I'll take that top position from you by next week!"

They whirl into yet another spin, working separately from the rest of the class, who has given them ample space. Maya still feels that ember ignite within her chest when Claudine gives her that encouragement, and she does begin to move a bit more intensely in their steps.

But more than anything, nothing can overpower the affections she feels for Saijou Claudine. It's yet another instance of her older mindset taking precedence, and she allows much softer and gentler words to meet Claudine's fiery comments.

"Claudine… you truly are so dazzling. Your movements, your voice, your eyes… I could do well to get lost in all of you. In fact, I'd prefer it more than anything else."

Claudine is a bit irked by her response. Though she blushes at the flattering comments, she wants Maya to playfully insult her back and give her that same feisty energy.

"Now's not the time for that dribble!" she huffs, following as Maya leads her into another turn. "Focus on the dance! If you get distracted as the one leading, then you're just going to drag me down with you!"

Claudine hopes that Maya might react to that and say something about going ever higher instead of downward, of boasting about her own accomplishments. But again, Maya's words are only for her.

"Even when I am unfocused, you compensate for it, Claudine. You cover my mistakes and turn the focus to something else, or add in something impromptu to make everyone instantly forget the mishap. You are so clever, so quick-witted, so capable… and have I mentioned your beauty?"

"You have," Claudine huffs. "And I almost wish you'd give it a rest, already."

Maya finishes their number by easing Claudine back into a dip, supporting her securely. After all the rigorous, nonstop movement, the stillness at the end allows her to feel how Claudine is trembling slightly from the intensity of it all. She's breathing quite hard, and Maya can once again feel her pulse pounding in her back.

Maya hovers over her for a moment too long, simply staring as Claudine blushes redder and redder. Maya was supposed to let her up, but Claudine can't take it and pushes herself up instead to move away from her.

"Seriously! You're so-" She doesn't get to finish, because Maya takes one of her hands again and sweeps her into another intimate hold.

"Shall we wind down a little?" Maya proposes, already swaying into a waltz with her.

Claudine is all too aware of everyone watching them now.

"Idiot! We're supposed to stop there! We don't need to do a waltz, too!"

But Maya is already set in pulling her into one.

"Allow me to be selfish," she murmurs, sounding a bit more like her old self. "I want to dance with you, Claudine."

Claudine can hardly refuse, less because she wants to and more because she simply doesn't know how to react to such a statement, especially when Maya had said it in such earnest. So she keeps quiet and follows her in the waltz, which earns praise from their instructor and classmates. When they've finished and everyone has turned to leave the studio, Maya pulls Claudine into a hug and keeps her close.

"Claudine…" she sighs.

After so many weeks she still can't believe it sometimes. That Claudine is alive and well with her. Maya loves feeling her body heat and her pulse, loves hearing her breathe or speak or hiccup or make any kind of sound at all, loves seeing all kinds of emotions on her face and in her eyes-

"A-All right!" Claudine gives Maya a light shove and pushes her back. "That's enough! I'm going to change…" And with this Claudine hurries away before Maya can stop her.

Maya knows that soon, the revues will begin. She supposes that even right now, she is already in the middle of one of Nana's many endless time loops. But even though she knows of them, Maya won't breathe a word of her knowledge of any of this for the sake of not interfering with or changing anything else about this life.

Her only purpose here is to love Claudine sooner and more fully than before, therefore anything that happens with the revues or Nana or Hikari or anyone else won't change how Maya goes through her life.

But until all of that begins, she wants to keep showering Claudine with affection every chance she gets, both to make up for her past when she had neglected her, and to hope Claudine will fall in love with her as quickly as possible, too.

With her thoughts sorted, Maya heads off to the locker room, and proceeds to compliment Claudine's hair and her skin and her eyes until Claudine, once again, has to hurry away before she overheats any further.

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When the revues inevitably begin, and the eight selected girls are summoned to the underground stage for the first time, Maya shudders deeply to gaze upon the giraffe.

She believes he regards her with about the same amount of interest as any of the others as he explains the rules and rewards of the revues, but something far down in Maya's soul knows that he remembers her from the future that never happened. But neither she nor he ever reveal anything that confirms or denies their prior relationship or deal.

Perhaps they have already lived through this a hundred times, since Nana's time loops had started back to before Maya had been aware of herself in this new life. But as far as she is aware, this is the 'first' time she's done this or fought in any of these revues, and as such she gives them everything she's got.

She cuts down her fellow Stage Girls and friends one after the other, until it's inevitable that she must face Claudine.

And even then, even when they are forced to fight and ruthlessly rob each other of their radiance, Maya can't let on that she knows the true outcome of all of this. She has to fight seriously and defeat Claudine like she once did.

Though, this time around, she does so with much more regret. Not regret to advance higher in the world of the theatre, but regret to act harshly toward Claudine in any way. Even when she must defeat her, Maya does so as gently as possible, reaching out an arm to support her so she won't fall, or offering her hand to help her back up if she does.

Not at all like the arrogant girl she'd been in the past, even if that arrogance did always hide a genuine interest and deep respect.

Even when Claudine gives her all, her furious passion, her most intense fights, Maya always responds with care. She doesn't want to hurt her, but she knows she'll have to in terms of these revues. She knows she must win and face off against Nana, and then lose to her, at least until Hikari transfers in.

But she believes that 'this' present time is the only timeline she'll remember of Nana's loops, so she expects Hikari to arrive in just a few more weeks to change things and allow the nine of them to progress forward.

But until then, Maya continues doing as she'd intended, treating Claudine as sweetly as possible, be it in class or after, on the aboveground stage or the underground one. She casts her the most longing glances, speaks to her with the kindest warmth, touches her with the most genuine affection.

Always. At any time, in any place.

She does all she possibly can in order to repent for the time she had wasted before, for all the years she had made Claudine cry and suffer alone, thinking Maya no longer loved her. She doesn't want Claudine to ever live a second of her life this time thinking that. She wants Claudine to know she loves her, wholly and purely.

Therefore, Maya continues looking at her in class, and dancing with her in lessons, and hugging her in the locker room or in the hallway. She continues fretting over every little thing, continues offering to feed her at meal times or to wash her hair for her in the showers or to sit beside her in the evenings in the lounge.

And still, half the time Claudine pulls away and snaps at her and blushes.

But the other half, she stays and lets Maya do all of these things.

Even the few mornings after Maya had defeated her in a revue the night before, Claudine can't possibly act coldly toward her when Maya is so intent on being close to her and showering her with praise and affection.

It continues for several more weeks, now with the revues to juggle here or there in between. Maya will stop at nothing to make her love known, and to show it to Claudine every chance she gets.

Like before, in another life, she is entirely dedicated to and focused on her goal.

So much so that, once again, it blinds her to Claudine's true feelings…

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A/N: Maya is no longer the "Maya" she once was to Claudine. Instead of being the haughty, conceited partner and rival, now she is highly affectionate and tender toward her. It's no wonder Claudine is taken aback.