dura journal

My family's never been much for keeping clear written records. I want to break that tradition. I already broke plenty. What's one more? Leaving Rintlan how I did was the one that felt the worst. The others don't feel as bad.

After ~~two~~, five years I'll be coming back. Not permanently. There's an old Imperial facility there and the chance to regain something lost. An expedition. I have to account for every detail. I have to. If I don't, that's another danger I'm putting people through. Poor planning kills. I remember Our Stories. Mom would never let me forget.

I want to go there before the expedition to make sure the information is good. Then if it's not? It's on my head. I don't even know if I should go home while I'm there. I miss it. All of it. What would I even say to them? What would they say to me after the way I left? I don't want to think about it, but I think about it anyway.

Are they all still alive? I know the attacks were less than they once were. We were finally starting to win. Gul turned old enough to do his tour on the Walls while I've been away. I should've wrote to them. Done something. I don't want to think about that either.

~~Gul. If you're ever reading this. I'm sorry.~~

There's too much to do. We can fix it. I know we can. I made the right choice. I know it. I'll have more to show for it than a medal with someone else's name when I see them again. I can't face them like that.