TLDR at bottom, although I think the story is worth reading.

*There are two sections- the story, and the lesson. I will refer to the transgender person as "her and she" for sake of uniformity.

************************************STORY******************************************

Friday night I went to a club in one of the more posh cities in the US. We have one of the best bar scenes in the nation which is filled with the gorgeous women our university is known for attracting.

I'm with a group of about 10-15 people, both male and female, and all incredibly eligible as far as dating is concerned...we get into the clubs without waiting in line, no covers, free drinks...the whole deal. It's important to note that none of us have difficulty getting dates. (I'll periodically self-compliment throughout this post, but as this is anonymous hopefully it will be recognized as contributory to the story and not narcissistically-inclined...I gain nothing from bragging here.)

Anyway...I'm with this group of young professionals and we're all drinking, flirting, and having a good time. I was talking with a couple of my buddies and notice two beautiful Asian women sitting on the patio of arguably the best bar around. My friends take notice just as a guy walks up, starts talking with them, and clearly doesn't capture much attention. By the time their conversation ended my friends had moved on to another section of the room, but I saw their table open up and walked over to introduce myself. They were incredibly down-to-earth and receptive relative to their attraction, and after making a few jokes I got the phone number of the one I considered more appealing. She tells me that she is in town until Tuesday and would love to make time for us to go out before she leaves.

I text her the next day (Saturday) and get no response. I finally receive a message Sunday and we begin to make plans. She asks me for a picture, I assume to show her friends, and I ask for one in return. She sends me a few normal shots, then one or two in a bikini and work-out clothes. She has a great body- thigh gap, almost comically-slim waist with great hips and one of the better chests I've ever seen. We appoint a time for me to pick her up, but she stipulates that we visit her friend in the hospital before we go out, as this was what brought her into town.

I pick her up at the hotel and she walks out to my car looking gorgeous. I walk up to give her a hug and open the door, and she gives me a particularly comfortable embrace and kisses me on the cheek. This struck me as very out of form. First physical contact, especially when sober, is always a bit awkward, and we all know that attractive women tend to play aloof and don't put forth any more effort than they have to. I took note but didn't think too much of it. We drive toward the hotel and she asks if we can make a top at the grocery store so that she can buy her friend flowers for us to take in. I oblige, and she offers to run in and come back out to the car when she's done. My phone goes off a minute after she goes into the store asking if I need anything. Another kind gesture, but completely out of character for a woman who is a 9+ on the 1-10 scale. I respond that I don't, but before the message sends she double-texts "Like drinks or anything?" At this point I'm concerned...no woman ever needs to put herself up on a silver platter this way and offer to facilitate the intoxication process. For the first time it crosses my mind that this might not be a woman.

We drive to the hospital and she mentions having no idea which building her friend is in. I considered going to medical school and have spent quite a bit of time in hospitals, so I tell her that her friend is likely in the emergency room and offer to drop her off there and go park. This is, of course, complete garbage, but it gives me enough time to drive to the back of the parking garage and text two of my friends pictures to see what they think. One of these is my best friend who has a strong radar for these sorts of things and I can trust to give a conservative opinion, and the other who is Asian and has an Asian wife he can consult on the matter for a second opinion. Both message me back saying that they would have never even considered that possibility, and that if "she" is a "he", they would have both also been fooled. The Asian friend says that even if "she" is a "he", that she is so attractive that most of his friends would go with it anyway.

I go into the hospital, and long story short we have to walk across two buildings to find her friend. We make conversation along the way, and at some point she makes the comment that I have beautiful, big eyes. The same is true for her, and I offer the same genuine compliment. She responds by saying that if we ever had children, they would have beautiful eyes. I ask if she planned on having kids, and she mentioned that her she always wanted to and that her parents couldn't wait for grandkids, but that she was hesitant to ruin her body with a pregnancy...pretty much what every single man in his late 20's wants to hear.

We meet her friend who is a completely normal, domestic housewife with 3 kids and a husband. She thanks me so much for coming to the hospital and mentions that my date has been her best friend for the last 15 years. At one point this woman also makes the comment that we would have beautiful children. My mind is more or less calmed at this point, as these platitudes seem like normal female banter, and the fact that they both referred to procreation seems like solid evidence to me that I was just being paranoid. I confidently pushed the notion aside and moved forward in comfort as we left the hospital room, holding her hand and rubbing her back affectionately from this point on. It is important to note that there was absolutely no physical indicator that had created any concern up to this point...it was simply the behavioral traits mentioned that lead to suspicion.

We get to the wine bar which was our final destination and order a few glasses and some cheese. The conversation was absolutely fantastic... I had never felt more welcome to simply offer stream-of-thought dialogue in a first date situation with someone so physically impressive. Everything that I said seemed to be right, insightful, and thought-provoking to her. I paid the check and we left the bar to go back to her hotel to carry on the conversation. We get back to her place and she insists that we talk by the pool. This is clearly not what I wanted to hear, but I entertain the idea for a while before proposing that we go up to her room, which she agrees to.

We get it up to her room and sit on the bed and start making out. I noticed that kissing her didn't feel passionate at all in the way that it had with my ex girlfriend, but I didn't really think much of it. As we are kissing I begin to feel around, and she quickly grabs my hand as it was making its way toward her legs. She protests saying that she doesn't "do that on the first date". This gesture reintroduced the concern I previously had, and I resolve to determine the outcome of the situation immediately. She had been straddling my leg, and I begin to drive my thigh into her pelvis the way women enjoy in the throes of passion. She let out a loud "Ow!" I immediately tucked my turgid penis into my skinny chinos and told her that we had moved too quickly, leaving the hotel room and heading straight home.

I got home, took a shower, and washed my mouth out with vodka. I say this not to sound mean, but this activity reflects the degree of distress that I was experiencing at that point in time.

I sent her a message to verify what I had concluded and offer tactful confrontation over the situation. I have an extremely strong sense of empathy and would feel terrible about leading anyone to commit suicide, which I understand is a prevalent issue in the transgender community, so my expression was restrained accordingly.

I answered: "You behaved entirely inappropriately tonight. It is entirely wrong to misrepresent yourself to someone in an intimate setting."

To which she responded: "You just made out with a man. I hope you kill yourself, you fucking fag."

****************************************LESSON***************************************

Many of these people recognize that the gender they claim to identify with does not reflect reality. As was apparent in my experience, an aesthetic veneer was presented throughout the attraction process which was displaced upon being found out, exposing the genuine self-impression revealed in the vitriolic outburst upon even the most polite of confrontations.

I have shared this experience three times: With my best friend- through an anonymous post on a general Reddit forum, and here in the r/JordanPeterson subreddit.

The feedback that I've gotten has been both relieving and disturbing.

The relieving component is in the sense that I have been told universally that this type of thing doesn't reflect any underlying issues in my psychology or sexual preferences, that this type of thing is common and that I was preyed upon.

The disturbing part is much more pronounced as a societal indicator. I have received indignant chastisement for even suggesting that a transgender person has the responsibility to disclose their gender to prospective partners before beginning intimate relationships. The language that I have used, being conjunctive with the language used in the above rendition of the story, has been criticized as "transphobic" and "bigoted", "prejudiced", "hateful", etc. The fact that I handled the situation with an inordinate degree of tenderness and was met with "Kill yourself, fag" seems to go entirely unnoticed. The fact that I was sexually violated (this has been affirmed by several transgender people on Reddit who believe that disclosure is absolutely morally necessary) seems to exist as a tertiary detail in the greater universe that is my disinclination to have sex with anything which was once a man, and the fact that this decision isn't respected or enforced in our culture. I've received reproach for my refusal to simply proceed forward in intimacy with someone I do not define to meet the gender criteria of my sexual preferences, and as such I'm finding that the right to have such preferences seems to be stripping away. I'm concerned that in 20 years it will become difficult for kids in school to know the true nature of the girl or boy they are attracted to, and while some would disagree, this is an issue which genuinely matters to humanity.

I'm afraid that we are moving toward a world in which straight men no longer have the right to determine what definition of "woman" we will observe in choosing our partners. It seems that we are finding ourselves in a place in which society will elect the qualities which constitute the female persuasion, and we will be forced to operate within the confines of those parameters as we seek mates. The presentation of personal information is a protected election across many facets of our lives, and it bothers me that

This was a deliberate and calculated assault on my rights as an individual to choose who I am with. Any opposition to this assertion need look no further than the realization that my "date" had that there would have been no date had I known of their past. There are scripts and patterns of deception that are used in these circles...this is a form of predation. I was unprepared for ever needing to be on the defensive in a situation like this, and as unsusceptible as I felt I was, I realized afterward that I was thrown into a game of multi-level chess when I'd only ever played checkers. I was devising strategies for trying to prove or disprove a hypothesis all the while reconciling reality against a very strong desire for intimacy. The date was so seamless and easy because we were both working with male sex-drives. Women have an evolutionary incentive to pump the brakes on fornication...they get pregnant, pass along weak genes, move themselves out of the mating pool without male support, etc... But men don't have these concerns...we are looking to spread our genetics as broadly as nature allows, and two individuals with this common perspective will create a very streamlined road to fornication. I've come to realize that this is a tremendous red flag.

Again, I received support from the friend I shared this with as well as the commenters on my anonymous Reddit post, although I may have earned the lifelong nickname "Richard Dawkins", which any South Park fans might appreciate.

I'm interested in opinions on the broader implications that result from SJWs driving biological and language accommodations which infringe upon the rights of others to live life based upon their own definitions.

TLDR: I was baited into a date and intimacy with a transgender person and berated for my response. This is an indication of wider societal issues which seem to be infringing upon the rights of straight men to define "women" as we will.