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- >She couldn't focus straight.
- >She could hardly breathe.
- >All that was on her mind was getting home on time.
- >Carefully, she dashed to her front door step.
- >There the girl took in a deep breath and fixed her hair.
- >She was going to need to look presentable for this one.
- >Feeling a hot rock lay in the bottom of her gut, she opened up the front door to her apartment.
- >And headed inside.
- >Immediately she was hit by the disgusting rank odor of cigarette smoke.
- >This only added fuel to the already growing stress fire.
- >Whenever there was smoke nothing good was sure to follow.
- "You're late"
- >A cold voice coming from the couch spoke.
- >Her heart jumped down her chest.
- >As she cautiously glanced to the couch she saw the familiar light pink, and dark blue hair of her favorite girl in the world, BonBon.
- >Every few seconds she'd exhale more smoke into the apartment.
- >And sound more annoyed while doing so.
- "Are you deaf?" her tone bitter and angry.
- >N-No, Bonnie" the mint girl pleaded.
- >"I just ha-had my headphones in is all" her heart began to pound in her chest.
- >She needed to keep the peace between them.
- "Answer me when I talk to you." another puff of smoke entered the room.
- "Got it?"
- >The smoke felt like it was clouding her head and smothering her heart.
- >"Y-Yes, Bonnie"
- >Defeated, the mint girl slumped as she took a spot on the couch right next to her chimney of a girlfriend.
- >Right next to where she was letting the smoke fly.
- >It caused her eyes to water and her throat to feel tight.
- >Not as bad as it has been the last few times, but still.
- >There was a little piece of something inside her that made her speak up this time.
- >"B-Bonnie?" even saying her name flipped her stomach upside down.
- >Without even looking towards her, she let out another mouth full of smoke.
- "Yeah Lyra?"
- >She said it as if she was already bored at the first word.
- >"...I-I really wish you wouldn't smoke in here..." Lyra could feel the words making her shiver in fear.
- >A dreadful silence fell over the room.
- >But BonBon let out another toxic-filled puff of smoke.
- "Do you now?"
- >Her words cut right to Lyra's core.
- >"I-I just...it's not goo-good for you...Bonnie" the poor girl stammered out.
- >Lyra's hand was pinching the side of her elbow.
- >She crossed a line.
- >She just knew it.
- "Alright"
- >The simple word came from beside her.
- >Shocked barely described the reaction.
- >Curiously, she glanced over and saw BonBon take one last, long drag of her cigarette.
- >Taking it out of her mouth until it was almost a nub.
- >That's when she rubbed it out on the arm of the couch.
- >Right next to similar looking burn holes.
- "What do you say?"
- >Deep inside, Lyra could feel her optimism slowly fading.
- >That one, tiny bright spot of courage seemed to vanish into thin air.
- >"Th-Thank you Bon-Bonnie"
- >She shrank on the couch as she felt nausea in every part of her body.
- >"I-I-I appreciate that..."
- >Silence filled the room again.
- >BonBon went back to watching her shows.
- >While Lyra sat beside her not moving a muscle.
- "You better" was all the cream-colored girl said in response.
- >She rested her head against her hand and scooted away from Lyra.
- >Leaving one cushion of space between them.
- >Lyra felt cold.
- >She tried to remember the last time her and BonBon hugged.
- >Cuddled.
- >Anything
- >"She...she's just been busy..." Lyra justified her girlfriend's actions.
- >The image of her sofa arm covered in black cigarette burn holes stayed in her mind.
- >"Yeah...busy" she repeated to herself.
- >She was getting lost in memories again.
- >They were more pleasant than dealing with the reality before her.
- "You gonna make dinner or what?" BonBon's annoyed tone broke the silence once more.
- >With a hop in her step, Lyra quickly stepped up from the couch.
- >An anxiety bomb was threatening to go off in her chest.
- >As she crossed BonBon's path she felt a force on her wrist keep her in place.
- >Snapping her head towards her hand.
- >She saw BonBon's fingers wrapped tight around her wrist.
- >With BonBon giving her the most serious stare she's ever seen.
- "Don't. Burn. It."
- "Okay?"
- >She tightened her grip on Lyra's wrist so hard that the poor mint colored girl was nodding her head as hard as she could.
- >Anything to stop BonBon.
- >And just as soon as it started she let go.
- >Letting Lyra stumble away towards the kitchen.
- >Deathly afraid to fail.
- >A short time later she had everything going.
- >The roast.
- >The potatoes.
- >And even a small dessert for later.
- >If BonBon was feeling up to it.
- >It was her favorite dessert after all.
- >Sticky Sweet Buns.
- >Even just holding them brought back a bunch of warm memories to Lyra.
- >How her and BonBon would have so much fun in a kitchen trying out different recipes for the perfect sweet bun.
- >The flour fights.
- >Booping each other's nose with glaze.
- >Feeling happy just being around her.
- >She had no idea what happened.
- >Things just...changed.
- >Lyra was broken from her trip down memory lane when a horrid smell entered her nostrils.
- >Instantly she felt her soul freeze solid.
- >She couldn't breathe.
- >Dashing over to the oven, she confirmed what she didn't want to be true.
- >She opened the oven and a small billow of black smoke escaped into the kitchen.
- >The outside of the roast looked like charcoal.
- >There had to be something Lyra could do to salvage this.
- >But all her thoughts were jumbled by her panicking.
- >She froze in place just staring at the roast.
- >Hoping a miracle would happen.
- "Lyra!" shouted from behind her.
- >It was BonBon.
- >The all too familiar smell of nicotine mixed in with the burnt food smell.
- >It was making Lyra light-headed.
- >She didn't want to turn around and face BonBon, but it wasn't like she had any other choice.
- >As she slowly turned around she caught a glimpse of a lit cigarette between BonBon's fingers.
- >She took one look at her face and almost puked.
- >Her angry vein was popped up against her forehead.
- >Lyra swallowed hard as her insides felt like they were on fire.
- >She pinched her arm hard to calm down, but it wasn't working.
- "Did you burn the goddamn dinner Lyra?"
- >She jabbed an accusing finger in her direction.
- >Cigarette still in hand.
- >Lyra was a deer caught in a bear trap.
- >She was hoping to bleed out before the hunter returned though.
- >Sadly not the case.
- >She shut her eyes tight and gently nodded her head.
- >Anything to end this nightmare.
- "What was the one thing I asked you to do Lyra?"
- "Don't burn dinner, and what do you do?"
- >She walked to the still open oven with the blackened roast still inside.
- "You fucking burnt it."
- >BonBon slapped her free hand against her face and sighed in disgust.
- "Unbelievable" she yelled as she paced back and forth in front of her scared girlfriend.
- >Lyra wanted to run so badly.
- >But her legs glued her to the kitchen.
- "And after I put my smoke out after you got up my ass about it!"
- "I figured you'd at least return that kindness to me, but I can see I was way fucking wrong wasn't, Lyra?"
- >Her screaming was in full force now.
- >Bad feelings and memories were weighing Lyra down.
- >This was a nightmare.
- >A real life nightmare.
- >She wanted to curl up on the floor and hide.
- >But before she could lift a finger.
- >She felt that same tightness around her wrist from earlier.
- >Snapping her eyes wide open she came face to face with the fury of BonBon.
- >Brow furrowed deeply.
- >Mouth curled into a snarl.
- >Her dark blue eyes piercing Lyra's very being.
- >"Bonnie, you're hurting me" Lyra pleaded.
- >BonBon just squeezed her wrist even tighter.
- >Gone was the subtlety and restraint from BonBon's eyes.
- >Instead in it's place was pure hatred.
- >Evil, ugly, hatred.
- >She bent Lyra's wrist up and pinched it in place.
- >A yelp of pain escaped Lyra's throat.
- >She was cowering in fear.
- >Tears were pooling in her eyes.
- >That's when BonBon brought her face slightly closer.
- >She put her cigarette back in her mouth.
- >Took a quick puff and spit a fog of smoke right in Lyra's face.
- >The mint girl's eyes stung as tears poured down the sides of her face.
- >"B-Bonnie..."
- *Cough*
- >There was nothing in Lyra to fight back.
- >She wasn't strong enough to break away.
- >Bonbon's grip was too vice-like
- >With the bottom of Lyra's arm still exposed.
- >And with BonBon not breaking eye contact with Lyra.
- >She began to move her lit cigarette over the part where wrist meets hand.
- >Lyra could feel the heat coming from the cancer stick.
- >A cold sweat broke out across her forehead.
- >Then without warning, BonBon pressed the cigarette into Lyra's wrist.
- >Twisting her hand to keep it steady.
- >Lyra wailed.
- >The burning sensation was indescribable.
- >All the nerves in her brain were firing all at once.
- >She needed to run.
- >To flee.
- >But the more she tried to get away.
- >The stronger BonBon's grip became.
- >"Bonnie plea- AHHHHH!" her voice broke as her yell echoed throughout her apartment.
- >Her knees buckled as she collapsed to the floor.
- >Wrist still held by BonBon.
- >Her entire being was trembling.
- >It was too much.
- >But, the burning sensation dulled slightly.
- >Lyra forced herself to look up to see BonBon pulling the smoke away.
- >She took one final drag from it as she let it drop on the kitchen tiles.
- "Are you going to burn my dinner again?" smoke poured out of her mouth as she berated Lyra.
- >The shaking girl was trying to cover her face to hide her tears.
- >But to no avail.
- >She sobbed as a pain in her wrist throbbed.
- >Her stomach was nothing but knots.
- >But she still found some small reserve of energy to shake her trembling head no.
- "Good" she let go of Lyra's arm as she quickly held it to her stomach.
- "Because next time I won't stop you little shit" she spat towards Lyra.
- >Lyra didn't want to look at her wrist.
- >She just kept it close to her stomach and applied pressure.
- >It was all she could do.
- >She heard footsteps back towards the living room.
- >Then silence for a second.
- "You better find a way to cover that up before our dinner date with Rarity tomorrow" the order piled on to the increasing burden on Lyra's shoulders.
- >And with that, BonBon slammed Lyra's front door shut.
- >Leaving her apartment smelling like fear, and smoke.
- >Lyra wanted to get up.
- >To go clean herself off in the bathroom.
- >Something.
- >But, her body just refused to.
- >So she did the next best thing.
- >She curled up on the cold, hard floor.
- >And cried until she couldn't cry no more.
- >Maybe then she'll get up.
- >Through blurry eyes she saw something on the floor.
- >Sweet buns plopped upside down.
- >Dropped like they didn't matter.
- >Just like how Lyra fell to the floor.
- >Like she didn't matter.
- >Life felt different outside.
- >Colors seemed bleaker.
- >Sounds seemed duller.
- >It was hard to place her finger on specifics.
- >But then again she hasn't been 100% for quite some time now.
- >She looked down at her hands.
- >The rose-gold bangle on her right hand drew her eye.
- >It brought back memories from last night.
- >And she was certain it showed on her face.
- >Bumps and minor pot holes jostled Lyra around.
- >The bangle on her arm jiggled as well.
- >It was the only thing she could find on short notice that wouldn't arouse any suspicion.
- >She wrapped her other hand around the bangle and held it close.
- >Happy thoughts were what she needed.
- >Not awful memories.
- >The bus had stopped moving.
- >Lyra failed to realize this as she tried to calm down.
- "Lyra?"
- >Quickly she opened her eyes back up and was greeted by a blue, lightning bolt t-shirt.
- >She looked up at the shirt wearer's face.
- >Dark, blue hair styled by hand.
- >Navy blue jeans, and a black, unzipped hoodie.
- >There was no mistaking it.
- >It was one of Lyra's other besties, Flash Sentry.
- >Lyra sat up straight and scooted down a seat.
- >Letting Flash take the spot next to her.
- "Wasn't expecting to see you today" his tone sounded genuinely happy.
- >He placed a guitar shaped case on the seat beside them.
- >I could say the same thing, heh"
- >Flash was the second sweetest person Lyra knew.
- >He was like the gay male friend she never had.
- >Even though she knew he was straight.
- >Still, he treated Lyra like a friend.
- >And that's all she cared about.
- >Flash proceeded to start to unzip the guitar shaped bag and pull out his axe.
- >A solid-body electric guitar with a cherry-sunburst finish.
- >The envy of Lyra's eyes whenever Flash brought it around.
- >"Got a gig tonight?" Lyra asked as Flash began to tune the guitar.
- >He let out a sigh first.
- "No, just another practice." his head drooped slightly.
- "Again"
- >Lyra knew that Flash and his band were having a hell of a time finding their big break.
- >You could say she was sorta the group's roadie.
- >But, sadly she has done much roadie-ing for a while now.
- >Lyra stretched her hand out towards Flash and gave him a reassuring pat on the back.
- >"Just keep your head in there."
- >"You'll find something"
- >The anxiety rotting inside of Lyra always dulled when she could make someone else smile.
- >Especially Flash.
- "Thanks Lyra" he shot her a quick grin and went back to tuning his guitar.
- >A moment past between the two.
- "So how's BonBon?"
- >Easygoing silences were a thing that still stayed out of Lyra's reach.
- >Flashes of last night rushed to the front of her mind.
- >She could still remember how loud she cried.
- >How numb she felt.
- >"She's...she's fine"
- >Lyra looked down at her legs away from Flash.
- >She hoped he would change the subject.
- "She still selling those...honey bun things?" he asked as he strummed a string.
- >Lyra looked at her hands.
- >Small bits of dried up sticky bun glaze were still stuck to them.
- >"Y-Yeah, she is" Lyra lied.
- "Cool, good to hear" he said with his usual Flash enthusiasm.
- >Lyra started to pinch the side of her hand.
- >Around the bangle.
- >Her teeth gritted just a little.
- >That's when she heard a small noise.
- *Clink*
- >Looking down she saw the loose bangle tapped against one of the metal buttons on her purse.
- "Hey"
- >Lyra looked up and saw Flash was focused on her hand.
- "Loving the new bling, Lyra"
- >Her heart felt like it was moving through quicksand.
- >"Heh, th-thanks"
- >"My mom gave it to me"
- >She had to find a way to change the topic and fast.
- >Before Lyra could think of a topic to switch to.
- >She lurched forward as the bus practically hopped in the air.
- >While the driver was cussing under his breath, Lyra noticed her bangle thrown off to a pair of empty seats in front of Flash.
- >The polished surface found a way to reflect a beam of light right onto Flash's guitar.
- >Lyra could see the burn on her wrist.
- >She knew it was there.
- >It was an ugly reminder of awful times.
- >So she had to make sure no one would see it.
- "Hey Lyra,where's that kickin bangle you were wearing?"
- >Lyra slowly started to scoot out of her seat so she could retrieve it.
- >"Oh, heh it fell off after that last bump" she made sure to cover her arm up as well as she could.
- "Isn't that it?" he pointed towards the rose-gold bangle right across from him.
- >"O-Oh, would you look at that" she was growing more anxious the longer the conversation went on.
- >Flash gently placed his guitar to the side and reached over to the fallen piece of jewelry.
- >He grabbed it with ease and sat right back up in his seat.
- "Here" he placed the rose-gold bangle into Lyra's palm.
- >Not noticing she was using her other hand to clench around her wrist.
- >"...Thanks" she sighed.
- >Her head drooped down to her wrist again.
- >She could still feel it.
- >The burning.
- >The smell of burnt skin, and nicotine.
- >Lyra's hand began to tremble.
- >She saw the singed red blister between her fingers.
- >The world was starting to feel like it was closing in.
- >Her lungs unable to breathe.
- >Ice-cold sweat beads rolled down her head.
- >For a brief moment.
- >She thought she saw what looked like a cigarette heading for her wrist.
- >"No!" she flinched as her eyes shut tight.
- >A slight whimper escaping her lips.
- >Lyra's eyes snapped opened when she felt the familiar force of a hand around her wrist.
- >She looked down and saw Flash's hand over the top of it..
- >"You okay?" he asked concerned.
- >Her brain was firing on all cylinders once more.
- >She shook her hand free from his.
- >"Get away from me!"
- >Flash recoiled at Lyra's sudden outburst.
- >Adrenaline was pumping through Lyra.
- >She couldn't calm down.
- >Through her foggy vision she noticed Flash was still continuing to stare at Lyra's wrist.
- >That's when she realized her free hand was busy pinching the side of her elbow.
- >"Oh shit" was all she could think.
- >Because there when she found the strength to look down was the ugly keepsake of what a miserable waste of a person she was.
- >It was a sizable scar.
- >At least the size of a quarter.
- >Colored a sickly combination of yellow, red, and purple.
- >And it was exposed for everyone to see.
- >The hiss of the wind was replaced by a high pitch whine in her ears.
- >A sign.
- >Without missing a beat, Lyra sprang from her seat and charged towards the front of the bus.
- >Thank goodness the bus was stuck moving along at a snail's pace.
- >"Stop the bus" she frantically spat out to the driver.
- "Lady, I ain't stopping this bus in the middle of traffic just for yo-" he turned to explain to Lyra.
- >But he did not realize what he was up against.
- >"I said stop the bus!" she yelled at the top of her lungs.
- >The driver covered his ears as he reached towards the door release lever.
- "Alright, jeez"
- >The door opened and Lyra practically sprinted out.
- >Running through a street of traffic until the bus was just a dot behind her.
- >Ignoring the frantic cries of her name from Flash.
- >She looked down at her naked wrist, and immediately covered it with her free hand.
- >"Shit"
- >The morning air was brisk.
- >Everywhere the grass was practically drenched in a dew.
- >The daily joggers had done their lap through here.
- >Now it was as silent as a monastery
- >The perfect time for someone to be alone.
- >Lyra shivered as she hugged her body for warmth.
- >In a way she enjoyed it.
- >At least she was feeling something.
- >Her stroll lead her to the beginning of a pier.
- >It lead out a bit into the lake, but the top was covered by a morning mist.
- >To an outsider it had the appearance of something you'd see in a magazine.
- >And they'd be right.
- >The place was a sight to behold.
- >A small breeze braced against Lyra's exposed arms once more.
- >She could feel the temperature dropping with each passing minute.
- >Her teeth began to chatter slightly.
- >But aside from that.
- >She felt nothing looking around.
- >The happy, shining light that filled her heart to bursting.
- >Was gone.
- >The memories remained.
- >Joyous laughing under the starlit skies.
- >Picnics where everything just felt magical.
- >Like nothing bad could go wrong.
- >Something changed though.
- >Although, what that thing was.
- >Lyra didn't know.
- >She just knew those days were long gone.
- >Lyra found herself walking out on the pier.
- >Her dainty sneakers making every other board creak.
- >Upon reaching the end.
- >She leaned against one of the posts to her side.
- >Gazing down into the misty water.
- >The depths were hidden from her.
- >It could be ankle deep or it could be a vast wonderland at the bottom.
- >A strange feeling crept up in the back of her mind.
- >She looked down at her feet.
- >They were close near the edge.
- >Just one swift motion and it would all be done.
- >No more numbness.
- >It would finally end.
- >Lyra closed her eyes.
- >She was scared.
- >Terrified.
- >But her foot continued forward.
- >"...Lyra?"
- >"Dear, what are you doing?" came familiar posh voice
- >And in that instance.
- >The world came crashing back down.
- >Like it always did.
- >Without thinking, the cold, and lonely girl turned towards the start of the pier.
- >It was Rarity, purple curls in her hair, dressed to the nines as always.
- >Well, when you compared it to Lyra's thin tank-top, and shorts.
- >One would think it was the highest fashion.
- >"Lyra?" she asked once more.
- >The growing concern in her voice becoming noticeable.
- "Uhh, h-hey Rare..."
- "I was just...uh."
- "Just uh..." Lyra trailed off as she glanced back towards the lake once more.
- >One small move and it would be done.
- >That thought ground up the inside of her stomach
- >"Lyra, I can see you shaking from here."
- >"It's much too cold to be out here like that.
- >A momentary silence filled the air.
- >Then the sound of wooden creaks caused Lyra's hair to stand on its end.
- >And before she knew it, a warm feeling found it's way around Lyra's body.
- >To her sides she saw the material of a fine looking jacket.
- >Accompanied by a gentle squeeze from behind.
- >"Poor thing, you're absolutely frozen" Rarity stated.
- >"Come now, nurse Rarity has blankets and hot cocoa just for situations like this." she held onto Lyra's shoulders.
- >Taking one more look at the lake.
- >Lyra realized her mind was blank.
- >And her stomach wasn't tying itself in knots.
- >She didn't know how to take that, but she did.
- >Rarity slowly helped Lyra turn around.
- >Like a mother deer helping it's child learn how to walk.
- >Upon looking back towards the pier.
- >A sight that turned her blood cold greeted her.
- >BonBon's emotionless glare.
- >Lyra felt her throat close as she struggled to breathe.
- >"Lyra?" Rarity's arms were pushed off as the panicking girl could hardly stay still.
- >She had to get out of here.
- >Taking one step forward however.
- >She failed to remember the jacket that surrounded her back.
- >The sleeve was dangling down towards her feet.
- >One small step was all it took.
- >And in a flash Lyra stumbled backwards.
- >Making a hard splash into the mist-filled lake.
- >If the temperature of the lake wasn't apparent to Lyra before.
- >It was now.
- >Freezing icicles stabbed all down her back.
- >Her face submerged in the murky depths.
- >Now was a bad time to remember she couldn't swim.
- >Instinctively she thrashed her arms about.
- >Trying to break through to the surface.
- >But to no avail.
- >Panic was her only thought.
- >She wildly kicked her legs hoping it'd somehow bring her to safety.
- >Each kick feeling more sluggish than the last.
- >It was as if someone had tied weights to her limbs.
- >The top of her head managed to break the surface once.
- >Where she foolishly took a full gulp of air, but received lungs full of lake water instead
- >"Hel-" was all she could choke out before she dipped back under the water.
- >Arms and legs dead tired.
- >No more energy.
- >Eyes growing heavy.
- >Then nothing.
- >Everywhere was black.
- >And as quickly as it came.
- >Light soon appeared back in the world.
- >A bone white light with gorgeous eyes.
- >Flawless skin.
- >And lips that tasted like strawberries.
- >Sweet, sweet strawberries.
- >She felt life billow throughout her body.
- >And looking up at those piercing, blue eyes.
- >Lyra knew in her heart.
- >That something had changed.
- >But this time she definitely knew what.
- >Soft, pure, marshmallow lips.
- >Breathing life back into her husk of a body.
- >It was something she never expected would happen.
- >But it had.
- >There was "something" there that wasn't there before.
- >"I can't believe that was the only thing you could find."
- >The bitter words of Lyra's gf still made her stand to attention no matter what.
- >Lyra glanced down at her arms.
- >The cheap, plastic armband around her right wrist looked out of place.
- "I-It was all I coul-could find Bonnie..."
- >Anxiety gripped her heart firmly.
- >"Bullshit" her quiet outburst caused Lyra's hands to start shaking once more.
- >She could feel the apathy of BonBon's eye roll against the back of her neck.
- >It felt like the icy prickly water of the lake.
- >Except she was bone dry.
- >"If Rarity sees this." the cream colored hand swiftly grabbed Lyra's wrist.
- >She pushed the armband up slightly just so Lyra could see the burn scar.
- >It was all she could look at.
- >"If Rarity sees that,." she spoke as if there was a finality in her breath.
- >"Hey, look at me" she hissed through her teeth.
- >Pushing Lyra's chin up so she was face to face with the eyes from her nightmares.
- >"If Rarity sees that or if I see that stupid armband off any time during dinner."
- >A brief silent pause to make Lyra's imagination go wild.
- >To make her anxiety flourish like an invasive weed.
- >"...I don't know what I'll do." she admitted.
- >"But you'll need something bigger than an armband to cover it up."
- >"Got it?" BonBon's breath smelled like a combination of smoke and peppermint gum.
- >A smell that always made Lyra feel nauseous.
- >A weak nod was all Lyra gave in response.
- >She just wanted to get this over with.
- >The door they were standing in front of suddenly turned and opened.
- >Rarity's fabulous figure stood before them.
- >A glittering star among mortals practically.
- >BonBon's attitude immediately made a 180.
- >The world was seeing "Sweetie Drops"
- >But Lyra knew the real BonBon.
- >At least, she thought she did.
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