[11:29 PM] Nerasis: Hey Ran
[11:30 PM] Nerasis: I have something important to talk about...
[11:30 PM] Eclipse 🌙: whats up?
[11:30 PM] Nerasis: Actually, multiple unrelated somethings
[11:38 PM] Nerasis: First off, I really don't like Link. He is obnoxious and crude, and makes me so uncomfortable that I actually have him blocked on discord. He is the first person that I have disliked enough to even want to block them on here, since it takes a real lot for me to actually want to block someone. It would be a real relief if you could ban him from your server, so I don't have to deal with the thought of him any more. Rose feels the same way as I do, which is why I'm asking you now. I wouldn't ask if it was just me, but now he's making two people upset so I know it's not just irrational hatred.
[11:42 PM] Eclipse 🌙: the thing is, i am hearing nothing from other people. nothing. and i cannot just go willy nilly banning people because  of something that i am hearing much later then it should have been. but the complaints i have received about people - and not just in link's case, is frankly ridiculous. at the rate, i will just disband the server and say fuck it because i've gotten a shitton of complaints about various people on the server, ranging from the mods on down and it's just super frustrating. i feel like i have to mother hen a bunch of people and not that i don't mind trying to correct problems, but the thing is, people are not doing anything in any way to correct or handle their issues between one another and i am left picking up the pieces all the time. i've had to step in on so many arguements its just... idk anymore. but as i said, he isn't the only one i have heard people complain about
[11:44 PM] Nerasis: You mean the complaints about me?
[11:44 PM] Nerasis: How many people complained about me in total?(edited)
[11:45 PM] Eclipse 🌙: you are one, yes. are you the only one? no. there have been several people complained about. i have heard complaints about samara, about link, about you etc. its just getting ridiculous
[11:45 PM] Eclipse 🌙: and i am constantly feeling put in the middle
[11:47 PM] Nerasis: You have a responsibility to ensure that everyone is happy and safe in your server, since you've stated that you want it to be that type of place. That's what it's like to be in charge of something
[11:49 PM] Eclipse 🌙: i don't have to mother hen people and their issues and discord with one another. people are old enough to be able to handle their own issues and i should be a very last resort. why am i here mothering a bunch of people? i am a big girl and i most certainly can handle my own issues. i most certainly don't want to put anyone else in the middle of my problems with someone else unless its a very last resort. like everyone else, i have a lot going on in my life and i don't have every waking minute in the day to dedicate to moderating everyone else and their shenanigans
[11:52 PM] Nerasis: You are the last resort. I'm not going to you just out of something petty. A bad leader ignores the wishes of the people.
[11:53 PM] Nerasis: You said others have complained about Link? So it's not just me.
[11:53 PM] Nerasis: I did say that he makes Rose uncomfortable, too
[11:53 PM] Nerasis: That makes 3 people
[11:54 PM] Eclipse 🌙: no a bad leader is someone that runs in and acts like a dictator. which i am not going to do. i am not responsible for everyone else to hold their hand and baby them. and i don't like put on the spot here. also it really upsets me that one person has to come to me on the behalf of others when i would rather people speak to me on their own.
[11:54 PM] Eclipse 🌙: and i will reiterate again, he isn't the only one people have complained about and its just getting old that i feel like everyone's squabbling has to be fixed by the what? only rational person on the server?
[11:54 PM] Eclipse 🌙: its just past ridiculous
[11:55 PM] Eclipse 🌙: everyone aside storm is an adult and should be able to handle their issues without involving someone else
[11:55 PM] Eclipse 🌙: its the same issues over and over and over by multiple people
[11:55 PM] Eclipse 🌙: its its tiresome
[11:56 PM] Nerasis: Rose is too frazzled to talk to you about this, and she's more comfortable with me which is why she went through me.
[11:57 PM] Nerasis: You're saying adults don't have conflicts? Grow up. Look at the news. People fight all the time. That's why we have a court system
[11:58 PM] Nerasis: When people gather, there will be conflict. That's why they say that hell is other people
[11:59 PM] Eclipse 🌙: by that token, why am i here cleaning up everyone else's mess? what is that all i am good for? fixing everyone else's problems? i have to hold everyone else's hands and coddle them? or baby them? what? i don't have my own problems? what? i don't have my own life? so are my problems less important? is my own life less important? i am supposed to just drop everything to take on the stresses of everyone else? is that fair?
[11:59 PM] Eclipse 🌙: no it isn't. and frankly i don't have to. i expdect people to try and handle themselves to where i do not have to step in unless shit gets out of control
[11:59 PM] Eclipse 🌙: and as i see it, nothing is to that point yet
August 18, 2017
[12:02 AM] Nerasis: It has gotten out of control. Nobody is asking you to set aside your own problems, Ran. We're just asking that you also acknowledge ours. It's not babying. I'm coming to you as an equal here, and as a friend~ not as a child wanting a parent to help them.
[12:03 AM] Nerasis: Rose didn't want me to tell you this, but she said that Link has been stealing from her too
[12:03 AM] Nerasis: I'd say that's pretty severe
[12:04 AM] Eclipse 🌙: no you are expecting me to do what you want. not by the rules and i don't appreciate it. honestly i am getting frustrated and i actually brought this up to the other admins, and even they agree that the rule is completely outlandish. if you guys cannot handle your own issues without me mothering people, then i do not know what to tell you. but to put me on the spot like this? honestly i am not cool with it. and i feel very put on the spot
[12:05 AM] Eclipse 🌙: and explain what is being stolen.  because this is the first time i am hearing of it.(edited)
[12:08 AM] Nerasis: She didn't say what it was specifically. But she's very upset about it- so much so that she just wants him to be gone.
[12:11 AM] Eclipse 🌙: if she wanted him gone, why would she allow him to come to her rabbit room to watch anime with the rest of us? and i would rather hear from the horses mouth on this. i am not comfortable with this second hand information. i am not hearing anything on this stolen aspect. if there is something being stolen - I need to know exactly what, where and when. vague information does nothing for me. but again, preferably, since this is another of the bloody many damn server issues i am dealing with, if anyone has to complain about someone else, then it needs to be brought up to one of the admins. it coming from other people is not helping and frustrating me and the other admins, more.
[12:13 AM] Nerasis: I thought I was an admin
[12:16 AM] Eclipse 🌙: you are a mod. there are only four admins nera. have only been four admins. i gave you moderation powers when i reinstated your roles and i activated more then i should have when it came down to the roles which was biased on my part. and other admins have come to me about doing things without going through the proper channels. like making channels without asking the other admins. we as a group ask for approval from the other admins before we do anything. rai wanted a new channel. asked me and ike about it today and we approved it. but there have been channels made without asking us and that is circumventing the rules we have in place.
[12:17 AM] Nerasis: *than
[12:19 AM] Eclipse 🌙: please don't correct me on that. its actually getting frustrating. honestly, i am seeing shittons of people using ur and u in place of properly spelling you and you're and shit which if you want people to be proper, you have to yourself spell properly. and the way you are constantly correcting me has gotten to the point of being embarassing. which other people have mentioned.(edited)
[12:19 AM] Nerasis: Didn't realise extra permissions were needed. I just saw that others had personal channels, so I made one for me and storm. Didn't think it would be an issue
[12:23 AM] Nerasis: I don't mind people using u and ur. Text speak and Meme speak are like a different language, almost, so I don't have a problem with it. I'll stop, but I was only doing it because you said you didn't mind being corrected before.
[12:23 AM] Eclipse 🌙: on the personal channels - yes other people have them as they made requests to the admins and was granted the permission to use them. i really don't appreciate not being asked as well as the other admins before doing something that bypasses the rules we put in place
[12:24 AM] Eclipse 🌙: its gotten to the point of obnoxious. that is why. you went and used the emojis in the anime channel to do it recently and that really had me going wtf. its making me feel like you don't communicate with me aside to do that which is upsetting.
[12:26 AM] Nerasis: Emojis? What?
[12:27 AM] Eclipse 🌙: :regional_indicator_t: :regional_indicator_h: :regional_indicator_a: :regional_indicator_n: it was done like that and that was just uncessary.
[12:27 AM] Nerasis: Oh
[12:30 AM] Nerasis: Yeah, you didn't mention having a problem with it at all until now, so I don't see how I was supposed to know about that
[12:34 AM] Eclipse 🌙: i was going to mention it the next time it was done which happened here and that is why i am saying it. after what happened in the anime channel i just got... ehh. and even rai said he was wtfing at it. it is a bit embarassing because i feel like i am being chidded in public and its just... not cool anymore. its just become too consistant and past uncerssary. not trying to be a butt but i am so frustrated right now because i am so tired of the continued issues and i have been dealing with a lot of problems at home from shit at my job to the ongoing problem with the bugs in my apartment. which has been mentally distressing by it's own right. i am also not sleeping well due to having to sleep on my couch because i refuse to sleep in my bed until those things are gone (not to mention i am allergic to the bastards) and that has been causing me lack of sleep which has been taxing on my health. but the stresses on a constant basis will eventually kill me at this rate.
[12:34 AM] Eclipse 🌙: i have to deal with the rl ones, but the online ones are not necessary. which is my whole point.
[12:38 AM] Nerasis: You're not the only one with irl issues, Ran. Do you think I enjoy talking to you about this? I don't. It makes me stressed too. I feel like I'm going to vomit. And speaking of irl shit, that brings me to the other thing I was going to talk to you about. I'm going to court today to finally see how long my dad is being sentenced for. So yeah, that's fucking stressful.
[12:42 AM] Nerasis: And if you think that Link stealing from Rose(and being generally unpleasant enough for me to feel the need to block him) is less of a crime than me correcting grammar and making a couple personal channels...? Then I'm done. Fuck that shit. You can kick me from the server if that's the case.(edited)
[12:44 AM] Eclipse 🌙: EXACTLY. my entire point in a nutshell. this nonsensical crap online is completely stupid and uncessary to the fact that everyone HAS issue irl they do not NEED burdened by online stresses. but to dump that stuff on others knowing damn well that not only yourself, but those other people are experiencing their own problems is just inconsiderate and unfair. which i feel is happening here. like everyone else, i got enough of my own problems and i don't need the online drama adding to it. point blank, people need to learn to figure out how to manage their own issues without weighing other people down. because at the end of the day, i am only responsible for me and my own health. no one else is going to take care of me, but me and i am not going to let someone else debilitate my health over stresses i don't have to deal with.
[12:45 AM] Eclipse 🌙: and i will say this again - i would actually appreciate to hear about whatever this theft issue is from rose, herself. because what you are telling me gives me NOTHING to go on other then oh he has stolen shit? like what? where? when? but no one seems to KNOW that. which for me isn't enough to do anything about.
[12:48 AM] Nerasis: I told Rose that she needs to talk to you about the stealing.
[12:49 AM] Eclipse 🌙: she does and it would be appreciated
[12:49 AM] Eclipse 🌙: this vague complaint about it tells me absolutely nothing
[12:49 AM] Eclipse 🌙: and i will not react to it without knowing exactly what is going on
[12:52 AM] Nerasis: I would have thought that our word would be enough, but hey, guess not. But yeah... It's looking like Rose and I are probably going to leave if Link isn't dealt with. So it ultimately comes down to whether you want have him there, or us there. If you don't want to deal with this, then that's fine - we'll just most likely be leaving.
[12:55 AM] Eclipse 🌙: word? i am supposed to just believe everything i hear? so i can go and accuse anyone i want of theft and expect people to believe me without validating? no this is making me feel manipulated and expected to be retalitory against someone else by other people without any burdon of proof because yeah, who gives a goddamn fuck if ran is put on the spot. who gives a goddamn fuck if ran is made to look like the bad guy. who gives a goddamn fuck if ran gets attacked by someone who may or may not be unjustly criminalized because someone wants to accomplish their own agendas and goals? so long as what? by everyone else's standards and if the outcome justifies the means?(edited)
[12:55 AM] Eclipse 🌙: no i will not have my hand forced and if that is what i am looking at, i will definitely walk the fuck away. this is most certainly not cool and i really don't appreciate it.
[12:58 AM] Nerasis: Rose's word was all I needed to know to come to you, because I trust her. I get that you work differently, I just want you to be able to see this from my perspective here too.
[1:00 AM] Nerasis: You think the way I'm acting isn't cool? I think the way you acting is a outrageous lack of responsibility, and it feels like a betrayal. So don't think that you're the only one upset, here.
[1:01 AM] Eclipse 🌙: if you want to go that route, then by all means do so. i am not going to run willy nilly because you have a personal problem with him. anymore then it would be right of me to ban you because he dislikes you. no you want me to be biased and try to force me to do what you want because of your own personal squabbles. you are not going to manipulate me like that and if you are going to continue to force the subject without being civil and fair, then you two are free to leave. i am not stopping either of you. but you will not make me do what you want anymore then anyone else will and i will follow by the rules i have set in place that is subject to everyone to follow. if that is out of your understanding, then i do not know what else to tell you.
[1:02 AM] Eclipse 🌙: see your last statement is in attempt to manipulate me because i am not doing what you want and going by the rules set that everyone has to follow. i am not disregarding protocol because someone wants me to.
[1:02 AM] Eclipse 🌙: and i can see why i was contacted because this shit wouldn't fly elsewhere
[1:03 AM] Nerasis: I'm not trying to fucking manipulate you ran, I'm just trying to explain how I feel
[1:03 AM] Eclipse 🌙: bullshit. you are completely disregarding everything i am saying and telling me i don't give a fuck about you or rose because i am not going to BAN someone willy nilly by not following protocol because someone WANTS ME TO
[1:05 AM] Nerasis: How else am I supposed to feel like when it seems like you don't care that we are upset? Of course I'm going to feel like you don't give a shit about us. I'm only human. I don't see how you expect me to be better than that.
[1:07 AM] Eclipse 🌙: you came in here and fucking DEMANDED i do something YOU wanted. to which i will ask you this. if someone came to me and demanded me to ban YOU because you made them feel uncomfortable and wished to not deal with you, would that be ok? or is it only people you disapprove of?(edited)
[1:09 AM] Nerasis: It was a polite request, not a demand. And yes, I would expect you to ban me if multiple people told you they had a severe problem with me and wanted me banned.
[1:10 AM] Nerasis: That's how server management is supposed to work
[1:12 AM] Eclipse 🌙: request my ass. and when i turned you down you had a bloody cow, and attempted to put me on the spot saying i am callous and heartless because i will not do what someone else wants me to as i will follow the rules and protocol set in place that has been there since the damn beginning. if you cannot understand that or do not agree with it, you are more then welcomed to leave. i will not stop you. but i will not be expected to bend or change the rules at someone else's request or wishes that only suits their own needs or wants. everyone will follow the same rules and will be handled in the same way as per protocol which i will not unjustly change because someone wants me to.
[1:19 AM] Nerasis: I was angry because I don't understand your perspective, it seems absurd to me. You're doing exactly the same thing you're accusing me of doing here by not considering my point of view. I thought you would be able to understand me. I guess I was wrong. I'll leave.
[1:23 AM] Eclipse 🌙: really now? so you are trying to turn this back on me because i don't do what you expect of me? that is not how the world works and what is absurd is expecting to get your way, when you want and how you want. the reality of it all is life sucks, get a bigger straw. the world doesn't cater and you shouldn't expect it to. but if this is what shit is looking like? then yeah i want nothing to do with it. you do forget one thing. i have more life experience and i know what the fuck i am seeing. and i honestly don't appreciate being made to feel like i am some puppet on strings. if you really think that low of me because you don't care enough to not wish to bring uncessary stresses on me because all i am is some plaything, then really. i don't feel like you care about me as a friend. i would never EVER do this shit to you and it disheartenes me that you would do this to me. at this point, i am so close to being over it. i got a fucking headache because of this stupid drama and my night feels ruined. which i was enjoying until this happend. which is completely unfair and just not cool. the more and more shit like this happens, the less and less tolerant i am becoming.
[1:44 AM] Nerasis: I expect give and take in relationships. I expect respect from my friends. I expect the admin of a server I'm in to provide and maintain a safe space. I don't feel that's asking all that much, but we clearly have different moral and social standards. I told you that I was manipulative. I'm pretty sure that I'm autistic, and I'm borderline sociopathic at times. I have a hard time understanding many nuances of social interaction unless they are very clearly explained to me. So, yes, I do think of all others as puppets to a degree. It is utterly delightful to have puppets that can think and act independently, after all. As such, I follow mental guidelines and copy observed patterns of behaviour, since I don't react or think in the same way as other people. I'm not a good person, and I never claimed to be. Hey, maybe you could try bonding with Lux over how awful I am? Wouldn't that be such fun! But yeah- I'm not going to let you try to make me feel bad for being who I am, after you've already claimed that you accept me. That doesn't add up.
[4:48 AM] Eclipse 🌙: i am going to say my piece here after i had to actually sit down and talk to gwen about this because i am literally that frustrated at this point. but this is going to be the final thing i say about this scenario as i am just done and over it. but this is where it stands. i will not be jockeyed, forced or passive aggressively made to do anything. i will not allow someone to manipulate me into doing what they want and i most certainly will not criminalize anyone in favor of another or at their behest without significent reason. the rules are in place for a reason. and they will be followed by everyone, and anyone caught breaking rules will be handled in the same mannerism as those rules state. i will not go from zero to eighty at the drop of a hat, and nor will i pass off a sentence onto someone without a trial. i am tired of the underlying bs, and frankly, i am tired of feeling like people can just use me or take advantage me because they feel like it or want their way. i am past done with that. when i told you i accepted you, i was accepting you as a person that yes, has negatitive qualities. everyone does. i have my own, that like everyone else, has to be worked on. but with that acceptance also came the understanding of helping someone with the notion of that person wanting to better themselves, but realizing those negatitive qualities need to be changed and or worked on. i never said however, i would subject myself to abuse, subjugation or explotation.
[4:48 AM] Eclipse 🌙: i am no one's plaything and will not allow myself to be subjected to such. when i took on the aspect of being a friend, was also in knowing, which by your own standards, that i would also be respected as well. but that is not how it seems, as i feel this isn't being kept a two way street. you say give and take? well you cannot just take and expect everyone else to give. you cannot expect respect, and not give such in return. yet i feel i am being completely disrepected, invalidated and ignored.
especially over my wishes to follow the rules i have set in place when handling infractions without feeling like i should practically dole out capital punishment to anyone who even remotely does something wrong.
[4:48 AM] Eclipse 🌙: this is not how the world works and i will not find myself becoming some manical tyrant because people think that harsh consequence should be the result for any infraction. i will not do this and i will not allow anyone to try and force my hand into such. with this in mind, if you cannot understand this fact, then perhaps it's for the best that you left the server to lessen anymore friction. considering this, from this point, i do not wish to discuss this problem, further. you have link on block - which is why there is a block function to begin with, so there is no further need to continue this debacle. at this point, i would appreciate you to leave him alone and i will express quite firmly that he is not to contact you in any way, shape or form. please also do not try to goad, coerce or persuade anyone to troll, harass or badger him.
[4:48 AM] Eclipse 🌙: i would also appreciate this drama do not return to my server via any outside sources. i will be talking to rose about what is going on with this supposed theft and the details about this problem from her end. once it is handled on that front, i also wish not to hear anymore about this situation as i will be done with it. you can contact me about anything else aside that. if you contact me to complain about link, i will not respond. i don't want to think that you will only dm me to fuss about link and that i am not worth conversating with outside that. on a more personal note - forgive me for the bluntless, but that comment about lux was completely tactless and childish to bring up. whatever her feelings are about you is her problem and i have completely seperate reasons on why i do not talk to her. but to bring her up in the conversation was utterly stupid and not necessary.
[4:48 AM] Eclipse 🌙: but then again, i am not the only one who thought that was really tasteless. on a final - by the same token, i am not going to allow you to downgrade me, or downplay my intelligence or make me feel less significant because i won't play by your rules or standards. i deserve the same respect and dignity you give others and i feel as if i am not significent to you as other people are and you treat them differently then you do me. if you want me to be your friend, i will. but i would appreciate to be treated the same way you treat anyone else you call a friend or socialize with. i am not going to be made to feel like i can be treated any old way and lol fuck me, deal with it. that is not cool in the slightest and completely wrong.
[4:48 AM] Eclipse 🌙: now with that, i have said my piece and i am done with this situation and wish not to speak of it further. i am not going to argue over something nonsenscial and stupid. you have made your decision to bail from the server, so there is no further need to hash it out. i am now going to bed.