Dear FiveRP,
I made a forum complaint, but you still haven’t answered.
I left my UCP, forum name, and character at the bottom.
I made two bug reports back in autumn,
You must not’a got ‘em.

There was prob’ly a problem with the forums or somethin’.
Sometimes I click too quick, and hit the wrong button.
But anyways, fuck it,
How’s it going? When’s the next patch due?
I like the last patch, makes me play more often.
I can’t wait for all the stuff you’re promisin’, sounds cool.

I read this review from a streamer on Twitch, I’m sorry,
But the guy sucks, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
I know you probably hear this every day,
But I’m FiveRP’s biggest fan.

I’m even a donator. (I got the title from Vash.)
I got a thread full of roleplay and screens, man.
I like to do some videos too.
This shit is cool.

Anyways,
I hope you get this, guys. PM me back.
Sort me out. Patch this bug.

-Anthro

Dear FiveRP,
You still haven’t sorted my forum complaint.
I ain’t mad, but it’s messed up.
It’s been two minutes!
If you can’t sort in 30 seconds, then don’t offer forum mail,
Why not try SNAIL MAIL?
I’ve gotten some food, and checked all the forums.
I drank two coffees, and smoked three ciggies.
That’s pretty slow, guys.
You’re my freakin’ idols!
I was gonna add ya to my “Favorite Server” list!
I ain’t too mad, though.
I just don’t LIKE not playin’.
You remember when I last had a forum complaint,
You said “slash report if it continues.”
See, I’m just like you guys too.
I never answer my forum PMs either.
I hate the Spam, and I always delete it.
I just chill out and browse the forums,
So I just read through ‘em and drift away.
I don’t have much else to do,
So your game help when I’m out of shit to do.
I even got a tattoo.. With FIVERP on my chest!

Sometimes I even DM just to see if I get caught.
Like adrenaline, the risk of getting banned is such a rush to me.
See, everything in FiveRP is REAL.
I laugh when I hear real life!
My girlfriend’s jealous cause I play FiveRP 24/7.
But she don’t know good games, she plays Sonic!
She doesn’t know what it’s like to lose your Deagle to Cordell!

You gotta sort it, guys.
I’ll be the biggest moderator you’ll ever lose!
This is Anthro.

P.S.: GTMP makes my screen go blue.

Dear GAYRP,
Too good to message back your fans?
This will be the LAST time I ever PM your ass.
It’s been five minutes and still no answer on my FC..
I don’t deserve it?!
I know you got my last two PMs.
I wrote the usernames on ‘em perfect.

So this is the PM I’m Sending you.
 Ihope you read it.

I’m on the server right now,
I’ve going 90 on the Freeway.
Hey staff,
I have an SMG,
Dare me to DM?
You know that song by Phil Collins,
“In the Air Tonight” about that guy who coulda
Saved that other guy from drowning?
But didn’t and Phil saw it all and at a show he found him?

That’s kinda how this is.
You could’a rescued me from getting banned.
Now it’s too late.
I’m in Chamberlain Hills now, I’m gettin hype.
All I wanted was a lousy PM or answer on my post.
I hope you know I deleted all my threads on the forum.

I loved you guys,
We could’ve gone so far together!
Think about it!
You ruined it now!
I hope the server crashes, and you can’t restore it.
And when it crashes, I hope it doesn’t come back,
And you SCREAM about it.
I hope FiveRP dies and won’t function without me!

See, guys,
One sec brb

Hey guys,
My girlfriend was at my desk.
But I didn’t make fun of Sonic,
She’s trying to fix me up.
See, I don’t like you.
Cause if she helps me out,
I’ll uninstall, and then we’ll be happy too.

Well,
Gotta go.
I’m DMing everyone in Davis now.
OH SHIT
I FORGOT
IM ABOUT TO GET B-

((USER HAS BEEN BANNED FROM THE SERVER.))