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  1. areopaganini (11:32:51 PM): areopaganini (9:14:10 PM): so, there's a hot pharm tech at my local walgreens again
  2. CryoBristow (11:33:53 PM): ah, good news
  3. areopaganini (11:33:56 PM): yes
  4. CryoBristow (11:33:57 PM): sunlight shines upon thee
  5. areopaganini (11:34:00 PM): indeed
  6. areopaganini (11:34:18 PM): you know about the last time this happened, right
  7. CryoBristow (11:34:24 PM): clearly you want me to say "how hot is she"
  8. areopaganini (11:34:29 PM): nah, not really
  9. CryoBristow (11:34:39 PM): no, when did it happen before
  10. areopaganini (11:34:53 PM): three years ago
  11. areopaganini (11:35:07 PM): I lived across town and went to a different walgreens
  12. CryoBristow (11:35:14 PM): wow, it's been quite a lacuna in your walgreen's experience
  13. areopaganini (11:35:24 PM): but there was this smoking hot pharm tech
  14. CryoBristow (11:35:41 PM): is she now your wife?
  15. areopaganini (11:35:43 PM): who was there in the afternoon
  16. areopaganini (11:35:49 PM): no, she's not
  17. areopaganini (11:36:22 PM): but instead of calling in my refills I would take the empty bottle to the walgreens and have them refill it so I could sit in the waiting area and observe
  18. CryoBristow (11:36:59 PM): awesome
  19. CryoBristow (11:37:01 PM): good work
  20. areopaganini (11:37:08 PM): I thought so
  21. CryoBristow (11:37:18 PM): is it the usual waiting area, three solitary chairs sitting by a desk?
  22. areopaganini (11:37:24 PM): a counter
  23. areopaganini (11:37:26 PM): yeah
  24. CryoBristow (11:37:37 PM): right, waiting areas at those places are always funny
  25. areopaganini (11:37:41 PM): but you can see the whole place
  26. CryoBristow (11:37:46 PM): very minimalist
  27. areopaganini (11:38:01 PM): there are some aisles they go down to get the pills, but you can see them filling the scrips
  28. CryoBristow (11:38:03 PM): sometimes, it's just one chair
  29. CryoBristow (11:38:13 PM): which would be funnier
  30. CryoBristow (11:38:41 PM): anyway, right, so is this one better?
  31. areopaganini (11:38:45 PM): no
  32. areopaganini (11:38:57 PM): good, but not as good
  33. CryoBristow (11:39:03 PM): you're just overwhelmed by nostalgia then
  34. areopaganini (11:39:15 PM): she's over the line
  35. CryoBristow (11:39:23 PM): the line?
  36. areopaganini (11:39:32 PM): the line of hotness required for me to notice
  37. areopaganini (11:39:35 PM): and care
  38. areopaganini (11:39:55 PM): if I were in the same position I was then, and if she had the afternoon shift, I'd pull my nonsense again
  39. CryoBristow (11:39:59 PM): how young?
  40. areopaganini (11:40:04 PM): 20?
  41. CryoBristow (11:40:07 PM): sweet
  42. areopaganini (11:40:22 PM): 20-23
  43. CryoBristow (11:40:29 PM): I always feel so naked when I'm in a store alone, though
  44. CryoBristow (11:40:33 PM): it's unnerving
  45. areopaganini (11:40:39 PM): it's a walgreens
  46. areopaganini (11:40:41 PM): there were people there
  47. CryoBristow (11:40:47 PM): no, I mean
  48. CryoBristow (11:40:53 PM): when I'm not with someone myself
  49. areopaganini (11:40:56 PM): ah
  50. areopaganini (11:40:58 PM): oh, there was someone else
  51. areopaganini (11:41:02 PM): the manager
  52. CryoBristow (11:41:14 PM): is she over the line too?
  53. areopaganini (11:41:16 PM): she was so delightfully mediocre
  54. areopaganini (11:41:47 PM): like, the kind of girl you don't think could ever be called "beautiful," but who is by no means unattractive or ugly
  55. areopaganini (11:42:35 PM): she was wearing a purple button-down shirt that may have been meant for a man tucked in to her pants
  56. CryoBristow (11:42:42 PM): see, I'm different though, I don't have a line cause the "beautiful girls" are not what I'm all about
  57. areopaganini (11:42:45 PM): and she had like three buttons open
  58. areopaganini (11:43:03 PM): ah, but there's still a classification of "beautiful" in your mind
  59. areopaganini (11:43:06 PM): whether it be positive or negative
  60. CryoBristow (11:43:18 PM): yeah, but I will see a girl that I admit is really attractive and think nothing of her
  61. CryoBristow (11:43:26 PM): but there are certain types that get under my skin
  62. areopaganini (11:43:37 PM): anyway, she had three buttons open but it was so careless and unslutty
  63. CryoBristow (11:43:42 PM): sure
  64. areopaganini (11:43:52 PM): she looked like she wished the buttons were open because she was a slut
  65. CryoBristow (11:44:04 PM): heh, this is very thoughtful of you
  66. areopaganini (11:44:13 PM): I was sitting in the walgreens for like 30 minutes
  67. CryoBristow (11:44:19 PM): I feel like that's something I'd read in a novel
  68. areopaganini (11:44:26 PM): heh
  69. CryoBristow (11:44:29 PM): "she wasn't a slut, but she wished she were"
  70. areopaganini (11:44:58 PM): I wish I knew how to send pictures from my phone's camera to the internet or other phones
  71. areopaganini (11:45:06 PM): because then I'd start taking pictures of these things
  72. CryoBristow (11:45:20 PM): yeah, you should
  73. CryoBristow (11:45:26 PM): I should too
  74. areopaganini (11:45:30 PM): anyway, I'm a real sucker for the second kind of woman
  75. CryoBristow (11:45:34 PM): this is the perfect plan...for me to be arrested someday
  76. areopaganini (11:45:41 PM): the hot girl was great, but I couldn't take my eyes off the manager
  77. CryoBristow (11:45:46 PM): good for you
  78. CryoBristow (11:46:06 PM): I'm inclined to side with you here
  79. areopaganini (11:46:13 PM): it really was like something out of a short story
  80. areopaganini (11:46:36 PM): oh, heh
  81. areopaganini (11:46:39 PM): this is hilarious
  82. areopaganini (11:46:44 PM): so
  83. areopaganini (11:46:57 PM): man, I'm laughing out loud now and I was so fucking pissed at the time
  84. areopaganini (11:47:09 PM): so
  85. areopaganini (11:47:21 PM): I was in line at the register
  86. areopaganini (11:47:35 PM): I was buying a bottle of gatorade so I could get a roll of quarters as cash back
  87. areopaganini (11:47:38 PM): laundry day etc
  88. areopaganini (11:47:43 PM): and I was behind this guy
  89. areopaganini (11:48:01 PM): wearing savane (the logo was conspicuous) twenty dollar black slacks
  90. areopaganini (11:48:25 PM): and a turtleneck tshirt tucked
  91. areopaganini (11:48:32 PM): in
  92. CryoBristow (11:48:33 PM): heh, this guy sounds awesome
  93. areopaganini (11:48:52 PM): has a goatee that actually looks like the beard you'd see on a goat
  94. CryoBristow (11:48:54 PM): I bet he's going to be no fun in this story!
  95. areopaganini (11:50:03 PM): (not the only glorious goatee I saw there: one of the other pharm techs was bald and looked exactly like that actor who plays catherine o'hara's old lover in best in show except for a massive goatee that made me want to ask him if he had lost a bet)
  96. areopaganini (11:50:24 PM): anyway
  97. areopaganini (11:50:26 PM): so this guy
  98. CryoBristow (11:50:28 PM): heh, needless to say, he was not over the line
  99. areopaganini (11:50:33 PM): needless to say
  100. areopaganini (11:50:58 PM): so he's standing there and the guy at the register, clearly not management material, was thumbing through some sort of advertisement book
  101. areopaganini (11:51:08 PM): clearly there was a dispute going on
  102. CryoBristow (11:51:23 PM): some sort of pricing quandary?
  103. areopaganini (11:51:31 PM): coupons
  104. areopaganini (11:51:35 PM): so I look at what the man is purchasing
  105. areopaganini (11:52:06 PM): he has six different MASSIVE packs of maxi pads
  106. areopaganini (11:52:28 PM): and is haggling over the price of said pads
  107. CryoBristow (11:52:35 PM): my mind cannot even conceive of the possibilities
  108. CryoBristow (11:52:53 PM): heh, haggling?
  109. areopaganini (11:53:10 PM): he kept claiming that various coupons applied
  110. areopaganini (11:53:13 PM): this was where I first encountered the management enchantress
  111. CryoBristow (11:53:14 PM): did he think he'd gone to the maxi pad bazaar in damascus?
  112. areopaganini (11:53:53 PM): who resolved the first dispute by saying, "Ah, but you've got the 36 pack there...the coupon only applies to the 42 pack."
  113. areopaganini (11:54:25 PM): he then claimed that there was a sign on the shelf saying that he would get 1 dollar off three of the packs
  114. areopaganini (11:54:41 PM): by this time there were three people behind me in line
  115. CryoBristow (11:54:48 PM): I'm alarmed that there are such finely-graded volumes of maxi pads
  116. areopaganini (11:54:51 PM): I exclaimed, "It's only a dollar!"
  117. CryoBristow (11:55:03 PM): good for you, jumping into the fray!
  118. areopaganini (11:55:16 PM): and the globe lesbian behind me muttered, "God dammit..."
  119. CryoBristow (11:55:36 PM): globe lesbian?
  120. areopaganini (11:55:45 PM): surely I've told you of globe lesbians
  121. CryoBristow (11:55:58 PM): dont think so
  122. CryoBristow (11:56:18 PM): I love lesbians, you know, so I guess I should learn
  123. areopaganini (11:57:04 PM): globe lesbians are short, stocky women who have buzz cuts and are rotund to the point that they resemble globes with little legs
  124. CryoBristow (11:57:14 PM): heh
  125. areopaganini (11:57:21 PM): you know exactly of whom I speak
  126. areopaganini (11:57:29 PM): they abound in Austin
  127. CryoBristow (11:57:33 PM): are you really still in texas here!
  128. areopaganini (11:57:40 PM): they're everywhere in Austin
  129. areopaganini (11:57:48 PM): Austin is like the most liberal place on the planet
  130. CryoBristow (11:57:48 PM): you're fucking in the middle of a goateed douche and a globe lesbian, what the hell is going on
  131. CryoBristow (11:57:56 PM): it's time for you to move to rural texas
  132. CryoBristow (11:58:35 PM): simply being between those two people would make me mad enough to move
  133. areopaganini (11:58:39 PM): I feel like I should write a short story now
  134. areopaganini (11:59:05 PM): also, when I sat down to wait
  135. areopaganini (11:59:12 PM): there was only one chair available
  136. CryoBristow (11:59:20 PM): yeah, I can't believe you had the balls to enter the maxi pad fray
  137. CryoBristow (11:59:22 PM): that's dangerous
  138. areopaganini (12:00:10 AM): I believe that the woman in the chair next to mine was an addict
  139. CryoBristow (12:01:02 AM): are you sure you didn't accidentally enter a david foster wallace story today?
  140. areopaganini (12:01:09 AM): no.
  141. areopaganini (12:01:23 AM): she was twitching
  142. areopaganini (12:01:50 AM): it's possible that she was schizophrenic but I don't think so
  143. areopaganini (12:02:01 AM): she was purchasing other products
  144. areopaganini (12:02:04 AM): including a hair brush
  145. areopaganini (12:02:25 AM): she looked like an addict who could afford her pills
  146. areopaganini (12:02:53 AM): she also turned away from me and wouldn't show me her face (not that I asked or was looking, but you know, deliberate avoidance)
  147. areopaganini (12:03:00 AM): and she didn't look the pharm tech at the register in the eye
  148. areopaganini (12:03:10 AM): this was the third of four individuals behind the counter
  149. areopaganini (12:03:29 AM): an extraordinarily well-kempt, dapper asian fellow with designer glasses
  150. CryoBristow (12:03:46 AM): right, I'm inclined to like her if she avoids eye contact
  151. areopaganini (12:03:52 AM): yeah but this is different
  152. areopaganini (12:03:58 AM): was different
  153. areopaganini (12:04:03 AM): this wasn't general social aversion
  154. areopaganini (12:04:09 AM): this was if you look at me you'll see what I am
  155. CryoBristow (12:04:10 AM): right
  156. CryoBristow (12:04:59 AM): it's the same type of aversion you get from people at any low-level grocery store
  157. areopaganini (12:05:02 AM): anyway, the fourth was this older woman with long blonde hair that looked like it had been washed but not brushed
  158. areopaganini (12:05:41 AM): she was by far the least well-groomed of the people, which led me to believe that she was the lone pharmacist
  159. CryoBristow (12:05:57 AM): an interesting conclusion
  160. areopaganini (12:06:37 AM): well, it was easy to tell a lot about each person by their appearance
  161. CryoBristow (12:07:13 AM): right, the pharmacy is rare in that it takes some skill to work there, so you get an interesting scale of people
  162. areopaganini (12:07:16 AM): the hot girl and the asian were most likely UT pharmacy school students; the hot girl will wash out, while the asian will be top of his class
  163. areopaganini (12:08:05 AM): The asian won't be top of his class because he's asian, he'll be top of his class because he dresses for the job he wants. The hot girl won't wash out because she's a hot girl, she'll wash out because she was comfortable where she was.
  164. CryoBristow (12:08:24 AM): heh, you're so reflective tonight
  165. areopaganini (12:08:43 AM): it was such a ludicrous experience
  166. CryoBristow (12:08:47 AM): though, I reject you're conclusion that she won't wash out cause she's a hot girl
  167. CryoBristow (12:08:50 AM): your
  168. areopaganini (12:08:54 AM): but see
  169. areopaganini (12:09:03 AM): I was sure of the last hot girl's success
  170. areopaganini (12:09:07 AM): because she wasn't comfortable
  171. CryoBristow (12:09:17 AM): how can you tell if someone is comfortable?
  172. areopaganini (12:09:29 AM): not too hard, really
  173. CryoBristow (12:09:38 AM): don't hot people always look comfortable?
  174. areopaganini (12:09:43 AM): no
  175. CryoBristow (12:10:18 AM): an interesting theory
  176. CryoBristow (12:10:36 AM): you look for people who seem less than enthused with their current job?
  177. areopaganini (12:11:35 AM): I don't look for them
  178. CryoBristow (12:12:02 AM): by this logic, all customer service employees should be on the fast track upward
  179. areopaganini (12:12:29 AM): that's different
  180. CryoBristow (12:12:31 AM): though I suppose there's a difference
  181. CryoBristow (12:12:38 AM): between apathy and determination
  182. areopaganini (12:12:43 AM): yes
  183. areopaganini (12:12:57 AM): there is a certain amount of comfort in passive resistance
  184. CryoBristow (12:13:10 AM): and most of them have nowhere to go anyway
  185. areopaganini (12:13:16 AM): exactly
  186. CryoBristow (12:14:16 AM): what's in the crystal ball for the manager?
  187. CryoBristow (12:14:28 AM): ho-hum life with a husband and two kids?
  188. areopaganini (12:14:37 AM): no
  189. areopaganini (12:15:01 AM): tv dinner, pet, and top chef
  190. CryoBristow (12:15:13 AM): wow, you must really like her
  191. CryoBristow (12:15:18 AM): that's a really nice thing to say
  192. areopaganini (12:15:30 AM): I know
  193. areopaganini (12:15:38 AM): I told you, I was fascinated by her
  194. CryoBristow (12:15:46 AM): only I would respond to that prediction in that manner
  195. CryoBristow (12:15:48 AM): but it's true
  196. areopaganini (12:15:58 AM): oh I knew you would respond that way
  197. areopaganini (12:19:14 AM): as to the pet, I'm leaning toward large dog
  198. areopaganini (12:19:33 AM): its name would have to be human, of course
  199. areopaganini (12:19:37 AM): no scruffy or fido
  200. CryoBristow (12:21:07 AM): heh, something substantial enough that you could blur your eyes and pretend it's human?
  201. CryoBristow (12:21:31 AM): and, yeah, a name like Sam
  202. CryoBristow (12:24:00 AM): nothing pathetic, like a cat or fish - nothing that looks like a plea for comfort
  203. areopaganini (12:24:10 AM): right
  204. CryoBristow (12:25:59 AM): it's a very nice thought on your part, nice to see you like to make goddesses out of molehills too
  205. areopaganini (12:26:11 AM): I really do, dude
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