zanzan

Week 1 - Living Like Champions
Day 1 - Words Of Wisdom
Let's take a short journey into the distant past. Not a vague journey, a
specific journey - one that will take us along with a very interesting path, a path
we rarely consider, if ever.
Imagine what the world was like around, say, a thousand years ago. Ok, now
let's see ... with a little license, we can say this was roughly the time in
history when the seeds of courtly love were first being sown, when
troubadours were just beginning to write lyric poems about abstract
concepts like chivalry, and when knights and damsels were just beginning
to eat into their own. So yes, this is a fine place to begin our journey.
Now imagine a man standing on the earth all those many years ago. That
man, somewhere on earth and one thousand years ago, had a son, who
then went on to have a, who also had a son, who, in turn, had a son, and
so on, all the way down through the centuries. These men, all of them
creators, produced a very direct and distinct line of fathers and sons, all the
way down to the modern age.
And, more specifically, all the way down to YOU.
Oh, did I forget to mention that the man you should imagine one thousand
years ago is your direct ancestor? Well, let's imagine it now. What did I have
look like? What was I wearing? What kind of people were around him?
And where on the earth do you guess I was standing?
And while you are pondering those questions, also consider this excellent
thought: every single one of us alive today had a forefather standing on
the earth one thousand years ago
So there he is. This man was your blood. You are his legacy. And stretching
through these many years between you and him, that distant ancestor on
distant shore, is a long unbroken line of fathers and sons, creators, men
who ultimately created YOU today.
And now think about the many thousands of men who were his
contemporaries who have not direct descendents alive today. In other
words, somewhere in the last thousand years, they or their sons
daughters had not offspring and their particular line died out.
The implication, of course, is that you have the blood of winners circulating
in your veins Think about that for a minute. Your forefathers had the
strength and imagination and courage to create. Against all the odds -
short life expectancies, wars, crusades, famines, persecution, plagues and
pestilence - they persevered.
They won.
Through all the centuries, the Dark Ages, the Renaissance, the Reformation
and Enlightenment, through the incredible periods of Exploration and
Colonization, through the Victorian Age, the Industrial Age, through Civil
and World Wars, through the Information Age, all the way to you.
You, my friend, have the bloodline of champions.
Your fathers were adventurers, pioneers, and warriors ... warriors who stood
on a battlefield with a sword. One of your forefathers stood on a battlefield,
with a sword in his hand ... ready to kill or die.
And yet ... we are afraid to talk to that girl over there.
We are afraid to run out of things to say.
We are afraid she might reject us during a date.
We are afraid to want what we want in our relationships and we settle for
'Good enough.'
It is amazing when you think about it. When we hesitate to approach to
woman that we are attracted to, it's kind of like we are letting these men
down. When we are self conscious about dating, when we are timid in our
relationships, we are letting our ancestors down.
One thing's for sure: we're definitely letting her down. Why? Because she
Deserves your true self. In fact, the world deserves your true self. The world
Deserves your authenticity. The world deserves you fully present.
We, as men, have forgotten how to stand on the earth. We have forgotten
how to be spacious. We have forgotten that we have been given a name.
We have forgotten the legacy of all those who came before us. We dial
ourselves down.
We settle.
That is the problem We settle - in our careers, in our relationships, in all
aspects of our lives.
Women everywhere are asking "Where are the real men?" And we're over
Here in the corner saying, "It's good enough."
No more!
Never settle. Dregs settle.
Always remember the legacy of those who came before you. Because of
them, you have the right to occupy your space on earth. You have the right
to speak your name. You have the right to be spacious.
And you certainly have the right to speak your truth to that girl!
Day 2 Further Explanation
What does it mean to 'live like champions'?
It is the concept of truly embracing life,
of being unapologetically masculine,
of being passionate and mindful in everything we do.
The secret of all this is that there is no need to ever "chase" women.
It is no longer necessary when we are living lives of excellence.
This is not to say that we do not want or need women in our life ... it just
means that we are on a quest for excellence that has very little to do with
her Women want to be taken on adventure, they want to be the
adventure
And when we set out on this journey of excellence, women will always find
us attractive, and we will learn to sense the abundance of women.
We are leaders. Never forget this! In the mornings, when you pause and
Look at your list, remind yourself of that.
Say "I am a leader today because ..."
Then no matter what happens in your day, step forward in that perspective.
You are a leader. You are on the way to becoming one of the Amorati, and
this group of men is called to something higher than simple lives of
Mediocrity
Lead, gentlemen ... lead. Never follow ... ever!
It is time that we lived up to the legacy that our ancestors were bequeathed to
us We have the right to occupy our space on this earth. We have been
given a name ... it is time to stand up and speak our name. It is time to
speak our truth This is the strength of men, the center of gravity that is
missing all over the world.
And how do you get this strength and confidence?
You choose it!
Listen to your doubts and fears, say "thank you," choose a different
perspective - one that is more in line with where you want your life to go -,
then ...
ACT ANYWAY
Start walking and start talking anyway. Speak your truth anyway.
Jamie Smart, one of original Amorati said:
"We are afraid of letting go of our security - afraid that we will end up
under a bridge, alone and with nothing. But the guys that end up living
under a bridge are not the guys who gave up whatever they were doing to
follow their heart. "
You will not end up under bridge when you follow your heart; in fact, the
only way to make sure you will not end up under bridge is by following
your heart
So stop doing what you do not love. Say "No more!" No more to the old story.
We no longer have time for it.
When one of the women in our event was asked why women get together
with jerks, her answer was "Because they ask." This is incredible insight for
us All you have to do is show up in life. Ask for what you want. Speak your
truth It is a simple as that.
As Hans Comyn recalls:
"I remember one of the biggest insights came for me many years ago. I met
a wonderful woman in a bar, and I had a great conversation with her. I left
her a bit later, talking to many other women in the bar. Just before I was
about to go home, I was talking to another woman, taking down her
number At the same time the first woman walked passed me, and
witnessed everything. I took her by the hand and told her "And you are
coming home with me. "Smile, wink. Playful, daring, masculine. And she did,
and we have been great friends since then. At first, I thought she came with
DISPATCHES me talking to other women and leading firmly. I thought it
was something I got away with. However, some time later, she told me that
she came with me that night BECAUSE of me not apologizing for loving
women, and BECAUSE of me leading her without being a brute. "
Leading, speaking your truth, not apologizing for being to man, not trying to
make other comfortable ... all with empathy. This is the essence of Living
like Champions.
We all have different circumstances, upbringings, ... but remember that you
are never held back by circumstances ... what is holding you back is that
you have chosen to disregard your most compelling reasons to move
forward.
What is it about women that you love? What do you ache for?
Let your answer pull you forward.
Day 3 Your Mission
Your mission this week is to consider who you are on this earth. (Your List
is the key).
Quien eres?
What do you want your life to look like?
What is your legacy?
What kind of men were your ancestors, your direct blood fathers?
Who were these men who went before you, blazing a trail of courage?
They were champions. And this is your legacy. It is time to live like
champions on this earth again. It is time to be leaders!
This is the only thing that women are attracted to. You have the right to
occupy your space on this earth. You have the weight of the whole world
beneath you!
Find at least 10 situations where you would normally hesitate, and show up
de todas formas.
Either in the realm of approaching, dating our relating to women.
Look for 10 instances:
. For instance, in your daily routines, or when you go out, look for women
That you would normally hesitate to approach. The kind that make you
nervous if you were to go and approach her.
. For instance, during a date, when you think of something funny to say, but
you hold back because she might not laugh.
. For instance, in your relationship, when you have a strong opinion, but you
hesitate to speak your truth, because it might make her feel uncomfortable.
...
Become aware of those instances, then choose the specific perspective of
the champion that you are. Remember the strength of all those fathers
created you. Find that center. Find that essence of masculinity. Lower your
center of gravity. Ground yourself to the earth.
Ask yourself, "What would they think of this ridiculously inconsequential
situation? What would they do if they were in my shoes right now? "
Now, take a deep breath. Acknowledge your doubts and fears. Say thank
you, then ...
ACT ANYWAY, show up anyway, speak your truth anyway ... with empathy,
with ease and delight!
Approach her (say "Hello" and smile if nothing else), tell that joke, speak
your truth Do whatever you think your forefather would do.
Her reaction does not matter. It does not matter what you say exactly. que
matters is that you act anyway. What matters is that you approach anyway.
What matters is that you blurt anyway. What matters is that you speak your
truth anyway. With empathy. With ease and delight.
The key is to remind yourself all week that you have what it takes! You
have the right to say hello to her. You have the right to speak your truth. In
fact, you have the obligation.
You have the blood of champions. It is time for this group of men to begin
to show this to the world ...
Day 4 Reminder
You have the blood of champions. Your ancestors were winners, and this is your legacy. It is time to
live like champions on this earth again. It is time to be leaders!
Day 5 Reminder
Find at least 10 situations where you would normally hesitate, and show
up anyway.
Everything you want to learn about women lies in the experience.
Your experiences in the land of women will teach you everything you want
to know
You may feel a range of emotions, but the important thing is to ACT
DE TODAS FORMAS.
Day 6 Reminder
Her reaction does not matter. It does not matter what you say exactly.
What matters is that you act anyway. What matters is that you
approach anyway. What matters is that you blurt anyway. What matters
is that you speak your truth anyway. With empathy. With ease and
delight
The key is to remind yourself all week that you have what it takes! You
have the right to say hello to her. You have the right to speak your truth.
In fact, you have the obligation.
Day 7 Debrief And Food For Thought
Think back at the story of your ancestors. Remember your forefathers and
ask yourself:
Are you enough to honor your legacy?
Are you going to stand tall on this earth and put a stake in the ground?
Are you going to show up?
Are you going to speak your truth?
Because every time we hesitate to approach a woman that we find
attractive, we are letting our fathers down. And what's more, we are letting
her down. And we are letting ourselves down.
On the other hand, every time you see an attractive girl and you walk over
to her, you just showed up as a man in the world. You are discharging your
duty as a man This is just as much as act of masculinity as your father
from the distant past standing on the earth on a battlefield ... with a sword
in his hand.
The same holds for when we speak our truth during a date or with the
women in our life ... If you show up in this world with your authenticity,
fully present, and you speak your truth, with empathy, you have just
discharged your duty as a man.
So remember to stop measuring your success by the reaction you get and
start measuring your success by the way you put yourself forward into this
world. Next time you are analyzing past interaction, ask yourself:
"Have I shown up? Have I spoken my truth? "
And interestingly, as soon as you start showing up, you instantly become
more attractive to women.
Never forget that the difference between success and failure is not the
absence of doubts or fear. The difference between failure and success is
Not confidence, but your decision to act anyway. Your commitment to speak
your truth anyway. The discipline to keep showing up anyway.
Anybody who ever became good with women did so because I moved
about in the land of women all of the time. In other words, to have
experience in the land of women you will have to create experiences in the
land of women
So whenever you see an attractive woman, start walking and start talking.
Find the willpower and discipline to show up, to act anyway, to DO YOUR
MISSIONS and apply our words to your daily life. Again and again.
Install that habit.
Find the willpower and discipline to seek more excellence in this life. To
seek more excellence in your relationships with women. Even if you do not
know how - find the willpower and discipline to just show up in your
authentic, stumbling self. If you know that is WHAT you want to do, the
HOW will take care of itself.
Show up and create experiences in the land of women. So everything you
say and ask for the rest of these 45 days must be based on experience. On
your experiences in the land of women. We will not allow any discussion
about how to get over fears and doubts. You know already how to get over
Item. Acknowledge them, say thank you, act anyway.
In fact, you have committed to action - you have committed to show up.
Are you going to stick with your commitment?
Your actions will tell if you really want the change you envision, or if you
just say you do.
Consider these questions to fuel the discussion:
1. What did you do different than before?
2. How did it make you feel?
3. Did you change what you believe to be true about yourself, about women?
4. What did you learn?
5. What does it mean to you to be a leader on this earth? To be an Amorati?




Week 2 - Curiosity
Day 8 - Words of Wisdom
"Love is three quarters curiosity." ~ Casanova
Are you curious about your life or are you judging it?
Are you in awe for the mystery of this magical world, or are you trying to figure things out?
Are you desperately looking for an answer to your questions, a quick fix, the next tip ... or are you
enjoying raising the issue and sharing it with others?
Do you think you are not progressing fast enough, or do you realize that you are exactly where you need
to be - sitting in the question?
Are you passionate about your learning and about relationships, or are you trying to take care of it?
once and for all?
Are you strategizing how to get past the walls of the women you meet, or are you sharing your
curiosity and passion with her, enjoying the interaction itself?
Are you listening to her in an attempt to get a step closer to what you want, or because you want to
know who this woman right in front of you really is?
Are you trying to take, to share or are you trying to give?
Are you judging the people close to you ... or do you still have the willingness to listen and
'Understand' them?
How ready are you right now to change your opinion about them?
Are you rigidly steering your children in a direction you foresee, or are you curious about their
path, being there for them every step of the way?
Are you allowing others to continue to be judgmental about you, or are you taking steps to surround
yourself with curious people, people who are willing to understand you?
Are you giving your light where it is not invited or are you saving it for people who want to listen to
what you have to say?
Have you labelled this text by now - filing it under 'like', 'dislike', 'boring', ... - or can you allow it
to raise new questions you can share with others?
Our theme for this week is curiosity.
Curiosity is one of the most important things that you can develop in your life. In fact, intelligence
is curiosity That's all it is. If you are curious, you are automatically intelligent.
And curiosity is seductive to women.
Usually when a man meets a woman he likes, I think - mistakenly - that in order to attract that
woman he must impress her. So I started to brag desperately, trying to tell her as quickly as he can
everything he believes she might find interesting about him. I've talked non-stop, I've tried to be funny,
I have tried to impress her, and quickly overwhelms her with a pile of unremarkable staff
information.
This week we are going to concentrate on changing that completely. We are going to be curious
about her.
Day 9 - Further Explanation
"Go around asking a lot of damfool questions and taking chances. Only through curiosity can we
discover opportunities, and only by gambling can we take advantage of them. "- Clarence Birdseye
Curiosity is not just something to help you approach a girl. It is the essential ingredient for every
dynamic interaction in life. It allows you to approach women in the world with ease and delight,
to have meaningful and fun dates, and to keep your relationships interesting and alive.
And when we talk about curiosity, we are talking about genuine curiosity. It is caring about who she
is and curious about what she loves.
Sometimes reporters will ask: "What is the difference between a Pickup Artist and a Romance?
Artist? "
Well, the answer is this: curiosity ... curiosity and empathy. In other words, the Pickup Artist is out
to win, to conquer, to take ... the Romance Artist is only out to maximize the experiences of himself
and everyone around him. In other words, to share, to give.
Pickup Artists are trying to impress ... Romance Artists are trying to connect.
Start to learn to be genuinely interested in her, and in men and women in general ... and she will
open up to you like you have never seen.
Be puzzled, amazed and enchanted by this incredible person sharing your life, by how we connect,
by attraction and love. She thinks about these things all the time, and there are no men who she can
talk about it with. Be that man!
So here's a practical 3-step process:
1) Encounter a woman
2) Become curious about her (again)
3) Blurt what you are curious about
Day 10 - Your Mission
Your mission this week is to immerse yourself fully in the concept of curiosity.
Be curious about everything, and notice what that creates in you. Be curious about what your doubts
and fears - do not judge them. Just be curious. Be curious about how your body reacts when you are
nervous Be curious about the woman you see over there. Inhabit that kind of thinking.
Build on what you learned in the previous week. Remember to just become aware of your doubts
and fears, remember that you have the blood of champions. This week we add curiosity.
So when you encounter a woman in your life:
1. Become aware of your doubts and fears
2. Remember that you have the blood of champions
Add curiosity ...
3. Become curious about her and the situation
4. Blurt what you are curious about
What is really important is for you to act anyway - in spite of your old story, in spite of your doubts
and fear. What is really important is you approach anyway. What is really important is for you to
talk to her anyway. What is important is that you speak your truth anyway. With curiosity and
empathy
To go and talk to her is a decision to make. You only need to focus on having an interaction. Do not
matter how that interaction goes. The interactions themselves will teach you all you need to know.
So here's the mission:
Speak your curiosity to 10 women.
Approach women with your curiosity.
Speak your curiosity to the woman you are on a date with.
Explore your curiosity for women in your life.
Find AT LEAST 10 instances. If you can do more, even better.
In each of these situations, concentrate only on being curious about everything. Get curious about
her and the situation, use whatever tools we gave you, and blurt whatever you got curious about.
Say: "I'm curious about ..." Then pick something - anything! What you say after that does not
matter at all.
"I'm curious about those shoes ..."
"I'm curious about why I am drawn to you ..."
"I'm curious about why you look so happy ..."
"I'm curious about why men are afraid to talk to girls like you ..."
"I'm curious about why you came on a date with me ..."
"I'm curious about why you decided to marry me. How am I different than other men? Are you
happy? "
Day 11 - Reminder
Be curious about everything, and notice what that creates in you.
Be curious about what your doubts and fears - do not judge them. Just be curious.
Be curious about how your body reacts when you are nervous.
Be curious about the woman you see over there. Inhabit that kind of thinking.
Day 12 - Reminder
1. Become aware of your doubts and fears
2. Remember that you have the blood of champions
3. Become curious about her and the situation
4. Blurt what you are curious about: "I am curious ..."
Do this at least 10 times until the end of the week.
Day 13 - Reminder
Speak your curiosity to 10 women.
Approaching, dating, in your relationships.
In each of these situations, concentrate only on being curious about everything. Get curious about
her and the situation, use whatever tools we gave you, and blurt whatever you got curious about.
Say: "I'm curious about ..." Then pick something - anything!
Day 14 - Debrief And Food For Thought
Curiosity will help you fulfill your duty as a man.
Curiosity will be your number one tool to act anyway and to approach to you you are drawn to.
Curiosity will also be your number one tool when you are dating that woman, and when you are in a
long-term relationship with her.
The fantastic thing is that you will become good at what you are curious about. If you are really
curious about computers, you will become good at them. If you are really curious about women,
you will be good with women.
And curiosity is attractive to women. If you are curious, if you are interested, you are automatically
interesting to her. If you are interested in her, you are interesting and seductive to her. You do not
have to have something interesting to say - you have to know how to ask the right questions.
So CHOOSE CURIOSITY and curiosity will breed curiosity. Worlds will open up to you ...
In practical terms, when moving in the land of women it looks like this:
1) You encounter a woman
2) You become curious about her
3) You blurt what you are curious about, starting with "I am curious ..."
Blurting your curiosity and asking the right questions shows that you commit to being present with
her and being present with her means that you hear what she is saying, you know what she really
wants to say and you do what is expected from you as a leader.
When reflecting on your encounters, check your intentions:
Were you really curious about her?
Did you have empathy and compassion for her?
Did you want to take or do you want to share, or give?
Are you a true romance artist?
Are you committed to becoming one of the Amorati and live by this code of conduct?
If you can stick with that commitment and do your missions till the end of this program, you will be
invited into the ranks of the Amorati.
Here are some questions to lock in the learning and fuel a discussion.
1. Were you able to choose curiosity more than before?
2. What were you curious about?
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Did it change her reaction? Were you surprised by her reaction?
5. What did you learn from your encounters?
6. Why is the curiosity of a 'nice guy' not attractive to women?


Week 3 - Invitations
Day 15 - Words Of Wisdom
We are moving deeper into the land of women ...
If anything can be called the "Ars Amorata Method", it is simply this:
Put invitations into the world, and leave them out there!
In other words, do not try anything. Do not be out for any specific result. Remain completely open to
all outcomes, and attached to none.
Do not ask a girl out. Or if she is free. Or if she would like to go for coffee. Or what she is doing
later.
Instead, simply lay out an invitation. And do so without any presumption or expectation.
Say something like:
"There's something about you ... and I do not know what it is. You seem very interesting ... cancel
your plans tonight and come out with me ... "
You can say this very early in the interaction - even as the opener!
Remember to say it with a smile, and with delight! And without apology ...
There are 3 levels of invitation:
1. Asking her out, and then creating a date you hope she likes
This is the way we usually do it. And it is better than not inviting at all. Again, we tend to be
"Asking" here. And it is a regular date - completely dependent upon its acceptance.
2. Inviting her to something you are already doing
This is much better than "asking." It is a great improvement from the regular 'dating frame'. Most
PU teachers are advising this.
3. Inviting her into nothing
This is truly powerful. It is leading. It is confident. You are simply inviting her into the presence of
you! You are inviting her into your world. It makes no difference whatsoever what it is that you do.
Invitation into nothing ... Women will never be offended by a man who invites her into his presence
- as long as he does it with respect, with empathy and without presumption or expectation.
Putting invitations into the world is the essence and foundation of the Ars Amorata philosophy.
Day 16 - Further Explanation
If you want to understand the Ars Amorata Method, then watch the movie "Vicky Cristina
Barcelona".
It is shocking how similar Javier Bardem does in that movie is to the Ars Amorata Method. Item
is the Ars Amorata Method at display with exactly the demeanor and unassuming attitude one
should have when talking to a woman!
Watch the scene here:
Take note of what he does just before the minute mark.
I have simply invited, with a smile on his face, without presumption, and without withdrawing the
invitation. This attitude and mindset is what the Ars Amorata philosophy has been trying to
articulate for years!
Notice that I have never spoken to these girls before, and I have simply walked up and invite them to
spend the weekend with him, and to make love with him. "Who exactly is going to make love?
Hopefully the three of us ... "
Look at his relaxed state. Look at how he does not ask if they are free. I have simply states what I have
wants This is exactly correct.
The blond is receptive and finds the invitation fun, but the brunette seemingly rebuffs him and
basically tells him to "Go away." This is what is happening on the surface level. But internally, the
brunette can not stop thinking about him.
Now watch a later scene here:
This is important!
Notice how the brunette tries to shut him down, going into a long speech about how she is not that
kind of girl, and how is she happy with her fiancee, etc. And watch him as he sits just sits there and
smiles - without apology! He puts his invitation out there, and she certainly does not have to accept
Item. He is completely fine with that.
Do you see any sense of rejection on his face in his body language or in his demeanor?
This is highly instructive, and exactly what we have been trying to tell guys for years.
Day 17 - Your Mission
Do this:
Present 10 women with an invitation.
Approach 10 women and present them with an invitation.
Or invite the woman you are on a date with (yes, invite her again).
Or invite the women in your life.
Just like that. As soon as you have a conversation going, you can invite her. Do not ask in any way.
Simply state what you want. Remember the spirit of ease and delight.
If you want, simply ask her to join you in something you are already doing.
So "Are you free later?" Or "Would you like to get coffee sometime?"
Instead, "Come with me tonight ..." and "Here's an idea: I'm doing so and so later on ... you should
come with me! "and" I understand you can not ... but you are still invited ... "
And even better, invite her in to nothing ... into your world ... into the experience of you ... "That's
amazing You should come with me. "And" I have no idea what we are going to do ... but you are
still invited! "
Simply invite her without expectation, and then leave the invitation out there. Invite thinking that
she has not real good reason to refuse, but do not get disappointed if she does. Invite without
presumption and leave your invitation out there.
If she says she can not (for whatever reason), just smile and say: "I understand, and you're still
invited ... "
Invite at least 10 women - the only reason to not reach 10 is if you had too many women accept
your invitation Feel free to invite more.
Remember to have fun - ease and delight. You can not fail!
Day 18 - Reminder
Put invitations in the world, and leave them out there. Inhabit the spirit of invitations by putting out
invitations.
Day 19 - Reminder
Present 10 women with an invitation.
Invite when approaching, when dating, invite the women who are already in your life.
Invite her to date, invite her to something you are already doing, invite her into nothing.
Day 20 - Reminder
Simply invite her without expectation, and then leave the invitation out there.
Invite thinking that she has not real good reason to refuse, but do not get disappointed if she does.
Invite without presumption and leave your invitation out there.
Remember to have fun - ease and delight. You can not fail!
Day 21 - Debrief and Food For Thoughts
Can you feel the spirit of invitation?
Have you fed and that spirit by inviting?
Put invitations out into the world, and leave them out there!
In other words, do not try anything, do not be out for any specific result. Be completely open to all
outcomes, and attached to none. Desire without dwelling on it.
Think of the spirit of invitation in this way: you are the organizer of a party that has been THE
PARTY OF THE YEAR for years now ... you KNOW it is the most popular party of the year, and
you can give out invitations to anyone you want. This year, you know it will be a great party again,
independent of this or that girl accepting the invitation.
In practical terms it looks like laying out your invitation with a statement, rather than with a
question. It looks like laying out your invitation, and leaving it out there. Do not apologize, do not
defend or explain, and do not take your invitation back! It looks like inviting her into nothing!
Go and rent Vicky Christina Barcelona to see how it is done.
More importantly, go out and practice your spirit of invitation. Explore that spirit and find out how
it looks to you. We cannot stress enough how acting anyway, and acting more is impossible to
underestimate. If you want to learn more, if you want to learn faster, what you need to do is ACT
MORE. Move into the land of women… move amongst them…
Here are some questions to lock in the learning and fuel a discussion on invitations:
1. Were you able to lay out more invitation than before? Did you leave the invitation out there?
2. Did you invite her into nothing?
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Did it change her reaction? Were you surprised by her reaction?
5. What did you learn from your encounters?
6. Why is there no rejection when you invite?
Onwards gentlemen – next week more tools to help you acting more and making your journey into
the land of women a wondrous one


Week 4 - Celebrating Her
Day 22 - Word of Wisdom
A man who loves women is loved by women.
A man who loves women, and proclaims it to the world, is loved by women.
There is remarkable truth and clarity to loving women, and celebrating the fact that you do. Women
are not creatures to be conquered, they are treasures to be cherished and celebrated.
Look at all the women who enter into your life as a surprise gift.
A surprise gift, especially for you.
“For me?” Yes, for you! Women are magnificent, they are a beauty that needs a witness, and
whenever you allow yourself to become that witness, she will open up to you in fantastic ways.
“You are magnificent … you just needs to know it.”
Before, some were wondering how to get curious about a woman that has just entered your life.
Some were wondering how to be curious about a woman you just met.
Similarly, you may be wondering: “How can I celebrate a woman I just met or a woman I am about
to approach? How could I possibly celebrate a woman I do not know yet, a woman that has just
entered my life?”
If you are asking yourself that question, realize that the celebration of that woman does not require
‘knowing’ her. Do you need to know what’s inside a surprise gift to be all happy about it?
Celebrating her does not require knowing her; it needs empathy. Empathy for her, her female
energy, her being … celebrating her only requires your empathy and your decision to celebrate this
fantastic creature in front of you.
And remember this: talk to women in the context of all women. “I love women …and look at
you.” Celebrate womanhood. Celebrate the spirit of women in her – you love women and she’s a
great example of that.
Women know your intentions and if they are in the presence of a real man who truly loves women,
and that man is celebrating her, then she must be a real woman! (A practical thing that illustrates
this is to always celebrate your ex-girlfriends when asked what she was like by your new
girlfriend).
Celebrating the womanhood in her, celebrating her from beginning to end, no stages, no
escalation… celebrate her every time you see her like it is the first time all over again. Especially
the women that are already in your life!
Now, if it is true that a man who loves women is loved by women, then why is the ‘nice guy’ so
unsuccessful with women?
Because the nice guy’s love for and celebration of women is not unconditional. The nice guy has
hidden intentions behind his niceness. The nice guy “loves” and “celebrates”, but in reality, he is
hoping he will get something from her, hoping to take something from her.
The nice guy’s hidden agenda is taking, while the intentions of a real man are all about giving and
sharing.
A real man gives her the gift of curiosity, of listening, of invitation … and of celebration. A man
who knows where he is going, can allow himself to be a slave to women. A man who allows himself
to be himself, has gained the freedom to be helpless to his desire for women. He’s free to portray
desire without being needy (the opposite of what pick-up artists teach us), and as a consequence, he
finds himself being invaluable and intoxicating to her.
Day 23 - Further Explanation
“You’re magnificent, you just need to know it”.
Hold eye contact when you say it … really mean it – stand your ground, be curious and have
empathy, be amazed and delight in this wonderful creature in front of you. She’s a surprise gift
especially for you. You can cut her off in conversation to say that or you can even start talking to
her with that phrase.
Here is another practical example of the way to celebrate women (also layer it over top of all the
previous themes – curiosity, invitation,… all with ease and delight!):
You: Wow, look at you in that dress! You look spectacular. I was over there and I saw you standing
over here, and I just had to come say hello…
Her: Well, thank you!
You: I have never seen you before. Amazing, huh? I usually know all the girls around here.
Her: Hmm, really…
You: Of course! Tell you what… why don’t you cancel your plans and come out with me this
evening? We will celebrate!
Her: I can’t. I have a boyfriend.
You: (leaning in and winking) Ah, but that’s not what I asked.
Her: (laughing) That’s true…
You: Is that a no?
Her: Hmm, I’d like to, but I can’t…
You: I understand, of course. And don’t worry, I completely respect that you have a boyfriend. But
hey, I would be remiss if I didn’t come over here and say hello to you, now wouldn’t I? And I would
be completely out of character if I didn’t offer you a shared adventure tonight. That’s just my
nature.
Her: That’s refreshing to hear. In another time and place, perhaps…
You: (looking in her eyes and smiling) Yes, I can tell… just by looking at you… in another time and
place, you and I would be the most exquisite lovers…
Her: Oh really? How can you be so sure? You don’t even know my name…
You: Ah, but can you feel that in the air? That sense of destiny, that connection?
Her: (smiles)
You: (laughing) Of course you can… look at you… you totally understand what I am saying…
Another, very advanced, but not unimportant note: celebrating her, portraying your desire to her
without being needy, allows her to catch you in your lie, and it makes her complicit in her own
seduction … a fundamental part of a successful male-female interaction.
You: “You are magnificent!”
She: “You say that to all women.”
You: “Yes … but you’re my favourite.” (smile, wink)
In short, a real man, grounded and centered, authentic and honest with himself and her, has fought
for and found the freedom to act silly and romantic around women. He no longer has to temper
himself for fear of appearing needy. He can celebrate her without reservation, and it allows her to
open up and share the beauty of life with him.
Allow yourself to desire her without dwelling on it!
Day 24 - Your Mission
Find 10 women and celebrate each one as a surprise gift especially for you.
How do you do this? You say, with delight and a smile on your face, “Wow, you look absolutely
stunning.”
Or you say, “Wow, look at you in that dress! You look spectacular. I was over there and I saw you
standing over here, and I just had to come say hello…”
Fill your conversation with amazement and celebrating:
“Wow, that’s incredible.”
You can cut her off in mid-sentence and celebrate her:
“You are magnificent.”
You can celebrate your girlfriend or wife:
“You are magnificent, you know that?”
“You are magnificent, you just need to know it.”
“Did I tell you already that you’re magnificent today?”
She: “Only 3 times”
“Ah… I just did not want to forget”
You can let yourself get caught in your lie:
You: “You are magnificent!”
She: “You say that to all women.”
You: “Yes … and you’re my favourite.” (smile, wink)
You can celebrate her and the moment and create what you want:
You: “Isn’t it incredible?”
She: “What?”
You: “This! You, me, us meeting … look at what’s happening here … come with me and let’s
celebrate life!”
And now let’s get more specific… for each of the 10 women you celebrate, you must say this phrase
at some point: “I am in love with women…” Say it all the time.
If she asks you about something about you, why you do something for example, your answer should
always be “Why? Because I love women!”
Remember though, that the words presented here are not the end all. In fact, they are nothing but a
vehicle for the spirit of celebration, the spirit of invitations, the spirit of curiosity, the spirit of ease
and delight.
More important than what you say and what you do is the spirit you inhabit when you say what you
say and do what you do.
These words are a vehicle for the spirit of celebration in the sense that speaking these words are a
training tool to start feeling the spirit we talk about.
Day 25 - Reminder
Find 10 women and celebrate each one as a surprise gift especially for you.
Fill your conversation with amazement and celebrating.
Day 26 - Reminder
For each of the 10 women you celebrate, you must say this phrase at some point: “I am in love with
women…” Say it all the time.
If she asks you about something about you, why you do something for example, your answer should
always be “Why? Because I love women!”
Day 27 - Reminder
Remember that the words presented for your misson are not the end all. In fact, they are nothing but
a vehicle for the spirit of celebration, the spirit of invitations, the spirit of curiosity, the spirit of ease
and delight.
More important than what you say and what you do is the spirit you inhabit when you say what you
say and do what you do.
These words are a vehicle for the spirit of celebration in the sense that speaking these words are a
training tool to start feeling the spirit we talk about.
Day 28 - Debrief and Food For Thought
Do you love women?
Then proclaim it to the entire world!
A man who loves women is loved by women. A man who loves women, and PROCLAIMS it to the
world, is loved by women. Start proclaiming your love for women: “Because I love women” should
be your answer to all of her questions. “I love women, and look at you.”
The spirit of celebrating women is one of the hardest to get for most men, but it is essential for a
true seducer.
Compliment women as a true lover of women – compliment women in the context of all women. It
means you celebrate the femininity in her, it means you celebrate the femininity in all women. A
true lover of women loves all women, not other women.
A true lover of women knows that the power he has over women lies in the power they have over
him.
And a real woman loves the compliment of a true lover, not despite his love for women, not despite
his celebration of femininity, but because of it.
Never forget, that a beautiful woman entering your life is a gift, a surprise gift for YOU.
When you celebrate her in that way you are doing two things.
First, you are creating a space for her and invite her to step into that space, twirl, and shine like a
beautiful woman.
Second, you are holding her to a higher standard. You are creating a space in which beautiful
women will show up. You are not expecting it from her specifically, but from every woman that
wants to accept the invitation to dance with you.
We hope the practical suggestions, and your application, conveys and makes you feel the spirit of
what we are trying to say here.
These questions will help you lock in the learning and steer the conversation on celebrating her:
1. Were you able to celebrate women more than before?
2. How did it make you feel?
3. How did she react? Did it surprise you?
4. What did you learn from this mission?
5. Why is a true lover of women loved for his love, while a nice guy gets punished for it?
6. Should you celebrate women you are not romantically interested in?
7. We all understand the physical act of “celebrating”. Describe what we mean when we talk about
the “spirit of celebration”.
8. What do you love about women?
9. How is curiosity and invitations a form of celebrating women?
10. Does celebrating women have an effect on your own delight, curiosity and ability to celebrate
life?
11. What does it mean to you when we say: “… a real man, grounded and centered, authentic and
honest with himself and her, has fought for and found the freedom to act silly and romantic around
women”?
12. What does it mean when we say: “… a man who loves women is loved by women”?
The past 4 weeks have all been about becoming a charming man. A man who speaks his truth, is
curious, invites, and celebrates women.
In the last 2 weeks of the Way of the Amorati – Fundamentals, we will introduce you to the themes
that will turn you from a charming man into a magnetic man … the man she cannot stop thinking
about.
In these 2 weeks, we can only introduce you to these more advanced themes – they will transform
you from a charming man into a magnetic man.
If you get a sense of it in the next two weeks, and you want to explore more, then know that we deal
with 13 different themes of masculine edge in our 90 Day Program for Amorati only: the Way of the
Amorati – Advanced.
If you think you will finish this course in time, then you can apply to be part of the next Way of the
Amorati – Advanced.
Onward, gentlemen … the last 2 weeks before you are invited to become one of the Amorati!


Week 5 - Masculine Edge
Day 29 - Words Of Wisdom
Throughout the program we have been getting questions on how to create ‘sexual tension’ in the
interaction.
To create sexual tension is indeed the number one predicament for men who are charming enough
to bring women into their life.
You all understand there is a need for this, and yet we have purposely not presented it before this
stage of the program because of how easily this concept can be misunderstood without the building
blocks we have given you so far.
The themes we have presented so far have all been about the essence of charm, of chivalry, of how
to be debonair. Curiosity, invitations, celebrating her… all with the spirit of ease and delight and
empathy… these are all essential parts of charisma, and they will certainly make you a charming
man.
But they do not make you a magnetic man. They do not make you a woman’s fantasy.
What is needed to go from charming to magnetic and irresistible? What is needed to go from the
man she enjoys being around to being the man she cannot stop thinking about?
Visualize a scale from left to right:
We start out alone, on the left, with only doubts and fears. As we ventured further to the right in this
program, and in our understanding, we found ourselves increasingly in the land of women. And as
we continue with these last couple of themes, you will get the sense that we have come back to a
place of being at one with ourselves. Not alone and lonely, like before, but standing tall and assured,
needing no validation from women or anyone.
We often talk about the theme of Masculine Edge having the quality of darkness, and that is in no
small amount due to the fact that the concepts we are trying to describe are very hard to understand,
and even harder to teach or to acquire. It is at the edge of our own understanding and we are
ceaselessly exploring it.
As i said, the Way of the Amorati – Advanced, the 90 day program for Amorati, deals with 13
different facets of Masculine Edge!
For this week, however, we want to give you a glimpse at the essence of this mystique that is so
needed in the world, and explore it with you as extensively as we can. We have selected a couple
essential ideas that, if internalized, will bring you from charming to magnetic and irresistible.
The crucial thing to remember is that none of this will work without empathy for women. This is
the vital ingredient that sets us apart from cavemen and pickup artists. These concepts will come
across as brutish if misunderstood or misused by men who have no empathy or real love for
women.
Caveats aside, here is what is missing in men today:
1) Conspiracy (complicity): Women want to be complicit in their own seduction. They want to be
caught up in something, a romance novel, an intrigue, and it is your job to create that. As the movie
Hitch puts it, no woman ever wakes up and says, “I hope I don’t get swept off my feet today!”
While traditional teachers try to have you see women as the ‘enemy’ to be conquered, we teach that
women are already on your side. Women are on your side; they are cheering for you to be
successful in your interaction with them. There is no conquering, it is not you against her. Instead, it
is you with her against the world.
2) Sexual Energy: Be non-apologetic about your desire for her. Without empathy, of course, this
will be interpreted as caveman and aggressive, but with empathy for women, letting her know that
you are delighted to be a man, and that you are physically attracted to her, is the quality that takes
you from being a charming man to a magnetic man.
In other words, she gets the sense that you would be absolutely delighted to give her the gift of
pulling her hair and bending her over! Do not hide your desires for her. If your intentions are good,
showing this desire is not something you merely get away with… it is an essential part of chemistry
and attraction and seduction – the element that makes you truly irresistible.
The only way to develop an intuition on how to create the notion of conspiracy, of complicity, on
how to present your sexual energy without apology, and without coming across as caveman or rude,
is by experience.
By spending time in the land of women, you will start to understand when to say and when to do
what.
These are very powerful and DANGEROUS tools! So please remember your role as a man of
respect and honor.
You are never trying to take something from her. Only sharing something magical with her…
Day 30 - Further Explanation
Let’s explore these concepts further… conspiracy and sexual energy.
Casanova was all about the notion of creating a conspiracy with her. Nothing he ever did was overt
or an attempt to out-alpha other men. An example encounter he had will illustrate it:
Casanova encountered the beautiful Parisian actress, Valville, and watching her at a party, he was
intrigued by her. But rather than try to be more impressive than all the other men, he had a
surreptitious note sent to her, that began:
“Madam, I should like to begin an intrigue with you…”
This is what we are talking about. Women love intrigue, and if you can give her the feeling that the
two of you are going to enter into a conspiracy together, an intrigue, just the two of you against the
world… well, this is a very magnetic and leading dynamic.
Go watch ‘Casino Royale’ again. There is a scene there Daniel Craig invites a woman to have a
drink at his place. She stares at him, and he holds the gaze. This is a knowing, a strength, a
masculine non-apology for the invitation. There was no hint of anything like “Would you like to get
a coffee with me?”
Two more movies:
‘The Tailor of Panama’… Watch how Pierce Brosnan talks in sub-text to the woman he works with
at the Embassy. Very electric, with just a hint of danger.
‘The Thomas Crowne Affair’… Again, watch the interaction between Pierce Brosnan and Rene
Russo. Look at the way he looks at her, and the way he smiles at her. Conspiracy all the way!
Finally, you can start reading a little bit more about it here.
Day 31 - Your Mission
Go into the rest of the week and create a conspiracy with 10 women.
Approach or date new women.
Reconsider the way you relate to the women in your life.
Do the same thing you did in the previous weeks, incorporating all the themes from before. And
also incorporate this new concept of masculine edge through the creation of conspiracy – smiling,
winking, sub-communication – everything that makes up the mystique of men.
First of all, focus carefully on the intent behind the things you say. Empathy is the number one thing
to concentrate on. And never stray from the spirit of humor and invitation and charm and ease and
delight as you practice adding in your masculine edge. Always make sure you show your genuine
love and curiosity for women.
For at least 5 of the 10 women you encounter, say this phrase exactly: “… you should run away
with me!”
For example, as an opening: “Wow, I like your (dress|lipstick|hat|smile). You look fantastic… you
should run away with me!”
Or during the middle of the conversation: “Wow, I have never met a girl from Hawaii before… I
like it! You should run away with me!”
Use your imagination, but include that phrase!
And as you know already, do not have any trace of seriousness in you at all. Smile and wink, like
you are just kidding. Put a sparkle in your eye.
Having fun, smiling, … smile and wink.
Concentrate on the intent behind what you are saying. Don’t look for any result.
Ease and delight!
And for the other 5 girls of the 10 you encounter, use your intuition and be a little more sexual.
With absolute kindness and respect, of course!
Say exactly this phrase:
“Look at you… you’re a bad girl… I like it!”
For instance: “Look at you in that incredible dress… wow… you’re a bad girl… I like it!”
And lastly, if any of these ten women tells you that she has a boyfriend, do not skip a beat! You
must not change your facial expression or your body language or your hand gestures or your smile
at all.
Instead say this: “Wow, does this mean we are going to have to be secret lovers? Wow… I don’t
know…”
Smile, wink.
Remember, nothing but empathy…
Remember also, that the words we suggest you say are not the end all. In fact, they are nothing but a
vehicle for the spirit of masculine edge as they were a vehicle for the spirit of curiosity, invitations,
celebrating her and ease and delight.
More important than what you say and what you do is the spirit you inhabit when you say what you
say and do what you do.
These words are a vehicle for the spirit of masculine edge in the sense that speaking these words are
a training tool to start feeling the spirit we talk about.
Day 32 - Reminder
Create a conspiracy with 10 women.
Approach or date new women.
Reconsider the way you relate to the women in your life.
For at least 5 of the 10 women you encounter, say this phrase exactly: “… you should run away
with me!”
Day 33 - Reminder
For the other 5 girls of the 10 you encounter, use your intuition and be a little more sexual. With
absolute kindness and respect, of course!
Say exactly this phrase:
“Look at you… you’re a bad girl… I like it!”
For instance: “Look at you in that incredible dress… wow… you’re a bad girl… I like it!”
Day 34 - Reminder
If any of these ten women tells you that she has a boyfriend, do not skip a beat! You must not
change your facial expression or your body language or your hand gestures or your smile at all.
Instead say this: “Wow, does this mean we are going to have to be secret lovers? Wow… I don’t
know…”
Smile, wink.
Remember, nothing but empathy…
Day 35 - Debrief and Food For Thought
While the main part of this program is about becoming a charming man, becoming aware of and
displaying a lower moving energy is an essential ingredient of an integrated man. It cannot be
underestimated and it is the number one thing that most of us men are missing.
Your masculine edge, your sexual desire, or anything you feel passionate and strong about is the
element in you that will take you from being a charming man to being a magnetic man. It is the
ingredient that makes you a woman’s fantasy, and it should be the first thing in the room when you
enter.
Having said that, masculine edge is very hard to explain. It is something you will start recognizing
and celebrating when interacting and relating to women.
A good way to summarize how masculine edge shows up in your relationship to women is
CONSPIRACY. A man conspiring with a woman. Conspiracy is symptomatic for your
understanding of women.
Decide to start picking up signals from women and you will start seeing them. You will start
recognizing the rhythm and flow … the dance … the sub-communication. Once you recognize that
language, you can start speaking it. You can start creating it. You can create conspiracy with your
words … but they are less needed than you think. A look, a touch, or the mere projection of your
energy …
Masculine edge is a very complicated and very personal part of your attractive traits. You need to
explore how it looks to you. Decide to become aware of what masculine edge means to you. Decide
also to explore how it shows up in your relationship with women — try to pick up on the subcommunication
of women and explore how you can create conspiracy with her.
It is a life-long journey, but once you start seeing this, complete new worlds open up – and they are
wonderful worlds!
If you really want to explore Masculine Edge, then enroll in the next Way of the Amorati –
Advanced.
In the meantime, these questions will help you lock in the learning and steer the conversation about
masculine edge:
1.   Did you consciously try to put more magnetism into your interactions this week?
2.   How did it make you feel when you projected this energy?
3.   What were the outward manifestations of this?
4.   How did she react? Did it surprise you?
5.   What did you learn from this mission?
6.   Do you think that projecting sexual energy is a conscious act of making your intentions
verbally explicit or of not hiding your intentions?
7.   Should you give your masculine edge to women you are not romantically interested in?
8.   Can you see how giving a woman the gift of desiring her is the culmination of the Ars Amorata
philosophy?



Week 6 - Your Way
Day 36 - Words of Wisdom
We started this journey with the most important mission: the Amorati Ritual and your List.
We started this journey by urging you to start a list of what you want your life to look like, because
knowing what you want and connecting to the feeling of having what you want is the most
important issue in becoming a more charming man and a more magnetic man.
If you know what you want, and you make no excuses for it, communicating that to the world
around you is secondary and almost automatic. If you know what you want, you’ll give yourself the
freedom to be yourself. If you know what you want, you’ll give the others the freedom to be
themselves and express themselves. If you know what you want, you’ll stop worrying about what
others think of you. If you know what you want, the “how” will take care of itself, and you’ll attract
the things you deserve.
The core of charm and of magnetism is knowing what you want, and women are attracted to men
who know what they want, who are unapologetic for trying to get what they want; men who are
passionate about taking the next step into getting what they want.
Women are attracted by men with purpose, by men who are on an adventure. Women are attracted
by men with a mission, men with vision. Women are attracted by men who are on their way.
Women want to go on an adventure with purposeful men … but they do not want to be the
adventure. Too often, men forget this. Too often, guys live purposeful lives, but as soon as that
woman enters their lives, SHE becomes his purpose. She becomes the adventure.
There is no surer way to kill the attraction.
Too often you see guys shifting their attention from what they are passionate about (the reason she’s
attracted to him) to her and only her (the reason she loses her attraction). It’s just too much pressure
for her.
A woman does not want to be the adventure – she wants to be taken on an adventure.
Day 37 - Further Explanation
Your authentic self is your attractive self.
This program is not meant to show you the right way. It talks about the premises of love and
seduction, but they are only tools to find your authentic way to meeting, dating and relating to
women.
Nobody should try to be Zan, or Hans. You have to find your own way. The more you learn about a
certain way, the more you should become in accord with your own.
You have to carve your own way, your own approach to meeting, dating and relating to women.
Finding your authenticity is what this program is all about.
Finding your authentic approach to approaching, to dating, to relating, to love, to seduction, …
Finding your authentic self, finding your attractive self and maximizing it.
We introduced this program with the concept of designing our life through the Amorati Ritual –
discovering what you want your life to look like, not making excuses for it, and taking the first step
forward to that new way of experiencing the world.
Finding out who you are, what you want and where you want your life to go.
Finding your authenticity.
Finding out what is real to you.
Finding your truth and speaking it to the world.
Finding your authenticity and finding better ways to speak your truth and how to project yourself
into the world and make genuine connections.
Your authentic self is your attractive self. It is the part of you that is led by your higher self, the part
of you that aspires to excellence and to making this world better.
You are already resourceful, complete and whole. You are already attractive. You just need to find
the qualities that are authentic to you, the qualities that make you attractive, and maximize them.
Find your attractive self and speak it to the world. You can become aware and add other elements to
make you even more attractive, but you already have everything to be completely attractive.
To find that authenticity and attractive self we have pushed you out of your comfort zone.
To find you and what works for you we have asked you to push the envelope.
We have given you a tools to go out there and experiment, to become curious of what lies outside of
your comfort zone and to act despite your doubts and fears.
We have given you the best tools to craft your authentic approach to seduction.
You were put in situations that you felt you were not ready for, but it is the only way to find your
authenticity, to find your attractive self and maximize it.
Everything you desire is outside of your comfort zone… otherwise you would already have it.
To go out there, with the tools of curiosity, invitations, celebrating, masculine edge… with ease and
delight, with empathy is the only way to find your authentic self, your attractive self and find out
what works for you.
This is a never ending journey and the only one that matters.
Finding one’s own authenticity. How do you know when you find something that is true to you,
authentic and that works for you? You cannot fake it – you just know when you see it.
So get out there and live life fully – go and reveal your authenticity to the world, find your attractive
self and speak it to the world. The world needs more of you and the time is now.
Day 38 - Your Mission
Finding your authenticity is what this program is all about. Carving your authentic approach to
meeting, dating and relating to women.
And only by moving in the land of women will you begin to become better with women.
Why not combine both?
Go and have 5 conversations with women this week about authenticity.
What does authenticity mean to you? What does authenticity mean to her? Sit in the questions with
her and explore them with her.
Tell another 5 women: “I am a student of life, and I seek more excellence in my interactions with
women.”
Then talk about authenticity. Talk about authenticity, honesty, vulnerability, intimacy… Talk to her
also about curiosity, about invitations, and about celebrations. Talk about this program. All with
ease and delight and wonderment.
If you feel like it, ask her what you think would be your most attractive trait. You’ll be amazed at
the answers you get.
Tell 5 women: “We have been talking for 5 minutes, and women are very intuitive about men. que
is, according to you, my most attractive trait?”
Go in with the intention of finding your authenticity, and do not try to hide whatever your intentions
are. Show her that you are sitting in the question, that you want to find out… talk about true
connections and how we connect in our brokenness.
You can say the phrase literally. Tell 5 women: “Men and women connect in their brokenness.”
Get really interested in your authenticity and in the authenticity of the woman across from you.
Shortcut the chit-chat and speak directly to her heart. Hold yourself and her to this higher standard.
If you get into chit-chat, say: “Let’s skip the chit-chat… I want to know who this woman sitting
across from me really is. Tell me something interesting about you.” These conversations will help
you to find out your authenticity.
Remember: no seriousness, but genuine wonder and ease and delight!
Day 39 - Reminder
Go and have 5 conversations with women this week about authenticity.
What does authenticity mean to you? What does authenticity mean to her? Sit in the questions with
her and explore them with her.
Remember ease and delight!
Day 40 - Reminder
Tell 5 women: “I am a student of life, and I seek more excellence in my interactions with women.”
Then talk about authenticity. Talk about authenticity, honesty, vulnerability, intimacy… Talk to her
also about curiosity, about invitations, and about celebrations. Talk about this program. All with
ease and delight and wonderment.
If you feel like it, ask her what you think would be your most attractive trait. You’ll be amazed at
the answers you get.
Day 41 - Reminder
Tell 5 women: “We have been talking for 5 minutes, and women are very intuitive about men. que
is, according to you, my most attractive trait?”
Go in with the intention of finding your authenticity, and do not try to hide whatever your intentions
are. Show her that you are sitting in the question, that you want to find out… talk about true
connections and how we connect in our brokenness.
Remember: no seriousness, but genuine wonder and ease and delight!
Day 42 - Debrief And Food For Thoughts
Authenticity, and your authentic desire is a concept that is very hard to explain.
In fact, it cannot really be explained since it is a very personal issue. Nobody can tell you how your
authenticity looks. Nobody can tell you what your authentic desire looks like. It is your authenticity,
your honesty, your vulnerability, your intimacy,…
It all comes down to who you are today and what you want your life to look like. Questions that
need to be answered by YOU.
It is through practice, through experiences in the land of women, that you will develop your
authenticity, your authentic approach to love and seduction, to approaching, dating and relating.
You have to carve your own way.
All we did this week was raise some issues, raise some questions, raise some awareness to guide
you along this journey towards YOUR AUTHENTICITY.
Evidently, the journey does not stop today – the journey does not stop at the end of this program –
that journey never ends! If there is one thing we want to affect you with it is our excitement to be on
this journey. It is probably the most important transformation you can go through. It is probably the
most important CHOICE you can make. As soon as you embrace this journey with ease and delight
you will have arrived.
The only sense of arrival you will ever get is to know you are on the right track, and as soon as you
embrace this journey with ease and delight, every day of the rest of your life will be a beautiful day.
If you want to know what is next on this journey, then consider the Way of the Amorati – Advanced.
Day 43 - The Amorati
As you have come towards the end of the Way of the Amorati – Fundamentals, we want to invite
you to become a member of the Amorati.
The next item will explain how you can become one of the Amorati; first, we want to tell you a little
bit about this world wide close-knit fraternity.
Previously, a man could only become one of the Amorati if he had met us in person, but this has
changed. This has changed because we have been listening to all of you and realize that we need to
honor the commitment to excellence that the guys all over the world want to make – a commitment
to excellence in their lives and in their relationship with women. Making it to the end of the Way of
the Amorati – Fundamentals shows that commitment.
So this is an official invitation to you to become a member of our worldwide organization, the
Amorati. What’s the cost? Nothing. It is simply our way of honoring your commitment to the Way
of the Amorati and staying connected with you guys who love the Ars Amorata philosophy.
Being one of the Amorati is first and foremost a commitment to more excellence, and so, if you are
still as committed as you were when you started the Way of the Amorati – Fundamentals, we want
to honor that commitment, and make you one of the Amorati today.
There are four levels of Amorati membership, depending on the commitment level to living one’s
life in accordance with the Ars Amorata philosophy.
The four levels of the Amorati are:
1.    Amorati
2.    Amorati Ambassador
3.    Amorati Elite
4.    Amorati Executive
In essence, the progression of commitment goes like this: Speaking > Doing > Being. A simple
metaphor is this: The Amorati have pledged allegiance to the cause, the Amorati Ambassadors are
actively building and supplying the ships, and the Amorati Elite are the ones out there in the ships,
binding themselves to the mast and, like Edmond from the Count of Monte Cristo, crying out into
the storm, “Do your worst! For I will do mine!”
Overiew:
The Amorati are lovers of women. The Amorati are lovers of life. The Amorati are treasure hunters
and raconteurs. The Amorati are on a lifelong quest for beauty and adventure. The Amorati believe
in the rebirth of romance.
Amorati:
A man becomes a member of the Amorati when he has committed to living his life in accordance
with the Ars Amorata philosophy, however he manifests that. We are proud to call these men our
friends and peers because of their commitment to more excellence in their lives and in their
relationships with women.
Benefits of the Amorati:
•       The Amorati package
•       Connected to the conversation
•       Connected to the international brotherhood of men
•       Member of the Amorati Facebook group
•       Open invitation to all free Amorati Retreats
•       First option for limited seats at all Ars Amorata paid events
•       25% discount for all Ars Amorata events
•       Permission to use the trademarked title “Amorati” (on business cards, websites, etc)
•       Permission to use the trademarked Amorati logo (on business cards, websites, etc)
Amorati Ambassadors:
The Amorati Ambassadors have taken that initial commitment of words and extended it into actions,
from speaking to doing. These men have personally contributed their time and energy to the
advancement of the Ars Amorata message in a significant way, and thus are honored with the title of
Ambassador.
Benefits of the Amorati Ambassador:
•       Everything already offered to the Amorati, plus:
•       Member of the Amorati Ambassador Facebook group
•       100% discount to all Ars Amorata events (space permitting)
•       Open invitation to all Amorati Ambassador Retreats
•       An active role in the discussion of the future of the Amorati network
Amorati Elite:
The Elite are the exemplars, the heroes, the role models of the entire Amorati alliance. Their
commitment goes even further than words and actions. Their commitment is to a life of beauty, and
their dedication to and embodiment of the Ars Amorata philosophy is manifest for all to see.
These men are hand-picked – mostly from the ranks of the Amorati but sometimes from outside of
the alliance. They come from all walks of life. Some are itinerant adventurers and travelers. Some
are at home raising a family. But every one of these men exemplify what it means to live and
breathe the principles of the Ars Amorata philosophy. These men have women of beauty in their
life. They are always looking at the larger vision, always looking to the distant horizon of
possibilities. They are teachers and leaders in their own right. And they are, by their very nature,
actively pushing the conceptual and philosophical boundaries of the Ars Amorata message itself…
the art of love.
Benefits of the Amorati Elite:
•       Everything already offered to the Amorati and the Amorati Ambassadors, plus:
•       Being a member of the Amorati Elite!
Amorati Executive:
The Amorati Executive serve as our direct advisers, working closely with us in shaping the future of
the Amorati alliance around the world. Who are the members? You will know when you are in it!
*** A note about our “Invitations Only” door policy:
It is not easy to advance up the the levels of the Amorati. We will maintain a strict door policy, even
reserving the right to demote a member under certain circumstances. What are those circumstances?
A violation of the Four Agreements, which are:
1.    Ease and Delight
2.    Beauty and Order
3.    Curiosity and Empathy
4.    Invitations Only
I will also say this: The more questions you ask us about how to advance to the next level, the less
we are inclined to feel you are ready to advance!
Steps to Becoming an Amotati
This is the process you will need to go through in order to be considered for inclusion in the
Amorati…
Step 1) Commit to the following:
1.    I commit to fully embrace my masculine edge and proclaim my love for women
2.    I commit to being a leader on this earth from this day forward
3.    I commit to living in accordance with the principles of the Ars Amorata philosophy, however I
choose to manifest it
Step 2) Apply for Amorati membership by going to the Amorati facebook page:
Upon reviewing your application, we may accept your application for membership in the Amorati.
You will receive a link to the comprehensive Amorati Welcome Package, which will give you much
more information about the benefits of membership.
Step 3) Stay connected!
Stay active in the great Amorati discussion on Facebook. Come to future Amorati General
Conferences and Retreats around the world. Connect with fellow Amorati in your area or as you
travel. Again, we are excited to offer you these things and we look forward to welcoming you into
the ranks of the Amorati – the network of men who “get it”.
Day 44 Debrief From Hans
We started this journey with the most important mission: The Amorati Ritual … YOUR List.
We started this journey by urging you to start a list of what you want your life to look like, because
knowing what you want and connecting to the feeling of having what you want is the most
important issue in becoming a more charming man and a more magnetic man.
If you know what you want, and you make no excuses for it, communicating that to the world
around you is secondary and almost automatic. If you know what you want, you’ll give yourself the
freedom to be yourself. If you know what you want, you’ll give the others the freedom to be
themselves and express themselves. If you know what you want, you’ll stop worrying about what
others think of you.
How do you manifest your passion? Move towards it by eliminating what you don’t want in your
life. Don’t do what you wouldn’t do and if choices come up, choose in line with what you’re sure
off and towards where you want to go (higher self) – choose away from your doubts and towards
what you want your life to look like.
Since you made it to the end of this course, and from this day forward for as long as you keep
aspiring to more excellence in your life and in your relationships with women, you belong to a
network of men. As long as you are committed, you have the world wide network of Amorati at
your disposal.
It’s your choice where you want to go next and what you want to use to take the next step. It is your
choice which tools you want to use to project yourself more authentically into this world. You have
to develop your authentic approach to approaching, dating, relating, to love, to romance, to
seduction.
The important thing we want you to capture is that you have taken your life (and your love-life)
back into your hands.
You have taken the red pill and there’s no way back. You have started a process of awareness and
change that will get you always closer to what you want. This journey has now become a deliberate,
conscious process in which you take joy and pride.
What is NEXT for you?
1. Contribute to our Amorati facebook group. Since you made it to the end of this program, you are
eligible to become one of the Amorati. Request membership to the group on facebook, and we will
add you to the group. Make sure you read and understand the AMORATI PACKAGE before you
start asking a bunch of questions.
2. If you have not done so, befriend me on facebook. Send me a request and a message. In the
message, say “I finished the Way of the Amorati – Fundamentals”.
3. If you think you are ready to take it to the next level, then enroll in the Way of the Amorati –
Advanced.
So this is not the end; it is the beginning … the beginning of something big … if you are willing to
take that responsibility and contribute.
Onwards gentlemen!
Hans Comyn
Day 45 - Debrief From Zan
The circle is round … the aspects of charm and magnetism are laid on the table like an open
toolbox. They are available to you in your journey towards your authenticity. This is what the Way
of the Amorati – Fundamentals has been about since the very first day. Above all, this is a leadership
program. Above all, this has been a journey toward your authentic desire.
Ask yourself this question every day: “What do I really want?”
The ultimate motivator in life is our authentic desire. It is the grand unifier, the author and finisher
of our faith.
You may be thinking, “I don’t know my authentic desire in life.” Well, you do now. Follow your
bliss!
Listen carefully, for this will clear everything for you about your future. Your authentic desire in life
is to live the life of an Amorati. All the principles we have discussed here are your authentic desire
in life. How you manifest these principles is up to you.
You might want a family. You might want to be great in business. You might want to have a certain
career. You might even want to slip the surly bonds of earth as I have, and become a nomad, a
Johnny Appleseed.
It doesn’t matter how you choose to manifest your authentic desire. Your authentic desire is to
imbue everything you say and do in this life with the belief that you have what it takes. Teach
others. Go and do thou likewise.
Zan Perrion




Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
Tags: Masculine edge Pausing Rite of passage Mindfulness
Zan Perrion Lesson
Rite of Passage
Once upon a time, we believed in ceremony. We used to take time to pause.
To pause our lives and consider. And wonder. Everything we did had
meaning. Everything we did was imbued with ceremony. We used to stop
and give thanks for our meals. We used to spend our evenings gathered
around a fire, telling stories. We used to be curious about others and listen.
We used to listen and talk, being mindful of the day.
We paused. We believed. We believed in ceremony. And we have lost this
from the earth. We no longer have ceremony in our lives, we no longer have
mindfulness, we no longer have quiet contemplation. We no longer gather
together to tell the stories of our day. We no longer take time to pause and
wonder. To wonder about our lives, to wonder about our future.
We used to have ceremonies to mark the occasions of our lives, to celebrate,
for instance, the transition from boys to men.
We never had a rite of passage from boys to men. There is no real delineation
between the time when we were boys and the time when we are men. All
societies used to have some kind of rite of passage for their boys. The Lakota
Sioux, for example, had a Vision Quest, where a boy would go on a personal,
spiritual journey alone in the wilderness for days. He was told, “Go, stand in
the wind, and learn to speak your name.” He would go out alone for a
number of days, scared, hungry, excited... and when he returned, they would
say to him "Now... you can come stand with the men."
Girls automatically have a rite of passage because they get their menstrual
cycle. When they notice that first hint of blood, they are scared, worried,
excited, and exhilarated all at once, because now they are women, and now
they are shy and now they are proud.
But us? Where is our Vision Quest? When did we ever take time to go off
alone into a wilderness and consider who we are and what we want in this
life? We played computer games in our room when we were boys and we
never quit. We were little boys playing with toys, and now we are simply boys
pretending to be men. And what's more, we are playing but not having fun
anymore!
If you resonate with this at all, then consider this 90 Day Transformation
program your ceremony, your rite of passage to the land of men.
~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
Question :
What does YOUR Vision Quest look like? How does becoming
more of man look to YOU?
Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
Tags: Rite of passage
Hans Comyn
Let this be your Vision Quest. Let these 90 days be your rite of passage.



Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
Tags: Pausing Mindfulness Designing
Zan Perrion Assignment
The Amorati Ritual
Your first mission is the most important one of the entire program, and it is
something that you must take care to do every single day throughout the 90
days.
It is called the Amorati Ritual.
This ritual is critically important to your success. It is what all Amorati do,
and it is what keeps us moving toward lives of excellence. As such, it is
imperative that your commitment is to make it the highest priority of every
single day. It is not hard to do, and it doesn't take much time.
Here is the Amorati Ritual:
A) Find a moment where you can sit down in a quiet with a piece of paper
and write out the things you want for your life. This can be anything that has
real meaning to you. In other words, pause and consider how you want your
life to look, and write down the essence of that vision.
B) Every morning when you awake, take time to be still. Even five minutes is
better than nothing. No matter how busy your day might be, sit quietly and
consider your life. Ask "Who am I today?" Ask "What do I want my life to
look like?" Sit quietly with your list. If anything needs to change or adjust on
your list from day to day, then feel free to change it. After all it is your list,
and so it needs to be relevant for you.
C) Sit and quietly consider the things on your list. Repeat this quiet time
every day as the last thing you do for the day.
D) And now this is the most important part. Visualize it as if it was true
today! As you read each item on your list, close your eyes and try to imagine
how you would feel if the thing on your list was already true today. How
would you feel? Try to actually inhabit that emotion, like it was true today,
and you knew it. As you sit with your eyes closed, try to experience the same
sense of euphoria or peace that you would have if you knew it was already
true.
It is important to envision it with as much intensity and as vividly as you
can. In other words, imagine all the little details. Smell the smells, feel it in
your hands, etc.
For instance, if one of the items on your list is to write a book, imagine how
you would feel if you saw the book on the shelf of a book store today.
Imagine how it would feel picking it up, opening it up, smelling the pages,
everything. Imagine watching the people walk by and looking at your book.
Imagine your secret joy of standing and watching and "willing" those people
to stop and pick up your book. Imagine everything in as much detail as you
possibly can. And really feel those emotions.
This step of imagining each thing on your list as if it was real today might
seem time consuming, but it can be as short as a minute or two for each
item. As long as you get the sense of emotions that you would have if you
knew it was already absolutely true today.
E) Then all day long, think about your list as often as you can. If something
bad happens, simply "recover" to the knowledge that, no matter what, you
have your list.
F) Never think about how the things on your list will become true for your
life. In other words, do not ever consider "how". "How" does not matter at
all, because "how" will take care of itself.
G) This process is yours and yours alone. So never tell anyone, no matter
how close to you, what you are doing. This is really important. Never tell
anyone that you have a list, or the things that are on your list. This is yours
alone! The only people that will know that you even are doing this daily
practice are your brothers here. And even then, keep the details of your list
for only yourself.
H) Say this phrase to yourself all day long: "Everything and everyone
prospers me now". Repeat it as often as you can throughout the day and
throughout the 90 days. And consider how important this phrase truly is. It
means that no matter what happens to you today or who you meet or spend
time with, it is going to benefit in you in some way. In other words , that
person or circumstance is part of what is going to make the things on your
list a reality!
That is it. It sounds way more complicated the way I wrote it than it actually
is. It could be simply summarized as: write down what you want, imagine the
things you wrote as if they were absolutely true today, and how that would
make you feel, do this morning and night, think about it all day long, and
don't tell anyone what you are doing. Simple, really.
Remember, this is not a to-do list. It is not a list of items that you expect or
need to check off during the 90 days. It is simply a list of the essence of the
the things you want for your life. And also remember, you can't do this
wrong. If there is something you desire for your life, write it down. Your list
will always be changing.
The Amorati Ritual is a daily ritual. It is a tool to make you pause... and a
tool to put your mind into a receptive state for all the opportunities that
come your way.
And another thing, don't think it is enough to just do a list in your head. And
do not do it on a computer. The act of physically writing it down and keeping
that paper close to you is very important. There is something very mindful
and visceral in the act of creating the words with your hands.
The Amorati Ritual is your first mission as a practitioner of the arcane art
called The Ars Amorata.
~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
Assignment
Question 1
How does doing the Amorati Ritual affect your day?
Answer required
Upload or Insert:
Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
Tags: Grace Mindfulness
Hans Comyn
Be mindful today, of your day, of the food you eat, your surroundings, the people
you meet, the time you have.
Grace
Wake up and pause. Consider who you are today and what you want your life to look like. Set
intention for the day. Shower, brush your teeth, be aware of your movements. Get completely dressed. Watch the sun
come up over the hills. Be grateful for this day. Make your bed. Walk down the stairs with deliberate steps. Greet the
people you are living with. Make some coffee. Make breakfast. Invite the others to share it with you. Say grace. Ask
them about their upcoming day. Eat slowly. Clean up the kitchen. Remember your authentic desire, what you truly
love. Remember your purpose, your calling. Pace yourself. Count your blessings. Start working at a set time. Be
completely focused. Be good in what you are doing. Functional beauty. Use your words wisely. Be kind and polite,
elegant and decisive. Make no excuses. Remain purposeful. Enjoy your journey, enjoy every moment. Feel the rhythm.
Embrace the ceremony. Respect the ritual. Close off your day. Leave no trace. Have grace.
~ Hans Comyn



Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
Tags: Pausing Intention Mindfulness Designing
Zan Perrion Discussion
Setting Intention
Your Amorati Ritual and your List will help you set intention for the day.
What a gift it is to be still! Of all the things a man can do to create a life of
purpose, taking time each day to be still is the greatest. The Amorati Ritual is
setting intention for your day. To start each day with intention is the greatest
thing you can do to design the life you desire, the life you deserve. Take time
every day to be still, to pause, and set intention for that day. First thing.
Before you rush out, before you dive into the current of your day, pause.
Start your day with intention.
When you wake up, consider this day. Morning is a promise. Everything you
desire is contained in this day. This day. On this morning, you get to choose.
You get to choose how your day is going to look. You get to choose how your
life is going to go. Take time every morning to ask yourself, “What is it I
really want? Who am I today? What does it mean to be me today?”
Imagine this future you vividly, in color, smell the smells around you, hear
the sounds. Picture this future you, and then today, on this day, start heading
toward that vision. No matter what the cost. No matter what your family
thinks, no matter what your friends think, no matter what your co-workers
think. Instead ask “What is needed for me?” We spend our lives following the
“proper” path, we make sure every one is happy with our decisions. Stop
making others comfortable.
To pause and write down who you are and what you want your life to look
like, and to visualize that list sets your intention for the day. If you know
what you want your life to look like, that provides the intention you can set
for the day. You do not need to focus on how and you do not need to set up a
plan ... focus on the what and the how will take care of itself. Focusing on
WHAT you want will provide you the intention.
The Amorati Ritual is a daily ritual that helps you start and go through every
day of your life mindfully.
~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
Discussion
Question 1
On your first morning after the Amorati Ritual assignment, how
hard/easy was it for you to take the time to pause and be still?
Answer required
1. Impossible
2. Hard
3. Took some effort
4. Easy
Question 2
How did that affect your day?
Answer required
Upload or Insert:
Question 3
What would you advise your brothers to make it easier to do the
Amorati Ritual on a daily basis?
Answer required
Upload or Insert:

Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
Tags: Apply Intention
Hans Comyn
Use your list and each day's lesson as a tool to help you set intention for the day.
Apply the day's lesson in your daily activities.


Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
Tags: Grace
Zan Perrion
Morning is a promise. Everything you desire is contained in this day.
Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
Tags: Visualizing Seizing opportunities Designing
Hans Comyn Lesson
Visualizing Makes You Seize the Opportunities
We make lists of goals or resolutions, writing down all kinds of promises to
ourselves - to get in shape, to get a girlfriend, to make more money, to get a
better career, etc.
The problem with these types of goals is that as soon as we write them down,
we then try to figure out HOW we are going to make everything on the list
happen. We make a plan. We make a step-by-step plan to get to our goal.
This is how we set ourselves up for failure. We focus on the how, instead of
focusing all our attention on the what. And with every step we add, we add
another opportunity to fail. We are so attached to a certain way, to our goals
and to every step of our plan, that we miss the subtle shifts and changes that
are required from us to explore new possibilities. We miss the opportunities.
Thus we feel we have failed in our goals and, ultimately, once again failed
ourselves.
So let's forget the way we have done things before, and approach this
learning process with a beginner's mind. Instead of trying so hard to live a
life of meaning, we are simply going to pause every morning to consider what
we want our life to look like - throughout this 90 day program. We are going
to pause, be still and visualize what we want our life to look like.
Focus on the what by visualizing what you want your life to look like.
As you read each item on your list, close your eyes and try to imagine how
you would feel if the thing on your list was already true today. To envision it
with as much intensity and as vividly as you can.
To visualize the items on your list prepares your mind. It prepares your mind
to be ready whenever opportunities come along. To visualize makes our mind
ready to see the subtle shifts and changes that are required from us to
explore new possibilities. To visualize makes us seize the opportunities that
come along our path of what we want our life to look like. You will start
noticing that opportunities are everywhere!
If you visualize what you want your life to look like, the how will take care of
itself. Focus on the what and the how will take care of itself.
~ Zan Perrion and Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
Question:
What opportunities did you see today? Did you seize them?


Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
Tags: Intention Designing Choice
Hans Comyn Lesson
Choice
The German philosopher Max Sheler saw in CHOICE the main characteristic
of being HUMAN.
Animals react to their environment. They are dependent on it and see the
whole world as a set of stimuli coming their way, and to which they have to
react, ...
Humans have a "world-openness"; they are much less dependent on their
surroundings and they have the power to say "NO". If nothing else, humans
have the choice between "yes" and "no". You can accept an invitation or
decline it, you can accept something as true or false, you can choose to act
upon a certain thought or not ...
You have the choice. You have the freedom of choice and the responsibility to
choose.
When you choose, when you do this simple step, you will stop reacting and
start acting. When you realize you have the choice of what you want your life
to look like, and you embrace that choice, you will start living a deliberate,
mindful life. The choice of what you want your life to look like will give you
the intention for today. You will stop hoping that your past will change or
merely wishing the future will be better; instead, you will be responsible for
your life right now - in this moment – and start to design your life from that
moment forward. You will start setting intention today. The rest of your life
starts NOW.
As soon as you realize and embrace the choice you have of what you want
your life to look like, you are setting intention - you are creating instead of
reacting.
Choose choice now.
~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
Question:
Are you ready to embrace the choice you have every step of the
way? Are you ready to accept that freedom and take that
responsibility? How do you choose to move forward in this life
from this day forward?
Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
Tags: Designing Choice
Hans Comyn
Each moment you have the power to say NO. You have the choice between YES
and NO. You have the freedom and responsibility to choose.


Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
Tags: Masculine edge Renounce Act Anyway Designing
Zan Perrion Lesson
Stop Hoping Your Past Will Change
Stop hoping your past will change. It never will.
Instead, learn to make friends with it. Realize that this is your old story. For
too long we have been making excuses for our life in the context of our past.
Stop telling your old story. Stop asking and finding answers to why the past
has shaped you into the person you are today.
The past is always created in the present.
Remember always that everything that has happened to you in your past has
created the person you are today. All the good things and all the bad things
in your life have created you, the way you are now, your ideas, your dreams,
your personality. All of it. Obviously there must me something in that past
that brought you here today ... amidst this league of gentlemen.
So stop hoping your past will change. Your past has brought you here today,
so allow yourself to make peace with it.
Your Old Story does not have to have any bearing on how you want your life
to look. Your Old Story does not have to have any bearing on you NOW if
you choose to.
~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
Question:
Now that you had a couple of more days to think about who you
are and what you want your life to look like: What is your Old
Story? What is it you want to RENOUNCE during this 90 Day
Transformation?
By describing here what you want to renounce you are committing to us and
your brothers to do so. We will hold you accountable for the commitment
you are making here.
Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
Tags: Designing
Hans Comyn
You are already whole and complete. You do not have a problem that needs
solving. You need to maximize YOU and your attractive traits.


Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
Tags: Grace
Hans Comyn
If you are already trying to seek more excellence in this life, you can forgive yourself
every 'mistake' you think you make. Can you forgive yourself?
Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
Tags: Grace Mindfulness
Hans Comyn Lesson
Everything and Everyone Prospers Me Now
The affirmation we have used for years is "Everything and everyone prospers
me now".
Say this to yourself everyday, all day long. What it means is that every thing
that happens in your life and every person you meet will add to your life -
will increase you in some way.
It does not mean to see the positive in everything. It means more. It means
that everything happens exactly the way it needs to happen, otherwise it
would happen differently.
We choose that thought, that perspective, that affirmation because it helps us
into getting what we want. And you can choose it too.
You are exactly where you need to be. Not only are you already whole and
complete, but you are exactly on the part of the path where you need to be.
Otherwise you would be some place else. There is no right or wrong way to
do this program. You may feel you are not ready, you may feel you are falling
behind ... and all of this is good. We are providing the tools, you make the
choice of what you want. You will get out of this program what you put into
it and what you want to get out of it.
Everything and everyone prospers me now.
If we miss a plane, than we do something else. If our newsletter does not go
out on time, than it was not meant to be.
Yes there is an urgency, and at the same time you have all the time in the
world. The only thing really urgent is the exploration and the conversation.
There is no goal you need to rush at. You have already arrived. The only
sense of arrival you will get in life is to know that you are on the right
path. If you are seeking more excellence in this path, than you are already on
the right path. Than you have arrived.
This is not a licence to just sit back and relax - you will have to act to get
what you want. You have to take the next step now. However, it is a licence
to get completely detached from the outcome.
~ Zan Perrion and Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
Question:
How different does your day look after you choose the perspective
"Everything and everyone prospers me now"?


Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
Tags: Masculine edge Act Anyway Seizing opportunities
Zan Perrion Lesson
Making Memories
We have a simple philosophy that we live by every day.
When faced with two courses of action - two different paths - and we have to
make a decision, the only criterion we use to make that decision is this:
Which path will give us the best memories?
That's it. What are the best memories we can make TODAY? We don't ask
which path is more secure, or which path will be a better financial decision,
or which path our family and friends think is best. We simply base all our
decisions on creating the best memories we possibly can. That is the guiding
principle of our lives.
So we accept all invitations. If we are invited, for instance, to a party down
the street or to go to Amsterdam, we look at the calendar. If it is open, we are
going. How? We have no idea. But that doesn't matter.
Instead, most of us, when faced with a new opportunity, will tend to second
guess our intuition. We get an invitation and we reason it out, try to make
sense of it, look at the pros and cons, etc. We think we are being prudent by
soberly considering all the angles, but in reality, we are killing the essence of
creation. This is where we fail. Your gut instinct is always correct and is your
very best guide.
~ Zan Perrion and Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
Question:
What opportunities did you seize today to make excellent
memories?
What is the craziest thing you have ever done, that turned out to
be an excellent memory?


Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
Tags: Seizing opportunities Rite of passage Mindfulness Renounce Act
Anyway Pausing Intention Designing Masculine
edge Apply Choice Grace Visualizing
Hans Comyn Lesson
Designing Your Life Debrief
To PAUSE and to BE STILL is about the most powerful thing you can do
to bring about the change you desire.
Let this 90 days be a a meaningful pause in your life. A ceremonial pause ...
your vision quest, your rite of passage from boy to man, from being driven
down the road to being drawn by a vision ... a pause during which you
become mindful again. Mindful of your food, your time, the people around
you ... your choices. Let is raise mindfulness, awareness so you can design
your life (with women) by making moredeliberate choices.
The Amorati Ritual is your most powerful tool to pause, to be still, and to
set intention for the day ... and bring about the change you desire. Morning
is a promise. Everything you desire is contained in this day, and the first
minutes of the day are indeed the 'golden minutes' as one of you said. They
are the best time to influence how the rest of your day will go. So make the
Amorati Ritual your first priority of the day. Write down what you want your
life (with women) to look like, visualize the items, i.e. imagine the things you
wrote as if they were absolutely true today, and how that would make you
feel. Focus on the what, and the how will take care of itself. To visualize
makes our mind ready to see the subtle shifts and changes that are required
from us to explore new possibilities.
The ritual is a great tool for you to fully embrace choice. Make a
decision today that everything you did, everything you do and will
do is the consequence of your choice. Do not let there be any
discrepancy between what you want to do and what you think you ought to
do. Make peace with your old story, say thank you, than choose what you
want.
Than choose to take action! Everything you desire is outside your comfort
zone, otherwise you would already have it. The most important thing is to
TAKE ACTION. We believe we give you the best toolbox to seek more
excellence in your life and in your relationships with women AND the a great
network of men to rely on along this journey. However, the most important
thing is for you to take action. To act. To show up. To do. How? By DOING
your missions and base everything you write on your experience of doing
those missions. Also, by applying the lessons you see here in your daily life. If
we write about pausing ... it is great to see that some people INSTANTLY try
it out and pause, than come back the next day and write about their
experience of pausing, of how they applied it and what the difference was.
Your actions will show if you really want change, or if you just say you do.
As long as you act, you cannot fail. Everything and everyone prospers you
now, and you are making excellent memories. As long as you aspire to more
excellence and you act, we will be here for you.
We can see a very motivated group, but Kevin from the May course said:
"Willpower doesn't work. It's about creating new habits. If you simply try
to will your way to a better life it will be easy to slip back to old patterns.
Think about creating new disciplines in your life. You are already
disciplined to do many things, they just might not be the ones that are
serving you will. Use that discipline to create new habits that will enrich
your life. This is what I have started doing, and even after just a few days I
have a more positive feeling, and feel like more things are possible in my
life."
So make the Amorati Ritual into a new habit. Also, create a structure, reserve
time, ... for you to be able to act. This will be even more important as the
assignments will start including talking to women.
We are not here to babysit you. We give you the tools and a network to make
you change you desire. But it will depend on you to make it. You are
accountable. You will get out of this what you put in. This is a test of your
commitment (not your willpower) to more excellence in your life and your
relationships with women.
Also, there is no wrong way to do this. You are not behind ... you are exactly
where you need to be. The rest of your life starts now.
This week, you got a lot of blogs. It may seem intensive, but you needed to
be drowned in a different way of thinking. Do not try to make sense of
everything, your body has wisdom! In the coming weeks it will be easier to
keep up - just come on the platform every morning and let us help you set
intention for your day.
~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
ASSIGNMENT:
Go back to the assigment on day 2, the Amorati Ritual, and
comment on it again, starting this time with: "After one week of
doing the Amorati Ritual, I learned that ... "



Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
Tags: Pausing Awareness is curative Saboteur
Zan Perrion Lesson
Awareness is curative
Awareness is curative.
Become aware of Your Saboteur. Becoming aware is all that is needed from
you. Awareness is the answer. Awareness is curative. Becoming aware is all
you can do - becoming aware is all you have to do.
Most of the time, Your Saboteur operates quietly in the background,
influencing choices and suggesting its preferred course of action or inaction.
We want to become aware of that voice, bring it to the forefront so we start
seeing how he operates.
To become aware and mindful is what shifts you from living a life of reaction
to a life of action and designing your life.
It is very powerful to become aware of the way you are experiencing the
world, to be able to calmly step outside of yourself, without judgment, and
simply try to notice the things you are feeling and experiencing in the
moment.
Try to be curious about what Your Saboteur is saying and about the changes
in your emotions and in your body when you step out of your comfort zone
or think about doing that. For instance, you might notice a tightening in
your stomach if you see a woman who you find attractive. Or find your
hands getting sweaty or your mouth getting dry or your face getting red - just
from the thought of approaching her.
Do not fight any of this, or try to solve any of this. Do not try to hide it,
ignore it or overcome it. This is simply the way you are experiencing the
world. And this is when your Saboteur is really working hard to keep you
safe.
If you can make the choice throughout your day to simply check in with your
body every time you hear this voice, and notice everything you are
experiencing in the moment, you will learn to become aware of exactly how
you are physically and mentally experiencing the world. If you check in with
yourself every day at various times, you will start to gain an understanding
and a peace of mind about the things that happen around you. This is
learning to become mindful. And learning to become aware.
Again... awareness is curative. Becoming aware is all you can do, and
becoming aware is all you have to do.
~ Zan Perrion and Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
Assignment:
For the next 24 hours, try to check in a couple of times with
yourself and listen to what the voice is saying. Then, come back,
and tell us how many times you were able to actively check in and
listen to the voice of Your Saboteur. See if you are able to
remember this question, to check with yourself, and then check in
on the platform and answer this thread by this time tomorrow. To
anser the assignment here will show you if you are able to become
aware of a voice that usually operates silently in the background.



Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
Tags: Comfort zone Honour the artist Saboteur
Hans Comyn Lesson
Hesitation and Doubt
Watch this video, and answer this question:
Can you remember the artist in you? What did that artist do? Can
you commit to honouring him again? What are you going to do
differently from this day forward to do that? What would you
advise your brothers here to help them honour the artist in them?
Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
Tags: Honour the artist
Zan Perrion
"We are all artists... the secret is to remember it when we are older." Picasso



Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
Tags: Comfort zone Honour the artist Saboteur
Hans Comyn Lesson
Hesitation and Doubt
Watch this video, and answer this question:
Can you remember the artist in you? What did that artist do? Can
you commit to honouring him again? What are you going to do
differently from this day forward to do that? What would you
advise your brothers here to help them honour the artist in them?
Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
Tags: Honour the artist
Zan Perrion
"We are all artists... the secret is to remember it when we are older." Picasso







Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
Tags: Comfort zone Honour the artist Saboteur
Hans Comyn Lesson
Hesitation and Doubt
Watch this video, and answer this question:
Can you remember the artist in you? What did that artist do? Can
you commit to honouring him again? What are you going to do
differently from this day forward to do that? What would you
advise your brothers here to help them honour the artist in them?
Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
Tags: Honour the artist
Zan Perrion
"We are all artists... the secret is to remember it when we are older." Picasso



Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
Tags: Comfort zone Awareness is curative Saboteur
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Hans Comyn Assignment
Give Your Saboteur a Name
It is useful to think of your Saboteur as a very real, distinct, and separate
entity.
If you see your Saboteur as a distinct entity, it will be easier to recognize
when he is talking to you and what he is saying. If you see him as a separate
entity, it will be easier to hear his voice amidst everything else you tell
yourself inside your head. It will be easier to become aware of the voice of
your Saboteur.
Here are some simple, practical questions that can help you becoming more
aware of your Saboteur and what he is saying to you.
What is the name of your Saboteur? What does he look like?
It is helpful to always have little talks with your Saboteur:
"Thank you, , I know what you are trying to do, I know you are trying to
keep me safe, and let me tell you this... pointing out the past and projecting
fear for the future does not serve me in any way - in the present... look at
those women over there ... I know you want me to stay here with you in my
comfort zone ... and I am going to approach them anyway... let me show
you that no disaster will come from that..."
~ Zan Perrion and Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
Assignment
Question 1
Are you becoming more aware of the voice of your saboteur?
Answer required
1. Not aware. I do not know what he is saying to hold me back.
2. More aware. I start becoming aware faster and more often when
the voice of the saboteur is talking to me and what that voice is
saying.
3. Great awareness. Almost immediately I recognize now when my
saboteur is talking to me and what he is saying to keep me in my
comfort zone.
Question 2
What is the name of your Saboteur?
Answer required
Question 3
How does your Saboteur look?
Answer required
Upload or Insert:
Question 4
What are his antics? When does he talk to you? What is he saying?
Answer required
Upload or Insert:

Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
Tags: Act Anyway Saboteur
Hans Comyn
The voice of Your Saboteur will never go away. To act anyway is what takes you
from a mediocre life to a life of excellence.


Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
Tags: Comfort zone Awareness is curative Saboteur
View Comments (0) Comment
Hans Comyn Assignment
Give Your Saboteur a Name
It is useful to think of your Saboteur as a very real, distinct, and separate
entity.
If you see your Saboteur as a distinct entity, it will be easier to recognize
when he is talking to you and what he is saying. If you see him as a separate
entity, it will be easier to hear his voice amidst everything else you tell
yourself inside your head. It will be easier to become aware of the voice of
your Saboteur.
Here are some simple, practical questions that can help you becoming more
aware of your Saboteur and what he is saying to you.
What is the name of your Saboteur? What does he look like?
It is helpful to always have little talks with your Saboteur:
"Thank you, , I know what you are trying to do, I know you are trying to
keep me safe, and let me tell you this... pointing out the past and projecting
fear for the future does not serve me in any way - in the present... look at
those women over there ... I know you want me to stay here with you in my
comfort zone ... and I am going to approach them anyway... let me show
you that no disaster will come from that..."
~ Zan Perrion and Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
Assignment
Question 1
Are you becoming more aware of the voice of your saboteur?
Answer required
1. Not aware. I do not know what he is saying to hold me back.
2. More aware. I start becoming aware faster and more often when
the voice of the saboteur is talking to me and what that voice is
saying.
3. Great awareness. Almost immediately I recognize now when my
saboteur is talking to me and what he is saying to keep me in my
comfort zone.
Question 2
What is the name of your Saboteur?
Answer required
Question 3
How does your Saboteur look?
Answer required
Upload or Insert:
Question 4
What are his antics? When does he talk to you? What is he saying?
Answer required
Upload or Insert:

Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
Tags: Act Anyway Saboteur
Hans Comyn
The voice of Your Saboteur will never go away. To act anyway is what takes you
from a mediocre life to a life of excellence.


Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
Tags: Staying present Awareness is curative Saboteur
Hans Comyn Lesson
Living in The Present
Always remember that the Saboteur cannot live in the present.
It can only remind you of all the terrible things that happened to you in the
past, or suggest the disasters that will happen in the future.
It has absolutely nothing that it can say about now - the present.
How do you stay present? By becoming aware of Your Saboteur. As simple as
that. The decision to become aware of Your Saboteur keeps you in the
present. Awareness is curative because it keeps you present, and Your
Saboteur has nothing to say about the now, about the present.
So choose to become aware of Your Saboteur and always recover to that
decision and awareness. It will become second nature.
~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
Question:
Do you have a problem RIGHT NOW?
Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
Tags: Staying present Awareness is curative Saboteur
Hans Comyn
Your Saboteur has nothing to say about the now, about the present. Awareness
gets you and keeps you in the present.


Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
Tags: Staying present Awareness is curative Saboteur
Hans Comyn Lesson
Living in The Present
Always remember that the Saboteur cannot live in the present.
It can only remind you of all the terrible things that happened to you in the
past, or suggest the disasters that will happen in the future.
It has absolutely nothing that it can say about now - the present.
How do you stay present? By becoming aware of Your Saboteur. As simple as
that. The decision to become aware of Your Saboteur keeps you in the
present. Awareness is curative because it keeps you present, and Your
Saboteur has nothing to say about the now, about the present.
So choose to become aware of Your Saboteur and always recover to that
decision and awareness. It will become second nature.
~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
Question:
Do you have a problem RIGHT NOW?
Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
Tags: Staying present Awareness is curative Saboteur
Hans Comyn
Your Saboteur has nothing to say about the now, about the present. Awareness
gets you and keeps you in the present.



Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
Tags: Honour the artist Staying present Mindfulness Higher self Choice Comfort
zone Awareness is curative Saboteur Apply Act Anyway
Hans Comyn Lesson
Debrief Your Saboteur
This week has been all about becoming aware of the voice of Your
Saboteur. Awareness of WHEN he is talking to you and WHAT he is telling
you to keep you (too) safe, to keep you inside your comfort zone. Awareness
also of HOW your body is reacting emotionally to his voice.
To become aware of Your Saboteur is all you can do - to become aware of
Your Saboteur is all you have to do. Do not try to ignore Your Saboteur, do
judge him, do not fight him, do not try to overcome him. Just become aware.
Decide to check in with your body throughout the day and become aware of
what you are feeling, experiencing, and who is talking to you: Your Saboteur
or Your Higher Self. A good tool to help you become aware of Your Saboteur
is see him as a separate entity: give him a name, describe how he looks, have
conversations with him, be compassionate with him ...
Remember that AWARENESS IS CURATIVE. Firstly, awareness is
curative because it keeps you in the present, and Your Saboteur cannot live
in the present. He can only remind you of all the terrible things that
happened to you in the past, or suggest the disasters that will happen in the
future. Your Saboteur has nothing to say about the present. Secondly,
awareness is curative because as soon as you know what you want your life
to look like (do your Amorati Ritual!), than awareness will ensure you know
what to do next.
Last week we learned that knowing what you want will prepare your mind so
you will seize the opportunities once they arise. Awareness is curative because
it helps you see those opportunities. If you know what you want your life to
look like, then you have made a decision to act anyway according to your
vision BEFORE Your Saboteur starts talking to you.
Knowing what you want your life to look like and awareness do not make the
voice of Your Saboteur go away; they ensure that you act anyway, DESPITE
Your Saboteur. The voice of Your Saboteur will grow silent because of your
acting anyway.
Hence: Become aware and ACT ANYWAY, despite Your Saboteur.The
difference between failure and success is not the absence of fear, of a
saboteur, or confidence ... but the willpower and discipline to act anyway. If
you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've
always got. Everything you desire is outside of your comfort zone - otherwise
you would already have it. So remember and honour the artist in you, Your
Higher Self ... and act anyway.
From now throughout the program to act anyway will be key. All the learning
will come from experience. Everything you say must be based on experience,
and the words we all use are mere articulations of our experiences. They will
only make sense if we act anyway. If we show up. We learn by doing. Love
and learn.
And as soon as you have the willpower and discipline to act anyway, to show
up, to aspire to more excellence in this life and in your relationships with
women, you can forgive yourself all of your mistakes. You can forgive
yourself all your mistakes, because you are already trying.
~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
Question:
How is it going for you so far, two weeks into the program? Have
you done your missions (Amorati Ritual and Saboteur
mission),and if YES, What is your number one question you have
after two weeks?


Our Beliefs Perspectives
Tags: Assumptions Perspectives
Hans Comyn Lesson
Assumptions
Have you participated in yesterday's discussion?
If not, read yesterday's post first.
If you did, then watch the second part of the Living Picture video here and
answer the question afterwards.
Question:
Are you becoming more aware of the assumptions you are making
in these kind of situations?
What can you do to become aware of your assumptions?
What would you recommend your brothers to gain awareness of
our assumptions?


Our Beliefs Perspectives
Tags: Perspectives
Hans Comyn Lesson
Living Picture - The Statue
Watch this video and ask yourself:
What are some of the ways that YOU can gain perspective?
What habits in your daily life help you gain perspective?
What changes in your habits can you make right now to gain
perspective?
Our Beliefs Perspectives
Tags: Perspectives
Hans Comyn
Each new perspective opens up a new world. With each new perspective you
inhabit, you gain perspective.



Our Beliefs Perspectives
Tags: Assumptions Designing Perspectives Choice
Zan Perrion Lesson
Our Perspective of Her
Our description of the existence of different perspectives of an object like a
statue might seem really simple and obvious, but there is a subtle lesson to
be learned.
An awareness of your assumptions and your perspectives, and how they
affect everything in your life, will have a profound effect on the way you view
the world.
For instance, let's consider again the girl over there in the coffee shop.
You have a certain perspective on that girl, and on the situation at hand. Just
like the statue, you are looking at things from a single perspective. Our
assumptions inform our default perspective. And this happens without us
even being aware of it. Our Saboteur is all over this, making sure we assume
a variety of things to be true, and ultimately, choose a certain perspective.
Revisit your answer to the questions about the girl in the coffee shop. To
notice your perspective, complete this sentence: If I go over and start talking
to that girl then...
Your answer is your perspective on that girl and the situation, and on what
will happen if you go over there.
But as we have seen, there exist other perspectives on the situation. In the
coffee shop alone, there are all kinds of perspectives. There is the perspective
of the man at the next table drinking coffee and looking around. There is the
perspective of the workers behind the counter who see you and her, and
make their own set of assumptions about what is going on. There could even
be a perspective of the same dog walking by the window of the coffee shop
and glancing in and seeing you and her.
Each new perspective opens up completely new worlds, and anyone with a
different perspective inhabits a different world.
Consider the perspective of the dog for example, looking in the window and
watching you walk over and talk to the girl. What is his perspective? In all
likelihood, he does not care at all... too busy minding his own business.
Completely different perspective, completely different world.
Each perspective provides a different landscape, a different climate, and
different rules for expected behavior. What might be normal in one
perspective/world is not normal in another.
There will also be a posture in that perspective, sometimes quite literally,
because we tend to embody the perspective we are in and portray it
physically, in our bodies.
So the important thing about perspectives is that there is a multitude of
perspectives and that the perspectives are part and parcel of your world. The
situation you find yourself in is defined by the perspective you have. The
situation itself (talking to a girl) is completely neutral. It is this perspective
that brings emotion or judgment, and that creates the tone of the
conversation and the posture of our bodies.
~ Zan Perrion and Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
Question:
Can you make a choice to ask yourself what perspective will help
you in getting what you want, instead of assuming that a certain
perspective is true?
Our Beliefs Perspectives
Tags: Designing Perspectives Choice
Hans Comyn
Stop asking yourself which perspective is more true. Start asking yourself which
perspective serves you better.




Our Beliefs Perspectives
Tags: Perspectives Choice Higher self Assumptions Saboteur Designing
Zan Perrion Lesson
Our Default Perspective
Let us tie a couple of things together with this insight: Far too often we use
our assumptions to craft our perspective on things and we say things like "it
is just the way it is".
This choice of perspective is an unconscious choice. In fact, it is most likely
the default perspective you have always had. Often the perspective we choose
is the one immediately offered to us by the Saboteur. The Saboteur wants to
keep us safe and he uses assumptions to convince us that is just the way it is.
Your Saboteur uses assumptions to talk to you, and thus makes it hard for us
to become aware of our default perspective.
Our assumptions shape our perspectives on a situation. Our perspective is
part and parcel of the world we live in.
For example, consider the perspective shaped by the thoughts provided by
your Saboteur:
"Walking up and talking to a girl in a coffee shop is extremely awkward. It
is uncomfortable, and the girl usually goes silent, looks away and waits for
the man to leave."
The tone of this perspective is negative, and your body posture changes to
reflect the different inherent beliefs and expectations. You can even imagine
this perspective as having a smell, and it is not very good!
Now see how all of this changes if your Higher Self is providing the
perspective:
"Walking up and talking to a girl in a coffee shop is a great thing to do,
completely natural and fun and delightful."
There is a different tone in the language. You can practically smell her
fragrance and hear her laughter in that perspective. And if you allow your
body to represent that perspective, your posture would incorporate its
inherent attitude and beliefs.
These are two possible perspectives on a very simple everyday situation:
going over to a girl in a coffee shop and talking to her. The first perspective
is provided by your Saboteur and the second one is provided by your Higher
Self.
Neither is right or wrong, because both are largely based on assumptions ...
yet many of us have been very busy collecting evidence over the years to
support our point of view provided by our Saboteur, and we are prepared to
insist very persuasively that the perspective provided by our Saboteur is the
right one, the one that is true.
Consequently, far too often we believe we don't really have the power of
choice. We believe that our perspective is the true one and does not change.
This is our default perspective.
We tend to blame the circumstances of life. It's the job, the limited income,
the lack of education, the lack of free time... the list goes on. It often feels like
we are powerless to change or choose differently. Our vision is narrowed and
narrowed until we are so driven by the circumstances that we no longer see
what is possible.
A variation on this is the consequence of our "big" decisions. In other words,
"I chose this career path, so...", "I chose to live in this town, and so..." It's as
if we gave up the power of any more choice because of these "big choices" we
made in our life. Now we have to stick to them and live up to the
consequences. The truth is, there is no such things as "have to". There is only
choice. We are not bound at all by our cicumstances or our history or our
judgments of ourselves.
We can choose differently.
Consciously choosing seems so obvious, and yet it is so rare. In order to have
the life you want, you must choose and know that you have chosen. It's about
living life consciously. It is designing your life.
As we mentioned earlier, you have the freedom and responsibility to choose
every moment of the day. It is what makes us human.
Choice, like awareness, has action in it. There is movement inside of us when
a choice has been made, just before there is movement in the outer world.
So perspectives are all about choice. About choosing how you want to look at
a particular situation. The difference between success and failure in any part
of our lives is the way we choose to look at it.
If perspectives are about choice, then you can use them as a tool ... so
consider the multitude of perspective and ask yourself what perspective will
serve you better into getting what you want? What perspective will serve you
better in actually going over there and talking to her?
Stop asking yourself which perspective is more true. Start asking yourself
which perspective serves you better.
So, the question we each need to ask is this, "How is my default perspective
serving me? How does the way I choose to view a situation help me in that
situation?" Become aware of your assumptions, become aware of your
default perspective, realise you have a choice, and if your perspective does
not help you into getting what you want, choose a different one!
For example, we can choose the perspective that "They're all my girls" just as
easily as we can choose the perspective that "no girls would ever want me". It
makes no sense to try to ascertain which of these perspectives is true. The
only question is to ask which perspective serves you best. If your desire is to
have more meaningful interactions with women throughout your day, which
of these perspectives will be the best guide?
Ask yourself: What perspective is helping you to go and talk to that girl - the
one provided by your Saboteur, or the one provided by your Higher Self?
Perspectives are tools you can use to help you get what you want and start
designing your life. Your perspectives are all created in your mind, they are
invented... so you might as well select a good one!
~ Zan Perrion and Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
Question:
Choose a new perspective about women that you are going to use
from now on. What is that perspective?
Our Beliefs Perspectives
Tags: Perspectives Choice
Hans Comyn
Your perspective is part and parcel of your world. What world do you choose to live
in?


Our Beliefs Perspectives
Tags: Perspectives Comfort zone Choice Higher self Assumptions Saboteur Act
Anyway Seizing opportunities
View Comments (0) Comment
Hans Comyn Assignment
Exploring Perspectives
Find several different circumstances this week where you find you are
nervous if you were to proceed (put yourself in as many as you can). And of
course, that most likely looks like several different women that you would
normally hesitate to approach! Whatever gets your heart racing. Whatever
gives you that overall sense of unease and nervousness and discomfort.
Then do these three things:
1) Become aware of the perspective you are in. Really examine that
perspective. What is your Saboteur saying to you? What are you experiencing
in your body? What are your assumptions about her? Really spend some
time trying to get the essence of what you believe to be "true" about her,
about you, and about the whole scenario.
2) Then change your body geography. In other words, if you are sitting,
stand up. If you are standing, go to another part of the room. Tell yourself
that your default perspective serves you in no way whatsoever, that your
Saboteur is trying to keep you unnecessarily safe, and that you just left that
perspective behind in the old location. Now run through, in your mind, other
perspectives that are also true. For instance, what is her perspective? What is
your Saboteur's perspective? What would be the perspective of a famous
author you admire? What would be the perspective of a five year old boy?
What would be the perspective of Your Higher Self. Try to really inhabit a
variety of different perspectives.
Some helpful questions that will lead to new perspectives are: "What is
another way of looking at this that will work for me?" "How would a fiveyear-old
see this?" "How would this look to an ancestor warrior from 900
years ago?" "How would be the perspective of my future self 20 years from
now?" The idea is to generate alternative perspectives that are more
resourceful and creative than the one we usually occupy.
3) Change your perspective. Select one of these perspectives (no matter
which one), and occupy it as if it were absolutely true. Get the sense that it is
really true, and let it fill your body.
Then once you are occupying this new and refreshing perspective, feel free to
walk up to her and say whatever comes to mind. Remember to have no plan,
no agenda for her phone number or anything. Just enjoy the interaction and
stay completely focused on your new perspective.
Remember also that changing your body geography is a mere tool to help
you to act anyway. If you are able to act anyway without it, than there is no
need to do it.
Assignment
Question 1
How many situations did you put yourself into where you got
nervous, where Your Saboteur started talking?
Answer required
Question 2
What was the perspective provided by your saboteur what
assumptions did he use?
Answer required
Upload or Insert:
Question 4
How many women did you approach despite being nervous?
Answer required
Question 5
What did you learn from these approaches? What is the number
one question you have after doing these approaches?
Answer required
Upload or Insert:

Our Beliefs Perspectives
Tags: Perspectives Designing
Hans Comyn
Perspectives are tools you can use to help you get what you want and start
designing your life.


Our Beliefs Perspectives
Tags: Assumptions Perspectives Choice Awareness is
curative Saboteur Designing Apply Act Anyway
Hans Comyn Lesson
Perspectives Debrief
Every time we see a beautiful girl, and we consider going over there and talk
to her, we instantly make assumptions about her, about the situation and
about how the interaction is going to be. Our Saboteur uses assumptions to
create our default perspective, and you pull it out of our pocket every time
we are in a similar situation.
What is remarkable about our default perspective is that it is not only based
on very little or no evidence - our default perspective is invented - but also
that we have a lot of trouble shifting to another perspective. But if
assumptions and perspectives are invented, and another perspective could be
equally valid, than why not take a perspective that serves you into getting
what you want?
Perspectives are indeed tools, so stop trying to figure out which perspective is
true; instead, inhabit a perspective that serves you in getting what you want.
How?
Become aware of your default perspective. Become aware also of the
multitude of perspectives. Empathy, meeting people, curiosity, trying new
things, travel, sharing experiences in stead of trying to win other people over,
... they will show you a multitude of perspectives on the same situation, and
every time you see the same situation from a different perspective, you GAIN
perspective.
It is also in this sense that awareness is curative.
Awareness is curative because it gives you back CHOICE. To be aware of
choice is to be aware of the power of choosing. It is crucial to remember that
you are absolutely, unequivocally in charge of your choice. To become more
human means to make more deliberate choices. More awareness makes for
more deliberate, more mindfull choices.
You can choose your perspective. You can choose to ACT ANYWAY ...
Changing you body geography and taking up a different perspective are
TOOLS, tools that can help you to act anyway. They are MERE tools, because
the most important thing remains to act anyway. For example, I do not
change my body geography, nor do I take up a different perspective. For me
being aware of a multitude of perspectives is enough to stop making
assumptions and to act anyway.
To act anyway indeed, to show up, to do. Until the end of the program the
stress will be on acting anyway, on doing your mission and on the
application of the lessons to your daily life. The difference between failure
and success is not the absence of fear, of a saboteur, of a self-defeating
perspective. The difference between failure and success is not confidence ...
but the willpower AND discipline to act anyway.
Remember, as long as you act, you cannot fail. Everything and everyone
prospers you now, and you are making excellent memories.
If you would feel a little overwhelmed by the amount of posts, that is ok. You
are not supposed to figure it all out right now. This is not just the transfer of
information - this is an experience. The content will be forever available to
you and some of it will take months, maybe years to completely make sense.
~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata



Hans Comyn Lesson
Your Legacy
Watch this video, adding perspective to 'approaching that girl' and ask
yourself:
Are you going to honor your legacy? What is the battle you are
going to fight? Which fight are you going to fight and win, no
matter what the cost?
Our Beliefs Living Like Champions
Tags: Comfort zone
Zan Perrion
If you keep doing what you have been doing, you will keep getting the same results.


Our Beliefs Living Like Champions
Tags: Masculine edge Living like a champion Act Anyway
Zan Perrion Lesson
Discharging Your Duty
When we hesitate to approach a woman that we find attractive, we are letting
our fathers down. And what's more, we are letting her down. Finally, we are
letting ourself down.
The world deserves you fully present. The world deserves you showing up in
the world as a champion. You have the right to occupy your space on this
earth. You have the right to go and talk to that girl over there.
In fact, you have the obligation! It is your duty to go and talk to her. Not
hers. Yours.
If there is something interesting about a girl over there that you find
attractive, if your impulse, your desire is to create an experience with her... it
is your DUTY to go over and talk to her. The world deserves your
authenticity. The world deserves you fully present. The world wants more of
you. It is the only thing you can and must give back to the world. You have
the obligation to be yourself and speak your truth.
Every time you see an attractive girl and you walk over to her, you show up
as a man in the world. You are discharging your duty as a man. This is just as
much an act of masculinity as your father from the distant past standing on
the earth on a battlefield... with a sword in his hand.
If you show up in this world with your authenticity, fully present, and you
speak your truth, you have just discharged your duty as a man.
"There is something about you ... I was standing over there, and I saw you,
and I had to come over and say hi."
That is all you can do. That is all you must do.
From this day forward, stop measuring your success by the reaction
you get and start measuring your success by the way you put
yourself forward into this world.
Have you spoken your truth? Have you discharged your duty as a man? Have
you shown up?
~ Zan Perrion and Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
Question:
Describe how discharging your duty looks like to you when you are
moving in the land of women? In your specific case, what are you
going to DO differently from this day forward? What new habit are
you installing right now to ensure you are discharging your duty
as a man for the rest of your life?



Our Beliefs Living Like Champions
Tags: Masculine edge Living like a champion Act Anyway
Zan Perrion Lesson
Discharging Your Duty
When we hesitate to approach a woman that we find attractive, we are letting
our fathers down. And what's more, we are letting her down. Finally, we are
letting ourself down.
The world deserves you fully present. The world deserves you showing up in
the world as a champion. You have the right to occupy your space on this
earth. You have the right to go and talk to that girl over there.
In fact, you have the obligation! It is your duty to go and talk to her. Not
hers. Yours.
If there is something interesting about a girl over there that you find
attractive, if your impulse, your desire is to create an experience with her... it
is your DUTY to go over and talk to her. The world deserves your
authenticity. The world deserves you fully present. The world wants more of
you. It is the only thing you can and must give back to the world. You have
the obligation to be yourself and speak your truth.
Every time you see an attractive girl and you walk over to her, you show up
as a man in the world. You are discharging your duty as a man. This is just as
much an act of masculinity as your father from the distant past standing on
the earth on a battlefield... with a sword in his hand.
If you show up in this world with your authenticity, fully present, and you
speak your truth, you have just discharged your duty as a man.
"There is something about you ... I was standing over there, and I saw you,
and I had to come over and say hi."
That is all you can do. That is all you must do.
From this day forward, stop measuring your success by the reaction
you get and start measuring your success by the way you put
yourself forward into this world.
Have you spoken your truth? Have you discharged your duty as a man? Have
you shown up?
~ Zan Perrion and Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
Question:
Describe how discharging your duty looks like to you when you are
moving in the land of women? In your specific case, what are you
going to DO differently from this day forward? What new habit are
you installing right now to ensure you are discharging your duty
as a man for the rest of your life?


Our Beliefs Living Like Champions
Tags: Living like a champion Choice Show up Higher self Saboteur Masculine
edge Act Anyway
Hans Comyn Lesson
Show Up
The difference between mediocre lives and grand lifes is to act anyway, to
show up.
The voice of your Saboteur will never go away, and the difference between
failure and success is not the absence of that voice, the absence of fear. The
difference is not confidence, it is the willpower and discipline to show up, to
act anyway.
We have this weird idea that we first have to be good with women before we
go and talk to women. How crazy is that? ... we think we have to logic it out,
gather 'all the necessary info' and than move in the land of women with the
right knowledge to get the expected results. We think there is a magic pill ...
we wish we could have this part handled for once and for all ...We are wrong.
You do not have to be good before you go and talk to women. In fact, you
cannot be good with women without showing up in the land of women. The
only thing you can do - the only thing you have to do is to SHOW UP.
Nobody has ever earned a black belt from reading about martial arts.
Anybody who ever became a good soccer player did so because he played on
the soccer field all of the time. Anybody who ever became good with women
did so because he moved about in the land of women all of the time.
In other words, to have experience in the land of women you will
have to create experiences in the land of women.
Only experience and practice will ever make you better with women. To get
experience and practice you need to show up. Showing up is the only thing
you can do. And showing up is the only thing you have to do. Showing up is
the magic pill to becoming good with women.
And here is a great thing: as soon as you start showing up, you will be
more attractive to women, instantly. Women everywhere in the world tell us
they do not mind if you are a little nervous. They find it endearing. Just
show up. When one of the women in our event was asked why women get
together with jerks, her answer was "Because they ask." This is incredible
insight for us. All you have to do is show up in life. Ask for what you want. It
is a simple as that.
Show up in this world and ask for what you want. Show up in your authentic
stumbling self and you set yourself apart from most other men.
So, are you gonna keep standing back, or are you going to show up? Are you
gonna continue wishing or are you gonna show up? Are you gonna continue
listening to your saboteur, or CHOOSE to show up in the land of women? It
is a choice you can and have to make RIGHT NOW. You always can start
walking and start talking. You have the choice.
In fact, we expect each one of you to choose to show up for the remainder of
this program. We do not want to hear anymore how Your Saboteur got the
better of you. You can always choose to start walking and start talking,
and everything you say from this day forward must be about the
experiences you got from showing up.
Deal?
~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
Decide Now to Be More Attractive to Women!
Many successful men come to us to help them handle the love part of their life. Everything in
life is going good for them, but they feel they don't have clarity in their interactions with women. As Zan says, "They want to know they can walk into a room
with women and have what it takes to succeed". In other words, they come to us to "fix that problem" and help them take care of this area of their life once
and for all.
However, while that desire and ambition is very real and noble, there is no such thing as "taking care of it once and for all." We don't believe there are any
problems that need solving, and there is no magic pill that will take care of this issue once and for all. Becoming good with women is not even a skill set you
must acquire...
Let me explain...
To become good with women is part of a much larger journey. It is a journey towards more excellence. A journey towards your authentic self, your attractive
self. And on this journey, all you have to do is seek to maximize the attractive traits you already have - rather than trying to solve something or become
someone else. And it is this journey towards your authentic self that makes you instantly attractive to women.
So, let there be no doubt: nobody has ever earned a black belt from reading about martial arts. Anybody who ever became a good soccer player did so
because he played on the soccer field all of the time. Anybody who ever became good with women did so because he moved about in the land of women all
of the time. In other words, to have experience in the land of women you will have to create experiences in the land of women.
Only experience and practice will ever make you better with women. You will not wake up one day and be great with women, and you will never "take care of
it once and for all". This is a never ending journey of mystery and understanding. A journey towards more excellence, a journey towards your authentic self, a
journey towards your attractive self, a journey towards maximizing your attractive traits.
Having said that, there are some tools that will speed up the journey, tools that will make you better faster. Tools that will make sure you get the most out of
your experiences in the land of women:
1. Your curiosity: As Zan says: "curiosity is intelligence" and curiosity breeds curiosity. You are automatically good in what you are curious about. You can
choose to become more curious about women and your authenticity. You can choose to explore your love for women and explore how to maximize your
attractive traits.
2. Awareness of your intentions: Decide to become aware of your intentions at all times. In any of your actions and interactions, ask yourself: "What is my
agenda? Am I trying to take something from this woman? Am I trying to share something with her? Have I put myself fully forward into the interaction or did
I hold back? Have I spoken my truth?" To become mindful of your intentions is very helpful in finding your authentic self.
3. Blurt: Communicate your intentions to others. Become aware of your agenda in any interaction and speak it to the person in front of you. With empathy
and grace. Without being blunt, communicate your intentions to others. Ask for what you want. It is refreshing to others and it is the fastest way to your
authentic self.
These 3 tools will speed up your journey towards your authentic self, your attractive self.
And it gets even better than this... Using these tools will INSTANTLY make you more attractive to women. You can decide NOW to become more curious, to
become aware of your intentions and to communicate those intentions to women, and that decision is enough to become instantly more attractive to women.
Women are attracted to men who are curious about women, men who explore their love for women and are on a journey for more excellence and their
authenticity.
So embark on this journey to more excellence, the journey to your authenticity, with the 3 tools provided here, and share this journey with the woman in
front of you. Share it with her and worlds of mystery and wonder will open up ... you will have embarked on a never ending journey of discovery, excitement
and learning.
~ Hans Comijn
Want to know more about maximizing your attractive traits?
http://www.arsamorata.com
Join us and the Amorati today!

Our Beliefs Living Like Champions
Hans Comyn
To act anyway and show up in the land of women will teach you everything you
want to know about women.




Our Beliefs Living Like Champions
Tags: Living like a champion Choice Show up Higher self Saboteur Masculine
edge Act Anyway
Hans Comyn Lesson
Show Up
The difference between mediocre lives and grand lifes is to act anyway, to
show up.
The voice of your Saboteur will never go away, and the difference between
failure and success is not the absence of that voice, the absence of fear. The
difference is not confidence, it is the willpower and discipline to show up, to
act anyway.
We have this weird idea that we first have to be good with women before we
go and talk to women. How crazy is that? ... we think we have to logic it out,
gather 'all the necessary info' and than move in the land of women with the
right knowledge to get the expected results. We think there is a magic pill ...
we wish we could have this part handled for once and for all ...We are wrong.
You do not have to be good before you go and talk to women. In fact, you
cannot be good with women without showing up in the land of women. The
only thing you can do - the only thing you have to do is to SHOW UP.
Nobody has ever earned a black belt from reading about martial arts.
Anybody who ever became a good soccer player did so because he played on
the soccer field all of the time. Anybody who ever became good with women
did so because he moved about in the land of women all of the time.
In other words, to have experience in the land of women you will
have to create experiences in the land of women.
Only experience and practice will ever make you better with women. To get
experience and practice you need to show up. Showing up is the only thing
you can do. And showing up is the only thing you have to do. Showing up is
the magic pill to becoming good with women.
And here is a great thing: as soon as you start showing up, you will be
more attractive to women, instantly. Women everywhere in the world tell us
they do not mind if you are a little nervous. They find it endearing. Just
show up. When one of the women in our event was asked why women get
together with jerks, her answer was "Because they ask." This is incredible
insight for us. All you have to do is show up in life. Ask for what you want. It
is a simple as that.
Show up in this world and ask for what you want. Show up in your authentic
stumbling self and you set yourself apart from most other men.
So, are you gonna keep standing back, or are you going to show up? Are you
gonna continue wishing or are you gonna show up? Are you gonna continue
listening to your saboteur, or CHOOSE to show up in the land of women? It
is a choice you can and have to make RIGHT NOW. You always can start
walking and start talking. You have the choice.
In fact, we expect each one of you to choose to show up for the remainder of
this program. We do not want to hear anymore how Your Saboteur got the
better of you. You can always choose to start walking and start talking,
and everything you say from this day forward must be about the
experiences you got from showing up.
Deal?
~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
Decide Now to Be More Attractive to Women!
Many successful men come to us to help them handle the love part of their life. Everything in
life is going good for them, but they feel they don't have clarity in their interactions with women. As Zan says, "They want to know they can walk into a room
with women and have what it takes to succeed". In other words, they come to us to "fix that problem" and help them take care of this area of their life once
and for all.
However, while that desire and ambition is very real and noble, there is no such thing as "taking care of it once and for all." We don't believe there are any
problems that need solving, and there is no magic pill that will take care of this issue once and for all. Becoming good with women is not even a skill set you
must acquire...
Let me explain...
To become good with women is part of a much larger journey. It is a journey towards more excellence. A journey towards your authentic self, your attractive
self. And on this journey, all you have to do is seek to maximize the attractive traits you already have - rather than trying to solve something or become
someone else. And it is this journey towards your authentic self that makes you instantly attractive to women.
So, let there be no doubt: nobody has ever earned a black belt from reading about martial arts. Anybody who ever became a good soccer player did so
because he played on the soccer field all of the time. Anybody who ever became good with women did so because he moved about in the land of women all
of the time. In other words, to have experience in the land of women you will have to create experiences in the land of women.
Only experience and practice will ever make you better with women. You will not wake up one day and be great with women, and you will never "take care of
it once and for all". This is a never ending journey of mystery and understanding. A journey towards more excellence, a journey towards your authentic self, a
journey towards your attractive self, a journey towards maximizing your attractive traits.
Having said that, there are some tools that will speed up the journey, tools that will make you better faster. Tools that will make sure you get the most out of
your experiences in the land of women:
1. Your curiosity: As Zan says: "curiosity is intelligence" and curiosity breeds curiosity. You are automatically good in what you are curious about. You can
choose to become more curious about women and your authenticity. You can choose to explore your love for women and explore how to maximize your
attractive traits.
2. Awareness of your intentions: Decide to become aware of your intentions at all times. In any of your actions and interactions, ask yourself: "What is my
agenda? Am I trying to take something from this woman? Am I trying to share something with her? Have I put myself fully forward into the interaction or did
I hold back? Have I spoken my truth?" To become mindful of your intentions is very helpful in finding your authentic self.
3. Blurt: Communicate your intentions to others. Become aware of your agenda in any interaction and speak it to the person in front of you. With empathy
and grace. Without being blunt, communicate your intentions to others. Ask for what you want. It is refreshing to others and it is the fastest way to your
authentic self.
These 3 tools will speed up your journey towards your authentic self, your attractive self.
And it gets even better than this... Using these tools will INSTANTLY make you more attractive to women. You can decide NOW to become more curious, to
become aware of your intentions and to communicate those intentions to women, and that decision is enough to become instantly more attractive to women.
Women are attracted to men who are curious about women, men who explore their love for women and are on a journey for more excellence and their
authenticity.
So embark on this journey to more excellence, the journey to your authenticity, with the 3 tools provided here, and share this journey with the woman in
front of you. Share it with her and worlds of mystery and wonder will open up ... you will have embarked on a never ending journey of discovery, excitement
and learning.
~ Hans Comijn
Want to know more about maximizing your attractive traits?
http://www.arsamorata.com
Join us and the Amorati today!

Our Beliefs Living Like Champions
Hans Comyn
To act anyway and show up in the land of women will teach you everything you
want to know about women.




Our Beliefs Living Like Champions
Tags: Show up Comfort zone Living like a champion Act Anyway Choice
View Comments (0) Comment
Zan Perrion Assignment
Exploring Living Like Champions
Your Mission this week is, first of all, to consider who you are on this earth.
(Remember, your list is the key).
Who are you? What do you want your life to look like? What is your legacy?
What kind of men were your ancestors, your direct blood fathers? Who were
these men who went before you, blazing a trail of courage?
They were champions. And this is your legacy. It is time to live like
champions on this earth again. It is time to be leaders!
This is the only thing that women are attracted to. You have the right to
occupy your space on this earth. You have the weight of the whole world
beneath you!
So building on the themes that went before (becoming aware of the voice of
Your Saboteur, learning to throw away assumptions and perspectives that
don't help us prosper, and occupying entirely new and better perspectives),
your mission is to go this week and find a number of situations where you
would normally hesitate. For instance, in your daily routines, or when you go
out, look for ten different women that you would normally hesitate to
approach. The kind that make your Saboteur start talking. The kind that
make you nervous if you were to go approach her.
Now choose the specific perspective of the Champion that you are. Find that
centre. Find that essence of masculinity. Lower your centre of gravity.
Ground yourself to the earth.
If necessary, change your bodygeography. Leave your old story, your
assumptions and hesitation behind and occupy the perspective of your
ancestors in this new position.
Take a deep breath.
Then, ACT ANYWAY and SHOW UP. Approach those ten women.
Again, it matters not what you say at this point. Say whatever comes to
mind. Just smile and say hello. The key is to remind yourself all week that
you have what it takes! You have the right to say hello to her. In fact, you
have the obligation.
If you have a hard time blurting, saying hello, ... say: "I was over there ... and
something in you drew me over here ... and I had to come say hello to you."
Say it with ease and delight ... no seriousness at all!
You have the blood of champions. It is time for this group of men to begin to
show this to the world...
~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
Assignment
Question 1
How many women did you talk to despite being nervous?
Answer required
Question 2
How did this make you feel?
Answer required
Upload or Insert:
Question 3
What is the worst thing that happened when you talked to these
women?
Answer required
Upload or Insert:
Question 4
The worst thing that happened is not really bad at all. In the game
of love and romance you have nothing to lose but your ego.
Answer required
True False



Our Beliefs Living Like Champions
Tags: Show up Comfort zone Living like a champion Act Anyway Choice
View Comments (0) Comment
Zan Perrion Assignment
Exploring Living Like Champions
Your Mission this week is, first of all, to consider who you are on this earth.
(Remember, your list is the key).
Who are you? What do you want your life to look like? What is your legacy?
What kind of men were your ancestors, your direct blood fathers? Who were
these men who went before you, blazing a trail of courage?
They were champions. And this is your legacy. It is time to live like
champions on this earth again. It is time to be leaders!
This is the only thing that women are attracted to. You have the right to
occupy your space on this earth. You have the weight of the whole world
beneath you!
So building on the themes that went before (becoming aware of the voice of
Your Saboteur, learning to throw away assumptions and perspectives that
don't help us prosper, and occupying entirely new and better perspectives),
your mission is to go this week and find a number of situations where you
would normally hesitate. For instance, in your daily routines, or when you go
out, look for ten different women that you would normally hesitate to
approach. The kind that make your Saboteur start talking. The kind that
make you nervous if you were to go approach her.
Now choose the specific perspective of the Champion that you are. Find that
centre. Find that essence of masculinity. Lower your centre of gravity.
Ground yourself to the earth.
If necessary, change your bodygeography. Leave your old story, your
assumptions and hesitation behind and occupy the perspective of your
ancestors in this new position.
Take a deep breath.
Then, ACT ANYWAY and SHOW UP. Approach those ten women.
Again, it matters not what you say at this point. Say whatever comes to
mind. Just smile and say hello. The key is to remind yourself all week that
you have what it takes! You have the right to say hello to her. In fact, you
have the obligation.
If you have a hard time blurting, saying hello, ... say: "I was over there ... and
something in you drew me over here ... and I had to come say hello to you."
Say it with ease and delight ... no seriousness at all!
You have the blood of champions. It is time for this group of men to begin to
show this to the world...
~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
Assignment
Question 1
How many women did you talk to despite being nervous?
Answer required
Question 2
How did this make you feel?
Answer required
Upload or Insert:
Question 3
What is the worst thing that happened when you talked to these
women?
Answer required
Upload or Insert:
Question 4
The worst thing that happened is not really bad at all. In the game
of love and romance you have nothing to lose but your ego.
Answer required
True False



Our Beliefs Living Like Champions
Tags: Masculine edge Higher self Living like a champion Show up Never settle
Hans Comyn Lesson
Seeking Excellence
Seek more excellence.
What does it mean to "live like champions"? It is the concept of truly
embracing life, of being unapologetically masculine, of being purposeful and
mindful in everything we do.
The secret of all of this is that there is no need to ever "chase" women. It is
no longer necessary when we are living lives of excellence. This is not to say
that we don't want or need women in our life... it just means that we are on a
quest for excellence that has very little to do with her. And when we set out
on this journey of excellence, women will always find us attractive, and we
will learn to sense the abundance of women.
Seek more excellence in your relations, in your life. Make a decision for more
excellence ... and act anyway. Acting anyway is the difference between living
a mediocre life and a life of excellence. And that choice, the choice you can
make NOW, instantly makes you more attractive to women.
You can literally announce it to women: "I seek more excellence in my life, in
my relations with women. I am a student of life, a student of women, ... I am
on a journey of learning, of excellence ... ".
We, as men, have forgotten how to stand on the earth. We have forgotten
how to be spacious. We have forgotten that we have been given a name. We
have forgotten the legacy of all those who came before us. We dial ourselves
down.
We settle.
And there's the problem. We settle - in our careers, in our relationships, in
all aspects of our lives. Women everywhere are asking "Where are the real
men?" And we're over here in the corner saying, "It's good enough."
No more! Never settle. Dregs settle.
Always remember the legacy of those who came before you. Because of them,
you have the right to occupy your space on earth. You have the right to speak
your name. You have the right to be spacious.
And you certainly have the right to talk to that girl!
~ Zan Perrion and Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
Here are some related discussions the essence of masculinity and living
large:
http://www.naturalgame.com/showthread.php?t=3341
Our Beliefs Living Like Champions
Tags: Seeking excellence
Hans Comyn
It is not always easy to aspire to more excellence in your life. At times, you will feel
frustrated, alone, and hurt. However, to not aspire to excellence is a lot worse,
because the pain of regret that comes with it, you will feel forever. The pain that
comes from imagining what could have been is a pain that never ceases.
Jun 23 at 03:00 PM Our Beliefs Living Like Champions
Tags: Living like a champion
Hans Comyn
Stop doing what you do not love. NOW.


Hans Comyn Lesson
Debrief Living Like Champions
Think back at the story of your ancestors. Remember your forefathers and
ask yourself: are you man enough to honour your legacy? Are you going to
stand tall on this earth and put a stake in the ground? Are you going to show
up?
Cause every time we hesitate to approach a woman that we find attractive,
we are letting our fathers down. And what's more, we are letting her down.
And we are letting ourself down. On the other hand, every time you see an
attractive girl and you walk over to her, you just showed up as a man in the
world. You are discharging your duty as a man. This is just as much an act of
masculinity as your father from the distant past standing on the earth on a
battlefield... with a sword in his hand. If you show up in this world with your
authenticity, fully present, and you speak your truth, you have just
discharged your duty as a man.
So remember to stop measuring your success by the reaction you get and
start measuring your success by the way you put yourself forward into this
world. Next time you are analyzing a past interaction, ask yourself: Have I
shown up? Have I spoken my truth?.
And interestingly, as soon as you start showing up, you instantly become
more attractive to women.
Never forget that the difference between success and failure is not the
absence of fear, the absence of a saboteur. The difference between failure
and success is not confidence, but your decision to act anyway. The courage
to act anyway, the discipline to keep showing up. Anybody who ever became
good with women did so because he moved about in the land of women all of
the time. In other words, to have experience in the land of women you will
have to create experiences in the land of women.
So whenever you see an attractive woman, start walking and start talking.
Find the willpower and discipline to show up, to act anyway, to DO YOUR
MISSIONS and apply our words to your daily life. Start walking and start
talking. Again and again. Find the willpower and discipline to seek more
excellence in this life. To seek more excellence in your relationships with
women. Even if you do not know how - find the willpower and discipline to
just show up in your authentic, stumbling self. If you know that is WHAT you
want to do, the how will take care of itself.
Show up and create experiences in the land of women.
So everything you say and ask for the rest of these 90 days must be based on
experience. On your experiences in the land of women. Your mentor and we
will be glad to answer any question based on your experiences of doing the
missions. We will not answer questions on how to 'fight' the saboteur. You
know already how to fight it.
In fact, you have committed to action - you have committed to show up. Are
you going to stick with your commitment? Your actions will tell if you really
want the change you envision, or if you just say you do.
Any questions?
~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata


Curiosity
Tags: Curiosity Choice
Zan Perrion Lesson
Curiosity
The past four weeks have all about raising our awareness. So far we have
explored:
Awareness of your Saboteur and what it is saying to you. Awareness also of
the multitude of Perspectives that are valid and from which you can choose.
Finally, awareness of the fact that you have the Blood of Champions running
through your veins.
Awareness is curative. Becoming aware of all this is all you can do, and
becoming aware is all you need to do.
Awareness is indeed a tool to start designing your life. The reason why we
put so much time and energy into this is because of the stories we have been
telling ourselves all these years. Without being aware of it, we have carried
this default story, these beliefs, these perspectives, with us for most of our
life and we have brought it into most of our interactions with women.
And now we are becoming aware of all that.
And now that we are becoming aware of the stories we tell ourselves, it is
time to act anyway and do it with a big push. We are going to learn to
approach and interact ANYWAY. Since last week, our missions have changed
from theoretical scenarios to practical interactions, and for the rest of the
program, the focus will be on those practical interactions. We are going to
practice approaching and interacting anyway - no matter what the Saboteur
says to us. TO ACT ANYWAY, despite what our Saboteur is telling us, is the
difference between living a mediocre life and a life of excellence.
And amazingly, the act of approaching and interacting with women in this
world will teach you everything.
We will provide you tools to make ACTING ANYWAY easier, but never forget
that everything stops and starts with YOUR CHOICE, your decision to ACT
ANYWAY.
Let's move with big strides into the land of women!
Today, we want to introduce another tool to make acting anyway easier. It is
the most important tool to move into the land of women with ease and
delight, whether you are meeting new women, dating them or in a
relationship with them.
It is the most important gift a man can give to women, and the single tool
that will make you interesting, charming, attractive.
Curiosity.
"Love is three quarters curiosity." said Casanova, and we think curiosity not
only is your gift to women; it is also your fast lane to maximizing your
attractive traits.
Curiosity is one of the most important things that you can develop in your
life. It is our belief that intelligence is curiosity. That's all it is. If you are
curious, you are automatically intelligent.
The fantastic thing is that you will become good in what you are curious
about. If you are really curious about computers, you will become good at
them. If you are really curious about women, you will be good with women.
Decide to explore your curiosity for women, and you will become better with
them. Invariably!
And curiosity is attractive to women. If you are curious, if you are interested,
you are automatically interesting to her. If you are interested in her, you are
interesting and attractive to her.
Usually when a man meets a woman he likes, he thinks - mistakenly - that in
order to attract that woman he must impress her. So he begins to brag
desperately, trying to tell her as quickly as he can everything he believes she
might find interesting about him. He talks non-stop, he tries to be funny, he
tries to impress her, and quickly overwhelms her with a pile of unremarkable
personal information.
He tries to impress her rather than be interesting ... he tries to impress her
rather than be interested ...
So be interesting rather than being impressive.
How?
By being curious about her ... if you are interested in her you are
automatically interesting to her ...
This week we are going to concentrate on becoming more curioius. We are
going to be curious about her and only her.
“The most important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has it’s own
reason for existing.” - Albert Einstein
"Go around asking a lot of damn fool questions and taking chances. Only
through curiosity can we discover opportunities, and only by gambling can
we take advantage of them." - Clarence Birdseye
~ Zan Perrion and Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
Question:
If you couldn't talk about your job, city of birth or hobbies and
were asked who you are, what would you say?
Curiosity
Tags: Curiosity
Zan Perrion
"Love is three quarters curiosity." Casanova



 Curiosity
Tags: Curiosity Choice
Hans Comyn Lesson
Becoming Curious About Her
How can you learn to be curious? How can you learn to be genuinely
interested?
By making a decision to do so.
Choose to become curious.
Choose curiosity and curiosity will breed curiosity.
Choose to say "I am curious ..." and you will become more curious.
Remember to focus on what and the how will take care of itself.
Like we said yesterday, the fantastic thing is that you will become good in
what you are curious about. If you are really curious about computers, you
will become good at them. If you are really curious about women, you will be
good with women. Decide to explore your curiosity for women, and you will
become better with them. Invariably!
If you decide you want to become more curious, you will find a way.
So here’s a practical 3 step process:
1) See a woman
2) Become curious about her
3) Blurt what you are curious about, starting with "I am curious..."
Check this interview on Belgian TV again for more on
curiosity: http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=99544596882
And here’s the link about it on the forum:
http://www.naturalgame.com/showthread.php?t=2839
Guys ask us all the time: "How can I be curious about a woman I just met?"
Like we said: choice. Choose curiosity. Choose to cultivate your curiosity.
Curiosity is a muscle you can train. Choose curiosity now, and as you will
notice, with experience, that your curiosity will grow and grow ...
You will find bigger and more questions ... and your world will expand ... At
first you will become curious about her, about that necklace, about the dress
.... With experience, you will become curious about the bigger questions.
What does she love?
Who is this person across form me?
What is she passionate about?
As you become more curious about the woman that is sitting across from
you, you will dispense with the chitchat and dial right into the bigger
questions. You can even blurt her: "Let's dispense with the chitchat for now,
and tell me ... who is this person across from me. You are a beautiful woman,
Maria, I can see that .... you have been complimented many times .... I know
... but tell me something interesting about you."
Choose curiosity now and through your experiences curiosity will breed
curiosity.
~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
p.s. avoid being heavy when you are approaching and just talking to a
woman. This post is about curiosity and how to train it. It does not mean you
have to be profound and heavy with a woman you just met.
Question:
Think about your last girlfriend or closest female friend, and
answer this question: What are you curious about right now in
that woman?
Curiosity
Tags: Curiosity Choice
Hans Comyn
Do not try to be impressive, be interesting. How? By being interested, by being
curious.


Curiosity
Tags: Perspectives Act Anyway Curiosity Apply Choice Show up
Hans Comyn Assignment
Exploring Curiosity
Curiosity breeds curiosity.
Choose to be curious BY SAYING IT.
Choose what you want to become curious about and you will become good at
it.
Saying "I am serious" is like changing your position to change perspective!
Your Mission this week is to immerse yourself fully in the concept of
curiosity. Explore your curiosity ... Explore your curiosity for women, for
people, for attraction, for life .... and share that curiosity with the people you
meet. Explore your curiosity and speak your truth.
Be curious about everything, and notice what that creates in you. Be curious
about what your saboteur is saying. Be curious about your intention during
the interaction. Are you trying to speak your truth? Are you genuinely
interested in this person? Are you trying to get something from her? Are you
present or are you trying to steer the interaction towards a certain outcome?
Be curious about how your body reacts when you are nervous.
Most importantly, be curious about the woman you see over there. Inhabit
that kind of thinking.
Build on what you learned in the weeks before. Remember that becoming
aware of the stories your Saboteur is telling you, and learning to choose new
Perspectives, and remembering always that you have the Blood of
Champions - these are all incredible tools that you will use throughout the
rest of your life.
So when you see a woman, become curious about her and the situation and
blurt what you are curious about.
What is really important is for you to act anyway - in spite of your old story.
What is really important is you approach anyway. What is really important is
for you to talk to her anyway. What is really important is not to hold back
and say whatever is on your mind ... blurt what you are curious about.
To go and talk to her is a decision to make. To no hold back and speak your
truth in every interaction is a decision to make. You only need to focus on
having an interaction. No matter how that interaction goes. Stop measuring
your success by the reaction you get - measure your success by your
commitment to putting yourself forward into the interaction. Have you
spoken your truth?
The interactions themselves will teach you all you need to know. And we only
want to hear about how those interactions went.
So here’s the mission:
View Comments (0) Comment
Approach ten women.
In each of these situations, concentrate only on being curious about
everything. Get curious about her and the situation, use whatever tools we
gave you, walk up to her, and blurt whatever you got curious about. Say: "I'm
curious about..." Then pick something - anything! What you say after that
does not matter at all.
"I'm curious about those shoes..."
"I'm curious about why I am drawn to you ..."
"I'm curious about why you look so happy ..."
"I'm curious about why men are afraid to talk to girls like you ..."
"I am a student of life and of attraction and I am curious about you ..."
or answer any of her questions with "I am just curious."
Remember, it is not important to get a certain result. We just want you to
train your curiosity muscle and speak it to the world.
~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
Assignment
Question 1
How many women did you talk to?
Answer required
Question 2
What were/are you most curious about when it comes to the
women that enter you life?
Answer required
Upload or Insert:
Question 3
Were you able to speak your curiosity?
Answer required
Upload or Insert:
Question 4
How did it make you feel to speak it? How did you think it made
her feel?
Answer required
Upload or Insert:
Question 5
What were you thinking afterwards?
Answer required
Upload or Insert:


Dancing In the Moment
Tags: Blurt Intention Invite
Zan Perrion
Creating the Experience
Naming it is not only powerful when you name what is going on; it is also
very powerful to name what you would like to see happen in the
interaction.
The first gets you out of your head and into your body; the second is a great
tool to lead the interaction, lead the dance.
By naming what you would like to see happen you are proactively creating
the experience with her. You are setting intention for the interaction between
you and her.
Amorati are leaders, creators, and by naming something, you make it real.
When you name something, you create something.
"You should come with me... it will be excellent... and I know you can't, but
wow, you are still invited... I mean, look what's going on between us right
now!"
Naming it is thus also mindfully creating the experience, setting intention. By
expressing what you would like to happen. When we do this, when we
express what we would like to happen, we create it!
Again, this cannot be said in a serious mode at all! This is very important!
Always be fun and light as you do this.
~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
Question:
What would you like to see happen with the women you met in the
past days?
Dancing In the Moment
Tags: Lead
Hans Comyn
Listen and lead the dance.


Dancing In the Moment
Tags: Blurt Intention Invite
Zan Perrion
Creating the Experience
Naming it is not only powerful when you name what is going on; it is also
very powerful to name what you would like to see happen in the
interaction.
The first gets you out of your head and into your body; the second is a great
tool to lead the interaction, lead the dance.
By naming what you would like to see happen you are proactively creating
the experience with her. You are setting intention for the interaction between
you and her.
Amorati are leaders, creators, and by naming something, you make it real.
When you name something, you create something.
"You should come with me... it will be excellent... and I know you can't, but
wow, you are still invited... I mean, look what's going on between us right
now!"
Naming it is thus also mindfully creating the experience, setting intention. By
expressing what you would like to happen. When we do this, when we
express what we would like to happen, we create it!
Again, this cannot be said in a serious mode at all! This is very important!
Always be fun and light as you do this.
~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
Question:
What would you like to see happen with the women you met in the
past days?
Dancing In the Moment
Tags: Lead
Hans Comyn
Listen and lead the dance.




Dancing In the Moment
Tags: Follow your urge Not holding back Invite Lead Blurt Act Anyway Show
up Apply Grace
Hans Comyn
Debrief Dancing in the Moment
The dance metaphor is a very powerful metaphor to describe seduction, to
describe your relationship with women.
Once you have the simple realization that seduction is a dance for two,
you will know your role. First, you have to show up to the dance. Second, you
have to invite her to dance. Third, you have to lead the dance, tuned into
what she wants. Imagine you holding up your arm, giving her space to twirl -
you make it possible and you invite her to do that.
Once you show up to the dance, and you want to learn to become a better
dancer, decide first to stop holding back. Follow your urge more, and blurt.
Blurt what is on your mind – it is a great way to get out of your head and
into your body. Blurt by naming what is going on with you, with her, and
with the interaction. Also, very important, name what you would like to see
happen – it is a great way to lead the dance.
Most importantly, you do not have to be a great dancer to have fun dancing.
As soon as you show up to the dance, as soon as you show up and invite her
to dance, you will be attractive to women. And as soon as you show up, you
will start practicing the dance. Only practice, only experience will make you
better with women.
So venture out into the land of women and DANCE!
The past couple of weeks were very intense --- next week you will have time
to relax and take a break if necessary ... or step it up one gear if you prefer.
~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata



Ease and Delight
Tags: Ease and delight
Hans Comyn
How are you doing so far?
How do you think you are doing so far?
Start a discussion underneath.
Look at the answers your brothers are giving ... choose one ... and give your
advice to him.
Discussion
Question 1
Describe the progress you have made.
Answer required
Upload or Insert:
Question 2
Is there something you think you are not getting? What is it?
Answer required
Upload or Insert:
Question 3
Could you have done more?
Answer required
True False


file:///C|/Users/MAGEVE~1/AppData/Local/Temp/Adobe/Acrobat/10.0/A9R52EF.tmp.html[14-10-2012 1:54:54]
Ease and Delight
Tags: Ease and delight Recover
Zan Perrion
You are exactly where you need to be.
As we move forward in our understanding, there is always a little bit of doubt
and confusion. This is to be expected... after all, our Saboteur is very
powerful and is desperate to have us slip back into old habits and thought
patterns.
The things you are thinking and experiencing are completely normal during
this 90 day program. No one is exempt. It is part of learning to "trust the
process".
You are exactly where you need to be in your journey right now.
This is the point that most of us give up - we rarely push past this critical
stage in our life learning. Usually we let go, feeling we just aren't learning
fast enough, or that we are doing it wrong, or that the rest of the group is
way farther along in their understanding. Then a year or so later, we might
seek out another seminar, hoping it will be the one to "finally" make a lasting
change in our life.
And this discouraging time is normal and completely expected. Our Saboteur
is very strong, gentlemen, but we are stronger! This is a difficult journey, and
it is easy to get discouraged. But now is the time to push past the barriers
that have always held you trapped.
Are you going to give up, or are going to push through? Now is when the
discipline to keep moving forward comes in play. Your actions will show if
you really want change, or if you just say you do.
If you are still committed to change, than ask for what you need. We will not
let you down. This is a promise to you. Ask for what you need from your
mentor. Ask for what you need from Hans and I. We will do whatever we can
to be there for you.
Time to take a breather, gentlemen.
Always be recovering!
This week, it is time to rest easy. The theme is to remember how absolutely
delightful and easy this 90 day program really needs to be. How delightful
life really needs to be. Remember to step into this week with curiosity and
wonder.
Turn up the volume of you. Be more animated. In every situation you
encounter this week, when you feel yourself tightening up or getting anxious,
take a deep breath, and repeat to yourself
"Ease and delight". Let it all go.
Let it just drain out of your body, through your feet and into the earth.
Every encounter you have with a woman or with anyone this week should be
imbued with magnificent ease and delight!
Become a kid again, smile a lot, wink, tease, play, make fun of yourself.
Engage everyone!
First of all, make sure you remember the concept of "ease and delight" in the
learning process. Have fun on this journey. Do not forget you are already
trying. If you are trying to do the mission, you are already aspiring to
excellence, and you can forgive yourself all of the ‘mistakes’. Never forget
that. You will never be ‘perfect’, you’ll only get better. And when you feel like
it is not going fast enough, or you're falling behind, or you’re taking steps
backwards, realize you are exactly where you need to be. You are already on
this journey of excellence. You can forgive yourself for any confusion: “Ease
and delight, my friend!”
Second we want you to remember the concept of "ease and delight" in your
interactions with women. Stop being so serious. Don’t try to convince her of
anything. Don't ask her for anything. Don’t defend yourself, don’t explain.
Just be...
~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
Ease and Delight
Tags: Ease and delight Recover
Zan Perrion
You are exactly where you need to be.



Ease and Delight
Tags: Pausing Apply Ease and delight Mindfulness
Hans Comyn
Exploring Ease and Delight
This week's mission feeds right into the spirit of this whole journey. Ease and
delight. Ease and delight when you become aware of your Saboteur, of the
Perspectives you can take, of the Perspective of the Champion in you. Ease
and delight also when you are Curious about yourself, Curious about her,
Curious about the interaction. Ease and delight when Naming it and ease and
delight when you invite her into your world.
This week, we are going to do something special.
Remember, the goal of the theme this week, and this mission, is for you to
find ease and delight in the learning itself, to really try to understand why
you look at things a certain way, and why you always do things a certain
way. What are the patterns of your life? And how do they serve you? Is there
perhaps another perspective you could have? Another way of seeing things?
Another way of doing things?
We have created a number of very powerful, but easy and fun exercises and
activities for you. This is a list of creativity exercises that you can do
everyday. These exercises have a specific point to them – they’re designed to
train your mind to see everything and everyone around you from a different
perspective and to become more curious.
These creative exercises will break your ‘perception habits’ and allow you to
see everything around you from new points of view. They’ll exercise your
creativity muscles - so linear thinking will start to become a thing of the past.
And your creativity switch will start to be turned on every moment of your
life. You’ll find ease and delight in everything you do. These exercises and
activities might seem almost silly at first. But they’re not silly at all. They
really have a function and a purpose… to train your mind to get out of that
rut thinking, out of that herd mentality, and away from linear thinking… into
creative thinking and curiosity. From seriousness … into ease and delight.
You will become more curious… more intelligent. And when you start doing
these exercises which train your mind to think differently and get out of
mindless routines, there are going to be payoffs – big time. It’s like muscle
memory in athletics. If you take golf lessons or tennis lessons, you get muscle
memory. And the same thing can happen with the creative part of your mind.
Using your creativity again and again literally opens up the spigot to make it
flow continuously. Using your creativity again will help you in designing your
life and appreciating your journey every step of the way with ease and
delight.
Maybe not every one of these exercises will fit you or your lifestyle, but do as
many of them as you can, and as often as you can, and it will pay off. So
open your mind, and suspend judgment – that’s what curiosity is about.
Don’t worry about how you’re going to look, or how awkward it may seem.
Just submit to it. Trust the process!
Make notes and add to this list. Create your own creativity exercises,
curiosity exercises, ease and delight exercises. After you’ve done the exercise,
make a note of the result, what you noticed, how you felt, etc. Is there some
wacky or fun activity that you've always wanted to do, or haven’t done since
you were a child? Add it to the list, and go do it.
. Awaken at a different time, either earlier or later.
. Change the order and way you prepare for the day, i.e., order of bathing,
dressing, eating breakfast, etc.
. Change the way you greet people when you encounter them in the morning
or throughout the day.
. Try eating something from a cuisine you have not ever experienced.
. If you’re right handed, use your left hand, and vice versa.
. Change your facial expressions you maintain from your ordinary one to
smiling, joyous, friendly approach.
. Think carefully about what you say and have people comment back. i.e.,
instead of saying “Hello,” try saying, “It looks/seems/feels or should be a
great day today. Don’t you agree?” If they say “Yes,’ perhaps say, “I’ll check
with you tomorrow to see just how good it turned out for you,” or something
to that effect. If they respond negatively or seem non-responsive – try saying,
“Give it a chance. I think you’ll be in for a treat. Let me know.”
. Find something to appreciate, admire about each person you interact with.
. Take a different route to work, school, … and become mindful of the
environment you pass through, the people, houses, colors...
. Think about the people you deal with, co-workers, customers, supervisors,
vendors – and consider who they are, what they are, their problems and
goals. Ask yourself how you can make a big difference in their life.
. Try a new exercise routine for this week.
. Take dance lessons
. (Your idea)
If you have ever seen the reverse-episode of Seinfeld, use it as inspiration.
In other words, play!
Ease and delight, gentlemen... have fun this week!
~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
Assignment
Question 1
What did you do differently?
Answer required
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Question 2
What did you learn from this?
Answer required
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Question 3
What would you recommend to others?
Answer required
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Ease and Delight
Tags: Ease and delight Seeking excellence
Hans Comyn
You are already trying. As long as you seek more excellence, you can forgive
yourself all of your mistakes.


Ease and Delight
Tags: Blurt Ease and delight Not holding back Show up Stop being so serious
Hans Comyn
Stop being so serious
Stop being so serious...
One of the fundamental shifts in the success of men in this 'game' comes
when we stop being so serious around women and start having fun.
The fear of rejection, approach anxiety and the 'pick-up' routines that
attempt to bypass that fear and anxiety have made us so self-conscious that
we have become way too serious around women, even when it comes to
having fun!
We have become so serious about having fun, that we don't know how to
have to have fun with the serious things.
We all see the value of being fun around women, but many guys (and
especially cerebral, intellectual guys) often ask us how to be fun around
women. We are talking about smart and good guys, guys who laugh all day
long at the office and are the centre of attention and the life of the party
when they are among people they know, but freeze up whenever an
interesting girl is around.
The advice these guys find helpful is the breakthrough realisation of how
ridiculously funny their situation is!
If you recall my analogy of your sword-holding ancestors that fought on a
battlefield and the Blood of Champions that runs through your veins, it is
hard not to laugh at the idea of "approach anxiety", the fear of rejection, the
fear of dead silences and the inability to be fun around women. That's funny!
If you find yourself in this situation, if you have approach anxiety, fear of
rejection, have a dead silence or are unable to be fun around a girl, realize
the tragi-comical nature of your situation, and simply share it with the girl:
"Tell me, girl ... don't you think it's ridiculous ... I'm this great guy, my
friends all think I'm very funny ... but when I see a magnificent woman like
you ... I choke ... I get all stiff and serious ... ain't that the funniest thing?
Why do we keep doing that to ourselves? Do you guys bite or something?"
“Funny, I just ran of something to say...tell me something interesting about
you!”
Say this with curiosity, amazement and have fun with it. Do not say it
seriously!
See the fun (great perspective!), laugh with yourself and your shyness and
your seriousness, and share it with the girl.
~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
Ease and Delight
Tags: Ease and delight Stop being so serious
Hans Comyn
Stop taking yourself so serious. Ease and delight in your learning. Ease and delight
when you are talking to her.



Ease and Delight
Tags: Ease and delight Self-deprecating humour
Zan Perrion
Self-deprecating Humour
New found confidence in a man tends to trigger a type of cocky behaviour,
but there is a level of confidence that goes beyond this. Men filled with true
confidence, men completely and unapologetically being themselves, men
with a purpose and nothing to prove tend to be the opposite of cocky. In fact,
they playfully downplay their skills, their knowledge, their value.
This is what could be called self-deprecating humour, and it is the type of
humour that women love in a man.
Think about the moments you were being cocky, and what you were cocky
about... then think about the moments you were completely confident and
resorted to self-deprecating humour.
Aren't we being cocky only when we feel like we still have something to prove
(to ourselves and to others)?
A man with nothing to prove does not need to be cocky - he has no fear of
ridicule and thinks it's funny to downplay whatever he's being confident
about.
I like to quote what Cary Grant said when he was asked "What is the secret
to your success with women?". His answer? "I tell them I can't get it up..."
Another example is George Clooney, the fantasy of many many women. I have
never shies away from putting himself on the spot, taking a 'ridiculous' role
or talking about himself with self-deprecating humour.
One needs to have massive confidence to allow oneself to do this. We know
this, and women certainly know this. George Clooney is not so popular
despite that sense of humour, he's popular (in part) because of that sense of
humour.
That sense of humour is a symptom of his confidence, of him being
completely at peace with himself, a man with nothing to prove... women
sense that, and are massively attracted to it.
That's the true spirit of being a man with a purpose, and it is also in this
sense that you should stop being so serious.
In the animal kingdom, animals display cocky behaviour because they feel
threatened, or because they really need to mate. They feel that, and so they
try to impress. Remember the last time you were trying to be cocky - you
were either among other guys measuring up to each other, or with a new girl
whom you were trying to impress. Are you usually cocky with true close
friends or girlfriends you feel completely comfortable with? Exactly!
Men with core confidence, with nothing to prove, never feel under siege,
under threat... they NEVER defend themselves and they don't feel the need to
be cocky... no hint of insecurity, no need to prove or impress... no fear of
ridicule. These men do not need to resort to cocky behaviour; they think it's
funny to downplay whatever they feel confident about.
Remember: "You don't have to be impressive... you just have to be
interesting."
~ Zan Perrion and Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata


Ease and Delight
Tags: Apply Ease and delight
Hans Comyn
Ease and Delight - Practical
REMINDER - Ease and delight when talking to women. You HAVE
NOTHING TO LOOSE BUT YOUR EGO. You cannot fail. You can only win.
Ease and delight.
Whenever she says something serious or tries to bring the interaction to a
heavier place, say something like:
- “Hmm, I don’t know what you are talking about.”
- “You’re still here? Wow, you must love me a lot!”
- “Why do you love me so much?”
- “It's ok... I forgive you, now come here and give me a kiss.”
She: “Are you a player?” - You (smiling): “I’m the worst … it’s bad, bad, bad
… but you’re my favourite”
“Of course I am inviting you to spend the night with me. Don't worry... I
promise you won’t feel a thing!”
Ease and Delight is your new mantra. Say it every day and all day long!
~ Hans Comijn and Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata



Hans Comyn
Debrief Ease and Delight
Ease and Delight, my friends, Ease and Delight ...
First of all, ease and delight in the learning process. Have fun on this
journey. Embrace your issues, your questions with amazement, wonder and
curiosity instead of impatiently trying to figure out the answers.
Do not forget you are already trying. If you are trying to do the mission, you
are already aspiring to excellence, and you can forgive yourself all of the
‘mistakes’. Never forget that. You will never be ‘perfect’, you’ll only get better.
And when you feel like it is not going fast enough, or you're falling behind, or
you’re taking steps backwards, realize you are exactly where you need to be.
You are already on this journey of excellence. You can forgive yourself for
any confusion: “Ease and delight, my friend!”
Second we want you to remember the concept of "ease and delight" in your
interactions with women. Stop being so serious. Don’t try to convince her of
anything. Don't ask her for anything. Don’t defend yourself, don’t explain.
Just be...
These words here on the platform mean nothing without THAT
EXPERIENCE, and as soon as you interact, I suggest you JUST LET GO OF
EVERYTHING YOU THINK YOU KNOW AND SURRENDER TO THE
MOMENT.
Act anyway ... experience ... in this game of love you have nothing to lose but
your ego. You can only win. As soon as you act, you win.
And we expect nothing less from you. If you are to become an Amorati, you
will be someone who acts anyway. Now is the time to push past the barriers
that have always held you trapped.
Besides the willpower, have you developed a discipline to act anyway? Are
you ready to push past the barriers in the next weeks?
Are you worthy to become an Ars Amorata graduate?
As you answer these questions, remember that if you are committed to
THAT, then you can ask for what you need from us. We will not let you
down. This is a promise to you. Ask for what you need from your mentor.
Ask for what you need from us. We will do whatever we can to be there for
you.
If you are committed, that is.
ARE YOU?
~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata


Invite
Zan Perrion
Spirit of Invitations
We have moved further along on our scale from left to right. On the left we
were standing alone - with our assumptions, our Saboteur, our old story. We
moved further to the right - toward the land of women - as we learned to
explore new Perspectives, and learned to choose the perspective of a
Champion. We also learned how to use Curiosity as a tool to approach and
interact with women, and the incredible power of Naming It.
Now we arrive at the culmination of the past weeks. We are arriving in the
land of women. If anything can be called the "Zan Method", it is simply this:
Put invitations into the world, and I leave them there!
In other words, don't try anything. Do not be out for any specific result. Be
completely open to all outcomes, and attached to none. Don't ask a girl out.
Or if she is free. Or if she would like to go for coffee. Or what she is doing
later. Instead, simply lay out an invitation. And do so without any
presumption or expectation.
You can say something like, "There's something about you... and I don't
know what it is. You seem very interesting... cancel your plans tonight and
come out with me..."
And you can say this very early in the interaction - sometimes even as the
opener! Always say it with a smile, and with delight! And without apology...
~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
Joao Fernandes
Recently I came in contact with something that never occured to me: For some of
you approaching 10 women is hard, but for others is almost nothing. The latest
should remember that the assignments require AT LEAST 10, not "just 10". In any
assignment you should push over your confort zone, be it 10, 30 or 50. Approach
the greatest amount of girls that you can.


Invitations
Tags: Apply Make statements Invite
Zan Perrion
Making Statements
Here is a practical thing you can do to get into the spirit of invitation:
Stop asking questions, start making statements.
In other words, do not ask a girl out. Or if she is free. Or if she would like to
go for coffee. Or what she is doing later. Instead, simply lay out an invitation
by making a statement. Simply extend the invitation as a gift from you to
her.
So, instead of asking: “Are you free on Saturday?” or “Would you like to get
a coffee with me?”, say something like:
"There's something about you... and I don't know what it is. You seem very
interesting... cancel your plans tonight and come out with me...."
Not a question – you are not asking for anything – but a statement, a gift
from you to her. You give her an invitation … So lay out your invitation by
making a statement. Extend your invitation with a smile, and with delight,
without apology, without presumption or without expectation of something
in return.
Example: Instead of "Would you like to get a coffee on friday." say:
"Let's get coffee on friday."
~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
Question:
Give an example of how you will change a question into a
statement from this day forward. Fill in the blanks: "In stead of
'_____', I will say: '______'.
Invitations
Tags: Make statements Invite
Zan Perrion
Turn your invitation from a question into a statement.



Hans Comyn
Love to see how strong you guys are going. Now is when new habits are formed so
push through. Make it till the end, do your assignments, and you will become
Amorati, and be plugged into this network for the rest of your life!
Invitations
Tags: Invite
Zan Perrion
Vicky Cristina Barcelona
I saw the movie "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" on the plane some time ago and
as I watched it, I was shocked at how similar I do is to what Javier Bardem
does in this movie. It is exactly what I do and exactly the demeanor and
unassuming attitude that I have when talking to a woman!
He simply invites, with a smile on his face, without presumption, and
without withdrawing the invitation. This attitude and mindset is what I have
been trying to describe to guys for years!
Watch the movie trailer and take note how he invites the girls the first time.
Notice that he has never spoken to these girls before, and he simply walks up
and invites them to spend the weekend with him, and to make love with him.
"Who exactly is going to make love? Hopefully the three of us..."
Look at his relaxed state. Look at how he does not ask if they are free. I have
simply states what he wants. This is exactly correct.
The blond is receptive and finds the invitation fun, but the brunette
seemingly rebuffs him and essentially tells him to "Go away". This is what is
happening on the surface level. But internally, the brunette can't stop
thinking about him.
There is another scene later in the movie when they are drinking wine
together - a great scene. Find it and notice how the brunette tries to shut
him down, going into a long speech about how she is not that kind of girl,
and how she is happy with her fiancee, etc. And watch him as he just sits
there and smiles - without apology! He puts his invitation out there, and she
certainly does not have to accept it. He is completely fine with that.
Do you see any sense of rejection on his face or in his body language or in his
demeanor?
This is highly instructive, and exactly what we have been trying to tell guys
for years.
Both scenes are here in short http://www.youtube.com/watch?
v=zwT2fPy7nsY
I suggest you watch the movie
~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata



Invitations
Tags: Apply Invite
Hans Comyn
Exploring Invitations
Do this. Approach five women this week, and present them with an
invitation. Just like that. As soon as you have a conversation going, you can
invite her. Do not ask in any way. Simply state what you want. Remember
the spirit of ease and delight.
Simply ask her to join you in something you are already doing.
So not "Are you free later?" or "Would you like to get coffee sometime?"
Instead,
“Come with me tonight..." and "Here’s an idea: I’m doing so and so later
on... you should come with me!" and "I understand you can't... but you are
still invited..."
And even better, invite her in to nothing... into your world... into the
experience of you...
"That’s amazing. You should come with me." and "I have no idea what we
are going to do... but you are still invited!" (we will elaborate on this
tomorrow)
Simply invite her without expectation, (but do not discard yourself from the
outset) and then leave the invitation out there. Invite thinking that she has
no real good reason to refuse, but do not get disappointed if she does. Invite
without presumption and leave your invitation out there.
If she says she can't (for whatever reason), just smile and say: "I understand,
and you’re still invited..."
Remember to have fun - ease and delight. You cannot fail!
~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
Assignment
Question 1
How many women did you invite?
Answer required
Question 2
What words did you use?
Answer required
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Question 3
Did it feel natural to you? How did it make you feel?
Answer required
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Question 4
What would you recommend to a brother so he would feel the
spirit of invitations?
Answer required
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Invite Invite into nothing
Zan Perrion
Invitation into Nothing
I think there are 3 levels of extending an invitation.
1. The first level of invitation is when we ask a girl out, hope she accepts, and
when she does, we create a date around her acceptance. We hope then she
will like the date with us more than the other dates she has been on. This is
the way we usually invite a girl, and it is better than not inviting at all.
However, on this first level, we still tend to be "asking" for something. We
can say this is the regular date, a date completely dependent upon her
acceptance of your invitation.
2. Than we get some more experience or follow the advice that says: invite
her to something you are already doing. We invite her to join us in an
activity we already planned. This is much better than "asking". It is a great
improvement from the regular ‘dating frame’, and most people teaching
about meeting people advise this type of invitation.
3. I go one step further. I invite a girl into nothing.
"Cancel your plans and come and visit me."
She: "What are we going to do?"
"I have no idea, I have not thought that far ahead yet ... come and visit."
This is an invitation into nothing. Nothing is planned - you invite her into
the event of you and her. You and here, THAT is the event. The invitation
into nothing is truly powerful. It is leading. It is confident. The invitation
into nothing means you are inviting her into the presence of you! You are
inviting her into your world. It makes no difference whatsoever what it is
that you do. You invite her into nothing...
Women will never be offended by a man who invites her into his presence -
as long as he does it with respect and without presumption or expectation. It
is different, and it will set you apart from other men. Not all women will
accept your invitation, but many a girl has said it is very 'refreshing to hear',
and the right ones will accept.
On top of that, to extend and invitation into nothing and leave it out there, is
a great way to show up in the world.
~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
Question:
Have you ever invited a woman into nothing? What do you think
about it? Does it scare you?
Now, try it.
Invitations
Tags: Invite Invite into nothing
Zan Perrion
Invite her into nothing.


Hans Comyn
Unattached to the Outcome
In this video I ask Zan about an interview I did with a Dutch reporter.
Discussion
Question 1
Do you see how the spirit of invitation is a great way to show up in
the world, helping you to stop measuring your success by the
reaction you get?
Answer
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Question 2
Has your attitude been shifting in that direction? Have you been
recovering back to that decisionBesides your initial motivation and
commitment, have you had the discipline to install this new habit,
by acting in accordance to how you want your life to look like,
rather than reacting to whatever emotion you are feeling?
Answer
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Question 3
What is needed for you? What is next for you?
Answer
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Question 4
What is the number one question you have right now, based on
your experiences in the land of women?
Answer
Upload or Insert:
file:///C|/Users/MAGEVE~1/AppData/Local/Temp/Adobe/Acrobat/10.0/A9RB55A.tmp.html[21-12-2012 23:30:23]
Hans Comyn
You cannot be rejected cause you are not asking for anything. You have nothing to
lose.



Hans Comyn
Debrief Invitations
Can you feel the spirit of invitation? Have you fed that spirit?
Put invitations out into the world, and I leave them out there!
In other words, do no try anything, do not be out for any specific result. Be
completely open to all outcomes, and attached to none. Desire without
dwelling on it.
Think of the spirit of invitation in this way: you are the organizer of a party
that has been THE PARTY OF THE YEAR for years now ... you KNOW it is
the most popular party of the year, and you can give out invitations to
anyone you want. This year, you know it will be a great party again,
independent of this or that girl accepting the invitation.
In practical terms it looks like laying out your invitation with a statement,
rather than with a question. It looks like laying out your invitation, and
leaving it out there. Do not apologize, do not defend or explain, and do not
take your invitation back! It looks like inviting her into nothing!
Go and rent Vicky Christina Barcelona to see how it is done.
More importantly, go out and practice your spirit of invitation. Explore that
spirit and find out how it looks to you.
I cannot stress enough how acting anyway, and acting more is impossible to
underestimate. If you want to learn more, if you want to learn faster, what
you need to do is ACT MORE and TALK MORE. Move into the land of
women ... move amongst them ...
Onwards my friends - next week more tools to help you acting more and
making your journey into the land of women a wondrous one ...
~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata



Hans Comyn
Do you love women?
Do you love women?
Discussion
Question 1
What do you love in women?
Why do you love them?
What is it about them you love?
Let us know in the most glorious fashion what you love about
women.
Answer required
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Apply Celebrating women
Hans Comyn
Exploring Celebrating Women
Find 10 women and celebrate her as a surprise gift especially for you.
How do you do this? You say, with delight and a smile on your face, “Wow,
you look absolutely stunning.”
Or you say, “Wow, look at you in that dress! You look spectacular. I was over
there and I saw you standing over here, and I just had to come say hello...”
These are all just examples of how you can celebrate women. The words do
not mean much ... the spirit of celebration is what matters. Find how
celebrating women looks to YOU.
So fill your conversation with amazement and celebrating:
“Wow, that’s incredible.”
You can cut her off in mid-sentence and celebrate her:
“You are magnificent.”
You can celebrate your girlfriend or wife:
“You are magnificent, you know that?”
“You are magnificent, you just need to know it.”
“Did I tell you already that you’re magnificent today?”
She: “Only 3 times”
“Ah… I just did not want to forget”
You can let yourself get caught in your lie:
You: “You are magnificent!”
She: “You say that to all women.”
You: “Yes … and you’re my favourite.” (smile, wink)
You can celebrate her and the moment and create what you want:
“Isn't it incredible?”
She: “What?”
You: “This! You, me, us meeting … look at what’s happening here … come
with me and let’s celebrate life!”
Also, keep doing what we assigned you to do in the beginning of the week...
for each of the 10 women you approach, you must say this phrase at some
point: "I am in love with women..." Say it all the time. If she asks you about
something about you, why you do something for example, your answer
should always be "Why? Because I love women!"
If she says anything negative or neutral, you simply smile and say, "It's ok... I
am just putting myself into the world and celebrating women."
“You’re magnificent, you just need to know it”. Hold eye contact when you
say it … really mean it – stand your ground, be curious and have empathy, be
amazed and delighted in this wonderful creature in front of you. She’s a
surprise gift especially for you. You can cut her off in conversation to say that
or you can even start talking to her with that phrase.
Here is another practical example of the way to celebrate women (notice also
the previous themes in this conversation – curiosity, naming it, invitation,
ease and delight):
Zan: Wow, look at you in that dress! You look spectacular. I was over there
and I saw you standing over here, and I just had to come say hello...
Her: Well, thank you!
Zan: I have never seen you before. Amazing, huh? I usually know all the girls
around here.
Her: Hmm, really...
Zan: Of course! Tell you what... why don't you cancel your plans and come
out with me this evening? We will celebrate!
Her: I can't. I have a boyfriend.
Zan: (leaning in and winking) Ah, but that's not what I asked.
Her: (laughing) That's true...
Zan: Is that a no?
Her: Hmm, I'd like to, but I can't...
Zan: I understand, of course. And don't worry, I completely respect that you
have a boyfriend. But hey, I would be remiss if I didn't come over here and
say hello to you, now wouldn't I? And I would be completely out of character
if I didn't offer you a shared adventure tonight. That's just my nature.
Her: That's refreshing to hear. In another time and place, perhaps...
Zan: (looking in her eyes and smiling) Yes, I can tell... just by looking at
you... in another time and place, you and I would be the most exquisite
lovers...
Her: Oh really? How can you be so sure? You don't even know my name...
Zan: Ah, but can you feel that in the air? That sense of destiny, that
connection?
Her: (smiles)
Zan: (laughing) Of course you can... look at you... you totally understand
what I am saying...
~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
Assignment
Question 1
How many women did you celebrate?
Answer required
Question 2
Did it feel natural? Did it become more natural?
Answer required
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Question 3
What does this say about you? Are you a true lover of beauty?
Answer required
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Question 4
How does your attitude change if you take the perspective that it is
your duty as a man to celebrate women?
Answer required
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Hans Comyn
Debrief Celebrating Women
Do you love women? Than why don't you say so?
A man who loves women is loved by women. A man who loves women, and
PROCLAIMS it to the world, is loved by women. Start proclaiming your love
for women:
"Because I love women" should be your answer to all of her questions. "I love
women, and look at you."
Compliment women as a true lover of women - compliment women in the
context of all women. It means you celebrate the femininity in her, it means
you celebrate the femininity in all women. A true lover of women loves all
women, not other women.
A true lover of women knows that the power he has over women lies in the
power they have over him.
And a real woman loves the compliment of a true lover, not despite his love
for women, not despite his celebration of femininity, but because of it.
Never forget, that a beautiful woman entering your life is a gift, a surprise
gift for YOU.
When you celebrate her in that way you are doing 2 things. First, you are
creating a space for her and invite her to step into that space, twirl, and
shine like a beautiful woman. Second, you are holding her to a higher
standard. You are creating a space in which beautiful women will show up.
You are not expecting it from her specifically, but from every woman that
wants to accept the invitation to dance with you.
We hope the practical suggestions, and your application, conveys and makes
you feel the spirit of what we are trying to say here.
Have you moved in the land of women? How is the program going
for you? If you have been doing your missions, and you have a
question, please ask me by personal message.
The next weeks we move from charm to magnetism.
~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata



Push the envelop
Hans Comyn
Be More Animated
Push the envelope. Push yourself a little further outside your comfort zone.
Do more. Express yourself more ... put more of you into this world. The
world needs more of YOU.
The first four weeks of the Ars Amorata program was all about the stories we
tell ourselves. In other words, our belief system, and the way we view the
world around us. The themes we explored, like “Your Saboteur”,
“Perspectives” and “Living Like Champions” were all themes designed to
build awareness in our being. We learned practical tools to make approaching
and talking to women easier.
The most important idea, however, was to ACT ANYWAY. To be aware of
your saboteur, to choose to listen to your higher self – the voice of the
champion – to suspend your judgement, to trust the process and to act
anyway. To interact anyway.
Moving forward from left to right, we spent the next five weeks on themes
focused around how to interact with women in an interesting manner.
“Curiosity,” “Dancing in the Moment,” “Invitations,” “Ease and Delight” and
“Celebrating Women” were all themes and tools you can use to design your
interaction with her, tools to create and lead that dance with her.
Now, in this last part of the program, we are going to deal with the more
advanced concepts of charm and charisma. We are going to give you a hint of
what makes a man not only charming, but magnetic, compelling. que
makes a man a woman's fantasy?
All of the concepts we are going to deal with for the rest of the program are
very subtle. As a consequence, they are difficult to teach and even harder to
put into words. The ways to learn it is this: focus only on your intentions...
your genuine love and curiosity for women... and practice, practice, practice.
Spend as much time as you can moving around in the land of women - with
your love for women evident for all to see ... and LET GO OF EVERYTHING
YOU THINK YOU KNOW.
This week's theme is called "Aliveness". This is the outward manifestation of
charm and charisma.
Whenever you are interacting with a woman, let go of everything you think
you know, and turn up the volume you. Push the envelop a little: Blurt more,
touch more, be more lively, hold eye contact little longer than you normally
would.
So yes, this week's theme is an important one: Aliveness. And it feeds right
into all the previous themes. Think of everything you did before in the
previous weeks, and then go forth and push the envelope even more. Add
more "aliveness" to everything you say and everything you do.
- Be more animated
- Hold eye contact longer
- Touch her more
- Smile more
- Wink more
This week, we will give you some practical pointers that can help you turn up
the volume of YOU.
As you push the envelope in your interactions with women, you will start to
become aware of the age old rhythm of women and men. All meaningful
interactions have this dance... this ethereal quality. This you will learn, by
being mindful, and by blurting, and by acting no matter what. You will start
understanding the subtle concepts of what to say, how to look, how to stand,
how to touch...
Your body language will adapt itself as you become more at ease in the land
of women. Your touch will become just right, your eye contact just perfect,
and you will stand exactly where you need to be.
So focus on your intentions, gentlemen... explore (and proclaim!) your love
for women... push the envelope... be more alive and animated, and practice,
practice, practice - with ease and delight!
~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
Question:
What topic are you passionate about? What has heart and
meaning in your life? Describe underneath what you love about it.
file:///C|/Users/MAGEVE~1/AppData/Local/Temp/Adobe/Acrobat/10.0/A9RF32B.tmp.html[2-1-2013 18:21:17]
Aliveness
Tags: Push the envelop
Hans Comyn
Turn up the volume of YOU.



Apply
Hans Comyn
Exploring Aliveness
Go into your week and approach as many women as you can. Do the same
thing you did in the previous weeks, incorporating all the mission themes
from before. And this time, based on your understanding of what we mean
by Aliveness, add MORE ALIVENESS to your interactions. Listen to the voice
of your Saboteur, make choices about your perspectives, choose to listen to
your higher self, use your Curiosity, blurt, Invite and Celebrate her!
Do all of this with more Aliveness... animation, delight, and a sparkle in your
eye!
Focus only on your intentions... your genuine love and curiosity for women...
and practice pushing the envelope with the women you meet in everything
you say and do.
In other words:
- Use more hand gestures when you talk. Be more theatrical.
- When you are listening to her, listen consciously and use phrases like:
“That is incredible!’
“That is amazing!”
“Wow!”
- Touch more
- Explore the way you hold eye contact
- Focus on what your intention is
Explore your love for women with all the women you meet this week (find at
least 10), become more alive and push the envelope, without taking it too
serious - with ease and delight!
Only after pushing the envelope and through practice you will get the rhythm
and calibration. Only after pushing the envelope will you find your voice.
~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
Assignment
Question 1
How many women did you talk to?
Answer required
Question 2
Did you come closer to your authentic self, your voice, while
pushing the envelop and being more alive? What did you learn
about your authentic self and the way you put yourself forward in
this world? What is your voice?
Answer required
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Question 3
What would your recommend your brothers if they wanted to find
their authentic self, their voice? What can they do practically?
Answer required
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Pushing the envelope Authenticity
Hans Comyn
To push the envelope is the fastest way to find your voice, your authentic self, your
attractive self.


Aliveness
Ease and delight
Hans Comyn
Debrief Aliveness
To be alive is all about pushing the envelope, about taking that extra step
outside your comfort zone ... it is the only way to find YOUR voice, to find
better ways to express your authentic self, stress your attractive traits, and
give yourself fully to this world. It is your number one learning tool.
You have been given A LOT of elements to think about and apply in the past
weeks, and you may feel a little overwhelmed. That is ok. You do not need to
'get it' all now ... you do not even need to feel like you are controlling your
learning process. The information here will remain available to you.
Moreover - it is important to LET GO in every interaction. Let go of
everything you think you know ... everything you read here ... and just BE. Be
you, be more of you! Whenever you are interacting with a woman, let go of
everything you think you know, and turn up the volume you. Push the
envelop a little: Blurt more, touch more, be more lively, hold eye contact little
longer than you normally would.
As you push the envelope in your interactions with women, you will start to
become aware of the age old rhythm of women and men. All meaningful
interactions have this dance.. this ethereal quality. This you will learn, by
being mindful, and by blurting, and by acting no matter what. You will start
understanding the subtle concepts of what to say, how to look, how to stand,
how to touch...
Your body language will adapt itself as you become more at ease in the land
of women. Your touch will become just right, your eye contact just perfect,
and you will stand exactly where you need to be. You will find your voice -
the voice that is the best way to express your authentic self - your attractive
self:
So come alive!
~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata



No stages
Hans Comyn
No Stages
Watch this video ... it leads into our conversation of masculine edge - and the
steps that will take you from a charming man to a magnetic man.
Do you recognize this situation? Have you found yourself in
similar situations?
Have you ever wondered how to escalate from the friend to the
lover?
Stop hiding
Hans Comyn
Stop hiding your desires as a man. Your sexual nature should be the first thing
people see when you enter a room.


Masculine edge
Hans Comyn
A Lower Moving Energy
Watch this video.
It is the video that will open up a whole new world for most men.
Masculine edge cannot be underestimated, it is the number one thing most
men are hiding.
Yet it is hard to explain - put your input in the discussion to start
understanding the concept.
Masculine Edge
Zan Perrion
Tap into your lower moving energy.


Hans Comyn
Conspiracay
CONSPIRACY is probably the best way to describe and sum up how Zan
relates to women he desires. Everything he does with a woman is a
conspiracy.
This idea has vast implications that could be dealt with for another 90 days,
and it is not easy to implement, but once you start looking at your
relationships with women this way, you will start seeing and recognizing the
age-old rhythm - the dance between a man and a woman.
Most men have no clue that this almost parallel universe exists - and it is
right in front of us, we just need to decide to start looking for it.
Have you noticed instances of this in your past? Would you like to
start picking up more of those signals? Would you like to start
speaking the language of women? How much do you want it?
Masculine Edge
Zan Perrion
It is you and her against mediocrity.


Masculine Edge
Apply
Zan Perrion
Exploring Masculine Edge
Go into your week and let 10 women know that you desire them. Do
the same thing you did in the previous weeks, incorporating all the mission
themes from before. And also incorporate this new concept of Conspiracy -
smiling, winking, sub-communication - everything that makes up the
Masculine Edge of men.
And even though we are saying to let as many women as you can know you
desire them, you must do so with at least 10! And here is how we want you
to do it:
First of all, focus carefully on the intent behind the things you say. Empathy
is the number one thing to concentrate on. And never stray from the spirit of
humour and invitation and charm and delight as you practice adding in
masculine edge. Always make sure you show your genuine love and curiosity
for women.
For at least 5 of the 10 women, say this phrase exactly:
"... you should run away with me!"
For example, as an opening:
“Wow, I like your (dress|lipstick|hat|smile). You look fantastic... you should
run away with me!”
Or during the middle of the conversation:
"Wow, I have never met a girl from Hawaii before... I like it! You should
run away with me!"
Use your imagination, but include that phrase! And as you know already, do
not have any trace of seriousness in you at all. Smile and wink, like you are
just kidding. Put a sparkle in your eye.
Having fun, smiling, ... smile and wink.
Concentrate on the intent behind what you are saying. Don't look for any
result.
Ease and delight!
And for the other 5 girls of the 10, use your intuition and be a little more
sexual. With absolute kindness and respect, of course!
Say exactly this phrase:
"Look at you... you're a bad girl... I like it!"
For instance:
"Look at you in that incredible dress... wow... you're a bad girl... I like it!"
And lastly, if any of these ten women tells you that she has a boyfriend, do
not skip a beat! You must not change your facial expression or your body
language or your hand gestures or your smile at all.
Instead say this:
“Wow, does this mean we are going to have to be secret lovers? Wow... I
don't know..."
Smile, wink.
Remember, nothing but empathy...
~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
Assignment
Question 1
How many women did you give the gift of desiring them?
Answer required
Question 2
How did you show your desire? What did you say, what did you
do?
Answer required
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Question 3
How did that make you feel?
Answer required
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Question 4
How did she react?
Answer required
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Masculine Edge
Hans Comyn
Connect with your darker side.


Hans Comyn
Shoulder to Shoulder
Watch this video and ask yourself :
Do you see how this is different from all the other dating advice
that is out there, from everything you were ever taught about
relationships?
How is it different?


Hans Comyn
Debrief Masculine Edge
While the main part of this program is about becoming a charming man,
becoming aware of and displaying a lower moving energy is an essential
ingredient of an integrated man. It cannot be undersestimated and it is the
number one thing that most of us men are missing.
Your masculine edge, your sexual desire, or anything you feel passionate and
strong about is the element in you that will take you from being a charming
man to being a magnetic man. It is the ingredient that makes you a woman's
fantasy, and it should be the first thing in the room when you enter.
Having said that, masculine edge is very hard to explain. It is something you
will start recognizing and celebrating when interacting and relating to
women.
A good way to summarize how masculine edge shows up in your relationship
to women is CONSPIRACY. A man conspiring with a woman.
Conspiracy is symptomatic for your understanding for women. Decide to
start picking up signals from women and you will start seeing them. You will
start recognizing the rhytm and flow ... the dance ... the subcommunication.
Once you recognize that language, you can start speaking it. You can start
creating it. You can create conspiracy with your words ... but they are less
needed than you think. A look, a touch, or the mere projection of your
energy ...
Masculine edge is a very complicated and very personal part of your
attractive traits. You need to explore how it looks to you. Decide to become
aware of what masculine edge means to you. Decide also to explore how it
shows up in your relationship with women --- try to pick up on the
subcommunication of women and explore how you can create conspiracy
with her.
It is a life-long journey, but once you start seeing this, complete new worlds
open up - and they are wonderful!
~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
Question:
1. After a week sitting in the question of Masculine Edge, what
have you become aware of when it comes to fully accepting the
integrated you? What part of you were you hiding and you now
can say : no more!?
2. Also, what changes in YOUR relationship with women when you
become aware of the world of subcommunication, of conspiracy ...
?



Authenticity
Honesty
Hans Comyn
Honesty
Throughout this program, we have talked a lot about being direct, about
being honest and about creating a space in which you allow yourself to be
yourself, and for her to be herself and express herself. We stand tall as
champions, we are curious, we invite and we name whatever is in the air.
Still, honesty is a hazy, ambiguous concept - poorly understood and used far
too little. Maybe we can help your understanding of the concept (or add to
it's ambiguity) articulating it with the use of two fundamental truths we've
learned about women.
Firstly, rest assured... women can smell your agenda two hours against the
wind. She knows what you are up to. She smells your intentions as soon as
you start walking over to her. Women in general, and beautiful women
especially, have had years of training in this area - it takes a foolish man to
believe he can fool her and hide his agenda.
Moreover, a beautiful woman is so familiar and bored with men clumsily
trying to hide their intentions to her, that it feels like a relief to her when a
man stops doing that. Beautiful women find it refreshing when a man stops
masking his desires as a man.
It is in this sense, that "honesty is the greatest aphrodisiac", as Zan have
been saying for years. Women are rarely fooled, and they appreciate your
honesty, so stop hiding your agenda! A true lover "... never portrays
indifference or apathy in an attempt to sneak under the radar. Instead he
embraces his sexuality, presents it to her without presumption, is delighted if
she responds favourable but deeply respectful if she does not." (taken from
The Essence of Enlightened Seduction)
Does this mean you can, or even should, be blunt about you wanting to
"jump her"? No, it doesn't. Why? Because as Zan always says, "women are
complicit in their own seduction... they want to be seduced!".
We linked to Vicky Cristina Barcelona when the theme was Invitation. Find
the conversation between the 3 of them over a glass of red wine (you can see
part of it in the trailer). In that same scene, the blond girl says:
“I’ll go to your room, but you have to seduce me…” In other words, they like
for you to be honest about seducing her, but faced with bluntness, they will
have no choice but to say "no". Bluntness shortcuts the seduction - and with
seduction I mean courtship, i.e. the period between you two connecting and
ending up between the sheets, not the process of convincing her (there is no
such thing!) - and a woman needs that seduction to allow herself to say
"yes".
This link on the forum elaborates this issue:
http://www.naturalgame.com/showthread.php?t=1338
And here is another link: http://www.naturalgame.com/showthread.php?
t=4066
What we are saying is this: Honesty is not only about making your
intentions/agenda verbally explicit - sometimes is has more to do with not
hiding your intentions/agenda than it is about making your
intentions/agenda verbally explicit. Being verbally explicit is definitely part of
it but when you are clear about what you want to yourself and you are not
making excuses for it to yourself, communication to other is secondary and
almost automatic.
~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
Question:
How does YOUR HONESTY look like? Us men too often think
honesty is about being verbally explicit. If you start to understand
the language of women, can you see that 'honesty' entails much
more than being verbally explicit? How does your honesty relate to
your integrity, to your authenticity?
Authenticity
Honesty
Hans Comyn
Are you honest with yourself? Are you honest with her?


Authenticity
Hans Comyn
Vulnerability
Watch this video and ask yourself:
How can you show your vulnerability without having a "poor me"
attitude?
What is, according to you, key in doing the first without resorting
to the last?


Authenticity
Hans Comyn
Afraid
Tell a woman today about a time in your life you were most afraid.
Assignment
Question 1
Who did you tell? What was her reaction?
Answer required
Upload or Insert:


Authenticity
Hans Comyn
Afraid
Tell a woman today about a time in your life you were most afraid.
Assignment
Question 1
Who did you tell? What was her reaction?
Answer required
Upload or Insert:

Authenticity
View Comments (0) Comment
Hans Comyn
Intimacy
Your mission this weeks is at the same time very simple and very hard.
We want you to talk to women about the concept of intimacy.
Think about what intimacy means to you and talk about it with the women
you meet. Talk to at least 5 women about intimacy. Ask them what they
think it is, what it means to them, ... be completely curious about the
concept, about their ideas and what it means to you ...
If you can remain present and curious about the concept of intimacy and
what SHE thinks it is, you will probably learn a lot about how women look at
the world.
Discussion
Question 1
What were the definitions she gave, how is that different from your
concept of intimacy, what can you learn about that?
Answer required
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Authenticity
Hans Comyn
Tell a woman today about a time in your life when you were the most sad.


Authenticity
Hans Comyn
Debrief Authenticity
Authenticity, and your authentic desire is a concept that is very hard to
explain.
In fact, it cannot really be explained since it is a very personal issue. Nobody
can tell you how your authenticity looks. Nobody can tell you what your
authentic desire looks like. It is your authenticity, your honesty, your
vulnerability, your intimacy, ...
It all comes down to who you are today and what you want your life to look
like. Questions that need to be answered by YOU.
All we did this week was raise some issues, raise some questions, raise some
awareness to guide you along this journey towards YOUR AUTENTICITY.
And the journey does not stop today - the journey does not stop and the end
of this program - that journey never ends!
If there is one thing we want to affect you with it is our excitement to be on
this journey. It is probably the most important transformation you can go
through. It is probably the most important CHOICE you can make. As soon
as you embrace this journey with ease and delight you will have arrived. As
soon as you embrace this journey with ease and delight, every day of the rest
of your life will be a beautiful day.
And as long as you stay committed to this journey, we will be there for you.
Before we start the last week - is there something you would like to ask us? Is
there something you would like to ask me?
~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
Hans Comyn
Embrace the Question
The most important transformation you can go through is to transform from someone who
desperately tries to figure out the answers to his/her questions, to someone who embraces that very question. To someone who embraces the mystery, the
quest. Someone who embraces his/her journey.
"Who am I today and what do I want my life to look like? What is my passion? What is my authenticity? What is my integrity? What does it mean to be a
woman, to be a man? What kind of relationships do I want? How can I truly connect?"
The answers to the most important questions in your life are temporary; the questions themselves are eternal. You do not have to be fixated on finding the
answers; it is enough for you to sit in the questions. As soon as you do, you can relax in the knowledge that you are already aspiring to more excellence in
your life. As soon as you embrace the question, you can find ease and delight in your journey towards more excellence.
The only sense of arrival you will ever get is to know you are on the right track. There is no endpoint you need to rush at, and you do not need a plan to get
there. There is only a path to be followed, and the next step along that path unfolds before your eyes as soon as you embrace the question. As soon as you
decide to sit in the question, you are on that path. And as soon as you are on that path, you have arrived. The rest of your life will be an exciting journey, a
beautiful mystery.
Embrace the mystery, your quest, your journey. Embrace the question.
~ Hans Comyn




Purpose
Zan Perrion
Feedback
Gentlemen,
First of all, we want to thank you for participating in the Beta version of the
Ars Amorata ONLINE Program. Obviously, there is room for improvement,
but we are happy the first version ran this smooth. Your presence and
feedback has helped us a lot to improve the program, and we want to give
you another chance to give some feedback, answering these questions
underneath:
1. Are you satisfied with the value of this program? Was there too much? Was
there too little? How much time did you spend on a daily basis?
2. Are you satisfied with the content of the program? Were you expecting
something different? Would you do something different?
3. Are you satisfied with the system, the platform? Were you expecting
something different? Would you do something different.
4. Is there anything else you would like to add, say or ask that would help us
to improve this program?
Secondly, if you feel like you have benefitted in any way from the Ars
Amorata ONLINE Program, and you think more people should be included
in this conversation, than please go to our facebook page,
www.facebook.com/arsamorata and leave a testimonial there. Alternatively,
you can go to our forum, and leave your testimonial here:
http://www.naturalgame.com/showthread.php?t=7697
If you have done so already, thank you!
Finally, here are some other resources you can use on the journey you have
embarked on.
- You can subscribe to our newsletter on www.zanperrion.com – every couple
of weeks, you will receive a piece of advice and news from our ship.
- You can continue the conversation we had among each other and with the
Amorati on our forum: www.naturalgame.com.
-You can become a friend of the “Ars Amorata” page on Facebook, where you
can follow the Gypsy Caravan – www.facebook.com/arsamorata
and find out more about our Amorati network:
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?
note_id=140358111691&id=105365474264&ref=mf
That is it for now.
Remember that as long as you stay on this journey for more excellence, we
and the Amorati are here for you.
Talk soon!
Zan and Hans
ps if you have anymore questions, do not hesitate. Ask them here and we will
answer them for you.
One more thing ...
What is next for you?
You do not need to know the goal to hear the calling. Listen to the calling is
the most important thing. Listen to the calling and TAKE THE NEXT STEP.
What is your next step? What are you going to DO next?