Nulli Secondi (Flim Flam Brothers)

Well, look at what we’ve got here, partners of mine
It’s the same no matter where you park
People with outfits, hairstyles, and shoes that look like they’ve been put on in the dark
Maybe they’ve been left out of the knowledge we’ve accrued
That the answer to their problems has been realized and understood

Well, we’ve got everything you need
If it’s our advice you choose to heed
Auto-dresser, it’s the renowned TeCeNiCoMaMi
#1 fashion consultant, nulli secondi

(Nulli second-huh?)

Nulli secondi, that’s it, you see
The reason our solution’s the one you need
No denying dressers aren’t worth a dime in the mint
Yet the sense you see proves ours are in the highest percent
(That made no sense)
(And that matters why?)

And we’ve got everything you need
If it’s our advice you choose to heed
Auto-dresser, it’s the renowned TeCeNiCoMaMi
#1 fashion consultant, nulli secondi

(Now what do you think a marvel such as this would cost you?
Million dollars? Trillion dollars? Kill-a-man dollars?
Ha! As if! Try the low price of free……. Three hundred dollars, that is
See what I did there? I made a funny there. Just the quality you’ll expect from uso

I suppose by now you’re wondering about this crazy result of our moving devotion
(I say, a result of our locomotion)
I suppose by now you’re wondering, where is this clothing revolution
(Any genius can make a claim, yet any birdbrain can do the same)
But my partners and I have something so unique and insane
Never seen in this world of such regain
And that’s everything you need

Folks, it’s the one and only
The biggest and the best
The unforeseeable, unbelievable, indispensable, I-can’t-believable
TeCeNiCoMaMi, the sole answer to your fashion needs
(What do you say, everyone?)

Yes we’ve got everything you need
If it’s our advice you choose to heed
At the rate we‘re going, this could be quite a scam
TeCeNiCoMaMi, nulli secondi

(Now, captive audience, I know you weren’t expecting this musical number. In fact one might say it’s big-lipped alligator, but never the matter, I’ve prepared a demonstration to show you all the magic of this thing. Watch closely, everyone. The fun begins. Now, just imagine there’s a touch screen here with a camera right above. You have two options, you can choose your own clothes, or use the machine’s incomparable fashion knowledge. Yes, this box of bolts would put even Rarity to shame)

COME ON, MS. WILLIAMS’S CLASS! YOU KNOW JUST WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!

We’re saying we’ve got everything you need
If it’s our advice you choose to heed
Auto-dresser, it’s the renowned TeCeNiCoMaMi
#1 fashion consultant, nulli secondi

TAKE US HOME, BOYS!