Natural Born Derper Part 3 - Live Free or Derp Hard

Anon yawns and cricks his neck before turning back to Derpy, who’s ambling behind him. “Hurry up Derps, I wanna get these snacks and be back at my place watching movies before sun set.”
>Derpy warily picks up the pace and trots beside him, her eyes franticly scanning the stalls of the busy marketplace. “Do we really need the nachos? We could just make popcorn…”
Anon just shakes his head. “Movie night without nachos? Not in this lifetime. Plus Dinky loves Nachos! You want to deny her her most favourite treat?”
>Derpy frowns. “No...”
“Then come on, not like its gonna take us long, in and out of Cheesy Joes quick as a bluefast.”
 >“Alright alright.“ Relaxing, Derpy puts on a smile and starts humming along with a band of street performers, the violin player especially is quite good, her rhythm… almost hypnotic.
>The band seems to surround Derpy, playing their hardest as other ponies start dancing. There’s even a fire breather, dancing on his fore hooves and juggling torches.
Anon smiles, happy knowing his best friend is finally starting to calm down. “I’m a go hit up the store, you have fun with your street performers.” He tosses a bit into one off the performer’s upturned hats and strides off.
>Derpy starts whistling and swaying back and forth as the music continues to play. Her eyes start to droop as she watches the performers showing off their art to the fullest. Smiling dumbly, she notices Lyra, still playing the harp even with all those bandages…
>Coming to her senses, Derpy ducks as a violin bow flies overhead and imbeds itself into an empty stall behind her.
>Octavia curses and throws her straw hat to the ground in anger. “OI! Shiked it!”
>Derpy hops back to take a defensive stance but instead slips on a half melted vanilla sundae, long forgotten by some scatter brained filly.
>The rest of the sundae flings off her hoof, blinding the torch juggler and making him toss his torch into the air.
>Lyra gasps as she watches the torch come down, landing right into their band’s orchestral canon. Before she can stop it, the canon fires. Launching the still burning torch into the imported fireworks stall.
>The fireworks vendor hurls himself out of the stall as it explodes, sending fireworks sailing every which way.
>Octavia stands dumbstruck as one of the fireworks collides with a zeppelin’s balloon, causing it to burst into flame and veer downward, completely out of control.
>Derpy pushes herself back onto to her hooves and stares up confusedly at the flaming airship coming straight for them. “Wha…what?”
>With a furious crash, the zeppelin hits the marketplace.
>Derpy and the street performers all dive for cover as the airships cockpit and cargo hold noisily screech past them, knocking over and destroying pretty much any stall and building in it’s path.
>After the zeppelin comes to a halt, Derpy hops out of her cover to survey the damage. Half of the marketplace is nothing more then splinters and broken merchandise, the other half is on fire.
>As ponies rush all over making sure everyone is alright and trying their best to put out fires, Octavia  crawls over to Derpy who’s still sitting there completely awestruck. She puts out a hoof to Derpy “Crikey… you done put us through the ringer you did.” before collapsing.
>Derpy just stares down at her, eyes wide. “I.. I uh…” She whips around as she hears the loud crashing noise of hooves on metal.
>The “Thunk, thunk, thunk.“ is coming from the airship wreckage.
>With an angry roar, Bon Bon kicks open the stuck safety latch and stumbles outside. With one swollen eye closed, she spots Derpy and slowly pulls herself toward her.
>Derpy timidly steps back from the beaten, yet furious looking pony.
>Bonny winces as she gets right in Derpy’s face. “Should have known you would see right through our distraction… take us all out while we’re circling overhead to get the drop on you..” she turns away and coughs messily. “Shoulda… shoulda known…” Bonny makes one last push forward and hugs Derpy.
>Derpy just sits there, confusion written all over her face as Bonny continues “You’re a good mare Derpy.. you always were, and don’t you ever forget that.”
>With a painful groan, Bonny falls limply to the ground.
>Derpy meekly taps her hooves together and crosses her eyes as she takes in all the carnage. “Um…”
>Before she can give it much more though, a whistling sound like something being dropped from high altitude brings her attention upward. She dodges aside as a large wooden crate crashes beside her, barely missing the unconscious mares.
>Derpy questioningly inspects the wholly undamaged crate before noticing the tall slender figure with the flowing plasma like mane sitting atop it. Her eyes open wide and she stumbles backward onto her flank. “Princess Celestia?!”
>Celestia, laying almost seductively on the crate smiles and stares down at Derpy. “Hello little pony. I believe that you are in need… of a very important lesson.”
>Growling, Derpy takes a combative stance.
>Celestia just raises her head and laughs. “Oh no my little pony, you won’t be facing me..” she quietly taps the crate with her hoof.
>With a crash the crate bursts open and Applejack calmly trots on out. “Apple bucking season.”
>Derpy hops back and scrapes up some dirt with her back hoof before snorting aggressively.
Anon strides around the corner with a giant paper bag in his hands. “Hey Derps, there was a sale! They’re a little burnt but man, we’re gonna eat like slobs tonight!” He stops and looks at Derpy, then Applejack, then Celestia. “Yo Tia, yo Apples.”
>Applejack tips her hat. “Sugarcube.”
>“Hello Anon, how are you doing today.”
Anon shrugs. “Can’t complain. Its movie night and I’ve got tons of food.”
>“Watching anything good?”
“Couple of action flics, maybe a comedy for the kid. You want in?”
>“I’m a little busy right now but afterwards… we’ll see.”
“Cool.”
>Celestia turns back to Derpy “This will not be like one of your regular battles… I won’t let you just overpower her with your intense cunning or raw combative skills…”
>Derpy glares as Celestia pulls out a old haggard looking staff. She raises the staff above her head and screeches. “LET MY MONSTER! GROWWWWWWWWW!”
>Derpy rushes backwards as a orangish glow envelopes Applejack. Applejack just “He Haws” as she begins to grow, slow at first but more rapidly with every passing second. Stalls, building and wagons are thrown aside or just plain crushed as she stands, fully formed at almost 50ft tall.
>Derpy cowers under Applejacks mighty shadow. “I.. I can’t…”
Anon strides up and places his hand on her head. “Yes you can Derps.”
>Derpy stares up at him, eyes wide. “No.. no I..”
Anon just shushes her. “Now I have no idea what’s going on but, I set out today to get nachos… and cheese to have a good time with my bestest pal and I know for a fact… that she would never let something so trivial as a giant orange redneck get between her and movie night.”
>Derpy, eyes resolute, nods. With pure force of will, she starts to grow before Anon’s eyes.
>Celestia, sipping on some soda, trots up beside Anon. “Woof, did not see that one coming.”
>They both step back as Derpy, fully grown, stomps her hooves against her chest and roars like some terrifying monster out of an old horror movie. Her wings slowly flap, buffeting everyone and everything around her with harsh angry winds.
>Applejack nods, tips her hat and takes up a fighting stance. “Apple fritter.”
>As the two charge and crash into each other, Anon and Celestia calmly watch from below, sitting in some very comfortable lawn chairs.
>Celestia magicly chucks Anon a soda. “So movie night huh? Any rom-coms?”
Anon glowers. “Rom-coms?! Come on..”
>“They’re not all bad Anon, you should give them a chance.”
He crosses his arms and shakes his head. “Newp..”
>“I’ll pitch in for soda…”
“What kind?”
>Celestia turns away and mumbles. “Roya crown…”
“What was that?”
>“The good stuff of course.”
>They both cover their eyes as Derpy screams out a massively bright white laser, narrowly missing Applejack and turning a mountain in the distance into so much scorched rubble.
>Celestia whistles sharply. “That mare is full of surprises…”
“Ha, you don’t know the half of it..”
>“Oh?”
Anon watches as Derpy flies into the air and grabs her hind legs preparing for a full on iron plot drop. “Tell ya later, right now we need to get behind cover!”
>With an earth shattering crash, Derpy lands, catching Applejack completely by surprise.

Celestia and Anon step through the rubble that was once a full bustling town. “Jeese… how long is this gonna take to fix?”
>Celestia just shrugs. “Couple of days.”
“Really?!”
>Nodding, Celestia points forward at Derpy and Applejack, laying atop each other, normal size, at the center of the destruction. “This happens all the time, our construction workers have grown exceedingly good at rebuilding.”
“Guess that makes sense.”
>Celestia pokes Derpy and Applejack, waking them up. “Hey, good work out there, for your incredible victory against all odds...” She thinks for a minute. “You can be the new element of honesty.”
>Derpy hops up all smiles while Applejack throws down her hat and stomps on it. “Horse apples!”
“Won’t that mess up the balance? You know, two unicorns, two pegasus and two earth pones?”
>Celestia ponders. “Well Twilight already messed that formula right up but… I see your point. Alright Derpy, you are now the element of whatever Dash is, or was anyway.”
>Derpy hops up on Anon’s head and triumphantly yells out a solid “Wooo hoooo!”
>Then they all went back to Anon’s place and watched movies, Dinky got her nachos and Celestia suckered them into watching a rom-com, Anon fell asleep halfway through. Fun was had by all.
>The end.