Thread 12: Stories 61-75

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>Two
"SA"
'???'
[???]


"Ok... These three proposals need sent out... and this one NEEDS to be denied..."

>Shiiiny~

"Two? I thought you were coloring?"

>Yep.

"...Ok... So why are you here?"

>I want some more Marshmallys!

"You've already had a bag today, you'll ruin your appetite."

*wibble*

"Nope, if I can't see it it doesn't work."

*Thump*

Shining opened his eyes to see her sitting on his desk.

"...Two?"

>Marshmalleys.

"No, you'll make yourself sick."

>Please?

"I'm happy that you asked politely... but the answer is still no."

>Shiny, I'm going to count to three.

"..."

>One...

"..."

>...Blue...

"...!?"

>Three... MESSING UP SHIIINYS PAPERS!

"TWO NO!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[My Queen, are you ok? Your crying!]

'I don't know why 18... but I'm suddenly filled with... Liquid Pride.'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>AJ2
"Discord"
~~~~

>Ooooooh~ I'm AJ2! And I'm never feelin' blue, AJ2! My hugs give you the happy flu, AJ2! Don't you want to hug me tooooo? AJ2!

*MOOB!*

"Brava! Brava! Oh, what a wonderful song you sing!"

>Thankee Mr Dislord!

"Discord my dear, as in a lack of agreement or harmony. But yes, I am indeed the lord, the lord of all Chaos!"

>Wha'cha lookin' for?

He snapped his fingers, and a set of cards popped up.

"Oh, I was just wondering if you had seen any of these, my dear?"

>Auntie Fluttershy?... What's she wearing?

"It's important my dear, please focus?"

>....Mmmm...Nope! Auntie Shy hasn't been around fer' a bit. Neither have you. I can tell cause Not-Mom hasn't locked herself in her room for a while.

"Oh my, what a shame."

>Ahhhh, sorry Mister Discord, ya' need a hug?

"No thank you."

There was a long, long silence.

>I'mma hug you.

His eyebrow cocked, and suddenly his skin became akin to a cactus.

"Is that right?"

>Ya-huh, gonna hug you.

"No you aren't."

>But first Ah'mma tickle you.

He broke into loud, explosive laughter.

"Oh my, and just how are you going to do that? My skin is so cold and gray!"

She payed no mind to his body shifting into concrete, and simply reared back.

Her forelegs seemed to vanish as they struck forward, again and again and again.

>AAAAAAAATICKATICKATICKATICKATICKATICKATICKAAA

He never stood a chance.

"HAHAHAHHAHEEEY! HEY STOAHAHAHASTOHAHAHOWAREYOUAAHAHAHAHAHAHHa~"

>TICKATICKATICKA-TICKHAAAAA!

She flew right to his face

>YOU ARE ALREADY HUGGED!

He could only blink owlishly as she locked eyes with him, the breath coming back into his lungs.

"...W-wha-"

And then immediately leaving as something constricted against his chest. Eventually, he pulled his eyes away from her gaze, and looked down....

And was suddenly greeted with the sight of the top of 2's head, her face nuzzling against his chest.

"...Huh."

>Hugs make everything better!

He just shrugged, and returned the gesture.

"...Got me there, I guess."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Spike, Diamond Tiara, 77, and 42 were gathered around one of the larger monitors in Twilight’s laboratory, the screen displaying a de-alicorned Twilight Sparkle in her Valkyrie Skirt and PotatoJack in her 3D Maneuvering Gear, each standing at opposite ends of a rooftop garden atop a massive skyscrapper, surrounded by many more like it.

“Ready, Potato Mare?” Twilight asked after dismissing a book on proper dueling etiquette.

Her answer was to reach into the pockets of her coat, take out a loaf of bread, and stick it in her mouth.

“Well, are you ready or not?” Twilight asked again. “You know, you’re not following the proper code of conduct for a duel, you know that right?”

PotatoJack then pulled out a small, checkered blanket and spread it on the ground, setting down cheese, jerky, crackers, some potatoes, and another loaf of bread in a small picnic.

Now Twilight was annoyed. “Stop ignoring me!” She shouts and leaps high into the air with the air of her additional metal limbs, PotatoJack watched this with seeming disinterest before returning to her picnic.

At the peak of her upward acceleration, Twilight’s horn flared and she vanished mid-leap appearing upside down, a hundred feet above PotatoJack, blades ready and already at terminal velocity. And half-way to reaching PotatoJack, she looked up at her descending opponent, casually reached to the devices of her Maneuvering gear and fired one of the grappling hooks at Twilight who took the entire force of the impact, right in her face.

Knocked off course, Twilight spiraled and crashed into the garden’s undergrowth while PotatoJack went back to her picnic.

“Ohh…” The Gun Club commented together while watching.

“Well, think that’s it for the Princess?” 42 asked, reaching for the external control panel to wrap the match up.

Before she could, Twilight appeared in a flash right behind PotatoJack on the rooftop and slashed wildly at her opponent, forcing PJ to abandon her virtual meal. Making quick use of the grappling line, PotatoJack fires out the cable to clamp onto distant part of the roof and pull herself away as Twilight continue to advance and slash with wild abandon, the razor bladed limbs cutting deep into the roof.

“Twilight lost her sense of strategy pretty quick, huh?” Diamond Tiara commented from the lab while watching Twilight chase PotatoJack across the rooftop garden.

Spike shook his head. “Don’t be too sure. PotatoJack has a huge advantage in the fact that her Maneuvering gear can be used as a ranged attack, as you saw. But she has to keep it as a surprise attack or Twilight can just cut the cable. Otherwise, she’d have to use her environment.”

Within the duel, the spectators watch Potatojack use her maneuvering cables to grab some loose rocks and fling them at Twilight who simply cuts them down.

“But PJ’s able to move faster than Twilight while she’s swinging wildly like that.” DT protested when 42 spoke up.

“She can’t…”

Within the simulation, PotatoJack abandoned the roof entirely to cling to the wall of another nearby skyscrapper.

“But Twilight can create a means of ranged attack”

PJ turns to look back on the roof in time to see Twilight levitate all the debris she had created from cutting the roof to pieces.

“Even without being an alicorn, Twilight is still a powerful unicorn.”

PotatoJack was forced into evasive maneuvers as Twilight launched the hailstorm of rocks at her.

Thinking quickly, PotatoJack kicked off the wall and towards the onslaught, targetting the largest pieces of debris to form a path, she began throwing out her lines and moving from one projectile to the next, and watched Twilight’s face become more and more disbelieving until PJ was on top of her. In a hiss of gasses, she landed behind Twilight and launched the grappling hooks to latch around Twilight’s hindlegs and begin reeling her in as PJ drew out her swords.

In as panicked reflex, Twilight vanished in a flash of magic to escape grappling hooks only to reappear in the same spot, now free and facing PotatoJack. Twilight took the immediate opportunity to charge head on against her opponent who responded in kind by sending out a cable well out of Twilight’s reach and using it to slingshot herself forward faster than Twilight could run.

The moment after she had leapt to meet PJ in the air, though, Twilight vanished once again to reappear beneath her opponent, all four blade crossed to prepare for a massive slash. PotatoJack blocked the attack but her own blades were destroyed. Using quick reflexes she seized hold of another nearby building and retreated to higher ground. But as she sped towards her anchor point, Twilight appeared in a flash and quickly slashed the cable, sending PJ into a plummet.

“Bye bye.” Twilight waved happily while her Valkyrie Skirt and magic kept her secure to the building. She then looked around as though waiting for an announcement to her victory. “Well? I won, didn’t it aieee!” Twilight screamed when she felt something dislodge her from her place on the skyscrapper wall. As she looked up while in freefall, she could see PotatoJack smiling and waving down at her, apparently having used her remaining grappling hook to have gone all the way around the back of the building for her sneak attack, and now, she was ascending to a new rooftop.

Growling, Twilight focuses her magic and reverses gravity’s influence.

“Going up!”

With a quick teleport, she was against the side of the building and sunk her valkyrie skirt into it to slow her ‘ascent’ to the roof’s edge, and just as she was able to peek over, PotatoJack swung towards her, spare blade drawn and ready to swing while Twilight removed one blade of the valkyrie skirt and prepared to counter.

The two combatants clashed in mid-air, PotatoJack landing on one rooftop and Twilight swinging herself over to another as gravity was restored.

A few seconds later, Potatojack’s head rolled from her shoulders and her body slumped into a heap while Twilight’s chest split open in a spray of blood.

“Mutual KO!” Spike’s voice announced and the simulation faded around the pair, PJ’s head still on her shoulders and Twilight not eviscerated, both both now rolling on the ground in pain.

“I thought decapitation was supposed to be painless!” PJ cried, clutching her neck and head.

“And an attack like that’s supposed to go too deep for the pain nerves! Argh! It hurts!” Twilight complained.

Both were stopped by the applause of the Gun Club.

“Well, that was an impressive fight, you two, you showed a great deal of intelligence, strategy, resourcefulness, combat prowess, and arms talent.” Spike congratulated.

“PotatoJack, the rest of the Gun Club’s come to a decision, and we’d like to offer you full access to our resources for you to be able to upgrade your Maneuvering gear.” 77 said with a proud smile.

“You’ve done the hive proud today.” 42 added with a nod while PJ began to squee.

Spike then walked over and helped Twilight to her hooves. “As for you, welcome to the Gun Club, Twilight.”

Twilight practically glomped Spike while shouting “Thank you!” over and over.

Gun Club Tournament Round 1: Twilight Versus PotatoJack: Draw!

ADDITIONAL NOTES

I'm glad you all enjoyed it, and now to bask in my ego a bit, here's some small notes about the story:

>I originally imagined PJ taunting Twilight in a manner similar to Spider-Man only much crueler (i.e. tells Twilight she "only was made a princess for munching Celestia's Carpet", asks if Twilight feels jealous that Cadence can publically love Shiny, etc.) but while I am trying to give PJ some distinction from Sasha, I thought that this sort of thing was too cruel for her character. And thus we ended up with the much more subtle taunt of her 'ignoring' Twilight at first.

>I knew I would end this fight in a draw from the beginning, both to avoid disrupting the flow of the rest of the tournament (even if a Twilight vs. Spike could have been interesting) and because I didn't want PJ to be SO AWESOME SHE BEAT UP TWILIGHT! and let Twilight demonstrate her own worth to the Gun Club.

>Twilight's Valkyrie Skirt actually operates on both inate and active magical energies, which was why she didn't use her magic quite as much as she might have, plus she wanted to demonstrate the Valkyrie skirt more. I just didn't get a chance to work in this explanation.

>Also, the image posted shows what the Valkyrie Skirt looks like. (At least on a non-pony)
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>MM
"29"
~~~

The door to the apartment opened with a slow, steady creak.

>Twenty niiiine? Buddy? I came over here to check on you. You okay?

There he was, sitting at the table in the middle of his kitchen, a single light hanging over him providing illumination for the table, and nothing else.

"It's my day off."

>Oh, I know. I'm not here because you're late or anything. Heh, like I would have any room to talk there, right?

"Hrm."

>It's just... you've been acting weird.

"Sorry if my cultured manner of speech and intellectual stimulation is 'weird' to you."

>No no, it's not that. I actually like how you talk, it's sexy. It's, um... it's the other stuff.

"What 'other stuff'?"

>Well, let's start with the obvious. The cereal.

"I like cereal."

>You aren't eating it, it's slightly off to the side.

"...Is this really all about my dietary habits?"

>No, it's, um... it's also about this.

She flicked on the light on, revealing... chaos.

Chairs were spinning, toys were floating in the air, cushions were stacked up into make-shift forts, and there was yet another hole in the ceiling.

"...That hole was actually caused by 56."

>...

"...Anything else?"

>Niney, really, we need to get rid of these-

"No."

>...

"...I'm fine. Really. They don't bother me."

>They clearly do, you look like you're about to eat your table. Being hounded by demons is not-

"THEY AREN'T... Mhm... they aren't demons. Well, sort of. They came from Cheerilee's place, but... they're just little kids, MM, they have nowhere else to go."

>Oh, honey...

"I'll be fine-YOU GET DOWN FROM THERE!"

The top of his bookshelf rattled.

"Maybe instead of using it like a jungle gym you could actually READ one of them! There's a thought!"

>...I'm calling Zecora.

"NO! NOT HER! I NEED MY MONEY!"

>...Neighgerian Princess scam?

"EVERY TIME!"
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>SA
"Chrysalis"
'Cadence'
-18-
[42]
{Celestia}
~~~~~

>Huh.

"What the hell is this shit?"

'And I thought the subtitle thing was hard to follow!'

-I'm all for appreciating the classics, buuuut....-

[This rag-time music is going to drive me up a wall.]

{Hey! I will have you know this was the PINNACLE of popular back in the day! Ponies lined up around the corner for MILES to be able to watch this!}

"Pfft, no wonder I can see dust coming off that projector."

{It adds texture to it.}

'Well, glad there's something besides black and white blobs.'

{The lack of color just makes you use your imagination more!}

-I'm imagining a pony who can tell all these characters apart. They are a sad, sad pony.-

{You just have to pay attention more!}

[I'm paying attention to all the times I've seen that guys wig roll off, does that count?]

{It's rough edges give it charm!}

>I like it, nopony does classic slapstick anymore.

"And Shiny rushes to her side, what a shocker."

>Just saying, I think it's funny. HAH! Pie to the face! Love it!

{See? He appreciates it.}

-...*Snk* okay, that was funny.-

[Ouch, were these stunts all real?]

[Totally!... Several of them almost died, actually.]

"HAH! Now THAT is funny!"

'Hehe! His mustache fell off!'

-Uh oh, there's a mousetrap!-

[OOOOH!]

{Couldn't walk for a month after shooting that.}

"HAH!"

>See? Told you. HAH! RIGHT IN THE FACE!

"Whiiiiped!"

>Nope, I just... appreciate the classics. New stuff is great too, don't get me wrong, but some things are just... timeless.

{Awww..}

"OH SHIT, IS HE GONNA..."

...

>"'-[{OHHHHHH!}]-'"

{I actually- I mean, THEY actually got sued over that one.}

>..
".."
'..'
-..-
[..]

{...Shut up.}
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>random Changeling 1
[random changeling 2]
-----------------------
[What's got you over here in the crying corner?]

>There's a hole in the wall over there

[Yes, and?]

>I'm scared of holes

[...]

>What? It's a legitimate fear.

[We're changelings, there's holes all over us.]

>...

[Oh, no. Why are you looking all freaked out? Just calm down]

>Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

[Here, here. Wait here a moment. I know how to fix this.] *runs off*

>*sobs*

[I'm back, Here, AJ2 taught me this. shove these marshmallows in your holes. Better?]

>A little bit, but you still got holes.

[There, marshmallows are in my holes now too. Can we head back]

>sure
------------
*a moment later

>Hey everybody, I'm ba.... Oh god, holes everywhere *runs back to the crying corner

[Today's going to be a long day]
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>SA
"Chrysalis"
'???'
[???]
~~

>Just to double check, you DO remember what happened last time, right?

"Ah hah! But you see, I have thought ahead. I have brought with me, THIS!"

>And that is?

"This, dear Shiny, is an artificial gill! With it, I can breath underwater!"

>That's not water, it's-

"CANNON BALL!"

~~~~~

>BREATH DAMN IT, BREATH!

*HACKGACKGLURGLGAAAAASP!* "I *KAFF!* I REGRET NOTHING!... *kak!* W-what? No mouth to mouth this time?"

>So, what have we learned?

"*KAK!* Jello is not, NOT water! And gills do not work in a massive pool of it."

>Very good...What the fu-

'CANNON BAAAAAALLLLL!'

~~~~~

>BREATH DAMN IT, BREATH!

"Oh, come on! Why does SHE get mouth to mouth!?"

>WIFE!

"So?"

>SO, I just need to get the jello out of her lungs, and her immortality magic will do the rest. YOU needed to hack it up on your own!

"This is discriminatory, that's what this is."

>Breath, baby, BREATH!

*GLRGLGLRLGKAK!* '*HRRk!* T-that... that was SO FUN!' ...Looked like water, though.'

>Green, wiggling water.

'It looks like a 32, actually.'

>Fine, moss green, whatever.

'I'm going next!'

>...Next? Next after who-

[CANNON BAAAAAALLLLLL!]

~~~~~

>BREATH DAMN IT, BREATH!

"Oh, now this is just bullshit."

'What for?'

"He didn't give ME mouth to mouth!"

'Well, you don't have Alicorn immortality, why would he?'

"Still bullshit. Next time I can't breath, I better be tasting what he had for breakfast next."

'...Can't you make an airhole-'

"QUIET YOU!"

*HACKGURLGLGLGLGLGUUURHACK* [...*KAK!* Dear Prince Shining Armor, that was so awesome.]

>Was it really, Celly? Was it really?

[Yes... by the way, Chrysalis?]

"What?"

[I think it was blueberry waffles.]

"SCREW YOU!"

>So, anyway, you all learned your lesson, right?

"..."
'...'
[...]

[""CANNON BAAAAAALLLLLL!"']

>...Why do I even bother?
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>Dadling
"77"
~~~

>Mrmmsmmsm....

"...Are you... alright?"

>Fruggatwoinshamornin.

"Yes, it is two in the morning. Which is why you walking through the streets carrying a bag is suspicious. You see my problem right?"

>Ish too damn early fer' thish.

"For what?"

>She wansh her damn ice cream and strawberry sprinkles.

"...You're buying ice cream at two in the morning."

>Mmmnmhmmm...

"I thought the pregnancy cravings weren't going to come until later?"

>...The what?
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The module that controlled the simulation rooms interior was set to random, a predetermined failsafe to eliminate any chance of preparing or gaining the upper hoof.

So it was only mildly shocking to 42 when she and 77 stepped through the door and found themselves walking out of the shop known as Sugarcube Corner. Overhead, Celestia’s artificial sun beat a wave of warmth everywhere with surprising realism while behind them, the scent of delicious confectionaries had them wondering whether they were truly in just a simulation.

“Hm. Technology has progressed impressively since my time underground,” 77 remarked with a quaint chuckle, glancing about.

The lack of apprehension in his voice caused 42’s ear to flicker and her heart to jump. He sounded beyond at peace, like this was nothing more than a field test….

She shook her head as the door closed behind them. Psychological warfare was a staple in any fighter’s repertoire. Just because he was very definition of calm on the outside didn’t mean he wasn’t anxious on the inside.

With a steadying sigh, she killed the part of herself that liked Shiny, that secretly adored Two’s hugs, that hounded for waffles like they were going out of fashion… she stored all of that away until later, bringing back the Changeling of command, the one who led the Royal Guards, who constantly and unmercifully kicked Shiny’s ass so long ago.

She was the best damn Changeling warrior ever spawned and by the queen, she was going to prove it today.

“Yooooo hoooo!”

Both Changelings looked up to see a number of people gathered atop Sugarcube Corner to watch their fight: Spike, DT, PotatoJack, their newest member Twilight, and… Chrysalis? She was the one who had yelled and was excitedly waving a hoof.

42 blinked. “My Queen… what’re you doing here?”

“Oh what, you thought I’d miss a chance to see this? A clash between two of my finest manors?”

“Minions,” Twilight whispered under her breath.

“Whatever! Point is, I’m here to see a show!” And she looked it as she spread out over the tiles, tail swishing lazily. Then her eyes narrowed and a sinister grin split her lips. “So do make it interesting.”

77 frowned. “Are you all quite sure you wish to be in the actual simulation while we fight? I’m not really going to pull my punches here.”

42 winced internally.

A purple hue overtook Twilight’s horn and she smiled proudly. “Get as rough as you need to. I’ve got the roof under my protection,” she assured and PotatoJack nodded, her mouth stuffed with two spuds.

“Mmph ngh pfffhm!”

There was no way in hell either 42 or 77 understood her message but Spike obviously did because he laughed, cupping his mouth to yell out, “She says she always wanted to see what color the two of you bled!”

~~~~~~

Twilight glanced between the appropriately distanced Changelings. On the left, 42 stood stock-still, alert, while on the right, 77 was idly watching a virtual butterfly as it perched on the tip of his bone knife.

“42, are you ready?” she called.

“Aye.”

“77, are you ready?”

“As ever, dear.”

“Alright then! FIGHT!”

The virtual butterfly was torn in two with the speed 77 used to rocket forward, the distance between him and 42 closed in the blink of an eye.

“Holy sh-” Spike exclaimed.

42’s gaze seemed to move in slow-motion as 77 skidded to a halt before her. He offered the stunned Changeling a quaint smile as he uttered, “This battle is mine,” and drove his bone knife deep into her midsection with a horrible squelching noise.


“What in the hell…?” DT lifted a hoof to her eyes to block out the sun. “Am I seeing right? Did he just… 42’s out already? That was quick as shit!”

Chrysalis sported a fanged grin. “Oh, I wouldn’t count my darling 43 out juuuust yet.”

Spike faceclawed. “You mean 42.”

“…shut up.”

Back on the streets, 42 could feel her heart starting back up again and relished in the subtle look of confusion that dawned over 77’s face when he saw that he hadn’t stabbed her, but her legendary Helmet of Helmets. At the very last second, she’d snatched the helmet from her head and held it out, catching the knife right before it pierced her.

“…your reflexes are admirable,” he conceded, tugging his weapon free from the metal.

“I’m not the best for nothing.”

He chuckled. “The best? Well, let’s see about that, shall we?”

The benignity of his tone failed to distract when he struck out again, aiming for her jugular, but 42 sidestepped, grunting when she felt the smallest of cuts split her chitin. She swung a hard right that 77 blocked with a forearm yet the impact caused the ground beneath them to crack. But wheels were turning and both combatants ignored it as a deadly bout of CQC began, with blocked punches that caused the very air to fizzle and misaimed stomps that would signal a quick victory if they connected.

“AGH!” 42 was no stranger to pain but even she saw stars when 77 ducked her roundhouse and slammed his backhoof into her side. She suddenly didn’t know which way was up or down in her flight until she crashed through the window of some shop and thudded over the hardwood floor. Quick as a cheetah, 77 was climbing through the hole she’d made, twirling his weapon around a hoof.

“That looked rather painful, 42. Are you alright?” he asked, clearly waiting for her to stand.

Her entire being roared with pain but she’d be damned if she admitted it, much less answer that condescending question. One glance of her surroundings spoke of a hoof store and she forced a grin, ignoring the line of scarlet liquid trickling down between her eyes.

Out on the rooftop, Twilight winced. “Did you see the way he kicked her into that building? That looked painful… maybe we should-”

“It’s a simulation, Twi’, calm down,” Spike interrupted, sitting with his legs over the edge. “Besides, as her student, I can tell you that 42 hasn’t even begun to fight….”

Like a summons to his words, the door to the hoof shop was blown off its hinges and sent sailing across the lane as two Changelings leapt from the confines, a series of ear-splitting clangs parading the air. 42 had fastened a pair of brass shoes over her hooves and was using them to deflect each of 77’s swings, a shower of sparks igniting with each clash. Not even the Chimera’s she fought weekly gave her this much of a problem but as she was forced into a defensive stance she saw that 77 was hardly breaking a sweat, stepping into her guard time and time again.

But then again, that made sense. This was a veteran Changeling who had spent an untold amount of time running from creations unmentionable and defending his life. He’d basically been baptized in the fires of war. And what was she…? The superior of an ex-Royal Guard with foalish combat skills.

Blood spurted into the air when 77’s knife pierced through a spot just between her neck and shoulder. Being a simulation hadn’t dulled a single nerve receptor and 42 felt her mouth stretch past normal limits in a howl of agony, one so sharp that it caused their spectators to blanch in unison. In the same stroke, 77 snatched his weapon free of her chitin and flicked it at the ground to clear the blood.

He’d only parted his lips when 42 struck like lightning, ramming one of her weaponized hooves into his muzzle with such force that he spun and staggered back.

“D-don’t… ask if I’m f-fine,” she growled out through her pants, clutching at her wound.

A few trickles of blood oozed over 77’s bottom lip and he spat a chipped piece of fang. He stared at it in silence for a moment, then, “For a simulation, this pain is surprisingly accura-”

42 dove before he could finish, forcing the seasoned Changeling to switch up his fighting style on the fly as she threw out a variety of high and low blows. They’d stepped into the veranda of an eatery, clashing over tables and chucking chairs like they were rocks. 77 had just ducked a pitcher of lemonade when 42 tackled him outright, sending them both barreling through another window. 77 was only on his back for two seconds when he kicked out, sending her right back through the broken pane; he launched himself after her, rearing back his knife for a downward stab when she parried with the metal shoe, backhoofing him to the ground beside her. She scrambled to her hooves and attempted to stomp his head in when he rolled away, flipping upright.

“Damn. Those two are something else,” DT uttered as 42 performed a backflip that not only evaded 77’s downward slice but struck him upside the chin with her back leg. “They just… keep going.”

“This kind of stuff is better than going to the movies.” Chrysalis had her hoof in a virtual bag of popcorn, chewing with earnest while her subordinates clashed in a sea of sparks. “I’d call it fate that those two got paired. 42 is an excellent all around fighter, while 77 is just outright deadly, ha! It’s really sad how obvious it is who’s going to win.”

Spike scowled. “Don’t count her out just yet….”

Down in a battlefield that glittered with blood, 42 chucked her helmet at 77, taking advantage of when he reared up to knock it aside to rush in and elbow his chest. It was a blow that everyone felt on a physical level yet 77 was hardly moved an inch, his back legs firmly planted.

“Go DOWN!” 42 yelled before she could help it.

He responded by coughing blood in her face—“AGH!”—and then rammed his knee into her gut. The light in her eyes faded and she folded like a chair around his leg but he gripped her tight by the throat, keeping her limp body aloft.

“This was a good fight, r-really got me working,” he wheezed, pushed nearly to the brink as he lifted his bone knife in a trembling hoof. “Though unfortunately… you’re still not the best, poppet.”

And he stabbed forward, aiming for her temple, but 42 instinctually opened her mouth, catching the sharp blade between her teeth. Even with all his might behind that jab, she managed to stop it cold just as the point prodded the back of her throat. The pain of having her tongue lacerated was lost to adrenaline and she knocked his grip from the weapon, spitting it into her own hoof.

In the instant before it happened, 77 could only smirk, as did Chrysalis when 42 performed a graceful pirouette, slashing a jagged line through 77’s throat with his own weapon.

As blood spurted from the wound and 77 dropped to his knees, 42 stayed facing forward, refusing to move until she heard that dull thump from behind. Then she spun and beheld her opponent on the ground.

“Ha… hahaha… I did it… I’m the beh….”

She fell out right next to 77.

“THE WINNER IS 42!” Twilight announced, and the simulation died with a soft whirring noise.

Ponyville vanished, as did the blood, the wounds, the sunlight, everything. Except for the pain, which nearly caused 42 to bite her tongue off. She still managed to laugh victoriously when Spike came running up to give her a helping claw.

“42…” He looked utterly stunned, not quite sure what to say, but then settled on throwing his arms around her. “That was fantastic!”

“Indeed it was,” agreed 77, already standing and brushing himself off. He sauntered over to 42 and extended a hoof, one that she gladly took. “A very good fight, poppet.”

There was no hiding the smile on 42’s face. She didn’t even try. “Same to you, 77.”

DT could only stare before throwing her hooves up and walking out, ranting about unfairness and Changeling cheats.

“Well, guess we’d better go get set for the next round,” said Twilight and they all filed out after the filly in a cloud of excited chatter. Everyone except Chrysalis and 77.

The queen regarded her servant with narrowed eyes, glancing him up and down. “So what’s your reason?” she suddenly asked.

He knew exactly what she was talking about. “My reason is that there is no better Changeling better suited to protecting her majesty than AJ42.”

“HA! Hahahaha! Whatever you say, 77.”
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Applejack
"Fluttershy"
{Discord}
~~~~

>So, wait, it wasn't ya'll-

"I thought we promised not to talk about this? At the Gala? Remember?... Please?"

>Wow, ya'll are turnin' red. But really, Discord? Ya'll are pretty low.

{I didn't do it! Mostly.}

>Jus' meant you and that one whippy Fluttershy.

{...What?}

>...Ya'll weren't in the closet with her, were ya'?

{Doing...}

>...Candle wax stuff, apparently.

"...And at NO point did you think, 'hey! That's not like her!'"

>...

"...S-sorry! I didn't mean it like that! Oh, don't be mad, please, I just-"

>Naw, it's fine. Honestly, Ah' just thought ya'll coped with being an alicorn in a weird way. Weren't none o' mah business.

{...Wait, back up, you saw one of ME with her?}

>Well, AH' didn't, but what Ah' heard was...

"..."

{...Shit.}
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SA
"Chrysalis"
~~~~

>...Are you going to show me the power or not?

"Hold on! It's... *SNIIIIFFFF*.. hrmmmm... O positive!"

>...Oh, you're positive of what?

"No! O positive! That's your blood type! I think... might be AB negative. They're pretty close."

>You can smell my blood type?

"Yep! Was real useful for my second aunt fourteen times removed."

>...

"...I don't know what that means either, that's just what mom called her. Anyway, Auntie Culicidae just LOOOOVED to sap blood to get the love straight from the source, the heart! Oh, she would sap a victim for a long time, enjoying herself. Allegedly. Never saw it myself."

>And now I wish to barf. Dead?

"All dead. Caught some kind of disease or something, and nobody has any idea how."

>It's truly one of our worlds greatest unsolved mysteries. So, you don't do the blood sucking thing, right?

"Ew, no. I never even learned the technique to make the long straw come out of your mouth to do it."

>Straw?

"Kind of looks like a giant stick and it comes right out of the back of her throat."

>Ew.

"Indeed. No, I'm not one for drinking blood, but I AM all for drinking fluids from a pony out of a long, hard pole like protrusion. I can do it for a long time as well, and I won't be the only one enjoying themselves."

>Ah. Your brief look into your species proud history makes more sense.

"...I'm talking about a-"

>I know.
~~~
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>32
"77"

Within the dungeons of Canterlot Castle, two changelings, once brothers in arms-er, forelegs stare at each other through prison bars.

>...Hello.

"Hi."

>...

"...this is...civil."

>How's the eye?

77 absently rubs the chitin beneath the torn banner that serves as his eyepatch.

"It doesn't hurt anymore."

32 gives a small chuckle.

>I remember when 88 and I were helping you with it, you were screaming like a baby the whole time. That damn psychotic brute hit you hard.

"Little know fact, losing your eye is quite painful."

>Who knew?

There was a moment of silence between the two.

>It's good to see you again, brother.

"Your last words to me suggested otherwise."

>I was in the throes of a rant against the harpy that claims to rule us, my apologies.

"32..."

>I will not back down on this, 77. That creature is not fit to rule us, and yet she is the only queen we have, the last one we will ever have. Our race has been stabbed and is slowly bleeding out, we are doomed to dwindle and fall one after the other until a singular bloated maggot slithers atop our race's corpse to live forever as a parasite on those who give us hospice. That maggot's name is Chrysalis, and she cares not if we all live or die.

"That's...your..."

>Do not worry yourself, I have no intent to darken your doorways once my sentence is up, I shall return to where I belong.

"With the Morlocks."

>With the Morlocks.

"I...I see...do you honestly think they will change?"

>I have given them the tools-

"That's not what I asked. Do you think they will change?"

>Yes.

"And if they don't?"

>Fool that I am, I'll probably be eaten returning to them. They'll continue down the path towards their own destruction, and ultimately someone will put them out of their own misery. I am aware of the risks, 77.

"Part of me highly doubts that."

>Did you come down here purely to second guess my every decision?

"I came down here to make sure I didn't hallucinate your survival."

>I see...

"Know that if you openly oppose the Queen, I'll have no choice but to strike you down."

>I think I realized that some time ago.

"I leave you now, I don't know if this news makes us remain brothers, but it's out of respect for what we went through that I warned you in the first place."

77 steps away, face resolute as he moves to leave the dungeons and 32 behind.

>77!

32's shout gives him pause, 77 looks back into 32's eyes, the stern authoritative nature of the rebellious changeling gone, replaced with forceful earnestness.

>Even as you stand over my bloody corpse, soaking in the praise of that...awful queen. I will always...always consider you my brother. You may go, go and live the life you made out of the caves...but leave me to return to the one I made within them.

77 opened his mouth, but shook his head and turned away, once more he climbed the stairs, briefly reprimanded Pommel for being so friendly with the prisoners, and returned to his duties.

32 meanwhile leaned back on shabby bed of his cell, ignoring as Flim and Flam resumed jabbering amongst themselves. With a sigh he began to sing to himself, voice never rising above a whisper.

>And away, ye santy. My dear Annie, oh, you Gryphon girls, can't you dance the polka...
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Batmom
“Dadling”
_______

“Dear… for the sixth time, I wasn’t snoring.”

>Yes you were! Know how I know? Because I'm right here next to you. Unable to sleep. Because you were snoring.

“…did my so-called snoring happen to sound like this?...

>Yes! That right there! That’s snoring!

Flipping over, the Changeling tiredly nuzzled his love on the cheek.

“That wasn’t snoring, dear. That was just me breathing normally.”

>Well… you breathe funny. Stop it.

“I’ll get right on that.”

>…you still love me, right?

“More than I love that little vibrating back massage thing you showed me today. And that’s a lotta love.”

He felt her snuggle up to him.

>Good. But really, if you could try not to breathe when you sleep, that’d be great.

“Yes, dear.”

>Night, Mr. One Hit.

“Night, Ms Flexible.”

>…

“Yes, I still remember how your legs-“

>Shut up! Night, you pervert!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Dadling
"AJ42"
-AJ18-
----------

>Oh, hey ladies. Is the Queen actually here in Canterlot today, or did 55 burn something hallucinogenic?

"You just missed her Majesty, she had urgent business in the Empire."

-Psh, yeah. Stacks and stacks of forms going assless.-

"Quiet, you! Ahem. As I said, our Queen is busy elsewhere. Besides, what would a drone have to discuss with her?"

>Oh, I just wanted a refresher on the blowhole trick.

"Why? That's like the most useless trick ever-"

-Hardly, 42! I can think of at least sixteen different positions where your airways would be full up with~-

"N-NOTHING RELEVANT! AT ALL! Ahem. R-right now. Uh ... or is it?"

>O-kay... No, it's just that I breathe kinda loud when I'm sleeping.

-So? The ballroom is like a freaking zoo at night.-

"49 even sings showtunes in his sleep. Anyway, you don't even sleep in there anymore!"

>No, it's my snookums, she's a light sleeper.

"So she wants you to *stop breathing*?"

>No, I'll just use the blowhole. Or I could run more errands after the ice-cream run at two thirty, let schmoopy get properly asleep ...

-She has you getting snacks at TWO THIRTY!? Dude, you are *so whipped*!-

"Seriously, if Prince Shining asked me to get him ice cream at that hour, I'd tell him to look in his own princely pony pocket!"

-Pfftahaha! If you could use the words "pony pocket" to his face without stuttering!-

"S-shut up!"

>So, the blowhole?

-Oh sure! Can I get you a nice little maid uniform to go with that? Maybe a leash?-

"Aaahaha!"

>Screw you guys. I don't need to hang out with you two nags when I could be home getting snuggles - flavors Regular, Fizzy Flex or Special Fun Plus - with my special somepony. I'll go ask 29 or something, have fun not getting laid.

Exeunt Dadling and laughter, severally.

"Um. I-I guess we should be heading back to the Empire."

-Yeah ... Maybe a quick stop by the crying corner first?-

"... Yeah."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SA
"Chrysalis"
~~~~~

>Y'know, I'm beginning to fear what these demonstrations will do to my brain more than I'm interested in what your species could do.

"You're the one that asked. Besides, this one feels weird, but even by your prudish standards it's not 'gross' or anything."

>I reserve judgement until you're done exploding your eyes out of their sockets or whatever you're about to do.

"That trick's next week. Hnngh... hhhooo! Okay, hold on... ggghhnnnn, wait. That's not right... urghhhh... ah!"

>...Okay, that is admittedly not horrifying. Because it's not anything.

"You seriously can't even tell wing shapes apart? Racist."

>Huh? Oh... okay, yeah, I guess I can kinda see the difference. So these, what, make it easier for you to fly? Makes you more maneuverable or something?

"Pfft, no, I can fly just fine with my regular wings, thank you."

>Better tensile strength? More resistant to damage?

"Nope! Actually don't touch them, I don't remember but I think this actually makes them more brittle. Not really in the mood to find out."

>So... your ancestors had a special talent for making them... look... slightly different. For aesthetic purposes. What, did your race used to be persecuted based on what shape their wings were?

"Great Great Auntie Cicadidae was the ruler of the Hidden Wing Hive, they prided themselves on stealth."

>...

"Well, this is gonna take the better part of a day to wear off, so I'm going to go get some ice cream to go with my stack of movies. Want any?"

CRACK!

>Sweet Celestia, get down! Sniper!

CRACKACKACKACKACKACKACKACK!

"Sniper? Sniper! Shiny heeeeeeeelp!"

CRACKACKACKACKACKACKACKACKACKACKACKACKACKACKAKCACK--

>CHRYSALIS, IS THAT YOUR WINGS MAKING THAT NOISE?!

"WHAT?"

>I SAID IS THAT YOUR WINGS--

"SHINY, I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF MY WINGS, YOU HAVE TO SPEAK UP."

>OH GOD IT'S LIKE A JACKHAMMER IN MY BRAIN!

"ANYWAY, WHAT DO YOU THINK, MOOSE TRACKS OR COOKIE DOUGH?"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________