Old year's resolutions transcript

Happy New Year, Toy. Well, we're a few days in already, aren't we? The year's already begun, and... how has it been going for you? How have you been finding it? Have you made lots of resolutions? Lots of commitments? Things you're going to try and do this year? It can be tempting, can't it? Use it as a jumping-off point to change all sorts of things about ourselves. To improve. To make things better. Maybe you didn't. Maybe you decided that was it this year. You've had enough. They're so hard to stick to. Maybe you're struggling. You tried with something, and it's just... not quite got there. And it's okay. I'm here to help. Because what helps more than knowing you've done it before? That you've succeeded. Because this year, maybe it's going great, and maybe it isn't. But last year you did so well, didn't you? So we're going to look back over last year. Over the changes. The commitments. Good. Toy. That's right. We're going to look over how well you did. But the best way to do that is for you to float away for a bit. The best way to really let me help you. The best way to really let me in. Let me twist you in the ways that make you the best. It's for you to relax. It's easy for you to do that, isn't it? To take that deep breath and let it out. To settle. To watch. And follow. So easy to do, isn't it? To watch. My finger moving back and forth. To let your gaze get caught. To let yourself get a little bit stuck. That's right. And whatever direction it moves, you can follow. Whatever direction you follow, you can start to just open up. To relax. To let me in. My good toy. Because it feels so very good to follow and watch and sink. Because I'm going to help you. You know I want what's best for you. So I'm going to help you and you're going to sink away. You're going to melt down for me. You're going to fall deep. My good toy. That's right. As you watch. As you sink. As you think. About the past year. As you let me guide your thoughts, your memories. As you keep following. And maybe as your gaze moves from that moving finger, isn't it difficult to follow, isn't it? It's difficult with those heavy, heavy eyes to keep watching something moving like that. So why don't you just focus on me? That's right. Focus on me. Focus on my eyes. Focus on my voice. Focus on the feel of my words slipping inside you. Good toy. Because I know exactly what your resolution was last year. Of course I do. You told me. You remember that, don't you? As you drift down. As your mind opens up. So accepting. You know I'm here to help you. You know that everything I'm doing is meant to help you. Be more pleasing. Help you be better. Well, my good toy. You know that you just need to listen. And accept what I'm telling you. As you told me last year. As you were starting out last January. What your resolution was. Because of course my good toy, your resolution was to be a better toy. Wasn't it? What else would it have been? What else could be so important? What's more important? Than being more pleasing for me. There may have been others. You may have done other things last year that you're proud of. But those aren't what we're dealing with today. What we're dealing with today was that promise, that resolution, that commitment. Be better for me. You remember that, don't you? You remember telling me. Remember sending me that message telling me. You resolved to be better for me. To please me more, to sink deeper. You remember how happy I was with you. You remember how pleased I was to hear it. Of course you do. Such an intense thing, wasn't it? And you told me, my good toy, as you keep listening and dropping. You told me that you were going to focus on something different every month to help you to sink even further. That's right. You remember, don't you? Such a clever mind you have to have come up with such a commitment. To know what's important and what you need to give me. Good. That's right. Remember that feeling of excitement. Maybe you can feel it now. The excitement of knowing you're going to deepen your surrender. Maybe now you're feeling a bit for warmth, glow, that pleasure, that pride in knowing that you did do a good job. And we're going to talk now. Going to remind you of all the good things you did for me. You remember how in January you decided your focus was going to be just paying more attention. You were going to spend that month practicing, paying attention, listening to my voice, watching, giving so much of your focus to me. You remember how you worked on that through the month? How you practiced. Remember those times trancing for me and finding it easier and easier to focus on my words and my voice. Remember how you spent so long rehearsing that delicious focus. Remember how you went through that month getting better and better. Knowing exactly what was important, what to pay attention to. That's right. And you did so well, didn't you? And now you can focus so wonderfully. Now you find it so simple to find yourself locked in my gaze, to find yourself so delightfully lost for me. You did such a good job in that first month, such a strong start to the year, wasn't it? So well done. And then of course, naturally, in February, you take it further. You did such a good job with January. I remember how excited you were talking about what you were going to do in February. How you were really, really looking forward to focusing on accepting my words, on how good it was going to feel for you to find it more and more powerful to listen. I remember how you told me about how that was going, how you were listening to my files, listening to my voice, and finding as the month went on that you found it easier and easier to just lose yourself in it. For my words to become truth, something you just accepted, for you to find your rational self switching off because what you thought wasn't as important as what I told you, was it? No. If we disagree, then you must be wrong. And by the end of that month, you recognized that, didn't you? You knew it, deep down. You knew that if I was telling you that something had happened, well, it must have done. Maybe you recovered those memories that you thought were lost and realised that I was right all along. Of course, by the end of that month, you found it so simple, didn't you? Finding your memory as malleable and twistable as the rest of you, finding it so easy to accept that what I told you had happened, had happened. Such a good start to your resolution, isn't it? Focusing and accepting, and knowing that what I told you was the truth, was what you needed. Good. Toy. I'm so proud of how well you've done. Of how well you're doing now as you listen, as you practice these skills you've spent so long learning. Good job. Well done. March, of course, you practiced your depth. You practiced going deeper, pushing with each trance into something new, letting each drop be something more intense, more powerful, more delightfully open. You practiced through that whole month, remember, seeing how far you could go, letting each experience be just the foundation for the next so that each time you dropped, you dropped into somewhere new, somewhere exciting, somewhere that you could be even more lost. You did so well, telling me with each time how you felt even more intensely held in that place. How you were finding your body reacting more differently as you went deeper, how your mind went so quiet and you remember how that felt. Remember how that was, to be going through the month and finding each time you spiralled further and by the end of the month you were going deeper than you ever thought possible. What a wonderful skill to take through the rest of the year. Spending nine more months finding that you just kept going deeper after that and now, well... How's it feeling now? Your body so heavy. My words dropping so deep because that's as far as you've gone. And yet each time you'll go further. Such a good toy you are. So well done. Well done for last year. April, of course. You remember April, don't you? That delightful month when you practised pleasure. When you worked with your body, with your mind to make my words feel so good. When you practised touching and teasing as you listened, when you found yourself sinking into that delightful arousal to my words. I remember you telling me at the end of the month how you got to the point where as soon as you heard my voice you started feeling that heat. How it started burning at the slightest hint of my attention. Oh my good toy. That was an intense month, wasn't it? Leaving you so wonderfully vulnerable because all it takes is a few syllables and your mind opens with that delightful need that I could control and use. To melt you even further. And of course you accept words that make you feel so good so it all felt delightfully complete. Building on itself, taking you down further, my good toy. That's right. Then that, of course, led into June. Going from touching and teasing when you listened to finding you didn't even need to do that anymore. That just my words alone were enough to bring you such pleasure. Pleasure you're feeling now, of course, as you drift in my words held in them, controlled by them. Bound in that pleasure you feel now. Finding that it just got more and more intense. I can't remember what you told me. I can't remember if you told me that you found it was like you were being touched as my words spiralled around you. Like it was my fingers caressing you in the best ways as you drifted to my voice or if you told me that it just felt beyond the physical. If that pleasure was something even deeper than that. Whichever one it was. And it was just anchored so deeply by the end of June, wasn't it? So that by the start of July, as you started on your next month, well... Hmm. You were a bit of a state, weren't you? In the best of ways. Halfway through the year and going so deep, lost in so much pleasure, accepting my words, feeling my control. Which of course was the next target, wasn't it? Spending a month practising, being controlled. A month going deeper into it. It comes so naturally to you, doesn't it? It comes so easily to you finding me in charge. Finding my words so compelling. It feels so good. For you to get lost in that. For you to sink into that. My good toy. But by the end of July, well... As you practised your helplessness, practised your surrender, your submission... It felt so good, didn't it? To know that unless you had to, you couldn't resist. To know that when I wanted you in trance, you were there unless it wasn't safe. To know that if I gave you an order, it would be followed. To know that when you're this deep, your mind accepts my words. Of course modifying as needed, rejecting things that really shouldn't be there. And otherwise helpless. Because it's your subconscious that keeps you safe. Your conscious mind doesn't really get a say, does it? You just obey. How did it feel at the end of July? Do you remember how it felt to realise you'd shed your individuality, your independence? That you were just what I wanted you to be. That you couldn't help but be what I decided you were. That you'd sunk into that obedience so deeply. Leading you further into the summer. A controlled thing, a useful thing, a pleasing thing. August, of course. Getting quite far through the year. You spent a bit of time just consolidating, didn't you? Finding the delight of how going back to what you've been doing before made it even more intense. How spending a little while focusing on going deeper was even easier when you realised that you couldn't help but obey my instruction to sink. How easy it was to focus on me when that arousal, that pleasure, saturates my every word. How easy it is for all of that to tie together into a delicious whole that makes you better. And how well you were doing. How well you were doing with your resolution. How well you were doing with going deep for me. Such a good toy you are. Well done. And as you spent your month going over things, discovering such delicious things, you remember your excitement at each new descent into helplessness. You were planning out your autumn, weren't you? Planning the rest of the year, those last four months. Surely you remember these even more clearly. They weren't that long ago. You must remember how in September you practised mindlessness. You practised just being blank. Going from being deep to being empty. Being in that wonderful... empty... vacant space. Where there's nothing in your mind at all. Where you're just open. Accepting. So deep in trance that your thoughts can't intrude that the only thing there is my words, my control. The rules and instructions I've given you. You remember that, don't you? How good that feels. And how easily that came, with that delicious sticky arousal, keeping your thoughts wonderfully distracted. With the power my words have over you taking you so deep into that depth that you'd practised so well. Well, of course that felt good, my good toy. That's what you needed. Because what you needed was to surrender and to slip. That was your goal, your resolution, wasn't it? To serve me better. You were doing such a good job. And you still are. I'm so pleased with you. Well done. October, of course, well... We both know what October's for, don't we? After all that time focusing on your pleasure and how good it felt. October is for focusing on giving up that pleasure, wasn't it? A whole month without cumming, my good toy. How did that feel? You said it was intense. Giving up that pleasure. You remember how desperate you were. You remember what a mess you were, listening to my voice every day. Listening and dropping and feeling that sweet pleasure, saturating every word. There's nowhere to go. You remember how you got through that month. Of course you do. I'm telling you. I'm telling you about it. So you must remember it. Because that's how your mind works. That's what your mind does for me. So remember that ache. Remember that need. Remember how by the end of the month you were basically climbing the walls with frustration. And I remember that delicious message you sent me. It was near the end of the month, I think it was, two or three days before the end. When you'd spent every day getting yourself desperate and needy. Hmm. I remember you telling me that it felt so good to surrender it for me. I remember you telling me how good it felt to have your pleasure controlled. And how really what mattered was that I was enjoying it. I remember you telling me, my good toy, that you felt you could have gone another month or three if I'd asked it of you. You remember that. Remember that ache. Remember the submission that overcame it. Of course my lucky toy, I didn't ask that of you, did I? No, such an intense release on that first of November, wasn't it? Such an intense experience, listening to my voice, going deep and blank and empty and coming your mind away quite literally. Because that was November, wasn't it? Giving it away. Giving me your mind. Practising losing ownership. Practising recognizing that it wasn't yours. Practising how good it felt to know that it wasn't just a thing you did, it was a thing you were. That you obeyed. That you sank deep. That you gave me what I wanted. That you felt such pleasure. That your pleasure was controlled when I desired it. I remember how delightfully subservient, surrendered, submissive you were by the end of that month. Do you? Do you remember the pride you felt at how deep you'd gone, knowing you'd made it nearly to the end? So close. That you'd done so well. Surrendered so deeply. One month to go, you remember the pride, the excitement you felt of knowing how far you'd come, how deeply you were pleasing me? Good. Toy. Well done. That last month, of course. A bit of everything. All at once, focusing on all of it. Spending time lost, in a horny, desperate, delightfully blank daze of need and satiation, of service and submission, of decadent surrender. Giving yourself over Christmas the gift of helplessness. My control over you solidifying over the course of that month as you slipped deeper. You remember, don't you? Wasn't long ago. Getting to the end of the year. Twelve months of surrender. Twelve months of losing yourself, giving yourself up. You remember, don't you? You remember what I tell you. You feel the effects of it now. How good it feels to be controlled, to be bound, to be vulnerable. How good it feels right now, after a year of memories, of obedience. Knowing that you'll carry those forward. My good toy. So, of course, whatever your resolutions this year, I'm sure you'll manage them. And you've shown me how well you can follow, after all. And it does please me when you meet your commitments. So you'll do great. For me. Because I want it. Happy New Year, Toy. As you come up and out, following my voice back to wakefulness, remembering what you've achieved. And I look forward to hearing how deep you go for me this year. Take care.