Regarding my conflict with erinexplosives

	Some of you may already know what this is about, but in case you don't, erinexplosives recently made a series of tweets that accused me of enabling a transphobic individual who had hurt her, as well as many other people. However, I would like to stress, erin and I have since reconciled and reaffirmed our friendship, and the tweets have since been removed. I hold no hard feelings towards her for putting up these tweets, as they were a result of a misunderstanding between us that was ultimately my fault for not properly communicating to erin my intentions or consulting her in any way. However, I would like to dispel the idea that I am transphobic or in any way seek to enable the proliferation of those ideas. There have been many harsh assumptions made about me as a result of those tweets that lack the context that both erin and I possess, and I hope you'll give me the benefit of the doubt and read this through so that I may properly explain exactly what happened and what I was thinking that led us to this point, but before I do that, I would like to say:

I'm sorry, I was wrong.

	When the conflict between erin and this transphobic individual first came to light, I was unsure how to handle it. I've been fortunate enough to never encounter a situation or person even remotely similar to this one before, and while banning them was certainly on my mind as an option, I wanted to talk to individuals who have more experience in dealing with people and situations of this nature rather than trusting my own judgement regarding something I knew very little about. This led me to various trans members of my community to ask for their advice in order to decide what they believed was the correct course of action to make everyone feel safe. While this certainly wasn't a bad idea, I had already made a severe mistake, because this group did not include anyone hurt more directly, including erin herself. The conclusion I reached as a result of this was not based upon all the available information I could have had, and ended up being misguided as a result.

	The decision I reached was that I would talk to this person one on one, and if I could not persuade them to see why their beliefs were actively harming people, then I would ban them if they ever voiced those beliefs publicly. The logic that led me to this decision was that by preventing them from talking about their harmful beliefs, but not isolating them completely, maybe I could eventually instigate compromise and change in this person, and not push them away towards a group that might simply reinforce those harmful beliefs. However, I now see that such a strategy takes a potentially infinite amount of time, and the entire time people who were hurt cannot visit my chat without seeing this individual constantly, exposing them to further pain and conflict unless they avoided my chat in its entirety.

	It was the decision not to ban this individual that led erin to post her tweets, and I cannot blame her for it, because at this point I had yet to speak to her on the subject at all, which was insanely stupid on my part, and one of my largest regrets. If I had consulted erin or any of the people who felt directly attacked, I would have seen this much earlier, but I failed both them and my community in this regard, and there's really no amount of apologizing I can do to amend this mistake.

	However, erin's tweets opened my eyes to the degree that I was hurting people in my misguided attempt to bring about change. I did end up having a discussion with her afterwards, and through it, realized the massive mistake I'd made. In this discussion, we cleared up the misunderstanding we'd had, as erin had no way to know I believed myself to be acting towards protecting people from this individual. Again, this misguided conclusion came about because I had never communicated my thoughts to her. I understand now that without consulting anyone involved, this just looked like I was trying to play both sides, but that couldn't be further from the truth. I vehemently oppose the beliefs this person holds, as they are the antithesis to my own. However, my pride led me to believe that I could change them, and I never even considered that I would be harming people in the process. At the end of the day, this person's beliefs did not change, and so my approach was nothing but a failure in every regard.

	I would like to end this paste with what I've done since realizing the errors I've made in addressing this situation. As I mentioned, the transphobic individual in question had not shown any signs of changing their beliefs, and would only continue to hurt people. I came to the decision that it was most appropriate to ask this individual to leave my community to prevent any more pain for those affected. They would be allowed to return if they educated themselves or were willing to listen to those who they had harmed, but otherwise they were not to use my chat or my discord. This time, I did as I should have originally and consulted erin and many of the others affected, who all agreed that was a sane strategy, and properly protects those in the community, while simultaneously leaving the option open for this person to change without any harm incurred on others in the meantime. More than anything, I hope that this properly protects everyone in my community, and allows it to be a safe space for all kinds of people, as I always wanted.

	I hope anyone reading this can find it in themselves to forgive me for the mistakes I made in handling this situation. I never intended to hurt anyone, and I want to assure everyone that I learned from those mistakes and will apply what I learned in the future as well. I hope to continue learning in the future, so that as a streamer I can create as welcoming a space as possible for all of the people who enjoy my stream. Hatred will never be tolerated in my stream, and I plan to make sure I always consider the feelings of those targeted above all else when handling any situations that arise from now on.

	I would like to formally apologize to erin and everyone else affected by my mishandling of this situation once again. Again, I do not hold any grudge towards erin for tweeting out what she did, as it helped me to realize the crucial mistakes I'd made in the handling of the situation. Thank you to everyone taking the time to read this, and I hope that through it it becomes clear that I had only the best intentions with my actions, but failed to properly inform myself and was misguided as a result.