Uh-hmmm

Anon World Order part 8 [Talking] (Dazzlings)

Jan 13th, 2015
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  1. > You dig around in the pile of boxes, tossing an onion to Aria
  2. > "Like hell am I going to chop an onion."
  3. > You find what you are looking for, and straighten up
  4. "Even if I do the carrots and the potatoes?"
  5. > She scowls at you
  6. > "You just want to see me cry."
  7. > What a ridic-
  8. > Okay, now that she mentions it...
  9. > Eh, not worth the trouble
  10. "Fine, I'll do the onion, you do the carrots."
  11. > "That's more like it."
  12. > You roll your eyes, and set about preparing a cooking area
  13. > Two cutting boards, some knives, some peelers, aluminum foil, that's about everything
  14. > For a time the only sounds are the rustling of the trees, the whittling away of the vegetable peeler, and the careful cuts of your knife
  15. "Agh, curse you, onion!"
  16. > You step back, your eyes watering from the fumes
  17. > Aria smirks at you
  18. > "Stop being a baby, what's a little sulfuric acid in your eyes?"
  19. > You motion to the cutting board
  20. "You want to do this? No? Then kindly shut up, miss 'I don't want to cry'."
  21. > She taps her chin with the vegetable peeler
  22. > "I'm gonna level with you here. I just want to watch you cry, I don't particularly care why you do it. So get back in there and make me some delicious tears."
  23. "Pretty weird fetish you got there."
  24. > Aria rolls her eyes
  25. > "You have no idea."
  26. > Steeling yourself, you return to dicing the onion
  27. > Manly tears later, you are done
  28. > Looks like the carrots are done too
  29. "Looks like we split the potatoes."
  30. > She grunts an affirmative
  31. > You set about the tedious business of washing, carving, and chopping potatoes
  32. > Normally you'd go into a zen-state to deal with the boredom, but you have options now
  33. "So do you have any fetishes other than..."
  34. > You can't help but shudder
  35. > "Mr. R? Yeah, I got a few. Why, you volunteering?"
  36. > You shrug
  37. "Maybe. Depends on the fetish."
  38. > She smirks at that
  39. > "Alright. I got rough sex, bondage, rape, snuff, necrophilia, bleeding, castration, vore, "
  40. > It just goes on and on
  41. > Terms you only recognize from the darker threads of /d/
  42. > "Zombie gangbang, wound fucking, infections, corruption, waffle irons,"
  43. > In self defense, you idly imagine you are Forrest Gump, on the receiving end of Bubba's shrimp talk
  44. > Just chop the vegetables and let the darkness flow on by
  45. > "Anal fissures, and consensual sex in the missionary position solely for the purpose of procreation."
  46. "Wait, what about that last one?"
  47. > Aria shrugs
  48. > "A girl's got to be into some kinky stuff."
  49. > ...
  50. > You didn't really listen for most of the list, but you doubt it would make a difference
  51. "Yeah, that's the only one I could really get into. But I have to ask, where does Mr. Rogers fit into all of this?"
  52. > She gazes down into her memories, the knife held loose in her hand
  53. > "I wasn't always...as happy as I am now. I tried to stop eating."
  54. > Oh
  55. > "I stayed inside, played nice with the girls, tried everything I could do to avoid conflict."
  56. > Oh yeah, they do sorta feed on that
  57. > "Mister Roger's Neighborhood was the most calming thing, I thought it would kill me. I must have spent days, watching reruns of that old man."
  58. > She tucks a bit of hair behind her ear and smiles fondly
  59. > "He taught me to love myself, and to find the little joys in life. You ever been so depressed, all you do is masturbate?"
  60. > What
  61. "Not...really."
  62. > "I was. Then Adagio decided to put her foot down, and took away my videos. I got so angry, I beat the everloving shit out her. That's when I realized, I like being angry, I like being violent, and that is enough for me to keep on living."
  63. "That's almost inspirational."
  64. > "Isn't it though? Did you know I hugged him, once?"
  65. "Really?"
  66. > "Had to change my panties afterwards, but yeah. Good times."
  67. > You just stare at purple panda
  68. > She comes back to herself, and grins at you
  69. > "Enough about that. Let's mutilate these vegetables."
  70. > With a chuckle, you get back to work.
  71. > The ground beef gets portioned out, then the vegetables, and the two of you double wrap it all in foil
  72. > You stand by her side, proudly gazing upon the misshapen lumps in the fire
  73. "We did good today, partner."
  74. > "You're such a dork."
  75. > She punches you in the arm, hard
  76. > As you rub away the pain, you wonder if this is how she shows interest
  77. > Perhaps it's time for some body armor
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