Whats Up with Bloody

Hello Everyone,

Sorry for the lack of streams lately.  There have been a couple of things keeping me from streaming as of late: The New WoW Xpansion (Legion) and Some Real Life things (A lot of mental things we'll get into later).  I still plan to be in the Big20 Saturday though :)

So touching base on the first thing.. World of Warcraft. Many of you and many of my friends dont know this, but WoW was one of my first serious games I ever played and put a lot time into.  Prior to WoW I would dabble in the occasion game with friends, but gaming wasn't a huge part of my life.  With the latest release of Legion (which by the way has been a very good xpak so far) I knew most of my time would go to that for a while.  Now that I have hit 110 and have enough gear to sneak by for the first content patch, my WoW playing time will dramatically decrease and more focus will go to retro games/speedrunning again.  I would of streamed WoW but I don't think any of you would of enjoyed the streams (rather boring questing) and I can't stream PC games without much FPS issues.

Now.. onto the bigger issue as to why I haven't been streaming or really been social with everyone.  This is real talk and I'm opening up a little so you guys can understand Tony (or EBC) a lot better. I suffer from really bad anxiety and paranoia.  People often tell me to go find a get-away or meditate... well truth of the matter is I live in a very populated city and since i don't go out much... idk any "get-aways" near me and second.. I have no idea how to meditate nor know what that would even do for me.  This is something I have 'suffered' from my entire life, but as of late it has been getting worse and this goes in spurts.  Some days I'll feel on top of the world and some days I feel like I don't want to exist. There isn't anything a person can do to fix that so no need for 'sorry' or the ':('.  The biggest hit lately has been my weight.  I joke and kid around about being a big person, but I feel it's because I have to.. Otherwise people will see it as a insecurity and use it to try and hurt me.  The reality of it though is my weight is a concern and something I want to get rid of.  The days I feel on top of the world.. the goal is reachable and I'm exercising, cooking, etc.. the days I feel like I wanna crawl in a hole.. are the days where that goal slumps and I lose all focus.  And the anxiety days come more often than the positive days.

BUT we will bounce back, we will 'recover' I guess you can say and we'll be extra EBC (with more controller throwing *thumbs up*).  I plan to stream sporadically this week in light of the Big20 to pep a fw games I'm unfamiliar with and after that we'll focus back to GameBoy Adventure.  As of right now I do not plan to run in the Tiny10, but rather commentate the event with Moelle and Bangerra and who ever else.

I hope you all understand this - it's a little more personal than I been with you all, but I feel you all should have a base understanding of where I come from as to why some streams I'm chipper and others I wanna burn the world.

- Tony A.K.A Bloody