Thread 108:Stories 76-83

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Omake
>Rarity
‘Spike’

>Darling. Correct me if I’m wrong but it sounded like you were rather miffed at me up there.

‘Miffed? Yeah that’s one way to put it when you ENDANGER ENTIRE KINGDOMS!’

>Well excuse me for doing what’s right!

‘RIGHT!? HOW WAS THIS RIGHT!? WE ARE ALL AT RISK NOW!’

>Oh? And who was it who got us into the fight that opened my eyes to how we are getting unfair preferential treatment? Hmm?

‘Uh…..’

>And frankly, I don’t much care for your tone in general. Someone…needs a spanking~

‘I NEED AN ADULT!’
>I am an adult…now bend over

‘DIFFERENT ADULT! I NEED A DIFFERENT ADULT!’

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~????~
~~~~

"HRK... HRKK... HRKKK..."

'WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?'

"I'm doing what she said!"

~AHHHHHHHHHH~

"Pipe down, I'm not going to drop you yet!"

'PUT CANTERLOT BACK!'

"No!"

~AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~

"Don't tell me how to live!"

~~AHHHHHHHHHHHH!~

"Now... did she say put it down over there... or over there... meh, I'll split the difference."

'NONONONONO-'

THOOOM!

"...Huh. Screaming stopped."

'EVERYTHING STOPPED! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN YOU DROPPED A DAMN CITY OUT OF THE SKY!?'

"Not explosions, actually. That was new."

'AHHHH!'

>WHAT IN TARNATION!? MAH ORCHARD!... AND CANTERLOT, AH' GUESS!

"You're welcome."

>...Wait, Ah' guess this did solve a problem. Huh... good job?

"Hrmph!"

'...I wanna go back through the portal.'

~*Death gurgle*~

'No, you can't come.'

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Omukuh!
>18
"SA"
~~~

"So, you okay?"

>DEATHDEATHDEATHDEATHDEATH

"Look, it's not like she was doing it specifically to get rid of you... right?"

>MURDERMURDERMURDERMURDER

"I mean... did you do something to her at some time? Imply you were prettier? That set her off pretty easy. You didn't did you?"

>GOREGOREGOREGOREGORE

"...We might have to get you a muzzle."

>SEXYSEXYSEXYSEXYSEXYSEXY

"....huh..."

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NCOMAKE
>29
"MM"
'Ponyville'
~~~

>What does thou suppose are the odds I shall be swiftly and easily released of any and all wrongdoing, and forgotten in a blink?

"I don't know, what are the odds that mob is carrying pitchforks and torches because they're going to do some late night farming?"

>...is... is the odds bad?

"The odds be bad."

>Oh...

'FARMERS! HURRY! WE'VE GOT TO GET THAT HAY STACK CLEAR OR ELSE IT'LL GET RUINED IN THE RAIN!'

'WOOOO! FARMING!'

>...oh! Oh, that's marvelous!

'Yeah, we have to hurry, or else we won't have time to lynch that chigger.'

>OH COME ON!

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~Trixie~
~~~

'TRIXIE HAS THIS!'

CHU-CLICK!

~~~Minutes later~~~~

~Wow, Trixie did not have that one.

>"YOU THINK!I?"

~Well, Trixie doesn't she why they're putting her on the cross too! She's not a changeling!~

'WE JUST WANTED YOU TO SHUT UP!'

~...Oh....~

"Wait, where' Zecora?"

>She has IQ bigger than a thimbleful and wasn't standing next to me.

"...So-"

>So Manehatten, probably.

~...Trixie could have taken them.~

'LIGHT HER UP FOR THE LOVE OF FAUST!... And the changeling too, I guess, racwaryadda yadda...'

FWOOSH!

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>HA HA! I am no mere changleing! I... am a sacred Panda!

"A sacred panda!? here!? Let him down!"

>And my Acolyte!

'Aco-wha?'

"ACOLYTE YOU FOOL! LET THEM DOWN! So THEY MAY BE FREE!"

'Alright fine! ...where are they goin?...'

'Wait...since when are panda's sacred...or fast?'

"Uh...."

'Well I won't be voting for YOU again. Don't even know pandas aren't sacred...'

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OMAKE!
>SA
"32"
'???'
~~~~

"At last! Character development! Moments!... I'd like to think he even took me up on the offer and went into the closet with me in there."

>He probably didn't.

"Yes yes yes, I know, but I can dream he was like "Well I have five minutes" and then I got myself a nifty little treat in canon."

>What, in here wasn't good enough for you?

"Oh, don't get me wrong..."

Tellingly, he licked his lips.

"You certainly gave me a fill, and being your mare was loads of fun."

>Huh...

"What?"

>I just noticed you didn't, like, threaten me, and I wasn't comically injured, and nothing bad happened at all. It just kinda happened.

"And in so many positions!'

>That it did.

With an agreeing nod, the changeling headed towards the door.

"Well, this has been fun, but I suppose I must be getting back. Though, do remember, canon or non..."

He stopped at the door, looking back just long enough to give Shining a side eye.

"My doors are always open. Come in the front if you want, but if you're being naughty..."

He smirked before his tail flicked to the side.

"The back is a fine choice too. Ta ta~!"

With that, he was gone.

>...Hey! Awesome! Nothing bad happened! Yep, everything was just cool, and fun, and nice. Yep yep yep... why isn't this cutting to black? Hello? Cut to black? Black? Ending? Hellooooo?... Is Discord going to come back? Discy wants some screentime? I'm fine with that. He can bring Fluttershy too if he wants, I can handle both... hellooooo?... Huh, maybe this thing is broken-

BOOM!

>GLK!

Before he could react, a steel half-circle shot through the wall, grabbing him by the throat and embedding him on the other side.

>GLKK... Wait, I recognize that boom! That's a rocket launcher boom- Noooooooo...

'Shining Armor...'

>Nooooooo...

'I require... Screentime.

>NOOOOO NOPE NOPE NOPE TOO YOUNG TOO YOUNG THIS IS CREEPY THIS IS WRONG I WANT NONE OF THIS-

'For my darling little Diamond Tiara, of course!'

>NOPENOPENOPE... Filthy Rich?


The Earth pony smiled, letting the rocket launcher go low to his side.

'Hello!'

>Oh... um, hey.

'Oh my, you didn't think I'd let my sweetums come in here and do this, did you!?'

>...Not going to lie here, I kinda did. Hence the panicking and nopeing. Was not doing that.

'Oh, good!'

>Why did you sound like Diamond Tiara?

'Voice modulator!'

>Before you stepped in, I mean.

'Oh, that... well, if you WERE willing to go through with it...'

Tellingly, he tapped his rocket launcher.

>I see.

'Well, best get to it, shall we? As I have heard, I'm not allowed to be the pitcher in this ballgame, yes?... Unfortunate, but acceptable.

Shining Armor sighed, finding the grip around his neck to be a touch painful.

>You know, I can just give you screentime for her, right? Call in favors? You're a business pony, you see the benefit.

'Oh yes, of course.'

>Annnnddd?

The pony smiled, dropped his weapon, and sauntered up to him.

'And my wife is a frigid, angry little mare who we never even see in story. So what makes you think I'd want the counter offer of owing you a favor?'

>...Point?

'No no, THIS right here, this is a point.'

>Please stop poking it.

'And Shining? Fair warning, if my little baby doesn't show up at all next thread... I'm going to blow your balls off.'

>...

'In the not fun way. But until that point, enjoy it in the fun way! And oh, look at that, hanging up like that brings you to the perfect height!'

>My neck is actually hurting.

'Well then... allow me to give you some revenge. AHHHHM!... GLK!'

>So is this a bomb? It's beeping.

'Hmmm hm!'

>...Meh. I would welcome death at this point.

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