Qin Shi Huang's Valentine Scene (M)

Qin Shi Huang:
Oh, what's wrong? Standing on ceremony like that.

Guda:
Please, accept this!

*We give our Valentine's gift to the Emperor*

Qin Shi Huang:
Oh, a tribute. To think you would... Haha, splendid. So you've finally decided to join Our Eternal Sin Empire!
...What, I'm wrong? It's according to the ritual? Mrgh, so it's another strange custom from the Panhuman History. Well, fine.
It was We who decided to examine your world as much as possible. Our curiosity has been piqued by this "Va-len-ta-in" event too.
...However, this is...Mhm, sweets, is it...Munch...Mm, sweet. It's sweet! Truly!

Guda:
Does it suit your palate?

Qin Shi Huang:
No, rather than suiting or not suiting it, this is astounding. Anyhow, it's been 2xxx years since We have actually tasted something.
Hm~ sweet nectar. A sensation I haven't felt in a long time. This truly splendid!

Guda:
2xxx years...

Qin Shi Huang:
No, well, We have ridden ourselves of the body of a human a long time ago, you know? A tongue has also been implemented on this Zhenren framework for the sake of perfection.
Due to existing as a Servant in this Chaldea, We never remembered the necessity of meals.
Mrgh...Still, this...We've been deceived. The delight of taste. Cooking, huh. This is also the beauty of culture.

Guda:
Why are you brooding over that?

Qin Shi Huang:
No, well, in the Sin We governed, We alone were responsible for the aesthetic appreciation of the performing arts.
But since We discarded the body for which food was necessary, the concept of food culture has altogether ceased to exist.

Guda Option 1:
That's unreasonable!

Guda Option 2:
Others did not cook?

Qin Shi Huang:
I mean, the sage wheat I gave to the masses was a 300-meters-a-grain superfood that would make one elated, clearheaded and give them matchless vigor just by eating it.
After all, the process known as cooking takes time and effort since there is no finished food to eat.

Guda Option 1:
That's amazing, but...

Guda Option 2:
That's somewhat desolate...

Qin Shi Huang:
The desire to individually seek out the pleasure of taste, is a value unique to the Panhuman History where every person is a human being.
Hmrgh, "Va-len-tai-n"...What is this ritual? Like I thought, is it some kind of evil heresy that brings about chaos?

Guda:
It's not like that at all!

Qin Shi Huang:
Just now, that bearded pirate captain was wandering around over there in high spirits, saying things like "handsome men should die". Is it some dispute concerning these sweets?
If one craves pleasing delights in great number, envy and jealousy equal to the amount of that desire will infest the world. We do not find such a thing admirable~

Guda:
...Should we give up on Valentine's Day?

Qin Shi Huang:
Hahaha, do not make such a sorrowful face. Conflicting about the way the world of man is, that's just the usual dialogue between you and We, no?
I am willing to recognize the brilliance and wonder of this sweet shock. This is another great treasure brought about by the work of humans.
There was also a civilization of creative ingenuity that collapsed due to being excessively perfect... Umu, I am truly impressed.
Giving us, the sole Zhenren, a novel understanding is a meritorious deed indeed. Therefore, you'll be bestowed with a reward later. Wait for a bit.

*Later in My Room*

Qin Shi Huang:
Alright, it is finished! Now, feast your eyes upon it!

*We get some chocolate from the Emperor*

Guda Option 1:
No matter how you look at it, this is chocolate cake...

Guda Option 2:
But hard...like stone!?

Qin Shi Huang:
Fuhahahaha, I have imitated the skills of the sculptors gathered and raised in Xianyang. Even the skillfulness of my Zhenren framework's fingers is perfect, no?
Even in my Empire that forgot about food, there were many other flowers of civilization. We won't feel satisfied until we show them off.

Guda:
T-thank you...very much...

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Chalcedony Chocolate


Return gift bestowed by Qin Shi Huang.
In other words, a return gift for Valentine's.

Chocolate cake carved from chalcedony.
The exquisite beauty that makes it impossible to tell apart from the real thing, is close to even the Jadeite Cabbage and the Meat-shaped Stone that are renowned as great treasures in quality.