F/Z drama cd2

Kiritsugu: Anything, Shirou? Can't get any sleep?
Shirou: Yeah... I saw that dream again...
Kiritsugu: I see....
Shirou: Hey gramps, the medicine you gave me this morning.... Can I take some now?
Kiritsugu: Hm? It's still rather too soon for that but.... Fine, I guess. But what's the occasion here? You always hated that medicine, didn't you?
Shirou: Of course I don't like it. It's bitter and it's mushy and all... But gramps, you made that medicine with magic didn't you?
Kiritsugu: Well, it's magecraft to be specific. But yeah, somewhere along that line.
Shirou: When I think of it that way, it sorts of calms me down. I get uneasy in this kind of night...
Kiritsugu: I see.... Can't really blame you for that...
*Shirou gulps that drink*
Shirou: Gramps.... How much longer should I take in this medicine?
Kiritsugu: Well, once you are old enough to attend Middle school you won't be needing that anymore. Until then, bear with it, will you?
Shirou: Ehhh?
Kiritsugu: The healing spell I used on you 2 years ago... Seems to be a little too strong for you. The danger still lurks within you, Shirou. Until you grow up and let your body put on some more antibodies, you will have to rely on this medicine.
Shirou: Hey gramps.... Instead of this medicine.... Why don't you teach me the proper magics to protect myself? If I can take care of myself, gramps, you too can relieve some burdens off your shoulder right?
Kiritsugu: No, I can't allow that. It's more troublesome to teach you magecrafts than making that medicine.
Shirou: I also want to be able to do anything just like you, gramps!
Kiritsugu: I know that sense of admiration within you as a child.... Even I still remember that sensation... But you no longer needed that....
Shirou: Why!? I need that! 'Cause I still can see that dream... Even though 2 years have passed.... I still can't get over it... Since you have trained me I won't lose to anyone in fights and I'm not even afraid of my upperclassmen. But.... Once I see that dream.... Even when I wake up, everyone's still looks pale... I couldn't stop trembling.... I am really scared of seeing that dream again.... Even though you saved me yet it felt pointless! So that is why.... I need that confidence to prepare myself so everything will be fine if that happens again! If I become a magician like gramps, I.... won't just end up lying down but I could have done a lot more! Kiritsugu: Shirou.... To be a magus, the very first resolve that you have to make is to accept the concept of death itself... That is not something that will help or support you...
Shirou: Gramps, you did tell me that before... I don't quite understand, but...
Kiritsugu: Shirou.... Heh.... Well, let's try if you can get to sleep again... I know you can't calm down yet, but your body should be seeking some rest...
Shirou: But gramps....
Kiritsugu: You still have school to attend to tomorrow, right? If you are late again Taiga-chan will get upset, you know?
Shirou: Cheh.... That's true enough. Fine, I understand...
*Shirou goes back to his bedroom*
Kiritsugu: Sigh... Just when I thought time will make him forget about that tragedy... Instead, he's getting more and more conscious about that tragedy.... He's getting impatient... He did not want to simply grow stronger... He needed a weapon to get over his trauma it seems.... To think that he's haunted by image of death at such a young age.... Heh... The irony when I'm trying to stray him away from magecraft though... Sigh, I wonder why.... I cannot allow Shirou to learn any magecraft from me. It's not something Shirou wished for... It's not a power that can bring happiness to people... It is something that I knew to well about... But I do understand that Shirou wanted that assurance of grasping his own life with his own will.... That is definitely one of the most fundamental mind-set required to practice magecraft... Whilst accepting death... the will to live is yet another important reflection of one's mind... What.... should I do now....
*The next day, Kiritsugu and Taiga are practicing Kendo*
Taiga: Phew! Thank you!
Kiritsugu: Whoa, you got stronger, Taiga-chan. You can’t call that level that of a high-schooler anymore!
Taiga: Oh, not at all! There’s still a long way ahead of me! I still have a lot of flaws here and there and that is why I never stopped training up myself every day!
Kiritsugu: Oh, for real? You have already reached to a level so high that I see no point for you to keep me as a training partner. You won’t gain anything from sparring with people like me anymore, do you?
Taiga: Hmm…. Kiritsugu, you look as if you are always spacing out but from the way I see it, you seem to be hiding something that I don’t possess somehow. And hence, the reason why I asked you for a sparring session is because you never cease to amaze me with new discoveries within every single seconds of our spar! I’m learning something new every time!
Kiritsugu: Heh, I find it scary instead when you put it that way. A man who just got dropped out from life like me would only be a bad example, wouldn’t I?
Taiga: Oh nonono! No such thing at all…. Is what I’d like to say but…. I see…. So, Kiritsugu, you really are aware of your depravity in the eyes of the society huh?
Kiritsugu: Heh, you possess everything that I held dear for. So there’s nothing for you to learn from me to be honest.
Taiga: Muuuuuu! Something that Kiritsugu possessed!? Was it your memories of your youthful Exes during your younger days!? If that is so, I really don’t mind reliving your memories with them------
Kiritsugu: Hahahahaha I guess above all things, your youthfulness shines the most.
Taiga: Huh? You let it slide just like that? I intended for that to be a joke though~
Kiristugu: What? That was a joke? Well, I’m aware that I reek like an old gramps. Heck, even Shirou treats me like a grandpa.
Taiga: Wha--- I may only be a girl here, but as one from the Fujimuras, we will hold responsible for every word that came out of our mouth! Ayyyyy don’t worry about it! This Fujimura Taiga is willing to give you some help in regards to the experience and the status quo or anything of a lively and active high-school girl here! So, come at me! I can even spell out the best trending hair-rinse in the Oricon Chart, you know!?
Kiritsugu: Hahahaha, you sure know how to take care of people, huh? So do you find yourself advising your juniors often?
Taiga: Hmm… now that I think about it…. You could say this is my act of virtue here! I was dubbed the Counsellor-of-all-trades in Homurahara actually…. Hmm… Do you think I should start charging the for the advices I give?
Kiritsugu: You shouldn’t label a price on an act of virtue, ok? Hm… But well…. Maybe I do have one dilemma that only a young person like you would understand….
*Stands up*
Kiritsugu: Taiga-chan. Wanna go for a tea when you are free? Of course, only when you are free enough to entertain this old-man-in-his-mid-age.
Taiga: Ohohohoho! Of course! Please allow me, OSU!!
*They seem to be enjoying a good tea time now*
Taiga: Waaaahhh…. This beautiful sunlight… This deep bitter fragrance… And that soothing water cane….. PWERFECTT!! This kind of instant is way too perfect!!
Kiritsugu: This water cane…. Is actually built by Shirou… I wonder just how did that boy get so good in the kitchen.
Taiga: Isn’t that fine? All those people that accuse him of having sissy hobby are simply not aware of the change in trend. Highschool girls these days actually harbour a secret urge for a butler kind of guy! Please don’t assume all girls love to cook! Sooner or later, the era of ‘King’ is coming soon and Shirou will definitely have no problem in looking for a wife!
Kiritsugu: Well, truth to be told, that actually helped me a lot though. The fact that he’s taking on the cooking in my stead…
Taiga: Yes! It’s always good to find one’s specialty! I think he’s too desperate sometimes but… But it doesn’t change the fact that it really did save us from troubles! But now that we think about it, how did he become so good in cooking? What exactly is the difference between me and Shirou? Patience? Our strive for perfection? Or the fact that he properly tastes his own food? What’s the ABC of cooking anyway?
Kiritsugu: By the way, Taiga-chan. Not really to continue our topic… But can you think of this as a game and try answering a few of my questions? Just like how you give advises to your juniors and friends.
Taiga: Oh, you are being shy again this time~ Or maybe you are trying to test my debating skills here? Ayyyyy, fine! Come at me!
Kiritsugu: Hmm… Ok then. Let’s say… There’s a boy who wanted you to teach him the way of Kendo. Not that he likes Kendo nor that he likes extra-curricular activities but rather, he simply wanted to get stronger. His only motivations was strength.
Taiga: Hmmm… That is not a rare case to be honest. There are quite a lot of freshman that tried to enter our club with that kind of motive.
Kiritsugu: And there’s the twist…. There’s a real katana reachable within his hands at his home. The administration are so loose that he can take it out just about any time. If you carelessly teach him Kendo, he might just use that katana and hurt somebody one day. So what do you think?
Taiga: Hmmmmm….. So this kind of questions are only based on situation where options like ‘locking up the katana in a locker’ or ‘throwing away the katana’ are not allowed right? It’s just an instance to see how I would respond as an advisor or a Kendo club member right?
Kiritsugu: Yup. Exactly. You absorbed real quick, eh?
Taiga: Ohohohoho it’s quite hard to do it if you already compliment me before I have even started. Ahem, let’s see… An insolent pupil who harbours an ulterior motive in pursuing the path of swordsman but with a really sincere and pure wish to get stronger… Can’t say I don’t know how he feels. Hmm… Even if I reject him he might just pursue Online Lessons or even resort to even worse methods… Hmmm. Welp, I guess I’ll just teach him Kendo first!
Kiritsugu: Hmm?
Taiga: BUT!! Only the swings! And I will never allow him to learn any footworks or do any sparring at all! Nothing but only swinging! I will make him swing 10 sets of 100s even during rainy days, windy days, EVERYDAY BEFORE AND AFTER HE SLEEPS!
Kiritsugu: Is that…..even Kendo?
Taiga: Nope. I will just teach him some nonsensical essence of Kendo. PAM PAM! I will only make him focus on swinging shoulders and tell him to imagine swinging towards a grandma’s shoulder, massaging her and I will teach him the worst way to handle a Shinai where it’d fall off every time even when he swings seriously.
Kiritsugu: Ahah…. I see what you did there.
Taiga: If we make him practice so much of nonsense, no joy but only misery, plus 0 signs of getting stronger. So long he’s not a massive idiot, he’d definitely give up. And I bet he’d say something like ‘Kendo is useless’. Then that’d make him understand that swords will never bring him any good and case closed. But then… if he started thinking like ‘If sword can’t do it, then I’ll go for guns’ and went astray, then that’d be outside the concern of a Kendo practitioner and then I’ll have to look at the case from the perspective of Fuyuki’s justice but that’d beat the purpose of this question, wouldn’t it?
Kiritsugu: Hmm true that. To be honest, that was a really unexpected answer… Which means that you’d ‘deceive’ him, huh?
Taiga: Plus, it is fraudulent of that kid to pursue the path of sword for the sole purpose of getting stronger. It is a deception to let him realize of his own mistake, a very sincere lie.
Kiritsugu: Taiga-chan…. If…. Just an example--- What if, that boy just now actually believed in every single words you said, and yet you don’t want to betray his trust. In that case, would you still use the same method?
Taiga: Though it pains my heart, in order to stir him off his misconceptions, we’d have to let him walk through the wrong path, and let him foresee the answer of the path he has taken. I think that is the shortest way for him to clear his misconceptions. Plus, you don’t really find any pupils that’d just listen to your lectures or naggings by heart.
Kiritsugu: So that’d mean all the time and passion he had invested to that nonsensical Kendo will be nothing but a waste of time… huh?
Taiga: Yes, it’s fine that way. Just think of that as a tuition fee---- Oooooh, I mean, wasting your time is what they meant by youth after all.
Kiritsugu: Heh, I see. But… What if… That boy still didn’t know of the mistake until the end… What would you do?
Taiga: If that is so, then that’d be yet again, a very amazing thing to witness. I think I might praise him instead.
Kiritsugu: Why would you say so?
Taiga: Because that’d mean that the boy had invested all his time and passion on some nonsense and saw through it till the end, right? That it’d mean what he has been practicing is no longer a nonsense but rather, he has mastered a whole new path different from that of a Kendo. That boy will become a charismatic figure that developed a swinging technique that tests one’s undying will.
Kiritsugu: *impressed*
Taiga: If he has become such a figure then it’d be rather strange for him to even think of hurting someone else. I’m pretty sure he won’t harbour any ill feelings towards his Master that thought him such a ‘nonsense’. Everything will be fine in the end!
Kiritsugu: Hmph… Taiga-chan, you sure are amazing. You really are something.
Taiga: Heheheheheh, Awwwww stop it you! I’m the type that’d fly sky high if you compliment me too much! If I get anymore carried away longer at this rate, I might just get a teaching license, ya know!? What’d you do if that happens!?
*It’s dinner time*
Taiga: Nggghhh, this is so good~~~
Shirou: Fuji-nee, you sure eat a lot…. You’re not worried if you get fat at all?
Taiga: Pffftttt, my training is not that soft to till I gotta worry about my body fats! If you really want to make me fatter you gotta give me 3 more servings of these! And plus, don’t call me fat. Someone might die here. So please call me in a cuter tone like, Miss Piggy~ or something.
Shirou: I knew that’s gonna happen that’s why I made more today. If it’s just me and gramps, we might even leave enough leftovers for tomorrow’s breakfast.
Taiga: Oh, Shirou. Once you got to the growing phase you won’t be saying that again. This impulsive immense appetite of mine…. Welp, it’s just a prelude to my 2nd phase of dynamic nice body in the near future after all.
Shirou: Hmph, fine. I will try to come up with a menu with less fat so you won’t be able to intake as much fat. So eat up all you want at that time.
Kiristugu: Shirou… Does that mean we are going to have more… Japanese meals in the future?
Shirou: Yep. Plus gramps, you get full really soon these days. So isn’t meal with lesser servings but higher nutritional level better for you?
Kiritsugu: But uh… Don’t you think it’s fine to have like…. Hamburgers once in a while?
Shirou: Sigh…. Gramps. Listen here. You have already grown so old yet can’t you do something about that childish tongue of yours? What did you eat to make you grow up like that all these time!
Kiritsugu: Um… Uh… heheh
Taiga: Now, now, Kiritsugu-san, I will stand by your side when it comes to junk food so no worries~ Seems like the upcoming Bon Festival Dance will have lots of people aking the Doner Kebab ya know~
Shirou: Hey Ms.Piggy over there, please stop spoiling my gramps over here.
Taiga: Muuhhh, Shirou~ Onee-chan thinks there’s something wrong with the hierarchy on this dining table~
*Clock rang*
Taiga: Phew, that was a good meal. I’m satisfied~~
Kiritsugu: I think the bath’s ready by now. Taiga-chan, wanna go into the bath again today?
Taiga: Ohh~ Then I will go help myself then~ Phew~ What a dream house you have here, Kiritsugu-san~ Bath Bath Bath~~~
Kiritsugu: Shirou, once Taiga returns home, can you come to the Dojo for awhile? I need to talk to you.
Shirou: Eh? O-ok.
*The sound of the starry night*
Shirou: Hey gramps, are you really going to teach me some mageraft!?
Kiritsugu: Yep. Shirou… I will only teach you within my capabilities. But the content might not be what you wished for. I’m pretty sure you will be disappointed. If you got tired of it, don’t hesitate to stop, ok? I know I have been saying these a lot of times, but this exercise, is truly unnecessary.
Shirou: It’s fine! I just wanted to be able to do what gramps, you can do, too!
Kiritsugu: Listen, Shirou. To learn magecraft, is to depart from common sense. We die when the time comes. We kill when we have to. That is our true nature. We do not live by the living, we live by death. Magecraft is something that destroys oneself from the inside. There’s no other way around. What I’m going to teach you, is something that would stir more conflicts than not. And so… never use it in front of others and it’s also quite difficult so you should take the practice seriously.
Shirou: *nods*
Kiritsugu: Welp, even though I just said that, those are not the important part of it. If situation calls for it, you can just break those rules when necessary.
Shirou: W-what do you mean by that?
Kiritsugu: The most important part of a magecraft is…. You musn’t use it for your own sake. You can only use it for other’s sake. With that, Shirou…. You may be able to use magecraft but you will never become a magus.
Shirou: I see…. It sounds complicated but I more or less understand now. I never wanted to be a Magus, I just wanted to learn magecraft from you, gramps. So I’m fine! I’ll listen to what you have said.
Kiritsugu: Good. Welp… Let us start from the basic of the basic. The creation of your Magic Circuit. We will first make a line to allow mana to flow through your body. This is different from your nervous system that you are born with but rather, it is something that you don’t have in the first place. This is where you project and image of your entire body, from your organs, to your fingers, to every single nails, even to every strand of your hair, and manipulate them. You must learn to retain that level of focus concentration first.
Shirou: The first step sounded…. Rather hard.
Kiritsugu: Well, of course. That is because you gotta rework your body into the equipment to use magecrafts. Imagine you surpassing yourself, and break through your limits. Shirou, this is a battle for you to surpass yourself.
Shirou: Un. If it’s that so, I will never lose. I will try my best.
Kiritsugu: The self-assurance required to draw an image. You better think of a word that’d become a trigger to raise your concentration level to the maximum. Just like how you push a button or turn on a switch, you need that one word that can flip your consciousness around. You need that one strong word.
Shirou: Is that something like…. A magic spell?
Kiritsugu: Well, not too far off. A spell not meant for anyone else. A spell that only has a meaning for you yourself. A word that would motivate you deep in your heart. Some phrase that’d strike a deep impression for you.
Shirou: Hmm… I see… Hmm…. It still didn’t come to me somehow.
Kiritsugu: You don’t need to scratch your head over it. You just need a very persuasive word for yourself and only you yourself. Project and image of your own body, and declare your virtual consciousness. Your double, as if you are going to trace it, and look around it.
Shirou: ‘Trace’?
Kiritsugu: It means to copy something, I guess..?
Shirou: Just like how you push a button…. Just like how you press a switch… To trace yourself…
Kiritsugu: Yep…. You don’t need to rush your decisions now. Think about it carefully.
Shirou: Understood….. ‘Trace’…… Trace, huh?