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Destination Wedding (2018)

theaceboyyat Aug 24th, 2019 142 Never
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  1. 1
  2. 00:00:48,003 --> 00:00:52,199
  3. Subtitles by explosiveskull
  4.  
  5. 2
  6. 00:00:52,201 --> 00:00:54,498
  7. <i>Why wouldn't we
  8. bring up the first amendment?</i>
  9.  
  10. 3
  11. 00:00:54,500 --> 00:00:57,764
  12. <i>We have to stick to the constitution.
  13. That is what made this country.</i>
  14.  
  15. 4
  16. 00:01:25,834 --> 00:01:27,167
  17. Don't die.
  18.  
  19. 5
  20. 00:01:29,766 --> 00:01:31,666
  21. Come on, photosynthesis.
  22.  
  23. 6
  24. 00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:18,065
  25. - That's a nice dress.
  26. - Oh. Thank you.
  27.  
  28. 7
  29. 00:02:18,067 --> 00:02:20,134
  30. - I like your jacket.
  31. - Thanks.
  32.  
  33. 8
  34. 00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:26,165
  35. - I hope our flight's on time.
  36. - Oh, it is. See?
  37.  
  38. 9
  39. 00:02:26,167 --> 00:02:30,032
  40. This airline has an excellent
  41. arrival-departure record.
  42.  
  43. 10
  44. 00:02:30,034 --> 00:02:31,932
  45. Um, I Googled it.
  46.  
  47. 11
  48. 00:02:31,934 --> 00:02:34,832
  49. And, um, it has a 98...
  50.  
  51. 12
  52. 00:02:34,834 --> 00:02:37,132
  53. No 96,
  54. no 98 percent approval...
  55.  
  56. 13
  57. 00:02:37,134 --> 00:02:39,597
  58. online user
  59. approval rating.
  60.  
  61. 14
  62. 00:02:39,599 --> 00:02:42,099
  63. Which is very incredibly
  64. high, obviously.
  65.  
  66. 15
  67. 00:02:42,101 --> 00:02:45,732
  68. Um, and Rancho Cucamonga
  69. Mary sent me three,
  70.  
  71. 16
  72. 00:02:45,734 --> 00:02:49,633
  73. who I trust implicitly,
  74. was very effusive about it.
  75.  
  76. 17
  77. 00:02:52,034 --> 00:02:53,901
  78. - Yeah.
  79. - And you get a snack.
  80.  
  81. 18
  82. 00:02:54,901 --> 00:02:56,530
  83. Great.
  84.  
  85. 19
  86. 00:02:57,934 --> 00:02:59,899
  87. - I'm sorry, what was that?
  88. - What?
  89.  
  90. 20
  91. 00:02:59,901 --> 00:03:01,530
  92. You just took
  93. a step forward there.
  94.  
  95. 21
  96. 00:03:01,532 --> 00:03:03,932
  97. - I didn't.
  98. - Yeah, you did. You know you did.
  99.  
  100. 22
  101. 00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:05,832
  102. - I didn't realize.
  103. - Oh, I see.
  104.  
  105. 23
  106. 00:03:05,834 --> 00:03:07,631
  107. I beg your pardon?
  108.  
  109. 24
  110. 00:03:07,633 --> 00:03:11,798
  111. - I s-see what you did. I know what you did. It's...
  112. - What did I do?
  113.  
  114. 25
  115. 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:17,465
  116. You came up alongside me, you know, with
  117. your jacket and your face and charm,
  118.  
  119. 26
  120. 00:03:17,467 --> 00:03:21,232
  121. and you just, you know, talked to
  122. me for a strategic amount of time,
  123.  
  124. 27
  125. 00:03:21,234 --> 00:03:22,932
  126. established your position,
  127.  
  128. 28
  129. 00:03:22,934 --> 00:03:26,798
  130. and then just casually, blatantly
  131. stepped in front of me.
  132.  
  133. 29
  134. 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:28,631
  135. Like I had
  136. some sort of amnesia
  137.  
  138. 30
  139. 00:03:28,633 --> 00:03:31,132
  140. and couldn't remember 15 seconds in
  141. the past when you were behind me.
  142.  
  143. 31
  144. 00:03:31,134 --> 00:03:33,631
  145. Untrue.
  146.  
  147. 32
  148. 00:03:33,633 --> 00:03:35,832
  149. Oh my... You just
  150. did it again.
  151.  
  152. 33
  153. 00:03:35,834 --> 00:03:39,065
  154. This is like watching a
  155. master at work in his dojo.
  156.  
  157. 34
  158. 00:03:39,067 --> 00:03:40,965
  159. - I mean...
  160. - Here's what happened.
  161.  
  162. 35
  163. 00:03:40,967 --> 00:03:43,765
  164. I came to my gate, hoping
  165. my flight was on time.
  166.  
  167. 36
  168. 00:03:43,767 --> 00:03:45,832
  169. I then attempted to start
  170. a pleasant conversation,
  171.  
  172. 37
  173. 00:03:45,834 --> 00:03:48,765
  174. whereupon you revealed the tip of
  175. the iceberg of your tendencies,
  176.  
  177. 38
  178. 00:03:48,767 --> 00:03:51,698
  179. and I was forced to take a step
  180. forward to escape the vortex.
  181.  
  182. 39
  183. 00:03:51,700 --> 00:03:54,932
  184. Oh, my God.
  185. Oh... Again! Oh!
  186.  
  187. 40
  188. 00:03:54,934 --> 00:03:58,232
  189. And now you're casting me as the author
  190. of a Byzantine conspiracy theory
  191.  
  192. 41
  193. 00:03:58,234 --> 00:04:00,597
  194. of a Machiavellian land grab
  195.  
  196. 42
  197. 00:04:00,599 --> 00:04:04,099
  198. designed to usurp your position on
  199. an aircraft that has eight seats.
  200.  
  201. 43
  202. 00:04:04,101 --> 00:04:06,099
  203. You know what? Okay.
  204.  
  205. 44
  206. 00:04:06,101 --> 00:04:10,232
  207. That's cra... If I'm wrong, just step in
  208. back of me instead of in front of me.
  209.  
  210. 45
  211. 00:04:10,234 --> 00:04:12,631
  212. No, because that would mean
  213. going past you again.
  214.  
  215. 46
  216. 00:04:12,633 --> 00:04:15,631
  217. I see. You know what?
  218.  
  219. 47
  220. 00:04:15,633 --> 00:04:19,999
  221. Five years ago, I would have said
  222. something trite like, "Chivalry is dead."
  223.  
  224. 48
  225. 00:04:20,001 --> 00:04:22,099
  226. But this is worse
  227. than unchivalrous.
  228.  
  229. 49
  230. 00:04:22,101 --> 00:04:25,965
  231. This is... You are
  232. part and parcel of a world
  233.  
  234. 50
  235. 00:04:25,967 --> 00:04:28,999
  236. that no longer has any
  237. idea how to behave itself.
  238.  
  239. 51
  240. 00:04:29,001 --> 00:04:32,597
  241. In fact, I draw a straight
  242. line between people like you
  243.  
  244. 52
  245. 00:04:32,599 --> 00:04:36,464
  246. to investment bankers to
  247. politicians to terrorists.
  248.  
  249. 53
  250. 00:04:36,466 --> 00:04:41,132
  251. You basically all have the same contempt
  252. for decency and rules and any manners.
  253.  
  254. 54
  255. 00:04:41,134 --> 00:04:44,765
  256. And what's funny is there's
  257. no way you can board first
  258.  
  259. 55
  260. 00:04:44,767 --> 00:04:47,132
  261. because the only way you could board
  262. first is if you had a special need.
  263.  
  264. 56
  265. 00:04:47,134 --> 00:04:48,932
  266. Do you have
  267. a special need?
  268.  
  269. 57
  270. 00:04:48,934 --> 00:04:52,065
  271. Yes, I need
  272. to be over there.
  273.  
  274. 58
  275. 00:05:01,967 --> 00:05:03,634
  276. Fucker.
  277.  
  278. 59
  279. 00:05:30,934 --> 00:05:32,734
  280. - Fantastic.
  281. - Wonderful.
  282.  
  283. 60
  284. 00:05:34,466 --> 00:05:37,165
  285. - Anybody want to trade seats?
  286. - You're ridiculous.
  287.  
  288. 61
  289. 00:05:37,167 --> 00:05:39,765
  290. Anybody?
  291. It's great back here.
  292.  
  293. 62
  294. 00:05:39,767 --> 00:05:42,134
  295. You've got
  296. to be kidding me.
  297.  
  298. 63
  299. 00:05:46,634 --> 00:05:47,734
  300. Jesus.
  301.  
  302. 64
  303. 00:05:57,667 --> 00:05:59,399
  304. What brings you
  305. to San Luis Obispo?
  306.  
  307. 65
  308. 00:06:00,466 --> 00:06:02,132
  309. - You don't have to.
  310. - What?
  311.  
  312. 66
  313. 00:06:02,134 --> 00:06:05,798
  314. Talk. Honestly, I'd be
  315. happier if you didn't.
  316.  
  317. 67
  318. 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:06,867
  319. Fine.
  320.  
  321. 68
  322. 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:29,099
  323. Dear God.
  324. Tear it at the notch.
  325.  
  326. 69
  327. 00:06:29,101 --> 00:06:31,464
  328. There is no notch.
  329.  
  330. 70
  331. 00:06:31,466 --> 00:06:33,232
  332. - Give it to me.
  333. - I'm not giving you...
  334.  
  335. 71
  336. 00:06:33,234 --> 00:06:34,234
  337. Give it to me.
  338.  
  339. 72
  340. 00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:52,134
  341. This one does not appear
  342. to have a working notch.
  343.  
  344. 73
  345. 00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:00,001
  346. Yeah.
  347.  
  348. 74
  349. 00:07:01,067 --> 00:07:02,134
  350. Yeah.
  351.  
  352. 75
  353. 00:07:10,101 --> 00:07:11,667
  354. All that...
  355.  
  356. 76
  357. 00:07:15,667 --> 00:07:16,834
  358. Thank you.
  359.  
  360. 77
  361. 00:07:38,634 --> 00:07:40,634
  362. I'm actually
  363. going to Paso Robles.
  364.  
  365. 78
  366. 00:07:41,767 --> 00:07:43,865
  367. They call it Paso "Roables."
  368.  
  369. 79
  370. 00:07:43,867 --> 00:07:46,231
  371. Well, the correct
  372. pronunciation is Robles.
  373.  
  374. 80
  375. 00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:48,498
  376. But they call it "Roables."
  377.  
  378. 81
  379. 00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:50,099
  380. - Whatever.
  381. - I hope it's a big place.
  382.  
  383. 82
  384. 00:07:50,101 --> 00:07:51,832
  385. It isn't.
  386.  
  387. 83
  388. 00:07:51,834 --> 00:07:54,531
  389. If I see you at a restaurant,
  390. I'll go to another restaurant.
  391.  
  392. 84
  393. 00:07:54,533 --> 00:07:56,598
  394. I'm not going to be
  395. in any restaurants.
  396.  
  397. 85
  398. 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:59,965
  399. Why? Are you checking
  400. into a mental institution?
  401.  
  402. 86
  403. 00:07:59,967 --> 00:08:04,634
  404. I'm going to that most presumptuous
  405. of all things, a destination wedding.
  406.  
  407. 87
  408. 00:08:06,533 --> 00:08:08,667
  409. Please don't tell me
  410. it's Keith and Anne's.
  411.  
  412. 88
  413. 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:13,032
  414. How many weddings
  415. can there possibly be
  416.  
  417. 89
  418. 00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:15,231
  419. on any given day
  420. in Paso Robles?
  421.  
  422. 90
  423. 00:08:15,233 --> 00:08:17,132
  424. I was praying for two.
  425.  
  426. 91
  427. 00:08:17,134 --> 00:08:19,798
  428. And I was blaming Satan
  429. for my seat assignment
  430.  
  431. 92
  432. 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:22,498
  433. when it was actually
  434. just Keith's assistant.
  435.  
  436. 93
  437. 00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:24,632
  438. And how do you know
  439. the esteemed Keith?
  440.  
  441. 94
  442. 00:08:24,634 --> 00:08:26,899
  443. I was engaged to him
  444. six years ago.
  445.  
  446. 95
  447. 00:08:26,901 --> 00:08:29,665
  448. - Oh, my God, you're Lindsay.
  449. - Why, how do you know him?
  450.  
  451. 96
  452. 00:08:29,667 --> 00:08:31,498
  453. He and I have
  454. the same mother.
  455.  
  456. 97
  457. 00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:33,001
  458. Holy shit,
  459. you're Frank?
  460.  
  461. 98
  462. 00:08:34,567 --> 00:08:36,965
  463. Oh, you're even worse
  464. than he said.
  465.  
  466. 99
  467. 00:08:36,967 --> 00:08:38,632
  468. You too.
  469.  
  470. 100
  471. 00:08:47,901 --> 00:08:50,498
  472. Oh, my God.
  473.  
  474. 101
  475. 00:08:50,500 --> 00:08:52,001
  476. Serious...
  477.  
  478. 102
  479. 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:22,164
  480. - There was supposed to be a car.
  481. - Our flight was early.
  482.  
  483. 103
  484. 00:09:22,166 --> 00:09:23,899
  485. Really?
  486. It seemed so long.
  487.  
  488. 104
  489. 00:09:23,901 --> 00:09:27,498
  490. <i>Attention, passengers,
  491. increased security measures</i>
  492.  
  493. 105
  494. 00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,665
  495. <i>require all passengers
  496. to maintain</i>
  497.  
  498. 106
  499. 00:09:29,667 --> 00:09:32,899
  500. <i>close personal contact
  501. with your bags at all times.</i>
  502.  
  503. 107
  504. 00:09:41,634 --> 00:09:44,598
  505. So how much do you know about what
  506. happened between me and Keith?
  507.  
  508. 108
  509. 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:47,198
  510. I know that he broke off your engagement
  511. five weeks before the wedding.
  512.  
  513. 109
  514. 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:48,798
  515. And now I know why.
  516.  
  517. 110
  518. 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:50,765
  519. He said some shit
  520. about you, boy.
  521.  
  522. 111
  523. 00:09:50,767 --> 00:09:52,965
  524. - Like what?
  525. - Doesn't matter.
  526.  
  527. 112
  528. 00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:56,198
  529. Don't do that, don't dangle an injurious
  530. tidbit and then snatch it away.
  531.  
  532. 113
  533. 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:58,632
  534. Or what, I'll die alone?
  535.  
  536. 114
  537. 00:09:58,634 --> 00:10:00,565
  538. Keith is a panhandling
  539. piece of garbage,
  540.  
  541. 115
  542. 00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:01,965
  543. and you're better off
  544. without him.
  545.  
  546. 116
  547. 00:10:01,967 --> 00:10:05,032
  548. Which is saying something,
  549. considering how bad off you are.
  550.  
  551. 117
  552. 00:10:05,034 --> 00:10:07,598
  553. Just pity the bride,
  554. whoever she is.
  555.  
  556. 118
  557. 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:10,732
  558. - You haven't met her?
  559. - Just like I never met you.
  560.  
  561. 119
  562. 00:10:10,734 --> 00:10:13,531
  563. I stay as far away
  564. from Keith as I can.
  565.  
  566. 120
  567. 00:10:13,533 --> 00:10:16,999
  568. My mother insisted I turn up for this shit show,
  569. otherwise, I wouldn't be meeting you now.
  570.  
  571. 121
  572. 00:10:17,001 --> 00:10:19,465
  573. Isn't that nice
  574. to think about?
  575.  
  576. 122
  577. 00:10:19,467 --> 00:10:21,665
  578. She said it's important to show
  579. up because if you show up,
  580.  
  581. 123
  582. 00:10:21,667 --> 00:10:24,032
  583. the worst they can say is you're
  584. horrendous, which is subjective.
  585.  
  586. 124
  587. 00:10:24,034 --> 00:10:26,498
  588. But not showing up
  589. is objective.
  590.  
  591. 125
  592. 00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:27,867
  593. Well, you showed up.
  594.  
  595. 126
  596. 00:10:29,001 --> 00:10:30,665
  597. Why would you come
  598. to his wedding?
  599.  
  600. 127
  601. 00:10:30,667 --> 00:10:32,198
  602. He broke your heart,
  603. as I recall.
  604.  
  605. 128
  606. 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,131
  607. Shattered, yes.
  608.  
  609. 129
  610. 00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:35,798
  611. Didn't you wind up
  612. suing him?
  613.  
  614. 130
  615. 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:37,965
  616. Well, I needed to lash out.
  617.  
  618. 131
  619. 00:10:37,967 --> 00:10:41,565
  620. Plus he cost my parents
  621. $32,000 in deposits.
  622.  
  623. 132
  624. 00:10:41,567 --> 00:10:43,198
  625. - Did you win?
  626. - There was a settlement.
  627.  
  628. 133
  629. 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:44,899
  630. Did you feel better?
  631.  
  632. 134
  633. 00:10:44,901 --> 00:10:47,999
  634. Look, I came
  635. because he invited me.
  636.  
  637. 135
  638. 00:10:48,001 --> 00:10:50,798
  639. He only invited you because he
  640. wanted to act like a big person,
  641.  
  642. 136
  643. 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:53,832
  644. not because he, in any way,
  645. wanted you to come.
  646.  
  647. 137
  648. 00:10:53,834 --> 00:10:58,732
  649. You think I wanted to come? I'm
  650. just trying to be the big person.
  651.  
  652. 138
  653. 00:10:58,734 --> 00:11:01,867
  654. See, this only works if one of
  655. you actually is a big person.
  656.  
  657. 139
  658. 00:11:03,001 --> 00:11:05,698
  659. Well, also, I need closure.
  660.  
  661. 140
  662. 00:11:05,700 --> 00:11:08,698
  663. You don't have closure?
  664. It was six years ago.
  665.  
  666. 141
  667. 00:11:08,700 --> 00:11:11,665
  668. Do I strike you as someone
  669. who has closure?
  670.  
  671. 142
  672. 00:11:11,667 --> 00:11:14,064
  673. He's marrying someone else.
  674. That's closure.
  675.  
  676. 143
  677. 00:11:14,066 --> 00:11:15,498
  678. It's closed.
  679.  
  680. 144
  681. 00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:18,665
  682. Closed is not
  683. the same thing as closure.
  684.  
  685. 145
  686. 00:11:28,867 --> 00:11:30,734
  687. Any chance
  688. they sent two cars?
  689.  
  690. 146
  691. 00:12:00,734 --> 00:12:02,732
  692. So, what do you do, Frank?
  693.  
  694. 147
  695. 00:12:02,734 --> 00:12:06,064
  696. That is, when you're not shining
  697. your light upon the world.
  698.  
  699. 148
  700. 00:12:06,066 --> 00:12:08,498
  701. I run marketing
  702. for J.D. Power and Associates.
  703.  
  704. 149
  705. 00:12:08,500 --> 00:12:10,199
  706. The "Car of the Year" people?
  707.  
  708. 150
  709. 00:12:10,201 --> 00:12:11,998
  710. No, that's a magazine.
  711.  
  712. 151
  713. 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,165
  714. I bought one of your cars of the year.
  715. It was a piece of crap.
  716.  
  717. 152
  718. 00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:16,632
  719. Again, a magazine.
  720. Common error.
  721.  
  722. 153
  723. 00:12:16,634 --> 00:12:18,199
  724. Is that the career
  725. you dreamed of?
  726.  
  727. 154
  728. 00:12:18,201 --> 00:12:20,865
  729. Handing out awards
  730. by the fistful?
  731.  
  732. 155
  733. 00:12:20,867 --> 00:12:23,798
  734. Hugely successful company,
  735. extremely well-respected.
  736.  
  737. 156
  738. 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:27,498
  739. It's corporate brownnosing
  740. on a national scale.
  741.  
  742. 157
  743. 00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:29,765
  744. International.
  745. And don't sleep on awards.
  746.  
  747. 158
  748. 00:12:29,767 --> 00:12:31,832
  749. Our country lives
  750. on self-congratulation.
  751.  
  752. 159
  753. 00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:32,964
  754. Let me ask you this.
  755.  
  756. 160
  757. 00:12:32,966 --> 00:12:34,832
  758. Has there ever been a car
  759.  
  760. 161
  761. 00:12:34,834 --> 00:12:37,798
  762. that wasn't a J.D. Power
  763. and Associates Car of the Year?
  764.  
  765. 162
  766. 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:40,165
  767. We don't do "Car of the
  768. Year." That's a magazine.
  769.  
  770. 163
  771. 00:12:40,167 --> 00:12:41,998
  772. I've seen those
  773. Lucite trophies.
  774.  
  775. 164
  776. 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,767
  777. They're on every car commercial
  778. for every car, ever.
  779.  
  780. 165
  781. 00:12:48,867 --> 00:12:51,232
  782. What do you do anyway?
  783.  
  784. 166
  785. 00:12:51,234 --> 00:12:54,232
  786. I prosecute companies
  787. and institutions
  788.  
  789. 167
  790. 00:12:54,234 --> 00:12:56,867
  791. for culturally insensitive
  792. actions or speech.
  793.  
  794. 168
  795. 00:12:59,100 --> 00:13:01,132
  796. You're the politically
  797. correct police.
  798.  
  799. 169
  800. 00:13:01,134 --> 00:13:02,798
  801. No.
  802.  
  803. 170
  804. 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:04,998
  805. You parse what people say and
  806. do, and then accuse them
  807.  
  808. 171
  809. 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:08,531
  810. of being racist or misogynist
  811. or otherwise horrible.
  812.  
  813. 172
  814. 00:13:08,533 --> 00:13:10,665
  815. You destroy lives
  816. and reputations for money.
  817.  
  818. 173
  819. 00:13:10,667 --> 00:13:12,465
  820. No.
  821.  
  822. 174
  823. 00:13:12,467 --> 00:13:14,867
  824. Is that what you dreamed of?
  825. A career in reverse fascism?
  826.  
  827. 175
  828. 00:13:17,700 --> 00:13:19,167
  829. I can't remember dreaming.
  830.  
  831. 176
  832. 00:14:52,201 --> 00:14:53,734
  833. Wrong!
  834.  
  835. 177
  836. 00:14:57,034 --> 00:14:59,101
  837. I thought this was my closet.
  838.  
  839. 178
  840. 00:15:01,866 --> 00:15:03,734
  841. Are you expecting
  842. a response of some kind?
  843.  
  844. 179
  845. 00:15:04,900 --> 00:15:06,565
  846. No.
  847.  
  848. 180
  849. 00:15:06,567 --> 00:15:10,565
  850. Uh, I see now that there
  851. is a bolt on the door.
  852.  
  853. 181
  854. 00:15:10,567 --> 00:15:12,465
  855. So, we should use it.
  856.  
  857. 182
  858. 00:15:12,467 --> 00:15:13,767
  859. Yep.
  860.  
  861. 183
  862. 00:15:59,733 --> 00:16:02,165
  863. - How's your room?
  864. - I'm just sleeping there.
  865.  
  866. 184
  867. 00:16:02,167 --> 00:16:03,831
  868. How's yours?
  869.  
  870. 185
  871. 00:16:03,833 --> 00:16:06,531
  872. I'll let you know after I run
  873. a UV light over the sheets.
  874.  
  875. 186
  876. 00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:08,132
  877. We really shouldn't
  878. speak anymore.
  879.  
  880. 187
  881. 00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:09,831
  882. If you think that's best.
  883.  
  884. 188
  885. 00:16:09,833 --> 00:16:11,665
  886. Do you think Keith
  887. is trying to fix us up?
  888.  
  889. 189
  890. 00:16:11,667 --> 00:16:12,932
  891. Even he is smarter
  892. than that.
  893.  
  894. 190
  895. 00:16:12,934 --> 00:16:15,999
  896. I don't know.
  897. I mean, same flight.
  898.  
  899. 191
  900. 00:16:16,001 --> 00:16:18,132
  901. Seated next to each other
  902. on the plane.
  903.  
  904. 192
  905. 00:16:18,134 --> 00:16:20,632
  906. Adjoining rooms.
  907. Seated next to each other here.
  908.  
  909. 193
  910. 00:16:20,634 --> 00:16:22,999
  911. You think that's
  912. all just coincidence?
  913.  
  914. 194
  915. 00:16:23,001 --> 00:16:26,465
  916. Keith has never had a thought
  917. about another human being.
  918.  
  919. 195
  920. 00:16:26,467 --> 00:16:29,665
  921. So we're just the people
  922. you don't know where to stick?
  923.  
  924. 196
  925. 00:16:29,667 --> 00:16:31,764
  926. Might as well
  927. just stick us together.
  928.  
  929. 197
  930. 00:16:31,766 --> 00:16:34,065
  931. I don't want to be a person
  932. you don't know where to stick.
  933.  
  934. 198
  935. 00:16:34,067 --> 00:16:36,797
  936. That is not the life
  937. I imagined for myself.
  938.  
  939. 199
  940. 00:16:36,799 --> 00:16:39,999
  941. I'm sure your next life
  942. will be better.
  943.  
  944. 200
  945. 00:16:40,001 --> 00:16:43,831
  946. Welp, here we go.
  947.  
  948. 201
  949. 00:16:43,833 --> 00:16:44,899
  950. So that's her.
  951.  
  952. 202
  953. 00:16:44,901 --> 00:16:46,467
  954. Yep.
  955.  
  956. 203
  957. 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:50,032
  958. She is a tall glass
  959. of hemlock.
  960.  
  961. 204
  962. 00:16:50,034 --> 00:16:51,965
  963. - She's Danish.
  964. - Dutch, I thought.
  965.  
  966. 205
  967. 00:16:51,967 --> 00:16:53,465
  968. Danish.
  969. From Denmark.
  970.  
  971. 206
  972. 00:16:53,467 --> 00:16:55,199
  973. I know where
  974. Danish are from.
  975.  
  976. 207
  977. 00:16:55,201 --> 00:16:56,965
  978. He looks the same
  979. as he used to.
  980.  
  981. 208
  982. 00:16:56,967 --> 00:16:58,598
  983. Plastic people don't age.
  984.  
  985. 209
  986. 00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:00,165
  987. Well, I was hoping he had.
  988.  
  989. 210
  990. 00:17:00,167 --> 00:17:05,032
  991. I was hoping he'd be less attractive
  992. or on his way to obesity.
  993.  
  994. 211
  995. 00:17:05,034 --> 00:17:07,867
  996. Is this the first time you've seen
  997. him since the crushing ending?
  998.  
  999. 212
  1000. 00:17:09,234 --> 00:17:10,899
  1001. - Is it bad?
  1002. - Yep.
  1003.  
  1004. 213
  1005. 00:17:10,901 --> 00:17:13,134
  1006. - As bad as you feared?
  1007. - Yeah. Worse.
  1008.  
  1009. 214
  1010. 00:17:16,167 --> 00:17:20,132
  1011. - How can this be the way the species is set up?
  1012. - I'm sorry?
  1013.  
  1014. 215
  1015. 00:17:20,134 --> 00:17:23,232
  1016. How can we be allowed
  1017. to feel so much for people
  1018.  
  1019. 216
  1020. 00:17:23,234 --> 00:17:25,664
  1021. who don't feel
  1022. anything for us?
  1023.  
  1024. 217
  1025. 00:17:25,666 --> 00:17:28,632
  1026. You're assuming that you're
  1027. normal, which is hilarious.
  1028.  
  1029. 218
  1030. 00:17:28,634 --> 00:17:31,797
  1031. - It's incredibly cruel.
  1032. - Well, look at it this way.
  1033.  
  1034. 219
  1035. 00:17:31,799 --> 00:17:35,065
  1036. For a time, you carved out a place in his life
  1037. when there really shouldn't have been one.
  1038.  
  1039. 220
  1040. 00:17:35,067 --> 00:17:36,731
  1041. That makes me a dipshit.
  1042.  
  1043. 221
  1044. 00:17:36,733 --> 00:17:39,032
  1045. I agree.
  1046. I was just humoring you.
  1047.  
  1048. 222
  1049. 00:17:39,034 --> 00:17:40,832
  1050. The truth is,
  1051. from puberty on in,
  1052.  
  1053. 223
  1054. 00:17:40,834 --> 00:17:43,132
  1055. we should all just
  1056. be playing defense.
  1057.  
  1058. 224
  1059. 00:17:43,134 --> 00:17:45,633
  1060. - "On in"? On in to what?
  1061. - Death.
  1062.  
  1063. 225
  1064. 00:17:47,699 --> 00:17:49,165
  1065. - Oh, God.
  1066. - Officer on deck.
  1067.  
  1068. 226
  1069. 00:17:49,167 --> 00:17:51,565
  1070. - So you got to know Mom.
  1071. - Plenty well enough.
  1072.  
  1073. 227
  1074. 00:17:51,567 --> 00:17:52,797
  1075. So you met her twice.
  1076.  
  1077. 228
  1078. 00:17:54,967 --> 00:17:56,598
  1079. Howard.
  1080.  
  1081. 229
  1082. 00:17:56,600 --> 00:18:00,232
  1083. - Oh, this fucking guy.
  1084. - Who's he with?
  1085.  
  1086. 230
  1087. 00:18:00,234 --> 00:18:01,598
  1088. His girlfriend.
  1089.  
  1090. 231
  1091. 00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:03,232
  1092. Howard left your mother?
  1093.  
  1094. 232
  1095. 00:18:03,234 --> 00:18:06,199
  1096. "Left" is not
  1097. a strong enough word. Fled.
  1098.  
  1099. 233
  1100. 00:18:06,201 --> 00:18:08,932
  1101. - For an older woman?
  1102. - He would have left for an otter.
  1103.  
  1104. 234
  1105. 00:18:08,934 --> 00:18:12,132
  1106. - Anyway, leaving is leaving.
  1107. - No, no.
  1108.  
  1109. 235
  1110. 00:18:12,134 --> 00:18:15,697
  1111. Leaving for a younger woman
  1112. is awful, it's horrible.
  1113.  
  1114. 236
  1115. 00:18:15,699 --> 00:18:19,498
  1116. But leaving for an older
  1117. woman is perverse.
  1118.  
  1119. 237
  1120. 00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:21,731
  1121. Mom would have been just
  1122. as angry about a younger one.
  1123.  
  1124. 238
  1125. 00:18:21,733 --> 00:18:24,065
  1126. Yeah, but she would've
  1127. been able to use her age
  1128.  
  1129. 239
  1130. 00:18:24,067 --> 00:18:26,999
  1131. to rail against
  1132. a gender-unfair society.
  1133.  
  1134. 240
  1135. 00:18:27,001 --> 00:18:29,999
  1136. I mean, leaving for a younger
  1137. woman's the least he could've done.
  1138.  
  1139. 241
  1140. 00:18:30,001 --> 00:18:31,999
  1141. My father left her
  1142. for a younger woman.
  1143.  
  1144. 242
  1145. 00:18:32,001 --> 00:18:34,631
  1146. She can think about that,
  1147. when she wants to cheer up.
  1148.  
  1149. 243
  1150. 00:18:34,633 --> 00:18:38,032
  1151. But she and your father eventually
  1152. made peace though, didn't they?
  1153.  
  1154. 244
  1155. 00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:40,199
  1156. Yep. Dad jumped out
  1157. a seventh-floor window,
  1158.  
  1159. 245
  1160. 00:18:40,201 --> 00:18:42,099
  1161. and Mom considered them
  1162. all square.
  1163.  
  1164. 246
  1165. 00:18:42,101 --> 00:18:43,832
  1166. - I'm sorry?
  1167. - Don't be.
  1168.  
  1169. 247
  1170. 00:18:43,834 --> 00:18:45,597
  1171. I was not a fan.
  1172.  
  1173. 248
  1174. 00:18:45,599 --> 00:18:48,199
  1175. Well, you're not a fan of
  1176. many people, is my sense.
  1177.  
  1178. 249
  1179. 00:18:48,201 --> 00:18:49,999
  1180. Well, this person
  1181. shot me, so...
  1182.  
  1183. 250
  1184. 00:18:50,001 --> 00:18:52,232
  1185. - He shot you?
  1186. - He did.
  1187.  
  1188. 251
  1189. 00:18:52,234 --> 00:18:55,765
  1190. He said I was the embodiment
  1191. of all his bad choices.
  1192.  
  1193. 252
  1194. 00:18:55,767 --> 00:18:58,165
  1195. - Did it hurt?
  1196. - Did it hurt?
  1197.  
  1198. 253
  1199. 00:18:58,167 --> 00:18:59,932
  1200. Is that a serious question?
  1201.  
  1202. 254
  1203. 00:18:59,934 --> 00:19:01,832
  1204. There's a metal missile
  1205. going into your body.
  1206.  
  1207. 255
  1208. 00:19:01,834 --> 00:19:03,899
  1209. Yes, it hurt.
  1210. It hurt a great deal.
  1211.  
  1212. 256
  1213. 00:19:03,901 --> 00:19:05,865
  1214. Well, what did you do?
  1215.  
  1216. 257
  1217. 00:19:05,867 --> 00:19:06,965
  1218. I ran at him.
  1219.  
  1220. 258
  1221. 00:19:06,967 --> 00:19:08,832
  1222. You ran at him?
  1223.  
  1224. 259
  1225. 00:19:08,834 --> 00:19:10,498
  1226. Why didn't you
  1227. run away from him?
  1228.  
  1229. 260
  1230. 00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:12,664
  1231. That didn't occur to me.
  1232. I was pissed off.
  1233.  
  1234. 261
  1235. 00:19:12,666 --> 00:19:15,165
  1236. He tried to shoot me again,
  1237. but he missed.
  1238.  
  1239. 262
  1240. 00:19:15,167 --> 00:19:19,465
  1241. I got the gun out of his hand, hit him in
  1242. the face with it, broke his orbital bone.
  1243.  
  1244. 263
  1245. 00:19:19,467 --> 00:19:21,899
  1246. - What did he do?
  1247. - He cried.
  1248.  
  1249. 264
  1250. 00:19:21,901 --> 00:19:23,398
  1251. Begged me to kill him.
  1252. I wouldn't.
  1253.  
  1254. 265
  1255. 00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:26,564
  1256. Not because I didn't want to, but because
  1257. I didn't want to fuck up my life.
  1258.  
  1259. 266
  1260. 00:19:26,566 --> 00:19:29,032
  1261. I mean, any more
  1262. than it already was.
  1263.  
  1264. 267
  1265. 00:19:29,034 --> 00:19:30,697
  1266. Turned out I didn't
  1267. have to kill him though,
  1268.  
  1269. 268
  1270. 00:19:30,699 --> 00:19:33,132
  1271. because that night,
  1272. he jumped.
  1273.  
  1274. 269
  1275. 00:19:33,134 --> 00:19:35,697
  1276. It's quite a family.
  1277.  
  1278. 270
  1279. 00:19:35,699 --> 00:19:38,032
  1280. Nobody's arguing.
  1281.  
  1282. 271
  1283. 00:19:38,034 --> 00:19:42,032
  1284. You can't call a
  1285. 78-year-old woman your "girlfriend."
  1286.  
  1287. 272
  1288. 00:19:42,034 --> 00:19:43,530
  1289. It's ridiculous.
  1290.  
  1291. 273
  1292. 00:19:43,532 --> 00:19:44,932
  1293. What should I call her then?
  1294.  
  1295. 274
  1296. 00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:48,932
  1297. I don't know. An ossified,
  1298. pre-dead corpse-friend?
  1299.  
  1300. 275
  1301. 00:19:48,934 --> 00:19:51,232
  1302. Is that in the politically
  1303. correct handbook?
  1304.  
  1305. 276
  1306. 00:19:51,234 --> 00:19:53,232
  1307. I'm off the clock.
  1308.  
  1309. 277
  1310. 00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:55,132
  1311. She just needs a little
  1312. more hair and makeup.
  1313.  
  1314. 278
  1315. 00:19:55,134 --> 00:19:57,932
  1316. I think we passed
  1317. a mortician on the way in.
  1318.  
  1319. 279
  1320. 00:19:57,934 --> 00:19:59,631
  1321. Travel with her
  1322. on your arm,
  1323.  
  1324. 280
  1325. 00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:02,165
  1326. you'd better know where the
  1327. funeral parlors are at all times.
  1328.  
  1329. 281
  1330. 00:20:02,167 --> 00:20:05,465
  1331. And by "On your arm,"
  1332. you mean both figuratively
  1333.  
  1334. 282
  1335. 00:20:05,467 --> 00:20:08,032
  1336. and for actual
  1337. physical support.
  1338.  
  1339. 283
  1340. 00:20:08,034 --> 00:20:10,597
  1341. - I've never met her.
  1342. - Better hurry.
  1343.  
  1344. 284
  1345. 00:20:10,599 --> 00:20:13,132
  1346. I guess the heart wants
  1347. what the heart wants.
  1348.  
  1349. 285
  1350. 00:20:13,134 --> 00:20:15,732
  1351. Or whatever the
  1352. pacemaker says it can have.
  1353.  
  1354. 286
  1355. 00:20:15,734 --> 00:20:17,530
  1356. Apparently,
  1357. they went to the same college.
  1358.  
  1359. 287
  1360. 00:20:17,532 --> 00:20:19,698
  1361. She was a senior
  1362. when he was a freshman.
  1363.  
  1364. 288
  1365. 00:20:19,700 --> 00:20:21,999
  1366. Well, she's a senior again.
  1367.  
  1368. 289
  1369. 00:20:23,934 --> 00:20:27,665
  1370. - Are you gonna say hello?
  1371. - Yep. Are you?
  1372.  
  1373. 290
  1374. 00:20:27,667 --> 00:20:29,999
  1375. Yep.
  1376.  
  1377. 291
  1378. 00:20:30,001 --> 00:20:31,832
  1379. Have a nice time.
  1380.  
  1381. 292
  1382. 00:21:40,767 --> 00:21:44,032
  1383. - You okay?
  1384. - Nope. You?
  1385.  
  1386. 293
  1387. 00:21:44,034 --> 00:21:46,134
  1388. I'm all fucked up
  1389. and I always will be.
  1390.  
  1391. 294
  1392. 00:21:47,867 --> 00:21:52,867
  1393. You think anyone will notice
  1394. if I... go back to the hotel?
  1395.  
  1396. 295
  1397. 00:21:54,201 --> 00:21:55,201
  1398. Nope.
  1399.  
  1400. 296
  1401. 00:21:56,067 --> 00:21:57,067
  1402. Yeah.
  1403.  
  1404. 297
  1405. 00:21:58,566 --> 00:21:59,566
  1406. All right.
  1407.  
  1408. 298
  1409. 00:22:19,734 --> 00:22:22,632
  1410. Psst.
  1411.  
  1412. 299
  1413. 00:22:22,634 --> 00:22:27,034
  1414. I mean, not to throw
  1415. stones, but he has a lot going on.
  1416.  
  1417. 300
  1418. 00:22:28,466 --> 00:22:30,832
  1419. I mean... I mean, I know
  1420. I have mine,
  1421.  
  1422. 301
  1423. 00:22:30,834 --> 00:22:33,199
  1424. but my father
  1425. never <i>shot</i> me.
  1426.  
  1427. 302
  1428. 00:22:33,201 --> 00:22:36,798
  1429. I don't think he ever
  1430. even touched a gun.
  1431.  
  1432. 303
  1433. 00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:41,032
  1434. I mean, there was that one time I
  1435. put those two boxes of Band-Aids
  1436.  
  1437. 304
  1438. 00:22:41,034 --> 00:22:45,965
  1439. on my doll and he,
  1440. like, barely patted me.
  1441.  
  1442. 305
  1443. 00:22:45,967 --> 00:22:48,698
  1444. Like, you couldn't
  1445. even call it a spanking.
  1446.  
  1447. 306
  1448. 00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:53,899
  1449. It was like... He was
  1450. apologizing forever for it.
  1451.  
  1452. 307
  1453. 00:22:53,901 --> 00:22:55,134
  1454. And he still feels bad.
  1455.  
  1456. 308
  1457. 00:22:57,466 --> 00:23:00,565
  1458. I mean, seven floors.
  1459.  
  1460. 309
  1461. 00:23:00,567 --> 00:23:03,232
  1462. I wonder if there was more
  1463. floors he could of just gone up
  1464.  
  1465. 310
  1466. 00:23:03,234 --> 00:23:04,867
  1467. so he could die instantly.
  1468.  
  1469. 311
  1470. 00:23:05,901 --> 00:23:09,065
  1471. Not like...
  1472.  
  1473. 312
  1474. 00:23:09,067 --> 00:23:11,099
  1475. Can you die... How many...
  1476.  
  1477. 313
  1478. 00:23:11,101 --> 00:23:13,167
  1479. I don't know. I guess
  1480. it depends on the building.
  1481.  
  1482. 314
  1483. 00:23:14,700 --> 00:23:16,065
  1484. Very, very...
  1485.  
  1486. 315
  1487. 00:23:16,067 --> 00:23:19,134
  1488. Just psychologically,
  1489. it's just interesting, but...
  1490.  
  1491. 316
  1492. 00:23:23,001 --> 00:23:24,865
  1493. <i>You don't think.</i>
  1494.  
  1495. 317
  1496. 00:23:24,867 --> 00:23:28,565
  1497. <i>He stole from me, from his
  1498. employer, from Katherine March.</i>
  1499.  
  1500. 318
  1501. 00:23:28,567 --> 00:23:31,867
  1502. <i>My wife... I mean
  1503. my former wife is correct.</i>
  1504.  
  1505. 319
  1506. 00:23:33,134 --> 00:23:34,466
  1507. <i>I really can paint.</i>
  1508.  
  1509. 320
  1510. 00:23:36,934 --> 00:23:39,498
  1511. <i>My copies were so bad
  1512. I had to destroy them.</i>
  1513.  
  1514. 321
  1515. 00:23:39,500 --> 00:23:41,001
  1516. <i>For God's sake, he's lying.</i>
  1517.  
  1518. 322
  1519. 00:23:43,667 --> 00:23:45,901
  1520. Because he's left-handed,
  1521. you idiot.
  1522.  
  1523. 323
  1524. 00:23:47,533 --> 00:23:50,099
  1525. <i>He told me
  1526. Miss March painted them.</i>
  1527.  
  1528. 324
  1529. 00:23:50,101 --> 00:23:51,765
  1530. <i>In my expert opinion...</i>
  1531.  
  1532. 325
  1533. 00:24:04,234 --> 00:24:08,165
  1534. <i>He said he was going to fix
  1535. it when he left my place around 2:00 a.m.</i>
  1536.  
  1537. 326
  1538. 00:24:08,167 --> 00:24:11,232
  1539. <i>That's when I told him...</i>
  1540.  
  1541. 327
  1542. 00:24:11,234 --> 00:24:13,698
  1543. <i>So he
  1544. kills her with my ice pick.</i>
  1545.  
  1546. 328
  1547. 00:24:13,700 --> 00:24:16,531
  1548. <i>And I heard her say,
  1549. "'Hello, Johnnie' before she hung up."</i>
  1550.  
  1551. 329
  1552. 00:24:16,533 --> 00:24:18,065
  1553. <i>He was there all right.</i>
  1554.  
  1555. 330
  1556. 00:24:18,067 --> 00:24:19,698
  1557. <i>Well, what I don't understand</i>
  1558.  
  1559. 331
  1560. 00:24:19,700 --> 00:24:20,932
  1561. <i>is this talk
  1562. about her being an artist.</i>
  1563.  
  1564. 332
  1565. 00:24:20,934 --> 00:24:22,531
  1566. <i>I never saw her paint.</i>
  1567.  
  1568. 333
  1569. 00:24:22,533 --> 00:24:24,565
  1570. <i>That was one
  1571. of her peculiar traits.</i>
  1572.  
  1573. 334
  1574. 00:24:24,567 --> 00:24:26,500
  1575. <i>She never let anyone
  1576. see her paint.</i>
  1577.  
  1578. 335
  1579. 00:24:46,967 --> 00:24:51,198
  1580. I would not have guessed, Frank, that you
  1581. were a man who enjoyed a foot massage.
  1582.  
  1583. 336
  1584. 00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:56,065
  1585. I'm not. When I saw the complimentary
  1586. chit in the wedding welcome basket,
  1587.  
  1588. 337
  1589. 00:24:56,067 --> 00:24:58,099
  1590. I thought, "I don't want that.
  1591.  
  1592. 338
  1593. 00:24:58,101 --> 00:25:00,165
  1594. I'm not comfortable with other
  1595. people touching my feet.
  1596.  
  1597. 339
  1598. 00:25:00,167 --> 00:25:02,565
  1599. I don't see why
  1600. it's necessary or good."
  1601.  
  1602. 340
  1603. 00:25:02,567 --> 00:25:04,598
  1604. Then why are you here?
  1605.  
  1606. 341
  1607. 00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:07,032
  1608. Because it's a $30 value,
  1609. and throwing it away
  1610.  
  1611. 342
  1612. 00:25:07,034 --> 00:25:09,099
  1613. would have bothered me
  1614. even more than this does.
  1615.  
  1616. 343
  1617. 00:25:09,101 --> 00:25:10,498
  1618. So, you're cheap.
  1619.  
  1620. 344
  1621. 00:25:10,500 --> 00:25:11,965
  1622. Oh, I'm way worse
  1623. than cheap,
  1624.  
  1625. 345
  1626. 00:25:11,967 --> 00:25:14,498
  1627. especially when it comes to free shit...
  1628. I hoard free shit.
  1629.  
  1630. 346
  1631. 00:25:14,500 --> 00:25:16,032
  1632. Especially
  1633. the gray-area free shit,
  1634.  
  1635. 347
  1636. 00:25:16,034 --> 00:25:19,165
  1637. like the nail files and disposable
  1638. slippers in the hotel room.
  1639.  
  1640. 348
  1641. 00:25:19,167 --> 00:25:20,832
  1642. "Gray area."
  1643.  
  1644. 349
  1645. 00:25:20,834 --> 00:25:22,832
  1646. I tell myself that they
  1647. want me to take it,
  1648.  
  1649. 350
  1650. 00:25:22,834 --> 00:25:24,531
  1651. that I'm intended
  1652. to take it.
  1653.  
  1654. 351
  1655. 00:25:24,533 --> 00:25:25,932
  1656. Do you take
  1657. the shoehorns?
  1658.  
  1659. 352
  1660. 00:25:25,934 --> 00:25:27,732
  1661. Not the long ones,
  1662. only the short ones.
  1663.  
  1664. 353
  1665. 00:25:27,734 --> 00:25:31,065
  1666. Well, that's not a gray area,
  1667. that's theft. You're a thief.
  1668.  
  1669. 354
  1670. 00:25:31,067 --> 00:25:34,531
  1671. Do you take the shampoo,
  1672. conditioner, and body wash?
  1673.  
  1674. 355
  1675. 00:25:34,533 --> 00:25:36,865
  1676. I used to, but then one
  1677. leaked in my suitcase.
  1678.  
  1679. 356
  1680. 00:25:36,867 --> 00:25:39,531
  1681. Huh. What about the soaps?
  1682.  
  1683. 357
  1684. 00:25:39,533 --> 00:25:41,132
  1685. Not the round soaps
  1686. wrapped in paper.
  1687.  
  1688. 358
  1689. 00:25:41,134 --> 00:25:43,865
  1690. But the bigger ones,
  1691. in the boxes? Yes, I do.
  1692.  
  1693. 359
  1694. 00:25:43,867 --> 00:25:47,832
  1695. So, you're a minor person
  1696. with grubby hands.
  1697.  
  1698. 360
  1699. 00:25:47,834 --> 00:25:50,765
  1700. I don't understand how, even after
  1701. Keith did what he did to you,
  1702.  
  1703. 361
  1704. 00:25:50,767 --> 00:25:53,032
  1705. and even in the midst
  1706. of the shame of being here,
  1707.  
  1708. 362
  1709. 00:25:53,034 --> 00:25:55,531
  1710. you can possibly still
  1711. be mooning over him.
  1712.  
  1713. 363
  1714. 00:25:55,533 --> 00:25:57,032
  1715. That's because
  1716. you're a monkey
  1717.  
  1718. 364
  1719. 00:25:57,034 --> 00:25:59,531
  1720. who doesn't understand
  1721. the human condition.
  1722.  
  1723. 365
  1724. 00:25:59,533 --> 00:26:01,465
  1725. Having met you, I understand
  1726. why it's a condition.
  1727.  
  1728. 366
  1729. 00:26:01,467 --> 00:26:02,865
  1730. You don't stop
  1731. loving a person
  1732.  
  1733. 367
  1734. 00:26:02,867 --> 00:26:05,099
  1735. just because
  1736. they injure you.
  1737.  
  1738. 368
  1739. 00:26:05,101 --> 00:26:06,531
  1740. It helps.
  1741.  
  1742. 369
  1743. 00:26:06,533 --> 00:26:09,164
  1744. - Well, love is not rational.
  1745. - Clearly.
  1746.  
  1747. 370
  1748. 00:26:09,166 --> 00:26:10,999
  1749. But how could you
  1750. even like Keith?
  1751.  
  1752. 371
  1753. 00:26:11,001 --> 00:26:13,732
  1754. - I never said I liked him.
  1755. - Then how can you love him?
  1756.  
  1757. 372
  1758. 00:26:13,734 --> 00:26:15,732
  1759. Love has nothing
  1760. to do with like.
  1761.  
  1762. 373
  1763. 00:26:15,734 --> 00:26:19,065
  1764. - Healthy people would disagree.
  1765. - Healthy people are sick.
  1766.  
  1767. 374
  1768. 00:26:19,067 --> 00:26:22,531
  1769. Isn't there a part of you that just
  1770. wants to wish him well and move on?
  1771.  
  1772. 375
  1773. 00:26:22,533 --> 00:26:26,164
  1774. Mmm... Most of me wants him
  1775. to be found in an icy river.
  1776.  
  1777. 376
  1778. 00:26:26,166 --> 00:26:29,531
  1779. It makes no sense to want the
  1780. person you love to be dead.
  1781.  
  1782. 377
  1783. 00:26:29,533 --> 00:26:31,865
  1784. Because then you'd have no one
  1785. left to love except yourself.
  1786.  
  1787. 378
  1788. 00:26:31,867 --> 00:26:34,133
  1789. Which, in your case,
  1790. would be unrequited.
  1791.  
  1792. 379
  1793. 00:26:35,667 --> 00:26:39,198
  1794. - I really don't want him dead.
  1795. - Good.
  1796.  
  1797. 380
  1798. 00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:42,465
  1799. I want him to have a long life, during
  1800. which he is miserable every single day
  1801.  
  1802. 381
  1803. 00:26:42,467 --> 00:26:44,932
  1804. before slowly
  1805. dying of regret.
  1806.  
  1807. 382
  1808. 00:26:44,934 --> 00:26:47,832
  1809. There are seven billion people
  1810. in the world.
  1811.  
  1812. 383
  1813. 00:26:47,834 --> 00:26:49,932
  1814. So when one of them
  1815. behaves badly toward you,
  1816.  
  1817. 384
  1818. 00:26:49,934 --> 00:26:52,865
  1819. he's actually doing you a great
  1820. favor because he's saving you time.
  1821.  
  1822. 385
  1823. 00:26:52,867 --> 00:26:55,231
  1824. He's telling you that
  1825. he's not worth your while.
  1826.  
  1827. 386
  1828. 00:26:55,233 --> 00:26:57,698
  1829. He's freeing you to say,
  1830. "Thank you for the information.
  1831.  
  1832. 387
  1833. 00:26:57,700 --> 00:27:05,164
  1834. I will now move on to
  1835. the 6,999,999,999 other people,
  1836.  
  1837. 388
  1838. 00:27:05,166 --> 00:27:07,999
  1839. some of whom
  1840. may have some value."
  1841.  
  1842. 389
  1843. 00:27:08,001 --> 00:27:09,732
  1844. And is that what
  1845. you've done, Frank?
  1846.  
  1847. 390
  1848. 00:27:09,734 --> 00:27:12,064
  1849. Just sifted,
  1850. calmly and sensibly,
  1851.  
  1852. 391
  1853. 00:27:12,066 --> 00:27:15,531
  1854. through the entire population,
  1855. searching for your soul mate?
  1856.  
  1857. 392
  1858. 00:27:15,533 --> 00:27:18,665
  1859. No, I have opted out, which
  1860. makes me uniquely qualified
  1861.  
  1862. 393
  1863. 00:27:18,667 --> 00:27:20,565
  1864. to observe and comment
  1865. on your situation.
  1866.  
  1867. 394
  1868. 00:27:20,567 --> 00:27:22,034
  1869. Oh, I am so lucky.
  1870.  
  1871. 395
  1872. 00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:25,932
  1873. - It was a long time ago.
  1874. - Not an eternity.
  1875.  
  1876. 396
  1877. 00:27:25,934 --> 00:27:30,064
  1878. - You were both very young.
  1879. - Old enough to know right from wrong.
  1880.  
  1881. 397
  1882. 00:27:30,066 --> 00:27:32,465
  1883. Incidentally, I spoke
  1884. to the bride last night.
  1885.  
  1886. 398
  1887. 00:27:32,467 --> 00:27:35,565
  1888. Oh, she does not have the
  1889. sense God gave a toaster.
  1890.  
  1891. 399
  1892. 00:27:35,567 --> 00:27:38,832
  1893. She's a moron, and her breasts
  1894. were built on a medical bench.
  1895.  
  1896. 400
  1897. 00:27:38,834 --> 00:27:42,232
  1898. But she said to tell you that
  1899. she hopes you can be friends.
  1900.  
  1901. 401
  1902. 00:27:42,234 --> 00:27:43,899
  1903. You talked about me?
  1904.  
  1905. 402
  1906. 00:27:43,901 --> 00:27:45,565
  1907. She didn't give you
  1908. a lot of airtime.
  1909.  
  1910. 403
  1911. 00:27:45,567 --> 00:27:47,698
  1912. She has trouble
  1913. stringing sentences together.
  1914.  
  1915. 404
  1916. 00:27:47,700 --> 00:27:49,632
  1917. And she uses a lot
  1918. of personal pronouns,
  1919.  
  1920. 405
  1921. 00:27:49,634 --> 00:27:51,832
  1922. so you're not always quite sure
  1923. who she's talking about.
  1924.  
  1925. 406
  1926. 00:27:51,834 --> 00:27:53,698
  1927. Well done, Keith.
  1928.  
  1929. 407
  1930. 00:27:53,700 --> 00:27:57,732
  1931. But if it helps, she said
  1932. she's not threatened by you.
  1933.  
  1934. 408
  1935. 00:27:57,734 --> 00:28:00,698
  1936. Yes, that helps
  1937. tremendously.
  1938.  
  1939. 409
  1940. 00:28:00,700 --> 00:28:02,380
  1941. At least I think
  1942. she was talking about you.
  1943.  
  1944. 410
  1945. 00:28:03,767 --> 00:28:07,832
  1946. She said "her." I'm pretty
  1947. sure she meant you.
  1948.  
  1949. 411
  1950. 00:28:07,834 --> 00:28:11,665
  1951. - Wow. What do you care anyway?
  1952. - I don't.
  1953.  
  1954. 412
  1955. 00:28:11,667 --> 00:28:14,632
  1956. I'm just trying to amuse myself
  1957. and get to tomorrow.
  1958.  
  1959. 413
  1960. 00:28:14,634 --> 00:28:17,000
  1961. Do you care
  1962. about anything?
  1963.  
  1964. 414
  1965. 00:28:18,767 --> 00:28:21,000
  1966. How many times in your life
  1967. have you been in love?
  1968.  
  1969. 415
  1970. 00:28:22,166 --> 00:28:23,932
  1971. Once.
  1972.  
  1973. 416
  1974. 00:28:23,934 --> 00:28:25,467
  1975. What was it like?
  1976.  
  1977. 417
  1978. 00:28:42,834 --> 00:28:45,865
  1979. How does anybody drink wine
  1980. at 11:00 in the morning?
  1981.  
  1982. 418
  1983. 00:28:45,867 --> 00:28:47,598
  1984. It's a winery, Frank.
  1985.  
  1986. 419
  1987. 00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:50,598
  1988. Haven't you ever given out a Car
  1989. of the Year award at 11:00?
  1990.  
  1991. 420
  1992. 00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:52,000
  1993. I can still taste toothpaste.
  1994.  
  1995. 421
  1996. 00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:57,732
  1997. - You were absolutely right.
  1998. - What did you say?
  1999.  
  2000. 422
  2001. 00:28:57,734 --> 00:29:00,598
  2002. A destination wedding
  2003. is presumptuous.
  2004.  
  2005. 423
  2006. 00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:02,832
  2007. "Please drag your carcass
  2008. hundreds of miles
  2009.  
  2010. 424
  2011. 00:29:02,834 --> 00:29:05,064
  2012. to excessively celebrate
  2013. our happiness."
  2014.  
  2015. 425
  2016. 00:29:05,066 --> 00:29:07,632
  2017. Yeah. "Because our
  2018. wedding is so special,
  2019.  
  2020. 426
  2021. 00:29:07,634 --> 00:29:09,899
  2022. it needs to be
  2023. an epic imposition."
  2024.  
  2025. 427
  2026. 00:29:09,901 --> 00:29:13,531
  2027. "It's far too important to celebrate
  2028. in anybody's shit-ass hometown."
  2029.  
  2030. 428
  2031. 00:29:13,533 --> 00:29:17,531
  2032. "Or on one calendar day. So kindly
  2033. give up your entire weekend."
  2034.  
  2035. 429
  2036. 00:29:17,533 --> 00:29:20,565
  2037. "And spend a fuck-ton of your own
  2038. money, over and above the gift."
  2039.  
  2040. 430
  2041. 00:29:20,567 --> 00:29:22,665
  2042. I bet you loved
  2043. the minibar prices.
  2044.  
  2045. 431
  2046. 00:29:22,667 --> 00:29:24,000
  2047. It's like 80 cents
  2048. per cashew.
  2049.  
  2050. 432
  2051. 00:29:26,134 --> 00:29:27,832
  2052. What's hilarious
  2053. is that these two
  2054.  
  2055. 433
  2056. 00:29:27,834 --> 00:29:30,498
  2057. have no idea they're
  2058. in a fool's paradise.
  2059.  
  2060. 434
  2061. 00:29:30,500 --> 00:29:32,565
  2062. You really think that?
  2063.  
  2064. 435
  2065. 00:29:32,567 --> 00:29:35,732
  2066. I've spent most of my life dodging the
  2067. shrapnel from my mother's marriages,
  2068.  
  2069. 436
  2070. 00:29:35,734 --> 00:29:39,165
  2071. both of which started
  2072. with smiles as big as theirs.
  2073.  
  2074. 437
  2075. 00:29:39,167 --> 00:29:41,098
  2076. Some marriages work out.
  2077.  
  2078. 438
  2079. 00:29:41,100 --> 00:29:43,598
  2080. Yes, and some people
  2081. have six fingers.
  2082.  
  2083. 439
  2084. 00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:45,598
  2085. So I'm guessing
  2086. you're single.
  2087.  
  2088. 440
  2089. 00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:47,732
  2090. I decided to learn
  2091. from my parents' mistakes.
  2092.  
  2093. 441
  2094. 00:29:47,734 --> 00:29:49,998
  2095. It's a form
  2096. of evolution.
  2097.  
  2098. 442
  2099. 00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:53,732
  2100. Yeah, but you can't blame people for
  2101. believing their own lives will be different.
  2102.  
  2103. 443
  2104. 00:29:53,734 --> 00:29:57,498
  2105. Yes, I can.
  2106. It's incredibly egotistical.
  2107.  
  2108. 444
  2109. 00:29:57,500 --> 00:30:00,964
  2110. It might help you to consider the
  2111. idea that heartbreak is pointless,
  2112.  
  2113. 445
  2114. 00:30:00,966 --> 00:30:02,665
  2115. because if you had
  2116. wound up with the person,
  2117.  
  2118. 446
  2119. 00:30:02,667 --> 00:30:05,498
  2120. eventually, you would've
  2121. been miserable anyway.
  2122.  
  2123. 447
  2124. 00:30:05,500 --> 00:30:07,565
  2125. Actually that does help,
  2126. thank you.
  2127.  
  2128. 448
  2129. 00:30:07,567 --> 00:30:10,132
  2130. No problem.
  2131.  
  2132. 449
  2133. 00:30:10,134 --> 00:30:13,031
  2134. But don't you believe there's
  2135. someone for everyone?
  2136.  
  2137. 450
  2138. 00:30:13,033 --> 00:30:14,498
  2139. Close.
  2140.  
  2141. 451
  2142. 00:30:14,500 --> 00:30:17,000
  2143. I believe that there's
  2144. nobody for anyone.
  2145.  
  2146. 452
  2147. 00:30:34,167 --> 00:30:37,632
  2148. I wish your mother and Howard's
  2149. corpse-friend were playing.
  2150.  
  2151. 453
  2152. 00:30:37,634 --> 00:30:41,465
  2153. They could try and dislodge
  2154. each other's tunnel catheters.
  2155.  
  2156. 454
  2157. 00:30:41,467 --> 00:30:43,465
  2158. Have you talked
  2159. to the corpse-friend?
  2160.  
  2161. 455
  2162. 00:30:43,467 --> 00:30:47,165
  2163. Briefly. She's dull, and she
  2164. needs a week at depilatory camp.
  2165.  
  2166. 456
  2167. 00:30:47,167 --> 00:30:50,498
  2168. - Maybe she's rich.
  2169. - I sure hope so.
  2170.  
  2171. 457
  2172. 00:30:50,500 --> 00:30:51,600
  2173. Get her!
  2174.  
  2175. 458
  2176. 00:30:53,667 --> 00:30:55,632
  2177. Do you ever think
  2178. it's a crutch though,
  2179.  
  2180. 459
  2181. 00:30:55,634 --> 00:30:57,898
  2182. blaming your mother and
  2183. father for everything?
  2184.  
  2185. 460
  2186. 00:30:57,900 --> 00:30:59,665
  2187. When did crutches
  2188. get a bad name?
  2189.  
  2190. 461
  2191. 00:30:59,667 --> 00:31:01,232
  2192. When you have a broken leg,
  2193. you need a crutch.
  2194.  
  2195. 462
  2196. 00:31:01,234 --> 00:31:03,765
  2197. In fact, it would be stupid
  2198. not to have a crutch.
  2199.  
  2200. 463
  2201. 00:31:03,767 --> 00:31:06,065
  2202. Well, yeah,
  2203. but broken legs heal.
  2204.  
  2205. 464
  2206. 00:31:06,067 --> 00:31:08,465
  2207. I mean don't you have
  2208. a responsibility to yourself
  2209.  
  2210. 465
  2211. 00:31:08,467 --> 00:31:12,498
  2212. to eventually cast aside the
  2213. crutches and meet new challenges?
  2214.  
  2215. 466
  2216. 00:31:12,500 --> 00:31:14,765
  2217. If the parent-child bond
  2218. is diseased,
  2219.  
  2220. 467
  2221. 00:31:14,767 --> 00:31:18,931
  2222. you have a better chance of being a
  2223. sociopath than of being well-adjusted.
  2224.  
  2225. 468
  2226. 00:31:18,933 --> 00:31:20,931
  2227. I consider it a triumph
  2228. of the will
  2229.  
  2230. 469
  2231. 00:31:20,933 --> 00:31:24,498
  2232. that there aren't shallow graves
  2233. dotting my backyard.
  2234.  
  2235. 470
  2236. 00:31:24,500 --> 00:31:27,864
  2237. Besides, who are you to talk?
  2238.  
  2239. 471
  2240. 00:31:27,866 --> 00:31:32,199
  2241. Simple heartbreak like yours should be,
  2242. relatively speaking, a piece of cake to get over.
  2243.  
  2244. 472
  2245. 00:31:32,201 --> 00:31:34,132
  2246. Well, it's not.
  2247.  
  2248. 473
  2249. 00:31:34,134 --> 00:31:37,797
  2250. I'd rather be strong and ruined
  2251. than weak and ruined.
  2252.  
  2253. 474
  2254. 00:31:37,799 --> 00:31:40,732
  2255. I'm not weak.
  2256. I just have hope.
  2257.  
  2258. 475
  2259. 00:31:40,734 --> 00:31:42,665
  2260. That's the same thing.
  2261.  
  2262. 476
  2263. 00:31:58,700 --> 00:32:02,665
  2264. How do you not install steps
  2265. or a pathway for this shit?
  2266.  
  2267. 477
  2268. 00:32:02,667 --> 00:32:04,831
  2269. They warned us. It was
  2270. in the Welcome Basket.
  2271.  
  2272. 478
  2273. 00:32:04,833 --> 00:32:06,831
  2274. This is a fucking
  2275. liability nightmare.
  2276.  
  2277. 479
  2278. 00:32:06,833 --> 00:32:09,099
  2279. That's right,
  2280. sue Keith again.
  2281.  
  2282. 480
  2283. 00:32:09,101 --> 00:32:11,165
  2284. Can't we just get the van
  2285. to drive us up?
  2286.  
  2287. 481
  2288. 00:32:11,167 --> 00:32:13,797
  2289. - We're going 90 feet.
  2290. - Well, the heels won't make it.
  2291.  
  2292. 482
  2293. 00:32:13,799 --> 00:32:15,797
  2294. Then take them off
  2295. until we get there.
  2296.  
  2297. 483
  2298. 00:32:15,799 --> 00:32:18,165
  2299. - I just got a foot massage.
  2300. - So?
  2301.  
  2302. 484
  2303. 00:32:18,167 --> 00:32:21,598
  2304. I'm not gonna show up at my
  2305. ex-fiancé's wedding with dirty feet.
  2306.  
  2307. 485
  2308. 00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:24,099
  2309. You can clean them off
  2310. at the grape wash.
  2311.  
  2312. 486
  2313. 00:32:24,101 --> 00:32:26,931
  2314. - Can't you just carry me, please?
  2315. - What?
  2316.  
  2317. 487
  2318. 00:32:26,933 --> 00:32:30,065
  2319. - I can't believe I have to ask.
  2320. - What?
  2321.  
  2322. 488
  2323. 00:32:30,067 --> 00:32:32,598
  2324. - It's 90 feet.
  2325. - How much do you weigh?
  2326.  
  2327. 489
  2328. 00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:34,831
  2329. - Frank.
  2330. - I don't want to shed my mortal coil.
  2331.  
  2332. 490
  2333. 00:32:34,833 --> 00:32:37,001
  2334. Well, if that happens,
  2335. you can put me down.
  2336.  
  2337. 491
  2338. 00:32:48,634 --> 00:32:50,831
  2339. You have a high,
  2340. specific gravity.
  2341.  
  2342. 492
  2343. 00:32:50,833 --> 00:32:52,632
  2344. Yeah, dense bones.
  2345.  
  2346. 493
  2347. 00:32:52,634 --> 00:32:54,797
  2348. Really deceptive avoirdupois.
  2349.  
  2350. 494
  2351. 00:32:54,799 --> 00:32:57,531
  2352. This is the slowest
  2353. I've ever been carried.
  2354.  
  2355. 495
  2356. 00:32:57,533 --> 00:32:59,099
  2357. Oh, dear God, be quiet.
  2358.  
  2359. 496
  2360. 00:32:59,101 --> 00:33:00,831
  2361. Can you just let me off
  2362. at the top though,
  2363.  
  2364. 497
  2365. 00:33:00,833 --> 00:33:02,864
  2366. so no one sees
  2367. that you carried me?
  2368.  
  2369. 498
  2370. 00:33:02,866 --> 00:33:06,698
  2371. Why? Maybe Keith will get
  2372. jealous and rethink everything.
  2373.  
  2374. 499
  2375. 00:33:06,700 --> 00:33:08,831
  2376. Keith has
  2377. forgotten I'm here.
  2378.  
  2379. 500
  2380. 00:33:14,201 --> 00:33:15,201
  2381. Fuck me.
  2382.  
  2383. 501
  2384. 00:33:23,001 --> 00:33:26,165
  2385. It's 800 degrees.
  2386.  
  2387. 502
  2388. 00:33:26,167 --> 00:33:28,565
  2389. Why is the minister
  2390. in a seersucker suit?
  2391.  
  2392. 503
  2393. 00:33:28,567 --> 00:33:29,764
  2394. Because he's not a minister.
  2395.  
  2396. 504
  2397. 00:33:29,766 --> 00:33:31,132
  2398. He's Keith's friend
  2399. from college.
  2400.  
  2401. 505
  2402. 00:33:31,134 --> 00:33:32,999
  2403. Levy, I think his name is.
  2404.  
  2405. 506
  2406. 00:33:33,001 --> 00:33:35,099
  2407. - Kaplan?
  2408. - Kaplan, right.
  2409.  
  2410. 507
  2411. 00:33:35,101 --> 00:33:37,465
  2412. - Is he wearing makeup?
  2413. - Always.
  2414.  
  2415. 508
  2416. 00:33:37,467 --> 00:33:39,764
  2417. Usually
  2418. the Nars Radiant Creamy.
  2419.  
  2420. 509
  2421. 00:33:39,766 --> 00:33:41,632
  2422. If memory serves,
  2423. he's gay.
  2424.  
  2425. 510
  2426. 00:33:41,634 --> 00:33:45,831
  2427. The correct term is "Effeminate
  2428. American." And actually he's pansexual.
  2429.  
  2430. 511
  2431. 00:33:45,833 --> 00:33:47,232
  2432. What does that mean?
  2433.  
  2434. 512
  2435. 00:33:47,234 --> 00:33:49,165
  2436. He's attracted
  2437. to all genders,
  2438.  
  2439. 513
  2440. 00:33:49,167 --> 00:33:51,965
  2441. gender identities,
  2442. and sexual orientations.
  2443.  
  2444. 514
  2445. 00:33:51,967 --> 00:33:53,999
  2446. - Come on.
  2447. - I'm telling you.
  2448.  
  2449. 515
  2450. 00:33:54,001 --> 00:33:55,797
  2451. How'd he get the gig?
  2452.  
  2453. 516
  2454. 00:33:55,799 --> 00:33:57,531
  2455. He fucked the bride
  2456. and the groom.
  2457.  
  2458. 517
  2459. 00:33:57,533 --> 00:34:00,132
  2460. - Which was, like, no big deal.
  2461. - Vanilla.
  2462.  
  2463. 518
  2464. 00:34:00,134 --> 00:34:02,664
  2465. I mean, because he would fuck, for
  2466. example, a man who believes he's a woman?
  2467.  
  2468. 519
  2469. 00:34:02,666 --> 00:34:04,199
  2470. Absolutely.
  2471.  
  2472. 520
  2473. 00:34:04,201 --> 00:34:07,065
  2474. Or a straight woman who believes
  2475. she's actually a gay man?
  2476.  
  2477. 521
  2478. 00:34:07,067 --> 00:34:09,165
  2479. - Not a day goes by.
  2480. - What about hermaphrodites?
  2481.  
  2482. 522
  2483. 00:34:09,167 --> 00:34:10,731
  2484. You'd have to think.
  2485.  
  2486. 523
  2487. 00:34:10,733 --> 00:34:12,932
  2488. They just let anyone
  2489. officiate at weddings?
  2490.  
  2491. 524
  2492. 00:34:12,934 --> 00:34:16,697
  2493. Not anyone. You need a credit
  2494. card and an Internet connection.
  2495.  
  2496. 525
  2497. 00:34:16,699 --> 00:34:20,032
  2498. - You researched this?
  2499. - Oh, I researched everything.
  2500.  
  2501. 526
  2502. 00:34:20,034 --> 00:34:21,999
  2503. I knew where
  2504. we would buy a house,
  2505.  
  2506. 527
  2507. 00:34:22,001 --> 00:34:24,999
  2508. where our kids would be born,
  2509. where they'd go to school.
  2510.  
  2511. 528
  2512. 00:34:25,001 --> 00:34:26,733
  2513. I knew where we'd be buried.
  2514.  
  2515. 529
  2516. 00:34:29,867 --> 00:34:32,899
  2517. Do you become a clergyman in
  2518. an online church of some sort?
  2519.  
  2520. 530
  2521. 00:34:32,901 --> 00:34:35,032
  2522. No, you can
  2523. just do weddings.
  2524.  
  2525. 531
  2526. 00:34:35,034 --> 00:34:37,132
  2527. - Not baptisms?
  2528. - No.
  2529.  
  2530. 532
  2531. 00:34:37,134 --> 00:34:40,165
  2532. - Funerals? Bar Mitzvahs?
  2533. - Just weddings.
  2534.  
  2535. 533
  2536. 00:34:40,167 --> 00:34:43,932
  2537. - How many believers does he have?
  2538. - No believers. No congregation.
  2539.  
  2540. 534
  2541. 00:34:43,934 --> 00:34:47,099
  2542. - Does his church preach that there's a heaven?
  2543. - Ain't got no church.
  2544.  
  2545. 535
  2546. 00:34:47,101 --> 00:34:50,798
  2547. Why would anyone have my
  2548. mother as the maid of honor?
  2549.  
  2550. 536
  2551. 00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:54,697
  2552. I don't know. It's like having
  2553. the Grim Reaper at your CAT scan.
  2554.  
  2555. 537
  2556. 00:34:54,699 --> 00:34:58,597
  2557. If I had a nickel for every time she
  2558. said to me, "I am not your maid."
  2559.  
  2560. 538
  2561. 00:34:58,599 --> 00:35:02,232
  2562. - Was she born during the Great Depression?
  2563. - No, she caused it.
  2564.  
  2565. 539
  2566. 00:35:02,234 --> 00:35:04,664
  2567. - You know who I feel sorry for?
  2568. - Yourself?
  2569.  
  2570. 540
  2571. 00:35:04,666 --> 00:35:06,165
  2572. Anne's father.
  2573.  
  2574. 541
  2575. 00:35:06,167 --> 00:35:08,697
  2576. Why? He's the only one here
  2577. who wasn't married to my mother.
  2578.  
  2579. 542
  2580. 00:35:08,699 --> 00:35:13,899
  2581. Because once upon a time, he was the Most
  2582. Important Male Person In Anne's Life,
  2583.  
  2584. 543
  2585. 00:35:13,901 --> 00:35:16,865
  2586. the "M.P.I.A.L." if you will.
  2587.  
  2588. 544
  2589. 00:35:16,867 --> 00:35:19,165
  2590. I will, but only
  2591. if I have to.
  2592.  
  2593. 545
  2594. 00:35:19,167 --> 00:35:22,597
  2595. It's dangerous for a father
  2596. to pass that mantle.
  2597.  
  2598. 546
  2599. 00:35:22,599 --> 00:35:25,965
  2600. Just because he's Danish doesn't mean
  2601. he was fucking his own daughter.
  2602.  
  2603. 547
  2604. 00:35:25,967 --> 00:35:29,232
  2605. In a very real sense,
  2606. by virtue of cultivating
  2607.  
  2608. 548
  2609. 00:35:29,234 --> 00:35:33,631
  2610. a healthy, loving relationship with
  2611. her, showing her, day after day,
  2612.  
  2613. 549
  2614. 00:35:33,633 --> 00:35:36,132
  2615. year after year, how a good
  2616. man should comport himself,
  2617.  
  2618. 550
  2619. 00:35:36,134 --> 00:35:38,865
  2620. he's been preparing
  2621. her whole life for marriage.
  2622.  
  2623. 551
  2624. 00:35:38,867 --> 00:35:41,465
  2625. - To Keith.
  2626. - Exactly.
  2627.  
  2628. 552
  2629. 00:35:41,467 --> 00:35:43,765
  2630. That's the lamb to
  2631. the slaughter right there.
  2632.  
  2633. 553
  2634. 00:35:43,767 --> 00:35:47,232
  2635. She and her dad have been leading with
  2636. their chins, cruising for a bruising.
  2637.  
  2638. 554
  2639. 00:35:47,234 --> 00:35:49,465
  2640. Asking for it.
  2641. It's a total sucker play.
  2642.  
  2643. 555
  2644. 00:35:49,467 --> 00:35:50,965
  2645. Or so you've heard.
  2646.  
  2647. 556
  2648. 00:35:50,967 --> 00:35:53,165
  2649. There's a sucker that reaches
  2650. age of consent every minute.
  2651.  
  2652. 557
  2653. 00:35:53,167 --> 00:35:56,564
  2654. When Keith turns out to be
  2655. the mythic jerk that he is,
  2656.  
  2657. 558
  2658. 00:35:56,566 --> 00:36:00,132
  2659. all of her carefully curated
  2660. self-esteem will be destroyed,
  2661.  
  2662. 559
  2663. 00:36:00,134 --> 00:36:03,566
  2664. a father will have lost a
  2665. daughter, and where will she be?
  2666.  
  2667. 560
  2668. 00:36:04,633 --> 00:36:06,498
  2669. Right here
  2670. with the rest of us.
  2671.  
  2672. 561
  2673. 00:36:28,967 --> 00:36:30,666
  2674. I used to love this song.
  2675.  
  2676. 562
  2677. 00:36:32,001 --> 00:36:34,132
  2678. Do you want to dance?
  2679.  
  2680. 563
  2681. 00:36:34,134 --> 00:36:35,867
  2682. - I said "used to."
  2683. - Fine.
  2684.  
  2685. 564
  2686. 00:36:37,967 --> 00:36:40,564
  2687. - Why, do you want to dance?
  2688. - Of course not, I hate dancing.
  2689.  
  2690. 565
  2691. 00:36:40,566 --> 00:36:42,965
  2692. It's moronic and a
  2693. complete waste of time.
  2694.  
  2695. 566
  2696. 00:36:42,967 --> 00:36:45,765
  2697. You're not that busy.
  2698.  
  2699. 567
  2700. 00:36:45,767 --> 00:36:49,099
  2701. I just thought maybe you wanted to
  2702. dance to get your mind off things.
  2703.  
  2704. 568
  2705. 00:36:49,101 --> 00:36:51,232
  2706. I don't and it wouldn't.
  2707.  
  2708. 569
  2709. 00:36:51,234 --> 00:36:54,765
  2710. Fine. I said fine.
  2711.  
  2712. 570
  2713. 00:36:54,767 --> 00:36:56,734
  2714. Neither of us wants
  2715. to fucking dance.
  2716.  
  2717. 571
  2718. 00:37:01,134 --> 00:37:04,599
  2719. I can't help but hope
  2720. Keith tears a hip muscle.
  2721.  
  2722. 572
  2723. 00:37:14,001 --> 00:37:15,867
  2724. Can we take a walk?
  2725.  
  2726. 573
  2727. 00:37:42,700 --> 00:37:44,899
  2728. - How are the shoes?
  2729. - They're fine.
  2730.  
  2731. 574
  2732. 00:37:44,901 --> 00:37:47,165
  2733. I didn't really want to go through
  2734. the whole entire selection,
  2735.  
  2736. 575
  2737. 00:37:47,167 --> 00:37:50,698
  2738. but I have weird arches
  2739. on my mom's side.
  2740.  
  2741. 576
  2742. 00:37:50,700 --> 00:37:52,698
  2743. - So they're good.
  2744. - Yeah.
  2745.  
  2746. 577
  2747. 00:37:52,700 --> 00:37:54,232
  2748. Okay.
  2749.  
  2750. 578
  2751. 00:37:54,234 --> 00:37:56,665
  2752. You know after
  2753. the whole thing with Keith,
  2754.  
  2755. 579
  2756. 00:37:56,667 --> 00:38:00,632
  2757. - I was diagnosed with PTSD.
  2758. - Rich person's PTSD.
  2759.  
  2760. 580
  2761. 00:38:00,634 --> 00:38:03,597
  2762. - Privileged person's PTSD.
  2763. - Okay, I do know what you're saying.
  2764.  
  2765. 581
  2766. 00:38:03,599 --> 00:38:05,497
  2767. This is why people
  2768. hate the top one percent.
  2769.  
  2770. 582
  2771. 00:38:05,499 --> 00:38:08,232
  2772. - I am not the top one percent.
  2773. - Neither am I.
  2774.  
  2775. 583
  2776. 00:38:08,234 --> 00:38:11,598
  2777. When people talk about the top
  2778. one percent like it's home,
  2779.  
  2780. 584
  2781. 00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:13,065
  2782. it drives me fucking crazy.
  2783.  
  2784. 585
  2785. 00:38:13,067 --> 00:38:14,832
  2786. You know who's actually
  2787. in the top one percent
  2788.  
  2789. 586
  2790. 00:38:14,834 --> 00:38:16,732
  2791. are the assholes
  2792. that run the companies
  2793.  
  2794. 587
  2795. 00:38:16,734 --> 00:38:18,965
  2796. that I prosecute
  2797. and you reward.
  2798.  
  2799. 588
  2800. 00:38:18,967 --> 00:38:21,832
  2801. Top ten, top 20 percent,
  2802. whatever it is.
  2803.  
  2804. 589
  2805. 00:38:21,834 --> 00:38:23,999
  2806. The segment of society
  2807. that doesn't have to worry
  2808.  
  2809. 590
  2810. 00:38:24,001 --> 00:38:27,099
  2811. about basic things like food,
  2812. clothing, shelter, transportation,
  2813.  
  2814. 591
  2815. 00:38:27,101 --> 00:38:28,832
  2816. or getting shot
  2817. by the police.
  2818.  
  2819. 592
  2820. 00:38:28,834 --> 00:38:30,497
  2821. So we're not allowed
  2822. to have problems?
  2823.  
  2824. 593
  2825. 00:38:30,499 --> 00:38:32,665
  2826. We're allowed to have them, but
  2827. no one is interested in them.
  2828.  
  2829. 594
  2830. 00:38:32,667 --> 00:38:35,099
  2831. And I don't blame them,
  2832. I'm not even interested.
  2833.  
  2834. 595
  2835. 00:38:35,101 --> 00:38:38,132
  2836. We're trite, trivial,
  2837. tiresome, tone-deaf narcissists.
  2838.  
  2839. 596
  2840. 00:38:38,134 --> 00:38:40,798
  2841. I never said I wasn't
  2842. a tone-deaf narcissist.
  2843.  
  2844. 597
  2845. 00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:42,732
  2846. - The optics are very bad.
  2847. - Nobody's looking.
  2848.  
  2849. 598
  2850. 00:38:42,734 --> 00:38:44,065
  2851. We should keep our shit
  2852. to ourselves.
  2853.  
  2854. 599
  2855. 00:38:44,067 --> 00:38:46,199
  2856. We are keeping it
  2857. to ourselves.
  2858.  
  2859. 600
  2860. 00:38:46,201 --> 00:38:50,464
  2861. Besides, it's human nature to find pain in
  2862. any situation, however relatively fortunate.
  2863.  
  2864. 601
  2865. 00:38:50,466 --> 00:38:52,598
  2866. That doesn't
  2867. make it listenable.
  2868.  
  2869. 602
  2870. 00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:56,165
  2871. Well, I'm sorry if my brand of pain
  2872. is out of vogue, but it's all I got.
  2873.  
  2874. 603
  2875. 00:38:56,167 --> 00:38:58,732
  2876. It would be so much more
  2877. interesting and fantastic
  2878.  
  2879. 604
  2880. 00:38:58,734 --> 00:39:00,999
  2881. if we had been
  2882. fondled by priests
  2883.  
  2884. 605
  2885. 00:39:01,001 --> 00:39:03,932
  2886. or lost a leg but could
  2887. still feel it or something.
  2888.  
  2889. 606
  2890. 00:39:05,700 --> 00:39:09,497
  2891. My theory about
  2892. myself is that my soma
  2893.  
  2894. 607
  2895. 00:39:09,499 --> 00:39:13,632
  2896. is sending me a Darwinian
  2897. message telling me,
  2898.  
  2899. 608
  2900. 00:39:13,634 --> 00:39:16,899
  2901. "Hey, you're unfit to pass your
  2902. DNA on to future generations,
  2903.  
  2904. 609
  2905. 00:39:16,901 --> 00:39:18,932
  2906. so you should just select out."
  2907.  
  2908. 610
  2909. 00:39:18,934 --> 00:39:21,698
  2910. Well, just keep doing
  2911. what you're doing.
  2912.  
  2913. 611
  2914. 00:39:21,700 --> 00:39:24,099
  2915. But I have
  2916. so much to give.
  2917.  
  2918. 612
  2919. 00:39:24,101 --> 00:39:25,734
  2920. Not really.
  2921.  
  2922. 613
  2923. 00:39:27,067 --> 00:39:29,765
  2924. Holy shit, Frank.
  2925. What is that?
  2926.  
  2927. 614
  2928. 00:39:29,767 --> 00:39:31,497
  2929. I think it's a mountain lion.
  2930.  
  2931. 615
  2932. 00:39:31,499 --> 00:39:34,765
  2933. - Could it be a jaguar?
  2934. - I don't know. I'm not a zookeeper.
  2935.  
  2936. 616
  2937. 00:39:34,767 --> 00:39:36,798
  2938. It's too big for an
  2939. ocelot or a bearcat,
  2940.  
  2941. 617
  2942. 00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:38,798
  2943. but too small
  2944. for a panther, I think.
  2945.  
  2946. 618
  2947. 00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:41,199
  2948. What the fuck difference does it make
  2949. what it is? It's a fucking predator cat.
  2950.  
  2951. 619
  2952. 00:39:41,201 --> 00:39:42,765
  2953. A cougar, maybe?
  2954.  
  2955. 620
  2956. 00:39:42,767 --> 00:39:44,865
  2957. - Jesus Christ.
  2958. - I don't know what you're worried about.
  2959.  
  2960. 621
  2961. 00:39:44,867 --> 00:39:46,565
  2962. - It's gonna go for me.
  2963. - Why?
  2964.  
  2965. 622
  2966. 00:39:46,567 --> 00:39:48,798
  2967. I saw a thing. They pick out
  2968. the smallest of the herd.
  2969.  
  2970. 623
  2971. 00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:50,132
  2972. We're not a herd,
  2973. we're wedding guests.
  2974.  
  2975. 624
  2976. 00:39:50,134 --> 00:39:52,165
  2977. I'm telling you,
  2978. you're safe if you just run.
  2979.  
  2980. 625
  2981. 00:39:52,167 --> 00:39:53,632
  2982. You run.
  2983. I'll stay here and fight.
  2984.  
  2985. 626
  2986. 00:39:53,634 --> 00:39:55,099
  2987. Uh, yeah,
  2988. but I'm not a sprinter.
  2989.  
  2990. 627
  2991. 00:39:55,101 --> 00:39:57,865
  2992. I run for distance, so it
  2993. gives me a certain clarity...
  2994.  
  2995. 628
  2996. 00:39:57,867 --> 00:39:59,498
  2997. Yes, all right.
  2998.  
  2999. 629
  3000. 00:39:59,500 --> 00:40:00,832
  3001. You run.
  3002. I'll stay here and fight.
  3003.  
  3004. 630
  3005. 00:40:00,834 --> 00:40:03,065
  3006. How about if we both run
  3007. and nobody stays and fights?
  3008.  
  3009. 631
  3010. 00:40:03,067 --> 00:40:04,765
  3011. Neither one of us
  3012. can outrun a cheetah.
  3013.  
  3014. 632
  3015. 00:40:04,767 --> 00:40:06,565
  3016. It's not a fucking cheetah.
  3017. We're not in Africa.
  3018.  
  3019. 633
  3020. 00:40:06,567 --> 00:40:08,732
  3021. They're also in Iran,
  3022. I think it said.
  3023.  
  3024. 634
  3025. 00:40:08,734 --> 00:40:10,199
  3026. They won't even
  3027. hear us scream.
  3028.  
  3029. 635
  3030. 00:40:10,201 --> 00:40:11,999
  3031. I hate those
  3032. fucking people.
  3033.  
  3034. 636
  3035. 00:40:12,001 --> 00:40:14,598
  3036. On the plus side,
  3037. you'll be ruining Keith's wedding.
  3038.  
  3039. 637
  3040. 00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:17,132
  3041. - That's true.
  3042. - Unless they don't find us for weeks.
  3043.  
  3044. 638
  3045. 00:40:17,134 --> 00:40:19,965
  3046. And then only in pieces, some of
  3047. which were brought back to its lair.
  3048.  
  3049. 639
  3050. 00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:23,232
  3051. Last chance on the running.
  3052.  
  3053. 640
  3054. 00:40:23,234 --> 00:40:26,199
  3055. I can't believe you're the last human
  3056. person I'm ever gonna talk to.
  3057.  
  3058. 641
  3059. 00:40:26,201 --> 00:40:27,765
  3060. There might be EMTs.
  3061.  
  3062. 642
  3063. 00:40:27,767 --> 00:40:30,565
  3064. Yeah, but I might
  3065. be a hemophiliac.
  3066.  
  3067. 643
  3068. 00:40:30,567 --> 00:40:32,565
  3069. Might be?
  3070. Don't you know that already?
  3071.  
  3072. 644
  3073. 00:40:32,567 --> 00:40:36,531
  3074. Well, no, because you can get things
  3075. as an adult, like adult onset asthma.
  3076.  
  3077. 645
  3078. 00:40:36,533 --> 00:40:38,834
  3079. My friend Suzanne has that...
  3080.  
  3081. 646
  3082. 00:40:54,667 --> 00:40:57,199
  3083. - Now we run!
  3084. - Oh!
  3085.  
  3086. 647
  3087. 00:40:57,201 --> 00:40:59,598
  3088. - That was good, Frank.
  3089. - My throat is really raw.
  3090.  
  3091. 648
  3092. 00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:00,999
  3093. But why are
  3094. we still running?
  3095.  
  3096. 649
  3097. 00:41:01,001 --> 00:41:02,365
  3098. Because I don't
  3099. think it's a bad idea
  3100.  
  3101. 650
  3102. 00:41:02,367 --> 00:41:05,199
  3103. to put as much distance between us
  3104. and the mountain lion as possible.
  3105.  
  3106. 651
  3107. 00:41:05,201 --> 00:41:06,698
  3108. It might've
  3109. been a lynx!
  3110.  
  3111. 652
  3112. 00:41:06,700 --> 00:41:07,999
  3113. It would be so
  3114. ironic if I strangled you.
  3115.  
  3116. 653
  3117. 00:41:08,001 --> 00:41:10,231
  3118. Why do you have to ruin
  3119. a nice moment!
  3120.  
  3121. 654
  3122. 00:41:10,233 --> 00:41:13,832
  3123. - Ow!
  3124. - Ah, fuck! Ah, fuck!
  3125.  
  3126. 655
  3127. 00:41:13,834 --> 00:41:16,899
  3128. - Ow! Ow!
  3129. - Fuck! Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!
  3130.  
  3131. 656
  3132. 00:41:16,901 --> 00:41:18,167
  3133. Ah!
  3134.  
  3135. 657
  3136. 00:41:20,467 --> 00:41:22,399
  3137. Okay. Oh.
  3138.  
  3139. 658
  3140. 00:41:25,233 --> 00:41:27,500
  3141. For the record,
  3142. you ruined the moment, not me.
  3143.  
  3144. 659
  3145. 00:41:30,901 --> 00:41:32,467
  3146. Lindsay?
  3147.  
  3148. 660
  3149. 00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:35,134
  3150. Lindsay?
  3151.  
  3152. 661
  3153. 00:41:37,500 --> 00:41:41,465
  3154. I'm fine!
  3155. For God's sake. Jesus.
  3156.  
  3157. 662
  3158. 00:41:41,467 --> 00:41:44,865
  3159. - Great.
  3160. - I just had the wind knocked out of me.
  3161.  
  3162. 663
  3163. 00:41:44,867 --> 00:41:46,765
  3164. Okay, good.
  3165.  
  3166. 664
  3167. 00:41:46,767 --> 00:41:50,099
  3168. It was good, because you didn't have
  3169. the first clue what you were doing.
  3170.  
  3171. 665
  3172. 00:41:50,101 --> 00:41:52,932
  3173. Hey, it's been a while
  3174. since health class.
  3175.  
  3176. 666
  3177. 00:41:52,934 --> 00:41:55,832
  3178. Yeah, well, if you thought
  3179. I had a cervical injury,
  3180.  
  3181. 667
  3182. 00:41:55,834 --> 00:41:58,132
  3183. the last thing you're supposed
  3184. to do is flip a person over
  3185.  
  3186. 668
  3187. 00:41:58,134 --> 00:42:00,065
  3188. like a fuckin' pancake.
  3189.  
  3190. 669
  3191. 00:42:00,067 --> 00:42:04,732
  3192. - I'm sorry.
  3193. - But on the other hand, you did save me.
  3194.  
  3195. 670
  3196. 00:42:04,734 --> 00:42:05,932
  3197. Us.
  3198.  
  3199. 671
  3200. 00:42:05,934 --> 00:42:08,665
  3201. I told you,
  3202. it would have gone for me.
  3203.  
  3204. 672
  3205. 00:42:08,667 --> 00:42:11,465
  3206. Why did you do that?
  3207. Why did you save me?
  3208.  
  3209. 673
  3210. 00:42:11,467 --> 00:42:12,467
  3211. I didn't save you.
  3212.  
  3213. 674
  3214. 00:42:13,567 --> 00:42:15,099
  3215. Why did you save me?
  3216.  
  3217. 675
  3218. 00:42:15,101 --> 00:42:16,632
  3219. Because I'm an idiot.
  3220.  
  3221. 676
  3222. 00:42:16,634 --> 00:42:20,032
  3223. - You could've died.
  3224. - Of idiocy.
  3225.  
  3226. 677
  3227. 00:42:20,034 --> 00:42:22,001
  3228. Don't tell me
  3229. you're secretly noble.
  3230.  
  3231. 678
  3232. 00:42:22,967 --> 00:42:24,164
  3233. I'm not.
  3234.  
  3235. 679
  3236. 00:42:24,166 --> 00:42:25,531
  3237. But I thought,
  3238. "Maybe she's right.
  3239.  
  3240. 680
  3241. 00:42:25,533 --> 00:42:26,899
  3242. Maybe hers
  3243. is the life in danger.
  3244.  
  3245. 681
  3246. 00:42:26,901 --> 00:42:29,598
  3247. She seems to know
  3248. fuckin' everything."
  3249.  
  3250. 682
  3251. 00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:33,065
  3252. And I didn't want to feel guilty for the
  3253. rest of my life about not having saved you.
  3254.  
  3255. 683
  3256. 00:42:33,067 --> 00:42:34,698
  3257. I get that.
  3258.  
  3259. 684
  3260. 00:42:34,700 --> 00:42:38,465
  3261. - I didn't want to think of myself as selfish.
  3262. - Frank.
  3263.  
  3264. 685
  3265. 00:42:38,467 --> 00:42:42,565
  3266. As <i>that</i> selfish. Not on top of everything
  3267. else I already think about myself.
  3268.  
  3269. 686
  3270. 00:42:42,567 --> 00:42:44,865
  3271. Copy you.
  3272.  
  3273. 687
  3274. 00:42:44,867 --> 00:42:47,465
  3275. 'Cause it's not like
  3276. I have so much to live for.
  3277.  
  3278. 688
  3279. 00:42:47,467 --> 00:42:49,634
  3280. Yeah, well,
  3281. that's true.
  3282.  
  3283. 689
  3284. 00:42:50,967 --> 00:42:52,467
  3285. Well, anyway, thank you.
  3286.  
  3287. 690
  3288. 00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:01,198
  3289. What the fuck, Frank?
  3290.  
  3291. 691
  3292. 00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:02,832
  3293. I'm sorry.
  3294. I don't know what that was.
  3295.  
  3296. 692
  3297. 00:43:02,834 --> 00:43:05,101
  3298. Neither do I,
  3299. for fuck's sake. Jesus.
  3300.  
  3301. 693
  3302. 00:43:08,967 --> 00:43:11,065
  3303. - Goddamn it!
  3304. - I'm sorry.
  3305.  
  3306. 694
  3307. 00:43:11,067 --> 00:43:13,634
  3308. - What is wrong with you?
  3309. - I don't know.
  3310.  
  3311. 695
  3312. 00:43:19,233 --> 00:43:20,832
  3313. What the fuck?
  3314.  
  3315. 696
  3316. 00:43:20,834 --> 00:43:22,133
  3317. Let's just...
  3318. Come on.
  3319.  
  3320. 697
  3321. 00:43:24,867 --> 00:43:25,867
  3322. Mmm.
  3323.  
  3324. 698
  3325. 00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:31,001
  3326. Can't... Just put it on...
  3327.  
  3328. 699
  3329. 00:43:33,700 --> 00:43:35,665
  3330. I'm sorry.
  3331.  
  3332. 700
  3333. 00:43:35,667 --> 00:43:38,999
  3334. I'm sorry,
  3335. it's just very difficult
  3336.  
  3337. 701
  3338. 00:43:39,001 --> 00:43:41,899
  3339. for me to give myself over to
  3340. any sort of positive activity.
  3341.  
  3342. 702
  3343. 00:43:41,901 --> 00:43:45,164
  3344. Yeah.
  3345. Especially this one.
  3346.  
  3347. 703
  3348. 00:43:45,166 --> 00:43:47,198
  3349. It makes me think about how
  3350. long I've gone without it,
  3351.  
  3352. 704
  3353. 00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:49,164
  3354. which makes me
  3355. want to kill myself.
  3356.  
  3357. 705
  3358. 00:43:49,166 --> 00:43:52,531
  3359. Yeah, well, I've been pretty
  3360. sure for a very long time
  3361.  
  3362. 706
  3363. 00:43:52,533 --> 00:43:54,999
  3364. that life is essentially
  3365. a horrible experience,
  3366.  
  3367. 707
  3368. 00:43:55,001 --> 00:43:56,965
  3369. and I really don't need
  3370. this kind of confusion.
  3371.  
  3372. 708
  3373. 00:43:56,967 --> 00:43:58,765
  3374. - And pressure.
  3375. - Yeah.
  3376.  
  3377. 709
  3378. 00:43:58,767 --> 00:43:59,932
  3379. I mean, if it all sucks,
  3380. then fuck it,
  3381.  
  3382. 710
  3383. 00:43:59,934 --> 00:44:02,965
  3384. but if it doesn't all suck,
  3385. then there's so much pressure.
  3386.  
  3387. 711
  3388. 00:44:02,967 --> 00:44:04,665
  3389. Yeah.
  3390.  
  3391. 712
  3392. 00:44:04,667 --> 00:44:07,032
  3393. God, do you even know
  3394. how long it's been
  3395.  
  3396. 713
  3397. 00:44:07,034 --> 00:44:10,698
  3398. since I've been touched with
  3399. affection by another human being?
  3400.  
  3401. 714
  3402. 00:44:10,700 --> 00:44:12,865
  3403. How about without affection?
  3404.  
  3405. 715
  3406. 00:44:12,867 --> 00:44:14,732
  3407. Nearly as long.
  3408.  
  3409. 716
  3410. 00:44:14,734 --> 00:44:18,665
  3411. I tell you right now, I haven't
  3412. felt pleasure since about 2006.
  3413.  
  3414. 717
  3415. 00:44:18,667 --> 00:44:21,064
  3416. Sometimes, I feel
  3417. the absence of pain,
  3418.  
  3419. 718
  3420. 00:44:21,066 --> 00:44:23,531
  3421. which at this point
  3422. feels like pleasure,
  3423.  
  3424. 719
  3425. 00:44:23,533 --> 00:44:26,001
  3426. or at least pleasure's
  3427. little cousin.
  3428.  
  3429. 720
  3430. 00:44:26,934 --> 00:44:28,565
  3431. I don't have protection.
  3432.  
  3433. 721
  3434. 00:44:28,567 --> 00:44:29,698
  3435. Well, why would you?
  3436.  
  3437. 722
  3438. 00:44:29,700 --> 00:44:32,064
  3439. I mean, why would you
  3440. have a condom today?
  3441.  
  3442. 723
  3443. 00:44:32,066 --> 00:44:34,632
  3444. What are the odds?
  3445. Astronomical.
  3446.  
  3447. 724
  3448. 00:44:34,634 --> 00:44:37,765
  3449. - What if you got pregnant?
  3450. - I'm sure my womb is hostile.
  3451.  
  3452. 725
  3453. 00:44:37,767 --> 00:44:40,498
  3454. Having sex right now
  3455. would be irresponsible.
  3456.  
  3457. 726
  3458. 00:44:40,500 --> 00:44:42,164
  3459. Well, who cares?
  3460.  
  3461. 727
  3462. 00:44:42,166 --> 00:44:44,500
  3463. I mean, how much worse
  3464. can things get?
  3465.  
  3466. 728
  3467. 00:44:45,967 --> 00:44:47,899
  3468. - Okay.
  3469. - Yeah?
  3470.  
  3471. 729
  3472. 00:44:47,901 --> 00:44:49,000
  3473. Okay.
  3474.  
  3475. 730
  3476. 00:45:00,934 --> 00:45:02,565
  3477. Okay.
  3478.  
  3479. 731
  3480. 00:45:02,567 --> 00:45:05,632
  3481. Okay.
  3482.  
  3483. 732
  3484. 00:45:05,634 --> 00:45:07,199
  3485. Okay.
  3486.  
  3487. 733
  3488. 00:45:07,201 --> 00:45:09,565
  3489. All right.
  3490.  
  3491. 734
  3492. 00:45:10,934 --> 00:45:13,834
  3493. Yeah, yeah, yeah...
  3494.  
  3495. 735
  3496. 00:45:23,100 --> 00:45:24,100
  3497. Okay.
  3498.  
  3499. 736
  3500. 00:45:27,634 --> 00:45:28,698
  3501. How's that?
  3502.  
  3503. 737
  3504. 00:45:28,700 --> 00:45:30,064
  3505. That's fine.
  3506.  
  3507. 738
  3508. 00:45:32,500 --> 00:45:35,498
  3509. Do you think the mountain lion
  3510. will be attracted to the musk?
  3511.  
  3512. 739
  3513. 00:45:35,500 --> 00:45:37,465
  3514. I think it was a puma.
  3515.  
  3516. 740
  3517. 00:45:38,567 --> 00:45:39,964
  3518. How is it now?
  3519.  
  3520. 741
  3521. 00:45:39,966 --> 00:45:43,732
  3522. It feels strange
  3523. yet pleasantly familiar,
  3524.  
  3525. 742
  3526. 00:45:43,734 --> 00:45:47,167
  3527. kind of like coming off a long
  3528. diet or going back to smoking.
  3529.  
  3530. 743
  3531. 00:45:49,100 --> 00:45:50,899
  3532. How about now?
  3533.  
  3534. 744
  3535. 00:45:50,901 --> 00:45:52,732
  3536. Do you have
  3537. any diseases?
  3538.  
  3539. 745
  3540. 00:45:52,734 --> 00:45:54,064
  3541. Of course not.
  3542.  
  3543. 746
  3544. 00:45:54,066 --> 00:45:56,064
  3545. I missed every
  3546. possible sexual revolution.
  3547.  
  3548. 747
  3549. 00:45:56,066 --> 00:45:58,698
  3550. The first one,
  3551. the one after Tinder,
  3552.  
  3553. 748
  3554. 00:45:58,700 --> 00:46:01,232
  3555. - the one after Caitlyn Jenner...
  3556. - Me, too.
  3557.  
  3558. 749
  3559. 00:46:04,201 --> 00:46:05,832
  3560. Crabs.
  3561.  
  3562. 750
  3563. 00:46:05,834 --> 00:46:07,765
  3564. You have crabs?
  3565.  
  3566. 751
  3567. 00:46:07,767 --> 00:46:09,098
  3568. No, actual crabs.
  3569.  
  3570. 752
  3571. 00:46:09,100 --> 00:46:10,665
  3572. Over there.
  3573.  
  3574. 753
  3575. 00:46:10,667 --> 00:46:12,865
  3576. Those aren't crabs,
  3577. those are tarantulas.
  3578.  
  3579. 754
  3580. 00:46:12,867 --> 00:46:13,964
  3581. They look like crabs.
  3582.  
  3583. 755
  3584. 00:46:13,966 --> 00:46:15,064
  3585. No, they don't.
  3586.  
  3587. 756
  3588. 00:46:15,066 --> 00:46:17,565
  3589. And besides,
  3590. they don't attack humans.
  3591.  
  3592. 757
  3593. 00:46:17,567 --> 00:46:18,998
  3594. Now you're just
  3595. making shit up.
  3596.  
  3597. 758
  3598. 00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:21,531
  3599. Oh, yes, for the thrill
  3600. of fucking you.
  3601.  
  3602. 759
  3603. 00:46:21,533 --> 00:46:23,798
  3604. - Let's get it over with.
  3605. - Fine.
  3606.  
  3607. 760
  3608. 00:46:27,900 --> 00:46:31,099
  3609. My mother used to tell me to always
  3610. use two condoms when you have sex.
  3611.  
  3612. 761
  3613. 00:46:31,101 --> 00:46:32,832
  3614. The second one
  3615. always had to be bigger.
  3616.  
  3617. 762
  3618. 00:46:32,834 --> 00:46:35,498
  3619. - It looked like a wind sock.
  3620. - That's so stupid.
  3621.  
  3622. 763
  3623. 00:46:35,500 --> 00:46:38,232
  3624. Each condom would cause
  3625. the other one to break.
  3626.  
  3627. 764
  3628. 00:46:38,234 --> 00:46:41,232
  3629. A fact discovered, astraddle,
  3630. in the summer after 12th grade,
  3631.  
  3632. 765
  3633. 00:46:41,234 --> 00:46:44,832
  3634. by a nice girl named Auden
  3635. who had no quarrel with anyone.
  3636.  
  3637. 766
  3638. 00:46:44,834 --> 00:46:46,732
  3639. She ran screaming
  3640. from our rec room.
  3641.  
  3642. 767
  3643. 00:46:46,734 --> 00:46:49,064
  3644. Of course, you had sex
  3645. in your rec room.
  3646.  
  3647. 768
  3648. 00:46:49,066 --> 00:46:51,099
  3649. We had a Nutone intercom system.
  3650.  
  3651. 769
  3652. 00:46:51,101 --> 00:46:53,632
  3653. The master control
  3654. was in the kitchen.
  3655.  
  3656. 770
  3657. 00:46:53,634 --> 00:46:56,698
  3658. My parents could listen and talk to
  3659. any room in the house from there.
  3660.  
  3661. 771
  3662. 00:46:56,700 --> 00:46:59,665
  3663. I used to call the kitchen
  3664. "The Eagle's Nest."
  3665.  
  3666. 772
  3667. 00:46:59,667 --> 00:47:01,099
  3668. When my father heard
  3669. Auden wailing,
  3670.  
  3671. 773
  3672. 00:47:01,101 --> 00:47:03,498
  3673. he screamed
  3674. through the intercom,
  3675.  
  3676. 774
  3677. 00:47:03,500 --> 00:47:05,698
  3678. "What the fuck
  3679. is going on down there?"
  3680.  
  3681. 775
  3682. 00:47:05,700 --> 00:47:06,732
  3683. I said what happened.
  3684.  
  3685. 776
  3686. 00:47:06,734 --> 00:47:08,232
  3687. There was a pause,
  3688.  
  3689. 777
  3690. 00:47:08,234 --> 00:47:10,931
  3691. and then my mother said,
  3692. "Dinner's ready."
  3693.  
  3694. 778
  3695. 00:47:10,933 --> 00:47:12,832
  3696. Your mother cooked?
  3697.  
  3698. 779
  3699. 00:47:12,834 --> 00:47:14,698
  3700. On the off-chance
  3701. that we are making a baby,
  3702.  
  3703. 780
  3704. 00:47:14,700 --> 00:47:15,964
  3705. do you want a boy
  3706. or a girl?
  3707.  
  3708. 781
  3709. 00:47:15,966 --> 00:47:17,998
  3710. You're asking me this now?
  3711.  
  3712. 782
  3713. 00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:20,099
  3714. I'm killing time.
  3715.  
  3716. 783
  3717. 00:47:20,101 --> 00:47:22,598
  3718. Uh, a boy.
  3719.  
  3720. 784
  3721. 00:47:22,600 --> 00:47:25,531
  3722. My mother actually told
  3723. me there's a way to get a boy.
  3724.  
  3725. 785
  3726. 00:47:25,533 --> 00:47:27,598
  3727. - Oh, this ought to be good.
  3728. - Yeah.
  3729.  
  3730. 786
  3731. 00:47:27,600 --> 00:47:31,832
  3732. At the moment of climax, just
  3733. shout out, "Oh, boy! Oh, boy!"
  3734.  
  3735. 787
  3736. 00:47:31,834 --> 00:47:34,565
  3737. Can we please stop
  3738. talking about your mother.
  3739.  
  3740. 788
  3741. 00:47:34,567 --> 00:47:36,698
  3742. But I don't know why
  3743. you'd possibly want a boy,
  3744.  
  3745. 789
  3746. 00:47:36,700 --> 00:47:38,132
  3747. considering, you know,
  3748.  
  3749. 790
  3750. 00:47:38,134 --> 00:47:40,964
  3751. the baseline quality of
  3752. your relationships with men.
  3753.  
  3754. 791
  3755. 00:47:40,966 --> 00:47:42,964
  3756. Oh. What, revenge?
  3757.  
  3758. 792
  3759. 00:47:45,234 --> 00:47:47,665
  3760. Oh, Jesus, Frank!
  3761.  
  3762. 793
  3763. 00:47:47,667 --> 00:47:50,598
  3764. Jesus effing Christ!
  3765.  
  3766. 794
  3767. 00:47:53,134 --> 00:47:55,798
  3768. Oh, God, you look like
  3769. you're gonna throw up!
  3770.  
  3771. 795
  3772. 00:47:55,800 --> 00:47:57,831
  3773. Why would I?
  3774. You're a very attractive woman.
  3775.  
  3776. 796
  3777. 00:47:57,833 --> 00:47:59,665
  3778. Not from that.
  3779.  
  3780. 797
  3781. 00:47:59,667 --> 00:48:00,898
  3782. Oh, right,
  3783. sorry.
  3784.  
  3785. 798
  3786. 00:48:00,900 --> 00:48:02,199
  3787. Oh, God!
  3788.  
  3789. 799
  3790. 00:48:02,201 --> 00:48:04,598
  3791. No!
  3792. No, no, no, no!
  3793.  
  3794. 800
  3795. 00:48:04,600 --> 00:48:06,465
  3796. - No?
  3797. - No, not "no."
  3798.  
  3799. 801
  3800. 00:48:06,467 --> 00:48:07,898
  3801. I'm just
  3802. a very negative person.
  3803.  
  3804. 802
  3805. 00:48:07,900 --> 00:48:09,032
  3806. Okay.
  3807.  
  3808. 803
  3809. 00:48:09,034 --> 00:48:11,032
  3810. I'm expressing
  3811. incredulity!
  3812.  
  3813. 804
  3814. 00:48:11,034 --> 00:48:12,831
  3815. Got it.
  3816.  
  3817. 805
  3818. 00:48:12,833 --> 00:48:14,232
  3819. - No!
  3820. - Ah!
  3821.  
  3822. 806
  3823. 00:48:14,234 --> 00:48:16,831
  3824. No! No! No!
  3825. No! No!
  3826.  
  3827. 807
  3828. 00:48:16,833 --> 00:48:18,931
  3829. Oh, boy!
  3830. Oh, boy!
  3831.  
  3832. 808
  3833. 00:48:18,933 --> 00:48:20,665
  3834. Oh, boy!
  3835.  
  3836. 809
  3837. 00:48:20,667 --> 00:48:24,632
  3838. Yeah!
  3839. Oh, boy!
  3840.  
  3841. 810
  3842. 00:48:30,833 --> 00:48:32,632
  3843. Anytime, pal.
  3844.  
  3845. 811
  3846. 00:48:32,634 --> 00:48:33,964
  3847. Can you not talk right now?
  3848.  
  3849. 812
  3850. 00:48:33,966 --> 00:48:35,465
  3851. Fine.
  3852.  
  3853. 813
  3854. 00:48:35,467 --> 00:48:37,931
  3855. - It's gonna get cold out.
  3856. - No, it won't.
  3857.  
  3858. 814
  3859. 00:48:37,933 --> 00:48:40,199
  3860. Yes, it will.
  3861. It's the Paso Robles Diurnal.
  3862.  
  3863. 815
  3864. 00:48:40,201 --> 00:48:42,898
  3865. There's
  3866. sweeping wind temperatures.
  3867.  
  3868. 816
  3869. 00:48:42,900 --> 00:48:44,831
  3870. Don't you know anything
  3871. about meteorology?
  3872.  
  3873. 817
  3874. 00:48:44,833 --> 00:48:46,864
  3875. No!
  3876.  
  3877. 818
  3878. 00:48:46,866 --> 00:48:49,132
  3879. Oh, God. Kelp.
  3880.  
  3881. 819
  3882. 00:48:49,134 --> 00:48:51,065
  3883. - Help?
  3884. - No, kelp.
  3885.  
  3886. 820
  3887. 00:48:51,067 --> 00:48:53,665
  3888. There's kelp at
  3889. or near my vagina.
  3890.  
  3891. 821
  3892. 00:48:53,667 --> 00:48:56,032
  3893. Oh, that's grass.
  3894. We're in grass.
  3895.  
  3896. 822
  3897. 00:48:56,034 --> 00:48:57,598
  3898. How is that better?
  3899.  
  3900. 823
  3901. 00:48:57,600 --> 00:48:59,640
  3902. You put the ocean in my head
  3903. with the fucking crabs.
  3904.  
  3905. 824
  3906. 00:49:28,567 --> 00:49:29,797
  3907. What?
  3908.  
  3909. 825
  3910. 00:49:29,799 --> 00:49:31,467
  3911. I had a purse.
  3912.  
  3913. 826
  3914. 00:49:37,201 --> 00:49:39,132
  3915. Do you want a drink?
  3916.  
  3917. 827
  3918. 00:49:39,134 --> 00:49:42,165
  3919. I want all the drinks poured
  3920. directly down my gullet.
  3921.  
  3922. 828
  3923. 00:49:42,167 --> 00:49:45,132
  3924. Why don't we go to your room
  3925. and crack open your minibar?
  3926.  
  3927. 829
  3928. 00:49:45,134 --> 00:49:46,632
  3929. Why don't we
  3930. go to your room
  3931.  
  3932. 830
  3933. 00:49:46,634 --> 00:49:49,099
  3934. and crack open
  3935. your goddamn minibar?
  3936.  
  3937. 831
  3938. 00:49:49,101 --> 00:49:51,697
  3939. Frank.
  3940. We're alive.
  3941.  
  3942. 832
  3943. 00:49:51,699 --> 00:49:53,600
  3944. What does that have
  3945. to do with anything?
  3946.  
  3947. 833
  3948. 00:50:16,667 --> 00:50:18,831
  3949. - How do you know the words to this?
  3950. - Come on.
  3951.  
  3952. 834
  3953. 00:50:28,833 --> 00:50:32,132
  3954. What?
  3955.  
  3956. 835
  3957. 00:50:34,067 --> 00:50:35,697
  3958. <i>But at some point,</i>
  3959.  
  3960. 836
  3961. 00:50:35,699 --> 00:50:38,132
  3962. <i>don't you think it just starts
  3963. to look a little ridiculous?</i>
  3964.  
  3965. 837
  3966. 00:50:38,134 --> 00:50:41,531
  3967. <i>Think about it, this guy was formally
  3968. the head of the committee...</i>
  3969.  
  3970. 838
  3971. 00:50:41,533 --> 00:50:43,764
  3972. "Formerly," not "form-ally."
  3973.  
  3974. 839
  3975. 00:50:43,766 --> 00:50:45,400
  3976. I know, it's appalling.
  3977.  
  3978. 840
  3979. 00:50:46,766 --> 00:50:48,831
  3980. Seriously, the chocolate?
  3981.  
  3982. 841
  3983. 00:50:48,833 --> 00:50:52,032
  3984. We're not going to drink without eating.
  3985. Alcoholics do that.
  3986.  
  3987. 842
  3988. 00:50:52,034 --> 00:50:53,899
  3989. The chocolate
  3990. is the most expensive thing
  3991.  
  3992. 843
  3993. 00:50:53,901 --> 00:50:55,232
  3994. in the minibar
  3995. besides the...
  3996.  
  3997. 844
  3998. 00:50:55,234 --> 00:50:57,531
  3999. wine.
  4000.  
  4001. 845
  4002. 00:50:57,533 --> 00:50:59,565
  4003. Would you rather we had
  4004. ordered room service?
  4005.  
  4006. 846
  4007. 00:50:59,567 --> 00:51:00,865
  4008. Definitely not.
  4009.  
  4010. 847
  4011. 00:51:00,867 --> 00:51:02,865
  4012. I spoke to the front desk.
  4013.  
  4014. 848
  4015. 00:51:02,867 --> 00:51:05,697
  4016. They add a delivery fee,
  4017. a 17 percent gratuity,
  4018.  
  4019. 849
  4020. 00:51:05,699 --> 00:51:08,631
  4021. and some sort of fuckin' cover
  4022. charge, like we're in Italy.
  4023.  
  4024. 850
  4025. 00:51:08,633 --> 00:51:12,165
  4026. I've always wondered why
  4027. they give you two glasses
  4028.  
  4029. 851
  4030. 00:51:12,167 --> 00:51:13,965
  4031. even when
  4032. you're traveling alone.
  4033.  
  4034. 852
  4035. 00:51:13,967 --> 00:51:16,697
  4036. Because one
  4037. would be so sad.
  4038.  
  4039. 853
  4040. 00:51:16,699 --> 00:51:18,132
  4041. Here's to...
  4042. What?
  4043.  
  4044. 854
  4045. 00:51:18,134 --> 00:51:19,733
  4046. Please.
  4047.  
  4048. 855
  4049. 00:51:33,834 --> 00:51:36,132
  4050. It's not hashish.
  4051.  
  4052. 856
  4053. 00:51:36,134 --> 00:51:38,764
  4054. I'm not wearing anything
  4055. under my pajamas.
  4056.  
  4057. 857
  4058. 00:51:38,766 --> 00:51:40,565
  4059. Why would you?
  4060. They're so alluring.
  4061.  
  4062. 858
  4063. 00:51:40,567 --> 00:51:43,597
  4064. I didn't think I was gonna
  4065. be intimate this weekend.
  4066.  
  4067. 859
  4068. 00:51:43,599 --> 00:51:44,965
  4069. Or any weekend.
  4070.  
  4071. 860
  4072. 00:51:44,967 --> 00:51:47,165
  4073. Superman couldn't see
  4074. through those pajamas.
  4075.  
  4076. 861
  4077. 00:51:47,167 --> 00:51:48,531
  4078. So you tried.
  4079.  
  4080. 862
  4081. 00:51:48,533 --> 00:51:51,132
  4082. People have jousted
  4083. in lighter clothing.
  4084.  
  4085. 863
  4086. 00:51:51,134 --> 00:51:53,165
  4087. - Frank?
  4088. - Present.
  4089.  
  4090. 864
  4091. 00:51:53,167 --> 00:51:56,099
  4092. When you said before that
  4093. I was an attractive woman,
  4094.  
  4095. 865
  4096. 00:51:56,101 --> 00:51:57,731
  4097. what did you mean?
  4098.  
  4099. 866
  4100. 00:51:57,733 --> 00:51:59,465
  4101. What do you mean
  4102. what did I mean?
  4103.  
  4104. 867
  4105. 00:51:59,467 --> 00:52:01,498
  4106. You're an attractive woman.
  4107. You're physically appealing.
  4108.  
  4109. 868
  4110. 00:52:01,500 --> 00:52:02,901
  4111. Can you be more specific?
  4112.  
  4113. 869
  4114. 00:52:04,599 --> 00:52:07,899
  4115. Your facial features
  4116. subscribe to the Golden Ratio.
  4117.  
  4118. 870
  4119. 00:52:07,901 --> 00:52:09,564
  4120. What?
  4121.  
  4122. 871
  4123. 00:52:09,566 --> 00:52:12,564
  4124. One to the quantity one half
  4125. times radical five plus one.
  4126.  
  4127. 872
  4128. 00:52:12,566 --> 00:52:13,932
  4129. The Golden Ratio.
  4130.  
  4131. 873
  4132. 00:52:13,934 --> 00:52:15,498
  4133. You can tell that?
  4134.  
  4135. 874
  4136. 00:52:15,500 --> 00:52:17,099
  4137. It's an estimate.
  4138.  
  4139. 875
  4140. 00:52:17,101 --> 00:52:19,531
  4141. And you have
  4142. The Folds of Aphrodite.
  4143.  
  4144. 876
  4145. 00:52:19,533 --> 00:52:21,731
  4146. What are the Folds
  4147. of Aphrodite?
  4148.  
  4149. 877
  4150. 00:52:21,733 --> 00:52:23,731
  4151. That's the name of the
  4152. particular, graceful way
  4153.  
  4154. 878
  4155. 00:52:23,733 --> 00:52:25,099
  4156. that the cheeks
  4157. of beautiful women
  4158.  
  4159. 879
  4160. 00:52:25,101 --> 00:52:27,731
  4161. arrange themselves
  4162. when they smile.
  4163.  
  4164. 880
  4165. 00:52:27,733 --> 00:52:31,132
  4166. There's a gentle creasing
  4167. that begins at the cheekbone
  4168.  
  4169. 881
  4170. 00:52:31,134 --> 00:52:34,032
  4171. and runs downward,
  4172. in a slightly arced diagonal,
  4173.  
  4174. 882
  4175. 00:52:34,034 --> 00:52:37,232
  4176. directing the eye
  4177. to the mouth.
  4178.  
  4179. 883
  4180. 00:52:37,234 --> 00:52:39,467
  4181. It's aesthetically thrilling.
  4182.  
  4183. 884
  4184. 00:52:41,633 --> 00:52:45,132
  4185. Well...
  4186. I've never heard the term
  4187.  
  4188. 885
  4189. 00:52:45,134 --> 00:52:46,965
  4190. "Folds of Aphrodite."
  4191.  
  4192. 886
  4193. 00:52:46,967 --> 00:52:48,732
  4194. I coined it.
  4195.  
  4196. 887
  4197. 00:52:48,734 --> 00:52:50,664
  4198. Then it's not a real thing.
  4199.  
  4200. 888
  4201. 00:52:50,666 --> 00:52:53,132
  4202. Then it and you
  4203. are bullshit.
  4204.  
  4205. 889
  4206. 00:52:53,134 --> 00:52:55,865
  4207. I googled around and there was
  4208. no name for it so I coined it.
  4209.  
  4210. 890
  4211. 00:52:55,867 --> 00:52:58,732
  4212. - It's established now.
  4213. - Bullshit.
  4214.  
  4215. 891
  4216. 00:52:58,734 --> 00:53:02,232
  4217. In my experience, there's at least a 90
  4218. percent correlation between beautiful women
  4219.  
  4220. 892
  4221. 00:53:02,234 --> 00:53:04,932
  4222. - and women who have The Folds of Aphrodite.
  4223. - Oh...
  4224.  
  4225. 893
  4226. 00:53:04,934 --> 00:53:07,865
  4227. The Folds cut across races
  4228. and ethnicities.
  4229.  
  4230. 894
  4231. 00:53:07,867 --> 00:53:09,467
  4232. What else about me?
  4233.  
  4234. 895
  4235. 00:53:10,532 --> 00:53:11,798
  4236. Well...
  4237.  
  4238. 896
  4239. 00:53:15,934 --> 00:53:17,698
  4240. you're slender,
  4241.  
  4242. 897
  4243. 00:53:17,700 --> 00:53:20,465
  4244. but not to the point of a
  4245. troubled relationship with food.
  4246.  
  4247. 898
  4248. 00:53:20,467 --> 00:53:22,597
  4249. That's actionable profiling,
  4250. right there.
  4251.  
  4252. 899
  4253. 00:53:22,599 --> 00:53:24,597
  4254. File a grievance.
  4255.  
  4256. 900
  4257. 00:53:24,599 --> 00:53:28,032
  4258. And your curves are very
  4259. sexy but not vulgar.
  4260.  
  4261. 901
  4262. 00:53:28,034 --> 00:53:30,032
  4263. Everything very much
  4264. in proportion,
  4265.  
  4266. 902
  4267. 00:53:30,034 --> 00:53:32,199
  4268. firm but not overly,
  4269.  
  4270. 903
  4271. 00:53:32,201 --> 00:53:35,564
  4272. which I've always found
  4273. weird and prepossessing.
  4274.  
  4275. 904
  4276. 00:53:35,566 --> 00:53:38,732
  4277. Your arms bespeak physical
  4278. fitness and athleticism,
  4279.  
  4280. 905
  4281. 00:53:38,734 --> 00:53:40,530
  4282. but nothing sapphic.
  4283.  
  4284. 906
  4285. 00:53:40,532 --> 00:53:43,665
  4286. And your ankles quietly aver
  4287.  
  4288. 907
  4289. 00:53:43,667 --> 00:53:46,732
  4290. that you will keep your body
  4291. well into later age.
  4292.  
  4293. 908
  4294. 00:53:46,734 --> 00:53:49,832
  4295. It's despicable
  4296. the way men look at women.
  4297.  
  4298. 909
  4299. 00:53:49,834 --> 00:53:54,599
  4300. In short, you are beautiful,
  4301. graceful, and elegant.
  4302.  
  4303. 910
  4304. 00:53:56,101 --> 00:53:59,665
  4305. Also, you don't dress
  4306. in an overtly sexy way.
  4307.  
  4308. 911
  4309. 00:53:59,667 --> 00:54:01,832
  4310. You seem to understand
  4311. that dressing sexy
  4312.  
  4313. 912
  4314. 00:54:01,834 --> 00:54:04,631
  4315. is actually the opposite
  4316. of being sexy,
  4317.  
  4318. 913
  4319. 00:54:04,633 --> 00:54:06,865
  4320. that certain information
  4321. should have to be earned,
  4322.  
  4323. 914
  4324. 00:54:06,867 --> 00:54:08,732
  4325. rather than given away
  4326. for free
  4327.  
  4328. 915
  4329. 00:54:08,734 --> 00:54:11,631
  4330. to anyone and everyone
  4331. who passeth by your doorstep.
  4332.  
  4333. 916
  4334. 00:54:11,633 --> 00:54:13,798
  4335. If this were 1732.
  4336.  
  4337. 917
  4338. 00:54:13,800 --> 00:54:15,165
  4339. I'm giving you
  4340. a compliment.
  4341.  
  4342. 918
  4343. 00:54:15,167 --> 00:54:16,665
  4344. You're calling me
  4345. a prude.
  4346.  
  4347. 919
  4348. 00:54:16,667 --> 00:54:18,798
  4349. I'm suggesting that
  4350. you've taken the high road.
  4351.  
  4352. 920
  4353. 00:54:18,800 --> 00:54:20,965
  4354. Even in this flagrant,
  4355. flaunting day and age,
  4356.  
  4357. 921
  4358. 00:54:20,967 --> 00:54:23,199
  4359. you have chosen
  4360. to preserve the mystery.
  4361.  
  4362. 922
  4363. 00:54:23,201 --> 00:54:27,901
  4364. Yes, the pajamas go too far,
  4365. but I applaud the ethos.
  4366.  
  4367. 923
  4368. 00:54:30,001 --> 00:54:32,497
  4369. - Would you like to know about you?
  4370. - No.
  4371.  
  4372. 924
  4373. 00:54:32,499 --> 00:54:33,734
  4374. Yes, you would.
  4375.  
  4376. 925
  4377. 00:54:35,700 --> 00:54:37,632
  4378. You're very handsome.
  4379.  
  4380. 926
  4381. 00:54:37,634 --> 00:54:40,632
  4382. You have powerful eyes.
  4383.  
  4384. 927
  4385. 00:54:40,634 --> 00:54:43,632
  4386. Your hair
  4387. will never be a problem.
  4388.  
  4389. 928
  4390. 00:54:43,634 --> 00:54:46,732
  4391. The corners
  4392. of your mouth touch
  4393.  
  4394. 929
  4395. 00:54:46,734 --> 00:54:51,132
  4396. but do not cross the vertical
  4397. lines which bisect your eyes.
  4398.  
  4399. 930
  4400. 00:54:51,134 --> 00:54:54,497
  4401. In profile, your chin extends
  4402. exactly the same as your lower lip,
  4403.  
  4404. 931
  4405. 00:54:54,499 --> 00:54:56,464
  4406. which is an ideal.
  4407.  
  4408. 932
  4409. 00:54:56,466 --> 00:55:01,497
  4410. Bodily, you feel strong and
  4411. substantial, sinuous but not wiry.
  4412.  
  4413. 933
  4414. 00:55:01,499 --> 00:55:03,232
  4415. Sartorially,
  4416. you get high marks.
  4417.  
  4418. 934
  4419. 00:55:03,234 --> 00:55:04,965
  4420. You tuck in your shirts
  4421. because you realize
  4422.  
  4423. 935
  4424. 00:55:04,967 --> 00:55:07,999
  4425. that tails out is
  4426. a ridiculous way to dress.
  4427.  
  4428. 936
  4429. 00:55:08,001 --> 00:55:10,899
  4430. You wear your pants low, and
  4431. your shoes are legitimate.
  4432.  
  4433. 937
  4434. 00:55:10,901 --> 00:55:14,965
  4435. And you have
  4436. a beautiful penis.
  4437.  
  4438. 938
  4439. 00:55:14,967 --> 00:55:16,665
  4440. I do?
  4441.  
  4442. 939
  4443. 00:55:16,667 --> 00:55:18,132
  4444. Oh, come on, Frank.
  4445.  
  4446. 940
  4447. 00:55:18,134 --> 00:55:21,001
  4448. Surely people have told you
  4449. that your entire life.
  4450.  
  4451. 941
  4452. 00:55:22,167 --> 00:55:23,565
  4453. No.
  4454.  
  4455. 942
  4456. 00:55:23,567 --> 00:55:25,899
  4457. Well, it's very nice.
  4458.  
  4459. 943
  4460. 00:55:25,901 --> 00:55:27,565
  4461. It's straight,
  4462.  
  4463. 944
  4464. 00:55:27,567 --> 00:55:30,099
  4465. and you would not believe how
  4466. epidemic a problem that is.
  4467.  
  4468. 945
  4469. 00:55:30,101 --> 00:55:33,899
  4470. Also,
  4471. it's balletically formed.
  4472.  
  4473. 946
  4474. 00:55:33,901 --> 00:55:39,199
  4475. It's not so big as to ever
  4476. be a cause for concern,
  4477.  
  4478. 947
  4479. 00:55:39,201 --> 00:55:42,899
  4480. but it's big enough never to be
  4481. the object of ridicule or scorn.
  4482.  
  4483. 948
  4484. 00:55:42,901 --> 00:55:45,899
  4485. You're in
  4486. a very sweet spot there.
  4487.  
  4488. 949
  4489. 00:55:45,901 --> 00:55:48,732
  4490. Are you saying that Keith's
  4491. penis is not straight?
  4492.  
  4493. 950
  4494. 00:55:48,734 --> 00:55:52,530
  4495. Can you imagine that we would
  4496. have gone this entire weekend
  4497.  
  4498. 951
  4499. 00:55:52,532 --> 00:55:54,932
  4500. without saying these
  4501. things to each other?
  4502.  
  4503. 952
  4504. 00:55:54,934 --> 00:55:57,598
  4505. - "Balletically formed"?
  4506. - That's right.
  4507.  
  4508. 953
  4509. 00:55:57,600 --> 00:56:01,099
  4510. People are
  4511. ridiculous and pathetic.
  4512.  
  4513. 954
  4514. 00:56:01,101 --> 00:56:04,165
  4515. Animals, that's all.
  4516.  
  4517. 955
  4518. 00:56:04,167 --> 00:56:07,999
  4519. We want to believe that there's some
  4520. high-minded, cosmic meaning behind love,
  4521.  
  4522. 956
  4523. 00:56:08,001 --> 00:56:09,698
  4524. but the truth is
  4525. we're drawn to,
  4526.  
  4527. 957
  4528. 00:56:09,700 --> 00:56:11,632
  4529. and make most of our
  4530. decisions based upon,
  4531.  
  4532. 958
  4533. 00:56:11,634 --> 00:56:15,865
  4534. shapes we find appealing,
  4535. and colors and textures
  4536.  
  4537. 959
  4538. 00:56:15,867 --> 00:56:19,531
  4539. and smells and tastes
  4540. and spatial relations.
  4541.  
  4542. 960
  4543. 00:56:19,533 --> 00:56:21,932
  4544. It's so stupid.
  4545.  
  4546. 961
  4547. 00:56:21,934 --> 00:56:24,132
  4548. This is pretty good.
  4549.  
  4550. 962
  4551. 00:56:24,134 --> 00:56:26,199
  4552. I mean, when I think about
  4553. what people look like
  4554.  
  4555. 963
  4556. 00:56:26,201 --> 00:56:29,832
  4557. when they kiss or have sex,
  4558. I want to vomit.
  4559.  
  4560. 964
  4561. 00:56:29,834 --> 00:56:31,732
  4562. You almost did vomit.
  4563.  
  4564. 965
  4565. 00:56:31,734 --> 00:56:35,498
  4566. I mean, there's nothing beautiful
  4567. or transcendent about being human.
  4568.  
  4569. 966
  4570. 00:56:35,500 --> 00:56:37,999
  4571. Ultimately,
  4572. it's just a filthy business
  4573.  
  4574. 967
  4575. 00:56:38,001 --> 00:56:41,698
  4576. of a revolting species
  4577. trying to survive.
  4578.  
  4579. 968
  4580. 00:56:41,700 --> 00:56:44,531
  4581. I mean, if you've ever really
  4582. watched another person eat,
  4583.  
  4584. 969
  4585. 00:56:44,533 --> 00:56:46,665
  4586. or seen yourself in a mirror
  4587. taking a shit,
  4588.  
  4589. 970
  4590. 00:56:46,667 --> 00:56:49,531
  4591. or walked through
  4592. South Coast Plaza,
  4593.  
  4594. 971
  4595. 00:56:49,533 --> 00:56:51,531
  4596. you know exactly
  4597. what I'm talking about.
  4598.  
  4599. 972
  4600. 00:56:51,533 --> 00:56:54,165
  4601. But I had my eyes open
  4602. when I was fucking you,
  4603.  
  4604. 973
  4605. 00:56:54,167 --> 00:56:56,065
  4606. and I thought we must
  4607. have looked pretty good.
  4608.  
  4609. 974
  4610. 00:56:56,067 --> 00:56:58,999
  4611. My father thought
  4612. he had a good golf swing.
  4613.  
  4614. 975
  4615. 00:57:00,201 --> 00:57:01,500
  4616. Wait.
  4617.  
  4618. 976
  4619. 00:57:04,234 --> 00:57:06,932
  4620. Do a groove chew.
  4621.  
  4622. 977
  4623. 00:57:06,934 --> 00:57:08,765
  4624. I'm sorry?
  4625.  
  4626. 978
  4627. 00:57:08,767 --> 00:57:10,765
  4628. It's a style
  4629. of chewing used
  4630.  
  4631. 979
  4632. 00:57:10,767 --> 00:57:12,565
  4633. when you're really
  4634. enjoying something
  4635.  
  4636. 980
  4637. 00:57:12,567 --> 00:57:14,632
  4638. that you don't have
  4639. very often.
  4640.  
  4641. 981
  4642. 00:57:14,634 --> 00:57:16,134
  4643. Like this.
  4644.  
  4645. 982
  4646. 00:57:18,634 --> 00:57:19,634
  4647. Mm!
  4648.  
  4649. 983
  4650. 00:57:21,067 --> 00:57:22,067
  4651. Mm!
  4652.  
  4653. 984
  4654. 00:57:24,901 --> 00:57:27,132
  4655. - This is a thing?
  4656. - I coined it.
  4657.  
  4658. 985
  4659. 00:57:27,134 --> 00:57:29,498
  4660. And you're not embarrassed?
  4661.  
  4662. 986
  4663. 00:57:29,500 --> 00:57:31,134
  4664. All right, just come on.
  4665. Just try.
  4666.  
  4667. 987
  4668. 00:57:34,634 --> 00:57:35,965
  4669. - Mmm...
  4670. - Mm.
  4671.  
  4672. 988
  4673. 00:57:35,967 --> 00:57:38,467
  4674. - Mmm!
  4675. - Mmm-mm!
  4676.  
  4677. 989
  4678. 00:57:45,167 --> 00:57:47,632
  4679. - Can you groove swallow?
  4680. - You can.
  4681.  
  4682. 990
  4683. 00:57:47,634 --> 00:57:49,734
  4684. - Can we groove swallow now?
  4685. - Okay, fine.
  4686.  
  4687. 991
  4688. 00:58:06,201 --> 00:58:07,901
  4689. - Huh?
  4690. - Uh...
  4691.  
  4692. 992
  4693. 00:58:14,134 --> 00:58:16,467
  4694. <i>I remember the
  4695. first time I ever saw you.</i>
  4696.  
  4697. 993
  4698. 00:58:17,634 --> 00:58:19,165
  4699. <i>It was a partial nephrectomy.</i>
  4700.  
  4701. 994
  4702. 00:58:19,167 --> 00:58:22,567
  4703. <i>You were standing in for Dr.
  4704. Sumner who had an emergency.</i>
  4705.  
  4706. 995
  4707. 00:58:24,067 --> 00:58:25,798
  4708. <i>With your cap and mask,</i>
  4709.  
  4710. 996
  4711. 00:58:25,800 --> 00:58:27,867
  4712. <i>all I could see
  4713. were your eyes.</i>
  4714.  
  4715. 997
  4716. 00:58:29,500 --> 00:58:31,001
  4717. <i>And I remember thinking...</i>
  4718.  
  4719. 998
  4720. 00:58:31,967 --> 00:58:33,467
  4721. <i>thank God.</i>
  4722.  
  4723. 999
  4724. 00:58:35,800 --> 00:58:38,531
  4725. <i>Because anything more
  4726. would be too much to bear.</i>
  4727.  
  4728. 1000
  4729. 00:58:38,533 --> 00:58:40,465
  4730. Stop worrying
  4731. about fucking each other
  4732.  
  4733. 1001
  4734. 00:58:40,467 --> 00:58:43,032
  4735. and start saving the people
  4736. who are dying in your hospital.
  4737.  
  4738. 1002
  4739. 00:58:43,034 --> 00:58:46,032
  4740. Your patient has a
  4741. snake in his urethra.
  4742.  
  4743. 1003
  4744. 00:58:46,034 --> 00:58:48,065
  4745. You should all
  4746. lose your licenses.
  4747.  
  4748. 1004
  4749. 00:58:48,067 --> 00:58:51,498
  4750. When my time comes,
  4751. I will sign a DNR.
  4752.  
  4753. 1005
  4754. 00:58:51,500 --> 00:58:53,965
  4755. I won't.
  4756. I want to be resuscitated.
  4757.  
  4758. 1006
  4759. 00:58:53,967 --> 00:58:57,065
  4760. I want to be intubated, revived,
  4761. retrieved, and prolonged.
  4762.  
  4763. 1007
  4764. 00:58:57,067 --> 00:58:58,531
  4765. I want them
  4766. to zap me with clappers
  4767.  
  4768. 1008
  4769. 00:58:58,533 --> 00:59:02,099
  4770. and inject my heart with that long needle
  4771. of adrenaline... whatever it takes.
  4772.  
  4773. 1009
  4774. 00:59:02,101 --> 00:59:04,132
  4775. What? But, what if
  4776. there's no hope?
  4777.  
  4778. 1010
  4779. 00:59:04,134 --> 00:59:05,598
  4780. There's already no hope.
  4781.  
  4782. 1011
  4783. 00:59:05,600 --> 00:59:08,164
  4784. But what if you're just
  4785. a burden to your family
  4786.  
  4787. 1012
  4788. 00:59:08,166 --> 00:59:10,832
  4789. and, by extension, the
  4790. entire health-care system?
  4791.  
  4792. 1013
  4793. 00:59:10,834 --> 00:59:12,032
  4794. Won't give a shit.
  4795.  
  4796. 1014
  4797. 00:59:12,034 --> 00:59:13,999
  4798. I want them
  4799. to stave off death.
  4800.  
  4801. 1015
  4802. 00:59:14,001 --> 00:59:16,665
  4803. I don't care if there's turnips
  4804. with better brain-wave patterns.
  4805.  
  4806. 1016
  4807. 00:59:16,667 --> 00:59:17,899
  4808. Legumes.
  4809.  
  4810. 1017
  4811. 00:59:17,901 --> 00:59:19,765
  4812. But I thought
  4813. you hated life.
  4814.  
  4815. 1018
  4816. 00:59:19,767 --> 00:59:21,965
  4817. I do, but I'm going to
  4818. be dead for a long time,
  4819.  
  4820. 1019
  4821. 00:59:21,967 --> 00:59:23,899
  4822. so there's no rush.
  4823.  
  4824. 1020
  4825. 00:59:23,901 --> 00:59:25,198
  4826. Do you want
  4827. to have children?
  4828.  
  4829. 1021
  4830. 00:59:25,200 --> 00:59:26,732
  4831. I'd rather be dead
  4832. in a ditch.
  4833.  
  4834. 1022
  4835. 00:59:26,734 --> 00:59:28,698
  4836. Oh.
  4837.  
  4838. 1023
  4839. 00:59:28,700 --> 00:59:31,065
  4840. I mean, why would I do
  4841. that to those poor souls?
  4842.  
  4843. 1024
  4844. 00:59:31,067 --> 00:59:33,698
  4845. Well, for the same reason
  4846. you want to be resuscitated.
  4847.  
  4848. 1025
  4849. 00:59:33,700 --> 00:59:37,565
  4850. Because being, as bad as it
  4851. is, is better than not being.
  4852.  
  4853. 1026
  4854. 00:59:37,567 --> 00:59:39,698
  4855. This is a horrible place
  4856. to be.
  4857.  
  4858. 1027
  4859. 00:59:39,700 --> 00:59:41,965
  4860. Central California,
  4861. or the whole thing?
  4862.  
  4863. 1028
  4864. 00:59:41,967 --> 00:59:44,632
  4865. I'm already alive.
  4866. I already know shit.
  4867.  
  4868. 1029
  4869. 00:59:44,634 --> 00:59:46,598
  4870. But unborn children
  4871. are none the wiser
  4872.  
  4873. 1030
  4874. 00:59:46,600 --> 00:59:48,531
  4875. and deserve to be protected
  4876. from certain things,
  4877.  
  4878. 1031
  4879. 00:59:48,533 --> 00:59:49,999
  4880. like being alive
  4881. in the first place.
  4882.  
  4883. 1032
  4884. 00:59:50,001 --> 00:59:51,765
  4885. That makes no sense.
  4886.  
  4887. 1033
  4888. 00:59:51,767 --> 00:59:53,932
  4889. Living was not my choice.
  4890. It was my mother's.
  4891.  
  4892. 1034
  4893. 00:59:53,934 --> 00:59:55,965
  4894. Have you ever heard
  4895. of anything more selfish?
  4896.  
  4897. 1035
  4898. 00:59:55,967 --> 00:59:58,665
  4899. - I hope I'm not pregnant.
  4900. - That's all I'm saying.
  4901.  
  4902. 1036
  4903. 00:59:58,667 --> 01:00:00,765
  4904. Why did your father
  4905. leave your mother?
  4906.  
  4907. 1037
  4908. 01:00:00,767 --> 01:00:01,932
  4909. Because he could.
  4910.  
  4911. 1038
  4912. 01:00:01,934 --> 01:00:04,065
  4913. Because he had the power
  4914. of locomotion.
  4915.  
  4916. 1039
  4917. 01:00:04,067 --> 01:00:07,932
  4918. Why did she keep and hyphenate
  4919. both her divorced last names?
  4920.  
  4921. 1040
  4922. 01:00:07,934 --> 01:00:10,531
  4923. Because she thought
  4924. it made her sound aristocratic.
  4925.  
  4926. 1041
  4927. 01:00:10,533 --> 01:00:12,131
  4928. Also, this way
  4929. she gets all her mail.
  4930.  
  4931. 1042
  4932. 01:00:12,133 --> 01:00:16,098
  4933. And what would you say
  4934. is the major barrier
  4935.  
  4936. 1043
  4937. 01:00:16,100 --> 01:00:18,698
  4938. to a warm relationship between
  4939. you and your half-brother?
  4940.  
  4941. 1044
  4942. 01:00:18,700 --> 01:00:21,465
  4943. He's a douchebag. Why are you
  4944. asking me these questions?
  4945.  
  4946. 1045
  4947. 01:00:21,467 --> 01:00:23,598
  4948. Just... I don't know.
  4949.  
  4950. 1046
  4951. 01:00:23,600 --> 01:00:27,632
  4952. I'm just evaluating your qualifications
  4953. as an ongoing love interest.
  4954.  
  4955. 1047
  4956. 01:00:27,634 --> 01:00:29,498
  4957. Not that
  4958. I'm advocating that.
  4959.  
  4960. 1048
  4961. 01:00:29,500 --> 01:00:32,098
  4962. Clearly, you're an emotional
  4963. cripple, as am I.
  4964.  
  4965. 1049
  4966. 01:00:32,100 --> 01:00:36,865
  4967. I don't have any qualifications as an
  4968. ongoing love interest and neither do you.
  4969.  
  4970. 1050
  4971. 01:00:36,867 --> 01:00:38,965
  4972. But love interest
  4973. is too strong a word.
  4974.  
  4975. 1051
  4976. 01:00:38,967 --> 01:00:40,899
  4977. I, um... Affection.
  4978.  
  4979. 1052
  4980. 01:00:40,901 --> 01:00:42,531
  4981. Interest.
  4982. Tolerance interest.
  4983.  
  4984. 1053
  4985. 01:00:42,533 --> 01:00:44,531
  4986. This isn't
  4987. going to be ongoing.
  4988.  
  4989. 1054
  4990. 01:00:44,533 --> 01:00:46,698
  4991. What, you've just decided
  4992. that unilaterally?
  4993.  
  4994. 1055
  4995. 01:00:46,700 --> 01:00:49,098
  4996. - For both our sakes.
  4997. - I don't get a say?
  4998.  
  4999. 1056
  5000. 01:00:49,100 --> 01:00:51,765
  5001. No, you have terrible judgment
  5002. in this regard.
  5003.  
  5004. 1057
  5005. 01:00:51,767 --> 01:00:54,832
  5006. What, but... I...
  5007.  
  5008. 1058
  5009. 01:00:54,834 --> 01:00:58,565
  5010. My head is finally
  5011. clear, thanks to you.
  5012.  
  5013. 1059
  5014. 01:00:58,567 --> 01:01:01,164
  5015. I mean, I haven't thought about
  5016. Keith since the mountain lion.
  5017.  
  5018. 1060
  5019. 01:01:01,166 --> 01:01:03,798
  5020. So you admit
  5021. it was a mountain lion.
  5022.  
  5023. 1061
  5024. 01:01:03,800 --> 01:01:06,665
  5025. Do you have any idea
  5026. how huge this is for me?
  5027.  
  5028. 1062
  5029. 01:01:06,667 --> 01:01:08,565
  5030. If it's true,
  5031. the mountain lion and I
  5032.  
  5033. 1063
  5034. 01:01:08,567 --> 01:01:10,965
  5035. are happy to have
  5036. performed that service.
  5037.  
  5038. 1064
  5039. 01:01:10,967 --> 01:01:14,565
  5040. But now, apparently, no
  5041. good deed goes unpunished.
  5042.  
  5043. 1065
  5044. 01:01:14,567 --> 01:01:16,698
  5045. I think
  5046. I finally have closure.
  5047.  
  5048. 1066
  5049. 01:01:16,700 --> 01:01:18,932
  5050. I don't trust that statement
  5051. and neither should you.
  5052.  
  5053. 1067
  5054. 01:01:18,934 --> 01:01:20,565
  5055. But you want to.
  5056.  
  5057. 1068
  5058. 01:01:20,567 --> 01:01:22,798
  5059. You don't just jump from one
  5060. love object to another.
  5061.  
  5062. 1069
  5063. 01:01:22,800 --> 01:01:24,698
  5064. - Tolerance object.
  5065. - That's how mistakes are made.
  5066.  
  5067. 1070
  5068. 01:01:24,700 --> 01:01:26,465
  5069. All I make are mistakes.
  5070.  
  5071. 1071
  5072. 01:01:26,467 --> 01:01:27,932
  5073. At least this one
  5074. would be fun.
  5075.  
  5076. 1072
  5077. 01:01:27,934 --> 01:01:29,598
  5078. Are you having fun
  5079. right now?
  5080.  
  5081. 1073
  5082. 01:01:29,600 --> 01:01:32,901
  5083. Yes. I mean, we're kind of
  5084. arguing, but there's hope.
  5085.  
  5086. 1074
  5087. 01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:35,832
  5088. This is an interlude.
  5089.  
  5090. 1075
  5091. 01:01:35,834 --> 01:01:37,531
  5092. A weekend.
  5093.  
  5094. 1076
  5095. 01:01:37,533 --> 01:01:40,098
  5096. A small oasis of time
  5097. in which we can taste intimacy
  5098.  
  5099. 1077
  5100. 01:01:40,100 --> 01:01:43,498
  5101. like it's a piece of free
  5102. salami at Trader Joe's.
  5103.  
  5104. 1078
  5105. 01:01:43,500 --> 01:01:46,665
  5106. Why not? You're in the store anyway,
  5107. and you forgot to eat breakfast,
  5108.  
  5109. 1079
  5110. 01:01:46,667 --> 01:01:50,031
  5111. and it tastes okay, and afterwards
  5112. there's no salami fallout.
  5113.  
  5114. 1080
  5115. 01:01:50,033 --> 01:01:53,531
  5116. When no one's looking, you just
  5117. drop the toothpick onto the floor.
  5118.  
  5119. 1081
  5120. 01:01:53,533 --> 01:01:56,232
  5121. Man, you're not one of the...
  5122. Do you do that?
  5123.  
  5124. 1082
  5125. 01:01:56,234 --> 01:01:58,098
  5126. Well, there's no garbage
  5127. pails in that place,
  5128.  
  5129. 1083
  5130. 01:01:58,100 --> 01:02:01,199
  5131. and it's unsanitary to put the
  5132. toothpick on the receptacle napkin.
  5133.  
  5134. 1084
  5135. 01:02:01,201 --> 01:02:03,064
  5136. All right,
  5137. le... just... Okay.
  5138.  
  5139. 1085
  5140. 01:02:03,066 --> 01:02:04,632
  5141. Just... I'm just
  5142. devil's advocate.
  5143.  
  5144. 1086
  5145. 01:02:04,634 --> 01:02:06,732
  5146. Maybe...
  5147.  
  5148. 1087
  5149. 01:02:06,734 --> 01:02:08,465
  5150. just what if, okay?
  5151.  
  5152. 1088
  5153. 01:02:08,467 --> 01:02:10,064
  5154. What if it's more?
  5155.  
  5156. 1089
  5157. 01:02:10,066 --> 01:02:13,031
  5158. What if there actually
  5159. is something to the idea
  5160.  
  5161. 1090
  5162. 01:02:13,033 --> 01:02:14,899
  5163. of a destination wedding?
  5164.  
  5165. 1091
  5166. 01:02:14,901 --> 01:02:18,531
  5167. What if we've been thinking about
  5168. this whole thing backwards?
  5169.  
  5170. 1092
  5171. 01:02:18,533 --> 01:02:20,698
  5172. What if...
  5173.  
  5174. 1093
  5175. 01:02:20,700 --> 01:02:25,498
  5176. I know, but what if our real
  5177. destination was each other?
  5178.  
  5179. 1094
  5180. 01:02:25,500 --> 01:02:27,667
  5181. What if you
  5182. never say that again?
  5183.  
  5184. 1095
  5185. 01:02:29,667 --> 01:02:32,665
  5186. What if happiness
  5187. is... contagious?
  5188.  
  5189. 1096
  5190. 01:02:32,667 --> 01:02:34,098
  5191. Why would you think
  5192. that meeting someone
  5193.  
  5194. 1097
  5195. 01:02:34,100 --> 01:02:35,931
  5196. has anything to do
  5197. with being happy?
  5198.  
  5199. 1098
  5200. 01:02:35,933 --> 01:02:37,465
  5201. Because!
  5202.  
  5203. 1099
  5204. 01:02:37,467 --> 01:02:39,064
  5205. Once upon a time,
  5206. I met someone,
  5207.  
  5208. 1100
  5209. 01:02:39,066 --> 01:02:41,232
  5210. and I was happy...
  5211. I thought.
  5212.  
  5213. 1101
  5214. 01:02:41,234 --> 01:02:43,565
  5215. Personally, I'd be worried
  5216. if my life philosophy
  5217.  
  5218. 1102
  5219. 01:02:43,567 --> 01:02:45,199
  5220. began with
  5221. "Once Upon a Time."
  5222.  
  5223. 1103
  5224. 01:02:45,201 --> 01:02:47,199
  5225. Well, I was raised
  5226. by optimists.
  5227.  
  5228. 1104
  5229. 01:02:47,201 --> 01:02:49,232
  5230. But you have a preponderance
  5231. of counter-evidence.
  5232.  
  5233. 1105
  5234. 01:02:49,234 --> 01:02:51,064
  5235. Were you not watching
  5236. your own engagement?
  5237.  
  5238. 1106
  5239. 01:02:51,066 --> 01:02:53,165
  5240. - How could I have been?
  5241. - What's wrong with you?
  5242.  
  5243. 1107
  5244. 01:02:53,167 --> 01:02:55,832
  5245. Nothing. Sometimes I just
  5246. willfully reject irony.
  5247.  
  5248. 1108
  5249. 01:02:55,834 --> 01:02:57,199
  5250. You are doomed.
  5251.  
  5252. 1109
  5253. 01:02:57,201 --> 01:02:59,832
  5254. Maybe we saved
  5255. each other, Frank.
  5256.  
  5257. 1110
  5258. 01:02:59,834 --> 01:03:02,031
  5259. I mean, did you ever
  5260. think about it like that?
  5261.  
  5262. 1111
  5263. 01:03:02,033 --> 01:03:04,698
  5264. No. Neither should you.
  5265.  
  5266. 1112
  5267. 01:03:04,700 --> 01:03:07,531
  5268. I wonder how many
  5269. people met at weddings
  5270.  
  5271. 1113
  5272. 01:03:07,533 --> 01:03:09,931
  5273. - and then went on to...
  5274. - Thirty-two.
  5275.  
  5276. 1114
  5277. 01:03:09,933 --> 01:03:12,832
  5278. Why not, you know,
  5279. extend the oasis?
  5280.  
  5281. 1115
  5282. 01:03:12,834 --> 01:03:15,165
  5283. A good day here,
  5284. a good day there,
  5285.  
  5286. 1116
  5287. 01:03:15,167 --> 01:03:18,498
  5288. pretty soon you're just talking
  5289. about a couple of good days.
  5290.  
  5291. 1117
  5292. 01:03:18,500 --> 01:03:20,498
  5293. What time does our flight
  5294. land tomorrow night?
  5295.  
  5296. 1118
  5297. 01:03:20,500 --> 01:03:22,099
  5298. I don't know,
  5299. about 7:30?
  5300.  
  5301. 1119
  5302. 01:03:22,101 --> 01:03:25,465
  5303. I will extend it until
  5304. tomorrow at about 7:30.
  5305.  
  5306. 1120
  5307. 01:03:25,467 --> 01:03:28,898
  5308. Well, there's no point in
  5309. extending it another four seconds
  5310.  
  5311. 1121
  5312. 01:03:28,900 --> 01:03:31,798
  5313. if you're not gonna keep your
  5314. mind open to the possibilities.
  5315.  
  5316. 1122
  5317. 01:03:31,800 --> 01:03:33,931
  5318. Why do people need the
  5319. dangled carrot of a future?
  5320.  
  5321. 1123
  5322. 01:03:33,933 --> 01:03:35,132
  5323. Because we do.
  5324.  
  5325. 1124
  5326. 01:03:35,134 --> 01:03:37,099
  5327. Because connection
  5328. is precious,
  5329.  
  5330. 1125
  5331. 01:03:37,101 --> 01:03:39,698
  5332. therefore, it is immoral
  5333.  
  5334. 1126
  5335. 01:03:39,700 --> 01:03:42,565
  5336. to just treat each other
  5337. like dalliances,
  5338.  
  5339. 1127
  5340. 01:03:42,567 --> 01:03:44,898
  5341. even if that's what
  5342. we wind up being.
  5343.  
  5344. 1128
  5345. 01:03:44,900 --> 01:03:46,864
  5346. But that's exactly what
  5347. we wind up being.
  5348.  
  5349. 1129
  5350. 01:03:46,866 --> 01:03:49,498
  5351. Permanence is a myth,
  5352. an a... an illusion.
  5353.  
  5354. 1130
  5355. 01:03:49,500 --> 01:03:51,598
  5356. Well, I didn't say anything
  5357. about permanence.
  5358.  
  5359. 1131
  5360. 01:03:51,600 --> 01:03:55,465
  5361. I was speaking of a slightly
  5362. lengthier temporariness.
  5363.  
  5364. 1132
  5365. 01:03:55,467 --> 01:03:56,632
  5366. What's the point?
  5367.  
  5368. 1133
  5369. 01:03:56,634 --> 01:03:58,598
  5370. I just told you
  5371. what the point was.
  5372.  
  5373. 1134
  5374. 01:03:58,600 --> 01:04:01,698
  5375. But when it's over, you're
  5376. right back at square zero.
  5377.  
  5378. 1135
  5379. 01:04:01,700 --> 01:04:03,732
  5380. I will not
  5381. keep my mind open.
  5382.  
  5383. 1136
  5384. 01:04:03,734 --> 01:04:05,698
  5385. Well, then
  5386. just keep it open
  5387.  
  5388. 1137
  5389. 01:04:05,700 --> 01:04:08,065
  5390. to the possibility
  5391. of keeping it open.
  5392.  
  5393. 1138
  5394. 01:04:08,067 --> 01:04:09,067
  5395. No.
  5396.  
  5397. 1139
  5398. 01:04:10,533 --> 01:04:11,998
  5399. Really?
  5400.  
  5401. 1140
  5402. 01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:16,665
  5403. Oh, wow. That's... I...
  5404. I'm almost, I'm almost...
  5405.  
  5406. 1141
  5407. 01:04:16,667 --> 01:04:18,632
  5408. You know what,
  5409. if you can't or won't,
  5410.  
  5411. 1142
  5412. 01:04:18,634 --> 01:04:20,964
  5413. then you simply
  5414. can't or won't.
  5415.  
  5416. 1143
  5417. 01:04:20,966 --> 01:04:22,931
  5418. - That's my blanket.
  5419. - "That's my blanket."
  5420.  
  5421. 1144
  5422. 01:04:22,933 --> 01:04:24,798
  5423. You might want to shake out
  5424. the Pringle fragments.
  5425.  
  5426. 1145
  5427. 01:04:24,800 --> 01:04:26,498
  5428. "You might want to shake out
  5429. the Pringle fragments."
  5430.  
  5431. 1146
  5432. 01:04:26,500 --> 01:04:27,698
  5433. If you want to leave,
  5434. just say so.
  5435.  
  5436. 1147
  5437. 01:04:27,700 --> 01:04:29,798
  5438. - I very much want to leave.
  5439. - Say it again.
  5440.  
  5441. 1148
  5442. 01:04:29,800 --> 01:04:31,732
  5443. You debate like a child.
  5444.  
  5445. 1149
  5446. 01:04:31,734 --> 01:04:33,732
  5447. You eat like a raccoon.
  5448.  
  5449. 1150
  5450. 01:04:33,734 --> 01:04:35,134
  5451. You're fucking up.
  5452.  
  5453. 1151
  5454. 01:04:40,067 --> 01:04:41,831
  5455. How about
  5456. if I keep my mind open
  5457.  
  5458. 1152
  5459. 01:04:41,833 --> 01:04:43,864
  5460. to the possibility
  5461. of keeping my mind open
  5462.  
  5463. 1153
  5464. 01:04:43,866 --> 01:04:46,567
  5465. to the possibility
  5466. of keeping my mind open?
  5467.  
  5468. 1154
  5469. 01:04:47,833 --> 01:04:51,065
  5470. That is just one metalevel
  5471. too removed.
  5472.  
  5473. 1155
  5474. 01:04:51,067 --> 01:04:52,999
  5475. Come on.
  5476.  
  5477. 1156
  5478. 01:04:53,001 --> 01:04:54,467
  5479. Get back into bed.
  5480.  
  5481. 1157
  5482. 01:04:55,966 --> 01:04:58,500
  5483. Let's find out who the
  5484. nephrologist is sleeping with.
  5485.  
  5486. 1158
  5487. 01:05:00,001 --> 01:05:01,931
  5488. Fine.
  5489.  
  5490. 1159
  5491. 01:05:01,933 --> 01:05:04,465
  5492. But only until
  5493. the next commercial break.
  5494.  
  5495. 1160
  5496. 01:05:04,467 --> 01:05:06,999
  5497. And with no sexual reprise.
  5498.  
  5499. 1161
  5500. 01:05:07,001 --> 01:05:11,999
  5501. And only because I <i>do</i> want to know who
  5502. the nephrologist is sleeping with.
  5503.  
  5504. 1162
  5505. 01:05:12,001 --> 01:05:13,531
  5506. Okay.
  5507.  
  5508. 1163
  5509. 01:05:16,900 --> 01:05:21,099
  5510. <i>When I look at
  5511. you, I don't see smallpox.</i>
  5512.  
  5513. 1164
  5514. 01:05:21,101 --> 01:05:22,498
  5515. And it's "re-prize."
  5516.  
  5517. 1165
  5518. 01:05:22,500 --> 01:05:23,665
  5519. It's "re-preeze."
  5520.  
  5521. 1166
  5522. 01:05:23,667 --> 01:05:26,467
  5523. - "Re-prize."
  5524. - It's... "re-preeze."
  5525.  
  5526. 1167
  5527. 01:06:56,234 --> 01:06:58,032
  5528. Jesus,
  5529. is it Kristallnacht?
  5530.  
  5531. 1168
  5532. 01:06:58,034 --> 01:06:59,598
  5533. Oh, it's housekeeping.
  5534.  
  5535. 1169
  5536. 01:06:59,600 --> 01:07:01,598
  5537. They're not going to
  5538. get that reference.
  5539.  
  5540. 1170
  5541. 01:07:02,733 --> 01:07:04,632
  5542. <i>Mas retardos!</i>
  5543.  
  5544. 1171
  5545. 01:07:04,634 --> 01:07:08,666
  5546. Ah...
  5547.  
  5548. 1172
  5549. 01:07:09,901 --> 01:07:14,099
  5550. Oh... You shouldn't be in here.
  5551.  
  5552. 1173
  5553. 01:07:14,101 --> 01:07:15,731
  5554. This is my room.
  5555.  
  5556. 1174
  5557. 01:07:15,733 --> 01:07:17,165
  5558. Then I shouldn't be
  5559. in here.
  5560.  
  5561. 1175
  5562. 01:07:17,167 --> 01:07:19,797
  5563. Okay.
  5564.  
  5565. 1176
  5566. 01:07:19,799 --> 01:07:21,865
  5567. How did I wind up
  5568. in this position?
  5569.  
  5570. 1177
  5571. 01:07:21,867 --> 01:07:23,664
  5572. You made some
  5573. poor life choices.
  5574.  
  5575. 1178
  5576. 01:07:23,666 --> 01:07:26,465
  5577. No, in this position.
  5578. I'm half off the bed.
  5579.  
  5580. 1179
  5581. 01:07:26,467 --> 01:07:28,865
  5582. Why is my nose bleeding?
  5583.  
  5584. 1180
  5585. 01:07:28,867 --> 01:07:31,697
  5586. I think I have a spinal injury.
  5587.  
  5588. 1181
  5589. 01:07:31,699 --> 01:07:33,598
  5590. You feel pregnant?
  5591.  
  5592. 1182
  5593. 01:07:33,600 --> 01:07:34,865
  5594. I wouldn't know.
  5595.  
  5596. 1183
  5597. 01:07:34,867 --> 01:07:36,598
  5598. What's your gut say?
  5599.  
  5600. 1184
  5601. 01:07:36,600 --> 01:07:38,032
  5602. What it always says.
  5603.  
  5604. 1185
  5605. 01:07:38,034 --> 01:07:39,965
  5606. "Don't listen to me."
  5607.  
  5608. 1186
  5609. 01:07:39,967 --> 01:07:41,999
  5610. But if you did listen?
  5611.  
  5612. 1187
  5613. 01:07:42,001 --> 01:07:44,598
  5614. I don't feel any different,
  5615. if that's what you mean.
  5616.  
  5617. 1188
  5618. 01:07:44,600 --> 01:07:47,465
  5619. - Good.
  5620. - How is that good?
  5621.  
  5622. 1189
  5623. 01:07:47,467 --> 01:07:51,165
  5624. Why would you want me to perpetuate
  5625. my general circumstances?
  5626.  
  5627. 1190
  5628. 01:07:51,167 --> 01:07:53,199
  5629. You can do anything you want
  5630. with your circumstances.
  5631.  
  5632. 1191
  5633. 01:07:53,201 --> 01:07:55,032
  5634. I was thinking
  5635. of my circumstances.
  5636.  
  5637. 1192
  5638. 01:07:55,034 --> 01:07:56,932
  5639. Which are so wonderful.
  5640.  
  5641. 1193
  5642. 01:07:56,934 --> 01:07:58,697
  5643. We shouldn't have spent
  5644. the night together.
  5645.  
  5646. 1194
  5647. 01:07:58,699 --> 01:07:59,999
  5648. You wouldn't let me leave.
  5649.  
  5650. 1195
  5651. 01:08:00,001 --> 01:08:01,999
  5652. I didn't want it to end
  5653. on a bad note.
  5654.  
  5655. 1196
  5656. 01:08:02,001 --> 01:08:03,232
  5657. Also,
  5658. you're in the next room.
  5659.  
  5660. 1197
  5661. 01:08:03,234 --> 01:08:05,132
  5662. It would have been
  5663. spectacularly awkward.
  5664.  
  5665. 1198
  5666. 01:08:05,134 --> 01:08:06,600
  5667. As opposed to this.
  5668.  
  5669. 1199
  5670. 01:08:07,867 --> 01:08:11,132
  5671. We tried, okay?
  5672. We did.
  5673.  
  5674. 1200
  5675. 01:08:11,134 --> 01:08:14,697
  5676. But at some point there's just not
  5677. enough optimism left inside a person
  5678.  
  5679. 1201
  5680. 01:08:14,699 --> 01:08:17,565
  5681. to sustain something
  5682. like this, you know?
  5683.  
  5684. 1202
  5685. 01:08:17,567 --> 01:08:20,032
  5686. You broken preacher,
  5687. me broken choir.
  5688.  
  5689. 1203
  5690. 01:08:20,034 --> 01:08:22,697
  5691. I think it's important we recognize
  5692. that and verbalize it openly,
  5693.  
  5694. 1204
  5695. 01:08:22,699 --> 01:08:24,731
  5696. so as to avoid
  5697. any discomfort.
  5698.  
  5699. 1205
  5700. 01:08:24,733 --> 01:08:27,565
  5701. Oh. Mission accomplished.
  5702.  
  5703. 1206
  5704. 01:08:27,567 --> 01:08:28,834
  5705. Good.
  5706.  
  5707. 1207
  5708. 01:08:33,967 --> 01:08:36,498
  5709. Do you have everything?
  5710.  
  5711. 1208
  5712. 01:08:36,500 --> 01:08:39,132
  5713. Oh, um... Yeah.
  5714.  
  5715. 1209
  5716. 01:08:39,134 --> 01:08:42,099
  5717. I think, uh, my...
  5718.  
  5719. 1210
  5720. 01:08:42,101 --> 01:08:44,731
  5721. Can we still hang together
  5722. at the farewell brunch?
  5723.  
  5724. 1211
  5725. 01:08:44,733 --> 01:08:46,531
  5726. Uh, who else
  5727. am I gonna hang with?
  5728.  
  5729. 1212
  5730. 01:08:46,533 --> 01:08:48,664
  5731. Although I suppose
  5732. I could hang with myself.
  5733.  
  5734. 1213
  5735. 01:08:48,666 --> 01:08:53,065
  5736. Well, I'm going to shove some tissues
  5737. up my nostrils and take a shower.
  5738.  
  5739. 1214
  5740. 01:08:53,067 --> 01:08:55,101
  5741. Sounds like
  5742. good-bye to me.
  5743.  
  5744. 1215
  5745. 01:09:11,201 --> 01:09:14,099
  5746. Well, what do you think, about
  5747. time we head to the airport?
  5748.  
  5749. 1216
  5750. 01:09:14,101 --> 01:09:15,564
  5751. It's really close.
  5752.  
  5753. 1217
  5754. 01:09:15,566 --> 01:09:16,932
  5755. Fifteen minutes.
  5756.  
  5757. 1218
  5758. 01:09:16,934 --> 01:09:19,899
  5759. - Well, our flight's not for...
  5760. - Five hours.
  5761.  
  5762. 1219
  5763. 01:09:19,901 --> 01:09:22,099
  5764. - There could be traffic.
  5765. - Why take chances?
  5766.  
  5767. 1220
  5768. 01:09:22,101 --> 01:09:23,934
  5769. Then we should just
  5770. say our good-byes.
  5771.  
  5772. 1221
  5773. 01:09:25,734 --> 01:09:26,867
  5774. Good-bye.
  5775.  
  5776. 1222
  5777. 01:09:30,901 --> 01:09:32,564
  5778. Want your farewell gift?
  5779.  
  5780. 1223
  5781. 01:09:32,566 --> 01:09:35,167
  5782. The farewell is my gift,
  5783. but please, take mine.
  5784.  
  5785. 1224
  5786. 01:09:52,134 --> 01:09:54,664
  5787. Who was San Luis Obispo,
  5788. anyway?
  5789.  
  5790. 1225
  5791. 01:09:54,666 --> 01:09:57,065
  5792. And what the fuck did he do
  5793. to become a saint?
  5794.  
  5795. 1226
  5796. 01:09:57,067 --> 01:09:59,865
  5797. Thirteenth Century Bishop
  5798. of Toulouse.
  5799.  
  5800. 1227
  5801. 01:09:59,867 --> 01:10:03,597
  5802. Served the poor, left the
  5803. Church, and died of typhus.
  5804.  
  5805. 1228
  5806. 01:10:03,599 --> 01:10:05,199
  5807. That's all it takes?
  5808.  
  5809. 1229
  5810. 01:10:05,201 --> 01:10:06,832
  5811. It was in
  5812. the welcome basket.
  5813.  
  5814. 1230
  5815. 01:10:06,834 --> 01:10:09,564
  5816. Why would you canonize a guy
  5817. who left the Church?
  5818.  
  5819. 1231
  5820. 01:10:09,566 --> 01:10:12,798
  5821. Why look to France when you're
  5822. naming a city in California?
  5823.  
  5824. 1232
  5825. 01:10:12,800 --> 01:10:14,965
  5826. And what the fuck happened
  5827. with the urban planning here?
  5828.  
  5829. 1233
  5830. 01:10:14,967 --> 01:10:17,798
  5831. - At some point, did they just give up?
  5832. - Right.
  5833.  
  5834. 1234
  5835. 01:10:17,800 --> 01:10:20,631
  5836. On the off, off chance
  5837. that I ever have a wedding,
  5838.  
  5839. 1235
  5840. 01:10:20,633 --> 01:10:24,065
  5841. I would never make
  5842. anyone travel to it.
  5843.  
  5844. 1236
  5845. 01:10:24,067 --> 01:10:26,134
  5846. I don't think you'll have
  5847. to worry about that.
  5848.  
  5849. 1237
  5850. 01:10:32,633 --> 01:10:34,134
  5851. Because you're
  5852. a decent person.
  5853.  
  5854. 1238
  5855. 01:10:36,001 --> 01:10:38,132
  5856. Not because
  5857. you won't get married.
  5858.  
  5859. 1239
  5860. 01:10:38,134 --> 01:10:39,499
  5861. Oh, come on.
  5862.  
  5863. 1240
  5864. 01:10:52,599 --> 01:10:54,599
  5865. Why do we live, Frank?
  5866.  
  5867. 1241
  5868. 01:10:55,234 --> 01:10:57,464
  5869. Oh, Jesus Christ.
  5870.  
  5871. 1242
  5872. 01:10:57,466 --> 01:10:59,698
  5873. I'm serious.
  5874.  
  5875. 1243
  5876. 01:10:59,700 --> 01:11:02,564
  5877. The work we do isn't
  5878. meaningful in any great sense.
  5879.  
  5880. 1244
  5881. 01:11:02,566 --> 01:11:05,530
  5882. The connections we make
  5883. invariably fall to ruin.
  5884.  
  5885. 1245
  5886. 01:11:05,532 --> 01:11:08,165
  5887. Everything we build
  5888. burns to the ground.
  5889.  
  5890. 1246
  5891. 01:11:08,167 --> 01:11:11,698
  5892. Meaning is a myth, like you've
  5893. said, so why do we live?
  5894.  
  5895. 1247
  5896. 01:11:11,700 --> 01:11:14,632
  5897. I was so enjoying
  5898. the silence.
  5899.  
  5900. 1248
  5901. 01:11:14,634 --> 01:11:18,999
  5902. It has to be that the myth
  5903. isn't a myth for everyone.
  5904.  
  5905. 1249
  5906. 01:11:19,001 --> 01:11:22,065
  5907. Well, it's certainly a myth
  5908. for those two. Look at them.
  5909.  
  5910. 1250
  5911. 01:11:22,067 --> 01:11:24,899
  5912. They'd rather burst into flames
  5913. than to fuck each other.
  5914.  
  5915. 1251
  5916. 01:11:24,901 --> 01:11:27,865
  5917. - You don't know that.
  5918. - Oh, yes, I do.
  5919.  
  5920. 1252
  5921. 01:11:27,867 --> 01:11:33,564
  5922. It's possible that within the
  5923. myth, there's a sliver of truth,
  5924.  
  5925. 1253
  5926. 01:11:33,566 --> 01:11:36,232
  5927. and you have to believe
  5928. in that sliver wholeheartedly,
  5929.  
  5930. 1254
  5931. 01:11:36,234 --> 01:11:39,564
  5932. come what may,
  5933. despite the rational mind,
  5934.  
  5935. 1255
  5936. 01:11:39,566 --> 01:11:43,099
  5937. because if you...
  5938. if you don't,
  5939.  
  5940. 1256
  5941. 01:11:43,101 --> 01:11:45,899
  5942. the myth just reveals
  5943. itself to be a myth,
  5944.  
  5945. 1257
  5946. 01:11:45,901 --> 01:11:49,632
  5947. and meaninglessness becomes
  5948. a self-fulfilling prophecy.
  5949.  
  5950. 1258
  5951. 01:11:49,634 --> 01:11:54,698
  5952. Try as I might, I cannot get
  5953. behind wine in screw-top bottles.
  5954.  
  5955. 1259
  5956. 01:11:54,700 --> 01:11:58,530
  5957. Also, you have to encourage
  5958. others to believe in the myth.
  5959.  
  5960. 1260
  5961. 01:11:58,532 --> 01:12:00,732
  5962. Because if they believe,
  5963. they can do anything.
  5964.  
  5965. 1261
  5966. 01:12:00,734 --> 01:12:03,832
  5967. They can laugh,
  5968. cry, hope,
  5969.  
  5970. 1262
  5971. 01:12:03,834 --> 01:12:06,032
  5972. vote, get married.
  5973.  
  5974. 1263
  5975. 01:12:06,034 --> 01:12:08,999
  5976. But if they don't, they can't
  5977. do anything, I mean not really,
  5978.  
  5979. 1264
  5980. 01:12:09,001 --> 01:12:13,632
  5981. except make themselves as shallowly
  5982. happy and comfortable as possible.
  5983.  
  5984. 1265
  5985. 01:12:13,634 --> 01:12:16,865
  5986. Which is just vanity,
  5987. let's face it.
  5988.  
  5989. 1266
  5990. 01:12:16,867 --> 01:12:19,865
  5991. For me,
  5992. wine in a screw-top
  5993.  
  5994. 1267
  5995. 01:12:19,867 --> 01:12:22,767
  5996. will always carry the
  5997. stench of chintziness.
  5998.  
  5999. 1268
  6000. 01:12:24,767 --> 01:12:28,099
  6001. What if we're
  6002. falling in love?
  6003.  
  6004. 1269
  6005. 01:12:28,101 --> 01:12:30,932
  6006. Don't get me wrong,
  6007. I'm not a big fan of cork.
  6008.  
  6009. 1270
  6010. 01:12:30,934 --> 01:12:33,232
  6011. You ever see it on a wall or
  6012. in the heels of an espadrille?
  6013.  
  6014. 1271
  6015. 01:12:33,234 --> 01:12:34,732
  6016. Ridiculous.
  6017.  
  6018. 1272
  6019. 01:12:34,734 --> 01:12:38,765
  6020. But for wine, it conveys
  6021. a certain necessary élan.
  6022.  
  6023. 1273
  6024. 01:12:38,767 --> 01:12:40,865
  6025. What if love
  6026. comes for everyone?
  6027.  
  6028. 1274
  6029. 01:12:40,867 --> 01:12:42,932
  6030. Don't be absurd.
  6031.  
  6032. 1275
  6033. 01:12:42,934 --> 01:12:46,531
  6034. What if no one is immune,
  6035. not even us?
  6036.  
  6037. 1276
  6038. 01:12:46,533 --> 01:12:47,600
  6039. Stop it.
  6040.  
  6041. 1277
  6042. 01:12:49,834 --> 01:12:52,765
  6043. It would be remiss
  6044. not to embrace the miracle.
  6045.  
  6046. 1278
  6047. 01:12:52,767 --> 01:12:55,032
  6048. What happened between us
  6049. was not a miracle.
  6050.  
  6051. 1279
  6052. 01:12:55,034 --> 01:12:57,065
  6053. It was actually much closer
  6054. to a debacle.
  6055.  
  6056. 1280
  6057. 01:12:57,067 --> 01:12:59,132
  6058. - Maybe that's what you meant.
  6059. - Oh, come on.
  6060.  
  6061. 1281
  6062. 01:12:59,134 --> 01:13:00,865
  6063. You don't find it miraculous
  6064.  
  6065. 1282
  6066. 01:13:00,867 --> 01:13:03,765
  6067. that two people like us
  6068. forged any kind of bond?
  6069.  
  6070. 1283
  6071. 01:13:03,767 --> 01:13:06,565
  6072. I find it "debaculous."
  6073.  
  6074. 1284
  6075. 01:13:06,567 --> 01:13:08,232
  6076. It was a miracle.
  6077.  
  6078. 1285
  6079. 01:13:08,234 --> 01:13:10,999
  6080. It required forever
  6081. being seated together.
  6082.  
  6083. 1286
  6084. 01:13:11,001 --> 01:13:14,565
  6085. It required an adjoining door
  6086. and a near-death experience.
  6087.  
  6088. 1287
  6089. 01:13:14,567 --> 01:13:16,199
  6090. What are you waiting for,
  6091. a burning bush?
  6092.  
  6093. 1288
  6094. 01:13:16,201 --> 01:13:18,932
  6095. I can't believe you're
  6096. bringing this up again.
  6097.  
  6098. 1289
  6099. 01:13:18,934 --> 01:13:20,698
  6100. I thought we had
  6101. an understanding.
  6102.  
  6103. 1290
  6104. 01:13:20,700 --> 01:13:22,999
  6105. We had come
  6106. to an agreement.
  6107.  
  6108. 1291
  6109. 01:13:23,001 --> 01:13:25,732
  6110. We're less than an hour away
  6111. from parting as friends.
  6112.  
  6113. 1292
  6114. 01:13:25,734 --> 01:13:27,498
  6115. Okay, but deep down,
  6116.  
  6117. 1293
  6118. 01:13:27,500 --> 01:13:30,464
  6119. in your broken,
  6120. miserable gut,
  6121.  
  6122. 1294
  6123. 01:13:30,466 --> 01:13:33,665
  6124. don't you want something
  6125. that's pure
  6126.  
  6127. 1295
  6128. 01:13:33,667 --> 01:13:36,132
  6129. and in its own grotesque
  6130. way, beautiful?
  6131.  
  6132. 1296
  6133. 01:13:36,134 --> 01:13:38,099
  6134. No.
  6135.  
  6136. 1297
  6137. 01:13:38,101 --> 01:13:41,832
  6138. Don't you want to secretly
  6139. have a romantic life
  6140.  
  6141. 1298
  6142. 01:13:41,834 --> 01:13:45,065
  6143. that confirms your hopes
  6144. instead of your cynicism?
  6145.  
  6146. 1299
  6147. 01:13:45,067 --> 01:13:46,598
  6148. No.
  6149.  
  6150. 1300
  6151. 01:13:46,600 --> 01:13:48,598
  6152. Don't you want to believe
  6153. that things like this
  6154.  
  6155. 1301
  6156. 01:13:48,600 --> 01:13:49,965
  6157. actually do happen?
  6158.  
  6159. 1302
  6160. 01:13:49,967 --> 01:13:51,932
  6161. Nope. I'm fond
  6162. of my cynicism.
  6163.  
  6164. 1303
  6165. 01:13:51,934 --> 01:13:54,132
  6166. It's very comfortable.
  6167.  
  6168. 1304
  6169. 01:13:54,134 --> 01:13:56,665
  6170. - Like a warm blanket of your own shit.
  6171. - Yes. Yes.
  6172.  
  6173. 1305
  6174. 01:13:56,667 --> 01:13:58,632
  6175. I'm very comfortable
  6176. and warm
  6177.  
  6178. 1306
  6179. 01:13:58,634 --> 01:14:01,134
  6180. in my fucking warm blanket
  6181. of fucking shit.
  6182.  
  6183. 1307
  6184. 01:14:05,067 --> 01:14:07,565
  6185. But what if
  6186. we're falling in love?
  6187.  
  6188. 1308
  6189. 01:14:07,567 --> 01:14:08,832
  6190. Dear God...
  6191.  
  6192. 1309
  6193. 01:14:08,834 --> 01:14:11,632
  6194. I mean, what if this
  6195. is what it's like?
  6196.  
  6197. 1310
  6198. 01:14:11,634 --> 01:14:13,465
  6199. It would end
  6200. in disaster.
  6201.  
  6202. 1311
  6203. 01:14:13,467 --> 01:14:14,832
  6204. - What if it didn't?
  6205. - It would.
  6206.  
  6207. 1312
  6208. 01:14:14,834 --> 01:14:16,634
  6209. - I know.
  6210. - Good.
  6211.  
  6212. 1313
  6213. 01:14:19,567 --> 01:14:21,765
  6214. - But...
  6215. - Stop.
  6216.  
  6217. 1314
  6218. 01:14:21,767 --> 01:14:23,134
  6219. - Ah...
  6220. - Stop.
  6221.  
  6222. 1315
  6223. 01:14:24,634 --> 01:14:27,632
  6224. But...
  6225.  
  6226. 1316
  6227. 01:14:34,834 --> 01:14:36,600
  6228. Oh!
  6229.  
  6230. 1317
  6231. 01:14:40,700 --> 01:14:42,665
  6232. This is not funny. Don't
  6233. laugh at me, please.
  6234.  
  6235. 1318
  6236. 01:14:42,667 --> 01:14:45,165
  6237. I'm laughing
  6238. out of affection.
  6239.  
  6240. 1319
  6241. 01:14:45,167 --> 01:14:47,132
  6242. No one laughs at another
  6243. person out of affection.
  6244.  
  6245. 1320
  6246. 01:14:47,134 --> 01:14:49,032
  6247. You laugh at another
  6248. person out of contempt.
  6249.  
  6250. 1321
  6251. 01:14:49,034 --> 01:14:51,132
  6252. No. I'm laughing
  6253. 'cause it's cute.
  6254.  
  6255. 1322
  6256. 01:14:51,134 --> 01:14:52,665
  6257. - It is?
  6258. - Yes.
  6259.  
  6260. 1323
  6261. 01:14:52,667 --> 01:14:54,465
  6262. But, fine,
  6263. I'll stop laughing.
  6264.  
  6265. 1324
  6266. 01:14:54,467 --> 01:14:55,467
  6267. Thank you.
  6268.  
  6269. 1325
  6270. 01:15:00,567 --> 01:15:02,099
  6271. - Frank?
  6272. - Yes?
  6273.  
  6274. 1326
  6275. 01:15:02,101 --> 01:15:05,198
  6276. Don't you, like,
  6277. have an instinct about me?
  6278.  
  6279. 1327
  6280. 01:15:05,200 --> 01:15:06,467
  6281. Nope.
  6282.  
  6283. 1328
  6284. 01:15:08,101 --> 01:15:10,798
  6285. I think you do.
  6286.  
  6287. 1329
  6288. 01:15:10,800 --> 01:15:13,598
  6289. You're the one who said
  6290. your gut can't be trusted.
  6291.  
  6292. 1330
  6293. 01:15:13,600 --> 01:15:14,965
  6294. That's true.
  6295.  
  6296. 1331
  6297. 01:15:14,967 --> 01:15:17,531
  6298. For a long time,
  6299. it's been a lying bitch.
  6300.  
  6301. 1332
  6302. 01:15:17,533 --> 01:15:19,698
  6303. But I would have been willing
  6304. to give it another shot.
  6305.  
  6306. 1333
  6307. 01:15:19,700 --> 01:15:21,698
  6308. Why? I mean, how much shit
  6309. has to fall on your head
  6310.  
  6311. 1334
  6312. 01:15:21,700 --> 01:15:23,531
  6313. before you start
  6314. wearing a hat?
  6315.  
  6316. 1335
  6317. 01:15:23,533 --> 01:15:26,732
  6318. You can't die from jumping
  6319. out of a basement window.
  6320.  
  6321. 1336
  6322. 01:15:26,734 --> 01:15:29,467
  6323. Of course you can. You can hit
  6324. your head on a pipe or something.
  6325.  
  6326. 1337
  6327. 01:15:32,834 --> 01:15:34,999
  6328. You're going to wish you
  6329. embraced the miracle, Frank.
  6330.  
  6331. 1338
  6332. 01:15:35,001 --> 01:15:36,600
  6333. You're gonna wish you had.
  6334.  
  6335. 1339
  6336. 01:16:15,734 --> 01:16:18,164
  6337. How are your pants,
  6338. John Wayne Bobbitt?
  6339.  
  6340. 1340
  6341. 01:16:18,166 --> 01:16:20,133
  6342. Sticky.
  6343.  
  6344. 1341
  6345. 01:16:27,500 --> 01:16:30,465
  6346. We shouldn't exchange
  6347. contact information.
  6348.  
  6349. 1342
  6350. 01:16:30,467 --> 01:16:32,032
  6351. There's no point.
  6352.  
  6353. 1343
  6354. 01:16:32,034 --> 01:16:33,600
  6355. I think
  6356. I just said that.
  6357.  
  6358. 1344
  6359. 01:16:35,133 --> 01:16:37,732
  6360. It was very nice
  6361. to meet you.
  6362.  
  6363. 1345
  6364. 01:16:37,734 --> 01:16:39,867
  6365. It was very nice
  6366. to meet you too.
  6367.  
  6368. 1346
  6369. 01:16:46,500 --> 01:16:48,164
  6370. I know what
  6371. you're going to say...
  6372.  
  6373. 1347
  6374. 01:16:48,166 --> 01:16:50,932
  6375. - "It's not you, it's me."
  6376. - No, it's you.
  6377.  
  6378. 1348
  6379. 01:16:50,934 --> 01:16:53,231
  6380. It's me.
  6381.  
  6382. 1349
  6383. 01:16:53,233 --> 01:16:54,698
  6384. Yeah.
  6385. I know.
  6386.  
  6387. 1350
  6388. 01:16:54,700 --> 01:16:56,965
  6389. - It's you.
  6390. - I... Yep.
  6391.  
  6392. 1351
  6393. 01:17:12,967 --> 01:17:14,467
  6394. I liked the bow
  6395. though.
  6396.  
  6397. 1352
  6398. 01:17:29,166 --> 01:17:32,198
  6399. Why didn't we meet
  6400. seven years ago, Frank?
  6401.  
  6402. 1353
  6403. 01:17:32,200 --> 01:17:33,767
  6404. Just lucky, I guess.
  6405.  
  6406. 1354
  6407. 01:17:38,066 --> 01:17:41,198
  6408. 14 Catalina Drive,
  6409. Newport Beach, please?
  6410.  
  6411. 1355
  6412. 01:17:41,200 --> 01:17:43,798
  6413. What are you doing?
  6414. Don't give your exact address.
  6415.  
  6416. 1356
  6417. 01:17:43,800 --> 01:17:45,166
  6418. You don't know
  6419. who the driver is.
  6420.  
  6421. 1357
  6422. 01:17:46,734 --> 01:17:48,798
  6423. Thank you for caring.
  6424.  
  6425. 1358
  6426. 01:17:48,800 --> 01:17:50,667
  6427. I don't. I would've
  6428. said the same to anyone.
  6429.  
  6430. 1359
  6431. 01:17:52,667 --> 01:17:54,665
  6432. We're holding up
  6433. the line, Frank.
  6434.  
  6435. 1360
  6436. 01:17:54,667 --> 01:17:56,467
  6437. There are other people
  6438. in the world.
  6439.  
  6440. 1361
  6441. 01:17:57,533 --> 01:17:58,867
  6442. There are?
  6443.  
  6444. 1362
  6445. 01:18:39,234 --> 01:18:41,033
  6446. Do you have a whistle?
  6447.  
  6448. 1363
  6449. 01:18:55,867 --> 01:18:57,632
  6450. <i>And then taxation.</i>
  6451.  
  6452. 1364
  6453. 01:18:57,634 --> 01:19:00,632
  6454. <i>We get shut down
  6455. every single time by your...</i>
  6456.  
  6457. 1365
  6458. 01:19:00,634 --> 01:19:02,798
  6459. <i>- Idea you have so far.
  6460. - No, no, no.</i>
  6461.  
  6462. 1366
  6463. 01:19:02,800 --> 01:19:04,165
  6464. <i>Can I speak?
  6465. Can I speak?</i>
  6466.  
  6467. 1367
  6468. 01:19:04,167 --> 01:19:05,199
  6469. <i>- Please.
  6470. - Because of your...</i>
  6471.  
  6472. 1368
  6473. 01:19:05,201 --> 01:19:06,299
  6474. <i>- Hold on. Hold on.
  6475. - That's what I...</i>
  6476.  
  6477. 1369
  6478. 01:19:06,301 --> 01:19:08,865
  6479. <i>- Just wait a second, all right?
  6480. - I'm working on it.</i>
  6481.  
  6482. 1370
  6483. 01:19:11,100 --> 01:19:13,765
  6484. <i>It's the guys who
  6485. stand by in all their philosophies</i>
  6486.  
  6487. 1371
  6488. 01:19:13,767 --> 01:19:16,531
  6489. <i>and all their ideas and
  6490. everything that they represent.</i>
  6491.  
  6492. 1372
  6493. 01:19:16,533 --> 01:19:18,132
  6494. <i>They're talking about
  6495. the silent majority.</i>
  6496.  
  6497. 1373
  6498. 01:19:18,134 --> 01:19:20,465
  6499. <i>I don't know.
  6500. I mean, listen,</i>
  6501.  
  6502. 1374
  6503. 01:19:20,467 --> 01:19:22,798
  6504. <i>- if you look at the facts again...
  6505. - Hold on.</i>
  6506.  
  6507. 1375
  6508. 01:19:22,800 --> 01:19:24,698
  6509. <i>They're having a sidebar here.
  6510. Hold on.</i>
  6511.  
  6512. 1376
  6513. 01:19:24,700 --> 01:19:27,098
  6514. <i>How can we even bring
  6515. that up at this point?</i>
  6516.  
  6517. 1377
  6518. 01:19:27,100 --> 01:19:28,765
  6519. <i>- But what fact?
  6520. - In the media.</i>
  6521.  
  6522. 1378
  6523. 01:19:28,767 --> 01:19:29,964
  6524. <i>You're not getting paid here.</i>
  6525.  
  6526. 1379
  6527. 01:19:29,966 --> 01:19:32,232
  6528. <i>You have got to look
  6529. at what your guy did too.</i>
  6530.  
  6531. 1380
  6532. 01:19:32,234 --> 01:19:33,798
  6533. <i>Oh, really?
  6534. There it is again.</i>
  6535.  
  6536. 1381
  6537. 01:19:33,800 --> 01:19:35,498
  6538. <i>There's the same thing
  6539. right there.</i>
  6540.  
  6541. 1382
  6542. 01:19:35,500 --> 01:19:37,865
  6543. <i>It's the same response
  6544. for the other side. Yeah.</i>
  6545.  
  6546. 1383
  6547. 01:19:37,867 --> 01:19:40,732
  6548. <i>Yeah, but never mind
  6549. because your guy was worse...</i>
  6550.  
  6551. 1384
  6552. 01:21:26,806 --> 01:21:31,801
  6553. Subtitles by explosiveskull
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