FM!Understuck Dave dinner script (Censored)

* You arrive at what appears to be a fancy diner. You spot Dave just outside.

TG: oh hey john
TG: hows it been
TG: wanna grab some grub

* You agree to Dave's food invitation.

TG: cool right this way

* You and Dave enter the building and get a table. Holy sh*t they have all you can eat complimentary breadsticks, nice.

TG: well
TG: here we are

TG: so
TG: looks like this journey of yours is almost over yeah
TG: im sure you wanna go home just like the rest of us
TG: we all know that feeling out here bro
TG: though
TG: maybe sometimes we gotta not take things for granted
TG: i mean we got food drink friends
TG: what more could a guy ask for

TG: makes you really wonder if what you gotta do is worth it in the end

TG: nah screw it

TG: hey lemme tell you a story
TG: so im helping jade out in lofaf right
TG: sitting out there in the snow lookin for frogs
TG: really boring if you ask me but seeing jades enthusiasm for it helps a little
TG: somehow deep in the woods theres this cave that has a giant f*cking meteor in it
TG: well i say giant but its not like its the size of texas or anything
TG: anyway that meteor has a locked door
TG: strange i know
TG: if i were a guy like you id sit out there and practice knock knock jokes or some sh*t
TG: anyway out of complete respect for the irony of the situation one of the times i go there i actually knock one out
TG: yunno knock on wood motherf*cker its me the coolest guy in lofaf

TG: that was just as terrible as it was that day

TG: anyway yeah i go "knock knock"
TG: and suddenly i hear a voice from the other side
TG: a womans
TG: "Who Is There" she says
TG: i go "watch"
TG: "Watch What" she says
TG: i go "no youre supposed to say "watch who" thats how knock knock jokes work
TG: she goes "Oh I See"
TG: "Watch Who"
TG: "damn didnt know it was as cold in there as it is out here
TG: you might want to get a tissue or something"

TG: gave her a solid minute before i explained the joke to her
TG: "see its funny because watch who kinda sounds like a sneeze"
TG: then a pause for dramatic effect
TG: and shes busting out with laughter like she hasnt heard a joke before in her life

TG: so i teach her more
TG: she keeps laughing
TG: but in the middle of my set she asks a question
TG: "I Have Thought Of A Joke But It Is Not Of The Knock Knock Variety
TG: Is That Alright"
TG: and as much as my instinct is telling me to jokingly say no i oblige
TG: so she starts it up
TG: "What Do You Call A Nurturing Moth"
TG: i tell her im stumped and she goes
TG: "Moth-erly"

TG: after a solid minute of silence i snicker
TG: she snorts
TG: we share in laughter from bad jokes
TG: needless to say shes catching on quick and i may be out of my stand up comedy job
TG: eventually i have to go
TG: jade gets hangry without dinner
TG: but she tells me to come back again
TG: and so i did
TG: then again and again id show up and we would tell dumb jokes to each other
TG: sometimes rose comes out there with me
TG: sometimes i catch her out there without me
TG: though from what i hear whenever shes out there alone the two are waxing philosophical through the door
TG: regardless its become a thing
TG: a nice thing
TG: telling sh*tty jokes through the door
TG: it rules
TG: beats standing around in the gogforsaken snow all day

TG: one day i noticed she was a lot quieter than usual
TG: against better judgement and having the lalondian dna in me activated i decide to play therapist and ask her whats wrong
TG: she asked me about the prophecy and what i think about it
TG: if i believe in it or not
TG: everyone knows about the story of the human that entered the incipisphere
TG: come to free its denizens from lord english

TG: only few know its real

TG: i ask her if shes seen any new humans show up
TG: she said she knew a few
TG: she asked if i was one
TG: i asked if she wasnt

TG: after a long silence i ask her something else
TG: i say "if another one shows up promise me something
TG: watch over him
TG: and make sure hes safe
TG: got it?
TG: no offense but i know how trolls can be violent sometimes"

TG: i hate asking others to make promises
TG: but something about the seers predictions said i had to make this one
TG: and i mean sh*t what a thing to ask right
TG: we dont even know each others names
TG: but i guess it makes things easier when shes been cracking up at my sh*tty puns all month

TG: you get what im saying?
TG: that promise i had her make
TG: do you understand what would have happened if i kept my mouth shut?
TG: brother...

TG:. . . You'd be dead where you stand.

TG: hey relax dude
TG: you know id never actually do anything to you
TG: nor would i let anything happen to you
TG: i got you bro
TG: and i mean havent we
TG: we being her and i
TG: done a good job at keeping you safe so far?
TG: i mean look at you
TG: havent died once
TG: well i mean considering youre not your dreamself i think

TG: the hells that look for
TG: am i wrong?

TG: well thats all i wanted to say
TG: take care of yourself bro
TG: cause some people really care about you

* You watch as Dave leaves, throwing a peace sign your way.