[Anon & Dazzlings] A Dazzling New Year

>Yawning and stretching, you relax into the soft leather cushion of the couch.
>The smell of pancakes and eggs lingers throughout the air, as does the sound of the channel 5 news anchorman talking animatedly about the things achieved this year.
>Sitting to your right, Adagio watches the screen with what you can only describe as a mix between pity, amusement, and disdain.
>Having just woken up, she still wears a loose fitting pink nightshirt, as well as a pair of shorts just barely fitting the criteria for being called ‘shorts’. Her bare legs fill your dick with pride.
>”... And finally, Elon Musk hopes to have men on Mars by 2025 using his new magnet-powered environmentally friendly ugly-chromatic thingamajigger. Truly, we are now nearing the age of space colonization.”
>Adagio lets out a groan.
>”Gods be cursed — the infestation is spreading…”
“Aw there there, ‘Dagi,”
>With mock sympathy, you pat her bare leg, earning a snarl and a slap to the wrist, making your grin widen.
“At least with the colonization, there will be less humans here.”
>”Tch.”
>From the kitchen, Aria’s rage-filled voice calls out, “SONATA IF YOU DON’T STOP EATING THE BATTER I SWEAR TO DAGON, I’LL COOK YOU INSTEAD.”
>”But I don’t taste good!”
>”WE’LL FEED YOU TO THE DOGS!”
>”We don’t have dogs… Ooo! Can we have a doggy? Please!?”
>You can’t help but smile at the squabbling of the two. It’s always endearing to listen to it.
>Adagio doesn’t seem to think so though.
>”Maybe we can sign those two up and send them too.”
“Sonata would probably cause the rocket to explode somehow. Unless Aria does it first.”
>"Yeah, probably."
>You both watch the tv.
>”... So as not only this year, but the decade itself comes to a close — let us never forget the wonders of human creativity, courage, strength, and ingenuity!”
>The only response Adagio has to hearing that is uproarious laughter.
>”HUMAN… INGENUITY!? AHAHAHA!”
>She doubles over, arms crossed and hands gripping her sides so tightly that the skin on her knuckles starts turning a lighter shade of yellow.
>Jesus Christ, poof.
>The scene on the television switches from that of the news anchorman to an image of the United States flag, and Silent Night starts playing, although it’s kind of hard for you to hear it from how loud Adagio is laughing.
>Christ has she ever laughed this hard?
>Adagio is now gasping for air, face flushed redder than the ass-end of a tomato.
>Silent Night starts to sound a little louder.
>”Hey Anon.”
>You look up and see Aria standing in the doorway holding a spatula, looking as gloomy and bored as she always does, apparently having calmed down from the mishap in the kitchen.
>”What’s with her?” She points at Adagio.
“Oh, she’s laughing because the news dude said something about the wonders of human creativity and intelligence and some such.”
>Aria looks down at the panting form of Adagio, and back up at you.
>The corners of her mouth twitch upwards.
>”That’s pretty funny.”
“Adagio laughing, or the human intelligence thing?”
>”All of it.”
>Finally regaining her composure, Adagio climbs back onto the couch and sinks back into her seat.
>”Ah… heh. ‘Human ingenuity.'”
>Aria snorts, while you roll your eyes.
>Classic misanthropic elder fish, folks.
“Well hey, not all humans are dumb.”
>Adagio and Aria exchange glances, then look at you with raised brows.
“... I mean I’m smart, right?”
>You knew better than to ask that.
>Laughter - laughter everywhere.
>Adagio slumps over, laughing with sheer joy, while Aria crumples to the floor trying in vain to control herself.
>Sonata scrambles past Aria and rushes up to you, looking flustered and scared.
>”Anon…”
>You can hardly hear her over the fucking laughter.
“Yeah?”
>Jesus Christ Aria, take a fucking breath.
>”Can you get the fire extinguisher? I can’t find it.”
>Your heart skips a beat.
“Why do you need the fire extinguisher?”
>Smoke drifts in past Aria, and the fire alarms on the ceiling start screaming.
>Adagio and Aria are too busy being overcome with pure glee to notice.
>”I tried to make the pancakes cook faster by turning the knob all the way.”
"Of course you did."
>The rest of your New Years is spent putting out a literal bonfire atop the stove, cleaning up the explosion of pancake batter in the kitchen, and explaining to Sonata that no — you don’t toast to the new year by eating toast.