Strange Waifus

>You are Anon.
>Your bed is EXTRA comfy today.
>You wonder why.
>You feel something soft and warm snuggle you.
>Do you have another night-time visitor?
>These fucking horses, man.
>They can't seem to comprehend that you sleep alone.
>Fucking herd mentality....
>"Time to wake up, Anon."
>Oh, who's this?
>Something soft and silky tickles your ear.
>You NOPE and open your eyes.
>....Nobody is there.
>NoPONY, rather.
>You hear a chuckle from down by your groin.
>"I'm down here, silly!"
>You do what the voice says and....
>Your blanket has a face on it.
>Like, not just sewn on or something, but an actual three-dimensional face.
>A pony face, specifically.
>One of the corners of your pony-blanket comes up and caresses your cheek.
>"Good morning, love."
>Why is this happening?
>Your blanket wasn't like this when you went to bed.
>You try to sit up, but only succeed in rolling off of your pillow.
>You're all wrapped up!
>>"Aww, why did you make him go?"
>A fluffy shuffling comes from behind you, and your goddamn PILLOW crawls onto your head and licks your ear.
>Fuck your life and everything about it.

>You are Anon and you're sitting on your couch eating breakfast.
>You've got blanketwaifu wrapped around your shoulders, and pillowaifu on your lap nuzzling your crotch.
"So, what's the deal with you two?"
>You'd remained quiet this entire time. This shit was too raw to deal with before coffee and cereal.
>Blanket: "What do you mean, dearest? There is no 'deal' with us. I keep you warm at night..."
>You watch as a corner of Blanketwaifu nudges Pillowaifu.
>Pillow: "...And I keep your head comfy and ready for good dreams."
>Aww.
>That's almost cute.
"No, look.... Why are you suddenly alive? God knows you weren't like this last night."
>Pillowaifu laughs at you.
>Pillow: "Honey, stop being so silly. Now, I know you're usually kind of tired in the mornings; why don't you lay your head on me and take a nap?"
>Blanketwaifu joins in on the teasing.
>Blanket: "Mmmm, let me wrap around you, Anon. I know just how to make you warm."
>L-lewd.
>After a few more minutes of increasingly dirty talk, you concede and have a hap on your couch.
>You wake up to Blanketwaifu grinding your crotch, and Pillowaifu sniffing your hair.
>These fucking waifus.

>You're eating breakfast when it happens.
>"Mmmph lmvvph ynrnn cckkckkk"
>You're sorry, what?
>That's when you feel something tickle your balls.
>Understandably surprised, you stand up and rip your pants off.
>Thankfully, your pants remain silent.
>You think you've reached waifu critical mass.
>Looking down (up?) at you is a ponyface on your boxers.
>She's got a sultry look in her eyes, and your cock is poking out of her mouth.
>.......Oh.
>Okay, that makes sense.
>Her mouth is exactly where that cock-slit on the front of your underwear is.
>Boxerwaifu is blushing something fierce as she tries to reverse-blowjob you.
>With a wet slurp, she sucks your dick back into the strangely warm and furry confines of your underwear.
>Boxer: "You don't wash me often enough."
>She licks her "lips".
>Boxer: "I love that."

>You walk back into your living room, ready to confront your pillow and your blanket.
>They're probably in on this bullshit right here.
>Even for horseland this shit is weird.
>Pillowaifu: "Are you okay, Anon? We heard some positively lewd noises. Why didn't you come for us?"
>Boxerwaifu: "He nearly did."
>Pillowaifu: "Boxers! Blanket, wake up! It's Boxers!"
>These assholes know each other?
>Blanketwaifu squeals with delight and waves you over with a corner of herself.
>Blanketwaifu: "Anon! Quick, sit on Pillow's face! Let's get a group hug!"
>You reluctantly obey your Blanketwaifu's orders and sit down on your couch on top of Pillowaifu.
>Blanketwaifu wraps around your groin, and you're left with a weird pillow-diaper that can talk.
>You can feel some grinding in your crotch, and you aren't sure who's doing what, or if it's on purpose.
>Probably is.
>Why do you have such strange waifus?