20:17	YoshiEgg	everybody
20:17	YoshiEgg	had better fucking aliven
20:17	YoshiEgg	this INSTANT
20:17	YoshiEgg	OR I WILL DRIVE A STEAK
20:18	YoshiEgg	THROUGH THEIR URETHRAS
20:18	YoshiEgg	ON FIRE
20:18	YoshiEgg	WITH FCUKIING RAT POISON
20:18	YoshiEgg	SMEARED ALL OVER THE THING
20:18	Hemu	ok
20:19	YoshiEgg	me and Emily are in serious fucking crisis
20:19	YoshiEgg	and I need advice right now
20:19	Hemu	ok
20:19	YoshiEgg	ok
20:19	YoshiEgg	so
20:19	Hemu	WHAT IS TEH CRISIS
20:19	KP_Shadow	What's wrong, exactly?
20:19	YoshiEgg	THE CRISIS IS
20:19	Hemu	oh my god meat cthulu
20:19	YoshiEgg	That since we're not going to the same schools
20:20	YoshiEgg	and her parents are very protective of her
20:20	YoshiEgg	and stuff
20:20	YoshiEgg	and things
20:20	KP_Shadow	They want you two to break up?
20:20	YoshiEgg	we had considered the prospect of
20:20	YoshiEgg	y'know
20:20	YoshiEgg	growing apart
20:20	YoshiEgg	BUT NEITHER OF US CLAIM TO WANT THAT
20:20	KP_Shadow	If that's the case, you should just grow a pair
20:21	YoshiEgg	What I want is for her to be happy
20:21	Hemu	i concur with this part of KP's joke
20:21	Hemu	then grow some balls and meet her on the weekends
20:21	YoshiEgg	THAT IS WHAT I AM TRYING TO DO
20:21	YoshiEgg	But she is being cynical
20:21	YoshiEgg	and saying that it isn't going to work
20:21	Hemu	what
20:21	KP_Shadow	...
20:21	YoshiEgg	which
20:21	YoshiEgg	in reality
20:21	YoshiEgg	is probably the case
20:21	KP_Shadow	I know what'll change her mind!
20:21		KP_Shadow throws a box of condoms at YE
20:21	YoshiEgg	BUT THERE ARE LOOPHOLES IN THIS CONTRACT
20:21	YoshiEgg	AND SINCE SHE
20:22		YoshiEgg swats away the condoms
20:22	YoshiEgg	*ahem*
20:22	YoshiEgg	AND SINCE SHE WANTS THIS TOO
20:22	YoshiEgg	OR CLAIMS TO
20:22	KP_Shadow	GO, FUCK HER LIKE YOU'VE NEVER FUCKED BEFORE!
20:22	YoshiEgg	I AM WILLING TO DO WHATEVER THE HELL IT TAKES TO MAKE THIS SHIT WORK
20:22	YoshiEgg	BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS
20:22	YoshiEgg	REALLY
20:22	Hemu	TELL HER IT SHALL WORK
20:22	Hemu	FOR SHE LIKES YOU
20:22	YoshiEgg	I HAVE BEEN
20:22	YoshiEgg	BUT SHE'S BEEN LIKE
20:22	Hemu	AND WHAT YOU WANT IS WHAT SHE WANTS AND STUFF
20:23	Hemu	BUT DON'T DO ANYTHING THE MOVIES GUY DO TO STOP THE GIRL FROM LEAVING
20:23	YoshiEgg	"GET OUT OF YOUR FAIRYTALE WORLD TUCKER, IT ISN'T GOING TO WORK. BOTH OF US KNOW THAT, EVEN IF WE BOTH WANT IT TO."
20:23	YoshiEgg	AND IT HAS BEEN TAKING AN INTENSE EMOTIONAL TOLL ON US
20:23	YoshiEgg	BUT
20:23	Hemu	TELL HER THE WORLD ISN'T A FAIRY TALE
20:23	KP_Shadow	...
20:23	Hemu	IT'S A FANTASY NOVEL
20:23	KP_Shadow	roofies
20:23	YoshiEgg	IF WE WENT WITH THE PROSPECT OF DUMBING IT DOWN A LITTLE BIT
20:23	Hemu	AND THEREFORE IT SHALL WORK
20:23	YoshiEgg	OR JUST FLAT-OUT BREAKING UP
20:24	YoshiEgg	IT WOULD PROBABLY HURT EVEN MORE
20:24	KP_Shadow	Nah, it's closer to a cosmic horror novella
20:24	YoshiEgg	RIGHT?!
20:24	Hemu	that's funny KP
20:24	KP_Shadow	...
20:24	Hemu	i'm watching Epic Meal Time
20:24	Hemu	they made
20:24	KP_Shadow	I was being serious
20:24	Hemu	Meat Cthulu
20:24	YoshiEgg	BUT WOULDN'T IT THOUGH?!
20:24	KP_Shadow	I actually read The Call of Cthulhu
20:24	Hemu	what
20:24	Hemu	but wouldn't whatr
20:24	Hemu	*what
20:24	KP_Shadow	It's more optimistic than anything I've been assigned to read for school.
20:25	YoshiEgg	BUT WOULDN'T IT HURT US BOTH MORE IF WE JUST FLAT OUT BROKE UP OR JUST STARTED GROWING APART?
20:25	Hemu	NO
20:25	Hemu	WAIT
20:25	YoshiEgg	WHICH NEITHER OF US CLAIM TO WANT
20:25	Hemu	GAH
20:25	Hemu	DAMMIT
20:25	Hemu	IT WOULD HURT YOU MORE
20:25	YoshiEgg	YES
20:25	YoshiEgg	IT PROBABLY WOULD
20:25	Hemu	NOW GROW SOME BALLS AND BE ASSERTIVE DAMMIT
20:25	KP_Shadow	...
20:25	YoshiEgg	BUT I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYMORE
20:25	Hemu	ASSERTIVE
20:25	YoshiEgg	AND I AM BEING ASSERTIVE
20:25	Hemu	ASSERTION
20:25	KP_Shadow	Grow a pair
20:25	KP_Shadow	And if that don't work, grow another pair
20:25	YoshiEgg	I'VE BEEN BEING ASSERTIVE THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE CONVERSATION
20:25	YoshiEgg	AND I'M TELLING HER THAT IT WILL WORK
20:26	YoshiEgg	BUT SHE DOES NOT BELIEVE ME
20:26	Hemu	NO YOUR JUST YELLING AT THIS POINT
20:26	YoshiEgg	AND I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE
20:26	YoshiEgg	BECAUSE I DON'T WANT IT TO END
20:26	Hemu	DO NOT WORRY YE IF YOUR TRUE LOVE SOMETHINGSOMETHINGSOMETHING
20:26	YoshiEgg	AND I DON'T /THINK/ SHE WANTS IT TO END EITHER
20:26	Hemu	OR MORE REALISTICALLY
20:26	Hemu	ALL COUPLES FIGHT
20:26	Hemu	NOW GET THROUGH IT MAN
20:26		Hemu slaps YE in the face
20:26	YoshiEgg	YEAH BUT THIS ISN'T A FIGHT REALLY
20:26	YoshiEgg	THIS IS
20:26	YoshiEgg	LIKE
20:26	Hemu	IF THAT WASN'T OVER TE INTERWEBZ IT WOULD BE MORE EFFECTIVE
20:26	YoshiEgg	HOLYFUCKINGSHITCRISISWHATTHEFUCK
20:27	YoshiEgg	LIKE THAT
20:27	Hemu	CALM DOWN FIRST AND BEAT SOMETHING UP
20:27	KP_Shadow	You know what'd change her mind?
20:27	YoshiEgg	gaaaahhhh I need to break something but there is nothing to breeeeeak
20:27	KP_Shadow	A good fuck.
20:27	Hemu	PREFERABLY A PILLOW
20:27	KP_Shadow	...
20:27	Hemu	OR A CAKE
20:27	Hemu	then deal with it
20:27	Hemu	cuz when you're
20:27		*** Remilia_Scarlet|AFK is now known as Remilia_Bloody_Scarlet
20:27	YoshiEgg	BUT IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE
20:27	Hemu	CHUIDGHRIUHGUIHUICHUHGUIHRUHVUIDHUGHIUHRUFHVIUDJJAOIJFIRJGHUTCRISIS
20:27	Hemu	you don't think
20:27	Hemu	straight
20:28	YoshiEgg	ONE CANNOT JUST DEAL WITH SHIT
20:28	KP_Shadow	...
20:28	Hemu	no
20:28	Hemu	i'm not saying you do that
20:28	YoshiEgg	like
20:28	Hemu	I'm saying you calm down
20:28	YoshiEgg	remember that thing Indi made?
20:28	Hemu	then formulate
20:28	Hemu	then deal with it
20:28	Hemu	using your plan
20:28	KP_Shadow	Yeah, maybe some foreplay, a bit of 69ing, hardcore fucking, then some post-coitus cuddling. That should solve any tension between you two.
20:29	YoshiEgg	Hemu: That's exactly what I've been doing for the past hour or two.
20:29	Hemu	...
20:29	Hemu	well your not very calm now are you
20:29	KP_Shadow	I'm pretty calm
20:29	Hemu	YOU CAN'T DO STEP 2 WITHOUT STEP 1
20:29	YoshiEgg	KP: It's not tension, it's just the fact that our relationship might not work.
20:29	YoshiEgg	BUT I'M CALM
20:29	Hemu	NOW BREAK SOMETHINGOROTHER
20:29	YoshiEgg	SORTA
20:29	KP_Shadow	...
20:29	Hemu	NO
20:29	Hemu	YOU'RE NOT
20:29	Hemu	YOU ARE IN
20:29	YoshiEgg	BUT I AM TRYING
20:30	Hemu	CTHULUCOSMICHORRORNOVELBREAKINGTHINGSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHCRISISMODE
20:30	Hemu	mode
20:30	YoshiEgg	WELL DO YOU THINK I CAN HELP THAT?!
20:30	Hemu	NO
20:30	Hemu	BREAK SOMETHINGOROTHER
20:30	YoshiEgg	SEE?
20:30	Hemu	TALK TO YOUR PARENTAL UNITS
20:30	KP_Shadow	YE, I plan on moving out west to go to college. It's next to impossible for any relationship that I'm in to last very long after high school.
20:30	YoshiEgg	I HAVE BEEN TALKING TO MY PARENTAL UNITS
20:31	YoshiEgg	AND THEY ARE AGREEING WITH ME SOMEWHAT
20:31	Hemu	ASK THEM FOR SOMETHING YOU CAN BREAK
20:31	Hemu	BE LIKE
20:31	YoshiEgg	THEY WERE LIKE "NO DON'T BREAK SHIT"
20:31	Hemu	CAN I GO FIND MY OLD TOYS
20:31	KP_Shadow	And dude, you're in High School (or Middle School), relationships never last a couple of weeks.
20:31	YoshiEgg	AND I WAS LIKE "BUT I MUST, ASSHOLES"
20:31	Hemu	AND BREAK THEM
20:31	Hemu	AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
20:31	KP_Shadow	*more than a couple of weeks
20:31	YoshiEgg	KP: We're different. We've lasted for nine months. Exactly.
20:31	Hemu	well at this point I ran out of ideas
20:31	YoshiEgg	exactly Hemu
20:32	YoshiEgg	look
20:32	YoshiEgg	I want this to work
20:32	YoshiEgg	but
20:32	YoshiEgg	at the same time
20:32	YoshiEgg	I want what's best for her
20:32	YoshiEgg	and what will make her happy
20:32	YoshiEgg	and I thought that breaking up would, in the longrun, make her happy
20:32	Hemu	your life is like a sitcom now