Hab and Mark: Fighty Friends

Wrong_Way is sitting at Hab's desk with his turtle crawling on Hab's keyboard
<Wrong_Way>: "So...Tell me about your mother."
HabeusKaiju walks to his office door, fiddling with the keys
<HabeusKaiju>: ...
<HabeusKaiju>: IS SOMEONE IN THERE?
Wrong_Way is staring at his turtle
HabeusKaiju bangs on the door
Wrong_Way picks up Theo Junior and hides underneath Hab's desk
<HabeusKaiju>: I GOT A SWORD! COME OUT PEACEFULLY, AND IT WILL BE SMOOTH!
Wrong_Way sits in a fetal position under the desk, as his turtle attempts to eat something off the floor
<Wrong_Way>: "SHHH THEO JUNIOR"
HabeusKaiju continues banging on the door
<HabeusKaiju>: YOU GOT TO THE COUNT OF THREE!
<HabeusKaiju>: 1!
Wrong_Way 's turtle has not said anything since he's eating a candy wrapper
<HabeusKaiju>: 2!
<HabeusKaiju>: 3!
Wrong_Way stands up quickly and hits his head
<Wrong_Way>: "OWWW!"
<HabeusKaiju>: THAT'S IT! I'M COMING IT!
HabeusKaiju bust down the door, and swings his sword around like a maniac
Wrong_Way covers his head and curls off the floor in pain
<Wrong_Way>: "AHHH! IT'S ME! MARK!"
<HabeusKaiju>: ....
<HabeusKaiju>: Mark, what are you doing in my office?
<Wrong_Way>: "...I was playing analyst therapist."
<HabeusKaiju>: Analrapist]
<HabeusKaiju>: With who?
<Wrong_Way>: [THAT IS THE JOKE]
Wrong_Way looks to Theo Junior, who really likes shiny paper by the way he's chewing that candy wrapper.
<Wrong_Way>: "...with Theo Junior."
Wrong_Way gets up to tug the candy wrapper out of Theo's mouth.
<HabeusKaiju>: Oh
<HabeusKaiju>: Mark
<HabeusKaiju>: Turtles don't talk
<Wrong_Way>: "Maybe to you!"
Wrong_Way gets half of the wrapper out of Junior's mouth and puts it in the trash
Wrong_Way rubs his head where he hit it
<Wrong_Way>: "Whatever...when the hell did you get so anxious about people breaking into your office?"
<HabeusKaiju>: Well, for one
<HabeusKaiju>: it's 6:30 in the morning
<HabeusKaiju>: you should be in bed
<Wrong_Way>: "...I couldn't sleep."
<Wrong_Way>: "I may or may not be working in the U.K timezone."
<HabeusKaiju>: how does that even work?
<Wrong_Way>: "Well...I got a pen pal."
<Wrong_Way>: "...That I teleport to visit."
<HabeusKaiju>: Oh, who?
HabeusKaiju turns off his sword
<Wrong_Way>: "Some chick I used to go to school with. Her parents moved to the U.K for some reason. So I occansionally chat with her online and we meet up in person."
<HabeusKaiju>: sounds like fun!
<Wrong_Way>: "...The problem is that she think I also live in the U.K too, so I've been trying to keep that up."
<HabeusKaiju>: She doesn't know bout the whole, mutant thing?
<Wrong_Way>: "Nah. I have no idea what she thinks about mutant stuff. What's their policy in the U.K anyways?"
<HabeusKaiju>: Hmmmm
HabeusKaiju uses law intuition to figure it out
<Wrong_Way>: [aka ask buck]
<HabeusKaiju>: Hmmm, that's a story for another time, okay?
<Wrong_Way>: "Okay. I guess I'll keep lying."
<HabeusKaiju>: Eurgh, I gueeeeeeess?
Wrong_Way shrugs
<Wrong_Way>: "So, what are you doing here at...6:30 in the morning?"
<HabeusKaiju>: I always come here at 6:30
<HabeusKaiju>: Beat the traffic, and the mocking
<HabeusKaiju>: Seems no one likes seeing one of my kid out on the street
<HabeusKaiju>: You know....
HabeusKaiju leans in, and whispers to Mark's ear
<HabeusKaiju>: lawyers
<Wrong_Way>: "What?"
HabeusKaiju laughs, and slaps Wrong_Way on the back
<HabeusKaiju>: It's a joke!
Wrong_Way is still a bit disoriented from that head bump and nearly stumbled from that slap
Wrong_Way is also holding his turtle, so slaps on the back aren't helpful
<Wrong_Way>: "Y-yeah."
<HabeusKaiju>: anyways, why don't you scamper off back to bed, okay?
<HabeusKaiju>: You still ain;t having the nightmares, are ya?
<Wrong_Way>: "But it's like noon in britian...."
<Wrong_Way>: "And yeah, Vacuna is now three Vacunas and some of them shoot acid out of their eyes."
<Wrong_Way>: "Plus it's at prom now..."
Wrong_Way rubs his eyes
<HabeusKaiju>: Huh
<HabeusKaiju>: weird
<HabeusKaiju>: Anything I can do to help?
<Wrong_Way>: "...Can I pass out here? I could teleport in a couch if you want."
<HabeusKaiju>: Eh, sure, might be nice to have a couch in here
<Wrong_Way>: "Sweet."
<Wrong_Way>: "There isn't a couch outside theo's office."
<HabeusKaiju>: Mark
<HabeusKaiju>: Think about what you said
Wrong_Way is instantly killed when a couch teleports inside of him]
<Wrong_Way>: [END OF RP]
<HabeusKaiju>: Where do you think the couch is, right now?
<Wrong_Way>: "uh...Outside?"
Wrong_Way thinks for a minute
Wrong_Way suddenly runs to the nearest window
<Wrong_Way>: "AW MAN!"
<HabeusKaiju>: Get it in here, before those back alley kids stink it up, with their....plants
<Wrong_Way>: "How many floors are we?"
<HabeusKaiju>: second floor
<HabeusKaiju>: we are in 201, right now
<Wrong_Way>: "I can't carry a couch 2 flights of stairs!"
HabeusKaiju rubs his temple, and groans
<HabeusKaiju>: Mark, how did you make the couch appear?
<Wrong_Way>: "I said, There isn't a couch outside theo's office."
Wrong_Way thinks about what he said and looks out the window again
<Wrong_Way>: "...I should probably stop saying that. They're starting to build a fort with them."
<HabeusKaiju>: just, port them in here
<Wrong_Way>: "The kids?"
<Wrong_Way>: "I guess it isn't too early to give them a PSA..."
<HabeusKaiju>: The couches, Mark. The couches
<Wrong_Way>: "Alright. The couches aren't in Hab's office."
Wrong_Way 's couches appeared stacked on top of each other
<Wrong_Way>: "AUGHHHH...."
<HabeusKaiju>: Send one to the dump...
<Wrong_Way>: "But Hab, look at them! They're brand new! I bet they have that new couch smell."
<HabeusKaiju>: Fine, send it to the Amity then
<HabeusKaiju>: they could use it
<Wrong_Way>: "Better idea. One of the couches isn't blocking the door to Buck's office."
<Wrong_Way>: The bottom most couch disappears, the top one slamming hard onto the ground. It's still somehow alright."
<HabeusKaiju>: What?!
<HabeusKaiju>: Why would you do that?
Wrong_Way snickers a bit
<Wrong_Way>: "Aw come on, it's going to be on the outside of his office."
<Wrong_Way>: "He can just push it aside."
Wrong_Way hops onto the couch
<Wrong_Way>: "You need to have more fun, Theo."
<HabeusKaiju>: Still, it's a hassle, and it's ha-Hey! I have plenty of fun!
<Wrong_Way>: "No you don't. You have a sword to protect your office. That's the closest thing I've seen to fun. You won't even let me pilot the S-Jet!"
<HabeusKaiju>: Kay, one, you can wash the jet, two, I got the sword fighting a giant shark, and three, I have plenty of fun times!
Wrong_Way gets up
<Wrong_Way>: "Name one thing you've done that was fun recently."
<HabeusKaiju>: I swam in the ocean!
<HabeusKaiju>: That's fun!
<Wrong_Way>: "...Was it an ocean of Fanta?"
<Wrong_Way>: "Because people swim in the ocean all the time!"
<Wrong_Way>: "I could go do that right now!"
<HabeusKaiju>: At 100 ft tall?
Wrong_Way thinks for a moment
<Wrong_Way>: "...Okay, that's like 4 out the 10 fun scale."
<HabeusKaiju>: Please
<Wrong_Way>: "It is! What are you going to do at 100ft tall?"
<HabeusKaiju>: And, anyways, I got new actions figures....of MYSELF!
<HabeusKaiju>: YOU DON'T MAKE ACTION FIGURES OF BORING PEOPLE!
<HabeusKaiju>: SOCRE ONE FOR THEO!
<Wrong_Way>: "YOU-YOU CAN MAKE ACTION FIGURES OF ANYONE! I bet there's a store for that IN JAPAN!"
<HabeusKaiju>: I'M BIG IN JAPAN!
<Wrong_Way>: "SO'S uh uh....IRON MAN!"
<Wrong_Way>: "THAT GUY WHO PLAYS HIM!"
<Wrong_Way>: "YEAH, So there's that!"
<HabeusKaiju>: SO I'M ROBERT DOWNEY JUNIOR? I AM AS FUN AS ROBERT DOWNEY JUNIOR?
<Wrong_Way>: "NO, Uh....THERE'S NICKLEBACK! I BET THEY'RE BIG THERE TOO!"
<Wrong_Way>: "HA!"
<HabeusKaiju>: DON'T YOU BRING NICKELBACK INTO THIS!
<Wrong_Way>: "I WILL IF I HAVE TO!"
<Wrong_Way>: "You're as fun as NICKELBACK!"
HabeusKaiju gasp
<HabeusKaiju>: Take that back!
Wrong_Way sits down on the couch, with his most serious face ever
<Wrong_Way>: "Make. me."
HabeusKaiju pulls out his phone
Wrong_Way keeps his composure
<HabeusKaiju>: Wanna try me?
Wrong_Way 's turtle has been on the desk watching all this fighting
<Wrong_Way>: "...Yeah. I think I will."
Wrong_Way 's expression is a bit crazy possibly from the sleep deprivation
<HabeusKaiju>: Alright
HabeusKaiju heads over to his computer and starts searching through student profiles
<HabeusKaiju>: let's see, let's see
<HabeusKaiju>: AH HA!
<HabeusKaiju>: How bout this?
<HabeusKaiju>: I'M GOING TO CALL YOUR PARENTS!
<Wrong_Way>: "HA! It's 6:30 am. What makes you think they'll be awake?"
Wrong_Way laughs for a bit
<Wrong_Way>: "...Wait, you're not going to try to call them while they're sleeping, right?"
<HabeusKaiju>: I just might!
Wrong_Way 's eyes widen, but quickly regains his serious expression
<Wrong_Way>: "They'll be awake. I mean asleep....I mean awake...Shoot! I mean they're going to answer."
Wrong_Way folds his arms confidently
<HabeusKaiju>: I can leave a message...
Wrong_Way realizes that
<Wrong_Way>: "Ohhhhh...."
<Wrong_Way>: "Ughh....."
<HabeusKaiju>: Just apologize, and it will be fixed
Wrong_Way looks to his turtle, who's been trying to eat crumbs out of Hab's keyboard
<Wrong_Way>: "...What are you going to even say to them, huh?"
<Wrong_Way>: ""Excuse me, Mark's mom, your son said that I remind him of Nickelback.""
<HabeusKaiju>: No
<HabeusKaiju>: You're son seems to have developed an oppositional complex, and seems to be a disturbance to the school's learning environment. Further actions could lead to reprimend
<Wrong_Way>: "...Shoot, that sounds professional..."
<HabeusKaiju>: You know it
Wrong_Way thinks for a minute
<Wrong_Way>: "...Your phone has a battery."
<HabeusKaiju>: Hrm
HabeusKaiju puts down his cellphone, and picks up his rotary phone
<Wrong_Way>: ['the power is on']
<Wrong_Way>: [HERE WE GO]
<HabeusKaiju>: school kills everyone everywhere]
<Wrong_Way>: "...what do those phones run on again?"
<HabeusKaiju>: Electricity
Wrong_Way tries to look for where the phone is connected
<HabeusKaiju>: Last chance. Just say you're sorry, and we can continue
Wrong_Way grumbles "But I'm not sorry..."
<HabeusKaiju>: Well then
HabeusKaiju hangs up the phone
<HabeusKaiju>: I won't call your parents
HabeusKaiju crosses his arms, and stares at Wrong_Way
Wrong_Way attempts to match his seriousness
<HabeusKaiju>: Apparently you think I'm so lame
<HabeusKaiju>: Apparently i think a friend wouldn't say that
<HabeusKaiju>: Am I right, or am I wrong?
<Wrong_Way>: "...Just because you're lame doesn't mean I think you're a cool friend."
<Wrong_Way>: "I mean, fun friends are fun to hang out with and put couchs in Buck's office with."
<Wrong_Way>: "Cool friends have your back and stuff. I mean, I wouldn't go to Donnie to tell him about how much I like Reverb or how many Vacunas crashed prom last night."
<HabeusKaiju>: So where am I in the friend spectrum
<HabeusKaiju>: or, as I like to call it, the SpecChum!
Wrong_Way stares at Hab at that terrible pun
<Wrong_Way>: "...Despite that...you're my cool friend, Theo."
<HabeusKaiju>: Woooooooooo
<Wrong_Way>: "...Sorry if me calling you lame made you feel lame."
<HabeusKaiju>: A bit, a bit
<Wrong_Way>: "Am I your friend still?"
<HabeusKaiju>: You think I'm that fickle over nickelback?
<Wrong_Way>: "Maybe. I used that insult on my first turtle and we didn't speak for weeks."
<HabeusKaiju>: Eh, I'm fine. We still good
<Wrong_Way>: "Alright. Can I still pass out here?" he says, patting the couch
<HabeusKaiju>: Sure, that's fine. I have to do paper work anyways
<Wrong_Way>: "Thanks."
Wrong_Way lays down on the couch and looks up to the ceiling
<Wrong_Way>: "...Hey Theo?"
HabeusKaiju sits at his desk
<HabeusKaiju>: Yeah?
<Wrong_Way>: "I take back what I said about being 100ft and swimming in the ocean. It's more like a 7 in my book."
<HabeusKaiju>: It is pretty fun
<HabeusKaiju>: and hey, maybe I can take you for a kaiju ride sometimes
<Wrong_Way>: "Maybe. Or we can go see a Nickelback concert."
Wrong_Way chuckles at that as he rolls over to a more comfortable sleeping position
<HabeusKaiju>: Night, Mark
<HabeusKaiju>: or, morning, or whatever
<Oasisis>: >nickelback]
Wrong_Way is already passed out
<Wrong_Way>: [destroyer of friendships, oasisis]
<Wrong_Way>: [the anti-life formula or equation or whatever]
<HabeusKaiju>: Anti-life equation]
<Wrong_Way>: [thanks friend]
<HabeusKaiju>: basic DC knowledge]
<HabeusKaiju>: STEP UP YO GAME!]
<Wrong_Way>: [...i'm more of a marvel guy]
<HabeusKaiju>: to each, their own]