SCP Draft: Business Cards

**Item #:** SCP-XXXX

**Object Class:** Safe

**Special Containment Procedures:** SCP-XXXX is to be locked in a standard security locker with a 6-digit combination. The combination is to be held by only one individual at a time. This individual is to be chosen specifically based on having high levels of contentedness with their current position within the Foundation. In addition, the combination holder is required to sign a contract stating they are no longer candidates for any potential promotions, raises, site movements, or any other such position changes that could be perceived as an upwards movement or a rise in status. This contract also forbids the combination holder from requesting any promotions, raises, etc. Any violation of this agreement will result in the immediate transferral of SCP-XXXX combination duties. Any personnel found using or bound to SCP-XXXX will be terminated following debriefing.

**Description:** SCP-XXXX is a plain stainless steel case for carrying business cards. SCP-XXXX is largely devoid of features, save for a slightly raised brass nameplate, and an engraving on the bottom side of the case. The nameplate is blank unless SCP-XXXX is bound to a person, in which case the nameplate displays the bonded individual’s legal name and any relevant titles the individual possesses. The engraving on the bottom reads “EXCELSIOR” in plain font below which reads “EVER UPWARDS” in a smaller size of the same plain font. SCP-XXXX contains between 1 and 50 business cards of varying ornateness. The number of and design quality of the business cards depends on the bonded individual and their occupation. Regardless of design, the cards always display the name and occupation/rank of the bonded individual.

SCP-XXXX has no anomalous effects until a person “bonds” with it. Said individual, henceforth referred to as the “subject”. A subject becomes bound to SCP-XXXX when an individual has possessed SCP-XXXX for a period of 1 hour and has employment in some capacity. Bonding will not start until a subject has employment and the process will stop and SCP-XXXX will slowly unbind if the subject is fired or loses employment at any time during or after the binding process. The binding process consists of the object slowly engraving the subject’s name and titles onto the brass nameplate. This process will always take 1 hour regardless of name length, and once it is complete, SCP-XXXX and the subject are considered “bound”.

SCP-XXXX has no noticeable anomalous effects on the unemployed, although this is subject to dispute, see Addendum 1 for more details.

SCP-XXXX’s main effect revolves around psychological manipulation of the subject. The subject gains great focus and determination surrounding their career and towards advancing their career and position. This career-driven attitude steadily grows into an obsession surrounding work, promotions, and the increase in status. Subjects go to extreme lengths to get promotions. More common methods used to secure promotions include taking on unhealthy amounts of overtime, giving gifts to superiors, and generally “sucking up” to superiors. Regardless of how often they are promoted, subjects will always become impatient and will eventually resort to extreme methods such as threats, intimidation, blackmail, “sexual favors”, and murdering rivals. Subjects exposed to SCP-XXXX’s influence almost universally display a similar default method of advancement, which is to murder a superior after grooming themselves into being a perfect replacement. Once a subject has successfully assumed a superior position, the subject seems content for a period of time. During this respite period, subjects report no desire to continue advancement or pursue promotions. This respite period can last several weeks during early times of exposure, but as the amount of time the subjects are exposed to SCP-XXXX increases this respite period rapidly decreases with some observed subjects displaying less than an hour of respite.

**Addendum:**
// Addendum Ideas: Business Card Forms, Testing/Observation Logs

Addendum 1: It is unknown if SCP-XXXX affects unemployed or jobless individuals. Testing this has proven difficult as D-Class personnel appear to be considered employees of the Foundation. In the limited testing of the unemployed, SCP-XXXX seems to choose a role the subject is currently engaged in and consider that as “employment”. Instances of testing on the unemployed include a previously unemployed D-Class who tried to convince site staff to employ them as a proper staff member, a “NEET” who subsequently worked to become a moderator and eventually admin on an online server for a popular video game they were involved in, and a homeless individual who lived in a community of similarly homeless individuals and eventually worked his way up to “King of Trash” and began leading his “subjects” on raids against “heathenistic” corner stores in order to steal their garbage.

It is not known what would happen if a subject who had no form of employment, job, or role was given SCP-XXXX, but given the unlikelihood of such an individual existing, testing is likely impossible, so it is inferred that SCP-XXXX would do nothing in this case.