Drunkard Anon Prologue

>Drinking, laughing, all good times
>That is until you get blackout drunk
>Some asshole's been staring at you at the end of the bar
>"Oy asshole, the fuck's with your hair, u a racis' or something?"
>Everyday It's the same guy
Hey man, could you just leave me alone, I'm trying to enjoy my nigh-
>"If u wasn't a racis' maybe I could, so leave"
>You know what
>Enough with this bullshit
Make me
>"You wot m8?"
>He approaches you and you get in a fighting stance, can't use your CCW or you'll get arrested
>He throws a punch and you uppercut him
>Suddenly you get struck in the back of the head
>His asshole friends, of course
>Blackout

1/x

>Wake up
>Sun
>Sun everywhere
>Your head doesn't ache, It's just unpleasent
>Your body however, aches horribly
>Looking down, blood
>Checking your belt, you find your pepper spray, knife, and in your pocket your CCW
>Trust old .357, 4 inch barrel loaded with .38
>Still have your EDC pack on your back
>You sit up, pain shooting through your body like electricity
>You gasp for breath, but manage to stand
>You're in a field, and near to that, a dusty old trail, warn with tracks
>Whelp, better get going

2/x

>As you enter town you notice something
>There aren't any people
>There's horses
>Talking horses
>Colorful horses
>Winged horses
>Horned horses
>Wut.jpg.tiff
>They're all staring at you, fear, wonder, awe, but most pay no mind after you initially arrive
>"Hey mister!"
>You turn, finding a small white pony with pink hair
>"What are you?"

3/x

>"I said, what are you"
>Dat voice
Well I'm a human, may I ask what are you?
>"I'm a Pony! Duh!"
And everyone here, are they all ponies
>You continue walking through town
>"Of course! This is ponyville! Except for a few Donkeys, and even a few griffons, we're mostly ponies"
Hmm
>You ponder for a moment
So you've never seen anyone like me?
>"Nope!"
And I've never seen anyone like you...
>"Yeah... What's your point?"
Say... Don't you have any parents who are looking for yo-
>"SWEETIE BELLE! Get away from that, filthy monster!"
>You turn spotting a similar looking pony, with a horn and a purple... mane?
>"But Rarity!" Sweetie Belle says
>"No buts! Come here this instant!" Rarity shouts
You might as well do it
>"And you! Who do you think you are? Thinking you can abduct my filly"
>She's getting all up in your face
>You grip your CCW
Look lady, she came up to me, I'm not trying to abduct anyo-
>She turns and tries to kick you, you grab her leg, pull her off balance sending her crashing down, pull your CCW, and put it to her skull
Look lady, get the fuck out of here or you're going to die, got it? Unless you want a .38 caliber slug going through your head, you better skedaddle
>"Unhand me you, you filthy ruffian!"
Fine
>You let go of her and put the cocked .357 in the holster again
>Suddenly blue

4/x

>"Who do you think you are grabbing ponies huh punk! I better teach you a lesson" says this blue cunt
Get out of my face you Dyke
>"WHO YOU CALLING A DYKE!" she says while throwing her hoof forward
>Grabbing it, you spin and fling her into the sky, plowing her into a chiminey
>By now the entire market has your attention
>You begin to jog, doesn't matter where, just matters that you get out of here as fast as possible.
>Rope
>Everywhere
>You unsheath your glock knife and cut it in two and speed up
>By now you're going Kenyan speed through town, passing ponies and dodging obstacles
>Ponies have begun shouting and screaming as you weave through them and jump over carts
>Gotta go fast!

5/x

>By now you're nearing the edge of town, a quick check with a mirrow shows nobody trailing you
>Thank god
>You manage to sprint into a nearby forest, about a half mile in
>Taking a quick breather, you open up your pack
>Taking out a tarp and paracord, you make your shelter
>Then, food
>Crackers and water
>Breakfast of champions
>Status Check
>Jimmy Rustled Status: Y[x] N[ ]
>Fucks given: 62
>Injuries: None
>After taking a quick resting brake, you pull out from your pack a sawed down pellet gun and a few pellets
>It's time to score some lunch
>Spotting your prey, you take aim and fire
>The pellet enters the brain of the rabbit you were aiming towards, killing it instantly
>Good eats tonight

6/x

>You gather some wood and put lint underneath it for tinder, and strike sparks, igniting the tinder and shooting flames up
>Cutting a slit in the rabbit, you flick it hard and send the guts flying off into the forest, and then take off all the skin from the body
>Taking your knife, you chop off the feet and the head, and the paws
>Skewering it on two sticks, placing it over the fire, it begins to cook
>As it does, you pull out a salt packet and generously coat the rabbit with some
>Then the pepper
>Within 30 minutes the rabbit is thoroughly cooked and burnt a fair bit
>A quick check proves it is cooked thoroughly, and it tastes delicious
>Now to ponder your situation.

7/7