My Mother is Unbelievably Embarrassing

My Mother is Unbelievably Embarrassing

I was backstage, getting dressed for the contest. I heard a knock at my door.
“Hey Dawn? You in there?” It was Lucas.
I finished zipping up my dress. “Come on in.”
Lucas opened the door. He wasn’t used to backstage, so the colorful costumes surprised him.
“Whoa. Dawn. You look amazing.”
I wore a tiny gray dress, one that only went down to my thighs.
“Thanks, Lucas. I’m glad you came here to see me.”
“Hey, anytime. I mean, if you’re performing, I have to see it.”
Lucas was more of a pokemon battler than a contest performer. I convinced him to try once and he tripped over his own feet.
“Oh,” Lucas added, “I saw your mom in the lobby, said ‘hi’ to her.”
“Oh? Mom’s here?”
“Yeah. Isn’t she a contest champion?”
I nodded. “She was. I haven’t seen her in a while. How is she doing?”
“A little loud, honestly.”
I tilted my head. “Loud?”
“Yeah, loud. She was hollering about how her baby girl’s all grown up now. Smelled funny too.”
“Funny like bad perfume?”
Lucas shook his head. “I don’t think that was perfume.”
I wasn’t sure what to make of that.
“So, this contest, it’s head to head?” Lucas said.
“Yeah. I’ll be competing against someone else. It’s going to be so fun. Cheer for me, okay?”
Lucas nodded. “I will.”
I saw a stage hand knock on my door before entering. “Dawn Hikari?”
“That’s me!”
“You’re on soon.”
I turned to Lucas. “Wish me luck, okay?”
“Good luck, Dawn. You can win. I know it!”

I stood on stage, behind the curtain, next to my competitor. She was a little taller than me and had only a shellos-patterned bikini on. “You’re Dawn?” she said.
“Yep. You?”
“Stephanie.”
I smiled and gave her a thumb up. “Good luck, Stephanie!”
She smiled and nodded. “May the best competitor win.”
Another stagehand called out. “Pokemon! Take your place!”
A huge Gastrodon slithered up to my opponent. It had pieces of fluff taped all over its slimy body. I turned around and saw my Drifblim, wearing a feather boa and a bow on its head. The curtain raised.
“Whoo! That’s my baby girl! Go Dawn! Go!”
It was Mom. She had a can of something in her hand. I don’t think it was soda.

I started my performance, dancing a kind of leapfrog thing that Drifblim and I practiced for weeks. I hopped over her, she floated over me. Then we twirled around.
An older woman called out from the audience. “Your Knees are fat! Fat!”
I tried to ignore her. Mom shouted.
“My daughter’s knees are not fat!”
Once my dance was over, the audience cheered. Then, it was Stephanie’s turn. The older woman, the one that heckled me, cheered. “Stephanie! You look so cute, Stephanie!”
She pranced around and posed, while Gastrodon jiggled around like a plate of gelatin. Her mom shouted, “Stephanie! Stephanie! You go, Stephanie!”
My mom shouted. “Your daughter’s a whore!”
I shot Mom a nasty look. I don’t think she noticed. Once Stephanie’s dance was over, everyone in the audience cheered. Except mom. She booed.
“Boo! Don’t let that mini-slut win! Boo! Boo!”
It was my turn to dance again. This part was tricky. Drifblim floated up, above my head. I spun around, struck a pose, and then did a handstand. Drifblim grabbed my ankles and lifted me above the ground. Mom cheered.
“Dawn! Dawn! You’re the best Dawn!”
Stephanie’s mom snarled, “I can see your panties, and you fat thunder thighs!”
True, the whole audience could see them. I didn’t mind. I’d performed in much more revealing outfits in my day.
Drifblim set me back down. The audience cheered, except for Stephanie’s mom. “Boo! She’s so ugly! Boo!”
My mom shot Stephanie’s mom a glance.
It was Stephanie’s turn to dance. She jumped on Gastrodon like a trampoline, higher and higher, until she performed a backflip. Her landing wasn’t great, but Gastrodon’s squishy body caught her. My mom called out, “Nice flip. Now do it right.”
Stephanie’s mom did not cheer with the rest of the audience. Instead, she gave my mom a rude hand gesture.

It was my turn to dance again. I was ready for my big finale with Drifblim, where she starts spinning on the ground and I jump over her arms. I heard Stephanie’s mom call out from the seats, “You’re stupid and fat and ugly!”
My mom stood up. “What did you say about my daughter?”
Stephanie’s mom faced mine. “I said, your daughter is stupid and fat and—”
My mom punched her in the face. Drifblim and I stopped. The audience wasn’t looking at us anymore.
Stephanie’s mom looked mine in the eyes. “You bitch!” She punched my mom so hard that she dropped her purse. I saw beer cans roll out of it, empty ones.
“Mom! Mom, stop!” Stephanie shouted.
I watched in silence as my mom punched Stephanie’s again. Some people in the crowd tried to break it up. They pulled Stephanie’s mom away, but she broke free.
“Bitch! I will end you, bitch!” She tackled my mom to the floor. Tears rolled down Stephanie’s face.
“Mom! Stop! Please!”
She kept sobbing. I walked over and patted her on the shoulder. She clung to me. “Thanks, Dawn.”
I turned to our moms. They were on the floor, biting each other and pulling hair, like they were children. I turned to Drifblim.
“Pull Mom away.”
Drifblim shuddered. She wasn’t very strong, not trained for strength or battling or anything.
“Please?”
Drifblim deflated herself. I guess I didn’t blame her. I wouldn’t want to get close to that fight either. I did see someone familiar trying to pry my mom off of Stephanie’s. It was Lucas.
“Mrs. Hikari, stop!”
She growled as she pulled on Stephanie’s Mom’s hair. “Stay out of this, shortstuff.”
“Mrs. Hikari, you’re drunk! Stop!”
She let go and smacked Lucas across the face. “I said stay out!”
Why? Why was she like this? Mom wasn’t always this bad. She was so kind and gentle when I was a little girl. What happened? I cried. I stood on stage with Stephanie and cried.
“Security! Get off of her! Now!”
I couldn’t see. My eyes were too clouded with tears.
“Don’t make us use force!”
I heard some crackling, and screams.
“You… Your Shinx tazed me!”
“Ma’am, I need you to—”
“Your Shinx tazed—”
More crackles. More screams.

-PKMN-

I was backstage again, in my dressing room. Security had since broken up the fight, but I still hurt. Why did Mom do this? Why? I remembered back when I was a kid, she was so friendly, so gentle.
Lucas knocked on my door. “Dawn?”
“Come in.”
Lucas’ lip was still swollen from when my mom smacked him.
“I am so, so, so sorry, Lucas.”
“Hey it’s not your fault.” He sat down next to me. “You were beautiful up there, you and your Drifblim. You know that?”
I smiled. “Thanks. We worked hard on that routine, we really did.” I sighed. “But no one’s going to remember this for our dancing. This’ll be ‘That time my mom and Stephanie’s mom beat the snot out of each other’.”
Lucas cringed. “Yeah. I won’t argue with that. Still, you did good up there.”
I leaned in and hugged Lucas. “Thanks.”
A security guard tapped on our door. “Ms. Hikari?”
I let go of Lucas. “Yes?”
“Your mother would like to see you.”
I gulped. Lucas patted me on the back. “It’s okay. You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
“No, it’s fine. I’ll see her.”

Security led Lucas and I to the lobby. I saw my mom sitting at a bench. She was handcuffed, with a bruised face, disheveled hair, and a few tears in her outfit. She smelled like beer and sweat.
“Mom? You wanted to see me.”
“Oh Dawn. Oh, my little baby girl, Dawn.” She took a deep breath in. “They’re taking me away, Dawn. I’m going to jail. I am so, so, sorry, Dawn.”
“Mom, it’s okay. I—”
“It’s just, I never went to see you perform and I wanted to see you, but I was scared, so I drank a lot of beer and then that bitch in the other row started screaming and… Oh I am so sorry, Dawn.”
I nodded. “Apology accepted.”
“You… You really… Oh Dawn…” She started to sob. “I am a horrible mommy.”
“Don’t say that, Mom.”
“No. I am a terrible mom. I want to go out and scream on the highest mountain how much I suck. Because I screwed up and I am so sorry and…” Her words degraded into nonsensical bawling.
“Mrs. Hikari?” Lucas said.
She turned to Lucas. “Come here, little guy.”
Lucas moved toward her.
“Closer.”
He moved again.
“Closer.”
I didn’t know what she wanted. “Mom?”
“Closer?”
Lucas was right next to her. She gave him the wettest, sloppiest, drunkest kiss I’d ever seen anyone give anyone. Lucas put on a look of sheer horror. I had to turn away.
“You’re a hunk, you know that?” She gave Lucas the most idiotic smile I’d ever seen. “I’ll think of you in jail, hunkster.”
I cringed. “Mom…”

The End