Random Playable Fantasy NPC Trait Generator

$name : Random Playable Fantasy NPC Trait Generator
$author : C Roald
$description : A trait, quirk, or mannerism to make your NPC more fun and memorable. This list focuses on things the DM can role-play; something like "unusually big nose" might seem memorable, but it's lame to keep saying "oh yeah Jack has a big nose in case you forgot".
$amount : 3
$button : Describe!

$trait
A secret Angel of Charity, on vacation. Doesn’t really understand people.
A simpleton, possessed by the ghost of a long-dead sorceress. Both sometimes talk.
Always attempts to hide face
Always looking for a hookup
Always scratching self; says it’s nothing
Always short of breath
Anguished by unrequited love
Argumentative
Asks rhetorical questions and answers
Big believer in the value of naps
Blunt, insensitive, “just being honest”
Calls PCs “Esteemed sir/madam”
Calls everyone “Boyo"
Can hook you up; likes to show off
Carries pet hamster (named Boo)
Chill dude
Comically naive
Complains constantly about trick knee
Condescending, frowns at every request
Constantly fiddling with a small dagger
Cowardly
Crafty and ambitious
Crudely prejudiced against ____
Depressed and fatalistic
Devoted to pet dog, Wooster
Drunk at every opportunity
Dudley Do-right
Eager to learn anything available
Embarrassingly happy to help
Enjoys touching face
Enthusiast for foul and violent language
Entirely avoids eye contact with anyone
Excellent posture at all times
Fastidious, neatnik
Flamboyant, loves attention
Flirtatious and charming
Freeloader
Generous to a fault
Gesticulates wildly, but only with left arm
Greatly exaggerates
Hands in pockets, hunched shoulders
Hard of hearing
Hates children
Haunted by recent tragedy
Hawks and spits before speaking
Helplessly gullible
Highly impatient, rude
Highly protective of someone specific, whether they need it or not
Hooks thumbs in belt and bounces
Hopeless romantic
Incredibly earnest
Intense; cannot stand still
Interrupts others
Inveterate gambler
Irrepressibly cheerful
John Wayne voice
Kleptomaniac
Laconic, imperturbable, says ‘Ayup’ a lot
Laughs at strange/inappropriate moments
Left eye is permanently squinty
Lisps
Manipulative, untrustworthy
Nasal voice
Nogoodnik
Not nearly as talented as thinks s/he is
Obsequious
Obviously smitten with one of the PCs
One hand always on half-cocked hip
Ostentatiously cynical
Overly dramatic, hard done by
Pathological Liar
Perpetual sniffle
Persistently superstitious
Peter Lorre voice
Places chin on fist when thinking, while making the 'money' sign with the same hand
Pretends to know what’s going on; never does
Rebel without a clue
Rigid, outspoken prude
Sarcastic bastard
Self-conscious about bad breath
Self-deprecating
Slouches terribly
Smiles excessively
Staggeringly lazy
Stammers
Starts each statement with "Yeah-yeah" or "Good-good" and licks left thumb.
Starts nearly every sentence, "Well, the way I figger it..."
Sucks his/her teeth when thinking
Sweet but painfully dumb
Takes every shortcut possible
Talks like a pirate
Talks too loud, oblivious to social cues
Talks with hands
Taps feet at every opportunity
Terribly curious. About everything
Terrifyingly enthusiastic
Tilts head and nods when listening
Too honest for own good
Very concerned about appearance
Wants to be a druid very badly; isn't working out so well yet
Waxed moustache, twirls villainously
Wedded to good-luck charm; it might even be real
Weirdness magnet
Wide-eyed, blinks a lot
Will go to any length to lock eyes with someone
Will snort anything once
William Shatner voice
Won't shut up about _____
Won't talk above a whisper
Won't tolerate the slightest disrespect
Won’t speak more than a word or two at a time
Wrings hands constantly