DAiE Ch. 4 P. 1 - The Teacher

>chaos.
>Again, it haunts you.
>chaos.
>Why won't he leave you alone?!
>CHAOS.
>WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM YOU?!
"CHAOS!"
>You shout out into the darkness, thrown back into reality from the dream.
>You are Doctor Anonymous, and right now.
>Right now, you are wondering what the hell that was.
>The voice recognition systems throttle Albert from his sleep mode at the foot of your bed, and off the food of your bed.
>"Gyah!"
>You hear him hit the wooden floor with a metallic 'thud'. He promptly hovers back into view.
>"D-doctor? What's wrong? Are you alright?"
>You look into his optics, and sigh.
"Yes.. yes, I think so."
>You manage to pry yourself out of bed. Your attention is drawn to the bandages still wrapped around your hands.
"Albert? If you would?"
>You motion down to them, and he dutifully flies over and produces a small blade from his gripper. He removes the bandages and you look at your hands. Pale, and pink, but what were horrible burns are now smooth skin.
>Grinning, you throw yourself out of bed.
>Despite that little mishap, you know in your heart.
>Today, like all days, is a good day for science.

"Albert! I desire sustenance! Fix me up something stimulating."
>Albert looks at you with a wry smirk.
>"Certainly, sir. Would you prefer dust or lint?"
>Your obvious displeasure makes the light in his optical sensor roll.
>"We just moved here, remember? There might be some leftovers from Pinkie's party last night, but we don't have any actual food. Nor do we have the currency with which to acquire it."
>...shit. He's right.
>Didn't Celestia mention something about getting you a position as an assistant to a local Ponyville tinkerer?
>You can hardly stomach the idea of being a subordinate again. You'll find another source of income. For now, time to see what Pinkamina left. It might be snack food or pastry, but biofuel would be especially necessary for the tasks ahead.
>You wandered out into the kitchen. The place looks relatively clean, for having just been filled with ponies last night.
>In the fridge is a carton of milk, which by the cobwebs decorating it, you know you are terrified of disturbing.
>On the shelf above it, a slice of cake.
>That mare.
>You grab the cake, and make your way over to the table, where Albert awaits you.
"So, Albert, I'm in a rather chipper mood today."
>"Is that so doctor? Why?"
>You grin.
"I know how we're getting home."

>That seems to brighten him up. "Oh? Do tell!"
>You take your first bite of the cake, and your entire body soars for a second. For all of the parties Pinkamina has put you through, she can really bake. You'll have to ask her for the recipe before you leave.
"I've been processing it for a while now, and last night's little... event."
>You grind your teeth slightly, and your face heats up with the fresh embarrassment.
"Well, it confirmed my suspicions. Enough to start testing them in more quantifiable ways, of course."
>Albert's optics never move from you as you continue to eat and explain.
"You see, all of the pony archetypes: Earth, Pegasus and Unicorn, have abilities that defy typical physics, and indeed even this universe's physics. An ability which, for simplicity's sake, we can refer to as magic."
>Another bite.
"Each pony, I believe, has an inherent reservoir of magic. An internal source of the phenomena which fuels those powers. Such as the earth pony's disproportionate strength, or the pegasus ability to walk on clouds."
>Here's where you're really starting to postulate, but it makes enough sense to pursue.
"But, dear Albert, as we can defer from Starbeard's Constant, Friendship=Magic."

"Friendship, that is, mental and physical bonds between ponies establishes a sort of metaphysical link. It allows them to pool their magical resources and excel at their abilities. Effectively, a pony has as much magic as they have friends."
>And now, the crescendo of your plan.
"And who, in Equestria, has the most friends that we've seen?"
>Albert silently processes this.
"Who, in Equestria, have we seen performing feats that defy the laws of even Equestrian physics with such deftness as to confuse even the most well versed in magical theory?"
>It dawns on him. He looks at you with wide optics.
>"Pinkie Pie."
"Precisely. The universe around her bends to aid her. Not in an overt, purposeful way, like Twilight's spells, but in a natural, fluid way. It simply alters, locally, the way things work. Much like a certain crystal that fell from the sky one fateful night."
>You can see the little robot running through a mass of calculations in his processors.
>"You think somehow Pinkie can get us home?"
"It's our best bet. That crystal had the same properties as she does, and it's what got us here. I simply need to understand it bet-"
>You are interrupted by your stomach growling loudly.

>Albert sighs. "You just ate a whole piece of cake, Doctor."
>You bite your lip. You just spent A LOT of energy last night, fixing your hands. And the night before that, super-heating gasses into projected beams of plasma. You've got a caloric debt you need to settle.
>A rumbly in your tumbly.
"Albert... I think I may need to take that job the Princess lined up for me.
>"You? An assistant?"
>You grimace.
"I know. I'm going to try and get some tools of my own, so while I'm gone, make some work space for me."
>He nods, and you get up from the table. You grab your labcoat and sling it over yourself, sliding your arms into the sleeves and buttoning the breast over with deft ease.
>You throw open the door, and step outside. It's a wonderful feeling, being able to do so without your rebreather.
>Your alien form still catches a couple stares from ponies as you walk through Ponyville. Most of them have seen you around, at one of Pinkamina's parties, but you suspect they might never quite get used to you.
>Which is fair enough. You don't really need them to.

>You arrive at the tinkerer's workshop. It's on the edge of Ponyville, a large brick structure hidden away from the color and brightness. It has its own pastel charm, but something about it seems muted.
>Ah well, you knock on the door. When no one answers, you try the doorknob.
>It opens, and you're hit by the music. The screeching of a distorted electric guitar. Not the first thing you imagine being in a pony's taste, but it fits the atmosphere of the place.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJ0JHS9i380&feature=relmfu
>Hunks of scrap metal are mounted on the walls. All around you, strange machines. It was strange seeing mechanisms like that in Equestria. Sure, they were developed with the same sort of whimsy ponies made everything with. A candy-cane stripe pattern here, a steamer there. Pink and purple paint, but it was refreshingly...
>Industrial.
>You immediately recognize the smell and sound of arc welding beneath the guitar.
>As you make your way past what looks like a rudimentary flying machine, and a small wagon, you see the tinkerer.
>You don't see wings, or a horn, or even a face. Behind the welding mask, and the bright light of the arc, you can tell almost nothing about the pony.
"Hello?"
>No response.
"I'm here about the job."
>They can't hear you. Or are ignoring you. Or both.
"I'm.. I'm Doctor Anonymous?"
>...
>Oh, fuck it. You walk over to the stereo and firmly press the pause button. Immediately, that gets the tinkerer's attention.
>"Hey! Who turned off my jams?"
>...wait.
>You know that voice.
>Pinkamina lifts the welding mask off her face.
>"Oh! Hi Doc!"

>You don't know what you're doing.
>But you've got Pinkamina pinned up against the wall. Her welding mask's fallen off, and she's got her poofy hair tied back in a messy, sweaty ponytail.
>She's looking up at you, a slightly red tinge in her face. But she's smiling. Always smiling.
>"What's up, Doc?"
"You're following me."
>"You're the one who came into my shop, Anon."
"You know what I mean, Pinkamina. Two parties, the Canterlot Dining Hall, and now this? Don't think I'm not wise to your tricks, little pony, I..."
>Oh, damnit. Now she's looking away.
"...I'm being paranoid, and neurotic."
>"...no, I am sorta following you."
>what

>"Well, I mean. At first I didn't think much about it. But the longer I did, the more I realized how sad it was."
"Sad?"
>You place the pink mare down on the ground, and squat to keep on eye level with her, even if she won't look you in the eyes anymore.
>"Yeah... you came to Equestria, which is really cool, because you're pretty neat!"
>She smiles, but it's a sad smile. What is... nevermind.
>"But... you had to leave all your friends and family behind. Everypon... one you've ever known, you may never see again."
>You actually... hadn't thought of it that way.
>"I know that if I suddenly got sent to a new world. If that happened to me, I'd like to see new things but... I would miss everyp0ny. I'd be lonely."
>Her blue, blue eyes finally drift back to yours.
>"...so I wanted to make sure that you'd have at least one friend in Equestria you could count on. So you wouldn't be lonely."

>You weren't much for other people. Even at your social peak, you never made many friends. Maybe one or two other scientists. People you could geek out about over your passions.
>But even if there weren't many of them.. you might never see them again. Never once had it occurred to you that the path here from your universe might be one-way.
>That you might be stuck.
>That there wasn't a way.
>You look at Pinkamina. She looks back at you expectantly, like you could burst out in anger at any second.
>Instead, you pull her into a hug.
>She squeaks slightly, and you feel her body go stiff.
>Ponies have a strange way of reacting to being hugged.
>Every fibre of your body screams out to let her go. That little voice in your mind tells you that she's filthy. Crawling with germs that as even now are worming their way into your pristine immune system and tearing your body to shreds.
>But right now, you can't find a fuck to give. You're washed over by the idea that you might never go 'home' again. And you pour all that stress into hugging the crap out of this extradimensional pink pony.
>And she hugs back.

>After what seems like an eternity, you let her go.
"I.. I'm sorry Pinkamina, that was terribly unprofessional of me. Especially to a prospective employer. This is your shop?"
>She shakes your head as you apologize. Her smile is back. "I'm all about unprofessional, Doc."
"I thought you worked at Sugarcube Corner."
>She shrugs her shoulders, picking up the welding mask and setting it on a shelf. "Girl's gotta have a hobby. Besides, I like making things that help with parties! Like that, that's the welcome wagon!"
>She gasps, "Anon! I didn't give you the Welcome Wagon when you arrived in Ponyville!"
>This time it's your turn to smile.
"I-I'm sure it's nice, Pinkamina, but about the jo-"
>"Hold on right there!" She gallops off into the workshop, and zips back suddenly with her hair out of the ponytail. She presses a button on the thing, which produces a quiet 'honk', and then the music starts.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7z5Ngl7AXxU

>As her song finishes, you're hit with a blast of hot air that threatens to topple even your augmented body.
>"That's where the cake usually launches out. But I didn't have it ready. Sorry!"
"Th-that's fine, Pinkamina. Really."
>You wander up to the machine, and look down into its workings. Gears, sprockets and springs. But.. something's wrong.
>Something's very wrong.
>You look over to the flying machine.
"Pinkamina, this machine is supposed to propel you through the air, correct? Sort of like a pegasus?"
>"Yup. It runs on Pinkie power!" She gives the pedals a spin to emphasize her point.
"Does it... work?"
>"Of course, silly filly!" Her smile fades for a second. "Why do you ask?"
>You ask because it shouldn't. The way it's designed, it shouldn't produce net thrust in, well, any direction. Much less up.
"Does it work for -other- ponies?"
>Now her smile's really gone.
>"...no. H.. how did you know?"
>Even if you can tell she's sad, you can't help but feel triumphant.
>You know because you were just discussing it with Albert.
>These machines are on the cusp of making sense, but all of them in some way or another, don't.
>They run on 'Pinkie Power', quite literally.

"Call it a hunch, Pinkamina."
>You turn to her, and your smirk puts a look of confusion on her face.
"You told Princess Celestia that you were in the market for an assistant around the shop, right?"
>She nods her head.
"Well, Pinkamina, I think you do need some help here. These machines are very close to working, actually. It shouldn't take much..."
>You can see she doesn't understand.
"What I'm saying, is that instead of an assistant, you should hire me as a teacher."
>"Teacher? What... what do you wanna teach me?"
>Your grin grows wide, and her eyes grow with it.
>You squat down again.
"I want to teach you how to make -real- machines, that really work, and why these ones don't. To take your wrench in hand- er, hoof, and tighten your grip on the laws of nature."
>Her eyes grow even wider.
"I want to teach you about science."