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- PROMPT: Picture of Apple Bloom with a sweater, skirt, boots and scarf in cold weather standing in front of a door with her hands out in a ‘what’ gesture with an open smile, Applejack’s feet are seen outside
- “Uncle Anon!”
- *hugs you around your waist, almost knocking you down*
- ------------------------
- >"Uncle Anon!"
- >Be Unbalanced Anon
- >You knew the whole Apple Family would be coming, hell, you invited them over for some Christmas Eve dinner
- >But you weren't expecting to be nearly tackled to the floor after opening your door a crack
- "Heya Bloom!"
- >Returning the hug, you look down to see her smiling face beaming at you, her chin nestled softly in your stomach
- >Daaaaw...
- >"Thanks fer hosting us Anon, it was mighty kind of you!”
- >”Eeyup.”
- >”And we din’t come emptah handed neither!”
- >Looking up at the rest of your guests, you see Applejack and Big Mac, near spitting images of Pear Butter and Bright Mac respectively
- >You know they’d be proud of who they’ve become
- >And following in the rear is good ‘ol Granny Smith carrying her special apple pies
- “Granny, I would’ve made some pie, but we both know who’d win.”
- >”Oh hush, just finally admit it ‘nd quit lyin to yerself.”
- “Only when you’re able to see the truth for what it is.”
- >”HEH HA!”
- >Taking both of the pies from her hands, you lean into her warm embrace
- “It’s always good to see you.”
- >”Same here sweetie.”
- “I still want that recipe though.”
- >”Well, ye ain’t gettin it, ‘cause ev’ry time you have an apple pie, you’ll be thinkin’ of me and wishing you had some-uv-mine.”
- >Released from her grip, you try taking a couple of steps to your kitchen but quickly remember that something’s hooked to your hip
- “Hey Apple Bloom?”
- >”Yeah Uncle Anon?”
- “You wanna help me take these pies to the kitchen?”
- >”Sure!”
- >Apple Bloom jumps off of your waist and holds out both hands, cocking her head to the side slightly with a small grin
- “Wow, you seem taller since I last saw you. How big are you now?” you say as you gingerly place one of the pies in her hands
- >”I’m 5’ 6”!”
- “My my, soon you’ll be as big as your sister!”
- >”I know!”
- >Stepping into the kitchen, you both set the pies down in an empty space on your counter
- “Hey Bloom, can you do something for me?”
- >”Sure.”
- >Turning your head, you check the area around you quickly to see if anybody’s looking
- >Seeing nobody around, you lean down and cup her ear in your hand and softly whisper so no one but her can hear
- “~I need some help finishing the food-”
- >”Say no more, I’ll help.”
- >Pulling away from her ear, you smile at her eagerness to help and pat her head
- “Well that was easy. I just need some help with your favorite-”
- >”Cider? No wait, cherry strudel!”
- “Nope.”
- >”Pound cake?”
- “Still no.”
- >”Rice pudding?”
- “Bingo,” you say as you lightly poke her nose, “can you get the ingredients while I-”
- >Before you could finish your sentence, she darts to your fridge and pantry, pulling out the milk, rice and corn starch
- >Seeing this, you know what to do
- >Slowly, you start getting everything you need
- >”C’mon Uncle Anon!”
- >Teasing her further, you take out a pot and gradually set it on the stove at a sloth-like pace
- >”Ugh, Uncle Anon…”
- >Having set the pot on the burner, you turn the knob to heat it up
- “Alright, you go ahead and make this while I check on everything else, ok?”
- >”Y’want me to make it ALONE?”
- “Bloom, how many times have you made it before?”
- >”...”
- “And where will I be?”
- >”...in the kitchen with me…”
- “You can do it Appy, besides,” placing a hand on her shoulder, you give it a quick squeeze, “you’ll be able to make it yourself from now on.”
- >Returning your smile, she begins to commandeer the pudding-making efforts
- >Sidling up beside her, you check your signature gravy by dipping a finger into the mixture and plopping it in your mouth
- >Semi-thick, salty and rich, just like how Papanon made it
- >Giving it a quick stir, you check the timer for the ham, turkey and green bean casserole and notice that you have around forty five minutes left
- >That’s just enough time to make some stuffing and mac & cheese
- >You yourself go off and get the ingredients for the two remaining dishes and begin to make a roux
- >As you have the beginnings of a bechamel sauce and turn to start the stuffing, you feel something bump into your side
- >”Sorry!”
- >Oh, you can’t let this crime go unpunished
- >Swaying from side-to-side, you assault her by bumping her with the side of your hip
- >”What-Anon!”
- “What, you don’t like my dancing?” you say as you now start waving your hands in the air like you just don’t care
- >When she moves away from you, you follow her
- >”That about darn does it!”
- >Surprised at her outburst, you don’t expect to be greeted in the same fashion that you’ve been treating her
- >All that manages to do is make you laugh with Apple Bloom following soon after
- >Returning to your duties, the both of you eventually complete your tasks
- >Pulling out the main courses and side dish from the oven, you turn and see her placing the small dishes with the pudding in the fridge
- “All right, that about does it. Wanna go off and tell them dinner’s ready?”
- >”Aye, aye, Non-Non!”
- >As soon as she bolts out of the kitchen, you rush to the gravy and use the ladle to fish out the turkey’s gizzard and liver
- “C’mon, c’mon-” the moment you think you’ve got the liver, it plops back into the sauce, “-dammit…”
- >”-bout time, I was gettin’ mighty hungry!”
- >shitshitshitYES
- >Having gotten both the liver and gizzard in one go, you rush the ladle to the trash can and dump it, not caring if the gravy spills on the ground
- >Rushing back to the pot, you unfortunately slide across the slick tile
- >Before falling on your ass, you pull off a rather impressive move, sliding to the pot, dropping the ladle in and then, with the dexterity of a flopping fish out of water that’s starting its own mosh pit, you crash to the ground
- >You think you feel your tailbone being pushed through your asshole
- >”-nd I thought-ANON!”
- >You’ve fallen and you can’t get up
- >Thankfully, Big Mac and Applejack are here to haul your sorry ass back to an upright position
- >”Ya need ta be more careful Anon.”
- >”Eeyup.”
- >”Quit yer yappin! He may not be a youngin, but he’s still spry!”
- “What Gran Gran said.” you say as you massage your sore glutes
- >Fuck, why does it feel like a horse rode you for hours on end?
- >”Are you ok Uncle Anon?”
- >Looking down, you don’t see a lively Apple Bloom, but one that’s tearing up
- “Of course I’m fine sweetie,” you say as you cup her face, “it takes a lot more than a little bump to hurt me.”
- >Promptly booping her nose and ruffling her hair, you start getting the plates out
- “Now, who’s hungry?”
- >With everyone getting their plates and piling them with a heaping amount of food, you sit down at your dining table and dig in
- >Even though your rear payed a price oh so dear, you’re thankful you got the giblets out in time
- >Apple Bloom would’ve screamed in revelation of your ‘secret ingredients’
- >”It’s so good! Uncle Non, what’s your secret?”
- “I don’t know how many times I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again: love.”
- >”Ugh…”
- >Enjoying the lamentations of a youth’s unanswered question, you savor the cacophony of flavors present
- >You might not have the talent of cooking like Papanon or baking like Mamanon, but you hold your own
- “How’s football practice Mac?”
- >”Fine.”
- >Young man of few words
- >Hell, when he was younger, he couldn’t pipe down
- >But after your friends passed, he got quiet
- >... it still doesn’t feel right and you don’t think you’ll ever get used to it
- “That’s good to hear. How’s school for you Applejack?”
- >”I think I might’ve made a new friend.”
- “Oh really? What’s their name?”
- >”Rainbow Dash.”
- “Wait, ain’t that the gal you hate so much?”
- >”Well… yeah. She’s cocky, arrogant and an all ‘round blowhard, but she’s fun and alright.”
- “As long as you two don’t get into any trouble, then that’s good. What about you Bloom?”
- >”Scoots, Sweetie and I went to the planetarium for a field trip! It was so cool! We looked through this large telescope scope and-oooooh, oooooooh wait! We also saw this awesome display of the planets in the solar system and-”
- >Holding onto her every word, you grin at her depictions of one of her daily adventures
- >It reminds you of how you were when you were her age
- >Oh, the joys of being in middle school without a care in the world
- >”-so got ice cream for astronauts! Did you know that Pluto ain’t a planet?”
- >You can already tell where this is going
- >”Pluto is a planet darnit!”
- >”That’s not what the teacher said, Granny.”
- >”Well, back in mah day, we-”
- “Who wants some dessert!”
- >”I do!”
- >”Eeyup!”
- >Applejack and Big Mac jump on the enticing bandwagon of sweetness, helping derail a potentially tiresome familial argument
- >Grabbing everyone’s plates, you go into the kitchen and place them in the sink
- >Pulling out some bowls, you dish the pie out and serve it à la mode
- >”What about the rice pudding Uncle Anon?”
- >Patting her head, you pinch her cheek
- “We’ll have it, it just needs to cool down and chill, don’t worry.”
- >Moving everybody to the living room, you sit down in your comfy chair with Apple Bloom planting her rear in between your leg and the armrest soon after
- >Before you grab the remote, you look down at her in curiosity and see her staring up at you with a dopey grin, kicking her legs not out of joy, but pure contentedness
- >Pulling her a bit closer and tickling her, she giggles as you turn on the t.v. and play one of the Christmas specials
- >”So it’s one of ‘em moov’en picturs, eh?”
- “Yup.”
- >You have a bite of the pie and feel like you’re on cloud nine
- “Granny, I have no idea how you do it, but somehow your pies get better and better each time you make them.”
- >”Are you sayin my pies tasted like garbage before?”
- “Your words, not mine, and I’m glad you’re finally listening to reason.”
- >Chuckling softly to herself, she gives you a wink in approval
- >”Uncle ‘Non, can we share our presents?”
- >Without looking at her, you peck her on the cheek
- “Wait until tomorrow, then we can share Bloom.”
- >”Ok…”
- >The rest of the short night is spent watching cartoons and talking about life and soon enough, it’s late
- >After you all get up and stretch, you direct Granny Smith to your bedroom and the other Apples to the spare
- >”Where will you sleep Uncle Anon?”
- “I’m gonna stay up and do some work, I’ve been slacking anyways.”
- >”Ok!”
- >Sending them off, they all go to bed which leaves just you
- >Going into your home office, you start to grade your student’s end-of-semester papers
- “-back in eighteen forty-it’s nineteen forty five you fucking nonce…
- >Throwing your head into your hands in frustration, you decide to sift through the papers and do the best ones first
- >Awful… drivel… what is THIS garbage!
- >No matter how much you fight with the principal, she just won’t let you give the kids an honest grade and try to help them
- >It’s all just ‘keep giving them tests’ and ‘give them mountains of extra credit’ bullshit
- >Thankfully, there’s a rumor going around that there will be a change in leadership soon
- >You hope that change includes the vice principal, he’s a daft tool
- “I need a drink.”
- >Opening one of the drawers to your desk, you pop open the false bottom and retrieve a flask of good boy juice and have a swig
- >Mmmmmm, muuuuuuch better…
- >Putting it away, you continue sifting through the papers, finding a couple noteworthy ones from your usual star students
- >Over time, your eyelids begin to get heavier and heavier, and it isn’t long before you drift off to a cozy slumber
- >Waking up with a sore back, you think you hear something coming from your living room
- >Standing up and stretching out, you yawn and groggily make your way to the source of the noise
- >You could go for a glass of water anyways
- >As you get closer, the sounds are easier to discern
- >”-yes! Yes! Just like that!”
- >Before your brain is able to make the connection, you step out from the hall and witness a sight that you will never be able to scrub from your mind
- >Laid out on a chair, and not just any chair, but YOUR COMFY CHAIR, is a naked Applejack silently schlicking away with her eyes closed, huffing softly and bathed in light
- >At least she had the forethought to put a towel down first and you can only guess what is on the t.v.
- >...
- >You were her age once too, and you’re thankful she hasn’t noticed you yet
- >Turning around, as you try to slink back to your room, you hear an audible gasp and a sudden deafening silence
- >...
- >Continuing on your way knowing that you’ve embarrassed her enough already, you sit back down in your chair and feign being asleep
- >Now, you wait
- >...
- >A couple minutes pass before you hear your door crack open briefly
- >”It was all in my head? He really is asleep?”
- >Mere seconds pass before the door closes
- >You thought she’d do that because it’s exactly what you had done before too
- >Moments later, you hear the t.v. turn on again
- >Putting a hand over your mouth, you fail to suppress your laughter
- “Holy shit, already? Was I that horny of a little shit too?”
- >After chuckling for a good while, you get your flask out and have another drink
- >Dammit, you’re gonna have to have ‘the talk’ with her sooner rather than later…
- >Sighing, you stow the flask back in its spot and try to get comfy and snooze until morning
- >”Uncle Anon!”
- >You feel a pressure on your arm that’s trying its damndest to shake you awake
- >”Un-cle An-on!”
- “Five more minutes…”
- >Despite your feeble protest, the rocking of your arm continues
- “Alright, I’m getting up…”
- >Opening your eyes, you see Apple Bloom holding a present with a green ribbon on top of it giving you a beaming smile
- >”Open it!”
- >Taking the small box from her hands, you undo the bow and reveal the contents of the gift
- >It’s a small sheet of paper with what looks like a poem on it
- ///////
- >’Over hill and under sky,’
- >’There’s a man who wears a tie.’
- >’When I am sad or down or blue,’
- >’He’s always there beside me too.’
- >’He holds me close, knows what to say,’
- >’To keep my tears and fears at bay.’
- >’He’ll kiss my cheek and say I’m tough,’
- >’And no matter what, that I’m enough.’
- >’When all is said, and all is done,’
- >’We’ll both go off and have some fun.’
- >’Superheroes, villains and comics galore!’
- >’We’ll play all day and then play some more!’
- >’I say this lots ‘cause I know it’s true,’
- >’You’re family Anon, I’ll always love you!’
- ///////
- >”Whaddaya think?”
- >All you’re able to do is pull her close into a tight hug
- “I love you too Bloomie.”
- >You’re not gonna cry
- >That’s not a tear rolling down your face, it’s just sweat from appreciating how great your niece is!
- >No matter how hard you try, you can’t lie to yourself
- >Pulling away from her, you wipe away the manly tear you had just shed
- “Thank you sweetie, I love it.”
- >Instead of her usual reaction of fist pumps or jumping with joy, she continues to hold her warm smile
- “C’mon, I gotta show you my gift to you now.”
- >Setting down the poem, you take her hand and guide her to the living room
- “Now sit down and keep your eyes closed, ok?”
- >”Ok!”
- >Running to your garage, you take out a length of old red ribbon from a small cardboard box
- >It belonged to the woman who you consider your sister
- >You remember nabbing it from her when you were in middle school and how she became absolutely livid because she thought a certain boy took it
- >Who knew you swiping her precious bow as a prank would lead to her falling in love?
- >Sighing from memories past, you carefully stuff the ribbon in your back pocket and walk back to the living room to see Apple Bloom trying to peek through tiny slits
- “Remember Appy, no peeking.”
- >Moving behind her, you take out the ribbon and weave it into her hair as she giggles
- >”What are you doing-”
- “Shhhh, you’ll see.”
- >Finishing up, you cinch the knot and complete the bow
- “Alright, I’ll guide you to the bathroom, don’t open your eyes yet!”
- >Getting her to the bathroom, you flip on the lights and position her in front of the mirror
- “Ok, open your eyes!”
- >It takes a moment, but when Apple Bloom opens her eyes, the corners of her mouth dart upwards
- >”IT’S SO-”
- “Shhh, not so loud!”
- >”it’s so cute, I’m gonna wear it everyday! How’d you get this?”
- >Looking into the mirror, you feel as if you’re past stands before you
- “Lets just say someone who I love just as much as you let me have it long ago.”
- >”I love you Uncle Anon” she says as she turns on a dime and nearly tackles you to the floor
- “I love you too, Apple Bloom.”
- >After enjoying this special moment between you and your niece, you both go into the kitchen and have another
- >As you pull out the little dishes of rice pudding, Apple Bloom jumps up and down, her bow bouncing with her
- >Taking out some cinnamon, you sprinkle a healthy amount on top of both dishes
- >Grabbing some spoons, you sit down in your comfy chair with her in your lap as you both savor the sweetness of the dessert
- -FIN
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